09x04 - Another Night at Antoine's

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Anyway, she hasn't sent a uniform out to
be clean since Christmas.

I mean, it practically stands up by itself.

Chachi, I'm talking to you here.

Oh, I know.

Now I'm listening.

All right, what'd I say?

You said, Chachi, I'm talking here.

Oh, come on, I got better things to do than to sit here
being ignored by you and watching you oogle other girls.

Jenny, I'll wait for you outside.

Oh.

What is with Miss Cranky today?

And a girl walks by and I look at her.

What's wrong with that?

That's why God gave me eyes.

Well, I'll tell you what's wrong with Joanie.

Sandra Wonderman is going steady.

Two-ton Sandra?

Yep.

No kidding.

No, Arnie Finster gave her his ID bracelet.

Of course, he had to add about 12 links to it.

What's this got to do with Joanie?

You've been going out twice as long as Arnie
and Sandra, and poor Joanie's still got a naked wrist.

You're in the doghouse, buddy.

Are you sure about this?

Am I sure?

Is Chubby Checker chubby?

Of course I'm sure.

Now, look, this is how it goes.

You give her your bracelet, then later you
give her an engagement ring.

You rent a hall, sing Oh Promise Me, you
get bald, she gets fat, and everyone's happy.

Come on, get with it, Chach.

See ya.

See ya.

Jenny.

Now, you've been giggling and looking at
me strangely all night long.

Tell me what it is.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

How would you like me to Polish your face?

All right, okay.

Jenny!

Come on!

All right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Somebody in this house is going to get
Chachi's ID bracelet.

Me?

No, your father.

Of course you.

Oh, his bracelet.

Yes, Jenny!

I'm going to get his.

I know!

Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.

Hi.

Hi, Chachi.

What are you doing here?

Oh, you're in a good mood.

Good.

Jenny, could we be alone for a minute?

Sure.

Joanie, would you mind waiting in your
room until we're done?

Not him and you, us.

Him and me, all together.

Me.

You got it?

Got it.

Hey, sure, I've been thrown out of better places.

I've been thrown out of worse places.

I've been thrown out of a lot of places.

What a life.

He's a nice kid.

Yeah.

Joanie.

Yeah.

You look darn cute tonight.

Thanks.

You know, we've been seeing a lot of each
other for quite some time now.

Yeah?

Yeah, and I was, uh, thinking that it was
time we made an important step in our rela.

...

In our relationship.

Life is funny.

You remember last summer at the lake when
you said that because I've been chasing

you since I was a little kid that I may
have missed out on dating a lot of other girls?

Uh-huh.

And I said that I didn't care about that?

Yeah.

Well, I was wrong.

What?

Well, it's no big thing.

I figure I'm going to try and date other girls
and, of course, you'd be free to date other guys.

This way we'd be really sure about each other.

We'd be more confident, stronger, closer, happy.

What do you think?

You upset?

Upset?

Are you kidding?

I was going to call you tomorrow and tell
you the same thing.

Boy, you're really taking this well.

I thought there'd be a lot of crying and carrying on.

No.

I'm proud of you.

Thank you.

See you around.

You know, this is going to work out great
for the both of us.

Can't miss.

What would you like to ask?

That's life.

That's life.

That's what all people say.

You're right in my name.

Chach, I've got a whole bunch of phone messages for you.

In the last half hour, I read...

Debbie, Cindy, Linda, Kathy.

Boy, you are hot as a p*stol.

You are the son of a g*n.

I'm sick of all those girls.

Al, I made a terrible mistake.

I never should have broken up with Joanie.

Hold on, I'm standing here.

Joanie and I are never going to get back together.

We're never going to get married.

Never going to have little Arcola's.

My life is ruined, Al.

Good score, Chachi.

Hey, Al.

Listen, I thought I'd come by and pick up
some of those sodas for basketball.

I'll go get them.

Listen, come here.

Actually, she is really depressed.

You're a coach, you know how you get the
team up for the big game?

Go over and talk to them, pump them up, get them
back in the big game of life, you know what I mean?

Here, here.

Al, give me a favor.

Go get the drinks.

Oh, God.

No, Chachi.

Whenever I'm down, I like to think back on
some of those great 17th century philosophers.

I mean, men like Hobbes.

Who?

Hobbes.

He was one of the greatest thinkers of all times.

Now, he believed that fate alone could
dictate a man's life.

Anything that's going to happen is already happening.

There's nothing you can do about it.

That's a pep talk?

I'm sorry, all right?

Oh, and Chachi, I believe it was Augustine
who said, the stoic conception of fate is mistaken.

Since angels and men have free will.

Now, that was Hobbes.

Hobbes believed just the opposite.

You see, he's... Good, Rog.

Listen, you might be in for the practice.

Say hi to the guys for me.

Right.

You know, it gives me goosebumps to see you this cheery.

Will you please start getting it together?

You know that you're putting a damper on business.

You're putting a damper on my heart.

Will you please go and make up with Joanie?

Fonz, I tried to call.

She won't even come to the phone.

She won't even come to the phone.

Look at me.

If you want to make up with a girl,
you got to do it eyeball to eyeball.

Maybe Hobbs was right when he said we're
all in the hands of fate.

You're getting advice outside the family now?

Go and make up with Joanie, will you please?

And do me a favor, you tell this Hobbs guy
to mind his own business.

The man is dead.

I'm truly sorry.

Chachi, Chachi, Chachi.

Listen to me, Chachi.

There's this woman that I cared very much
about, and I let her slip through my fingers.

And I've regretted it ever since.

How do you want to end up like me?

It worked.

Come in.

Oh, hello, William.

Nice seeing you again.

Joanie will be down in a minute.

Hello, Mr. Cunningham.

And where's your charming wife?

Well, she's spending some time with her mother.

You see, once a year, she goes over there.

And her mother tells her what a mistake it was to marry me.

I make a weekend out of it.

My, you sure do have a winning sense of humor.

Golly, thanks.

Joanie, William's here.

Excuse me, I got to take care of these dishes.

Don't want to get the little woman mad.

No, sir.

Mr. C?

I'm back.

And everything's going to be back to normal.

Where's Joanie?

We got a lot of talking to do.

Well, she'll be down in a minute, Chachi.

Why don't you go in the living room and wait, huh?

Right.

All right, Joanie.

I'm here.

Come on, doll.

Let's get this thing settled right now.

I'm having a little problem with my girlfriend.

But we're going to settle this thing right now.

Who are you?

I'm William Farnsworth.

I'm Joanie's date for this evening.

Has she seen you before?

What are you doing here?

Never mind what I'm doing here.

What is we, Willy Winky, doing here?

Bill?

Yeah, Bill.

Oh, hi, Bill.

Well, Bill's taking me out to dinner tonight.

We're going to Chez Antoine.

Be still, my heart.

Daddy, we're going now.

Okay, don't stay out too late.

Good night.

Good night, sweetheart.

Goodbye.

Good night.

Greg Brady, Maxwell Smart, The Fonz,
Richie Cunningham, Andy Taylor,

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

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Hi, Mr. C, what's the problem?

Lover boy here is in pain.

You're getting very repetitive, you gloomy Gus.

All right, Chachi, come on.

Let's go.

Get up.

Come on, boy, get up.

There we go, right through the hoop.

Here we go.

See, how could you let that guy in the house?

How could you make my daughter cry?

She cried over me?

Now he's happy.

Move over.

This guy, Bill, is probably taking all
those fancy places, places I can't afford.

You think the Chez Antoine place is something special?

Let's put it this way.

Any place that starts with the name Chez, right?

Got small portions, big bucks.

Maybe she just said she's going there to make me jealous.

Maybe she's not going there at all.

Terrific.

Why don't you go down there and see if she shows up?

That's an idea.

Stupid idea.

Sit down.

That's a great idea, Fonz.

This way I can keep my eye on her.

And if she sees me, I'll just say,
uh, I'll just say I forgot she was going

to be there tonight, and then I go there alive.

See ya.

I'm not going with you.

I'm not going there alone.

Wear glasses.

You taught me how to ride my first two-Wheeler, Fonz.

What are you talking about?

What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing.

I'm desperate.

All right, all right.

Two questions.

One, you really want to do this?

Two.

Who's paying?

Yes, and me.

The decision is history.

Let's go.

Just to see who's going to share,
Antoine, can I borrow a tie?

You can't borrow his tie.

Antoine, the man's got a much bigger neck.

Come on.

Oh, Bill, this restaurant is charming.

It's so romantic.

Bonsoir.

Good evening and welcome to Chez Antoine
Restaurant of Romance.

A Rose for the lady.

Oh, Bill, how sweet.

And, of course, champagne.

Oh, Bill, how sweet.

Oh, pishaw.

May I suggest our love steak for two?

Ah, by all means.

It is served with our world-famous potatoes passionnelle.

What's that?

Passion potato.

Oh.

It sounds wonderful.

Oh, pishaw.

Francois, music a la table six.

You know, they have a dance floor.

Oh, I'd love to.

The guys at my fraternity call me Mr. Rumba.

I'm sure they didn't mean anything by it.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

We do have a dress code.

Hey, I hope you feel better.

Free ties.

Look at this.

I don't know if Fonz is making us wear them.

They don't mean it.

Uh, we have a reservation for two.

Arcola?

Ah, yes, Arcola.

And where's the young lady?

Oh, no, there's no young lady.

Only, uh, another young gentleman.

Well, Che Antoine opens his doors for all types.

What does he mean by types?

I don't know.

Sit down before we're seen.

I'll take care of him.

There you go.

It's not very nice, huh?

Thanks.

Not to Rose, or the, uh... You?

There's some water to put it in.

Champagne?

Yeah, but not for him.

Oh, that's faux pas.

No, I don't care what brand it is, he don't drink.

Fonz.

I'll tell you something, it's a very nice restaurant.

Comfy, you know.

Fonz.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna bring a date here.

Fonz.

I don't see Joanie anywhere.

Oh, you look at this menu?

What's up?

Love steak.

Passion potatoes.

That does not sound like food two guys eat together.

Did you notice that we're the only people
in here that aren't boy-girl?

Types.

He's got it.

Let's get out of here.

No, Fonz, he doesn't think we're types.

Don't hold my hand in here, you crazy.

I'll tell you something.

Let's just get out of here, all right?

What are we going to do?

Tell Joanie we come here often, huh?

This is more uncomfortable than I imagined.

This has got fiasco written all over it.

Let's take our free ties and go home.

There you are, Fonzie.

What are you doing here?

We were supposed to have a date tonight.

How'd you know I was here?

Mr. Cunningham told me where to find you.

Now, what am I supposed to do with the
eight-course dinner I made for you tonight?

I said, Joanie, under the table.

Right.

Where's he go?

You haven't seen anything.

Let me tell you something.

That dinner was for tomorrow night.

No, it was for tonight.

I'm talking tomorrow night.

It was for tonight.

What's the difference?

The difference is I have never stood up a girl in my life.

This lady has her days wrong.

It was tonight.

Sweet lips.

I'm talking tomorrow night.

Would you listen to that?

Some people just don't know how to behave
at the better places.

And why isn't he wearing a tie?

I love him.

That's Fonzie.

I wonder what's the matter.

Fonzie.

Sure came.

Injury and I were just sitting here having
a great time while we're not in injury.

I make him a beautiful eight-course meal
and I found him sitting here with some...

I've got a friend this year.

I will get you a fresh cloth.

Hi.

Hi.

Yeah, I got my keys when I was here last week.

Fonz, I don't know what it is.

I just can't stay mad at you.

I understand.

Are you still having me?

I am still.

Why don't you go out to the car, keep everything hot.

You spy on me.

Yes, I do.

He spied on me.

Would you keep it down?

You spied on me.

You went to all that trouble just for me.

You really do care, huh?

Oh, yeah.

I cared all along.

Me too.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying that I spent $38 here,
and you're interested in that guy?

I'm sorry, Bill.

Well, sorry, my Aunt Minnie.

I'm leaving, and you can just get Mr.
Wonderful here to drive you home.

Can you call that a Windsor knot?

I would like a doggy bag.

