08x08 - If You Only Knew Rosa

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Blame it on the boss of Nova, with his magic spell.

Blame it on the boss of Nova.

Travis, you're the cook.

I am the boss.

Now, did you hear that?

He heard it.

All right, Clarence, that did it.

You're fired.

Take your panties and get out.

Now, what's with you today?

What's with me?

What's with you?

What?

Look at the way you're dressed.

I always dress this way, Al.

Well, I didn't.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you gave me this shirt for my birthday, remember?

Well, you shouldn't have taken it.

I just told Clarence to hit the road.

You know, you could be next to me.

Just shut up and shave out.

My lunch, you ought to toss it.

Uh, Fonz, Clarence isn't in there.

Clarence isn't in there.

Clarence isn't in there.

My lunch ain't in there.

That's right.

Who was going to explain that to my tummy?

I don't know, Fonzie.

I'm sure glad you're here.

Al's turned into a wild man.

What do you mean?

He's violent.

Oh, come on.

He's not violent.

He won't beat eggs.

I know.

I don't know what happened.

He went out for the mail this morning, and
when he came back, he turned into Godzilla.

The mail, huh?

Yeah.

All right.

All right, Al.

Come on, partner.

Show yourself.

Come here.

What do you want?

Oh.

Loaf it again?

Get back to work.

All right, Al.

All right.

Everybody wants a free ride.

I understand.

Let's go.

Move.

Thank you.

Benchy.

Spill it.

I'm just sick and tired of incompetence around here.

That's all.

What came in the mail, Al?

Nothing.

Don't lie to me.

Your nose will grow.

I don't need any of that.

All right.

Let's see what turned you from Jekyll to Hyde here.

All right.

There you go.

There's Sonny Boy.

Oh, it's for my mother.

No kidding.

He closes your weekly allowance.

She likes to do that.



It's going up to a dollar in June.

All right.

I'm sorry, Sonny, but no good news.

As you know, the 20 years is up.

Life has dealt you a dirty blow.

Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip.

Love, your mama.

Fonzie, you remember once I mentioned Rosa Coletti?

Once?

About a million times, Al.

Well, after she ran out on me, I
just said to myself, I said, I'll do it.

Al Delvecchio, you gotta be strong.

You can't waste the rest of your life
waiting for some woman to come back to you.

So I decided I'd give her 20 years and then forget her.

Al, you are a break.

Well, I moved from Kenosha to Milwaukee, so...
But meantime, my mother kept up the search for Rosa.

Oh.

Newspaper ads, private detectives, bloodhounds.

Well, tonight is 20 years.



I still haven't found her.

I'll never know what it was.

What it was that I did that was so upsetting.

Why did she leave me?

What did I do wrong?

I'll never know.

Al, I understand you're carrying around a very heavy heart.

A heavy heart.

And this?

This coin.

This is all I have.

Remember Rosa Coletti, bye.

You dated the woman on the dime?

No.

No.

No, Fonz, this was the dime I made the last phone call
to Rosa the night she went off with that Thai salesman.

Right.

Oh, there I was in this phone booth.

I put the dime in, no answer.

Out it came.

In, out, in, out.

Two hundred times.

Al, you're wallowing.

I think I'm going to take a last walk down along the river.

Hey, hey, hey, hold it, hold it, hold it.

You're not going next to any river.

I got a better idea.

Chachi, come over here.

Is our ran up here from, you know,
from Chicago, Aunt Teresa?

Yeah, she arrived last night.

This woman happens to be single,
though, you know what I mean?

She's looking.

You're going to have a great time.

You bet I'm in no condition to be alone with a woman.

That's right.

That's why you're going to double with Chachi and Joanie.

Come on, Fonz.

I don't want to double date with Al and Aunt Teresa.

That would be great.

Hey, Lori Beth.

Hi, Lori Beth.

How's the job coming along?

Oh, not great.

Not bad.

Richie's going to be so surprised that I'm
saving some money.

Waitress?

Oh, that's me.

Yeah, me too.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay.

Well, Al, what do you want to do after we eat?

Let's go to the amusement park.

He's cute.

We did that already, Al.

Did we have fun?

Loads.

How would you like to freshen up in the ladies' room?

Oh, I would love to.

We won't be long, guys.

Would you please talk to him, Chachi?

Thanks.

All right, Mr. Delvecchio, what's wrong with you?

