03x27 - First Things First

[bunniefuu]

I.

Think her name was Eleanor.

Or maybe like this, with this down in front of here.

Or maybe down to the side, tilted like that.

Maybe all the way down.

Pretty good.

I guess the guys would just give me the horse laugh.

Not just the guys, me.

Man, why wasn't I born older?

Oh, that's why you're wearing my hat.

You think it might make you look older, hmm?

Well, I knew it didn't, but I was kind of hoping.

Who's making you feel too young?

Oh, Ingrid Smith.

She's a girl.

Thank you.

How much older is Ingrid than you are?

She's just my age.

And that makes you too young?

Well, you know how girls are, Dad.

Well, I'm learning.

All girls go for older guys.

But once Ingrid had a date with a guy that was 20.

Oh.

Rob, are you sure you can cope with all
this sophistication?

Oh, heck yeah, Dad.

I've just got to figure out a way to make
her think I'm older.

Well, look, is Ingrid in the same class as
you are at school?

Yeah.

Well, then she knows you're at least as old as she is.

Well, but how does she know I didn't flunk
to her three years?

Well, you've got a point there.

Apparently, Ingrid doesn't care how stupid
they are as long as they're older than she is.

Maybe he ought to introduce her to me.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Mike.

Chip and I were looking for you today.

Oh?

We were out at the air base.

Oh, well, I'm not scheduled to be there until next weekend.

No.

Your squadron was on some sort of special maneuver.

Oh, yeah.

They had an exercise.

Our squadron has a pretty sharp operation, huh?

Well, apparently, they weren't too sharp today, Mike.

They had a mechanical abort.

Sergeant McCollum said it's the first one
they've had in 85 missions.

A mechanical failure?

Yeah.

Wow.

I bet McCollum was really steaming, huh?

Well, he wasn't too happy about it.

You, uh, talked to him, huh?

Yes, I was asking him about you.

Gee, we were really proud of that record.

Regulars never topped it.

You, uh, were tied up today, hmm?

No.

No, I was just goofing around with the guys.

Did McCollum say I should have been there?

No, as a matter of fact, he was very complimentary.

He was telling me how much he depended on you.

Well, Dad, this thing today, it was optional.

I mean, it wasn't anything I had to do.

Mike, you don't have to defend yourself.

The sergeant told me the men who were
there had volunteered.

And you wondered why I didn't volunteer, too.

I really hadn't thought too much about it, Mike.

Well, anyway, how many guys were working with him?

I think there were four.

Okay, so I'm the only one of the crew who wasn't there.

Does that make it some sort of a crime or something?

No, of course not.

As I said, the sergeant didn't... Since I've been in the

reserves, you know how many of
these volunteer things I've missed?

One.

Exactly one.

Well, that's a very good record, Mike.

Everybody's got a right to goof off once in a while.

Other guys do it, and nobody makes a
federal case out of it.

Besides, one guy doesn't make that much difference anyway.

So I wasn't there, and the squadron just happened
to have its first mechanical abort in 85 missions.

Well, it certainly isn't fair to blame me.

Sorry.

About last week, Sarge.

Last week?

Yeah, the mechanical abort.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we had a problem with the fuel mixer control valve.

We're not going to make that mistake again.

Fetterman here is going to be personally
responsible, right?

Right, Sarge.

But I've been checking the carburetion system, Sarge.

There's no reason you should be stuck with
so much responsibility.

That's right.

He.

Seems to be the right guy.

And that kid brother of yours, I bet he's a real p*stol.

Yeah.

Who's Sarge?

Why should we be Sarge?

Who are you?

We're the ones that goof.

We'll see how much you've learned when we
have that next special manure.

When will that be, Sarge?

That's in two weeks, Saturday and Sunday,
the 23rd and 24th.

You can count on me.

Hmm?

I'm volunteering for the 23rd and 24th.

You want to wait until later to make up
your mind in case... My mind is made up.

