04x15 - Top Secret

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Starring Fred McMurray.

Hello?

Just a minute.

Dad's for you.

It's long distance.

Oh, thanks, Jim.

Oh, what's this?

Pardon me.

Hello?

Yes, this is Stephen Douglas.

Oh, hello, Ed.

How are you?

Fine.

Yeah.

Well, if you think I could...

Okay.

I'll fly out of here tonight and see you
first thing in the morning.

Right.

What long distance was that, Steve?

I have to go to Washington.

I'll go up and change.

Mike, can you take me to the airport?

Yeah, sure, Dad.

Fine.

Well?

General, we've located the problem.

It's definitely in this area.

I see.

And what do you intend to do about it?

We've brought in a top man.

I've worked with him before.

What's his name?

Stephen Douglas.

Well, you better be right about it.

At the moment, we have six days to find what's wrong
with Centron and still leave time to prepare for the test.

And gentlemen, at the moment, Centron is
the principal defense posture of our country.

My father made these baseball shoes
special for me in his factory.

Your dad works in a shoe factory?

Works.

He's very important.

He runs the whole place.

He makes all the football shoes for
Chicago, all the baseball shoes for New York.

What's so important about making shoes?

Yeah, Ernie's dad runs the whole theater.

My dad got an autographed picture from John Wayne.

My dad's got an autographed picture from Mickey Mantle.

My dad's got a slide rule.

Slide rule?

What's that?

I could tell you if I had the time.

You guys want to borrow my new baseball shoes sometime?

Uh-uh.

We'd rather play in sneakers, wouldn't we, Ernie?

I guess so.

Okay, then.

I'll race you over to my house.

Okay.

Do you think I might be able to come up with something?

Steve, I remember what you did in our Greenleaf.

Greenleaf Project.

I think you're the best man for this phase
of a highly complex problem.

What if it's as important as you say it?

This isn't just important.

It's crucial.

And we have six days.

Now, if you fail, it means that we'll have to postpone
the test, and you know what a blow that would be.

Well, General, I'll certainly do the best I can.

I'll get started on it right away.

Mr. Douglas, this project is top secret.

It demands complete security.

I have to know where you plan to do your work.

Well, where do you think I should work, Mr. Henning?

Well, the thing to do is to get a place
that we can control.

An isolated cottage somewhere.

Well, isn't that lab to attract attention?

I mean, my disappearing suddenly?

That's the one thing we can't allow.

There must be no attention attracted to Mr. Douglas.

No one, not even Henning, will know what you're working on.

Well, why don't I work right at home?

At home?

Yes, I work there very often, and nobody
pays the slightest bit of attention.

As far as anyone's concerned, I'd just be
working on another routine assignment.

Well, who else would be there?

My father-in-law, my three sons.

Oh.

How old are these boys?

Well, Mike's 20, he's going to college.

Robbie's 17, Chip is 10.

A 10-year-old boy, loose around critical stuff like this?

You don't have to worry about Chip.

What do you think?

Mr. Douglas, you understand that your
family will be under surveillance.

I understand.

Well, I'd better be going.

If you need any additional information,
you can contact us through Mr. Henning.

Thank you, gentlemen.

Thanks for your confidence in me.

And good luck, Douglas.

Goodbye, sir.

Goodbye, Ed.

Nice to see you again.

Steve.

How was your trip?

Fine.

Well, Chipper, what have you been up to?

I went over to that new kid, Richard's house.

Huh?

Is he a nice fellow?

He's all right.

His father makes shoes.

Well, we all have to wear shoes.

Dad?

Yeah, Chip?

I wanted to ask you a question.

What is it?

Well, when you make drawings, what do you make drawings of?

Oh, lots of things.

Well, like what?

Oh, circuits, fuel injectors, all kinds of things.

Nothing really important, huh?

No, I guess not too important, Chip.

That's what I figured.

Anybody home?

Hi, Dad.

Hi, Mike.

Hey, that was a quick trip.

Well, we're living in the jet age, you know.

Dad, back already?

Yeah, I'm back already.

Hi, Steve.

How come your back's equipped?

Look, did I say how long I was going to be gone?

Have you lost your job?

No, I haven't lost my job.

As a matter of fact, I have a new assignment.

I'm going to be working here at home for a while.

Then I'm going to have to clean up around you again.

Well, just for a few days, Bob.

Excuse me.

Can I take you back?

Oh, thanks very much, Mike.

You planning on working up in your room?

I thought I might.

It was all right with you.

Well, then take your shoes off.

