04x29 - The Tree

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My Three Sons.

Starring Well,

the sun was shining bright upon the wet
wash It doesn't take the clothes so long to dry.

If it rains, I'll punch someone in the eye You!

You!

May we come in?

Oh, come in, come in.

You're here.

Doing your laundry?

No, no, no.

I'm just running up the topsoil.

We sail with the tide.

Personally, I prefer a little more bluey.

Well, that's a good thing you don't have to wear them.

I'm Mrs. Adams, and this is Mrs. Hackett.

I can't help that.

What are you girls selling?

Nothing.

See?

We represent the Women's Betterment League.

Good.

I'm all for better women.

We'd like to see the lady of the house.

I'm the lady of the house, and I'm no lady.

Oh?

Well, we ladies are getting up a petition,
and we'd like to have you sign it.

The answer to that is no.

All we want is your signature.

Now the answer is positively no.

You don't even know what this petition is for.

The last time I signed one of those
things, I did a four-year hitch in the Navy.

I'm sure Admiral Dewey was very proud of you.

Come along, Captain.

Obviously, we're wasting our time here.

Obviously.

Admiral Dewey was very proud of me.

And I was very proud of him.

More bluing.

Thanks for walking me home, Robbie.

Heck, thank you.

Do you want me to carry these in the house for you?

No, thanks, Robbie.

I can manage them without straining myself.

You know, Juliet, you're different from
the other girls at school.

Oh?

How am I different?

Well, you're not flashy like Marge, Arlene, or Helen.

And you're not smart-alecky like Betty, Alice, or Gloria.

And you're not bossy like Yvonne, Eileen, or Teresa.

And you're not yakety-yakin' all the time
like Phyllis, Shirley, and Ava.

Robbie, did you date all those girls?

Oh, I know, Juliet.

I've... not all of them.

You know how it is.

We fellas check.

I don't know if I like that.

Oh, Juliet, don't hold my past against me.

How else can a fella know when the real thing comes along?

I guess that's one of the reasons I like you, Robbie.

You're so sophisticated.

Uh-oh.

Oh, look out.

Here comes Dad.

Mr.

Johnson, that tree is sure in an awkward place.

Well, it won't be for long.

Dad complained to the city.

They're going to cut it down.

Oh, yes, sir.

Anybody would cut down a tree if the
leaves were all over the lawn and if it

wasn't a place where you couldn't help backing into it.

My gosh.

What's your name, young man?

Robbie Douglas, sir.

Well, you've got a lot more sense than
some of these boys Julia drags in.

Thank you, sir.

Hey, Julia, what did your father mean,
some of those boys you drag in?

Well, after all, Robbie, how else is a girl
going to know when the real thing comes along?

Mike, what's a simultaneous equation?

You're taking algebra already?

No, I just want to know what I'm in for.

Beats me.

Algebra?

No, no, those keys that Bob found in my honeycomb pocket.

I wonder if somebody gave it to me to
drive through a gate or something like that.

It doesn't fit anything at the office.

Went out to the club, it doesn't fit in my
locker or anything there either.

Beats me.

Why don't you put it in a drawer and forget it?

Yeah, I guess that's what I'm going to do.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Rob.

What's new?

Oh, I met Julia's father today, Dad.

You met her father, huh?

Yeah.

You're getting kind of serious about Julia, aren't you?

Well, not only serious, dedicated.

Boy, her father sure has a bad temper.

He blew his top just because a tree's getting in his way.

Yeah.

What else can you expect from a tree?

Isn't that a big tree over on Maple?

Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

He complained to the city, so they're
going to cut it down for him.

Cut it down?

I wouldn't be too sure.

Why?

What do you know about it, Chip?

Charlie Martindale's grandmother and a bunch
of other women are getting up a petition to save it.

They think it's beautiful.

Mrs. Martindale?

That's that nice-looking widow that
runs the stationery store, isn't it, Bob?

So that's what that petition was all about, huh?

You know, it'd be kind of a shame to cut down that tree.

It's a... It's a landmark around here.

And your girl's father wants to chop it up
at the kindling, huh?

What kind of a guy is he?

If he doesn't like the tree, why doesn't he move?

Well, because he likes living there, Bob.

Everybody loves trees.

Kids play in them, birds live in them.

Kipling even wrote a poem about them.

Kilmer, Bob.

Joyce Kilmer.

Well, Kipling loved trees, too.

The road to Mandalay had trees on both sides of it.

What are you all upset about?

You don't know one tree from another.

You'll find out, Emery.

Right after dinner, I'm going to phone
Mrs. Martindale and offer my help.

