07x11 - Fonzie vs. The She-Devils

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Great news, the new tickets for the band
just arrived, you're gonna love them.

Excellent.

So guys.

Don't they look like hit musicians?

What do you think?

Boy, I'll bet there's one of those in that
box for me, isn't there?

You wanna be a hit musician too, don't you?

Come on, try it on.

No, no, I can see that.

That's going to fit like a charm.

Rich?

Try it on.

Yeah, we tried ours on.

Come on, you're going to like it.

Look at that.

Look at that already.

Stand over there.

Now, that's a hip spin.

You're beautiful.

I got to go.

Where are you going, Al?

Clarence was helping me unload the trunk
of the car, and he slammed his hand in it.

What?

You're going to get the first aid kit out?

No, I'm going to open the trunk.

You think we'll ever get used to these?

You can get used to anything.

I got used to Ralph.

Hey, guys, look at this.

Ricky Wacky Woo.

You look great.

Oh, you look at the way that leather breathes.

She devils.

It must be a motorcycle.

Okay, guys, it's very simple.

There's three of us, and there's three of them.

Now, you know what that means.

Yeah, there's six of us.

There's going to be five of us in a minute.

I say we go over there and sweep them off
their feet, right?

What do you say?

You got it.

No.

No?

No?

No.

Lori Beth's gone for one weekend.

You think I'm going to chase any girl who walks in here?

b*tch, these aren't any girls.

Inside, they didn't walk in here.

They sort of slithered in.

Hey, look at those three guys in the boots.

Get a load of those jackets.

They look like a test pattern.

These are just the kind of guys that
Bertha told us to bring to the nerd party.

I told you this was the perfect place to find nerds.

Yeah.

All right, all right, I'll do it.

I'm telling you, they're still not going
to be interested in us.

Just wait.

They're here.

They're standing right here.

Get rid of the jackets.

Right.

Sharp jackets.

Yeah, we dress like this all the time.

We're in town a couple of days to clean up
a little g*ng business.

And, uh, we're having a little bit of fun.

We're having a little party tonight.

Party.

And we're holding out for some real tigers
to take as dates.

I need for you to be at that party with me.

And I need to be there.

Hey, this really is an abandoned beauty parlor.

Is this wild?

Is this wild?

Tell me, Richie, is this wild?

Is this wild?

No, there's something kind of weird here.

What do you mean?

Have you seen the other guys that they
invited to the party?

They look normal to me.

Yeah, well, that's what I mean.

I mean, somehow I thought that these guys
would be wearing, I don't know, animal skins.

This is going to be one night to remember.

All right, all right, let's see what you got here for me.

I'm Big Bertha Shake.

I am, I am.

This is what you brought me, huh?

Nice jacket.

I see we just have a little contest here tonight.

The she-devil that brings the most,
uh, interesting date wins a hundred bucks.

I'm counting on you to win.

You can do it.

Right.

Don't worry, baby, we got it tied up, you kidding?

All right, come on, let's get going.

You start.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm first, huh?

All right, okay.

I'm first, okay.

Hello, ladies.

Um, my name is Ralph.

You want to hear about my new watchdog?

He's a scream.

Every time I yell attack, he has one.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

You get it?

You get it?

Next.

I don't think you got it.

Okay, you.

Oh, me.

Ha.

Well, hello, hello, hello.

My name is Potsie Weber.

Next.

So far, this guy's ahead.

Next.

I don't get it.

All you said was your name.

It's the way I said it.

All right, you.

Hi.

I'm Richard Cunningham.

I'm a journalism major.

I was sophomore class president.

I helped institute diagonal parking on campus.

Yeah, that was me.

Go on, go on.

Right, right.

As I was telling my dad the other night at dinner, I think
everyone needs to get more involved in campus politics.

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

You were having dinner with your dad?

Yeah, meatloaf.

Meatloaf?

Just how often do you eat with your parents?

All the time.

All the time?

Sure, I live with them.

He lives with them!

