09x15 - Poobah, Doo Dah

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days, ♪
♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days, ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days, ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day, ♪

♪ Grooving all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours, ♪

♪ Happy and free ♪

♪ Oh happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours, ♪

♪ Share them with me, Oh baby. ♪

♪ Goodbye gray sky, hello blue, ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. ♪

♪ It's all right, it can't be wrong, ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long. ♪

♪ These days are ours, ♪

♪ Share them with me, Oh happy days, ♪

♪ These days are ours, Happy and free ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine, ♪

♪ Happy days. ♪

Now it's time to decide who's going to take charge of this

year's Leopard Lodge musical,
the 15th annual Poo-Bah-Doo-Dah.

Now, are there any volunteers?

Yeah, yeah, right.

Well, look at this, two more than usual.

Well, I guess it's just Al and me,
so that puts me in charge, huh?

Would somebody please tell me what's wrong with me?

Sure, you want to spend a week?

Come on, Donald, this is a board meeting here.

You know something, I mean...

You never get important jobs around here.

For the last four years, I've been the Fez cleaner.

You're breaking my heart, Al.

I mean, every year our show is an artistic failure.

Now, I think the words poobah, doodah should say class.

Well, how do you propose we do that?

Well, it's simple.

We just get a celebrity to headline the show.

Now, it just happens that my cousin is the
commissioner of public utilities.

Yeah, we know that.

Did you also know that he plays a pretty
mean slide trombone?

Yeah, we know that.

That's true.

You know his wife fools around?

I didn't think you knew that.

Wait a minute.

I think Al deserves a chance here.

You know, he may know one or two celebrities.

Okay, go ahead, Mr. Fez Cleaner.

Well, how about it, Al?

Well, my brother the father is a kind of a celebrity.

He could do the opening and closing invocations.

That ought to pack him in, huh?

Al, what about Frankie?

Well, I never thought of him like that.

I always think of him as my fifth cousin
Frankie once removed.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Frankie who?

Frankie Avalon.

Frankie Avalon is your cousin?

I don't believe that.

That's right.

He's going to be in Chicago all this month.

I got a letter from my mother telling me that Monday.

Look, I move we vote on it, okay?

All right, I'll second that.

All right, all right.

We'll vote.

Sit down.

Okay.

All those in favor of Frankie Avalon, raise your hands.

Well, congratulations, Al.

I need quiet.

I'm trying to cast a respectable doodah here.

Come on, come on.

You guys are better off going to the show.

You get in the bathroom and practice some more, will you?

You're never going to make it otherwise, kid.

Oh, boy, I'll tell you.

And who are you supposed to be?

Never mind.

All right, which one's the dummy here, huh?

Get him, get him.

Oh, you'll never believe that.

Too much.

Oh, Jenny, look it.

You're supposed to be auditioning in five minutes.

You just pull in now.

I'm sorry.

I've got to change.

By the way, if you're short of dressing
rooms, I'd love to share with Frankie Avalon.

I love him.

You're going to love my act.

Jenny, I play no favorites here.

Believe me.

Hey, everybody.

I play no favorites, and that means for nobody.

There are no favorites played by three of you.

You can sign it.

I can't believe this.

There is a juggler in my office, and he's not very good.

He's not going to be in the show, Fonz.

Fonz, listen.

What if the show is no good?

They're never going to give me an
important job again like this.

Al, listen to me.

Ta-da!

I'm ready, Al.

I thought you were going to change.

I did.

It's a surprise.

Are.

You crazy?

Are you nuts?

No, no way, Jenny.

No way.

This is a family show.

Well, we do this in my family all the time.

All right, next.

Oh, all right.

We're ready, Al.

Yeah.

No, no.

Lori Beth's turn is next.

Oh, she's going to be with us.

Yeah.

What?

She's with the band?

No.

What instrument is she playing?

Al, will you be patient?

It's a surprise.

Hey, guys.

