04x01 - Almost the Sound of Music

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Sorry.

It's Bonnie Baxter Teen Time.

Let's have some fun, fun, fun!

Hey, there he is!

There's Robbie!

Where?

Where?

Oh, he went off the edge.

There, he's coming back!

Yep, yep, you're right.

There's Robbie, all right.

Where's the fellow with the whip?

What whip?

Well, don't tell me they're doing that
just because they like him.

Sure, they're having fun.

How can you tell?

Because Bonnie Baxter said so.

Don't you remember?

Fun, fun, fun!

Well, I've seen bigger smiles than that on Ben Casey.

That was a pretty good one, wasn't it, Auntie?

Aga-baga!

Okay, all you lovely people, listen to your old Uncle Bud.

Now, look, he just got washed.

One more week.

That's all, just seven sets of 24 to submit your entry
in our final quarter of our teen-time songwriting contest.

Don't forget, now, one more week, so get them in.

Aga-baga!

There you go again.

What's with this aga-baga?

Aga-baga!

That means it's boss.

Well, why don't you just talk like
everyone else and say it's boss?

Because this is aga-baga!

Wasn't Harry's aga-baga?

You really like that freepy jazz?

It wasn't either freepy.

Oh, come on now, Nancy.

Now, if that was a song, tell me one good thing about it.

One good thing.

Well, it was catchy.

Are you kidding?

Well, I can't remember that thing.

Nobody could.

Don't point those lips my way, pretty baby.

Okay, all right, all right.

It's catchy.

But so are measles.

Boy, if I couldn't write a better
song than that, then I'd... What?

Well, then I'd give up, that's what.

Then why don't you do it?

You've got a whole week.

I suppose you think I couldn't write a song, huh?

I think you could.

You do, huh?

I think you're a very clever boy.

Yeah?

Well, uh, let's go in before Chip and Mike
eat all the food wet.

You think I couldn't write a song, don't you?

Robbie, I think you could.

Hey, fellas, I got some great news.

Chip, turn off that television.

I can't.

I'm doing my homework.

Turn it off.

Robbie's got something to tell you.

Oh, I just won the Indians.

We're winning.

We've got an emergency.

Sorry, Sally.

That was Charlie.

Sorry, Charlie.

What's the emergency?

Well, Robbie's just finished his song,
and he wants to tape it.

We're going to be the vocal background.

Oh, hi, g*ng.

Hi, Steve.

Hi, Dad.

Bob, was there a call for me today from Reinhardt?

Reinhardt Aviation?

Well, unless it's right there on that pad.

Well, it isn't here.

You sure there wasn't a call?

Well, maybe they sent it over by carrier
pigeon, and he forgot to knock.

What's the problem, Dad?

A big assignment at Reinhardt Aviation is the problem.

They submitted sketches for modification of their jet
trainer about ten days ago, and nobody will talk to me.

But nobody.

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Chip.

See?

I talked to you.

Well, thanks, Chip.

I feel a lot better.

Well, you got the guitar out, huh, Rob?

Going to have gypsy music with dinner?

Well, I finished my song for the contest.

Well?

Good for you.

You ordered it on account of that funky Nancy Gordon.

Nobody asked you, Chip.

Well, play it for me, will you, Rob?

I'd like to hear it.

You will.

I've lined up some background music,
and we're all going to tape it right here.

Yeah, I borrowed Nelson's tape recorder.

Well, Robbie Douglas and his teenage quartet, huh?

Quintet.

One, two, three, four.

Five.

Oh, me too, huh?

Yes, you're in.

Well, fine.

Let's get at it.

Right after dinner.

Real family project, huh?

Oh, great.

You know what they say about the family
that sings together?

Yeah, they lose all their neighbors.

Okay, I'll go through it first, and then we'll
work out the arrangements for the quintet later.

Okay.

All right, hit it, Johan.

When all the world is sad and blue, and
out the window hope has flew, the only thing.

...

