05x10 - The Coffee House Set

[bunniefuu]

THE END.

I thought we played pretty good today.

Bobby!

Oh, Pete, watch out!

Gosh.

Pete, are you all right?

Oh, yeah.

Pete's the only guy I know who has band
practice and phys ed at the same time.

I should have listened to my mother.

She wanted me to take up piccolo.

Well, I thought he was going to wreck my new guitar.

Well, that is new, isn't it, Sherry?

Yeah, I got it yesterday.

Uh, mind if I try it?

No, of course not.

Thanks.

Here, hold my trumpet.

As I strolled through the streets of Dutch
City Seeking for a no-good rat named Randy.

Brown Well, you sing pretty well, too.

Well, that's just so you won't notice my guitar playing.

Sing more.

He was just a-sitting, holding to his baby And his wife
was smiling, happy as could be Hey, Robbie, you're good.

Oh, thanks.

Have you ever thought of performing in public?

Oh, no.

You know, in the right spot, you could do very well.

You think so?

Yeah.

Have you ever been to a place called the Luton Liar?

Luton Liar, no.

Well, the man that owns it is a friend of mine.

Maybe I could get you an audition.

You could?

Well, that'd be great.

Thanks, Sherry.

Gee, maybe I've discovered a real talent.

Wouldn't that be exciting?

Yeah.

Sherry, I'm sorry I'm late.

Sherry!

Robbie?

What have you done to yourself?

Me?

Oh, you can't go looking like that.

Well, like what?

Like that.

Man, you'd never make this scene.

They'd boo you right off the stage.

Well, what can I do?

Well, we'll have to ad-lib something so
you won't disgrace yourself.

That's Tanya.

Isn't that funny?

She looks a bit like Martha June Fablemire.

Martha June Fablemire is her square name.

Here she's Tanya.

She's good, but, uh, why doesn't she use music?

That is music.

Our music.

Last week she did a whole ballet to the
sound of an automatic washing machine.

Itchy, this is Robbie Douglas.

Itchy here holds the key to this joint.

How you doing, Mr. Ritchie?

Likewise.

Sherry here says you turn her on when you
tangle with that tickle box.

Well, we'll put you on a gawk walk and
check the seismograph.

Hit it.

What's that trademark again?

Robbie Douglas.

Little sweat, but not too bad.

Well, come on, cats, pursue me.

And one for you.

And one for you.

And one for you.

Give the cats a chance to sop up a little
jiver, then yours truly will put you on.

Bye.

Isn't it, Chief Bob?

Yeah, I guess so.

I didn't understand most of what he said.

It takes a while to get with it.

But till you do, man, you're nowhere.

All the guys seem to have beards.

Well, naturally.

A naked chin is indecent.

Cats, cats, cats.

We got a new hooter in the old lootin' liar this P.M.

Robbie Douglas.

I mean, now, he's gonna strum and hum.

He's gonna shake and shout.

Gonna Rumble and roar.

Who's his head?

Who's his head?

Here he is now.

Oh, feed it to him there, Big D.

Feed it to him.

As I strolled through the streets of Dark
City Seekin' for a no-good rat named Randy.

Brown I paused by chance and I glanced
into his window I saw him there,

but I couldn't sh**t him down.

He was just a-sittin', holdin' to his baby
And his wife was smiling, happy as could

be I reckon someday someone's gonna k*ll
him But for now, the lucky k*ller won't be

me I had reason to believe there were aces
up his sleeve On the night at table

stakes, he won my farm And he caused me
some trouble Some disgrace, throwin'

whiskey in my face But I couldn't bring
myself to do him harm So I stood there in

the streets of Dutch City Thinkin'
low-down thoughts about old Randy Brown.

But I'll never, never pull my trusty
trigger Till he sets that darlin' little

baby down Till he sets that darlin' little baby down.

I asked you, I asked you, man, does this cat swing?

You've got talented tonsils, Big D.

