09x20 - Chachi's Future

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

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♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

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♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
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♪ These days are ours ♪

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- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

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[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

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♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

I'm hurt!

Arthur, you worry me.

No, don't worry, Mrs. C.

I took precautions.

Look at this.

Oh, this cute little seat belt.

Oh, yeah.

Man, that a boy.

That a boy.

Right here.

Now, where did you get that tiny crash helmet?

This was mine when I was his age.

All right, all right, here we go.

Come on.

Here we go.

All right, little Regina, stop going
around the block for time, you understand?

Whoa.

Mom?

Chachi and I have finally done something that we've
wanted to do for a long time, and I hope you approve.

Oh, nothing breakable.

Oh, Judy.

Oh, my little girl.

Oh, my.

Mom, I don't know what you're thinking, but it's not that.

Yeah, it's never that.

We've got band outfits, and we want you to co-sign.

Oh, well.

Daddy's home.

Well, you know, there was a time when I
would come home, and this family would

welcome me with open arms, and there would
be the smells of dinner cooking.

Baby's been here, huh?

Oh, guess what, Howard?

The kids got band outfits.

Wow!

Why didn't you call me at the store?

How about dinner, Marion?

Dad, I thought you'd be a little more
excited for us than that.

Wow!

Well, I got excited.

Of course, I was a little bit confused.

I thought that when they told me about it... I
thought they'd eloped or done something awful.

See, we never do that.

But we have talked about getting engaged, right?

Yeah, and even, uh...

Mm, married.

Maybe.

But that's years from now.

Thank you for your enthusiasm, Chachi.

I'm getting better, right?

At least I didn't black out this time.

See you later.

Bye-bye.

Howard, you were very nice to them.

I didn't do anything.

No, I know what you were thinking.

You know, someday, Joanie and Chachi might
really get married.

You hardly even know him.

You never talk to him.

Oh, I do so, Marion.

Well, look, I like Chachi, but I don't
know what to say to him.

We don't have anything in common.

Howard, it's not that hard.

Just do the things with him that you used
to do with Richie.

Like spend some time with him this weekend.

No, I'm going fishing this weekend.

Well, that's perfect.

Howard, take Chachi with you.

Yeah, it might be fun.

I'd have a companion, a friend, somebody to do the rowing.

If we had to come back, the kid flooded his engine.

Ah, you know, this is the life.

I remember I used to bring Richie out here
all the time and we'd talk and fish.

Fish and talk.

Have a great time.

Just talking and fishing.

Chachi.

Chachi.

Get the net, he's a big one.

Wow.

Sun's up.

You must have dozed off.

Oh.

The last time I got up at 3 A.M., I was,
uh, uh, I've never gotten up at 3 a .m.

Ha, ha, ha.

Did you paint your hook?

Yeah.

Well, how do you get him on the hook without hurting him?

Look, I don't think the worms feel anything when you...

Look, here.

Use a piece of cheese.

Oh, thanks, Mr. C.

You think it would help if we put this
between a couple little slices of rye bread?

Ha, ha, ha.

Ah.

Mr. C., I gotta level with you.

You know, when you first asked me to go
fishing with you, I thought for sure you

were just trying to bring me up here so
you could do that father-in-law thing.

What thing?

Well, you know, where you ask me, uh, how are
you gonna support my daughter once you're married?

That thing.

Oh, no.

Absolutely not, Chachi.

No, I brought you up here to introduce you
to the wonderful world of fishing.

Sure, I mean, this is something we can do
years from now when you're settled down.

You know, we can both take off early on a Friday night.

Friday afternoon, and I can pick you up from work.

Where do you think I might be picking you up at work from?

What?

If I were to pick you up at work, where
do you think I'd be picking you up at?

I don't know, Mr. Sears.

That's a long way in the future.

Who knows?

Probably Arnold's, huh?

You'd be running the place by then.

Nah, the restaurant business is boring.

Oh, but don't tell Arnold, please.

Probably the garage, huh?

You and Fonzie would be partners by then.

I like working at the garage.

Good, I'll pick you up at the garage.

No, no, you can't.

You see, I made this deal with Fonzie.

I don't step foot in the garage and he
doesn't throw wrenches at me.

I'll tell you though, Mr. Sears, I have
thought a lot about going into music.