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Hold it, hold it.

Out the window hope has flew?

Well, yeah.

It has to rhyme with blue, doesn't it?

Can't argue with that, Mike.

Rob, why don't you try out the window hope just flew?

Wouldn't that be a little better?

Just flew?

Out the window hope just flew.

Yeah, I guess it would work, Dad.

Thanks.

I'll start at the top again.

Jeepers, do you have to?

Go ahead, Rob.

It sounds very good.

When all the world is sad and blue And out
the window hope just flew The only thing I

hear from you is Ugga bugga, ooh, ooh,
ooh Ugga bugga, ooh, ooh, ooh Rob, hold it.

Ugga bugga?

Yeah, that's the name of the song, Dad.

Ugga bugga.

What does it mean?

Well, it means boss.

You know, everything's great.

According to who?

Too nasty.

She says it all the time.

I told you you wrote it on account of that goofy girl.

Nobody asked me.

Thanks, Dad.

I'll start all over again, okay?

Boy, how do you exact from being a brother?

Go ahead, Brian.

When all the world is sad and blue When
out the window hope just flew The only

thing I hear from you is Ugga bugga ooh
ooh ooh Ugga bugga ooh ooh ooh Ugga bugga

ooh ooh ooh When all the world is sad and
blue When out the window hope just flew.

When out the window hope just flew The
only thing I hear from you is Ugga bugga

ooh ooh ooh The only thing I hear from you
is Ugga bugga ooh ooh ooh I can't do it!

Well, there you guys go again.

I'm sorry.

I'll tell you.

That Ugga bugga kind of gets to me.

That's all.

Dad, this is serious business.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Now come on g*ng.

From the top again.

Now are you all set?

Yes.

Chip, will you please try to get it right this time?

Well I'm trying, but I'm just a little kid.

Oh, now it's Chip's bedtime.

In a few more minutes, he'll be on time and a half.

Okay, all right, here we go.

All right.

Record.

Take number nine.

When all the world is sad and blue And our
feelings are both just blue The only thing

I hear from you is Ugga buga ooh ooh ooh
Ugga buga ooh ooh ooh Our teenage lives is

oh so bleak And our fun and our whims But
you're as rosy as an apple Cheek with your

ugga buga eek eek eek Ugga buga eek eek
eek How can you be so cheerful?

Don't you know that life's a sad?

How can you look for the bright side When
there's so much more that is bad?

Ooh!

Bad!

Ah!

Bad!

Whoa!

Friday night, there's no place to go You both want
to go home when life gets worse But do you care?

The answer is no You say ugga buga oh oh
oh Ugga buga oh oh oh Ugga buga U-U-U Ugga

buga E-E-E Ugga buga Oh oh oh But I want
you anyhow Ugga buga U-U-U Ugga buga E-E-E.

Ugga buga Oh oh oh But I want you anyhow Ugga buga.

Also, All available on CD-ROM.

I thought I told you, Dad.

I'm in the finals party for the whole year.

The finals, huh?

Yeah.

And Robbie's a cinch to beat the other three winners.

Well, make a note of that, Bub.

That's one program where you want to watch.

A watch?

No, Dad, you're going to be there.

Oh, why do we have to be there?

Why can't we watch it here?

Oh, Dad, you have to be there.

To do Ugga Bugga.

Yeah.

Rob, you didn't say anything about having
to sing the song in public.

But, Dad, we don't have to actually sing it.

You see, they play the tape, and then we
just pretend we're singing.

Well, that's impossible.

No, it isn't, Mr. Douglas.

They do it all the time.

I didn't mean that, Nancy.

I mean, I just can't get up with a bunch of teenagers
on TV and sing Ugga Bugga, eek, eek, eek, ow, ow, ow.

No, I can't do it.

Dad, if you don't do it, we can't win.

And it's such a grunchy song.

Well, you'll just have to get yourself another gruncher.

Oh, what are you afraid of, Steve?

I'm going to do it.

