03x02 - Robbie's Employment Service

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32 bucks last week.



That's a lot of moolah.

Yeah.

I'm supposed to be taking Marjorie to the dance concert.

Why not?

It's only six bucks a couple.

Are you and the phosphate boys going?

We'd like to.

Yeah.

I've got to get home and change.

I've got to get back to the wash rack.

They're waiting in line.

I've got the top down.

That'd be wonderful.

Goodbye, Robbie and Hank.

Oh, isn't it awful?

We hardly touched our ice cream.

Yeah.

How about that?

Bye.

Women.

We fill them up with L'Amour Tejers that a half a
bucket throw and they waltz off with a red convertible.

Yeah.

Car swabbing for a rotten 32 bucks a week.

Boy.

Hank, the only way we're going to impress
women is to make money.

Lots of money.

How are we going to do that, Rob?

Rob, we're going to have to start our own
business like George Hansen.

You mean we're going to wash cars?

No, that's exactly what I don't mean.

Well, what do you mean?

Well, I mean, what makes a big businessman big?

Does he wash cars himself?

No.

He's big because he uses his brain.

He's an organization man.

He doesn't need it here because he uses his brain here.

Yeah.

Hank.

I've got a great idea.

If it works, you and I are going to be rich.

Rich enough to take the girls to the jazz thing?

Absolutely.

Hank, we won't have to ask our dads for another dime.

Glad tidings, man.

A buck twenty-six.

Hank, Hank, why don't you settle it?

This idea of mine is so big, I don't want
to disturb my thinking.

Uh, Rob, I'm going to have to disturb half your thinking.

Dad, we'll put every kid in this town to work.

Mowing lawns, washing windows,
cleaning garages, pulling weeds, beating rugs.

And Hank and I will collect a third of
every buck they make.

Well, apparently you and Hank don't plan on
doing any of the actual work yourselves, huh?

Oh, of course not, Dad.

Well, I see.

Yeah, I'll be independent so you won't
have to give me any allowance.

Ha!

As we'd say in psychology, this young man
is going through a stage called fantasy.

Well, Air Force Reserve, ready or not?

Here I come.

So long, everybody.

So long, Marcus.

See you Monday.

So long.

Hey, Dad, if Robbie doesn't want his
allowance anymore, you can give it to me.

How do you big shots plan on financing this racket?

Oh, don't worry about the financing, Bub.

Hank and I are going to float a stock issue.

Dad, how many shares should I put you down for?

Well, I'm sorry, Rob, but I don't think I
can take out any more investments right now.

Maybe later.

Later we won't need it.

Bub, how about you?

How many shares?

Well, I'm sorry, too, Robbie, but I made a vow years ago.

I vowed never to buy any stock from a relative.

Oh, great.

Great.

Everybody's got such faith in the youth of America.

Hey, watch it.

You know, Bub, with determination like
that, Robbie's just liable to pull this thing off.

But I noticed you didn't buy any stock.

Hank, it's Robbie of Douglas and Ferguson.

Now, hear this.

Tomorrow, I want you to wear your good
suit, comb your hair, shine your shoes,

and put on a good tie.

Not the one with the mermaid painted on it.

Well, then, wear one of your father's.

I've got a backer lined up.

Gentlemen, I think the Ferguson-Douglas Employment
Service would fill a definite need in our community.

Sir, that's Douglas Ferguson.

Right.

Now, do you have some collateral?

Gee, I didn't bring any.

If you mean, Mr. Lieb, do we have any security to
give the bank in case we can't pay back the money?

Well, that isn't the kind of loan that we came to make.

Oh.

Well, the only other kind of loan would
require your father's as co-signers.

I'm sure you, as a banker, realize that
the future depends on the youth of today.


the decisions and shaping the destiny of our country.

The way we think then depends on how we are developed now.

And, well, if you bankers don't have faith in us,
well, then, yeah, what's going to become of the country?

Besides, it says in your radio commercial that all
we have to do to get money is to bring an honest face.

And we brought two of them.

Well, if that's what we said in our commercial, I
suppose we'll just have to live up to it, won't we?

I suppose you will.

Gentlemen, I'll take a chance.

It's a business deal.

I will treat you the same way we treat the
biggest corporation.

You take this to window 13.

They'll have you sign it and give you $50.