Oh, you're sendin' it.

Now, don't stop till we're gone.

Where did the years go?

Where did the years go?

Gone like the light as a train rolls by.

Gone like the dust of a windswept sky.

Where did the dreams go?

Where did the dreams go?

Gone like the light as a train rolls by.

The lights as a train rolls by,
gone like the dust of a wind-swept sky.

The.

Lights as a train rolls by, gone like.

The dust of a wind-swept sky.

The lights as a train rolls by,
gone like the dust of a wind-swept sky.

Thank you.

Uh, you don't look like the type of who
digs, uh, so who put you on the loot and liar?

Uh, Robbie Douglas.

Robbie Douglas?

Oh, he's one swinging cat.

Uh, has he been on yet?

Oh, yeah, but he'll be back.

Oh.

Later.

Hold it!

Uh, are you talking to me?

Yes.

I'm doing you.

Oh, you are?

Don't look at me.

You'll spoil it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That.

That.

Keep that look.

It's beautiful.

It's so square.

It's hip.

That's what you've done.

What have I done?

You have reached the essence of
squareness, and essence has really turned me on.

Are you painting with mustard?

Yes, and raspberry jam for texture.

Why not?

Well, it's just that most
painters... The rule says you can't?

You break it.

But mustard and raspberry jam?

That.

Lovely.

You look like you're shocked.

I'm going to call it...

The fifth side of a square.

Is the picture finished?

No, no, it's... it's setting.

I'm Lola.

Lola Winant.

I'm, uh, Steve Douglas.

Steve.

Steve, that fits you.

Names usually don't match essence.

Miss Winant, are you employed here?

I mean, do you get paid for... Oh, no, no.

I just wander around and paint and... When
I'm in a mustard mood, I paint in a restaurant.

You dig?

Well, yes, yes, I suppose I dig.

You know, I mean, like, uh, like every
Tom, d*ck, and Irving has a beard.

It's real kick-spell to see a chin all the way.

Well, that's nice.

Oh, I'm tired.

Creativity is so exhausting.

I must renew myself.

Renew yourself?

Yes, you know, the zen bit.

You just start counting your breath.

Watch.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Miss Winant, wait a minute.

Can't, can't, can't, can't, can't.

O'Casey's going to really put you into orbit tonight.

Tento, four, two, three, of the voyages of
a vagrant in a vacuum.

Let the corpuscles coagulate.

Do you think, look?

I never saw a purple platter pull it.

I never saw a purple platter pull it.

Oh, whatever happened to George I.

Cosgrove?

Miss Wyden, is that the George I.

Cosgrove?

Why, I'm sorry.

Help!

Clean, clean, clean.

Off, says Cindy.

Oh, did I miss something?

Well, no, I would...

There was a poor boy.

I got to get something.

Oh, itchy.

I adore his things.

They're so divinely meaningless.

Steve, I like you.

Well...

It's... It's my way of rebelling.

It's my way of rebelling.

It's my way of rebelling.

I mean, Robbie, isn't that your father
sitting over there with Lola?

Oh, Sherry, you can be as hip as you want,
but please don't talk that way about my father.

I mean, he's as square as they come.

There's my dad.

By the way, where is the coffeehouse kid?

Oh, where else?

Upstairs curling his beard.

Funny thing, now that he doesn't care how he looks,
he spends twice as much time in front of the mirror.

You gonna let him run around with this bunch, Steve?

Well, Bub, if you take it too seriously,
it just could make it worse, you know?

You're probably right.

Maybe if we could figure out some way to
make Robbie see himself the way he looks to us.

Gee whiz, I gotta pick up Sally.

Right, I gotta go, too.

We're teeing off at one O'clock.

See you later, Bub.

Thanks, Bub.

I'll get it.

Hello?

Oh, uh, who's calling, please?

Jim, Dad, it's for you.

Oh, who is it?

She says, like Lola Winant.