Wait, wait, I gotta get this straight.

You're a journalist major, right?

Yeah.

And you live at home?

Yeah.

And you eat meatloaf?

That's right.

We got a winner here!

We got a winner!

Any objections?

Yeah.

I could find somebody better than him.

Oh, well, be my guest.

Go ahead and try.

I'll be back.

You won.

You lucky dog.

Guys, I think I got this figured out.

What's to figure out?

Hey, hey, fellas, gather around here for a second.

All right, you know those parties where
everybody brings a homely girl,

and the guy wins the prize who brings the homeliest?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, this is one of those parties,
only we're the victims.

Wait a minute, that's impossible.

We're not homely.

We're cute, real cute.

I know I'm cute.

Yeah, so it's not a homely party.

It's a twerp party, or a nerd party, or a square party.

The only reason any of us are at this party
is because the she-devils think we're square.

Yeah, that's right.

Because we belong to chess club, because we belong to
chem club, because we happen to be wearing matching jackets.

Look at them, they're laughing at us.

You see that?

I don't think we ought to give them the satisfaction, huh?

Let's get out of here.

Come on.

Good idea.

Hey, what's that?

Maybe it's Big Bertha's lunch.

Wait a minute, what's this all about?

We came to town looking for a guy who crossed us.

And we just picked him up.

That's right, he jilted my kid's sister
and he broke her heart.

Now what am I telling you for?

It's none of your business.

What do you mean it's none of my business?

There's a man wriggling around in a sack here.

That's my business.

Now who is it?

Who's the guy?

Well, what's the story?

Oh, I don't know.

You won't believe this.

I was on my way home from basketball practice, right?

When these ten girls jumped on me,
I thought it was my lucky day.

You know what I mean?

All of a sudden, these crazies throw me in a sack.

Any of you guys ever been in a sack for three hours, huh?

Once.

I don't want to talk about it.

You dumped my kid sister, Rhonda.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute.

He didn't dump her.

Tell her, Chachi.

He wouldn't dump anyone.

Rhonda's your sister?

He dumped her.

All right, Chachi, I want you to
apologize, and let's get out of here.

Look, I'm really very sorry, okay?

I apologize.

That's good.

He said it.

Okay, come on, Chachi.

Yeah, let's go.

Come on.

Get out of this.

Guys!

Guys!

The chain can't sink!

Oh, come on.

Enough is enough.

Chaining a little boy's leg.

All right, the joke's over.

Where's the key?

Okay, give it to me.

Does that mean you're not going to give it to me?

Cute.

That's very, very cute.

Okay, give me the key.

Why don't you come and get it?

She's got the guts.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

No, we don't.

Meet him over here.

I'm sure they're only trying to scare you,
Chachi, all right?

They're not going to do anything to you.

Hey, girls.

Girls, you've had your fun, right?

I mean, how long are you going to keep the
kid chained to a sink?

Oh, just till 9 O'clock.

All right, you hear that?

Just till 9 O'clock.

Then we're going to take an electric razor
and we're going to shave your head.

We need another meeting.

Yes.

Rich, I love meetings.

I know.

Rich, can I confide in you?

I don't want to be bald!

Why don't we throw these three guys out?

So if we throw them out, they'll go get the kid's cousin.

Heard he's bad news.

His name's Fonzarelli.

Why didn't we think of that?

Hey, come on, come on.

We've got to come up with a solid plan.

Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, all right, I got it, I got it.

I'm going to climb out the bathroom window.

Yeah.

I'm going to go get Fonzie and tell him
about all this, all right?

Okay.

Don't let anything happen to Chachi no matter what you do.

Look, I thought we decided... I
decided we're not going to punch girls.

There's other ways to keep them preoccupied.

Dance with them.

I don't care.

Just think of something, all right?

All right, okay.

Keep going.

All right, all right.

Girls, girls, girls.

Hey, uh, hey, the night's going, huh?

What's going to happen next?

Oh, what are we waiting for?

Let's shave the kid now.

