07x02 - Chachi Sells His Soul

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed before a studio audience.

Happy Days is filmed before a studio audience.

Hi, Rich.

Gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight, eh?

Cute Al.

Hey, come on, have some Espresso.

Sit down.

Oh, no, I'm afraid I'll wreck my tail.

You devil, you know.

Rich, why the getup?

Oh, it's Dante's Inferno Party at the
sorority house tonight.

Everybody's gotta dress like a character
from hell, you know.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

You know why I get to be the devil?

Lori Beth, head of the entertainment.

Uh, yeah, yeah.

You know why I get to be the devil?

Ah, you see, it's good to know people in high places.

Yeah, or low places.

So ridiculous.

He didn't...

He didn't really have a blue beard.

They just called him that.

Why would they call him blue beard if he
didn't wear a blue beard?

Good character, Pots.

I like the blue beard.

See?

Ralph, who are you?

What do you mean, who am I?

We're supposed to be dressed like someone we meet in hell.

I'm a dentist.

Come on, guys.

Hey.

Hey, fellas.

Costumes, huh?

Yeah.

All right, count me in.

Oh, no, this is Dante's inferno party at
the sorority house, see?

You can't come.

Oh, great, I'll tell you what.

You give me five minutes, I'll get a girl.

Hey, sorry, Chacha, strictly college.

Then give me ten minutes, I'll get a college girl.

No dice, Chacha, this is grown-up stuff.

Grown-up?

What are you guys talking about?

I'm grown-up.

Chacha, in a couple of years, you're going to
recognize the immaturity of that particular statement.

I got it.

Great idea, Chacha.

Why don't you get Richie to buy your soul?

Lori Beth.

Hi, guys.

Your dates are waiting.

Hey, Lori Beth, what's with the wig here?

Oh, there's your hair, I see it.

Lady Godiva, you can ride through my street anytime.

Chachi.

I know, get lost, you little twerp.

Right.

I just wanted to see the lightning, Rich.

Why don't you go see that chair over there?

Lori Beth.

LV, you're Lady Godiva.

Lady Godiva, huh?

You must have something on under there.

Yes, Richard.

Oh, you see that?

She does.

She's got something on.

What do you have on?

Body lotion.

Kidding.

Ralph, she's only kidding.

Body lotion.

I like the hair.

Listen, why don't we skip the party and go
right to Inspiration Point?

You know something, Mal?

She'll never win the prize for best costume.

She's not wearing anything.

She's wearing body lotion.

Arnold, do me a favor and a drummy Nespresso.

Sorry, Chachi, you're too young to drink coffee.

Anyway, we're closing up.

Hey, old buddy, what do you say you and
me, we take in a late movie, huh?

Ah, some other time, Chachi.

Hi, Jermaine.

That's Jermaine.

Listen, do me a favor.

Lock up for me, will you?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Jermaine, you're a flower.

Too young for coffee, too young for
sorority parties, too young, too young.

It's not fair.

Like, I'm always left out of everything.

It's not fair.

It's not fair!

You know, I would sell my soul to the
devil to be more grown up.

Chachi Arcola, Chachi Arcola.

Hi.

I'm Melvin Scratch.

Where you come from?

The old hot place.

See, I'm the nephew of the devil.

Came to buy your soul.

What, am I going nuts?

You buy souls?

Oh, yeah.

Melvin's my name.

Souls are my game.

All right, Kleiner, you had your fun.

Now, look, I'm in no mood for this, all right?

So just go back to the party at the sorority house.

Oh.

You need convincing, huh?

This is my favorite part.

Okay.

What do you like, blondes or brunettes?

Redheads.

You little dickens.

Clear.

Okay.

Answer, and it's for you.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Chachi.

Who's this?

Hey.

It's Lisa and Linda, and they're both redheads.

No.

Yeah, and they want to go out with me.

Why don't you ask them why they want to go out with you?

Why do you want to go out with me?

Because I'm so grown up.

And you're a warm and wonderful person.

That's exactly what they say.

Yeah, I know.

You mean you're really the...

Would I wear this shirt if I wasn't?

Is that a deal?

I don't know, Melvin.

I don't know.

What should I do?

Sign this contract.

Look, I'm not so sure about this.

Redheads.

I'm sure.

I'm sure.

I'm sure.

What next?

Chachi Arcola, you are now a warm and wonderful person.

You are adored by everyone.

Now go up to Inspiration Point and collect those redheads.

All right, Melvin.

I'm on my way.

All right, Melvin.

Look, Uncle Satan, I got another one.

It's so hard to please.

How do I look?

Oh, lovely, Dee.

Just right for your date.

How much did that dress cost?

Nearly $50.

$50?

Oh, dear.

She's dating Chachi.

Oh, well, that's different.

Oh, you're such a lucky young lady.

It's worth every penny of it.

He's such a warm and wonderful person.

Here he comes.

Oh, he's so neat.

And only a few days ago, I thought he was
a silly young twerp.

Well, at least I think I did.

It's him!

Chachi!

Girls, please, please.

My lips need a breather.

All right?

I'll see you later.

Oh, Chachi, you're so wonderful and so grown up.

Oh, true, true, true.

I'm telling you, what a day I had.

Oh, well, tell us all about it.

Come, old man, sit in my chair.

Can I get you?

Something, Chachi.

Oh, no, no, no.

Nothing, thanks, Mrs. C.

Oh, he called me Mrs. C.

He's such a warm and wonderful person.

Oh, Chachi, there you are.

I've just come from the fraternity.

It's unanimous.

They all want you in, even though you
haven't graduated from high school yet.

Oh, that's great, Rich.

I'll think it over.

Would you?

Yeah.

Hey, everybody.

Oh, Fonz, look who's here.

My cousin Chachi's here.

Mrs. C, what can you do for Chachi?

Oh, I already asked him.

He said no, but I've almost finished his sweater.

That's nice.

Thanks, Mrs. C.

He said thanks.

Did you hear him?

He said thanks.

He is such a warm and wonderful person.

Stop being like this.

I haven't changed.

It's, it's, it's... What, what, what?

Whatever, man.

No, what is it?

Do you tell us?

Yes, tell us.

We love listening to your voice.

It's like the harps of heaven.

No, listen, I don't want to talk.

You have to talk.

Just let us be near you.

Please, can we just stop following you, please?

I can't stand this anymore.

Oh, Chachi!

It must have been something I said.

It's my fault.

Joe, it's me.

He didn't want to go out with me.

Hi, Fonz.

Chachi, I'm so sorry I'm in your office.

You see, I had a little lipstick on my collar.

I was just wiping it off.

Chachi, I gotta tell you something.

I'm so embarrassed.

Fonz, I haven't slept all night.

You look terrible for a warm and wonderful person.

Fonz, I have a problem, and I have to tell you something.

I'm so proud you picked me to conversate with.

Yeah, I'll listen.

Fonz.

Yeah?

I sold my soul to the devil.

You're not only warm and wonderful, you're hysterical.

You gotta believe me.

Fonz, look at me.

Yeah, you're warm and wonderful.

Fonz, I'm not that warm and wonderful, Fonz.

You're warm, you're wonderful.

Fonz, it's the devil making you think so, Fonz.

You're warm, you're wonderful.

This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.

You're warm, you're wonderful.

Did you just... Yes.

Fonz, are you?

Yeah, Fonz, you're back.

Yeah, I'm back and you better make it interesting.

Because if you don't, you're going to meet
up with a cold knuckle sandwich.

Now, what do you got to tell me?

All right, Fonz, now, it all started,
I was sitting in Arnold's.

I can dig that.

And then he goes, the yellow's above.

And that's it, Fonz, that's what happens.

You got to help me.

I don't want to be warm and wonderful, I want to be me.

I understand.

All right, how do you get to meet this guy from down under?

I don't know, he just appears.

You see that?

I hate hocus pocus.

What's his name?

Melvin Scratch.

Melvin Scratch.

All right, I'll take care of it.

It's my problem now.

Get out of here.

No, Fonz, this is my problem.

I think I... You asked me for help.

I'll help you.

Out of here.

Get out.

Thanks, Fonz.

Good luck.

Yeah.

His name is Melvin Scratch.

I understand.

Melvin Scratch.

All right, Melvin.

Melvin.

Melvin Scratch.

Come on, show yourself.

Hey, Hocus Pocus.

All right.

I hear you've got some papers on my cousin, Chuch.

Oh, yeah, Alan.

Triplicate.

And I want him drunk.

Will you please get out of here?

People think it's cute the way I pop around.

Oh, yeah?

I don't.

Oh.

I want those papers now.

Deal's a deal.

What do you want to do?

Fight for them?

Huh?

Fists?

Wrestling?

Pitchforks?

Come on.

No violence.

I want to tell you something, Mel.

If you do that one more time, I'm going to
make a very hot view right here on Earth.

Okay.

I got a proposition for you.

I'm all ears.

If you can go 24 hours without a girl's
lips touching you, Chachi goes free.

No kissing?

No kissing.

No kissing.

My lips ain't going to forgive me.

But if you can't, Chachi goes, and so do you.

Are you talking...

Well, I'm not talking about Detroit.

All right, look.

No kissing?

Chachi's free, huh?

One kiss, then it's Torment City for two.

All right.

You got a deal.

When do we start?

Oh, you'll find out.

Oh, this is great.

This is great.

I make a deal, no kissing, 24 hours.

I don't even know when it starts.

I think it started.

I'm telling you something, Rich.

It is the strangest thing.

His name is like bells and bulbs.

That's hard to believe.

Hey, you're telling me, huh?

I'm going 24 hours without a kiss.

That's really hard to believe.

All right, now, are you going to help me or not?

All right, Fonz, I'll help you.

We'll do it together.

Not one kiss.

No.

It's a little hard for me to believe that the
devil's running around Arnold's, though.

I mean, a pitchfork and little horns.

No, no horns, no pitchforks.

It's the devil's nephew, Melvin.

He's wearing shorts.

He's outside.

Beware the devil's nephew.

Yeah.

Uh-oh.

What?

Fonz, be cool.

I'm cool.

Turn around.

Hello.

All right, now, this is Cleopatra, Fonz.

Be careful.

She's got a wicked a*s.

A what?

A wicked a*s.

A snake.

Oh, yeah.

Just remember what she did to Caesar.

That's what I want to do.

I want to seize her.

Hey, watch this.

Fonz.

Whoop.

See that?

She ain't, like, tight.

Not with a snake like that, huh?

I did it.

Did I do it?

All right.

Good Z.

Way to protect those lips, babe.

Babe.

Good, Fonz.

That was good.

Yeah, that was good.

Let's go out and eat.

No, man.

All right.

Fonz, you think I'm dressed good enough?

Will you come around here?

Nothing.

Don't stop us now.

Richie, meet Melvin.

Hello.

Boy, I'm real glad to meet you, Richie.

It isn't often we get to meet a real goody two-shoes.

I've got my bad traits.

You bet.

Oh, Richie.

You don't go to hell for a while.

You're overdue library books.

All right, what do you got for us now?

Oh, just a few of my friends.

Beelzebub.

That's Mata Hari.

She's my favorite spy.

Mata Hari?

Martha Hari.

I never heard of her.

All right, now, now, take it easy, Fonz.

Rich, I can't help it.

No, no, no, Fonz.

No.

No, Fonz.

Rich, no.

All right.

All right, you're right.

You're right.

No, Fonz.

No.

No.

No.

You're not missing much, Fonz.

I don't believe you.

No, really.

Only a mediocre kisser.

But I love that turban.

Oh, this is tough.

Yeah?

Salome doing the dance of the seven veils.

This is too much for me.

Oh.

Oh, this dance, Fonz.

This is tough.

Oh.

How many veils does she have to go?

She's down to about four now.

Gotta sneak a peek.

No.

Now, Fonz.

Now, listen.

I know this is difficult, but no.

No, no, Fonz.

No.

What do you mean, no?

No.

No.

No.

No.

You do it.

No, no, Fonz.

You gotta control yourself.

That's good, Fonz.

No, no, no.

Father, wait.

All right.

I'm going to touch your belly button.

No, no, no.

Don't be Knights.

Don't feel any... Please, Fonz, you can do it.

Don't let her kiss you, Fonz.

You're a dirty fighter.

Oh, thanks.

You're doing great.

I gotta know where to go.

You did a great job.

Good.

I'm going to sacrifice myself for you, Fonz.

All right.

Take me, girls.

I'm yours.

Fonz!

Yeah?

Yeah?

They pooped my pucker.

Girls, can we talk this over?

I just can't.

Hold it.

What the heck?

Pardon me, Fonz.

Richie, there's another one, and I ain't going to kiss him.

Hey, I'm random.

I'm an angel.

I'm the Fonz.

I'm a goner.

Do something, please.

Please.

Okay?

What happened, Rich?

You saved my best friend from the fiery pit.

No, no, you did.

From the boiling cauldron.

From the eternity of emptiness,
of nothingness, of never knowing love,

never knowing fear.

Richie.

Never.

Yeah, Fonz?

Just say thank you.

You're welcome.

Yeah.

Really, thanks.

You're welcome.

No problem for a big guy like me.

I'm kind of new to gravity.

How'd you do that?

You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.

Listen, we've got to talk about this Melvin deal.

Oh, Melvin.

You know, it's a shame.

I had reservations for you and Chachi in heaven.

Fonz.

Fonz.

That's great.

That's, hey, congratulations.

You and Chachi and, what about me?

He's my best friend.

Are you kidding?

Mr. Goody Two-Shoes?

They're talking about him taking my place.

Hey, me as an angel?

I'd be a good angel, don't you think?

I'd work very hard.

I'd learn all the ins and outs.

You'd have to die first.

Fonz.

So, Rich, you've got a long life ahead of you, Rich.

Yeah.

Don't worry.

Well, I'm just glad you showed up, Brandon.

Well, I better get going.

I've got harp lessons.

Oh, okay.

Well, thanks for coming down here and solving the problem.

You didn't solve anything.

You can handle it yourself.

You don't need me.

We help those who help themselves.

Gravity.

I think Melvin's got some special effects.

Watch me disappear.

It's like Pittsburgh.

I guess I'll just walk.

Time.

Two minutes, Fonz.

Two minutes and your 24-hour illness is over.

Illness?

Oh, yeah.

I passed the word that you were having 24-hour flu.

I hope my lips don't die.

Lips don't die, Fonz.

Come on in.

Oh, no, no.

It could be, you know, one of those girls.

Maybe the thing.

Oh, no.

It's all right.

It's all right.

It's all right.

Come on in, Chachi.

Fonz, I had to be here.

Hey, I'm glad you're here, Chachi.

Hey, Rich.

Oh, wow.

Fonz.

Hey, Fonz.

Chachi.

We're more than married.

Come on.

Fonz, you look terrible.

Oh, yeah.

You know something, Fonz?

We heard about you.

You flew.

I got some new germ jokes.

Listen to this.

Two germs are playing water Polo.

Ralph, Ralph, maybe we don't need any
jokes right now, okay?

I'm getting dizzy again, man.

Richard, how's the patient?

Oh, better, better.

I'm going to make some soup, plenty of liquid.

Oh, Fonz, are you all right?

I'm feeling better.

How?

Time.





Oh, uh, 15 seconds until Fonzie's 24-hour virus is over.

Down to the second.

Isn't modern sickness wonderful?



Yeah.



Oh, Arthur, don't worry.

You're going to be better soon.



What?

Oh, no, she kissed me.

Well, I never got that reaction from Howard.

Oh, just a minute.

Oh, hello.

Hi.

Come on, guys.

We got to go.

Fonz, it's my fault.

Hey, Chachi, you stay here.

I'm going.

No.

Deal's a deal.

You're both going.

Well, Arthur is just recovering from the flu.

He's not well enough to go out.

What's going on around here?

Now, maybe you didn't understand
me, but Arthur... I have to take him.

Over my dead body.

And mine, too.

Me, too.

This is the weirdest flu I ever saw.

But I gotta tell you something,
that goes double for us, right, Pops?

You just try something, buddy.

You heard him, bucko.

That's it for you guys.

Going down.

Beels-a-bop.

Pops, we're still here.

Beels-a-bop.

It's not working, is it?

Beels-a-bop.

Well, well, well.

Melvin.

Looks like we knew what to do, huh?

Looks like the angel was right, huh?

Looked like we had the answer.

Well, I wanted to tell you guys.

What is it, Fonz?

Very simple.

The only thing that can beat the devil.

L-O-V-E.

Love.

Nobody loves me.

Beels-a-bop.

Why are we all standing around like this?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm all wiped out.

Hey, Mrs. C, would you make me some hot chocolate, please?

Oh, Michael, look.

Thank you, Arthur.

As long as we're all here, let's have a party.

Chachi, don't be such a twerp.

You know, that is the nicest thing
anybody's said to me all day.

Wake up, sleepyhead.

Chachi.

Chach.

Chachi, wake up.

No.

Oh.

Al, I thought you were the...

The what?

Never mind, Al.

I thought you were going to lock up for me.

I'm sorry.

I guess I fell asleep.

Hey, Al.

What's all the lights on?

Late party tonight?

Nah, he just couldn't handle the Espresso.

Oh, hey, Chachis.

I'm sorry about not letting you go to that party.

Oh, no, no, no, Rich.

That's all right.

Oh, next time we will.

No, no, I'm too young for those parties.

Oh, you're not too young.

I'm just a little kid, Rich.

I'm in no hurry to grow up.

See ya.

Bye.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Goodbye gray sky, hello blue.

There's nothing that can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rocking and rolling, always young.

These days are ours.

Happy and free.

Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Shed them with me.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.