07x04 - Marion Goes to Jail

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Happy Days is filmed before a studio audience.

And a hush falls over the crowd at the annual Leopard Lodge
Golf Tournament, as Howard Cunningham prepares to putt.

Putt, yeah, putt.

See, I'm studying broadcasting and journalism.

This is sort of like doing homework for me.

Why don't you take a commercial break, Richard?

Commercial, that's pretty good.

Howard Cunningham addresses the ball,
his concentration is excellent.

And he wiggles and putts.

And he misses by a mile and a half.

What an awful putt.

But he takes it like a gentleman he truly is.

Why don't you tell him I'm not used to wearing glasses?

Here, Jack.

Maybe you can hit this.

That's not funny, Jack.

Yes, it is.

Howard, a terrible thing happened.

What's wrong?

The car has been stolen.

Oh, my car's stolen?

Marion, what?

All right, just calm yourself.

Sit down.

Tell us what happened.

Well, I was at that cute new little dress shop.

The one up near Arnold's?

The one up the hill?

Exactly.

Who cares where it is?

Just tell us where it is.

I came out of the store and it was gone.

Just missing.

Nowhere.

Nothing.

Well, did you leave the keys in it?

Oh, no, Howard.

I never had them.

Well, if you have the keys, how'd they steal the car, Mom?

Yeah.

When you come to think of it, why'd they steal the car?

Richard.

I was so upset.

I was going to go straight to Arnold's
down the hill and call the police,

but it was such a commotion there,
I just took a cab straight home.

Good thinking, Marion.

Call the police.

Operator, would you please give me the police?

I'll get it.

Officer Kirk.

Oh, thank you, operator.

That's speeding service.

Howard C.

Cunningham.

Oh, come on, Kirk.

You know my name.

This is official business, Cunningham.

Are you missing a 49 DeSoto?

Mine is fine.

Keep your hands off the law.

Never touch a police officer.

What is the matter with you people?

Of course I found your car.

I'm a professional police officer.

And a darn good one.

It was stolen.

Yeah, did you find the thief?

Probably copped by that hoodlum, Fonzarelli.

Arthur wouldn't do a thing like that.

All right, if you come with me, I'll take you to the scene.

I'll arrest Fonzarelli later.

Oh, you can't do that.

We'll see about that, Cunningham.

All right, let's move it.

One, two, three, four.

Young Cunningham, get back in there.

Lock that door.

You want to lose your house, Cunningham?

No, no, no.

One, two, three, four.

Oh, Howard.

Oh, my poor DeSoto, my poor babe.

Oh, Howard.

You know, he raised that car.

Oh, Marion.

Let it all out.

Hey, Mom, maybe Al saw the thieves.

Oh, good idea, Al.

Did you see anybody suspicious leaving the scene?

No.

All I saw was a nice wall.

Remember the wall?

Then I saw two headlights, and then the
air was filled with French fries.

Oh, my God.

Clarence, quit hiding.

It's all over.

All right.

Nobody move.

Everybody all right?

Yeah, we're all right, folks.

I'll tell you something.

I'll tell you something.

I got a call on my tow truck for a 49 DeSoto.

I flew here.

I'm talking flew here.

I'm glad to see that the Cunninghams are all in one piece.

They're not little itsy-bitsy pieces all over the place.

Mr. Fonzie, look at my poor DeSoto.

Yeah, well, I'll tell you something, mister.

See the body, mister.

That looks okay, you know, I mean, it doesn't look bad.

Well, uh, there's a little dent over there.

Yeah, well, it must have hit an Arnold burger.

Officer Kirk?

Well, I knew there was a creep in here.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Uh, Fonz, uh, listen, don't you think
maybe it's time to hook up the old tow truck?

Oh, yeah, it is getting a little stale in here.

Kirk, what did you find out?

Well, the accident investigator has determined
the circumstances surrounding this vehicle.

Did you get a disturbance?

What?

You caught the thief?

That's not what I said, little lady.

Would you get to the point, sir?

It appears that the emergency brake had not been set.

The car just rolled down the hill.

Roll?

Marion?

You forgot to set the emergency brake?

Well, maybe I, I, I, sometimes I do forget.

Everybody forgets, Dad.

Yes, but the time to forget is not when
you're parked at the top of a hill.

Yeah, but Dad, we don't know for sure it's Mom's fault.

All right, you'll have to sign this for me, Ms. Cunningham.

What is it?

Oh, nothing much.

