04x37 - Guest in the House

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons.

Starring Fred McMurray And as Bub, William Frawley.

Gentlemen, I'm delighted to be here this evening.

Besides the pleasure of being the only woman, it gives me a

chance to talk about a project
that is very close to my heart.

I am a judge of the juvenile division and
have been for many years.

Day after day, boys and girls in trouble are brought
before me, so-called incorrigibles, from broken homes.

What can I do with them?

What can I do for them?

Last year, I decided to try something different.

I took first-timers and I put them in good
homes, homes such as yours.

There they found out what a happy home life can be.

And it works, gentlemen.

Happiness is contagious.

We've been able to help dozens of boys and girls.

And I'm hoping that some of you will add
your homes to my list.

As a matter of fact, how about some volunteers right now?

How long would they stay?

Well, it depends.

Even a week in the right home can make all the difference.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

Put me at the head of the list.

Thank you, Mr. Branson.

How about you, Steve?

Oh, well, it's a little different at our house.

You see, I'm not... Well, I mean, there's no woman.

That's not important.

Well, another thing.

Bub, that's my father-in-law, does the housekeeping for us.

And, well, he's away on vacation.

Good.

Then his room is vacant.

I'm really not looking for excuses.

No, but you keep on finding them.

Gentlemen, what am I asking at a risk?

A few days of your time?

Perhaps a little inconvenience,
and you may start some boy on a new life.

Well, I'll try it.

Thank you, Mr. Douglas.

Me too, Judge.

Good, thank you, sir.

So I thought the boy could use Bub's room for the week.

Gee, Dad, we promised Bub we'd pay his
room while he was away.

Mike, if being here with us is going to
help this boy improve... It won't work.

Oh, sure will.

Well, I didn't mean that.

Dad, I've seen the kind of guys you're talking about.

You turn one of those guys loose in our house and...

It's a disaster area.

I'm going to be here, Rob.

I'm planning on working here at home all week.

Treat them nice and they'll walk all over you.

Judge Weston doesn't seem to think so.

Well, I guess you didn't hear what those
guys did at the Fletchers.

What'd they do?

Tara Sue Mabry was babysitting at the Fletchers.

All of a sudden, these guys just moved in.

They made her phone the delicatessen and
charged all this food and stuff to the Fletchers.

Rob, I don't think that's going to happen
with one teenager.

Anyway, we'll have them outnumbered.

When the Fletchers got home, they were
locked out of their own house.

Tara Sue said they really messed up the
living room, smashed things.

She said they piled everything in the
middle of the floor, pictures,

chairs, furniture.

They were going to set fire to it.

How come they were going to build a fire
in the middle of the living room?

To roast marshmallows.

Those are the kind of guys that smear
paint all over cars and break street lamps.

Well, I have to go upstairs and finish some work.

Thanks for the ice cream.

But before I go, I just want to say I've
heard about the things these characters do.

But let's give this boy the benefit of the doubt, shall we?

For the week he's here, I want you to make
him feel that we trust him.

That he's one of our family.

I'm counting on you fellas to make him feel at home.

Right?

Look at that.

You know, I don't think Dad understands me.

He's just too kind-hearted.

You know, it's going to be up to us.

We've got to make sure that this guy
doesn't take advantage of Dad.

Oh, this darn thing.

We'll.

Have to postpone the boy's visit, Judge Weston.

I'm sorry I couldn't have given you more
notice, but I received this call from

Washington about an hour ago, and I'm due
at the air base in about 20 minutes.

I understand, Mr. Duggar.

Okay.

I'll call you in the middle when I get
back, and we'll set it up for him then.

Fine.

Have a safe trip.

Thanks very much, Judge Weston.

Bye.

Let's see.

Is there emergency money and food?

I guess that takes care of everything.

Hello.

Steve?

Oh, Bob.

Well, how's the vacation going?

Great.

Just great.

The fish are biting and the mosquitoes ain't.

You should have seen the string of perch that
goggle-eyed Charlie brought in yesterday afternoon.

Bob, look, I'm in a hurry.

Well, I just called you to tell you about
the rag rod and the golden weed.

The rag rod?

Oh, you mean... Yeah, they're
blowing here all over the place.

Gilbert's hay fever's so bad he can't hardly breathe.

Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that, Bob, but who's Gilbert?

Gilbert Thornberry, Charlie's nephew.

Oh.

I told him he could use my room for a few
days and get out of this pollen.

It's driving him crazy.

Well, look, Bob...

I knew you wouldn't mind.

He's a nice kid about Robbie's age.

Quiet and shy.

He won't be any trouble at all.

Well, the only thing is... He's taking the bus.

He'll be there sometime this afternoon.

Okay?

But...

Well, that'll be fine, Bob.

Yeah, yeah.

Thanks, Steve.

Good night, Bobby.

You're welcome.

Goodbye.

Gilbert Thornberry.

Yeah.

Your boy's had an emergency call.

He'll be gone a week.

Charge what you need at the grocery.

I'll phone you later.

Dad.

Gilbert Thornberry will be here this afternoon.

Be nice to him.

Who's Gilbert Thornberry?

Who else?

The delinquent.

He's still coming?

I guess so.

That's what it says.

Boy, Dad invites a delinquent.

Then runs out.

Must have been too late to stop him.

Boy, when that character finds out Dad's
not here, will he try to take over?

Oh, Robbie.

What do you call him?

Ernie.

I want to see if I can spend the week with him.

Chip, we'll be all right so long as we stick together.

Right.

The thing is, we gotta let this Gilbert guy know
from the very beginning that he can't push us around.

But suppose he can?

Chip, don't worry about it.

If he starts any trouble... No,
we don't wait till he starts trouble.

We gotta keep one jump ahead of him.

All the time.

Tough.

Yeah, well, remember, Dad said to be nice to him.

All right, go ahead.

You be nice to him.

But don't come crying on my shoulder when
he tries to pile all the furniture in the

middle of the room and sends out for marshmallows.

It's him.

Now, remember, you guys, this is,
uh, this is just a disturbed kid.

He's not public enemy number one.

Yeah, well, at least we got him three to
one in case he tries to start anything.

Thank you.

Excuse me, uh, I'm, uh, Gilbert Thornberry.

Oh, it's, uh, it's all right then?

You were expecting me?

Yeah, we're ready for you.

Well, may I, uh, may I come in?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Robbie, Mike, and, uh, Chip.

You know our names?

I've heard a lot about y'all.

Yeah, well, we know plenty about you, too, Thornberry.

Well, I, uh, I wasn't exactly sure how you'd
feel having a stranger move in and take over.

You're moving in, but you're not taking over.

Well, no, no, uh, what I'm...

Excuse me, uh, Bermuda grass or,
uh, cottonwood or maybe a Rose garden?

Huh?

What?

Well, you, uh, you do know what my trouble
is, why I needed to get away from home?

Yeah, yeah, Dad explained.

Of course I, uh, it might be just as bad here.

Look, Gilbert, uh, if you start out
thinking it won't work, it probably won't.

Yeah, probably won't.

Going to a new place usually helps at
first, but then after a few days,

it's the same old story.

Pow, I'm out of control.

Look, Thornberry, if you think you're
scaring us with that kind of talk... Are you?

You don't think it's catching, do you?

No, I don't.

Now, you're not getting out of control
while you're in this house.

Oh, uh, that's the, uh, positive thinking, huh?

Yeah, that's right.

Gee, this, uh, it sure is a pleasant place.

Yeah, and we mean to keep it that way.

Is your father home?

No.

He was called out of town.

Well, then it'll just be the four of us?

Yeah, that's right.

But don't get any ideas.

Things are gonna run just as smoothly as if Dad were here.

Get it?

Well, yeah.

Chip, why don't you show Gilbert to his room?

This way.

Oh,

Bob, maybe we're being a little tough on this guy.

No, if he behaves, we can always ease off.

Somehow, he just isn't what I expected.

Well, what do you think?

He's gonna talk out of the corner of his
mouth and flash a switchblade?

No, he's being polite so he can catch us off guard.

Maybe.

He's playing it cool, Mike.

This guy's pretty sharp.

Excuse me.

Well, this is Bub's room.

Oh, it's, uh, it's very nice.

He's my grandfather.

Well, yeah, yeah, I know.

We're gonna paint his room while he's away.

Oh, well, good.

Maybe I could help.

Yeah, maybe.

I'm pretty good at slapping on paint.

Yeah?

Yeah, you ought to see some of those cars I've worked on.

You wouldn't recognize them when I get through with them.

I'll bet.

You know, I think this experiment's working.

I really think I am better.

Better than what?

Better than I was at home.

Boy, you poor family.

Well, it hasn't been easy.

I feel like a different person.

Well, I, uh, I hope it has helped you.

Oh, I'm sure it has.

You don't know what this means to me.

Say, I tell you what.

Why don't you guys go in the living room?

I'll take over in here.

Hold it.

Who's giving a sh*t?

The living orders are on here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I, uh, I didn't mean to give orders.

You're going into the living room.

Is that understood?

Uh, sure, but wouldn't you rather I... The living room!

Did you see that?

You see how clever he is?

All that talk about being a different person?

Well, just to soften us up.

And then, Brian, first thing you know,
he's ordering us around.

I thought he was gonna offer to do the dishes.

Oh, him do the dishes?

Are you a dreamer or something?

Yes, that's Brian Parker.

The number's 8700.

Yeah.

Now, I'll wait, thanks.

Were your circuits busy?

Well, uh, call me when you can get through, huh?

Thank you.

Yes, oh, thanks.

Hello?

Hello?

Hi, Rob.

Oh, hi, Dad.

How's everything in Washington?

Oh, fine, Rob.

I just got back from kind of rough day at the air base.

How's everything there?

You mean, uh, Thornbury.

Uh, Dad.

Dad, listen, be careful what you say.

He might be on the phone downstairs.

Don't say anything about his you-know-what problem.

Oh, he's, uh, sensitive about it, huh?

Well, look, you fellas do what you gotta do.

Do what you can to help him, won't you?

Dad, we're trying to help him.

Now, tonight, Mike and Chip and I are
gonna go down to the drugstore.

We're gonna leave him in the house all
alone just to prove that we trust him.

Well, uh, why shouldn't you trust him?

Dad, with a problem like his?

I mean, this is nothing to sneeze at.

Oh, that's a joke, huh?

Well, look, Rob, I'll be home in a couple of days.

You, uh, say hello to the fellas, huh?

Okay, goodbye, Dad.

Goodbye.

I still say we all shouldn't have gone to
the drugstore and left Gilbert home alone.

It's just to show him we trust him.

Yeah, we trust him.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna observe him.

Observe him?

How do you know what he's doing in there?

Oh, come on, Rob.

Observe him.

Why don't you get the key?

No.

Wait, don't do that.

Why?

Gilbert's in there.

Of course.

Who do you think locked us out?

You mean you think he delivered...
We're locked out of our own house.

Now, I'm gonna climb in that window over
there and we all three can jump in.

I don't know about this, Rob.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

Shh.

You wait here.

I'll signal you in.

All right, hold it.

Look,

officers, I know this looks a little funny,
but we live here and we're locked out.

Yeah.

Well, we just got a call about a prowler at this address.

Oh?

Who called?

Mike Douglas.

I'm Mike Douglas.

You phoned in?

No.

Then you're not Mike Douglas.

Well, yes, he is.

He is Mike Douglas.

He's my brother.

And I'm Chip Douglas.

Yeah?

And who are you?

Well, I'm his brother.

And his brother, too.

Let's get this thing straightened out.

You guys, huh?

Mike Douglas?

Oh, no.

He's Mike Douglas.

Hey, what kind of a gag is this?

Well, you see, I'm Gilbert Thornberry.

I'm visiting the Douglas' and, uh, I was
in there alone and I heard strange noises.

I got nervous.

So I called the police.

Well, then why'd you say you were me?

I don't know.

Yeah.

Well, I just thought it'd be easier than trying to explain
who I was and why I was calling from a Douglas residence.

Why didn't you just ring the doorbell?

Yeah, that's just what you were waiting for, wasn't it?

Well, why didn't you ring the doorbell?

Because I didn't want to give them that much satisfaction.

I haven't had a sensible answer yet.

Now, look, the next time you call the
police, use your own name.

And you, the next time you want to get into the
house, no matter how much it hurts, push the bell.

Well, let's go.

Those cops sure are on the ball.

You're darn right they are.

I guess it would be pretty rough on a
burglar in this neighborhood.

Yeah, that's right.

It would.

Sure would.

Yeah.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Look at.

Our house.

Yeah.

A party.

Hey, look.

Oh,

you shouldn't have bothered, Gil.

I shouldn't have bothered.

It was the least I could do when you guys were
nice enough to come all the way down from Wellsville.

Sorry I took so long, but I had a little
trouble convincing the delivery man that I

didn't want to charge anything to the Douglas family.

Well, it sure is good to see you all.

Good to see you, Gil.

Yeah.

Boy, it sure must be great to sh**t four guys here.

Well, it could be, but it's kind of hard to understand.

What's the problem?

I can't exactly put my finger on it, Wesley, but I
sometimes get the feeling they don't all together trust me.

I thought maybe if I could do something
like paint the room they're letting me in.

Say, Gil, sounds like a good idea.

Why not let us all help you?

Yeah, why not?

Hold it!

Hey, Robbie, Chip, hey, you're just in time.

I'd say we're a little too late.

Yeah.

Well, I'd like you to meet some friends of mine.

Out.

Your whole g*ng out.

Out.

I beg your pardon?

Out.

O-U-T.

The R-G's over.

R-G?

Yeah, over and out.

Come on, now hop on those bikes and hit the road.

Out.

Yeah, hit it.

You don't understand, Robbie.

These are friends of mine.

They came down to see me from Wellsville because I'm sick.

Yeah, that's right.

Sick, sick.

Sick.

Out.

Look, I'm sorry.

I don't quite understand.

It's okay, Gil.

Don't worry about it.

Out.

Out.

Look, Gil, sure you don't want to come with us?

You don't have to stay here, do you?

He's not going anywhere and I'll take this.

At least maybe we can get the deposits back.

Out.

Come on, get it.

We'll see you, Gil.

Out.

Bye, Gil.

Get out.

And stay out.

Chip, don't you touch a thing.

He's going to clean up this whole mess himself.

Hey, Rob.

Who are those kids riding out of here on the bikes?

The Thornberry g*ng was just here having a wild party.

Chip and I got here just in time.

What?

Another five minutes and they would have
been toasting these.

Where is he now?

He's in Budford.

Well, I guess we better call Judge Wesson.

Chip, go tell Gilbert to come out here.

I told you so all along, didn't I?

Hey, you guys, come here quick.

Come here.

Everything's piled in the middle of the room.

Yeah, you see, I was just about to... Yeah,
we know what you were just about to do.

But I think you forgot your marshmallows.

Don't change the subject.

Now, you're going to do something
constructive for a change.

Get in that living room and clean up that mess.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

I was just going to paint Bud's room.

I was going to paint it cornflower blue,
the color of his eyes.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

How do you know what color Bud's eyes are?

Well, I've been around Bud for quite a few years now.

Every time he visits Uncle Charlie.

Uncle Charlie?

Charlie Brundage?

Yeah, he's my uncle.

On my mother's side.

What are you doing here?

Well, Bud sent me down for a few days to
see if I could get over my hay fever.

Hay?

You mean that's your problem?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I'm allergic.

Marshmallow on the way?

Well, Bud, how do you like it?

Well, this looks great.

It's great.

Well, we did it for Gilbert's help.

Well, it looks fine.

Here, have a look at this.

What do you think of that?

Hey, that's really neat.

Hey, the cornflower blue matches his eyes, too.

Yeah.

How come it's so small?

Well, it weighed 25 pounds before the day.

The sun shrank it.

So I just plugged it in and the thing went right up.

So I guess you're happy with the way
things went down at Canaveral, huh?

Yeah, you're probably some kind of a hero down there.

Oh, no, no, I didn't do anything spectacular.

Their engineers had a preconceived idea
what the trouble was.

They just wanted to make the symptoms fit
the preconception, if you know what I mean.

Yeah, I think we do, Dad.

Yeah.

But like you have this idea that a kid is
a delinquent, he could be Albert.

Schweitzer and you'd still find something bad in him.

Well, yeah, it's probably the same idea.

Oh, by the way, I heard from Judge Weston.

She's sending that boy out next week or a week after.

Well, we'll be ready for him, won't we, Rob?

Yeah, if he's ready for us.

Thank you.