Now, if something else comes up that you'd
rather do... Nothing's going to come up, Sarge.

I'm going to be here.

I want to be here, and nothing or nobody's
going to keep me from being here.

Okay?

Okay.

I'll get up there, Douglas, and check out
the carburation system.

Yes, sir.

Hey.

BH1.

Save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Save you 15% or more on car insurance.

Hear what Pepton Phonics.

A chunky is so much for a ram.

Hi, Bert.

Uh, give me five of your largest gallons.

Right.

Say, I was just talking with somebody about you.

Eh, who's that?

Melissa Cartwright.

Aw, you're giving me the business.

No.

She comes in here all the time.

She knows I'm a friend of yours, and I think
she is going to invite you to the Junior Guild Ball.

Did she say that?

Well, she didn't come right out to say it, but
the way she was talking, I bet that's what it is.

Boy, Melissa Cartwright can have her
choice of any guy on campus.

Why me?

Well, the girl has one big fault.

No taste.

I've been dying to ask her for a date,
but it kept chickening out.

Check the oil?

Never use it.

This really is your lucky day.

Look.

What's Green Star for?

Just came up on the cash register.

That means you win two free baseball
tickets to the next home game.

Should be a great one.

Here.

Hey, how about that?

I'll listen to Melissa Cartwright, too.

Well, thanks a lot, Bert.

Bert?

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Mike.

How are things out at the base?

Oh, fine.

Everything's all squared away.

I've already volunteered for the next special maneuver.

Well, good for you.

Yeah, this one's a two-day exercise, the 23rd and 24th.

How is everything else going?

Oh, couldn't be better.

The best-looking girl in school's on my trail,
and I just won two tickets to the next home game.

Well, lucky you.

They ought to be playing for first place about that.

Yeah, and get a load of these seats.

Hey, how about that?

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

The game's on the 23rd.

I'll be out at the base on that maneuver.

Oh, that's too bad, Mike.

Well, first things first.

Here, you may as well use them.

You're sure?

Oh, it's going to take more than a baseball
game to make me miss another maneuver.

Well, you know, it's very satisfying to raise a boy to have

a conscience and have it
finally pay off in baseball tickets.

Thanks a lot, Mike.

Oh, that's okay.

Thank you.

Yeah, but what kills me is that you thought I was.

And there we were, two unapproachable
people, nobody approaching.

You've got a terrific sense of humor.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

It's really easy to talk to.

And you're not afraid to be serious about
serious things, like so many boys.

Mike, I'd like you to go to the Junior Gale Ball with me.

I'd like to.

When are you going to show the world?

You and I, buddy, at the Deepwater
Regional Drags, the 23rd and the 24th.

I thought we'd zoom down there Saturday morning early.

Swing it.

Those guys at Deepwater will see nothing but our taillight.

Right.

Well, I've got to go now.

I'll see you later.

Okay, so long.

Thanks for the ride, sir.

Oh, wait a minute.



I won't be able to go to Deepwater with you.

Why not?

Oh, I've got a special air reserve maneuver that weekend.

Well, can't you get out of it?

I'd like to, but I've already signed up.

I was really counting on you, Mike.

You're the only one I trust to handle her.

Is this maneuver out there really that important?

I don't know.

I guess so.

See, I'm sure... You're sorry.

Well, if you change your mind, let me know, will you?

Yeah.

So long.

I'll see you.

Drive carefully.

Hello, Sergeant McCollum speaking.

Sergeant McCollum, this is Mike.

Airman Third Class Douglas.

Yeah?

Douglas, what's on your mind?

Sergeant, you know that special maneuver I volunteered for?

What's the matter?

Something come up?

Well, I just wanted to check and make sure
I had the dates right.

It's Saturday and Sunday, the 23rd and the 24th.

I suppose some of the guys aren't going to make it.

No, we've got a full crew and we've got a
big job to do, Douglas.

Oh, well, thanks, Sergeant.

Okay, we'll see you Saturday.

