04x23 - Stone Frog

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Starring Fred McMurray And as Bub, William Frawley.

Betcha I can step on more cracks than you can.

For what?

Betcha I can beat you down to the corner.

Who cares?

Boy, are you cheerful.

Boy, do you ever feel clunky and you can't remember why?

No.

I don't feel so good now because I
remember we had that distance that Friday.

This Friday?

Yep.

Boy, I wish you had to remind me why I feel so clunky.

Hey, look!

Like soap starts.

Maybe he's giving away free samples.

Soap?

Yeah!

Could you direct me to this address?

Do you have any samples of anything except soap suds?

Samples?

He says that you're the soap sud salesman.

I did not.

You did so.

Ah, I see.

No, I am not the soap sud salesman.

I wear the native headdress of an Indian.

An Indian?

What kind of an Indian wears a beehive on
his head instead of feathers?

An East Indian.

From India.

Do you know where 36... Summer Street is?

Yeah, that's only a couple blocks away.

We'll take you there.

Thank you, sir.

Then you must accept this in return for being my guy.

Hey, hey.

Oh, it's okay.

We're not allowed to accept money for
being polite to people.

I am.

Well, you're not.

At least you must allow my cousin to offer
you a small suite.

She lives at 36 Summer Street.

That'd be swell, mister.

If he wants us to eat some candy, we have to do it.

That's a motto for... On policy.

Wow.

Anyway, it's just worth it.

Raji.

Namaste.

Sirani.

These are my friends, Chip and Ernie.

This is my cousin, Sirani.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Hiya.

I lost my way from the bus station, and they rescued me.

I have promised them candy as a reward.

Chip, Ernie, please come in.

Now, make yourselves comfortable.

I shall see if I can find some candy.

Please, young gentleman, may I take your books?

Boy, it's kind of scary.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

They're called meat tires.

They're made of crushed sesame seeds.

It's good.

It is a favorite with our children in Bombay.

Yeah, great.

So the little frog interests you, Chip.

Yes, ma'am.

He's neat.

It is not an ordinary frog.

It has a strange and wonderful charm.

Charm?

Well, what you might call magic.

Magic?

If you hold it in your hand and wish very
hard, your wish will be granted.

No fooling?

I would be pleased if you would accept it.

Really?

Yes.

Gosh, thanks.

One magic frog.

He'd be like Aladdin.

Yeah.

It's got writing on the bottom.

An Indian or something.

Something.

It says Bombay, Manbana High.

Bombay, Manbana High.

It even sounds like magic.

Now, Ernie, you also must have something.

Since you so enjoy me diet, you shall have the whole box.

All of it?

Yes.

Remember our foreign policy.

Thanks.

Bombay, Manbana High.

Bombay, Manbana High.

Hi.

Bombay, Manbana High.

Are you talking to me?

No, I'm concentrating.

On what?

A frog.

A frog?

A frog?

How would you like to concentrate on some ice cream?

Cherry nut?

No, chocolate.

Oh, I wish we had some cherry nut around here for a treat.

You just wished yourself out of a dish of
ice cream, because I got chocolate.

Okay, I'll take chocolate.

You'll take cherry nut and like it.

My gosh, I made a mistake.

It worked.

What worked?

Well, when you were coming in the door, I
was holding the frog and seeing the magic words.

Never mind.

A kid like me doesn't believe it.

You wouldn't for sure.

Can I have some, Bub?

After dinner.

Cherry nut.

What?

Can I ask you something?

Hi, Dallas.

Hi, Chip.

Later, huh, Chip?

Is there such thing as magic?

No, there isn't.

Well, I mean, like you make a wish, and then you
say some magic words, and then a thing comes true.

I told you, no.

Then how come I was wishing for cherry nut ice cream, and
Bub bought chocolate, only it turned out to be cherry nut?

Could we have that again, please, in English?

Chip, Sally and I are busy.

Could it be because I wished on my frog?

No.

No.

Now, would you please take your frog and your
business about chocolate ice cream and leave?