Just vehicular negligence, failure to obey
safety regulations, exceeding the speed

limit, destruction of public property,
and going over a red light.

All right.

All right, I'll see you in court.

I can hardly wait, Cunningham.

Hey, Joanie, you know, I bet you that, uh, I
bet you Fonzie could use a hand with a tow truck.

Fonzie doesn't need a hand.

Marion, I would like to have a few words with you.

Oh, I think I hear him calling now.

This is the most incompetent,
irresponsible, thing you have ever done.

Well, now, Howard, this is one little accident.

You overreact.

Overreact?

Marion, you ruined my DeSoto.

You wrecked Al's place.

You spoiled a perfect driving record.

Haven't you got anything to say?

Well, everybody makes mistakes.

I'll tell you who made a mistake, Marion.

The state of Wisconsin when they gave you
a driver's license.

Oh, Marion.

Oh.

Oh.

Don't do it on purpose.

Good morning, everybody.

Hi, morning, Dad.

Morning, Dad.

Breakfast ready, huh?

He's not going to go today.

You know, there's possible snow flurries.

Listen, young lady, a little snow never hurt Arnie
Palmer, and it's not going to hurt Howie Cunningham.

Hey, way to go, Dad.

Marion, how about some... Marion?

Hello.

What's this?

Howard, I'm not speaking to you.

Give this note to Richie.

What?

Dearest Richard, please tell your father...

Dad, she wasn't kidding.

Read the note, Richie.

I have decided that since your father
feels I've caused him so much trouble with

the car, I'm going to court to take full
responsibility for the matter.

Joanie's French toast and your blueberry
pancakes are in the oven.

Oh, how nice.

That's real nice.

Richard!

Oh, right.

Your father can make his own way.

Have some breakfast.

Love, Mom.

Why does she always have to be so dramatic?

Oh, boy, Dad, what did you say to her?

I didn't say anything to her.

Dad.

Well, I guess I lost my temper a little
bit and yelled, but she shouldn't have

been so careless with that emergency break.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sure Mom will calm down.

Things will be better tomorrow.

I hope so.

Maybe I'll bring home some Chinese food
for supper to surprise her.

Hey, maybe that's her.

Yeah, maybe she changed.

She changed her mind.

Good, good.

Oh, it's only a caddy.

And a good morning to you, too.

Are you sure you want to play golf in this weather?

Yes, I do.

It looks like it could snow any minute.

Bag's right over there, Chachi.

I don't know.

Maybe I shouldn't play golf today.

Maybe your mother may need me.

Oh, no, Dad.

You've been looking forward to this fall
classic for a long time.

And besides, I think this is the year
you're going to break 100.

And 50.

No.

Will you two look after your mother?

We can handle Dad.

Don't worry.

It's only traffic court.

Yeah.

Chachi, will you check and see if I got enough teas?

Oh, I brought some teas, Mr. C.

I also brought a compass.

A compass?

Yeah, you see, I figured if we got lost again
this year, at least we'd know where we are, right?

That's not funny, Chachi.

No, but it's true.

Listen, you go find your mother and tell
her we'll talk when I get home.

Yeah, all right, Dad.

All right, Dad.

Mr. C, we've been... I'm going to stop
at the pro shop and get some golf ba*ls.

I've got two dozen of them in the bag.

Yeah, but we need some for the second hole.

Get out of here.

Breakfast.

My French toast.

My blueberries.

Hello,

county courthouse?

Yes, yes, I'm trying to locate a Marion Cunningham.

No?

No, I don't want the lost and found.

No, the traffic department.

Yes.

Yes, I'll hold on.

Why, have they seen her?

I'm still trying to get the right department.

Hello?

Traffic department.

Oh, good, good.

I'm trying to locate a Marion Cunningham, and I...

No, no, no, don't, don't...

Switch me to lost and found.

Al, why don't you do something about the cold in here?

What?

Cold.

Mold?

You're talking about my food.

I said it's cold, Al.

Joanie, I know it's cold.

Everybody knows it's cold.

Except Clarence.

But he's been numb for 12 years.

Okay, thank you.

Well, she's not lost, and she's not found.

Maybe we should drive down to the station, huh, Joanie?

Oh, no, Mom can take care of herself, Rich.

Yeah, you're probably right.

It's a traffic court.

Good.

Dr. Livingston, I presume.

Yeah.

I got a few thoughts.

Everybody's a comedian today.

All right.

What are you guys doing dressed up in
the little suits and with the tools on your belts?

We've been doing some repair work for
Chachi's mom back at the apartment.

