03x11 - Heat Wave

[bunniefuu]

Are folks going out tonight?

Dinner too?

Hey, Mike, you got any paper?

Who makes roast on a day like this?

A fool, that's who.

What do you want now?

Are you sure there's no more paper around?

Hey, Bub, what time is dinner?



Not before and not after.



We've only got 13 feet.

Or maybe 11.

The Cub Scouts told us to get 16.

Well, ask me again about next January.

And then we could make a nice, cool
pitcher of lemonade and take it outside.

Backyard ought to be cooled off by then.

Well, we could even take the record player outside.

How are you supposed to know if the iron's
hot when the air's even hotter?

Hey, Robbie!

Robbie!

What do you want?

Daddy!

Paper in the shower?

What are you, some kind of a nut or something?

You will?

Oh, great.

Well, I'll see you later then, huh?

Okay, bye-bye.

What do you know about that?

Bub, I just got myself a date with Janie Stemple.

Well, glory be.

You don't know what a campaign this has been.

Finally convinced her to come over for dinner tonight.

Oh, that is okay, isn't it, Bub?

Well, I'm glad you asked me that question.

And keep your paws off of that.

I spent the whole day in the heat washing it.

All I want is this one.

One shirt, Bub, the cool one for tonight.

Now, listen, Charlie, no shirts on a hot day like this.

Oh, Bub, I've got to get dressed up for Janie.

This is first impression.

All right, all right.

Iron this, wash that, clean this.

Five extra for dinner.

Oh, no, it's not five.

It's just one.

She couldn't eat that much.

Now, careful with the collar.

All right.

Here you are.

I'll have Chip get dinner, let Robbie do the
dining, and I'll go out and sit under a nice cool tree.

Hey, Mike, have you seen any papers?

No, I haven't seen any papers,
and I'm not gonna see any papers,

and I don't want you to stay in here.

No!

No!

See what you did?

Now, will you get out of here?

Like Sudsy says, it must be a lot.

Huh?

There's water up there.

Boy, I don't want to grow up, at least not on a hot day.

It's gotta be crazy to grow up in this heat.

Yeah.

How much we got?

I don't know.

There's something wrong with this ruler.

Every time I add it up, I get a different number.

It's okay.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Chipper.

Hey, uh, how am I supposed to get my car in the garage?

Oh, we're collecting papers for the Cub Scout paper drive.

Mrs. Fletcher's come by later with the truck.

Oh, okay.

It's okay?

No, what else?

Oh, I mean, you're so tall in the heat.

It must be real bad up there.

And everybody else is... I know what you mean, Chipper.

Hey, can I have that paper?

No, no, I just picked it up.

I haven't even looked at it.

You can have it when I get through with you, huh?

Thanks.

Hey, brother, stop it.

Rock, Mike, Mike, cut it out.

Cut it out, tr*mp, get out.

Dad, Jeannie, Dad.

Jeannie's temple's coming over for dinner.

Oh, so naturally you want to beat him up, huh?

No, he's quite my only good queen shirt.

What do you mean?

It was in my pocket.

Now, listen, stop it, just stop it.

See, Dad?

Everybody's like that today.

I know, but you can cool off, both of you.

Well, what am I supposed to do without a shirt?

No, Jeannie's going to be here.

I'll take care of it.

Robbie, take off Mike's shirt.

But Dad, he's got me in a clean shirt.

Take it off.

It's too big for you anyway.

It's very easy to lose your tempers on a day like this.

Oh, thanks, O'Neill.

Wait a minute.

Just ask Bub if he'll iron it again,
and then everything will be all right.

Oh, I'd fight a mongoose barehanded, but
I'm not Manning up to face Bub again today.

Bub, too.

Deep reaction?

Yeah.

You know, I wish you fellas had learned to
handle problems coolly and calmly.

I'll ask Bub if you'll allow me.

Bub?

Bub?

What's on fire?

The dinner.

The roast!

Oh, boy, just in time.

Well, I'd say it's a little after just in time.

Oh, he's outside sitting under a tree.

