04x18 - Never Look Back

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring,

oh, here's a good one, hack-a-sack-a,
lack-a-sack-a, rack-a-sack-a,

chew-a-taback-a, riddle-rattle-rattle-riddle, Polly,

get your fuma-diddle, giro, Cairo, zis, boom, bah,
mid west, mid west, rah, rah, rah, ha, how about that?

That.

Polly, get your fuma-diddle?

That's what the man said.

Dad, what does Polly, get your fuma-diddle mean?

What, Polly, get your fuma-diddle?

Well, that means, uh, I don't know, Rob.

Boy, what a cheering section we had back at Midwest.

Bob, isn't it funny that I can remember
those yells after all these years?

Hey, Dad, in the olden days when you went
to college, did everybody yell this stuff?

Sure, they all yelled it.

When, uh, dressed like that?

Yeah.

As a matter of fact, this is my old coat.

Had it up in the attic.

It's got a few moth holes in it.

Many's the time I was happy I had this old coat on
when I had to ride in the Rumble seat, I want to tell you.

The what?

The Rumble seat.

You know, the... Well, I guess you don't, do you, Chip?

Well, the Rumble seat was the... I'll show
you a picture sometime.

When is the class reunion, Dad?

Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.

Say, it was kind of clever of them to send
these hats as reminders, huh?

I suppose some guys will be dumb enough to go.

What do you mean by that, Bob?

All that stuff's for the birds.

Well, I don't know, Bob.

I was kind of thinking I might have to go.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I might go myself.

You've got to be kidding.

Spend two whole days with a lot of guys
you haven't seen in 25 years?

Well, why not, Bob?

Sounds neat to me.

As a matter of fact, I was sort of looking
forward to seeing the old g*ng.

You know, guys like Cyclone Collins,
Shotput Malone, Squeaky Gates,

Heather Marlowe.

A guy named Heather?

Well, they'll all be bald, bad-tempered, and bulging.

Oh, I don't think so, Bob.

I'm not bald, bad-tempered, or bulging, am I?

Well, now, don't say I didn't warn you.

You know something?

I'm going.

I'm definitely going back to old Midwest U.

How we loved the Alma mater, and will e'er be true.

Higher learning's fairest, daughter.

Hail to Midwest U.

Hack-a-sack-a, rack-a-sack-a,
lack-a-sack-a, chew-a-the-back-a, hi.

Sell them the popcorn.

Sell them the popcorn.

Come on, sell them primary.

Hit them, go in them.

That's pretty good, Chip.

Not as good as Polly gets your puma diddle.

Oh, well, nothing can top that.

What's your dad doing now?

He's trying to get into an old tux that he
says he wore to the senior prom.

I don't think he'll make it.

He'll be playing his sax next.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Hey, sounds pretty good.

I thought I'd better get out of the
mothballs and practice up on it a little.

I'm taking it back to the reunion.

Oh, yeah?

Is this your old yearbook?

Yeah, that's the old yearbook.

It's our engineering class.

Who's the girl, then?

Oh, that's Heather Marlowe.

She was the only girl in the class.

She's pretty good looking for an engineer.

Yeah, she was pretty good.

Where's your picture?

I'm right here.

Oh, yeah, Steve Douglas.

With slide rule and T-square, Steve goes
out to reconstruct the world.

If these let him down, he can always put
on his dancing shoes.

Dancing shoes?

Well, the dancing shoes part's kind of a joke.

Heather and I entered.

We had a Big Apple contest one time.

Big Apple?

You remember the dance, the Big Apple.

No, of course you don't.

Well, it had different steps in it.

The shag, trucking, Susie Q.

You entered a dancing contest?

Sure.

Well, did you win anything?

No.

No, she was a wonderful dancer, but I was pretty bad.

She really could do the Susie Q.

Susie Q?

Yeah.

Well, I gotta run.

I promise Susie, Sally, that I'd take her
to a symposium on After 50 What.

See you then.

See you.

Bub, why don't you want him to go to the reunion?

Yeah, it sounds like fun to me.

Well, if I hadn't seen some friends for 25
years, I'd sure want to go.

Well, Steve is thinking of those guys the way
they were, wiggly season the way they are now.

Holy tomatoes.

Want me to give you a hand with that, Bub?

I'm trying to keep it clean.

Hey, Rob.

Have you ever seen anybody after you
haven't seen them for a long time?

Well, uh, Rango Milford went away all summer once.

Well, when he came back, was it like Bub said?