Where would I pick you up with music?

Well, we'd work clubs, do records, stuff like that.

You mean you could make a living doing that?

Well, it's kind of a long shot, I guess.

Well, then how are you going to support my daughter?

How are you going to live?

How are you going to eat?

Mr. Sears, after we're married,
something is bound to come along.

Yeah, and then you're going to have to feed that too.

Look, Chachi, you said it best that music is a long shot.

I mean, what if it doesn't come in?

Are you trying to tell me that I can't ask
Joanie to marry me if I don't have a job?

No, I didn't say that.

We're not having that kind of a talk.

We just came out here to have some fun, that's all.

Well, so let's just have some fun.

Okay.

You're not upset?

Not at all.

Hey, Mr. C, you got a fish.

I'll get it later.

Mr. C, I'm really sorry.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I forgive you, Chachi.

It's okay.

I've never caught a fish before.

I got so excited.

Yeah.

Or else I never would have stood up in the boat.

Well, it's all right.

I mean, besides the water wasn't that deep.

It was just a couple of inches over my head.

You know, it's kind of funny.

I'm the one who stands up in the boat,
and you're the one who goes in the water.

Yeah, that's funny.

Whatever happens again, will you do me a favor, please,
and throw me the seat cushion instead of the tackle bar?

Well, how was it?

Was it fun?

Are you big buddies now?

Why are you all wet?

It was an accident.

It could happen to anybody.

Of course, this is the first time it ever happened to me.

I'm going upstairs and change my clothes
and drain my watch.

So you can't fish.

Don't take it so hard.

It's got nothing to do with fishing.

The fact of the matter is, I don't know
how I'm going to support you or myself.

I'm 18 years old and I don't know what I want to do.

Chach, you know what you want to do.

You've got your music.

Oh, Joanie, that's such a long shot, you know?

And what if it doesn't come in?

Well, that's my father talking.

Joanie.

Yeah?

Both of my legs just fell asleep.

You know, your father made me take a good look at myself.

I've been acting like a kid.

All I've been thinking about is going out
and fooling around and having a good time.

But I can't do that anymore.

And I'm not coming back here until I can
hold my head up and say I found a career.

You're not coming back here.

We've got a date tonight.

Date?

Dates are for kids.

Chachi, we are kids.

Daddy!

Ha, ha, ha, cheers.

Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Glavin.

Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Peterson.

Ha, ha, ha, h*, h*, TV Land.

Ha, ha.

h*, h*.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha.

h*, h*, h*, he, he, he.

Cheers, h*, h*, right here, ha, ha, on TV, he, he, land.

Ha!

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Deal?

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That's it.

Thank you, everyone.

Really great loan offers.

Remember, no points.

Okay.

Bye.

We'll let you know.

I think we got some pretty good mortgage offers there.

Yeah.

Of course, we still need to pick a realtor.

Eh?

The realtors.

Sorry about that, guys.

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Here's one, Chach.

High pay, lots of fringe benefits, free medical plan.

No experience necessary.

Sounds great, Al.

What is it?

Dynamite handler.

Knowledge of Cuba helpful.

Hey, Chach.

Well, I got the results of your aptitude test.

Great.

Now, these tests are designed to pinpoint
that career which affords you,

the testee, the greatest opportunity for
success and fulfillment.

Yeah, I know.

Pots are hurled up before I took the test.

Oh, I know, but I'd love to say it.

It's so hopeful.

I see.

Please.

What should I do for the rest of my life?

Will you tell me?

All right.

Okay.

Hang on to your horses.

Farming.

Farming?

Farming?

Yeah.

I was the only kid in first grade who
couldn't grow roots on a sweet potato.

You call me farming?

Those are the tests of Homer Tucker.

Homer Tucker?

Isn't that the guy who walks through school barefoot?

I told him to go to medical school.

Wow.

Attractive widow looking for mature, male
companion, must appreciate Mozart and mud wrestling.

Look out, I gotta make a call here.

Let's let me see these, please.

Sure, go ahead.

Here it is.

Here it is.

Consumer product relations.

That sounds great.

What is it?

Sales, Chach, sales.

Wide open field.

Plenty of jobs for salesmen.

You know, I'd like to be a salesman.

And you know what?

Mr. C is in the Chamber of Commerce.

He can hook me up with anybody.