And I haven't been a teenager since Betsy
Ross dropped a stitch.

Look, Rob, how do you know who's going to
be looking at a show like that?

It might be some of the fellas out at the plant, or I
could be laughed out of the whole grunchy aviation.

Besides, Rob, you've got my voice on the tape.

Why do I have to be there?

Because, Dad, they'll be looking for a
baritone, and you're the only baritone they've got.

Well, tell them Bub's the baritone.

I resent that.

I'm an Irish tenor, and I'm proud of it.

Well, you can be proud of being an Irish
baritone once, can't you?

There's no such animal.

I'm sorry, Rob, I just can't do it.

Okay, Dad, if that's the way you feel about it.

Look, I'll put it to Nancy.

Nancy, if your father got up on TV with a bunch of teenagers
and sang a song like Ugga Bugga, what would you think?

I'd think he was the most wonderful father
in the whole world.

Now, let's see you wiggle out of that one, Penrod.

Dad!

Oh, Dad, come on.

Dad, where have you been?

Well, I tell you, I got this great idea,
so I stopped by a novelty store.

And I got one free dress.

How about that?

Oh, Dad, we can't wear those things.

Why not?

You look just like Dr. Cronkite.

Oh, now, come on.

What's wrong with you fellas?

Dad, we went through the whole thing at home.

We don't want to wear silly hats,
and we don't want to wear Halloween masks.

It's corny.

Steve, what are you worried about?

Nobody that you know would be caught dead
looking at this grunchy show.

I was just trying to give the act a little
novelty, that's all.

Harry Allen?

Hey, Harry, come on.

You're on next.

Get in there.

Let's go.

Good luck, Harry.

Well, hi.

Hi, Robbie.

Hey, where's the quintet?

Well, Monk's over there, and then here are
the rest of us, right here.

These teenagers get older every year.

Robbie, I've got a great idea.

Now, you're embarking on a whole new career.

Now, you wouldn't want to use a common old
name like Douglas.

Why don't you use just one name,
you know, like, well, like Fabian?

How can I do that, Dad?

It's already been used.

Well, no, no, I mean your first name.

Robbie.

Just Robbie.

Or, uh... Maybe Robbie.

Robbie.

But, Dad, that's, uh... That's freaky.

I like it.

It sounds as good as Fabian.

And Dion just called himself Dion.

Sure.

And, uh... How about Hildegard?

She does all right.

Who?

Hildegard.

She's a friend of the Berlin.

Don't drop your tears on me, pretty baby.

Don't drop your tears on me.

You left me high and dry, pretty baby.

Now, don't drop your tears on me.

Hi, Hildegard.

How are you?

Hi, Dennis.

Robbie, you know Dennis, don't you?

Yeah, hi, Dennis.

This is my grandfather and Chip,
my little brother, and this is my father.

Dad, this is Dennis Reinhardt.

He won the first quarter.

Hello, Dennis.

How do you do, sir?

Reinhardt?

Yes, sir.

Of course, you're not related to August Reinhardt.

Reinhardt of Reinhardt Aviation.

Yes, I am, sir.

You are?

He's my father.

Your father?

Do you know him, sir?

No, no, no.

I've just heard of him.

He's not here tonight.

Oh, no.

That's too bad.

No, he said he'd rather watch the show at home.

A man as important and as busy as your father is watches?

Oh, yes, sir.

He'll be watching, all right.

This contest means a lot to him.

See you, Dennis.

See you.

Rob, it might be a stage fright or something, but
something seems to be happening to my voice.

I'll be able to sing it.

Well, Dad, you don't have to.

It's all recorded.

All you have to do is just mouth it.

Oh, that's right.

Look, I've got a great idea.

Oh, Dad, another one.

What do you want to do this time?

Pull a bag over your head?

Yes.

Rob, I think I'm...

You're too tall for your group.

Why don't you... Why don't you just make it a quartet?

Dad, everybody knows it's a quintet.