Bub?

Somebody call me?

Yeah, Bub, we just took your roast out of the oven.

It was burning.

Oh, don't tell me.

I turned that job over to Chip.

Oh, Bob, I told you.

Janie Stemple's coming over to dinner.

What if she doesn't like it well done?

Dad, you don't know how important this is to me.

I know.

I know.

Bob, look, if you'll just iron this one more shirt,
you can have Thursdays and every other Sunday off.

Okay, okay.

One more shirt.

Janie Stemple is coming over to dinner.

Ride heard on three hyenas.

A woman's day is never done around here.

Well, the heat is getting to my woman.

Yeah.

Oh, and Dad, will you make the children
behave during dinner tonight?

Children?

Well, who is it that steers cow out of the girl?

And recites poetry and practically faints
every time she blinks.

Not me.

Now, Robbie, I'm going to tell
you what... Just take it easy, Mike.

We will all strive to do our best to make
you extremely proud of your family.

Hey, Dad, can I have this old envelope?

For your paper drive?

Yeah.

Chip, this old envelope happens to contain
a very complicated estimate for a sealed

bid on a million-dollar contract, so the answer is no.

Oh, incidentally, a very important client,
Mr. Gibson, is coming by tonight to go

over this estimate with me, and while he is here, I'd
appreciate it if you fellas could hold it down to a minimum.

Okay.

All right.

Boy, it's hot.

You make a noise with your suit tonight,
and I'll strangle you.

In my g*ng, if a girl looks like Janie Stumple,
we make her wear a paper bag over her head.

I'm warning you.

Rob?

Have you got any of those paper bags you
put over Janie Stumple's head?

I'm warning you.

I guess you gotta be grown up to understand.

Hi, Janie.

Hello, Mike.

It was very sweet of you to invite me.

I was all alone in that big gloomy house.

Well, you won't be alone here.

The place is swarming.

I've been looking forward to meeting your family.

How can you stand to wear a jacket on a day like this?

Oh, uh, we always dress for dinner.

Family lets down, it goes to pieces.

Okay, Danny, here we go.

Okay.

Relax.

It with a roast, Janie.

I hope you liked your meat.

Very well done.

Very, very well done.

It was very good, Mr. Douglas.

I enjoyed it.

Thank you, Bub.

Bub?

There I go again, serving from the right.

I did the same thing with the asparagus.

Whatever am I thinking?

You know, I was reading in the paper today that
this is the hottest summer we've had since 1880.



Yeah, look at the candles.

They seem to be noticing the heat, don't they, Chip?

Uh, Janie, Dad and I were just saying the
other day that it was a good thing that.

Adler broke away from Freud, you know,
and formed a more rational school.

Of course, I lean more toward Jung.

Me too.

Adler couldn't hit his hat.

Dr. Adler, the founder of one school of
psychiatric thought.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I thought you were talking about Irving Adler.

He used to play second base for the old Giants.

The old, old Giants.

Yes, I know.

Dad?

Yes, Chip?

Can I put the ice cream on my head?

I'm dying.

Well, I'm sure it'd be very cooling, Chip, but I
think you'd better just eat it like the rest of us, huh?

Jenny, do you have any younger brothers?

No, I'm afraid not, Mr. Doug.

I know where I can get you a couple, cheap.

Dad?

Yes, Chip?

Can I take off this overcoat?

Well, no, I think... Don't tell me
you're wearing coats because of me.

Well... Oh, no, I was wondering
why all the coats and the hot candles.

Please, take them off.

Well, thank you, Jenny.

Why don't we tell us?

Mike, you might as well get some... It's okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's better.

Oh, my gosh, it's Miss Fletcher.

Oh, she's here with the truck to pick up the papers, huh?

Yeah.

I'd better get the station wagon out of
the driveway so she can back in.

And, Chip, I got some old papers together for you.

They're up in my bedroom on the table.

Now, you might as well get those, too.

Excuse us, Jenny.

Come on, Mike, let's go help load the truck.

Okay, fine.