It's cherry nut.

I don't care if it's pimento.

Beat it.

Let's just try it.

Say, Bombay, men, Benahane, then touch the
frog and make a wish.

Go on, Mike.

Bombay, men, Benahane, and I wish you'd leave.

See, it worked.

You wished that I'd get out of the room, and I did.

Now, you try it, Sally.

Now, I told you to get out of here, Chip.

Yeah, but, Mike, I never believed anything
I'd say in the first place.

And if Dad was here, and I told him about
saying Bombay, men, Benahane, he'd tell

you to quit picking on me, and I just wish Dad was here.

Hey.

Hey, what's going on?

Dad, what are you doing home?

Well, I usually come home when I leave the office.

I left for work this morning.

I told you I'd come home early and take
you down to get your hair cut.

Well, yeah, but what about the cherry nut ice cream?

I might wish that I'd get out of the room, and I did.

Well, I think he would have left the dining room
whether Mike had wished for it or not, wouldn't you?

Well, what about the ice cream?

Well, Bub just happened to pick up the
wrong flavor when he went shopping.

Well, yeah, but the lady said the frog was fetish.

Chip, it's like fairy tales and science fiction.

A lot of people pretend to take it
seriously, but they really don't.

But she wasn't pretending, Dad.

She lived in this dark, spooky room,
and she had on this long dress and a scarf.

That sounds a little scary.

Hey, there she is, Miss Ramon.

Dad, aren't you going to ask her about the magic?

Yes, I think I will, Chip.

Hi, Miss Ramon.

Hello, Chip.

I'd like you to meet my father, Mr. Douglas.

Dad, this is Miss Ramon.

How do you do, Miss Ramon?

How do you do, Mr. Douglas?

You know, the way Chip describes you,
I got the impression that you were...

Dad, aren't you going to ask her about the magic?

Oh, yes, yes.

Chip, you'd better get in the barbershop.

It's getting a little late.

Okay.

Well, what brings you to Bryant Park, Miss Ramon?

Oh, I came over to the university for my doctorate.

Your doctorate?

Well... You wanted me to explain about the stone frog?

Oh, yes.

It was very nice of you to give it to Chip, but for
some reason or other, he has the idea that it's magic.

Yes, I told him it was.

Oh, you did?

Why?

Because it is.

Magic?

Is it so fantastic?

But a stone frog?

Yes, Mr. Douglas.

Mr. Douglas, like these bees.

They have been in my family for many, many generations.

They are my love.

For hundreds of years, we, Ramas,
have wished upon these bees.

You have?

Dad?

Did Mr. Ramas explain to you about the frog?

Well, in a way, Chip.

Aren't you going to get your hair cut?

No, they're closing early today.

Oh.

Well, I guess the magic frog doesn't work for me.

I was hoping that while Chip was getting his
hair cut, you could join me for a cup of coffee.

Dad, can I go over to the sporting goods
store and start a mess around for a while?

Yeah, sure.

Run along, Chester.

Bye, Mr. Rahmett.

I'll pick up in a little while.

Well, maybe he does work after all.

Unfortunately, I have another appointment
and I'm already late.

But perhaps we can meet again.

I hope so.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr. Rahmett.

Bub wants to know if you're going to have
sandwiches tomorrow or eat in the cafeteria.

You don't know me, but my name is Robbie Douglas.

I know your name.

I was just trying to think something out.

What's your name?

Dolores Mckenzie.

Who said anything about a girl?

I can always tell when you get that sort
of sick sideways look on your face.

If you want to date with her, just use this.

Use it for what?

It's my magic frog.

Just rub it and say the magic words, Bombay, mine, Bonahai.

Bombay, mine, Bonahai.

What's that mean?

I don't know, but it's magic.

Go ahead, wish for a date.

I'm wishing for a date with Dolores Mckenzie,
all right, but it's going to take more than a frog.

I guess I'll have to use my wit and charm.

Um, Dolores, you may think you don't know
me, but I think my name is Robbie Douglas.