Besides, there are five voices on the tape.

Oh, there are, aren't there?

Well, don't you see that?

That's what makes the idea so sensational.

You have five voices on the tape and only
four of you are singing.

You tell them that Bub is a Brent Twillip.

He's most not alive.

He can sing both tenor and baritone at the
same time while drinking a glass of water.

Get a glass of water.

All right.

If you don't want to do it, maybe
we can... Don't want to do it?

Oh, whatever gave you that idea?

I don't want to fall again.

Oh, yeah!

Hey,

Douglas, let's go.

Oh, uh, you, uh, other kids, too.

Come on, guys.

Come on, Steve, this isn't the last mile.

Mr. Douglas, I know that Ugga Bugga isn't your type of song,
but everybody's going to know you're doing it for Robbie.

Nancy, you don't understand.

Robbie's going to be real proud of you, Mr. Douglas.

I know I am, and you're not even my father.

Nancy, if you're looking for a job next summer, why
don't you go to New York and straighten out the U.N.?

I'm going to New York.

Don't look a little
fuzzy around the edges.

Don't adjust your TV.

That's the way they look here, too.

Okay, Robbie, you're on!

When all the world is fat and blue,
and our homes are both just blue,

the only thing I hear from you is ugga buga,
ooh, ooh, ooh, ugga buga, ooh, ooh, ooh.

Our teenage lives are so clear, and I want home now.

But you're as rosy as an apple, cheap with your ugga
buga, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ugga buga, ooh, ooh, ooh.

How can you be so cheerful, don't you know?

How can you look forward to the bright side, when
there's so much more than is bad, ooh, bad, bad.

When the price is up, there's no place to go.

You're both gone, no more life to live.

When the answer is no, you say, ugga buga, ooh.

Oh, but I want you anyhow, but I want you anyhow.

So am.

I.

Well, don't stand there, Douglas.

Come on in.

Well, good morning, Mr. Reinhardt.

I've got your plans right here.

You can take off the dark glasses, Elvis.

After that exhibition last night,
I'd know you in a cold bed.

You look pretty silly up there.

Yeah, I do.

I was just trying to help my boy.

Your boy?

My boy would have won.

If it wasn't for that ridiculous
fiddle-faddle your son turned up with.

Unga-bunga.

That's, uh, ugga-bunga.

Oh, that's much better.

Do you have any idea what that stupid
ugga-bunga did to my boy?

Well, I'm sorry he didn't win, sir, but... Sorry?

Don't be sorry.

That's the nicest thing that anybody ever did for me.

It is?

If Dennis won, I agreed to let him be a songwriter.

I'd have had catawalling like that unka-bunker
around my house for heavens knows how long.

I know what you mean.

Oh, uh, Douglas, what's your ideas for the trainer?

What do you think of them?

Technically speaking, I'd say they're unka-bunker.

That's...

I'm glad you feel that way.

Sit down, Douglas, sit down.

Thank you.

Now, I have some additional data.

Unka-bunker, hee-hee-hee, unka-bunker,
ow-ow-ow, unka-bunker... Do you have to sing that?

I thought you liked it, Nancy.

Well, I did, but it's so... scat-zy.

Scat-zy, what's that?

Oh, nobody says unka-bug anymore.

What do you mean?

My song hasn't even been published yet.

How can it be a has-been when it hasn't even been an is?

Don't blame me, Robbie.

I didn't have anything to do with...

Isn't it cool?

It'd be real big back east.

Oh, play something, Harry, please.

Well, I'm... I'm... I'm just beginning, but, uh...

Harry.

Right.

Oh, that's the best part.

I mean, who knows when it's wrong?

Well, uh, I'll see you kids later.

Goodbye, Harry.

Yeah, yeah.

I wonder if Dad would, too.

Maybe I could trade the guitar in here.

Oh, Robbie!

Oh, yeah.

Stay tuned for another episode of My Three Sons as
this twice as nice morning continues here on TV Land.

♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪.