11x21 - Good News, Bad News

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes, my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Good-bye, gray sky, hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothing can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rocking and rolling all week long ♪

[organ solo plays over rhythmic hand claps]

♪ Sunday, Monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, Friday, happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Share them with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪

- ♪ Happy and free ♪
- ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours ♪

♪ And mine, Happy Days! ♪

Hey, hey, rock and roll.

Now here's a new hometown sound.

And if he becomes a star, remember, I discovered him.

Here's Chachi Arcola.

Joanie!

Judge Howard, come down here right away!

What's the matter, Marion?

Oh, my goodness!

What, Mom?

Oh!

Oh!

I broke the radio!

Is that what you called us down here to
watch you break the radio?

Oh, no!

She offed the radio!

There was a song you didn't like, so you broke the radio?

No, he was singing!

Who?

He, what's his name?

Chachi!

Chachi!

Chachi!

Oh!

Oh!

It's broken!

Well, where's another radio?

In the car, come on!

In the car, in the car, in the car!

What station, Marion?

Rivingfield Williams Rock and Roll Cavalcade!

It ain't 20 down the dial!

Hurry!

Are you crazy?

You hit me in my rear end!

I'm sorry, dear!

Not you, Marion!

Mr. Cunningham, I'm sorry, but I'm on the
radio, and I want you to hear it!

I would have heard it if you didn't try to
park in my glove compartment!

Can you just turn the radio on?

They're both broken!

What?

The Burkharts, they have a radio?

Everybody's got a radio, man!

Let's go!

Let's go!

Come on!

Hey, what's the ruckus here?

Chachi!

Chachi's on the radio!

What radio?

Chachi's on the radio!

Attorney!

Let's go!

You know, it's a good thing you don't live
with major disasters here.

That was Milwaukee's own Chachi Arcola!

She played my song!

She played my song!

That's it, everybody.

I'm on my way.

Next step, gold record.

And then pretty soon, you'll be on the radio.

You'll be going to the movies and watching
my life story, huh?

Steve Allen played Benny Goodman.

Maybe he'll play you.

When they make the story of your life,
how will we get our cars apart?

Oh, I'm sorry about that, Mr. Cunningham.

My brakes are bad.

Hey, wait a minute.

You were supposed to fix them yesterday.

Oh, I was, but something else came up.

Like what?

I had to take a nap.

I've been real tired lately, Fonzie.

Is that true?

Yeah.

Well, I'll fix your brakes right now.

Let me tell you something.

I want this scene in the movie to be like
a big dance number.

All right, let's celebrate, everybody.

We're going out to dinner tonight.

My treat.

Oh, I'm busy tonight.

Could I just have the money?

Yes.

Thank you.

Only two weeks and the song's already 178 on the charts.

I am so proud of Chachi.

What do you think?

I think you look like Liberace's milkman.

Yes.

Oh, Howard, he looks very nice.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm not going to wear that in public.

No, no, no.

This is just part of the big news I've got.

What happened?

Did your record move up to 177?

No.



Nope.



I'm going to get this.



Marion, would you just let him tell us so we can order?

Thank you.

Okay, everybody, hold on to your seats for this.



No.

Russ Truly is going on the road with the Beach Boys.

Whoa!

He's going on the road with the Beach Boys?

That's big time.

Well, actually, it's not just me and the Beach Boys.

There's a few other opening acts.

How many?



But I'm the only one named Chachi.

Oh, great.

Oh, Chachi, I am so proud of you.

Aren't you proud of him, Howard?

I'm proud, Marion.

I'm proud.

Now, can we order?

Order anything you want.

You know what?

I was down at Fister's Record Store.

They sold out all 48 copies of my record.

Can you believe that?

Oh, that's great.

I think I'll have...

What about this cousin of mine?

I got big news for you, Fonz.

Sure.

You going on tour?

I'm going on tour with the Beach Boys.

What do you think?

I don't got my ear to the grindstone.

No, I'm just kidding.

What do you think?

Oh, it looks just like Chachi.

You know what?

I'll tell you something.

You're going to be so big, I'm going to
make a corner over there called Chachi Land.

You know what I mean?

Let's go over and take a look.

I got a surprise for you.