Why come nobody ever believes me around here?

Hello?

Yeah, this is Robbie Douglas.

Dolores?

Dolores Mckenzie?

Yeah, it is a surprise, but it's the kind
of surprise that's very surprising.

Tomorrow night?

I'd love to.

Yeah.

Pick you up at 7.

Oh, sure.

No, I was going to ask you if you didn't ask
me, if I'd known you were going to ask me.

All right, Dolores.

I'll see you tomorrow night.

Goodbye.

Now you believe me?

My gosh.

Hey.

You guys.

Hey.

I was just wishing for a date with Dolores Mckenzie.

And he was even holding my frog.

And she just called me up.

And Dad said Miss Vermont wasn't a gypsy at all.

She was just studying at college.

Chip, I know all about Miss Vermont.

Dad said she's entitled.

She's entitled to her own particular beliefs.

But he also said in this house,
there's no such thing as magic.

Well, if there was, you could use Chip's
frog when you're talking to the Dean.

The Dean wouldn't listen to me if I had 50 frogs.

I'm just going over there because I promised Sally I would.

Bombay mine, Bonahide.

What are you wishing for, Rock?

It's for a special occasion, Chip.

Chip, everything has a logical explanation.

You can demonstrate it scientifically.

Hey, look at that.

I found five bucks in my pocket.

Mike, could I borrow that five bucks?

Yeah, I guess so.

This is what I was wishing for.

Honest, this is what I was wishing for.

You are the fastest, most amazing little
frog I've ever met.

Thank you.

What do you mean, thank you to the frog?

I loaned you the five bucks.

It worked again.

All he did was rub the frog.

He did the magic work.

Well, I don't know whether he rubbed the frog
or not, but it doesn't have anything to do with this.

I found five dollars.

It's just a coincidence.

So that proves it's magic.

It doesn't prove anything of the kind.

There is no such thing as magic.

Will you get that through your head?

This is a plain old ordinary stone frog.

The end.

Okay?

Okay.

Bub, would you please press this before I
go see the Dean tomorrow?

Sure, I'll wave an iron over it.

Thank you very much.

I'm afraid we got frog trouble.

Oh, witchcraft raises its ugly head, huh?

I tried to explain to Chip that there's no such thing.

He keeps quoting from the Arabian Nights.

Oh, well, Mike, I think all kids want to believe in magic.

I remember when you were a little fella, you had a
magic cloak that you believed made you invisible.

But he's actually convinced Rob and Bub.

They may all start holding voodoo rights around here.

Just as long as we don't cast spells on our neighbors.

Dad, Chip is going to tell you he got a D
on a history test today.

Oh, he is?

I doubt he'll tell you why, though.

Well, there can only be one reason, Mike.

He just didn't study hard enough.

He didn't study at all.

Oh, I see.

He expected his magic to be a magic frog
to pull him through that test.

Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to have
a little talk with Miss Ramat.

Mr. Douglas, Namaste.

Won't you please come in?

Thank you.

Miss Ramat, we seem to be having a little
problem at our house.

I hate to come here and bother you.

But I'm so pleased.

As a matter of fact, it was I who wished for you to come.

Now, that's exactly what I wanted to talk to you about.

This wishing business has gotten just a little out of hand.

Mr. Douglas, I have some friends visiting my cousin.

I would like you to meet them.

Well, that would be very nice, but I have this
problem with Chip and that frog you gave him.

I understand, but I would very much like
for you to understand.

Would you do me the honor?

Yes, of course.

Mr. Douglas, I would like you to meet Shankara.

How do you do?

And my cousin Rajeev.

How do you do?

And Sadi, a master of yoga.

How do you do?

Sadi is now in the yoga mudra posture.

His control is flawless.

Yes, well, you can see that.

He certainly is limber, isn't he?

It is very important that you see this.

Mr. Douglas, won't you sit down?

Yes, thank you.

Through the control of his mind and body,
Sadi is capable of truly unusual feats.