Lola Winant?

I forgot to tell you, she called this morning
when you were downtown getting the papers.

Oh.

Well, Mike, just tell her I'm out playing golf.

Who's Lola Winant, Dad?

She's an artist I met down at this joint last night.

She's painting my portrait, man,
like with mustard and raspberry jam.

I, uh, I'm sorry, I tried to catch him.

He's gone to play golf.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I will.

All right.

Like with mustard and raspberry jam?

Hey, baby, where you been?

You're just in time for the fun and games.

Tell me.

Oh, that's cool.

That's cool.

So cool.

Well, no skins, my baby.

I won't get it just for you, baby.

I won't get it.

Right now.

Here we go.

What's going on here?

Like no more squares in this round pad, man.

Give.

Him a poem.

That's a poem?

They call this the mediocre poker.

Hey, let's hear the beat, Cap.

What's that?

If you can keep your beard when all about
you are shaving there.

A pinch of salt.

Crackle.

Oh, find a future in cold coffee grounds.

A pet to pet.

I dream of Ribble Flavin' with the chartreuse caboose.

A dab of cream cheese.

Sizzle.

Way down yonder in New Restini.

A dollop of chicken fat.

Ding dong, chicken fat, chicken fat, chicken fat.

And what is more, you'll be a cat man.

Boom.

Yeah, I'm crazy, the greatest.

That's very funny.

You're all real hysterical.

Trying to make fun of something you don't even understand.

You don't even, even try to appreciate.

That's always the way, isn't it?

You know, they made fun of Columbus.

And Shakespeare.

And the Wright brothers.

But I didn't think my own family would...

My own flesh and blood could...

Well, I guess it didn't exactly work out like we planned.

I think we did more harm than good.

This was your idea, Big Daddy.

Chicken fat, chicken fat, chicken fat.

Probably better than itchy.

We ought to get a picture of this group.

What a knockdown punch.

These doggone beards.

Pretty ridiculous.

Hey, welcome back, baby.

Bob, you're the weirdest.

I don't know about that.

The more I think about it, the more I dig.

Ding dong chicken.

Chicken fat.

I can't stop it.

It's glued on.

Valerie was disappointed not to see you this trip.

I wasn't up at the lodge.

Quiet.

Valerie was subdued enough even to please
an old square like you.

Nice to meet you.

This is Chip.

Asna Simmons.

Who's here to see me?

Miss Lola Winant?

How did you know?

Well, you didn't tell her I was in.

Oh, you did?

Well, I guess I'll have to see her then.

Yeah.

Al, would you excuse me?

I'm expecting someone to... Oh, anyone I know?

No, no.

I just met her myself.

One of your nice, quiet, conventional types?

Well, not exactly.

Probably met her at a PTA committee.

No, no.

As a matter of fact, I met her...

Oh, am I intruding?

No.

No, not at all.

Al, this is Miss Lola Winant.

This is Al Hastings.

He works here at the plant.

How do you do?

How do you do?

Steve, I just dropped by to see when I
could steer you for an hour.

I've got to have you at my studio so I can
finish the portrait.

Well, I was just leaving the plant.

How about right now?

Well, fine.

Al, Miss Winant is an artist.

She's doing my portrait.

Oh.

She's using a new technique.

At least it's new to me.

She's doing it in mustard and raspberry jam.

Oh, on the way there, we'll stop at the market
because I'm finishing the background in peanut butter.

In peanut butter?

Isn't that interesting?

Well, I owe you an excuse.

She's a very clever girl.

Hey,

black and white.

White fans, be with us tomorrow night when we
say goodbye to some cherished TV land neighbors.

It's Night of the Setting Suns,
a sentimental all-night retrospective

spanning the entire history of the My Three Sons saga.

The laughter, the tears, the puberty.

It's all here for the last time tomorrow
night starting at midnight, 11 central,

on Naked Night Overnight.

Naked Night Overnight.