In Paris, the doggies fend for themselves.

Whoa.

Hey, kiddies, how you doing, huh?

Chirping away, huh?

You little lovebirds still miserable, right?

I wasn't miserable.

I survived.

Oh, really?

Well, I survived better.

Hey.

You know how many women I went out with?

I can do it on my own.

Oh, really?

I don't need you.

Kids.

I got no time for this.

There's a woman in the car with hot food.

You understand?

You were crazy because she was dating.

You cried your eyes out because she was dating.

You know everything.

You're back together again.

Nice.

Hey, Max.

Get over here.

A little table music, huh?

Isn't that lovely, huh?

And second thought, Max.

To the car.

Love's take for two.

A Vector.

Potatoes for Chanel.

Yeah, all right.

To number five.

You look beautiful.

Thanks.

What Fonzie said.

It's all true.

Every word of it.

You know, Joanie, my going out with other
girls was a good idea.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because I found out I don't want to.

I was right to chase you all those years.

I'm glad you came here tonight.

Me too.

Yeah.

Joanie?

You got any money?

I got money.

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We're going to pop in on an old friend of mine.

Gordon, what are you doing here?

Hello, B.

Smith, how are you?

Come on in.

You have to take off your shoes, though.

It's only kind of a Japanese thing.

She's the perfect woman.

Even your trash cans are beautiful.

Let me make you a sandwich.

Sandwich?

I don't want to be rude, B., but I've got something a
little more interesting for a woman of style like you.

Campbell's Select Italian-style wedding suit.

It has spinach in it, Pearl pasta, and little meatballs.

It tastes great.

There's lots of other delicious varieties.

They're as good as this.

I'm in.

Cheerio.

Thanks for coming by.

Dad, this is dumb.

It's go time.

Oh, boy.

Here's one way to get computer help.

Target in sight.

Can I help you?

Not a word of this to your mother.

Hang on.

Here we go.

What do you want from me?

I want you to make this.

Go away.

Please.

Don't go there.

Go deaf.

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Important information.

For individuals living with limited mobility.

Hi, I'm Dan Weston with good news from the scooter store.

You may qualify for a brand-new power
chair or scooter at little to no out-of-pocket cost.

If you are confined to a chair or bed,
unable to get around your home without

assistance, unable to push yourself in a
manual wheelchair, and your doctor

prescribes a power chair for your medical
need, then there's a good chance Medicare

and private insurance will cover the cost
of your new power chair.

I hadn't been able to get around the house
on my own in over a year.

This power chair has changed my life,
thanks to the scooter store.

Medicare approves 90% of all the claims we pre-qualify.

Plus, if we pre-qualify you and Medicare
denies your claim, the scooter store

allows you to keep your power chair at no cost.

If you have a medical need, it's time to
receive the benefits you deserve.

Call the scooter store now.

Call 1-800-641-5522 for free information.

That number again is 1-800-641-5522.

Let's never break up again.

I'm for that.

Okay, kids, that's it.

Say goodnight, Chachi.

Night, Mr. C.

Night.

Night.

Night.

Hold it up, hold it up.

Angier here has got a little message for
you, don't you, huh?

I want you to say everything that's on your mind.

sh**t.

Okay.

Fonzie was right.

I made the mistake.

Our dinner was for tomorrow night, not tonight.

I told you.

I told you.

I've never stood up a girl in my life, huh?

Hey, Max, give them a shot, will you?

As you were.

Upstairs.

I'll call you as soon as I get home.

I'll run up and wait by the phone, okay?

Night, Mr. C.

Night, Chachi.

Mr. C., can I ask you something?

Did you like that Bill Farnsworth guy better than me?

Chachi, Joanie loves you, and that's what counts.

No, no, go ahead.

I can handle it.

Well, he was a nice dresser, polite,
sophisticated, mature, and he's wealthy.

He has his own apartment.

I like you better.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

This man can hold me when I hold you.

Coming up next, it's the Brady Bunch.

Gold records, fame, fortune.

Well, Johnny Bravo didn't get any of that because Greg Brady
just happens to have a little something called integrity.

Stay tuned for episode 96, next on TV Land.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.