My Aunt Teresa is a fun lady.

She's lively, she's bright, and you're
bringing her way down.

I'm sorry.

Oh, Chachi, I'm sorry.

I'll try to be nicer to your Aunt Teresa.

Teresa, Teresa.

If you forget anything, just read her out.

Teresa!

Here.

Oh, thank you.

Well, you won it.

Sit down, sit down.

Oh, he's right.

Well, Teresa?

How long have you been living where you
said you were living?

Oh, Chicago?

Chicago.

Over 20 years.

Wow.



You know, it was 20 years tonight that
Rosa Coletti went off with the Tysons.

Hey, Al, problem with the grill?

Sure, just when I was having fun.

Excuse me, Sarah.

Teresa!

Teresa.

Well, Aunt Teresa, isn't Al a fun guy?

Look, is this some kind of a joke?

The man is in love with another woman.

Uh, why don't we play some music?

Chachi, do you have a dime?

No, I spent all my change down at the amusement park.

Oh.

Oh, I know what.

Aunt Teresa, why don't you reach in Al's
jacket for some change?

You won't mind.

Okay.

Yeah, right in there.

That's it.

He has gift-wrapped his dime?

Look at that.

He has a dime.

He's a very tidy man.

Yeah.

Well, they don't even need me there.

I mean, it just takes two minutes, but
they always have got to give me that dime.

Somebody better have a good explanation for this.

Yes, I do.

You are a fruitcake.

I'm leaving.

I will see you at home, Chachi.

Yeah, bye.

Hey, good morning, Fonz.

What's with the white coat?

No, I had to take over for Clarence.

I've been here all night cheering up Belle.

Belle?

What do you hear?

What do you say?

You feeling better today?

I felt warm all night.

I should have slept on the grill.

Belle?

Belle, do it, Al.

Here's your mail.

Oh, thanks, Chachi.

I'm sorry about last night.

I just made a big fool out of myself.

Oh, come on, Al.

We all make mistakes.

Not all of us.

You know, but you're going to see the old Al back again.

Yes, sir.

Things are going right back to normal.

I'm sick of all that baloney.

Mr. Ray.

I've done it too long.

And it's ridiculous a man my age and my
place of life to do something like that.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Al.

Al.

Dear Sonny Boy, it's a miracle from heaven,
but after 20 years of searching, I found her.

You're finally going to see her.

You're finally going to see your true love, Rosa Colletti.

No.

She'll be at Arnold's next Saturday night, 8 O'clock.

Don't mess it up this time.

Enclosed, it's your next week's allowance early.

Yeah.

This is great.

Rosa Colletti's coming to see Al, and after
all these years, I can't wait to see her, Fonz.

You can't wait to see her.

I can't wait to see you either.

But Al should be happy.

Why are you running the kitchen?

You've got to understand.

Look, this is going to bring up very hurt feelings in him.

You know, he's afraid she's going to break
his little heart.

He's going to break his little heart.

Oh, wow.

Poor Al.

Yeah, well, and some men, you know, they get
strength in a crisis, and they meet the challenge, you know?

Rosa!

Al is not one of those guys.

There's trouble on the Ponderosa.

Something's bothering little Joe.

There's absolutely nothing bothering me.

He's upset because everyone calls him little Joe.

Little Joe is just... Little Joe!

See?

I'm not five years old anymore.

No, sir.

Look, I'm a big boy now.

A very big boy.

We should call him Big Boy Joe.

Now you're talking.

Watch Bonanza with Ben, Adam, Hoss, and Big Boy Joe.

That's what they call me.

Every afternoon at 1 on TV Land.

Shaq's back is hurting.

Don't know how he can play the second half.

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We'll need the huge one.

Must be the J.C.

Penney Huge Sale.

Save 20% to 50% store wide.

Shop 7 A.M.

for fantastic door busters and an extra 10% off till noon.

Where do you unwrap the magic?

It's all the inside.

J.C.

Penney.

I know.

How about Crazy Eats?

Nah.

Or we could watch this Princess Moon party.

Maybe a sleepover was a bad idea.

I'll be right back.

It's more than just that great peanut taste.

Jif is a simple little reminder of just how much mom cares.

Does your mom cut down the middle?

Or across?

Across.

So how's it going, girls?

We're doing great.

Great.

Moms like you choose Jif.