You're drinking more water than a fish on fire.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I know.

It's got to be all the excitement.

Yeah, well, I got more excitement for you right here.

What's that?

Read the selections.

Chachi.

Chachi.

Chachi, Chachi, Chachi, Chachi.

Every record is mine.

That's right.

I went to the store, bought them all out, all 48 copies.

You bought them?

Yeah.

You want them to fall in the hands of strangers?

Oh, Fonz, you should have been in rehearsal today.

Yeah, who was that?

Everybody.

The Beach Boys, right?

Ed Cookey Burns.

Hey, great hair.

You know what?

Frankie Valli himself talked to me.

What'd he say?

Get out of my way, kid.

Isn't success great?

All the biggies.

Insult you, huh?

Yeah, you know what?

I got one more rehearsal tomorrow night, and then a week
from Saturday, we're off to the big time, Davenport, Iowa.

Yeah, what time's your rehearsal?

I'll pick you up.

Probably give me a chance to talk to the
Beach Boys about grooming tips.

Seven O'clock.

Or was it eight?

Yeah, I think it was eight O'clock.

And I think it was 8.30.

This is great.

This is great.

You're going on tour with the Beach Boys.

You can't remember?

No.

All right, I'm going to go make a call for
you and find out.

It's a good thing I'm here, huh?

Otherwise, civilization would be back in a bone age.

Josh, Josh, can we order now?

Yeah.

Dad's stealing French fries off the next table.

Oh, yeah, go ahead.

Thanks.

Joanie, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure.

Nothing, thanks.

Huh.

Joanie?

Why are you doing this?

Is my skirt flying up every time I turn around?

Hey, Joanie, I know that one of the big
reasons you broke up with me was because,

you know, you knew where you were going in your
life, and I was floundering and kind of getting in your way.

Well, you just need... You just
need to find yourself, that's all.

Yeah, well, uh, what I'm trying to say is,
after I come back from this tour,

I'm not going to be floundering anymore.

I'm really going to miss you.

That's all I wanted to hear.

Okay, everybody, shout time!

There you are.

I'm looking all over you.

Stop that here.

Let me tell you something, all right?

There is a rehearsal waiting for you.

Let us go.

You're not moving.

I'm not going.

You got yourself fired, didn't you?

You are so irresponsible.

I can't believe it.

No, I quit.

Why?

Call it a win.

You know, you're going to make me very angry, and
we all know what an awesome experience that could be.

I just didn't want to go.

I don't believe what you're talking here.

This is a dream of yours.

You say to me, oh, Fonz, just give me a record.

You got a record?

Oh, Fonz, please, just let him set him on tour.

You're on tour.

What'd you do, take a nap and wake up stupid?

I changed my mind, that's all.

I changed my mind, that's all.

Give me a reason.

Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't feel
like being on that big band bus.

You know, I get car sick.

Do you?

I would have had to have bought new
luggage so as to forget about it.

I am officially out.

Angry.

So get off there, give me the right
reasons, and I will fix it, all right?

You can't fix this one.

I have now moved from anger to rage.

So what?

What are you going to do to me?

I'm going to shorten your life.

Too late.

Talk to me.

I went to see a doctor.

You know, everybody going on the road has
to have an insurance physical.

Sounds very routine to me.

Yeah, only I wasn't.

It was so routine.

Why not?

I've got diabetes.

Let's see you fix that.

You've got diabetes.

Yep.

No, you don't.

You're telling me I don't.

You don't.

You're my cousin.

You're strong.

You're an athlete.

You're young.

You don't.

Fonz, I got it.

No, you don't.

I got it.

That's why I'm thirsty all the time and losing weight.

Doctor came in.

He made some tests.

And then he called another doctor and he
made some more tests.

What does that doctor know?

He's got to call another person.

Fonz, the tests were positive.

I've got it.

No, no, no.

Wait, wait, wait.

On television, Jackie Gleason, right?

I saw one show.

He was sick.

He got all worked up about it.

Went to the doctor and everything.

You know what happened?

The tests got mixed up.

He wasn't sick.

His dog was sick.

Your dog has diabetes.

I don't have a dog.

Well, I'm going to get you one.

Why can't you face it, Fonz?

We're not all like you, you know.