Let me tell you about a place.

Somewhere up in New York way.

Where the people are so g*y.

Twisting the night away.

Here they have a lot of fun.

Putting trouble on the run.

Oh, man, you find the old.

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh, man, you find the old.

Twisting the night away.

Twisting.

Twisting.

Everybody's feeling great.

Oh, twisting.

Twisting.

Twisting the night away.

Oh, come on.

Twisting the night away.

You guys are sock-O-buff.

You guys are fantastic.

I think we got Frankie Avalone.

This is why he wants to talk to Mr. B.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, Frankie.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay, you too, Frankie.

Yeah, right.

It's not coming.

Who will win the TV Land Award for
favorite crime-fighting duo?

Who will be named TV's all-time...

Which unforgettable classic TV theme song
will be honored at last?

It's all up to you.

The 2004 TV Land Awards are coming, so cast your votes.

Go to TVLand.com and select your favorites
in the Viewer's Choice categories.

Make your choice heard.

Log on and vote today.

You know, for years, our Eggo waffles have
made breakfast perfect.

And now, with this rich, maple-flavored
Eggo syrup, we've made it even more perfect.

Plus, with the no-drip spout, the bottle
doesn't get my hands all sticky.

There's just one thing we have to ask ourselves on this.

Why didn't we think of this before?

I mean, it's syrup.

We make waffles.

Waffles and syrup.

One of these things is sort of like the other.

Introducing Eggo syrup.

Better late than never.

I mean, it's not rocket surgery.

Yes, you're lovely.

Never ever change Keep that breathless
charm won't you please arrange it Cause I

love you Just the way you look tonight
Just the way you look tonight.

Shh, they're coming.

Oh, what a time for a call.

Nose is running, head's all blocked up.

I need some Alka-Seltzer Plus.

I'll get my Alka-Seltzer Plus.

Only Alka-Seltzer Plus has an effervescent
cold-fighting formula to break up nasal

congestion and release you from your worst
cold symptoms fast.

Were you surprised?

Nah, it works every time.

Effervescent Alka-Seltzer Plus breaks up
your worst cold symptoms fast.

And if the flu strikes you, get back on
your feet fast with Alka-Seltzer Plus Flu.

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
when the world is cold, I will feel a glow

just thinking of you and the way you look tonight.

Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so
warm and your cheeks so soft.

There is nothing for me but to love you
and the way you look tonight.

With each word, your tenderness grows,
tearing my fears apart.

And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
touches my foolish heart.

Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so
warm and your cheeks so soft.

Yes, I love you just the way you look tonight.

Just the way you look tonight.

How did you like.

It?

Can we be in the show?

Al?

Huh?

Okay, whenever you're ready.

How do you think we've been jumping around
for the past ten minutes?

I'm sorry.

Oh, Al, now don't worry.

You've worked so hard on this show,
I know everything is going to turn out

great, even if you don't have Frankie Avalon.

Won't it, Howard?

Oh, I don't know, Marion.

What are all those people going to... What are we going to
tell them who once have bought tickets for Frankie Avalon?

Well, we just have to give them their money back.

I can't.

We already spent it.

Al, how could you lose Frankie Avalon?

I didn't lose him, Howard.

His side of the family and my side of the
family are having a big feud.

His mother called him up yesterday.

He says he's not allowed to play with me.

Hey.

Hey.

Sees, I love your new mode of dress.

You look great.

All right, all right.

Any news on the cousin front?

Al, don't do this.

Not in public, Al.

You're going to get all puffy.

I don't know what to do.

This feud's coming from the old country, Fonz.

Al, will you finally tell me what it's all about?

One of my cousins stole one of their sheep.

Sheep rustling farms.

Where do you think I get the nice sweaters?

Excuse us, all right?

Come on, we're going to go call Italy right now.

I got the wreck lines, we're overseas operator.

You'll settle it.

No?

See.

I've been trying to get her for days now.

I hope she's not at the pasta festival.