Johnny's not home yet, Jenny.

You're cooking dinner?

Mm-hmm.

Where's Mrs. Cunningham?

Well, she went off to visit her mother.

She's recuperating from a broken arm.

Mother Kelp broke her arm?

No, she broke somebody else's arm.

Some guy tried to grab her purse, so she broke his arm.

Mrs. C is there trying to calm her down.

What is this stuff?

This stuff is creamed chipped beef on toast.

It was my specialty in the Army.

That's why they called me Cookie Cunningham.

My dad told me about that once.

Isn't there another name?

Not in this house, Jenny.

Oh, hi, Jenny.

Hi, girls.

Hi, sweetheart.

You're just in time for dinner.

Oh.

Creamed chipped beef on toast.

Oh, you're not going to wear your helmet
again, are you, Dad?

You keep that up and you're going to be peeling potatoes.

Oh, no.

You want to stay?

Thanks anyway, Mr. C., but I have to be running along.

I have a date.

That's what I came to talk to you about, Jones.

With whom?

Who asks names.

See ya.

Okay, bye.

Bye, Cookie.

Oops, that's a big one.

Bye, Al.

Hi, hi, hi, hi.

What's wrong?

Aren't you feeling good?

Ah, not really.

I haven't eaten in two days.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Come on, everybody, line up for some
creamed chipped beef on toast.

No, thanks, Howard.

I'm trying to slim down before Rosa gets here.

Boy, I'd give anything to be in the same
kind of shape I was in 20 years ago.

Well, how much weight have you put on since then?

Five pounds.

Why, you look okay to me, Al.

Oh, thanks, Joanie.

But you see, Rosa remembers me as a sex symbol.

Really?

Yeah.

Before I put the five pounds on,
I looked just like Ricardo Montalbán.

Hi, folks.

I just got running, thought I'd drop in and say hi.

What's the matter, your car break down?

No, I run every day.

Why?

It's cardiovascular exercise.

And it takes weight off.

What are you doing?

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, look, look, he's running.

He's walking.

He's falling.

Mr. Dwayne, I wonder if you could put me
in the shape I was in 20 years ago.

That all depends.

Were you in lousy shape?

What can you do for this man in five days?

Five days?

It's going to take me that long to get
that guy in a pair of tights.

Now, look, this is very important.

Please, try and help him, huh?

Now, come on.

All right.

Take a measure.

Bring it around.

You and I, we're going to have to get started immediately.

All right.

Now, you are all mine for five days.

You will eat here.

You will sleep here.

You will exercise here.

You will pray here.

I hope he doesn't die here.

I would call a piece.

You called Alan home?

No, I didn't.

He must be on his way over here.

Wow.

How do I look?

Let me tell you something.

You look very dapper, and we're talking suede.

I got mustache, Al.

You know, it's so perfect, it hardly looks real.

It's not real.

It's eyebrow pencil.

I've been so nervous all week, my beard stopped growing.

You think she could tell it's a fake?

Yes.

Yes.

All right, here.

Yeah, hold it, hold it.

All right, moist.

Good, all right.

Okay, thanks, Ron.

Hey, I've got a bottle of wine chilling in the kitchen.

I'll go get it.

Great.

Hey, Al?

Yeah?

Kitchen is that way.

I'm so nervous.

Fonz, I just noticed something awful.

What's that?

Al hasn't seen Rosa in 20 years.

Right.



I mean, what if she's fat?

What if she turned ugly?

What if she's here already?

Oh, Fonz, it's worse than I thought.

She's hideous.

I get a load of that hat.

Close the window.

That's the cab driver.

Oh.

Fonz, she's coming in, Fonz.

I know, I know.

Rosa Coletti's here.

Calm yourself.

Calm yourself.

All right.

Please, no warts.

Mama Mia.

Is this what you want?

I'm sure Al Delvecchio works.

You got it.

Not only does he work here, he owns the place.

Let me introduce myself.

Arthur Fonzarelli.

My wonderful cousin, Chachi Arcola.

Nice to meet you.

Hi.

Your name?

I'm Rosa Coletti.

We knew that.

We knew that.

Just stand there.

All right, uh, Mr. Delvecchio.

Well, we gotta go.

Place is closed down.

Tight like a drum.

Dim the lights.

Yeah, very romantic.

Nobody will bother you.

Good.

Have a great day.

Nice to meet you.

A pleasure.

Nice to meet you.

Say bye.

It's good.

I love that man.

Yeah, Fonz?

Rosa?

El Fledo.

You're beautiful.

You're even more beautiful than I remembered.

Oh, thank you.

You look very well yourself.

You still look like Ricardo Mantelban.

Well, I take pretty good care of myself.

I go down to the gym, I work out.

It's been so long, Alfredo.





Has it been that long?

That's who keeps track.

Got wine.

Yeah, but that's not the only thing.

I put your favorite song in a jukebox this morning.

Oh, shall we?

Of course.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I haven't been using the cord for a minute.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank.

You.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Years.

Oh, 20 years.

What's wrong, Al?

I don't understand.

What happened?

That's what I want to know, Rosa.

What happened?

Sit down, please.

Sit, sit.

Come on.

Something's been just eating at me for 20 years.

I mean, what happened between us?

What did I do wrong?

Why did you leave me?

You did nothing wrong.

What?

Why'd you run off with that tie salesman?

See, it's just after a while, I feel like leaving.

You feel like leaving?

I didn't know you'd be so hurt.

When I left all the other men, they'd
always say, ah, there goes that wild Rosa.

But you, you spent the last 20 years
wondering what you did wrong.

Oh, listen, I'm supposed to be getting married next month.

It's to some guy in Oregon.

He's got lumber.

But I don't know if I'm going to go through with it.

I could come back to Milwaukee once in a
while, and we could relive some old memories.

Oh, what'd you say, huh?

Relive some old memories.

I've been doing that for 20 years, Rosa.

Reliving old memories.

I'm gonna tell you something.

I never said to another person in my life,
I deserve better than that.

All right, Al.

I'm not the girl for you.

I never was.

Oh, you do deserve better.

I'm glad we had one last dance.

Goodbye.

Rosa.

Hey, it was wonderful of you to come to see me.

Thank you very much.

You don't know what you did for me.

You took such a load off of my mind all these years.

I've carried this guilt.

You're terrific.

I love you.

I like you a lot.

Look at me.

I haven't felt this good in 20 years.

Goodbye,

Al.

Goodbye, Rosa.

Goodbye, Corbin.

Yeah.

Now what do you think?

You don't know what you did for me, do you?

No.

You don't know what you did for me?

No.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Oh, hi.

Teresa.

Oh, don't hang up.

This is Al Delvecchio.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm sorry about the other night, Teresa.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, how about a date?

Let me try to make it up to you, okay?

What do you say?

Going to Big Lots transformed me.

She's scaring me, man.

She thinks she's Santa.

Golly, it looks like a good night for a test run.

Claus.

Who's a big boy?

It started with the closeout prices on decorations.

You think the green or you think the poinsettia?

Remember those $12 Barbies for six bucks?

Yeah.

She cleaned them out.

I bought all of them.

It does put you in the holiday spirit.

Oh, boy.

So does that make me like Mrs. Claus?

Big Lots.

Brand names, closeout prices, happy people.

Where'd she get the sleigh?

I have no idea.

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Try two.

Things are a little different since I quit.

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Okay, now, Chachi, are you sure you're going
to be able to take care of everything by yourself?

I've got you covered, Al.

Hey, by the way, who are you going out with tonight?

Oh, I'm going to double date with Clarence.

Yeah?

It's going to be a big night.

We're going to m*dget wrestling.

His date is the favorite.

I got to tell you, Al, it's a good thing
that you hired Clarence back.

Well, I had to, Chachi.

Oh.

Oh, you should have seen him crawling in
on his hands and knees.

Al, that's how he always comes to work.

Hey, you guys.

Where'd you run over here?

Yeah, three miles.

Three miles in a leather jacket and boots?

I don't understand the Fonzarelli.

But you don't even work out.

Well, not in a traditional sense.

Well, excuse me, I've got to get going.

I've got to pick up my date.

All right, hold it, hold it, backhand.

No making it.

You're not making out when you're driving.

Get back here.

She does not put her arm around you when you're driving.

Get back here.

Is that enough money?

I'm a little bit tired.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing that can hold me when I hold you.

Next on The Brady Bunch, want to learn how
to build your own volcano?

Just get some chicken wire, mud,
and some highly trained prop guys,

and there you go.

It's episode number 77, Today I Am a Freshman.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.

Happy days.