Most of us are mortal.

We get sick.

You watch my mouth.

You are not sick, Chachi.

Yes, I am, Fonz.

Don't you understand?

I'm a man without a future.

I got no reason to go on tour or to make
records or fall in love.

Look at this face.

She's not going to be around for much longer.

Does the doctor look like Alan Funt?

One time.

I can't hit the camera.

Alan Funt wanted a beer.

Don't you do this to me!

Hi, Chachi.

Hey, Joanie.

How you doing?

Oh, pretty good.

Good.

Not bad.

You're looking pretty good yourself.

Oh, I feel great.

Oh, that's great.

I feel great.

Really great.

I've been doing a lot of reading
the past couple of days, and

that was giving me a brand new
perspective on this whole thing.

That's wonderful.

You know, sometimes a good book can
provide just the right inspiration for living.

I agree.

Dealing with death, death, and dignity,
death of a salesman?

I'd like a good mystery.

Let me guess.

You're feeling depressed, aren't you?

No.

Not at all, Joanie.

These books have turned my life around.

Yeah?

I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Oh, Josh, that takes a lot of courage.

Yeah, this afternoon I'm going skydiving.

Why would you do that?

Well, because I'm in the fourth stage.

Fourth stage of what?

The four stages of a patient's response to
a life-threatening illness.

See, there's denial.

Well, actually, Fonzie took care of that one for me.

Uh, anger.

Yesterday I beat up Potsie.

He was great about it, though.

Grief.

Reading his books.

Yeah.

And finally, acceptance.

You know, once you, uh, know that you're
on the Titanic and you realize all the

lifeboats are gone, you might as well just
join the band, right?

But, uh, skydiving?

Maybe you should think about this a minute.

I haven't got a minute.

I got a charter plane to catch.

But, Chachi, you can't do this.

You're being totally irresponsible.

You know something?

You're right.

Look, if I don't make it back, will you
bring these back to the library for me?

Death, the ultimate diet.

Marion, please.

You've been cooking all day.

Well, I'm sorry, Howard, but baking helps
me to take my mind off things.

I'm so upset about Chachi.

Yeah, the poor kid.

Marion, these cookies are terrible.

I know that, Howard.

They're for Chachi.

They're sugarless.

You know what?

Chachi's got diabetes.

We know.

No, no, no, no, no.

Chachi's.

Chachi's really got diabetes.

I went to his doctor's office.

He said, Chachi's got diabetes.

I said, take that back.

He refused.

So I dangled him out the window.

He stuck to his g*ns, you know, so I just left.

Fonzie.

No, no, no, I brought him back in.

What kind of guy do you think I am?

Okay, Aunt Marion.

I got your dry cleaning.

And now remember, remember, these bags are not toys.

You know everything, sit down.

All right, I want you to tell me everything you know.

Well, Uncle Howard's pants had gum on the right side.

Not the cleaning, diabetes.

Well, I'm not exactly an expert in that subject, Fonz.

You went to Yale for four years,
what'd you do, walk the bulldog?

All right, we did briefly touch upon this in school.

Let me see, uh, diabetics.

Um, all right.

They have to watch their diet, they have to
exercise, and they have to take their Insulin.

As long as they do this, they can live
long, normal lives like the rest of us.

And what else?

That's it.

That's it?

Yeah.

That's it?

If that's it, then why is he acting so crazy?

Well, because it's a very big adjustment.

Fonz, I'm glad you're here.

Your cousin is insane.

Oh, no, as if he doesn't have enough problems.

They can tell all that from a blood test?

No, no, no.

He's gonna skydive out of an airplane.

Why would he want to do that?

Well, he's acting like he doesn't care
whether he lives or dies.

Well, somebody ought to say something to him.

Profitably, before he jumps out of an airplane.

I'll tell you one thing, that boy breaks
his leg, he better not come running to me.

Hey, Fonz, walking the bulldog at Yale was a great honor.

It was bathing him I didn't like.

Sorry, aren't you a little hot?

Oh, no, I haven't had a drink of hard liquor in days.

A mitt in the air.

You gotta be up this high or else your
chute won't have time to open.

And if your chute don't open, you're gonna
look like the inside of this sandwich.

You want a bite?