Uh-uh.

The only difference was that Rango had
learned how to Indian wrestle.

Did that make you feel bad?

Not after I figured out a way to beat him.

Everybody I know, I see practically every day.

Yeah, same here.

I've been through grade school and high
school with the same kids.

Except for Pee Wee Andrews, who moved to
the other side of town.

There was Georgie Williams.

I kind of like him.

I turned the eighth grade.

A girl named Georgie?

Yeah.

Yeah, her real name was Georgina.

But she'd slug anybody who called her that.

She went to some girl's school after the eighth grade.

She sure was a good football player.

Pee Wee was as old as I am, but he was smaller.

He used to be the only kid in the whole
neighborhood who used to be scared of me.

Kind of miss him.

No, I never could beat Georgie at arm wrestling.

I haven't seen Pee Wee for a whole year.

Good old Georgie Williams.

Oh, you know, it'd sure be fun to throw
her a few passes again.

That girl's a born receiver.

Hi.

Hi.

Let's go over to Pee Wee Andrews' house.

How come?

I just want to see him.

You mean we're walking all across town
just so you can look at Pee Wee Andrews?

Yep.

Buster's I'm going to be sorry when I see Pee Wee.

I'll bet Pee Wee's the one who's going to be sorry.

You were always clunking him once, remember?

Yeah.

Really, John would clunk you once.

And you would clunk me.

And you would clunk old Pee Wee.

I'm not clunking him today.

I'm just looking at him.

It'll be what they call a reunion.

Hi, Miss Williams.

Is Georgie home?

Georgie?

Well, Georgina.

Yes, she is.

Was she expecting you?

No.

No, I haven't seen her for quite a while.

I should remember you.

Robbie Douglas.

Robbie Douglas, of course.

Gina, Georgie was so fond of you.

Come in, Robbie.

Thank you.

I believe Gina's dressing for some show at school.

Let me tell her you're here.

Make yourself at home.

Okay, thank you.

Gina?

Gina?

And if you can still get it, Jack Terrell will And people
think Jack's on the round of this house with b*tch Tracy.

But I was off thinking about estimated的话 Diana!

Being too young, they think it's bad.

I love all the g*y things in these houses.

Yes.

But we were bleeding the hard bus Koh gris weekend
of ours, you and your dad making pie and beer videos.

Richard, I don't really have a crush on you.

I think he's you.

I mean,

he's got a mom, though.

Yeah, for sure.

No, mom definitely.

My mom has the confidence.

Oh, oh, my.

I'm Chip Douglas, you know, from the old g*ng.

Oh, yeah.

You're the big kid who used to run me ragging.

Now I'm the little kid who doesn't do it anymore.

You wouldn't hit a little kid, would you, Rocky?

Why not?

Oh, it's been nice.

See you around.

Remember the time you guys
were playing ball, and every time

somebody hit it over the fence,
you made me go and chase it?

You were a great little chaser, Pee-wee.

I mean, Rocky.

Right.

Now I'm gonna chase you all the way home.

Boy, Bub was right.

Reunions are for the birds.

Ah, Pee-wee!

Robbie?

Georgie?

This is a pleasant surprise.

Georgie Williams?

Nowadays, most of my friends call me Gina.

Please sit down.

May I take the lamp?

Oh, no.

I was just clearing off the table because it
looked like a good place where we could, uh.

...

well, it's okay.

Please excuse my appearance.

I'm sure I seem overdressed, but I'm
modeling in the charity fashion show at school.

Well, you look fine.

Still interested in football, I see.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm still interested.

Uh, I don't suppose you are.

I mean, interested in football.

I saw a few games last season.

I suppose you're as confused and excited
as the rest of us with the prospects of college.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm pretty confused, all right.

There's so many things to consider.

The cost of college, the choice of major,
and then, of course, there's Bill.

He's been talking marriage after high school.

But I don't feel I'm ready to settle down
yet, and neither is Bill.

Well, that makes three of us.

Oh, well, listen to me doing all the talking
and not giving you a chance to say a word.

Well, no, there's not much to talk about.

Well, except that I still like football.

Oh, Robbie, I'm so sorry, but I do have to be
at the high school in less than a half an hour.

Was there some special reason for your dropping by?

No.

Well, I was just in the neighborhood, and I
thought it might be nice to have a reunion.

It has been nice.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gee, I'm sorry.

No harm done.

That was a pretty good catch.

Please remember me to your father and brothers.

