03x32 - Let's Take Stock

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and as Bub, William Frawley.

Oh, Great Western Railways is hitting the skids.

That's just an adjustment.

Temporary drop in earnings.

Still has fine growth prospect.

Who's got time for growth?

Well, I should think you would.

I sunk the whole bundle in Great Western at 91.

Oh, no.

There it goes down again.



Robbie, is this some kind of teenage game?

Boy, I wish it was.

I'm talking about real money.

My hard-earned dollars.

Sorry, Robbie, but generally the market
seems to be reacting crab-wise to good news.

You know the saying.

Professionals buy on bad news, sell on good.

Oh, I'll remember that, sir.

Unless I get wiped out in the next couple of days.

Well, I've got to go.

I'm taking some deposit bottles back from Ms. Nelson.

Want to ask your dad for 20 cents so we
can get a couple of ice cream cones?

Can't.

I'm busy.

Doing what?

Market research.

What's that?

I ask kids things like, who makes their skates?

You know, what name's on the box.

What's the idea?

Well, I find out what skates the kids buy
and that they like them.

Then I buy the stock.

You know, for dividends and stuff.

Uh-huh.

Duke.

Hi, Mike.

Did you hear anything new about Zeus Fuels?

I heard my dad talking about it again last night.

He says the stock is going way up.

You're sure Zeus is going to get that government contract?

Sure, I'm sure.

My uncle's best friend is on the board.

Well, when do you think they'll make the announcement?

Any day now.

There's just a few little details to iron out.

Good.

I still have time to get in on the ground floor.

How much stock are you buying?

I'm going to sh**t to works.

You know, Harvey, I think Steve has licked our bottleneck.

Possibly.

I wonder what he really knows about Zeus.

He's pretty close bound.

Well, it seems to me he's entitled to a bonus.

He's done some hard work.

Yes.

A bonus might loosen him up a little.

Uh, Mr. Stephen Douglas, please.

Oh, hello, Steve.

This is d*ck Pomeroy.

Oh, hi, d*ck.

How's the market?

You know me.

If it's a hot tip, let it cool off for a while.

Uh, this is no tip.

Look, Steve, Robbie's been in here the
last few mornings before school.

Uh, I didn't pay too much attention.

I just thought it was some sort of high
school project, but...

Well, perhaps he's getting in over his head.

No, it's nothing like that, d*ck.

They're studying the stock market in his
economics class, and...

each student gets a mythical $10,000 to invest, and then at
the end of the semester, they find out who comes out best.

But wait a minute, Steve.

Robbie said he was losing hard-earned dollars.

I wonder if he's got some kind of a pool
with Mike and Chip.

Is the whole family in on it?

Yeah, I thought as long as Robbie had
to do it, it might be fun if we all got in on it.

And I thought it'd be a good way to teach
them that the stock market is a place for

investment and not a place to try to make a quick buck.

Yeah.

Well, let me know how it comes out, will you?

If it works, I'd like to try it on my own son.

So long, Steve.

Chip, you sure you want that roller flyer stock?

What do they make?

Roller skates.

Kind of skates you have when you were a kid.

Square ones.

They hadn't invented the wheel.

How about Manalurgical Manufacturing Company?

Will you try that again?

Manalurgical Manufacturing Company.

They make skate keys.

No, no, no dice.

You don't like it?

Well, it won't even fit on the board.

Manalurgical Manufacturing Company.

I can't spell it.

Haven't you got a short one?

Let's see.

How about Alphabet Toys?

Alphabet Toys, yeah.

I like that.

That's all right.

Where'd you find it?

Well, I checked out the five in diamond, the candy
source, and I researched all the kids in my grade.

Okay.

Now, Chip, why don't you forget all about
this high finance stuff and go on out and play.

Okay, Bub.

I'm sorry you didn't get $10,000,
too, but you can have half of mine.

Well, thanks, Chip.

Half of nothing gives me just enough to
buy the hole in one donut.

Have fun.

Well, there's a good little guy.

Well,

I'm intrigued with your magnesium casting,
Steve, but will it stand the stresses?

Well, I have some figures here showing
that it has a built-in safety factor of seven.

He's right, Harvey.

His alloy additive really beefs it up.