Well, there's a new side to Bub.

Bub the nature lover.

Well, next thing, I'll bet he takes up bird watching.

How come, Dad?

I asked Bub to draw a picture of a tree once.

He said he'd never taken a good look at one.

I don't know, Chip.

It just beats me.

And yesterday, I'm happy to report,
we collected six more signatures.

Hiya, girls.

Yes?

I'm O'Casey, William O'Casey, and I'm joining up.

But yesterday, you said... Well, yesterday,
you caught me with my wet wash down.

I wanted to get it up so it wouldn't mill you.

And you were right about the blue ink.

But yesterday, you said positively no.

Well, yesterday, I didn't know what your petition
was all about, or I'd have signed right then and there.

Because I'm nuts about trees.

I want to help.

Please be seated, Mr. O'Casey.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Mrs.

Martindale?

Oh, why, yes.

Have we met?

Well, no, not formally.

I'm Bill O'Casey.

I dropped into your store one morning to
get a box of thumbtacks.

And they were great.

To continue.

I think we now have enough names to present to the mayor.

Uh, the chair recognizes myself.

Sister.

G-Genevy.

Harriet, 37 names won't exactly overwhelm the mayor.

The chair recognizes Elsie Martindale.

I would like to make a motion.

And I second the motion.

Please, Mr. O'Casey.

Go ahead, Elsie.

I move we get at least a hundred signatures first.

Madam Chairman, may I say something?

Uh, the chair recognizes Mr. O'Casey.

Get at least a hundred?

And then forget about the mayor.

Our councilman is the guy we got to hit with that petition.

He just got in by the skin of his teeth at
the last election.

That baby's going to think twice before he
turns down a hundred voters.

I think it's an excellent suggestion.

Thank you, Elsie.

And those 37 names of yours, why, they're
not even enough to stuff one ballot box.

How are we ever going to get any more?

Publicity.

Get your story in the papers.

Mr. O'Casey, you've just supplied
something we need very badly in this situation.

The masculine touch.

I move that we form a special committee
and put Mr. O'Casey in charge.

Second the motion.

All those in favor, raise the right hand.

The motion is carried unanimously.

A special committee will be formed,
and Mr. O'Casey will serve as chair lady.

Make that chair a man, and you've got yourself a boy.

Pardon me, sir.

I beg your pardon, may I ask you a question?

I'm Hanson of the Clarion.

Well, my name's O'Casey.

The Clarion's a mighty nice paper.

I read it every day.

It's a weekly, sir.

You're right.

Tell me, why are you interested in this tree?

Well, because I love trees.

A tree is a man's best friend.

Well, I thought a dog was a man's best friend.

Well, a tree is a dog's best friend.

Come on, you bunnies, keep moving.

Point there.

Come on, line up.

Miserable old women.

Haven't they anything else to do?

Who's that old coot?

Which old coot?

That one, the one that's running everything.

Gee, I don't know.

Must be some dedicated man who loves trees.

Well, I'll gladly make him a present of that one.

Seems to be the ringleader, all right.

He'd like to wring his neck, you old goat.

If they try this stunt tomorrow,
they're gonna be in for a surprise.

When they show up, I'll turn the hose on them.

I'll soak them good.

Uh, Juliet, do you remember how I was born?

I was telling you about my good old grandfather, Bub.

Yeah, he sounded wonderful.

Yeah.

Well, you can meet him right now if you want.

That's Bub?

That's Bub.

Ah, Juliet, when your father finds out,
it's goodbye, Robbie.

Gee, Robbie, just like the Capulets and Montagues.

Compared to your father, my father and Bub
O'Casey, they didn't know what feuding was.

How come you're a volunteer and we usually
have to drag you in here to help me?

Well, I figured you were pretty tired
walking around all day with a sign.

Did you see me?

I'm a born leader.

Bub, you're making such a big fuss about that tree.

Why don't you just let them cut it down?

Who cares?

That's a fine thing for you to say about a
tree if it means anything to you.

Well, it's doing plenty to Mr. Johnson.

Now, he likes neat driveways and lawns.

What's wrong with that?

He may love lawns, but he hates trees.

We'll be right there on that picket line
in the morning for the television cameras.

Bub, you may run into a little wet weather tomorrow.

Paper say rain?

No, but you'll think it's raining when Mr.
Johnson turns the hose on you.

Soup's ready.

We'll be right back.

Stand back, ladies!

You should be ashamed of yourself turning
a hose on Mr. O'Casey.

Don't you busybodies have anything better to do than to parade
up and down in front of my house with those silly signs?