Oh, sure.

Goodbye, Robbie.

Bye, Georgie.

Uh, Gina.

That football sure lost a great little receiver there.

Hacker, sacker, lacquer, sacker, racker, sacker.

Oh, hi, Chipper.

Hi, Dad.

What's all this junk?

Well, it isn't junk exactly, Chip.

It's just some things I kind of kept from my college days.

Like this.

I remember one night a bunch of fellas
came over from Tate University and painted

the word Tate right across the front of
the girls' dormitory.

So the next night a bunch of us fellas
went over and painted the statue of old

Horace Tate, a bright red, and said,
this is the brush I use.

Of course, the next day the Dean of men made us go
over and clean the statue up and take all the paint off.

But we left just a little bit of paint in his eyes,
you know, sort of make him look bloodshot.

Dad, I... Hey, look here.

Here's the handle to the Rumble seat in
old Bushy Johnson's car.

You know, the night after the
senior prom, Heather and I decided

that nobody else should ever sit in that Rumble seat again.

So we took the handle off.

Dad, I wanted to... And that same
night, Larry Trencherman and his

feverish five were playing for the
prom, and he gave Heather his Baton.

You know, for a souvenir.

I wonder if she still has it.

Is something on your mind, Chipper?

Yeah, Dad.

I wanted to tell you that I... Well, look at here.

Here's the student paper that came out the
morning after old Raj Purefoy and I played.

Dipsy Doodle on the Carolina Gulls in the student building.

Oh, going to hit 12.

With this one, we put in money every week
for 40 years, and then when you turn 61,

you're guaranteed... 61?

I'm not even thinking past next week.

It's just a few dollars out of my pay envelope each week,
and when you graduate and start working, we double it.

Oh, just think, honey, by the time we're 65, we'll be...

We'll be two old folks wondering why we wasted
so much of our youth worrying about our old age.

Mike, I tried to tell Dad, but he wouldn't listen.

Chip, don't you think Dad's old enough to
make up his own mind?

But, Mike, he's going back to Midwest.

Nobody will be the same.

Yeah, he talks as if Bushy Johnson will still
be driving a Rumble seat, whatever that is.

Mike, you're going to college?

Couldn't you think of some way to stop him?

All right, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll call Ted Cooper.

Oh, good.

Who's he?

He's a transfer from Midwest University.

He went there last semester.

He can sort of prepare Dad for some of the changes.

Mike tells me you're planning a trip to
Midwest University soon, Mr. Douglas.

Yeah, that's right, Ted.

The 25th reunion of my class.



Well, you're going to find a lot of changes on the campus.

But I bet the old Midwest spirit hasn't changed.

Or her standards.

Higher learnings, fairest daughters.

Beg pardon, sir?

Well, the Alma mater.

Oh, I guess that must be the old Alma mater.

The Dean of the music school wrote a new
one about five years ago.

The Dean of the music school.

Old Rosin Reeves.

No, it's Dr. Archibald.

Old Rosin isn't there anymore.

He was the originator of the spring song fest, you know.

Oh, is that right?

Yeah, you know, where the dorms and
fraternities and sororities all have an entry.

Hmm.

Of course, they all wanted to sing Annie
Lloyd because that was old Rosin's

favorite song and he was the chairman of
the judging committee.

Now, there's something really inspirational
about those spring song fests, isn't there?

The music drifting out over Bainbridge Meadows.

Bainbridge Meadows?

In back of the field house.

Oh, well, that's Trailer Village now where
the married students live.

Oh.

I remember our fraternity won it one year.

Big trophy.

We took it right down to the old shake shop.

The shake shop?

Uh, across from the library.

Oh, well, uh, that's the physics building in the cyclotron.

You know, the trophy must have been this
big around and about this high,

and we had the whole thing filled with chocolate malts.

Oh, what a night.

I bet they're still talking about it.

You know, the first thing I'm going to do
when I get back there, I'm going down to

the old shake shop and have a big, thick double malt.

Well, I better start getting my things together.

I'm going to go up to the attic and get my suitcase.

It's been nice to talk to you, Ted.

Thank you, sir.

Michael.

Be right down.

I have to go up and get my suitcase out of the attic.

Did Ted fill you in on old Midwest?

Yeah, sort of.

You know, he's a nice enough fellow, Mike, but he's one of
those students that will never have the old college spirit.

Alamivo!

Alamivo!

Alamivo!

Alamivo!

Bub's got a rat trap bigger than a cat trap.