Due back in weekly payments with interest at 6%.

Mr. Lieb, you won't be sorry.

Our firm will be taking in a lot of money
and we'll put it right here in your bank.

You know how it is.

One hand washes the other.

I understand.

We're very grateful that you considered us
and we'll try to merit your confidence.

Thank you, Mr. Lieb.

Come on, Robert, get the loot.

Oh, uh, boys, just one last word.

I want you to do me a favor.

Don't tell the other kids where you got the money.

Okay.

Good morning, Douglas and Ferguson Employment Service.

Well, hello, Mrs. Frost.

How are you?

Glad to hear it.

Business is just great.

We're doing real fine.

Better than we ever hoped for.

The circular is really getting results.

Now, what can we do for you?

Ah, yes, yes, we have an expert in that.

He's, uh, majoring in agriculture.

Yes, thank you very much, Mr. Frost.

Goodbye.

Worms.

Okay, Gordon, quit the yo-yo bet and get
over to 324 Elm Street.

Mrs. Frost wants you to plant 200 angleworms for her.

Here are your worms.

Charge her a buck and a half for the worms.

Gee, they're getting more of the hire.

Good morning, Douglas and Ferguson.

Hello, Mrs. Edgerton.

Yes, ma'am, just like the circular says.

We'll send over one of our best men right away.

Fine.

I'm going out, so I'll pay him in advance.

Well, thank you, Mrs. Edgerton.

You can depend on us.

Goodbye.

Okay, Potts, important weed-pulling job at


East Palm Street?

That's three blocks from here.

Who's going to drive me?

Nobody.

You're going to walk.

Yeah, and remember, Potts, you're a worker, not a shirker.

Gee, three blocks and weed, yeah.

Hey, Lang, come on, wake up.

We don't sleep during office hours.

Hey, Rob, got a job for me?

The name, please.

You know me, Robbie.

I'm your little brother, Chip.

Oh, I'm sorry, this is a business office,
uh, no family stuff.

I need some money, Robbie.

Around here, I'm known as Mr. Douglas.

Besides, we don't hire minors.

Good morning, Douglas and Ferguson.

I want to earn for a new bicycle.

Well, hello, Mr. Garvey.

It's one of those 12-gear jobs.

Death is I don't need it.

I'm a busy man, now don't bother me.

Excuse me, Mr. Garvey.

Look, if you need money, be like me.

Go out and start your own business.

All right, I will.

Sorry, Mr. Garvey.

Just talking to one of our clients.

Now, what was the problem again?

Oh, yes, the grease stain's on the garage floor.

Been there over a year.

Sounds like a real tough job.

Hold on a second, sir.

Hey, any volunteers?

Yes, sir.

Hyde, I'm afraid you're a little too small for the job.

Hank, how about you?

What are you doing this afternoon?

Are you kidding?

I'm an executive.

Well, sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Garvey.

Just wanted to be sure we had the right man for you.

I'm going to send out a Tommy Hyde.

Very fine worker.

Good man, Hyde.

Very good.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Mr. Garvey.

So long.

Thank you, Mr. Douglas.

I don't care what it is, as long as it's work.

Go.

Man, there goes a real kook.

Five, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen and a half.

There it is, Hank.

Net profit of... Fourteen and a half dollars in two days.

Boy, that's what I call big business.

You said it.

Man, four O'clock.

Let's knock on it.

What can we do for you, sir?

You boys, Douglas and Ferguson?

I'm Ferguson.

He's Douglas.

J.C.

Dalvin, city license commissioner.

I don't see your license.

What do you mean, a license, sir?

Boys, anyone doing business in the city is required
to have a license, according to Ordinance 346B.

Violators are subject to a $100 fine.

A fine?

Gee, we never heard of that.

Of course, I wouldn't want to give you boys a citation.

However, ignorance of the law is no valid excuse.

We know that, don't we?

Oh, we do now.

How much is the license, sir?

$12.

Oh, we got more than that.

Oh.

Yeah, here's $12.

We don't want to be in trouble with the city.

All right.

Your license will be sent to you by mail.

In the meantime, you have a duly licensed
place of business.

Here's your receipt.

Thank you.

We're very grateful.

Thank you.

Boy, City Hall really eclipsed us.

But we're still ahead of the game.

Let's put the money in the safe, huh?