Yeah, if we do anything for her,
she takes something off the rent.

Oh.

How much did she deduct?

Well, today she added $2.

We dropped sawdust in her spaghetti.

Small oversight.

Listen, Al.

Ralph and I could fix this.

We'll fix this whole point real good.

Okay.

Now, what if I gave you the job?

Just how much would it cost?

$200.

$200?

Come on, Al.

You want quality, right?

We guarantee the work.

Yeah.

In writing?

All right, $30.

You got the job.

Great.

Hey, fellas.

Hey.

Hey, guys.

Hey, taste.

Have you posted?

There's some water on the floor in here.

You could ice skate.

Yeah.

How's the DeSoto coming along?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I got it off the critical list.

Oh, that's great, boss.

I'll tell you something, Al.

You've always been talking about air
conditioning, but this is downright silly.

I could take the cold, Fonz, but it's people
walking in and out of this hole that bugs me.

You need a wall?

You got something to make a line with?

Some carpenter's chalk.

Yeah, that's good.

Get out of the way.

There's your wall, Al.

Anybody crosses over... They got to answer to me.

Relax, Al.

That is a wall, huh?

There goes the phone.

I don't hear a phone.

It ain't for you.

Let's get some wood for the job.

How about some nice mahogany?

Talk to me.

Oh, hi, Mr. C.

Yeah, I was expecting someone like Paula
Petro-Lunger, you know.

Of course.

Of course.

I can give a message to Richie and Joanie.

You're where?

You're what?

Don't move.

There you go, Richie, Joanie, come here.

Yeah?

Alfonso?

Well, I got a message from your mom.

Oh, what's up?

Is Mom okay?

Oh, she's fine.

She's having a picture taken.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Where?

In jail.

In jail?

Prisoner!

Cut.

Prisoner!

Commence visiting.

Oh, my God!

Are you all right?

No, no, no, no, no, no, crossing of the virus.

That's off the alarm.

Well, thank you.

How'd you do that?

Hey, it's all in the roof.

And a cute little wrist it is.

Oh, children, I'm so glad to see you.

Me too.

And Arthur, this is Gloria.

It's really nice that this is my children.

This is Joanie and Richard and my very
good friend, Arthur Fonzarelli.

She's just working here long enough to get
money to put herself through beauty school.

Oh, Marion, your children have lovely hair.

Hey.

You go without saying, big boy.

Mom, what happened?

Why are you in here?

Five days or $50 and I'm going to prove to your father
for once and all that I'm not incompetent and irresponsible.

Mom, I'm going to have you out of here in two minutes, Mom.

Richard, don't you dare.

I don't want any help.

Look, look, Mom, I can get the $50.

We can get you out of here.

This is no time to be independent, Mom.

No, it's not.

Hold it.

Mrs. C, this is your play.

We'll do it your way.

Just to make sure, I'm going to go talk to the warden.

You know him?

Him?

He's a pup.

Hi, Fonz.

Hey, Rich, Joanie, Mrs. C.

Hey.

Hey, guys.

Look who's here.

Oh, Mrs. C, you look great.

Well, I feel lost without my pearls.

Nah.

Ah, prison life really agrees with you.

Mrs. C, you said to be pleasant.

Mrs. C, I don't want you to worry about Arnold's.

Potsie and I are fixing up that wall.

It's going to look just like new.

Oh, that's right.

Al.

Al's getting him to fix it.

Well, it's nice to have friends.

Yeah.

Friends are important.

It's true.

Well, tell me something.

Yeah.

Yeah, why not?

Did your father go to the golf tournament?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he went to the tournament this morning.

Yeah, yeah.

And he doesn't know.

No?

No.

And don't worry, because we're not going to tell him.

No.

You could tell him.

Look, Mom, why don't you just come on home with us now?

I'm sorry, Marion.

Time's up.

Oh, a little bit more.

Oh, I'd like to, Marion, but I have to do Phyllis's hair.

She's escaping tonight.

What?

Well, we hear you.

Humor her.

Well, all right.

Now, wait.

Wait one second, ma'am.

No, Richard, my mind is made up.

Well, why don't we tell Dad?

Tell him that I hope he's comfortable
snuggling up to his DeSoto.

What do you think Dad will do when he
finds out Mom's in jail?

Well, I can tell you what he won't do.

He won't take it calmly.

We could lie.

You know, we could?

Mm-hmm.

All right, all right, I got an idea.

I'm going to tell Dad that Mom won an
all-expenses-paid trip to France and she left this morning.