I just shampooed that rug.

I'll walk around on my hands, okay?

I wonder what he's working on.

I can tell you one thing.

It's nothing important.

Now it's just Patience.



This is sure a switch.

From public enemies, spies, subversives,
saboteurs, kidnappers, to this.

In all my months of training, they never
mentioned tailing a 10-year-old kid.

Or monitoring a 17-year-old teenager with telephonitis.

We'll handle this job.

This job is as if the Douglas family was
out to blow up New York City.

Every word, every move, every meaningful silence.

That's our assignment.

From top-level Pentagon.

Open up, it's a raid.

Hi, Bub.

Dinner is served, sir.

I've been calling you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't hear you, Bub.

Well, what's the deal here?

What deal?

The locked door.

Oh.

Well, I just didn't want my, uh, papers blowing away.

Huh.

Papers don't blow through doors.

They blow through windows.

What are you coming?

Look, Bub, this is really a rush assignment I'm working on.

Do you suppose maybe you could put my
dinner on a tray and bring it up?

Okay.

All right.

And when I come back, shall I just slip it under the door?

No, no.

Just knock three times and ask for payment.

.

.

.

Anything to report?

Yes, sir.




Chip Douglas watch friend Ernie feed white rat.


look through a window and watch

grandfather Bub examine Chip Douglas' ears, then
send him upstairs, presumably to take bath and go to bed.

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But I don't know if I should.

Gee, Betty, you can ask me if you want to.

I don't know if I should.

Betty, ask me.

No, Robbie, I don't think I should.

Well, I've got to go now.

My mother wants to use the phone.

Bye, Robbie.

Bye, Betty.

Seems pretty quiet over there.

Everything's under control.

Five days to go.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to
get out of here, but I don't know if I'm

going to be able to get out of here,
but I don't know if I'm going to be able

to get out of here, but I don't know if
I'm going to be able to get out of here,

but I don't know if I'm going to be able
to get out of here, but I don't know if

I'm going to be able to get out of here,
but I don't know if I'm going to be able

to get out of here, but I don't know if
I'm going to be able to get out of here,

but I don't know if I'm going
to be able to get out of here,

but I don't know if I'm going
to be able to get out of here,

but I don't know if I'm going to be able
to get out of here, but I don't know if

I'm going to be able to get out of here,
but I don't know if.

Well, thanks, Chip.

Dan, what's... what's C-E-N-T-R-O-N?

Chip, I want you to listen to me.

Do you remember the time I
was planning to buy Mike his first

car, and you happened to
overhear Bub and me talking about it?

Sure, I remember.

The point is, Chip, you kept an important
secret, and I was very proud of you.

It wasn't anything, Dad.

When you told me it was a secret, I kept it.

Chip, these papers you've just been
looking at, they're a lot more important.

Are they secret?

That's right.

And I want you to promise me you won't say
a word to anyone about seeing them.

Gosh, Dad, I won't say a thing.

Not even to Ernie or Richard?

Not even to anybody.

Okay.

I think maybe you'd better get back to bed, huh?

Okay, Dad.

Dad?

Yeah, Chip?

Can I give Ernie and Richard
just a little... A little hint?

No, you can't, Chip.

Okay.

Night, Dad.

Good night.

Did you get into his room with the breakfast?

He nearly chopped my arm off when he closed the door.

Well, I've never seen Dad work so hard on anything before.

Me neither.

If he stays in that room one more day,
I'm gonna put a smallpox sign on the door.

You'd think he'd give us some idea what he's working on.

Yeah, you would think he'd trust his own family.

I can understand he's not trusting you,
Birds, but what about me?

You know what I think?

What do you think?

I think we all ought to leave Dad alone.

See you guys later.

You know, maybe the kid's right.

If you want to ride to school, we'll come again.

So long.

So long.

Benny?

Yeah, Bob?

I've got to come in and change the sheets.

You just changed them yesterday.

I did?

Yeah.

I think I can stand sleeping on them one more night.

Well, then I'll empty the wastebaskets.

Okay, Bob.

Come on.

All right.

Okay, Buster, where is it?

Where's what, Bob?

The papers.

All this hugger-mugger secret jazz.

What do you mean, secret jazz?

Come on, Steve.

Now, don't play games with me.

What's going on up here?

Well, nothing, Bob.

Just my normal work, that's all.

Normal?

Barricading yourself in here like the prisoner of Zenda?

Well, I do have a special assignment.

I just want to get it finished.

Well, you can tell me what it is, can't you?

Bob?