Bub's got a rat trap bigger than a cat trap.

Now!

Oh, Midwest, Midwest, rah, rah, rah!

What's he doing now?

He's packing.

I bet you he can't decide whether to wear his coat
and pack his sacks, or pack his coat and carry his sacks.

I wonder if there's anybody Dad used to
clunk, like I used to clunk Peewee.

I mean, Rocky.

He won't stay for the whole thing.

After he gets one look at those old chums of
his, he'll grab the first plane and come home.

Talk to you, Bucky.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

Dad, there's a lady downstairs to see you.

Her name is Heather Marlowe.

Heather?

Yeah.

Heather Marlowe?

Well, that's what she said.

Here?

Yeah.

To see me?

Well, you got it, Dad.

Well, Rob, tell her I'll be right down.

Okay.

Heather Marlowe.

It's been a long time.

Yes, I know.

You look great, just great.

Well, thank you.

I was a little worried for fear you'd think I had changed.

I was a little worried about the same thing.

Oh, no, Steve, you look just the same.

Let me take your coat, Heather.

You know, it's funny you should come by.

I was just upstairs packing to go to the reunion.

Well, I was going, too.

You were?

Yes, and then on the plane, I began wondering, suppose
it turns out as badly as my friends have been telling me.

You know my friends have been telling me?

Oh, I had to change planes here,
and I remembered you lived at Bryant Park.

So you came out to use me as a test case.

I did.

Passed the test with flying colors.

Let me hang up your coat.

Thank you.

Sit down, Heather.

Thank you.

All right, you fellas, quit lurking in the kitchen.

Come on in.

Hi.

Hello there.

Heather, this is my father-in-law, Bub O'Casey.

Hello, Heather.

And this is my youngest.

I'm Chip.

How do you do, Chip?

You've met Robbie, and my oldest boy,
Mike, is out with a girl.

Oh.

Remember I was telling you last night how
Heather and I went to school together?

Yeah.

Good old Midwest you.

How we love the Alma mater, and will there be truth.

Highest learning, fairest daughters, hail to Midwest you.

Well, they know it.

Well, I've been singing it around the house lately.

Oh, I know, I know, I know, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Ann, oh, here we go.

Oh, boy.

Professionals.

Here, and we turn.

Truck, truck, huh?

That's it.

Is that what that is?

Is that?

Back the other way.

There.

Oh.

I know, I know.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

Now if I could only see a Rumble seat.

Hey, I've got something I want to show you.

Excuse me.

Okay.

Okay, Chip, up to bed.

Okay, Bub.

Nice to meet you, Heather.

Thank you.

Nice meeting you, Chip.

Good night.

Night.

Night, Bub.

Night, Bub.

Night, Chip.

Oh, here, Mr. O'Casey, let me help you.

No, no, no, no.

Robbie will help me.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Boy, those dances are sure wild, aren't they, Bub?

Yeah, you should have seen the college
dances we did in my day.

Well, I didn't know you went to college, Bub.

I didn't.

Too busy dancing.

Heather, do you remember this?

Oh, Steve, it is me.

Yeah, I bet old bushy Jocelyn's still
trying to open his rubble seat.

I have something to show you.

Go on.

Remember this?

I'm sure.

It's Larry Trenchman's Baton, the one you
got the night of the prom.

That's right.

I was telling Chip about that.

I've kept it all these years.

I suppose it's kind of silly to hang out of
these things, but... Oh, the memories are so nice.

Yeah.

Oh, would you care to dance?

I would love to.

Guess that proves that it's not so bad to look back after.

It doesn't prove any such thing.

Well, gee, Bub, Miss Marlowe hasn't changed.

And Dad's not disappointed.

What shows you when you look back,
be careful where you look.

And be careful of those plates, Penelope.

You know, your oldest boy, the one I
didn't have a chance to meet... Mike.

He's in college, isn't he?

Yes, he's in college.

Oh.

I just hope he's having as good a time as we did.

I'm sure he is.

In his own way.

But what's wrong with discussing our retirement plans now?

Sally.

Why be afraid to look ahead?

You know, Heather, I don't think I'll go
back to the reunion after all.

I've, uh...

Well, I've had my reunion.

Steve, I was just thinking the same thing.

We'd better quit while we're ahead.

It's nice to have a memory where so well.

Yes, it is.

Coming up later, we'll award you an Oscar
and a Tony in an Emmy-winning show.

The Odd Couple.

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