Like, uh, magic?

Mr. Douglas is a skeptic.

A scientist.

He believes only what his senses tell him.

But I hope that Sadi will convince him that there
are things which the scientist cannot yet explain.

How long will he, uh, be able to hold that position?

He can hold it as long as he likes.

What's his record?

Yoga is not a matter of records.

It is a way of life.

He will assume another position.

You see, there are many nerve centers throughout the body.

And there are 86 major yoga postures,
each of which affects a different nerve center.

Well, this is all, uh, very interesting,
but I can't quite see how it...

Mr. Douglas, even a scientist will admit
that mind controls the body, yes?

What Sadi does is an example of willpower
to an extreme degree.

Uh, I can see that.

But, uh... When the mind is completely controlled,
it performs feats which you would call magic.

But to us, it is only the unexplored
powers of the human mind.

For example, this ring was blessed by my great guru.

With it, I am able to communicate with him at will.

Is that so?

Uh, where does he live?

Near the boundary of Tibet.

Well, that certainly is communication, isn't it?

Tell Mr. Douglas how old your guru is.

Over 400.

Years?

Yes.

Well, you, uh, really believe that, huh?

This is merely another example of the
powers of the mind over the body.

Wait.

You can see for yourself.

Will you please come over here for a moment, Mr. Douglas?

Sure.

To demonstrate, Zaddy will stop his heart from beating.

Stop his heart?

Yes.

Well, now, wait a minute.

I've heard about this sort of thing, but I...

Look, this can't be healthy.

I mean, what if he should stall or something?

You're right, it's stopping.

It stopped.

But it, it, it's starting again.

Yeah, it, it, it's going.

Is he all right now?

Oh, yes, of course.

Actually, his heartbeat never really stopped.

Zaddy slowed it down to a point where it
appeared to have stopped.

Oh.

And when he comes out of his trance,
I will ask him to stop breathing.

Oh, I, I wouldn't want to.

No trouble at all.

I'm sure it'd be very interesting, but... I think
we've given Mr. Douglas enough to think about.

You've been out for one afternoon.

Yes, I, uh, I, I think you have.

Goodbye.

It's been very nice to meet you.

Very nice to have met you.

And, uh, thanks.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

And, uh, will you say goodbye to Mr. Zaddy for
me when he returns from, uh, wherever he is?

I certainly will.

Well, that, uh, that was quite an experience, Miss Ramon.

My friends call me Sirani.

Sirani.

Do I perhaps have my wish that what you've seen
in there makes it possible for East and West to meet?

I was just thinking about quotation,
the one that goes, uh, there are more

things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
than I dreamt on in your philosophy.

Maybe you'd better call me Horatio.

I would like Steve better.

Well, let's make it Steve, by all means.

Now, let's go together and talk to your son, Chip.

You understand a little now, but a small boy is easily
confused when East and West meet in Bryant Park.

But you told me, you said it was magic.

And I spoke the truth, Chip.

But there are many different meanings to this word magic,
and I realize that your meaning and mine are not the same.

Yeah, but you said all I had to do was
just hold the frog and wish.

It is useless to wish without using the power of the mind.

No frog is going to pass your history test for you.

But your mind, studying.

Working hard, becoming strong, will lead you to pass.

And your wish will come true.

Do you understand?

Sort of.

But what about the magic words?

What magic words?

On the bottom of the frog, what you said.

Bombay mind gonna high.

I did not say there were magic words, Chip.

But if you want to believe them, you can.

No.

The words on the bottom are Bombay may gonna high.

It means maiden Bombay.

Bombay.

Boy, it sure sounds like magic.

But if you have to use your brain to make
it work, what good is it?

Using the brain does not hurt too much.

Namaste.

Namaste.

Thank you, Sir Ronnie.

Cute little fellow, isn't he?

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all you had to
do was rub his back and make a wish?

I'd love to have dinner with you.

It works.

It works.

The power of the mind.

Yeah, I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.

I guess maybe that's it.