Reynolds here.

Oh, is Mr. Douglas there?

Tell him his broker's calling.

Broker?

Well, yes, Bub.

Hello, Steve.

I just thought you might be interested.

Zeus Fuels went up five points.

Well, they must have gotten that big
contract Mike mentioned.

I guess so.

I figured you might want Robbie to sell
his Great Western Railway stock.

It went down a point.

Well, we'll talk about that, hmm?

Thanks for calling, Bub.

Goodbye.

I'm sorry about the interruption.

Oh, that's all right.

You know, Steve, I dabble in the market
myself now and then, if I get a good tip.

Mr. Reynolds, that wasn't my broker.

That was my father-in-law.

He shouldn't have called me here,
but he gets a little excited.

He's keeping track of the boys' investments.

You know that family thing I was telling you about?

There's no money involved.

Now, you'll notice that we can use the
existing assembly lines.

That'll save us a major retooling.

What are you, some sort of lone wolf?

What do you think of Zeus Fuel?

I'd say it's highly speculative.

Unless you have inside information, huh?

Well, personally, I don't believe in tips.

I think we've covered everything here.

You haven't said what you think about Project 37.

That's... Oh, we're impressed, aren't we, Johnson?

Oh, tell me.

Yes, sir, it's given us a new perspective on you, Douglas.

Well, fine, fine.

If you want me, I'll be back at the old drawing board.

You know, Douglas may be the man to head our Texas project.

But I thought we agreed to give him a bonus.

Ah, what's a couple of thousand to a guy
that can make that much in one day?

Yes, sir, we'd better give him Texas.

We told you it wasn't really his broker,
it was his father-in-law.

It's just kid stuff, a family game.

Oh, I know these shop operators.

Douglas is playing it close to the vest.

I saw the look in his eye.

He doesn't want the tip to get out and run up the price.

Johnson.

Yes, Harvey.

How do you spell Zeus?

One S or two?

Polygrain.

The insiders say it's going to split three from one.

I don't know much about polygrain.

What is it?

Who knows?

Hi, Rob.

Hey, Rob.

Well, see you guys.

Yeah, take it easy, Milford.

Boy, another day like today and I'm going
to be rolling in dust.

How are you doing, Rob?

Oh, I'm holding my own.

Well, you can't win by holding.

You've got to keep buying and selling.

Yeah, well, my dad says, just buy them and
then put them away.

Oh, the trouble with you is, Rob,
you're not bullish enough.

Well, what kind of a crack is that?

Hey, take it easy.

It's only Wall Street talk.

See, a bull is someone who thinks the
market's going to go up, and a bear is

somebody who thinks the market's going to go down.

Well, I'm a bull.

It's just that my dad doesn't know it.

What did you say?

It all.

No, no, no, no.

Don't start hinting.

Dinner's not even ready yet.

Boy, don't mention food.

Yeah, I'm kind of sick of it myself.

You know that Craigston Candy Company stock?

Yeah.

Well, they're coming out with this new candy bar.

It's sort of like a chocolate-covered
jelly donut with a peanut butter center.

It's all covered with coconut.

It's called Astronut Fudgie.

That's sickening.

So you've decided not to go into the
Craigston Candy Company?

Oh, I didn't get a stomachache until after the fourth one.

It'll go good with the kids.

O'Casey and Company.

Mr. Douglas.

No, no, he's at work now.

Oh, Chip Douglas.

Who's calling, please?

Mr. Sillsby of Alphabet Toys returning your call.

Hello?

Mr. Douglas, you phoned our chairman of the board.

He's out of town at the moment.

I'm the general manager.

May I be of assistance?

Well, I'm calling about your new Gensho
repeating water p*stol.

Yes.

The new improved Mark II model with 80 squirts.

I thought you'd like to know they're fresh
out over at Iverson's toy store.

And you'd like us to send you one, is that it?

Oh, no.

Send Mr. Iverson some.

I'm a stockholder.

Aren't you a little young to be investing?

I just sound young.

Goodbye.

Hello, Butler and Javlo?

Hello.

Oh, Sid, Sid.

Harvey Reynolds.

Yes.

Sid, I've got a hot one.

Real sleeper.

Zeus Fuels.