We've dedicated ourselves to saving this tree.

The tree has got to go.

Those roots are pushing up my driveway.

Mr. O'Casey, are you catching cold?

Bub, we better go home and get you out of
those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia.

Robbie, do you know this old kook?

Mr. Johnson, this old kook happens to be my grandfather.

No wonder they came prepared.

Out!

Out!

Out!

How are you feeling?

Oh, I'll be all right.

Yeah.

Too bad, Robbie.

I had to break up your big romance.

Talk about Romeo and Juliet.

She wouldn't even let me walk her home.

She was afraid her father might see us.

Too bad he's such an old sourpuss.

I say it's too bad he's such an old sourpuss.

I heard you, Bub.

Oh, you got it.

You know, though, Bub, he's really not such a sourpuss.

No.

He's a cheerful old beast.

All the warmth of a barracuda.

Juliet tells me that down deep he's really
soft-hearted and sentimental.

Must be down awful deep.

Last year he took her to the town where he was born.

He showed her his old homestead.

And he started to cry.

Is that so?

Well, that gives me an idea.

Maybe I can break his heart a little.

Coast.

Clear?

Yes.

I just had to see Juliet.

Dad's been watching me like a hawk.

I've missed you so much, Robbie.

Just when we found each other.

I never knew what true love meant.

Really true, I mean.

We said we'd never let anything come between us.

I guess we never figured on a tree.

Juliet, look.

Bub loves Mary.

May 24th, 1909.

So that's why Bub was fighting to save this tree.

Well, why didn't he say so?

I don't know.

I guess he didn't want to admit he's sentimental.

He wants us to think he's tough.



Just think.

All those years ago, another boy and girl
met under this tree.

Just like you and me.

Yeah.

Who was Mary?

She was my grandmother.

I'm going to ask father if there isn't
some way to save this tree.

You don't have to ask me, Juliet.

Dad, how long have you been there?

Long enough.

It's all right, Robbie.

Bub loves Mary.

Why didn't he say something?

I'd have understood.

I'm ashamed.

I thought your grandfather was just a meddling old fool.

Robbie, ask him to drop around tomorrow.

We'll find some way to work this out.

All right.

Why don't you come up the house with us and have some cake?

Oh!

Well, I'm certainly glad I got to know you better, bud.

Same here, Chick.

My club needs a new pinochle hand.

What about my tree, Mr. Johnson?

Your tree, Mrs. Adams?

Well, our tree.

Bub's tree.

Well, what are you going to do about it?

Now, hang on to your hats, girls.

This will flip your wigs.

Tell them, Chick.

Well, I've decided to tear up my old driveway and
build a circular driveway around the roots of the tree.

That way, there'll be no danger of my
damaging them when I drive in and out.

Oh!

That's a great, great idea.

That's something to think about.

Anything to preserve a memory.

We certainly owe a special vote of thanks to Mr. O'Casey.

Now, now, ladies.

Any red-blooded man would have done as much.

Ladies, will you all please come into the
house for some coffee?

Oh, how lovely.

Please do.

Come on right in.

I'll be in in a moment.

See you inside.

Yes, thanks.

Bub?

Come here.

Is everything all right, kids?

Uh, Bub, I was wondering, how could you
have carved that in 1909?

Shh.

Well, you just moved to Bryant Park nine years ago.

Well, couldn't I have passed through in vaudeville?

Yeah, but nobody called you Bub until Chip
started it when he was trying to say Bill.

And that was, what, eight years ago?

Oh, you and your silly arithmetic.

Bub, when did you carve Bub Loves Mary?

Quite recently.

When?

When?

Recently.

Last night.

Last night?

Well, how did you make it look so antique?

Well, I glued some of the bark back so it
would look overgrown.

Well, you mean then you weren't really
fighting for the tree because of Bub Loves Mary?

Not exactly.

Well, what was it all about then?

Bill?

Are you coming in?

Right away, honey.

Any questions?

No, Bub.

No questions.

Now, you be good to her.

Is anybody home?

Is that you, Dad?

Yeah.

Well, why don't you see what I've got?

What?

Look, I found this whole rusty box in the attic.

It's like a miniature trunk.

It's locked.

I can't get inside of it.

Why don't you look around?

There must be a key.

Key?

Yeah, the key.

It fits.

It works.

Mike, it works.

What do you think's inside of it?

It could be jewels or money or bonds or anything.

Oh, I don't...

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Coming up later,

we'll award you an Oscar and a Tony in an
Emmy-winning show, The Odd Couple.