Who cares if I'm gonna be kissing dirt?

I'm only living for the moment anyway.

Oh, yeah.

I used to live for the moment myself.

Then I realized a fella could get k*lled.

Now I just live for the weekend.

Hey, is that the airport down there?

Either that or a bunch of planes crashed in the same place.

You seem a little nervous.

You sure you had a skydiving course and all?

I do this all the time.

Look, I forget.

Which one of these opens the chute?

Well, that one right there.

That's Mr. Ripcord.

He's your friend.

What if that one doesn't work?

Well, you could pull that one there.

And that'll open the chute?

No, but it'll give you something to do on the way down.

You sure you don't want a sandwich?

No, thank you.

Well, here we are.

Here we are where?

Geronimo time.

Come on.

Come on, kick your legs out.

Come on, get them out there.

I'll tell you when you should go, all right?

Yeah.

All right.

Maybe I should think about this, Omar.

Why don't you pay me before you go?

You ought to get my money first.

How do I work this thing?

I hope I'm doing this right.

Help me!

It's.

A tree.

The tree's not supposed to be there.

There's a tree!

I lived!

I lived!

Hi, Fonz.

So this is living.

Yeah.

You know something?

When I was up there free-falling,
I was like, Fonz, I felt so...

I felt so... Stupid.

Yeah, that's the word I'm looking for.

All right, come on, help me down.

Sure.

In a minute.

Come on, Fonz, this is making me dizzy.

You just fell 3,000 feet and this is making you dizzy.

Give me a break, all right?

All right, here's some good news.

What?

A diabetic can live a very happy
life if you just... I know all that, Fonz.

All I have to do is watch my diet, take my Insulin.

You think the doc didn't tell me that?

Oh, yeah?

Then why do you act like you got bean dip for a brain?

Because if I forget to take one little shot, I'm history.

There's a lot of things in life you gotta not do.

You gotta not play in traffic.

You gotta not drink Drano.

You gotta not hand-feed sharks.

So you gotta not forget to take your medicine, that's all.

Fonz, the doctor also told me this is the
most dangerous age for diabetics.

A young guy just out on his own.

I'm talking to you.

I can hear you through my hair.

That's why a lot of them mess up and die.

He only said that to scare you.

Well, it worked.

Come on, Fonz, you know how I am.

I'm irresponsible.

You know, I can't remember to get my brakes fixed.

I can't remember rehearsal time.

How many goldfish have we flushed because
I forgot to feed them, huh?

I don't stand a chance.

Oh.

Good.

Good thing I didn't pull that one.

Chachi, you know very, very well that I'm not
going to let you go through this diabetes thing alone.

I'm going to buy you a beautiful watch with an alarm.

That's it?

Yeah, a watch.

Yeah, with an alarm.

I mean, you set the alarm, it goes off,
you take your medicine.

No, Fonz, I'll forget to wind it.

Yeah, self-wind it.

I'll lose it.

I'll staple it to your wrist.

You know, maybe this getting diabetes is the
best thing that ever happened to you, isn't it?

Getting a serious illness is good for me?

Yeah.

Boy, they should make you a greeter at the hospital.

No, no, no.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Everybody has to grow up and take charge
of themselves, right?

People got years to do it in.

You're going to do it all in one shot.

And nobody could do anything for you but buy you a watch.

You know what?

No.

I'm scared.

Chachi.

Scared is allowed.

You know what's not allowed?

To feel ashamed because you got diabetes.

That's not allowed.

You think you get that watch from me by Saturday?

That's when the tour leaves.

See, now you sound just like a man.

Oh, I love you so much, you know that?

You came from all the way up there?

Yeah.

Meanwhile, this is some tree, huh?

Can you imagine this Christmas time?

I have to get very big ornaments, though, I'll tell you.

Maybe we could wrap Joanie up in tinfoil,
put her on top, huh?

I got you.

You're laughing.

First time in two days.

That's what I like to see.

Let's get out of here.

Just stay very, very close, because
dressed like that, I might lose you in here.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

Hello.

There's no one who can hold me when I hold you.

If you're so right, I can't be wrong.

One, two, all the time.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

These days are ours.

Happy and free.

These happy days are yours and mine.

These happy days are yours and mine.

Happy days.