Aunt Marie eats and eats and... Oh, hello?

Hello, Aunt Marie?

Yeah, this is your nephew, Alfredo, from America.

Don't you know him?

Don't hang up, please.

Aunt Marie, don't hang up.

I've come to apologize.

I want to make good for all the sheep that were stolen.

That's right.

That many, huh?

Okay, I will.

Yes, I love you very much.

Yeah, I love you this much, Aunt Marie.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Okay, well, please, look.

Call up Frankie's mother and tell her it's
okay for him to come and do the show.

All right?

Oh, I love you.

Tante grazie.

Ciao.

So?

Your pet.

Is he coming or not?

Is he coming or not?

She's got to call from Italy, he's got to come from
Chicago, and I've got to go announce another act.

He shouldn't be in the theater.

Thank you.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you.

Okay.

It's my pleasure now to introduce...
Milwaukee's favorite quartet.

Warren Weber, Chachi Arcola, Roger
Phillips, and, and the great Freddie Johnson.

Hey, where's he gone?

Wait, wait, where is he gone?

What's going on, you guys?

Come on.

Boom, boom, boom.

Boom, boom, boom.

Goodbye, Mike Coney Island.

Baby, farewell, my own true love, true love.

I'm gonna go away and leave you.

Never to see you any.

Never gonna see you any.

I'm gonna sail upon that ferryboat.

Never to return again, return again.

So, goodbye.

Farewell, so long, forever.

Goodbye, my Coney Island.

Goodbye, my Coney Island.

Behold.

Goodbye my Coney Island babe, we all fall
for some girl that dresses neat,

some girl that's got big feet,
we meet her on the street, then we'll join

the army of merry boots to the altar,
just like leading lambs to slaughter.

Goodbye my Coney Island babe, we all fall
for some girl that dresses neat,

some girl that's got big feet,
we meet her on the street, then we'll join

the army of merry boots to the altar,
just like leading lambs to slaughter.

Goodbye my Coney Island babe, we all fall
for some girl that dresses neat,

some girl that's got big feet,
we meet her on the street, then we'll join

the army of merry boots to the altar,
just like leading lambs to slaughter.

That's a good idea, Fonz.

Listen, you could put on some dark glasses.

I got a record here for Frankie, I'll play the record, you
go up on the stage and just move your lips up and down.

Oh, you're gonna get it for this.

We could do it, Fonz, I'm telling you.

You're both about the same size, you got the same
hairstyle, you're both a tagger, you both make women scream.

He does it by singing, Al.

Yes, sir, that was Charlotte Mintz and her
accordion-playing bear.

You'll be happy to hear that Charlotte's
injuries were not serious.

And now, for the act you've all been waiting for, huh?

Now, he's not used to our Midwestern blizzards, so in
order not to get snow-blind, he's gonna wear dark glasses.

But here he is, folks, my cousin,
not yours, but he's all of our friends.

And a great friend.

He's a great singer, Frankie Avalon!

I'll never let you go, why?

Because I love you.

I'll always love you so, why?

Because you love me.

Why?

Because I love you.

Why?

Because I love you.

Why?

Because you love me.

I think you're awfully sweet.

Why?

Because I love you.

Fonz, put the glasses back on.

Oh, you don't think they got it yet.

Let's be men about this.

Let's own up to this, all right?

Okay, it's his fault.

All right, I did it.

I goofed.

I'm the one.

But I know you're all my good
friends and my good neighbors,

and you'll find it in the goodness
of your hearts to forgive me.

Let's get him.

Sit down.

Let's not turn this into the Oxbow incident here.

This man has put on a great doodah.

I mean, I love Frankie Avalon like
everybody else, but where else in the.

United States are you going to see Abraham Lincoln
doing a Gettysburg address while doing card tricks, huh?

That's good, Fonz, but see something to
cheer him up, will you?

Yes, I will.