No, you can't.

I mean, you made a plan.

You said 9 O'clock.

Let's stick to it.

Let's stay organized.

Yeah, but there's nothing else to do.

Hey, hey, this is a party, right?

Uh, we haven't even been dancing.

Hey, put on the radio, huh?

Let's do some dancing.

What's that?

Hey, wait a minute.

I got a better idea.

What?

Why don't you two guys dance?

Yeah.

Put on the radio, Fern.

Wait a minute.

You mean us?

Yeah.

Together?

Yeah.

It's unnatural.

Okay, let's get on with it.

Let's shave his head.

Okay, guys, will you dance, please?

What do you mean?

Oh, sh**t.

What do you mean?

I leave.

You know, you're not bad.

Hey, boss, we're getting laughs.

Roll out the barrel, we'll have a barrel of fun.

Roll out the barrel, we've got the boots on the run.

Sing boom to barrel, we've got a song of good cheer.

Now's the time to roll the barrel, for the g*ng's all here.

Hey!

Are you having a good time, Arthur?

Am I having a good time?

I didn't know what a good time was till I got here.

Are you sure you're enjoying yourself, Artie?

Mr. C, this evening is zinging by.

I mean, it must be like 11 O'clock already.

It's a quarter to eight.

It's not even eight.

Richie likes to do this.

He just loves it.

He loves it.

You notice he's not here.

Now, what would you like to sing, Arthur?

Oh, I love every each and every one of these old songs.

Why doesn't Joanie just pick a winner?

Well, how about Silvery Moon?

Yeah.

Uh, yeah.

By the light of the silvery moon.

Pot!

Pot!

Richie!

Richie's here!

Richie!

Richie!

Pot!

Listen, I took your play slip.

I took your play slip right in there.

Do you know the lyrics to, uh, Silvery Moon?

Yes, I do.

Richie!

By the light of the silvery moon.

Wait, wait, go on, go on, go on, go on.

No, I gotta talk to you, Fonz.

Uh, in the kitchen.

He's gotta talk to me in the kitchen.

I'll be right back.

We're having fun.

No, wait.

Don't you dare start without me.

Oh, no.

I am going nuts-O.

Feels like I've been in there for a month.

I've been singing every old song ever written.

I'm trying this middle class fun.

I ain't getting it.

Wait, Fonz.

Fonz, the she-devil party.

Yeah, how is it?

Well, it's terrible.

It's a nerd party.

Yeah, who won?

It's not important.

You won.

It was close.

Yeah.

But that's not why I'm here, Fonz.

All right, all right.

Okay, you remember that Chachi was dating
a girl named Rhonda?

Yeah, a beautiful little red-headed girl.

Yeah, he dumped her.

Her older sister is a she-devil.

Say no more.

They got Chachi.

That's right.

They're going to shave his head at 9 O 'clock.

They never think of anything new.

Oh, look what I'm going to miss, milk and cookies later.

Yeah, Fonz, do you think we're going to
have to hit these girls?

The Fonz does not hit girls.

Just go there, stall them, I'll think of something.

Yeah, so how are you going to get Chachi
out without hitting?

I'll think of something.

I'll go in, I'll go out.

They'll never know I've been there.

Yeah, but Fonz, how are you going to do it?

Here's the plan, all right?

All right.

You're going to ask me questions.

You're going to ask me questions until
they shave Chachi's head.

Ah, yeah.



Got it.

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. C.

Joanie, I've got to go out for a little
bit, but we're having fun, right?

One, two, three.

By the light of a silver moon,
I want to feel my heart beat.

Oh, come on.

Please, just one little dip.

Hey, have you been here all this time?

Yeah, sure.

I was just getting ready to cut in.

Hey, she-devils, gather around.

It's nine O'clock.

It's time for this kid's haircut.

My hair's not going without a fight.

Short fight.

Guys, it looks like we're going to have to fight him.

Oh, fighting girls.

That's sinking pretty low.

Rich?