No, two S's.

Z-E-U-S-S.

They make all kinds of fuels, I suppose.

Frankly, I never heard of them.

Hmm?

So never mind, just buy me 500 shares.

Huh?

Well, let's just say a good reliable source.

Hey, I'm doing okay.

I explained my system in front of the whole class.

Miss Bergen said I'm the wizard of Wall Street.

Big deal.

Chip, those toy companies are kid stuff.

You just wait till Zeus Fuels really takes off.

Oh, good evening, gentlemen.

Hi, Steve.

I tried to call home.

Who's been tying up the phone all day?

Everybody's been using the phone.

The little wizard of Wall Street, Robbie.

Mike's been getting quotations from me
while I've been getting flashes from the big board.

What are we having for dinner?

Cold cuts.

Again?

Well, I can't go to the market and play
the market at the same time, you know.

Hey, Dad, I'm getting rich.

Yeah, you're doing all right, Chipper.

I'm sorry that Robbie lost his shirt on
account of your advice.

Well, not the whole shirt, Chip, just some of the buttons.

But we're not worried, are we, Rob?

Hmm?

Well, I guess not, Dad.

All the guys in my F class are a runaway enemy.

They're buying and selling and selling and buying.

Boy, that's really action.

Let them.

We're not traders, Rob.

We're investors.

Dad, I was just telling Rob I got another
tip on Zeus Fuels.

Mike, there is nothing more dangerous or
unreliable than a tip.

Now, look, the only reason I decided to go
ahead with this family project was to

teach you about investing in the stock market.

You all washed up for dinner?

No.

Well, let's get out of here.

Okay.

Dad?

Hmm?

Can I have $500 out of my trust fund to buy a stock?

You certainly cannot.

That's for your education, Mark.

But, Dad, I would have made $5,000 if that was real money.

Well, what if Zeus went down?

It won't.

The answer is still no.

I'll get a mother's helper.

I'll get a stock ticker.

I'm lucky if I get my spring cleaning done by winter.

I'll set a table, Doug.

You know, I'm very proud of Robbie.

He's taking this economics project very seriously.

He's got a good son-in-law.

What's that?

The sound approach is falling flat on his face.

What's wrong?

I'm trying to do this history and I keep
thinking of economics.

That crummy stock market.

Well, at least it's not real money.

I wanted to talk to you about Dad.

Yeah, he's been walking around like he
caused the fall of the Roman Empire or something.

Did you hear him laugh at dinner?

That's a bad sign.

Well, he always laughs when he's down.

Remember that summer when we were kids and he got that
new fiberglass rod and reel and those neat feathered lures?

And we had bamboo Poles and stale bread?

We got all efficient.

He didn't catch a thing.

Except for a three-pound fighting rubber boot.

Do you remember how he laughed?

Hollow, kind of.

Yeah, well, now you know how I feel.

But Zeus Fuels is doing great.

Oh, sure it's doing great.

And I told Daddy to do great.

That's why I feel so rotten.

Well, why don't you do something about it?

What can I do?

If I sell now, I'll be way ahead.

What am I supposed to do, give him away?

No.

Dad wouldn't want you to lose to him
unless it was fair and square.

Boy, would I like to belt that Duke.

Who's Duke?

Well, he's the wise guy who told me about Zeus Fuels.

Why doesn't he keep his reliable tips to himself?

Oh, it's my considered opinion,
and mind you, this is just an educated

guess, but your portfolio is as solid as
the Rock of Gibraltar.

Well, not really, d*ck.

The Rock of Gibraltar isn't slowly sinking into the ocean.

This is just a temporary readjustment to a
firmer support level.

You're an adult, Steve.

You have to have confidence.

Oh, I do, I do.

It's just that I'm losing face with Robbie.

You're losing face?

Listen, last night I found out that my son is a
member of the same economics class as Robbie.

Now, he's been following my tips,
and he's dropped four grand.

He just stares at me across the table.

I know what you mean.

Oh, by the way, I found out that there is
real money involved.

Each one of the kids put up two bucks, a winner take all.

Well, I know Robbie.

I'm sure he'll tell me about it sooner or later.

Well, thanks, d*ck.

Oh, say, there's one more thing.