No, let's divide up the profits now, okay?

One for you and one for me.

What about the four bids?

Oh, we'll plow that right back into business.

Douglas from Ferguson.

Douglas speaking.

Mr. Douglas, this is Mrs. Edgerton.

I am very unhappy about that weed-pulling job.

Oh, Mrs. Edgerton, let's see, that was, uh,
that was Norman Potts we had out on that job.

He's one of our most reliable men.

All that boy did was pull the tops off the weed.

Mrs. Edgerton, a Douglas in Ferguson
guarantees complete satisfaction.

Our motto is no goofing off.

We'll send Mr. Potts back there first thing in the morning.

I don't want Mr. Potts again.

I want the job done right.

Boy, women.

What do they know about big business?

If you finish here, we'll go around to the back.

It's even worse there.

Hi, Mr. Ferguson.

Hi, Mr. Douglas.

What you doing?

What does it look like?

How come you're pulling me?

I thought you were a big executive.

You'd get lost, would you?

I got a business, too.

Except it's nothing stupid like that.

Scoot along, young man.

The boys have a lot of work to do.

Is it 7.15 yet?

When you hear the tone, it will be exactly 7.15.

Right on time.

Who's on time?

Miss Duffield.

Good evening.

Good evening, Chip.

This is Malcolm.

Hi, Malcolm.

Don't worry about a thing.

We'll take good care of him.

Hello, Miss Duffield.

Good evening.

Do you mean, I think this is a wonderful
idea Chip has, starting this babysitting service.

Don't you, Mr. Douglas?

Babysitting?

Yeah, yes, yes, of course.

You'll be a good boy, Malcolm.

I must run.

Mr. Duffield's waiting in the car.

Oh, we might be out quite late.

Take your time, Miss Duffield.

There's always somebody up in our house.

Come on, Malcolm.

You can play in the evening, please.

Chip, who's this young fella?

Chip, what is this babysitting service?

Babysitting?

Looks like we've got another businessman.

Why didn't you tell us, Chip?

Well, you didn't ask me.

Look, when you go to bed, one of us is going...

Don't you see it isn't fair to your family?

Well, if he was dead, I'd have to make the money some way.

Robbie wouldn't give me a job,
and he told me to get my own business.

So I did.

All right, Chip.

It's all right this once, but no more
babysitting in this house, okay?

No guess.

Good evening, Miss Collins.

Hi, Chip.

Oh, Chip Douglas' babysitting service.

Oh, Janet.

Come on, we can go play chess.

Hello, Miss Collins.

You certainly have a fine, enterprising boy, Mr. Douglas.

He's going to go places.

Any minute now.

Thanks, Miss Collins.

A couple of the boys do seem to have an
overdeveloped business instinct.

We might not pick Janet up until after midnight.

Oh, don't worry about a thing.

There's always somebody up around our house.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Well, I'm getting out of here.

I'll see you all later.

Much later.

Walk right in.

There's plenty of seats in the balcony.

Hi, Mr. Randall.

Hi, Wilma.

Come on, we can go watch and play chess.

I wouldn't think of leaving Wilma here all evening
if you two older men weren't going to be at home.

Oh, I hope none of those other children have the sniffles.

Wilma is very susceptible.

Well, we'll find a private room for her.

Well, now about the money.

Do I pay you or do I pay the young man?

Well... Pay me.

Search yourself an ounce.

All right.

Thank you.

Good night, Mr. Douglas.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

High.

School.

You don't call that a business.

You didn't even have any overhead.

What's overhead?

Like rent.

You didn't pay any rent.

Why should I pay rent?

I live here.

What about your hired help?

What did you pay Dad and Bub?

They did all the work.

I offered them 25 cents, but they turned me down.

You don't have to shake that thing.

I know you made $11.

That's, that's petty cash in our business.

Oh, yeah?

How much did you and Hank make?

That's a business secret.

If I told you, you'd blab it all
around, and then pretty soon

every kid in town would be wanting to borrow money from me.

Uh, Chip, what are you going to do with that money?

What do you want to know for?

Well, in my business, I hear of some deals
where a fella can make a lot of dough.

Maybe I might hear about something where
you can double your money.

Really?

Mm-hmm.

Boy, Ron, that's great.