Rich, Potsie and I were just dancing with each other.

How much lower can we get?

Roger that.

Okay, Joy, give me the clippers.

Ha!

Why would you plug that in?

Not a chance.

You.

Come and get it, if you've got the guts.

This girl's got a lot of guts.

I'm telling you, you're just lucky this was an old shirt.

Guys?

Yeah, Rich?

It's a fight.

Okay.

Okay.

Here we go.

Hey!

I'm back.

Hey, just in time.

And I found the new winner.

The winner of the Nerd Contest.

Hey, we're getting ready to shave a head here.

You know, the contest was over an hour ago.

He won.

So far.

But wait till you see what I found
wandering around the parking lot.

An incredible twerp.

He was collecting snails.

Snails?

Hey, this could be worth a look.

Get him in here.

Cool it.

He's a little shy.

Artie.

Oh, Artie.

Will you come here a minute, please?

There are girls here!

Me?

It's okay.

The nice girls just want to say hello.

Hello!

Who is that guy?

You said Fonzie's coming.

That can't be him.

Of course it's him.

I think.

No.

Get in here!

Is this a party?

Did I miss the cake?

I have to calm down or I get a nosebleed.

And what were you doing wandering around our parking lot?

I was collecting snails with my snail mittens.

You know, I have a snail circus and I
needed two more performers.

This guy's pathetic.

Thank you very much for noticing.

Look at this.

Look at this.

There's a young guy here who's connected
to a sink with a chain.

Was he naughty?

Yeah.

Shame, shame on you.

We're gonna shave his head.

Oh, no!

I'm, oh!

I feel nauseous.

I have to, oh, I feel like I'm gonna fall on my snails.

I have to put some cool water on my forehead.

Vern, give her the money.

Hi, Mom.

Mommy always said that when I feel this
way, I should grab on to something,

you know what I mean?

Do I have to pay for this out of my milk, Mommy?

Oh, you little boy and your friends, could you help me?

Because I think I'm hurting myself severely.

Yeah, sure, sure.

Yeah, we got it.

Hey, girls, take a tip, okay?

If you got a chance, buy bonds.

That nerd just walked out of here with a kid.

We've been had.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

All right, stand back.

I'm going to kick it in.

You lock this in here.

All right, on the count of three.

One.

Two.

Three.

Fonzarelli.

Yeah, that's what it says on my library card.

You been in my back pocket?

No.

Anybody want to shave my head?

No.

Oh.

I'll give you something to do.

You write down 500 times, live and let live.

Can you dig it?

Yeah.

Just so that the evening is not a total
loss, I, too, had a nerd contest,

and you'll never guess who won.

Whoa.

My own fleshing blood, Chachi.

I can't believe that I'm standing here deeply ashamed.

You're right, Fonz.

I never should have let those girls kidnap me.

I'm not talking about those girls.

I'm talking about Rhonda, what you did to Rhonda.

Maybe you ought to carry this around for
the rest of your life.

Remind you what you did.

You know, like the purple letter.

That's Scarlet letter, Fonz.

Who cares?

So I dumped a girl.

Big deal.

You do it all the time.

I never, and I repeat, I never have dumped a girl.

It's a lowly thing to do.

Leave a girl sitting by the phone all
night waiting for you to call.

Makes me sick.

I agree.

Sorry, Fonz.

What was I supposed to do?

You're level with them right from the start.

Every girl goes out with me.

They know what to expect.

You treat a girl with tenderness,
with kindness, and with respect.

You treat all your girls like that?

Every last lovely one of them.

And it's a pleasure.

Makes me proud to be an American.

Yeah!

Gee, thought I'd give the world to see
That old girl Is a g*ng of mine I can't

forget that old quartet That sang sweet
Alibi Goodbye forever All the lads and

gals Goodbye forever All sweethearts and
pals Gee, thought I'd give the world to

see That old girl Is a g*ng of mine I
can't forget that old quartet That sang

sweet Alibi Goodbye forever All the lads and gals.