Oh, here, Chip, what about in this pile here?

Just tying it up.

There.

Well, I guess that about does it, Mrs. Fletcher.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Thanks, Mr. Douglas.

You're welcome.

Mike, why don't you and Janie have your
ice cream out in the backyard?

I think it'll be a lot cooler out there.

Oh, yeah.

Fred, I'm going to have to skip mine.

I have an appointment with Mr. Gibson.

He's due by here any minute, so if you'll excuse me, Janie.

Of course.

It was a pleasure meeting all the Douglases.

Even with candlelight and coke.

Thanks, Janie.

Hey, Robbie, would you really put a paper
bag over Janie Stemple's head?

Yeah, she's kind of pretty at that.

Chip!

Chip!

What's the matter?

What's happened?

What's the matter, Chip?

Listen to me carefully now.

Do you remember that big gray envelope I
brought home this afternoon?

Yeah.

Well, I left it up on my drawing table in my room.

Now, when you went up to get those old
papers, did you take anything off my drawing table?

Just the newspaper.

Oh, it must have been under there.

Where were they taking those papers they had in the truck?

To the grocery store parking lot.

That's where they're collecting all the stuff.

Grocery store parking lot?

Boy, are you in trouble.

Trouble?

All my drawings, all my estimates,
all my notes, they're out there someplace,

part of a paper drive.

And how did you get a copy or something?

Copy?

There are no copies.

I've been working on those estimates for two weeks now.

Gibson was coming over, and we were going
over them tonight, and then put them in the mail.

They have to be in the mail by midnight tonight,
and if they aren't, you know what will happen?

We lose a million-dollar contract.

Now, how am I going to tell them I donated
them to the Cub Scout paper drive?

Now, Steve, like you told us, cool down, relax, will you?

How can I relax, Bub?

He's going to be here in a minute.

Just get ready to meet Mr. Gibson.

We'll find the papers.

How are you going to find them, Bub?

Do what I tell you.

Don't stand here.

I'm going to go ahead.

Now, you all know what you've got to do.

Where's Chip?

Little monster took off just when we needed him.

Well, then go on over to that grocery
store parking lot without him.

Okay.

I'm going to have to go with him, Janie.

Well, can I help?

Well, yeah.

If you want to, you can.

Well, let's take my car.

Okay.

Rob, come on.

Buck, that's Mr. Gibson.

Let him ring again.

Look, I can't answer the door.

What am I going to tell him?

I'll do it.

Tommy.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Yes, Mr. Douglas, so am I.

Milton Gibson.

Who?

Gibson.

Oh, I'm Steve's father-in-law, William O'Casey.

Come in.

Thank you.

Oh, Steve.

Yes, yes, Bob.

Were you expecting a man named Gibson?

Yes, I was.

Well, he's here.

A needle in a haystack, it'd be a cinch.

Well, hello, Mr. Gibson.

I was just doing a little last-minute work
on the estimates upstairs.

Nice to see you.

Douglas, this is a big deal for us.

Yes, yes, it certainly is.

I wouldn't ask a dog to work on a night like this, but we
engineers, I guess deadlines don't look at the thermometer.

I must remember that.

Deadlines don't look at the thermometer.

What would you like to drink, Mr. Gibson?

Oh, nothing, thank you.

We don't have too much time.

Oh.

Well, we certainly don't, Bob.

You see, it's a big million-dollar
contract we're negotiating for.

Mr. Gibson's company.

Boy, how do you like that?

A million-dollar contract.

Well, a million dollars here and a million there.

Sure adds up, don't it?

Yes.

If you just get those figures together,
where are we going to work?

Well, Mr. Gibson, I thought maybe we'd
work right here in the living room.

Why don't you take your coat off, Mr. Gibson?

I'll take these.

Oh, thank you.

Then we'll have a nice cool glass of
lemonade and a few yoga exercises.

Yoga exercises?

Well, Bob used to be in Vaudeville.

He likes his little jokes.

Oh.

I guess a lemonade would be nice if it's ready.

Well, good.