Oh, great.

Well, listen, I'd better find Homer before
he performs an operation.

Hey, guys, wish me luck.

Mutt Wrestling.

Come in, come in, come in, come in.

Mr. Parker.

Right, right.

Mr. Cunningham sent me.

Oh, look, very nice.

Come in, come in.

Look how you look.

Nice suit, nice tie.

Good for sales.

Don't tell me.

Arcola, right?

Yes, Chachi.

Chachi.

Chachi.

Nah, nah, nah.

Bad for sales.

Let's call you Chuck.

Wait, what's wrong with Chachi?

Cute, but too many syllables.

Customers remember one-syllable names like
Frank and Pete to Chuck.

Joe Bob, but never Joe Bob.

Fine, what's in a name?

What's in a name, Chuck?

What's in a name?

Shakespeare-esque.

What's in a name?

Only I'll give you an answer.

Sales, that's what's in a name.

Hey, hey, hey, kids, here's a buck.

Ah, what's this for?

You don't know what money's for?

It's to buy stuff with.

All right, all right, look, we've got a sales meeting.

Now, look, we go very fast, so pay attention, all right?

All right, sit down.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Yo, yo, when you're better than me, you'll sit there.

Up, up, up.

That's it.

All right, all right.

Now, pay attention, men.

Today's a brand new day.

Did we eat money?

Money.

Did we sleep money?

Money.

And how do we get money?

Sell, sell, sell.

Sell!

Sell!

Sell!

Sell!

Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.

Chuck has a question.

What is it, Chuck?

What is it you sell?

Eh?

College boy, good question.

What is it we sell, Chuck?

Janitorial supplies.

You slop it, we mop it, eh?

I don't know anything about janitorial supplies.

Chuck, neither do we.

But what if I can't sell?

Wait a minute, did he say can't?

Did he say can't?

All right, all right.

Give me the buck, give me the buck, give me the buck.

Rule number one, Chuck, a salesman never, never says can't.

All right, now pay attention.

This week, we got a big push on power floor cleaners.

Chuck, you know somebody that's got a
business with a big floor?

I mean, like a bank, a roller rink,
an elephant hut, I'm talking big.

Well, I have a friend who owns a restaurant.

Oh, friend.

Owns friend.

Those are magical words, Chucky, baby.

I can smell a big, big sale, can't you?

Give me the buck.

You said can't.

Did I say it?

I said it.

I said can't.

All right, I said all right.

All right, you got me.

You got me.

Nobody's got me in a long time.

There goes my lunch, but that's okay, Chuck.

You're lighted.

Sit down, kid.

I am sitting.

Good, because short is very bad for sales.

All right?

Pay attention, men.

Now, remember, we sell this to get this.

Am I right?

This is what we sell to get this.

What is it, Chuck?

I don't mean to keep interrupting you,
but what's in the box?

What's in the box?

What's in the box?

Who cares?

Could be used golf ba*ls, a box of sweat.

This is not important, Chuck.

Tell him what's important.

Money, money, money.

Money, money, money.

Money, money, money.

Here's a buck.

Here's a buck.

Here's a buck.

Very good.

All right, all right, kid.

All right, all right.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Now tell your friend we're here.

You tell him we got stuff here going to
improve his business 200%.

This stuff will do that?

All right, leave out that part.

b*tch, b*tch, b*tch, b*tch.

Hi, Al.

Josh, you got the job.

Yeah.

That's my guy.

Sal, could you help me out?

Sure, why?

Okay, this is going to be my first sales approach.

Okay.

I don't have to buy anything.

I'm just supposed to make this big sales pitch, okay?

Hey, what are friends for?

Come on, pitch away.

All right, Sal, okay.

Al?

Yeah.

What's in this bottle is going to change your life.

Fine, I'll take a case.

He's very good.

Oh, Mr. Ripley, Mr. Parker.

Yeah, you do.

Excuse me.

Yeah.

Did you hear that?

I heard it.

Get the money, get the money.

Wait a minute.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let it still.

Show him the power cleaner.

I don't know.

It's too expensive, Mr. Parker.

I don't want to show him.

Money, money, money, money, money.

Al, yeah, I'll take it.

Oh, maybe I should wait a little bit.

Yeah.

He's done.

Al, the restaurant business is a messy one.