If I double my money, I can make a down
payment on my new 12-gear bike.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I'm late, Ron.

Van Buren Street's flooded.

Boy, four days of rain, and.

If it ever stops raining.

Well, the news hanging around here.

Hey, let's call Joe and Betty and go bowling.

On what?

The phone company's going to want their...

Bill paid or else.

The light company's going to be wanting
their bill paid or else.

For that kind of life?

We should have gone to the light and fire business, Rob.

Hello, boys.

Remember me?

Enoch Lee, Commonwealth Bank.

Hi, Mr. Lee.

Glad to see you.

Have a seat.

Why, thank you.

Over here.

Well, I just thought I'd stop by and say hello.

Wondered how you were doing.

Ha, terrible.

This rain is m*rder.

We should have called Betty and Joe and take them bowling.

He's just kidding, Mr. Lee.

We're in great shape.

How are things at the bank?

Oh, thank you.

Oh, fine.

Good, then.

That means there'll be no rush to pay our note back.

No rush?

Just the usual time.

Monday, isn't it?

Well, Mr. Lee, we might be a couple of days late.

With all this rain, our assets are kind of tied up.

Oh, yeah.

Robbie, let me tell you something.

As a friend, a poor credit rating can
hound you all your life.

Now, I strongly urge you to make that payment.

Right on time.

I'm sure you're going to do it.

Well, you know this weather's bound to change.

Well, I'll see you Monday.

Okay, sir.

See you Monday, sir.

Thanks for dropping by.

All right.

Good day, gentlemen.

Good day.

Thanks, Chip.

Oh, gee, sure had confidence in us, huh?

Yeah, I wonder if we oversold it.

Did you raise half the dough?

Oh, gee, Rob, all I got was 1913 nickel.

We need dollars, not nickels.

Yeah, but this is a 1913 Buffalo,
variety 2, San Francisco mint.

I paid three bucks when I was nine.

It's worth at least ten now.

Oh, good thinking.

Sell it.

Where are you going to get your half, Rob?

Well, don't worry about me.

I've got connections.

What's the matter, Chip?

Don't you trust your own brother?

No, and besides, that's my bike money.

Bike money?

Think big.

You're going to double your money.

Sounds good, but I don't know.

Oh.

Uh, Chip, uh, you know, I've been thinking.

If our business continues to increase,
uh, I might just take you in as a partner.

We call it Douglas, Ferguson, and Douglas.

Which Douglas would I be?

The one on the end.

You don't expect to be the front one with
this kind of money, do you?

Well, stop it meeting.

Hey, Dad, Robbie's going to double my money.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, and it's going to be Douglas and
Ferguson and Douglas.

Well, sit down, Rob.

Let's talk about it.

What's the deal?

Well, it's like this, Dad.

You know, all that rain slowed us down a
little bit, and the guys that got working

for us, they've been kind of goofing off,
and that hurts the income, you know.

Oh, sure.

Yeah, and in a business, if you don't
have enough volume, well... Well, what?

Well, you wouldn't want to ruin the family
credit rating, would you, Dad?

A thing like that can hound you all your life.

All your life?

You think it's a good investment for me, Dad?

Well, of course, Dad.

How can I lose?

I've got big plans.

Well, Chip, in the first place,
Rob isn't going to double your money.

Why not?

Because he's dissolving his partnership with Hank.

But, Dad, we've got an office and an
overhead and everything.

Not anymore, you haven't.

Not if you want me to okay Chip's loan.

Well, how's he going to pay me back if he
doesn't have an office and overhead?

Well, Chip, Robbie is about to join the
nation's working force.

But, Dad, the whole idea was that we were
going to be the organization.

I know.

The brains.

I know.

And I'm proud of the effort you made.

But I think it would have been wiser for
you to start at the bottom, don't you?

Yeah, I started at the bottom and wound up with a bundle.

Everything agreed, Rob?

Yeah.

Okay, Dad.

All right, Chip, you can lend him the money.

That's 6% interest.

Sam!

You heard your father.

Oh, what a jerk.

I'll get it.

Oh, hello, Mr. Duffield.

Hello, Mr. Douglas.

I'd like to leave Malcolm with Chip's babysitting service.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Duffield, but Chip
isn't babysitting anymore.

He has a new business.

Oh, what's he doing now?

He's a loan shark.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.