Can you keep a secret?

You're talking to Silent Sam.

Bob, I am working on a space energizer
which vaporizes solid objects and makes

them reappear at any place where they might be needed.

Do you realize the immensity of this?

It means that we can move a whole army if need
be halfway around the Earth in a matter of seconds.

Wow!

Now, do you realize why I've kept the door locked?

And keep it locked.

From now on, there'll be no member of this
family allowed to bother you.

Wait.

Remember, not a word to a soul.

I won't even tell tr*mp.

What's happening?

Here's the latest wiretap.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Betty.

Robbie.

Yeah?

I've just got to ask you something.

Okay, Betty, ask me something.

Robbie, are you going to the spring fling?

A-ha, a-ha.

A-ha, a-ha.

A-ha, a-ha.

A-ha, a-ha.

A-ha, a-ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha.

You.

Lose something, Fowler?

Yeah, that kid.

He was right in front of me and he's disappeared.

Following a normal family is m*rder.

I'd never have let Douglas work at his house.

Certainly not with a ten-year-old kid around.

Well, he's got to be here somewhere.

Ah, how's the family, Mr. O'Casey?

Your son-in-law's still doing a lot of traveling?

Well, he spends more time in Washington than a congressman.

Oh, really?

Is he in Washington now?

No, he's working around home for a few days.

Working?

When my husband's home, I call it loafing.

Well, I'll never see him again.

Don't say that about my son-in-law.

He hasn't slept for three days.

Oh, is your son-in-law still working on missiles?

Missiles?

They're a little bit old-fashioned.

You mean there's something newer than a m*ssile?

Well, let me tell you, you'd be surprised at
what these engineers are working on nowadays.

Really?

Why, they could vaporize this whole supermarket
and make it reappear again in Cleveland.

What do you think about that?

I'd say you were dreaming.

Doris, they can do just about anything these days.

Why, pretty soon they'll be moving entire armies
halfway around the world in a matter of seconds.

Oh, gracious.

Is that what your son-in-law's doing?

Well, I didn't say that.

Pretty soon that's what they'll be doing.

Well, I don't believe a word of it.

Oh, you don't, huh?

Well, you'll change your tune the day they
vaporize you from here to Walla Walla.

Said all that, huh?

He sure did.

And in a public place where he could be
overheard by 30 people.

Where was that?

Oliver's supermarket.

You mean you followed Bub to the supermarket?

Douglas, we've tailed every member of your
family every time they've left this house.

Even Chip?

Especially Chip.

You never know what a 10-year-old boy's gonna say.

What did he say?

Nothing.

Except he knows that we're following him.

Good.

But your father-in-law talked up a storm
about what you're working on.

You mean about the vaporization of solid objects?

Yes.

We'll have to have an explanation.

Well, I think I can explain it to you.

Danny?

It's, uh, in here someplace.

Oh, here we are.

The monster horse from outer space.

Oh, here we are, on this page right there.

There was only one way to combat the
monster horse from outer space.

The space energizer.

We turned it on our mighty army of the
Potomac, vaporized them, and in a matter

of seconds made them reappear at the North Pole.

All right, Chipper.

Off to school, huh?

Yeah, Dad.

Say, Chip, I have to go down to the,
uh, federal security office this afternoon.

I was thinking, uh, how would you like to go down and
maybe meet some of the, the federal security operatives?

Federal security?

Yeah.

Boy, what a... Well, fine.

I'll pick you up here after school about four O'clock.

Okay, I'll be ready.

Well, I'd like to see Ernie and Richard's
father get them into federal security.

This is what I call important.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Steve.

Yeah, Bub?

I was cleaning up that mess you left upstairs and I
found something real interesting in this, uh, comic book.

Oh, what's a comic book What comic book is that, Bub?

Well, it's called, uh, The Monster Horse from Outer Space.

It's about a space energizer that vaporizes solid objects.

Oh, what do you know?

You didn't tell me anything, did you, Buster?

Well, nothing that wasn't in The Monster
Horse from Outer Space.

You know, this, uh, security thing was a
little tough on the family for a while,

but, uh, well, you can see that it was necessary.

Of course, now that, uh, the project is
completed, I can tell you what it was all about.

You see, what I was really working on was
a type of m*ssile.

In a matter of seconds.

Isn't that something?

Coming up later, we'll award you an Oscar
and a Tony in an Emmy winning show.

The Odd Couple.

Catch back-to-back episodes starting at
noon, 9 Pacific, right here on TV Land,

the Rewatchability Network.