No, that's ridiculous.

True.

England?

Rich.

All right, all right, we'll be mature and
we'll tell the truth.

Yeah.

All right.

Here he is, Frosty the Golf Man.

Hi, Dad.

Richie, Joanie, where's your mother?

How was the tournament?

How was the tournament?

Are you kidding?

Mr. C won it.

You won?

You won.

That's great.

First place?

It was nothing.

What was the score?

Good enough to win.

Dad, look at this thing.

That's beautiful.

I'm so proud of you, Dad.

Are you going to tell him or am I?

All right.

Nobody else showed up.

Winner by forfeit, Howard Cunningham.

I have a ball, Mr. C.

I'll tell you what.

Put me down for next year.

Who knows?

Maybe you'll win again.

If Milwaukee has a monsoon, that is.

See you later.

Yeah.

See you, Chachi.

I don't care.

It's better than nothing.

It's nice.

It's a good trophy.

Where'd you say your mother was?

Oh, she's not here.

Well, where is she?

She's, uh...

Okay, Dad.

Mom went down to the police station to pay
her fine, you know, because she wanted to

take responsibility for this thing
herself, and she didn't have enough money

for the fine, so she chose the other option.

Well, I'm very proud... I'm very proud of your
mother to think that she faced up to her responsibilities.

Yeah, yeah.

What was the option?

Five days in jail.

What?

Yeah, Dad, listen, we pleaded with her.

Her mind's made up.

She's gonna stay in jail.

Well, we'll see about that.

Oh, Joanie, we gotta go with
him, because as soon as Dad sees

that the car's not there, why,
then he's gonna, uh... Richard!

Yell for a ride.

Yeah, I understand that.

How's the television working?

Oh, that's working really fine, Arthur.

Yeah.

The window bars make a really lovely antenna.

I need a look at what works.

You met friends?

You made any friends here?

I like 95837 a lot.

I just hated you.

But I haven't done a really stupid thing
and I want to go home.

All right, look.

Just don't cry on me, all right?

Mrs. C, you're cool.

I'll do the best I can, all right?

Mary, your husband's on his way in here.

Oh, thank you, Gloria.

Oh, Arthur, I don't want him to see me like this.

Sit down.

Mary.

Hey, hello, Mrs. C.

Fonzie?

Yeah?

I'd like to talk to my wife alone.

Richie and Joanie are waiting outside.

Hello, Howard.

Arthur just told me the funniest... Please.

He said please.

Move.

I think I'd like to go back to my cell.

Mary, I lost my temper, and I was wrong.

It happens with married people sometimes, huh?

You're not incompetent, and you're not irresponsible.

You're a wonderful woman, and I apologize.

Oh, Marion, I've heard them all,
and that's a very nice apology.

Do you mind?

Well... I'm not finished, Marion.

Now, look, I don't care about the DeSoto,
and I don't care about the DeSoto.

I don't care about the fine or the accident.

I just care about you.

Do you, Howard?

Yes.

And there's one other thing I'd like to say.

I'm waiting.

Could we get rid of her?

Lori, do you mind?

Oh, Marion, it is against the rules, but...

Well, maybe I could go check my hair.

Go ahead.

I love you, Marion.

Won't I love you, Howard?

Now, look, I paid the fine, so let's go home, huh?

Oh, I would like that very much.

What the heck?

I couldn't do that.

Oh, Howard, this is so sweet.

Flowers and Chinese food.

Well, I just wanted to do something
special, just for the two of us.

Besides, with Richie and Joanie down at
the party at Arnold's, I get all the egg rolls.

Well, I can see what my fortune says.

Oh, my.

What?

It says you are married to a very special guy.

Let me see that.

Oh, it doesn't say that, but I do.

Snookums.

Baby cake.

Excusez-moi.

All right, Fonzie, what can we do for you?

Les billes.

Ah, I knew I couldn't avoid that DeSoto bill for very long.

Oh, wait a minute.

I think you made a mistake.

Here's $7.50.

It's no mistake.

It's company policy.

You don't charge family for labor.

That's $7.50 for an emergency break,
which I told you to check three months ago.

Emergency break?

Oh, yeah, it was broken long before you
parked it on that hill.

Howard, I could just... Let me
see what my fortune cookie says.

Oh, am I lucky.

Look what it says.

Loving wife always forgives loving husband.

Loving mechanic is touched by romance.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Blue light, gray sky, hello blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

These days are ours.

Happy and free.

Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Oh, baby.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.