Episodes thought to be lost forever.



Call now.

Well, the family... It's Pasta Anytime, new from Classico.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Mike.

You, uh, looking for something?

Yeah, I've lost my pipe again.

I could have sworn I left it right here in
my drawing table.

Robbie has it.

Yeah, well, don't worry, he's not smoking it.

He's talking to some girl on the phone.

He says if he puts it between his teeth, he sounds older.

He must be talking to Ingrid.

Dad, uh, you gonna be at the base next week?

Yeah, I'm gonna be out there on Saturday.

Have a meeting on a new Air Force project.

Why?

I just wondered.

Want me to stop by and see how efficient the
squadron is when Airman Third Class Douglas is on duty?

Well, uh, as a matter of fact, I might not be there.

You won't be there?

I thought you volunteered.

Well, I did, but, uh... Something came up, huh?

Something?

I gave up two free tickets to a great baseball game.

I wrote off a chance to drive Archie Greer's
new heap at the regional drags at Deepwater.

Well, you've had about everything offered
to you but the presidency, haven't you?

Even my big day with Melissa's on the 23rd.

So?

Well, it isn't as if the safety of the free world depends
on whether I go out and work on those beat-up engines.

I mean, it's just a routine exercise.

I'll be going on 50 more just like it.

No, I suppose that's true.

Of course, you'll probably think I'm a rat if I don't go.

Mike, what I think or what Sergeant McCollum
or anyone else will think isn't really too important.

The important thing is how you'll feel about yourself.

You know, it sure was easier when I used to
come in here and you'd tell me exactly what to do.

I know it's tough, Mike, when you finally
have to make your own decisions.

But believe me, when you come up with the
right one, it can be very satisfying.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Well, thanks, Dad.

What is he saying?

Well, I'm not sure, but he certainly
sounds older, doesn't he?

Doug, Ingrid asked me to her party a week from Saturday.

Oh, she's having a group of the older folks in, hmm?

Yes, I was wondering if I could borrow your pipe.

I won't light it, honest, Dad.

Yeah, I guess you could, Rob.

It does give you a certain maturity.

Oh, I sure hope so.

Oh, I'll go along with that.

I'm trying to forget.

You know, it's amazing what that pipe does for you.

It not only has given you a certain maturity,
it's turned you into a brilliant conversationalist.

To San Francisco.

Okay, all right, you guys.

Douglas, what's your sad story?

Well, this looks like a big evening.

Why, yeah.

Melissa couldn't take me to the Junior Guild Ball last
week, so I'm going to take her to the Pan Hell Hop tonight.

Watch your language there, Charlie.

Pan Hellenic Hop.

That's better.

Melissa must be quite a girl, Mike.

Oh, she is.

And besides, her dad's in a neighbor reserve,
so she knows how it is to be a service widow.

Well, you better not keep her waiting.

Oh, I'm waiting for Rob.

I promised to give him a lift.

I have to go to Ingrid Smith's party on my way.

Oh, that's right.

Tonight's the night he mingles with the
senior citizens, isn't it?

He's probably going by wheelchair.

Come on, Rob.

I'm coming.

He's up there putting gray streaks in his temple.

Well.

She's, uh...

She's having a, uh... a booties and a... and bonnets party.

Hank's gonna wear diapers, even.

Well, heck!

A guy can't even do anything around here
without his family getting all fractured about him.

What kind of a goof-off would a guy be if
he didn't go and get into the spirit of junk?

Come on, Mike.

Nice.

Poor Robbie.

The pipe and the wrinkle's all gone to waste.

Are you proud of me?

For what, Bub?

I know a half a dozen gags about how goofy
that guy looks and I didn't pull one of them.

Congratulations.

Tell me a couple of them, Bub.

I'll use them on him tomorrow.

Look,

up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, it's
not Superman, it's My Favorite Martian.

Stay tuned for two episodes of My Favorite
Martian during this twice as nice morning on TV Land.

My Favorite Martian.