05x29 - Chip, the Trapper

[bunniefuu]

Explain.

Go ahead, explain chocolate all over the front of my shirt.

Didn't you ever have an ice cream bar and
a hot movie theater?

What's wrong, Mike?

Oh, I give him one of my best-dressed shirts so he can look
sharp on his date, and that's the way he brings it home.

Oh.

Well, now that he's a working man, he
can buy you a new one on his lunch hour.

You're darn right.

Dad, I'm not a corporation president.

I work part-time in a car wash.

Come on, Rob, hurry up.

Don't spend the day in there, huh?

Hey, I'm next, Dad.

I thought I was next.

Well, I'll flip you for it.

All right.

Call it.

Ed's.

You're next.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Chipper.

Hurry up, Rob.

Hey, I'm next in there.

Yeah, then I'm next after Mike.

Well, I'm sure glad I don't have a nosebleed or something.

I'd die before I got into the bathroom.

That's my guess, kind of a temper, isn't it?

Well, I wouldn't say so, considering the
amount of chocolate you got on the shirt.

I'll see if I can talk Uncle Charlie into
sausages for breakfast.

Hey, Dad?

Yeah, Chipper.

He gets cuddles, no?

Oh, well, that's fine, Charlie.

I like it.

Bill, P.S.L.

Thanks.

I'll be glad when this vacation is over
and things are back to normal chaos.

Well, I got to scoot.

I'm going to help open up the car wash.

See you white-collar workers later.

Yeah, see you tonight, Rob.

Hiya, tr*mp.

Hello there, Trampo.

Get that worthless hunk of seaweed out of here.

He's been digging bones in the backyard,
and I just scrubbed his galley.

Yeah, he's a little gritty, but...

Isn't it amazing how he understands?

Yeah.

Well, Trevor, what are you planning on doing today?

I don't know.

I feel useless.

I wish there was something I could do.

Well, let's see.

Well, maybe you could help Uncle Charley around the house.

How about that, Uncle Charley?

Thanks, but I pass.

With him and that dog in the house,
this would be a disaster area before noon.

Why not go around shining shoes or selling lemonade?

Yeah, you'd have fun, and maybe you could
pick up a little pocket money.

Now, that's kid stuff.

Mike and Robbie are really working.

Listen, Chip, when you get to be our age,
you can do the same thing.

Yeah, don't rush it, Chipper.

A time when you really have to work will come soon enough.

What'd you do when you were my age, Uncle Charley?

I was working my way up in portable,
playing the cello and dancing three shows a day.

Me and Bub had an act.

I was earning a man's wages.

And when I got to be your dad's age,
I signed up with the merchant marine.

And here I am.

I'll see you later.

Where will you be?

Nowhere special.

I just want to think for a while.

Hey, uh, why don't you work on inventing a
perpetual motion machine?

Then none of us would have to work again.

Boy, Champ, we make a great pair.

A couple of freeloaders.

Hi, Champ.

Hey, Chip, want to go to the library with me?

What for?

I got to get this book back before they put me in jail.

It was due yesterday.

I'm busy.

You don't look busy.

I'm thinking.

Do you know anything about perpetual motion machines?

I thought I invented one once.

It was like a windmill.

All I had to blow on it when the wind stopped.

Can't be done.

Boy, everybody in my family works except me.

Even Uncle Charley, when he was my age,
was working and making money.

I feel, well, like a vampire bat.

You mean a leech.

You know what you mean.

My mom's been after my dad to buy her a fur coat.

Those things cost a lot of money.

I wish I could help her get one.

This book's about Davy Crockett.

He was a trapper.

If he wanted a fur coat, he just went out in the forest
and caught a whole bunch of beavers or something.

I bet if we had a trap, we could do it, too.

How much did they cost?

It wouldn't cost anything if we built it ourselves.

It shows how they used to make a box trap.

Let's see.

Uncle Charley wouldn't have yelled when he
told Marla to stand for lunch if he knew

how much money we were going to make trapping.

We'll catch at least enough to make a coat worth $5,000.

I'd like to see a fur coat made out of a
scum with that pretty white stripe.

That'd be neater than those dumb foxes
some ladies wear around their necks.

Little pink eyes.

Ernie, we want minks or beavers, not scums.

Well, I think we're ready.

We'll have a tryout in the park.

I'm glad we made a box trap.

It won't hurt anything, and we can let
loose whatever we don't want.

Yeah, we need some bait.

I'll go see what Uncle Charley has on hand.

Uncle Charley, what do minks like to eat the best?

How should I know?

What are you flaky kids doing now?

Ernie and me are going to the trapping business.

We're going to catch enough animals to
make a fur coat worth $5,000.

You guys aren't the only ones who can make money, you know.

Trap fur coats.

You guys may win the stupid award.

I bet you we make more trapping than you do washing cars.

Say, you know, Chip, if you're going to be
an entrepreneur, you're going to have to

know about things like corporate law and
tax structures, capital gains,

labor management relations, and supply and demand.

And, of course, health and accident
insurance coverage for your employees.