A friend of mine has put a bundle on Zeus Fuels.

Have you ever heard of it?

Have I?

It's tied up the ticker all morning.

Zeus Fuels is setting new records.

It is?

For taking a nosedive.

Oh.

I mean, oh.

Yes?

This is Sid Sablow.

Let me talk to Mr. Reynolds.

It's your broker.

What is it, Sidney?

I'm busy.

I've been watching the tape, Mr. Reynolds.

There's an awful lot of activity on Zeus.

Oh?

It's really starting to move, eh?

Yeah, down.

Down?

Three points in the last ten minutes.

Bail out before you really get hurt.

Well, I'll check on it and call you back.

Down.

What's that Douglas trying to pull?

Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Reynolds.

Hi.

Anything I can do for you?

How's the, uh, fuel market, uh,
stock market treating you lately?

Well, no complaints.

Sold anything good lately?

No, I'm not a trader, Mr. Reynolds.

If I buy a stock, I hang on to it.

Faith in industry and all that.

Never mind the platitudes, Steve.

Have you, uh, have you talked to your broker lately?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I just checked with him.

You're not worried?

No.

You're not?

I see.

Hello.

Is Reynolds there?

It's Sidney again.

There's one thing I can't stand is a broker who panics.

Yes, Sidney, what is it now?

Did you check your source, Mr. Reynolds?

Yes, I just checked him, and he's still confident.

Zeus just dropped another four points.

Sell.

But your source?

My source is rotten to the core.

Sell.

Johnson, wire Preston and ask him to head
up our Texas project.

Texas?

I thought we were holding Texas for Douglas.

No, no, we need a hard-headed businessman,
not some dreamer with his head in the clouds.

You dropped a bundle, huh?

Well, Buzz, this ought to be a good lesson to Mike.

Went down seven points, huh?

That's the market for you.

Yeah, goodbye.

Douglas, I don't quite know how to say this.

We can't give you Texas.

Texas?

However, we're still giving you your bonus.

Bonus?

Yes, you'll probably need it after the bath you took.

Bath?

In the market.

In the market!

Well, you were sure right, Dad.

I lost a bundle of money on paper.

Well, aren't you glad you didn't take any
money out of your trust fund?

Yeah.

And for Robbie, a profit of $109.

And 75 cents.

Right.

You were right, Dad.

But, boy, I sure didn't think that kind of
chicken feed could beat the guys in my class.

Chicken feed?

Rob, that's a profit of almost 12% a year.

That's not bad, you know.

Oh, yeah.

Actually, I've got to give some thanks to Mike.

You see, I told all the other guys in my
class how great Mike was doing with Zeus.

Fuels and how I was wishing you'd let me buy it.

So they all bought it.

Boy, what sore losers.

And I'll give you the winner.

In this corner, wearing blue jeans, at $1,274,
the new flea weight champion, Tycoon Douglas.

I'm richer than anybody.

Yeah.

Oh, beginner's luck.

Luck?

I did what Dad said and invested in things that I
knew about, like roller skates and electric trains.

Well, I guess you fellas have learned that
gambling doesn't pay.

Maybe not, Dad, but I won $20 in a class pool of cash.

Oh, you did?

Yeah.

You see, 10 of us guys got together and each
pitched in $2 to make economics more interesting.

$20?

Real money?

Oh, boy, we're rich.

Well, then, in a way, you did gamble on
the stock market, didn't you?

Well, like you said, on good, safe securities.

Well, I want you to take that money and
give it back to your friends, Rob.

But I can't, Dad.

Why not?

Well, I don't have it.

Mr. Armstrong found out about the bet and
made me contribute it to the library.

Well, good for Mr. Armstrong.

The only way to make a fast buck is slowly.

Tell him, Steve.

Well, the, uh, company gave me a bonus.

How much, then?

What?

Well, the amount doesn't matter, Chip.

It's the thought behind the $2,000 that counts.

$2,000?

What are we gonna do with all that, Dad?

Well, I thought maybe we'd, uh, put a
down payment on a cabin up at the lake.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's a good idea, but, you know, that
$2,000 could be working for us until next summer.

Hey, Dad, Alphabet Toys is coming out with this.

Oh, yeah.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.