Ladies and gentlemen, the guy who really fits
into this jacket, who makes this bow tie a glow, huh?

The original Frankie Avalon!

Oh, don't tease me like that, Fonz.

After.

All of these years, I finally get to meet my fifth cousin.

Al, it's so nice to meet you.

I love the hood, but I ain't your cousin.

You're not?

Well, they told me that Al was on stage,
and I thought I saw a family resemblance.

I'm very, very flattered.

I see there's a family resemblance, but that's Al.

Yeah.

Wow!

It's like I'm looking in a mirror!

I can't believe this!

Uh, Al, let us let Frankie sing, all right?

Right, right.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen.

What's his name?

What's his name?

Frankie Avalon!

He sings!

My cousin, folks!

Here we go.

Hey, Venus.

Venus.

Venus, if you will.

Please send a little girl for me to thrill.

A girl who wants my kiss.

Thank you for watching, and I'll see you next time.

Thank you for watching, and I'll see you next time.

My wish comes true.

Last year.

It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you a woman
I love from the bottom of my heart, Miss Diane Carroll.

Next year.

The 2004 TV Land Awards, coming in March.

What are you doing?

I just closed my home equity loan with Ditech.com.

I don't need these anymore.

Want to pay off credit cards, consolidate
debts, and lower your monthly payments?

Apply now for a no-closing-cost home
equity loan from Ditech.com.

You're right!

This is fun!

Log on to Ditech.com or call 1-800-DIETECH-1.

I want to be as big as a mountain.

A giant!

All kids want to grow up big and strong.

Bigger than... A big truck!

And that takes proper nutrition.

If you're concerned your child isn't getting
adequate nutrition, ask your doctor about PediaSure.

It's a complete balanced source of protein,
vitamins, and minerals children need for healthy growth.

Think of the sky!

Kid-approved PediaSure.

Now in delicious new orange cream.

That's good!

Almost there.

A little more.

Look, Dad!

A quarter!

Hotwire.com.

Hotwire.com can get you a four-star hotel
for a two-star price.

Fly, sleep, drive cheap.

Hotwire.com!

Let Weight Watchers jumpstart your weight
loss with our new Fast Track Kit.

You get a two-week meal planner and
exercise DVD free when you join.

Hurry!

Offer ends January 31st.

Call 1-800-651-6000 today.

Feel fresh.

Feel confident.

With Summer's Eve, a complete line of feminine
products, proven gentle and effective, so you can be you.

For some time now, you've heard me use the
term Medicare participating provider.

What's that?

Well, if you have diabetes and you're on Medicare, it's
someone who doesn't charge too much for your testing supplies.

Like Liberty Medical.

They charge only what Medicare approves
and not a dime more.

Most drug stores will file Medicare forms.

But that doesn't make them a Medicare
participating provider.

They decide what they're going to charge,
and you know, you may wind up paying more.

Now, what if there's not a Medicare
participating provider in your area?

Well, Medicare suggests that you use a
mail order provider, like Liberty.

With Liberty, you pay nothing up front.

Your supplies are delivered right to your door.

Now that you know the difference,
there's no question who you should call.

Liberty.

They can help you live a better life.

Call 1-800-770-3175.

No, no, come on, Jenny, come on.

No, I can't, I can't, I'll die.

Come on, he's your favorite person in the whole world.

We're just going to go over there,
and you're going to meet him, okay?

He's so gorgeous.

Oh, hi.

Hi, I'm Jenny Piccalo.

I'm nobody.

That's right.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Oh, yeah.

Listen, may I ask you something?

Do you mind if I give you a little kiss on the cheek?

Oh.

Goodbye,

gray sky, hello, blue.

This night can hold me when I hold you.

Up next, it's the Brady Bunch, or is it?

Mike Loganland's brother.

Todd stars as Brady neighbor Matt in this potential
Brady Bunch spinoff that, unfortunately, never spun off.

Stay tuned for the pilot for Kelly's Kids next on TV Land.