It's just me and Ernie.

Chip, if I were you, I'd go bankrupt now.

You don't stand a chance.

You wait and see, Robbie.

Just you wait.

Okay, tycoon.

Here's some sardines for a bake.

Hey, with sardines, maybe you can trap a
couple of pieces of bread and make a sandwich.

Thanks, Uncle Chuck.

See you later, Mike.

So long.

Trap furs and Bryant Park.

We sure have a kooky brother.

Why, those sardines are really powerful.

I can smell them all the way from here.

You don't smell the ones in the trap.

You smell these.

Yeah.

I don't see how you can touch them.

Huh?

I had to beat the trap.

That's part of the job.

Hey, look.

We got him.

Come on.

That brews it.

This trap really works.

Yeah.

Lovely.

Boys, what have you done to Fluffy?

Nothing, ma'am.

We're trying out our new trap.

We're going to catch fur-bearing animals
and make them fur coat.

Out of helpless little cats, you get him
out of there this instant.

This instant.

Okay, ma'am.

Serves you right.

Baby, what is those naughty boys?

Boy, true beavers aren't that mean.

Ladies that own.

What?

At least we know the trap works.

Now to the woods and the real thing.

Hey, Chip, until you get rid of those
sardines, try to stay down with me, will you?

Charlie.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hey, uh, what's all this mess?

Young kid, Carson.

Chip and Ernie built a trap.

A trap?

Yeah.

They're going into the fur business.

Oh.

Well, couldn't they just trade r*fles and
colored beads where the Indians prefer?

I think they want to eliminate the middleman.

Well, I'd like to put the car in the garage.

Tell Chip to come out here and I'll help
him clean it out of the way.

Oh, he's not home.

He and his business associate are out in the field.

Well, then I'll get out of the way.

Don't you like little sardines?

I'll come back after dinner and check the traps.

Those beavers like sardines.

You ought to have something by then.

Boy, whatever we get, it's going to have
to be skinny and dumb.

You'd have to be starving and stupid to eat those sardines.

Cute.

Hey, look.

Wild beast.

A genuine wild beast.

Is that what I think it is?

God, it's a skunk.

Can I get that sardine?

Only.

I sure hope he doesn't like it.

Come on.

Do a stand.

tr*mp, come back.

I've got stickers for you.

tr*mp, don't go down.

Oh!

Any word from tr*mp yet?

Nope.

I think he's ashamed to come home since he met the skunk.

Chip doesn't exactly smell like perfume either.

That's the business he's in.

Yeah, you know, if he catches enough cats,
he can really go into business.

He'll become a mouse exterminator.

Don't be too hard on him.

Maybe this trapping venture means more to
him than we realize.

This morning he was saying how lonely and useless he feels.

I guess he thinks he's the only one around
here who isn't contributing to the family effort.

I guess he thinks he's the only one around
here who isn't contributing to the family effort.

He's only a kid.

You know, I think you have something there, Dad.

Remember this morning what he said about shoe shining?

A kid's job?

He'll be able to really work soon enough.

That doesn't make things any easier for him now, Rod.

Hiya, Chip.

Any sign of tr*mp yet?

Uh-uh.

Where are your hides?

Did you trade them in for supplies?

Rob.

Thanks, Uncle Charlie.

No luck, huh, Chip?

No, I looked everywhere for him.

He'll come home, Chipper.

As soon as the smell wears off.

Yeah, speaking of smell.

Yeah, Chipper, uh, you still smell a little fishy.

Why don't you try another bath?

Maybe that'll do it, huh?

Yes, sir.

And listen, if tr*mp doesn't come home pretty
soon, I'll take the car out and go looking for him.

Yeah, we'll find him, don't you worry.

And maybe tomorrow you'll trap something
really, uh, worthwhile, hmm?

Yeah, tomorrow will be a good day for you.

I'm not gonna trap anymore.

That's the reason tr*mp's gone.

He thinks we don't like him anymore.

I don't get it.

How could he expect to find a mate?

We warned you that he couldn't catch anyone.

Listen, it wasn't too many years ago when
you wanted to be a rodeo champion.

And then you found out you got saddle
sores from riding a pony around a ring.

Chip's got a different kind of hurt.

In a different place.

Well, it kind of looks like you and tr*mp
have something in common.

What do you mean, Dad?

Well, he gave up by running away.

You're doing the same thing with your trapping.

I guess we both know when we'll be.

Chip, someday you may run dead last in a hundred-yard dash.

Or you may get the lowest Mark in your
classroom in a spelling test.

But those will only be tragedies if you haven't trained
properly or if you haven't studied as hard as you should have.

The important thing, Chip, is to always
try to do the very best you can.

Or if you do that, you'll never have
anything to be ashamed of.

I guess you're right, Dad.

Well, better get in your pajamas.

It's almost bedtime.

Yeah, I gotta get up early and check the trap.

Right, Dad.

Good night, Chip.

Now, I gotta brush your teeth, huh?

Okay.

What's your poison, stranger?

Three fingers of cherry soda.

Three fingers?