For instance, how are you going to clean
up those dirty scuff marks, huh?

I got no dirty scuff marks.

Yeah, well, wait, wait, wait.

Spaghetti, huh?

Spaghetti, Marlo, spaghetti.

Oh, no ketchup.

There we go.

No ketchup.

No ketchup.

Yeah, a little grease, a little grease in there.

Very good.

Do you have any Parmesan cheese?

All right, here's a box.

Here's another box.

Go ahead.

Have no fear, Al.

The CRM-114 power cleaner is here.

It's based on a formula so secret that
even our repairmen have to wear blindfolds.

And did you know that the Germans were
three days away from finding out the

secret of this machine when the Allies marched into Berlin?

I didn't know that.

Whoa.

I'll tell you what, Al.

I'll give you a little demonstration, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Mr. Parker?

Yes, yeah.

Excuse me.

What is it?

How does it work?

How does it work?

You squeeze and go.

Come on, just squeeze and go.

Go, go, go.

Al, you're going to love this video.

Here we go.

Go on, get him.

Attaboy.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Go.

Hey, big cash to charge!

Chach, just tell him that we love each
other and we'll work it out.

He's not gonna buy that, are you kidding me?

And I should know what I want to do in life.

Uh, one moment though, here.

Wait a minute.

I might have been missing something, uh, sitting
over here in my very comfortable seat in the couch.

This don't sound so complicated, you know?

Not like, uh, solving the world hunger problem.

Answer me one question.

What do you want to do with your life?

I want to sing my music.

Huh, you want to be a bum, huh?

Thanks.

I'm kidding with you, huh?

You just say it straight out.

I want to sing my music, right?

You should have asked me this a long time ago.

Fonz.

Yeah, what?

I already told him all that.

Man, it's such a long shot.

So what?

I may not make it.

So what?

So what?

You don't know unless you try.

If Abraham Lincoln thought that being president was
a long shot and gave up, we would have no buddies.

Picture on a $5 bill.

What?

When parents come in here, you tell them
honestly what you want to do.

Oh, Chachi.

We just saw Mr. Parker and he told us what happened.

But he said you had spunk and he gave me a dollar.

Mr. and Mrs. C, I would like you to take a
seat in your very comfortable chair here.

Please sit down.

All right?

I want you to relax.

A little deep breathing here.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

I want you to have a deep breath.

Don't open your mind because Chachi has something to say.

Knock your socks off.

Louder.

I'm going into music.

The man is so happy he went to tell the neighbors.

Dad.

Howard.

Dad, it's what he wants to do,
and why not let him give it a try?

Mr. C., I'm 18, and I figure now's a good
time to take a long shot.

I'm not a lazy little kid anymore.

I've been working all my life, and I'm going to do
whatever I can to make it in the music business.

Well, isn't that wonderful?

A musician in the family.

It'll be so nice at Christmas.

Could we step inside here?

People are beginning to get... Gather.

All right, everybody, let's move along
with your little lives here.

Except for you, sweetie, in the aqua.

I'll be right down.

Later.

Chachi, I respect your determination.

You've always been a very
dependable young man, and if music

is what you want to do with
your life, then I say go for it.

I'll tell you what.

Listen, we'll go fishing this weekend.

That'd be nice, Mr. C.

Yeah, I'll pick you up somewhere.

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Hey, big guy.

Want to dance?

No, thanks.

Want to get drunk, have a few kids,
fool around, or anything?

You'll be loved.

Jenny, what is the matter with you?

Oh, nothing.

I just had a few minutes to k*ll before my dance.

But I've been watching you.

But she's been watching me, too.

Hey, big guy.

Want to dance?

I'm going to step right up to her and ask
her, Hey, now, Mama, how do you do?

And if she says to me, well, buddy, you
look fine, so come on, let's take a chance.

She'll be my Princess of Third Street,
and this won't be any joker's romance.

She'll be my Princess of Third Street,
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These happy days, I hope you buy these happy days.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

This man can hold me when I hold you.

It feels so right, it can't be wrong.

Next, on The Brady Bunch, Robbie Rist
joins the cast as Carol's nephew, Oliver.

Maybe Oliver was a jinx after all.

The show was canceled just a few episodes later.

Episode 112 is next, here on TV Land.

These happy days are yours and mine, happy days.