Just relax then, and I'll get the tall glass of cool
lemonade, and you can do your business in there.

Well, come in and sit down, Skipson.

It's going to take time to go over those figures, Douglas.

Oh, I don't think we have any problem.

I have my figures pretty well organized.

Why don't you sit right down there?

Thank you.

It's just a matter of getting the papers
together, that's all.

I give up.

I positively give up.

We're both wasting time.

Now, look, we know the truckload was delivered
within an hour, so it must be at the top of the bales.

Now, come on, start cutting.

Come on.

Well, here comes Bub with the lemonade.

Thank you, Bub.

Well, this should hit the spot.

Well, I hope it does.

You know, talking about the old days
reminds me of the Orpheum time.

He means this vaudeville, basically.

We had an act in vaudeville called Gibson and Werner.

I think it was a knockabout act.

Songs and nonsense.

Any relation?

No, not that I know of.

We could be going through some notes while
we're... He was a tall, skinny fellow with a putty nose.

None of my relatives had putty noses.

Douglas.

I'll plot that for a comeback, Steve.

Did you ever write material for comics?

No.

O'Casey.

O'Casey, I'm sorry.

Never mind, it's a simple mistake.

Let me tell you some more about Gibson and Werner.

Hey, you, cut that out!

Look, my father's lost some very important papers,
technical papers, and they're in here someplace.

Well, who's going to clean out that mess?

We will, as soon as we find the papers, sir.

No, no, you've got to get out.

How?

Oh, please, sir, the papers are very important.

I'm sure you would like to help us,
a big, strong man like you.

Oh.

Well, that's the way it is.

And there's Gibson, putty nose and all,
lying in the middle of the stage.

And every time he tries to get up the
little fella, that's Werner, hits him with

the bladder, pow, and down goes Gibson again.

Exactly.

Unless we get to those drawings.

Douglas, sometimes minutes can make all the difference.

You're so right, especially in Vaudeville.

You've got about 20 minutes to knock him dead.

And if you don't do it in that time, you get the hook.

That's right, the hook.

Are you sure it's in here?

Yes, somewhere.

Hey, look at this.

Little orphan Annie's really in trouble.

Well, let's face it, Mike.

It would take a week for the four of us to find anything.

Chip had the right idea.

Get lost.

Look, we can't let Dad down just because Chip's a monster.

He had one of the best comedy acts involved.

How about some more lemonade?

It's early yet, you know.

It's not nearly as early as you seem to think, Mr. O'Casey.

Douglas, I haven't seen one note or figure.

I haven't even looked at a drawing.

Oh, I realize that, Mr. Gibson, but...
Then will you please get your papers?

Yes, Steve, why don't you go up and get the papers?

I guess maybe it is time we got down to business, huh?

Yes, it certainly is.

I'll take it easy going up those stairs on
a hot night like this.

Yes.

And speaking of hot weather, we were
playing one night in Oak Mulchie.

Oak Mulchie?

Oak Mulchie, yes.

It was late in August and the weather was...

Mr. O'Casey, I promised to return some
evening and listen to your anecdotes.

Just now, I'm a hot and worried man.

I'm sure you'll excuse me.

Certainly, sir.

Certainly.

I was just looking for my grandsons.

And I'll come back some night and listen
to your stories about your grandsons.

I hope you do.

Now, who would give this to a paper drive?

It doesn't even weigh nothing.

It looks like...

I'm going in and tell him.

Wait.

Well, I guess that about wraps it up.

Yes.

I just have to put the address on it and drop
it in the mailbox and keep our fingers crossed.

Douglas, I admire you.

You seem to have everything so well organized.

And under control.

Oh, yes.

Well, thank you, Mr. Gibson.

I'm afraid I owe you an apology.

I'm sorry I seem so on edge and panicky.

Oh, now, don't apologize, please.

I understand how you felt.

We all have our good days and our bad days.

Look, up in the sky.

It's a bird.

It's a plane.

It's not civilized.

It's not Superman.

It's My Favorite Martian.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning on TV Land.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning on TV Land.