You must be making up for lost time, stranger.

You a trapper?

Yep.

I'm looking for my partner.

Big shaggy critter.

Hard to smell by.

He a trapper, too?

Nope.

He's a dog.

Sorry, never heard of him.

I brought you my winner's cat.

Who's the Jasper I talked to about trading?

Oh, let it be Robbie.

He owns this place and tried to get everything in town.

That's him who we are.

Danny!

Welcome to my town, stranger.

Are you Robbie?

You've got me pegged, hombre.

What can I do you for?

I've brung in my season's catch.

Want to do some trading for my parents.

And, uh, wouldn't you rather take a bath first?

What month is it?

April.

Too soon.

Let's trade.

Maybe we can do some business, friend.

How much you figure your hides are worth?

Well, I reckon altogether they're worth
about $5,000 on most any market.

It's you and me who find us a table where
we can party in private, eh?

I don't reckon Robbie has honest
intentions toward that trapper.

I'm sure he'll be asking him to play a few hands.

Let's keep a close watch on him.

This could be the time to move in.

Yep.

Maybe.

Uh, how many hides you got, partner?

Here's good luck to you, huh?

Great stuff.

How about a couple of friendly hands of
cards while we discuss our business, stranger?

I'm a mite out of practice.

Spent so much of my time in the wild.

I don't object to a few hands of cards.

Well, good.

You put up your hands.

You're dirty.

Well, I beat you again, partner.

Now, looks like you're in luck for long runouts.

Can't figure out what happened before.

You just signed this bill of sale for your hides, yeah?

Yeah.

Shut your hand, cook.

Right there.

You're following him for nothing.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Now.

Now.

Hold.

It, I say.

Robbie,

I'm a United States...

I'm a United States Marshal, and I'm
placing you under arrest.

You ain't got no warrant for my arrest.

No, wait, I know.

I've got it right here.

I'm putting you under arrest for...

Cheating at cards and tampering with the drinks.

Water in the lemon, lime,
orange, and... What'd that guy say?

Strawberry.

Yeah, strawberry.

Water in the lemon, lime, orange, and strawberry soda.

Now, wait a minute.

And that's not all, Robbie.

I'm... I'm from the Department of Labor.

And when the Marshal here is through with
you, there's a judge that wants to talk to

you about violating the rights of your employees.

New ex to pay for overtime?

No health and accident insurance?

No paid vacations for fringe benefits?

It's.

A genuine animal!

It's a.

Genuine animal!

Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Mike.

Any luck?

No, not a sign of him.

I looked all over the place.

Well, I'm calling the newspaper.

I'm going to put an ad in the Lawson Farm now.

Say, how would you describe tr*mp, anyway?

Well, he's a big...

He's a big furry dog.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Uncle tr*mp, everybody, look what I got in the woods!

Well, my golly, Chip, what did you get here?

I trapped him, aren't you mean?

No kidding.

Look at that.

A big raccoon, huh?

Chip's made a real catch.

That's a valuable fur.

He actually did it.

I told you today was going to be a big day for you.

Looks like you've got him trained already, Chipper.

Larnie and me fed him some grapes.

Wow.

Now that you've got him, what are you going to do with him?

What do you mean, Dad?

Well, a raccoon isn't like a sheep.

I mean, to get the fur, you just don't shear him.

If you want a fur coat, you're going to
have to k*ll him and skin him.

k*ll him?

That cute little fellow?

I couldn't do that, Dad.

I didn't think you could.

Well, anyway, Robbie, I proved I'm a trapper.

You got me there, Chip.

You were on the ball all the time.

I was the one who was wrong.

Okay, then I'm going to take him back to
the woods and let him go.

How about that $5,000 fur coat?

Well, with all those fringe benefits and
everything, I don't want to get involved.

Yeah?

Did you find tr*mp yet?

Oh, no, but we're working on it, Chip.

We'll find him.

I'll get it.

Douglas, residence?

Yes.

I'm from the SPCA.

We got something out in the truck I think belongs to you.

It's tr*mp!

Get home for me, will you?

Sure, sure.

Hold on.

Not so fast, young fella.

Bunch of Girl Scouts found him in the
woods and they regret it.

It's got quite a scent.

I don't think if it's so to you.

tr*mp, baby!

Oh, we missed you.

We couldn't wait for you.

I, uh, I think what you smell on him is old sardines.

Sardines?

Yeah, it's kind of a long story.

You see, my son, the trapper, his
associate Ernie, went into the...

You don't have to have a grape on you, do you?

Grape?

You don't smell so bad.

Oh!

Why, we miss you, yeah!

Oh, what are we going to do?

Oh, what do we got here?

Charley, what's all this?

Chip's latest venture.

The lumber and nails are what's left from
building a sluice.

A sluice?

Yeah.

Chip and Ernie are going to look for gold
in the Bryant River.

From trapper to prospector.

Sounds like, Chip, gold in the river.

If you can find any gold in Bryant Park, I'll...

You'll, uh, partner up.

I'll ask him if he needs another partner.

Well, let's clear this out of the way.