06x04 - Robbie and the Chorus Girl

[bunniefuu]

The plane was late taking off.

When Bryant Park was fogged in, we had to land at Braxton.

We've had a two-hour bus ride.

Ernie stayed up till about 10 waiting to
say hello, and then he folded.

No, I'm sorry.

I should have called, I guess.

Chip held out till about 11, and then he conked out too.

Well, it's good it's Friday night.

They can sleep late in the morning.

Robbie was here till about 11.30 and then he had to leave.

He had a date.

Oh.

Robbie Leffra dated 11.30?

That's exactly what I said.

What's he dating, a night watchman?

All right, make jokes.

But let me tell you, when I was 19, somebody should have
been checking on where I was going and what I was doing.

Well, I don't worry about Robbie.

He's got a good head on his shoulders.

I don't doubt it.

But if I were you, I'd find out whose head it is.

If I were you, I'd find out whose head it is.

Oh, hey, Don.

Come here a minute.

Don O'Day, Rob Douglas.

Hi.

Well, well, well, hello there.

This is certainly a delightful pleasure.

Same here.

Don.

An exquisite name, if I may say so.

Well, with O'Day, it's kind of a grabber.

Don, it reminds me of those wonderful
lines from Romeo and Juliet.

Rosy-fingered Don.

Well, get him.

Come on, rosy-fingered.

Let's get out of these get-ups before
these blues drive you nuts.

I haven't sat down for almost two hours.

Same here.

See you.

I'm counting on it, my dear.

Well, that's not a bad line you've got
there for a freshman.

Well, it's been adequate in the past.

Well, don't forget the arrangements.

Now, we have something to eat together,
and then we go our separate ways.

Two by two, huh?

Naturally.

Boy, you take these women right in stride, don't you?

Cigarette?

No, I brought my father's... My father.

Hello there.

I remember when I was 19, I had a blind date once.

She turned out to be a redhead, played the accordion.

Had rhinestones and sequins down both sides.

The accordion, not the redhead.

Look, Charlie, I realize Robbie's growing up,
but he's always had very good sense about girls.

I mean, all his dates have been nice, wholesome kids.

You mean so far?

Well, sure, sure.

What I mean is, Charley, can you imagine
Robbie out on the town someplace living it

up with some blonde in a tight-fitting dress?

So then Mr. Harris, the club manager, he
says to me, when I say blonde, I mean blonde.

At least I don't have to worry about that.

Mine's natural.

Fortunately, since beautiful women should never worry.

Say, this boy really swings, doesn't he?

Yeah.

Hey, do you ever light that pipe?

You just keep chewing on it.

Oh, this.

I use a rather strong mixture, so I
actually light up only in my, uh, den.

Uh, hey, if, uh, you two want to go
anyplace without us, just go right ahead.

I'll take care of the check.

Oh, not at all, not at all.

This is a very, uh...

Well, as they say, three's a crowd and
four's just two times two.

Well, Wanda, it was, uh, certainly a nice meeting you.

Uh, I left my car parked outside.

I mean, you know, on the street.

Oh, well, that's probably the best place for it.

Hey, Steve.

Steve.

Huh?

Are you awake?

Yeah, yeah.

What's wrong, Charlie?

What's the matter?

It's two o'clock.

Two o'clock, huh?

Oh, thanks for telling me, Charlie.

Good night.

Robbie isn't home yet.

Oh.

Oh, didn't you tell me he didn't go out
until almost midnight?

Well, the only kind of a girl I ever dated
starting at midnight was a chorus girl.

Chorus girl, huh?

Well, that's about as good a guess as a night watchman.

Good night, Charlie.

This is no time of the night to be funny.

No, that's right.

Why don't we get some sleep, huh?

All right, fine.

Go to sleep.

But don't blame me if your son is getting
into a parked car somewhere with a chorus girl.

Okay, Charlie, if my son is getting into a parked
car someplace with a chorus girl, I won't blame you.

Good night.

Oh, it's so good to relax.

Yeah.

It's getting pretty late, isn't it?

Just a little after two.

After two?

Oh, boy, it is getting late.

I'll tell you, I think maybe I ought to take you home.

Take me home?

Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought, to take you home.

It's probably a very sensible idea.

Now, you just tell me where you live and
I'll take you right there.

I'll drive you right over there.

And don't worry, it's perfectly all right.

I have a lot of studying to do.

Oh, somebody's honking.

I better move out of the way.

You just leaned on the horn.

I did.

Really?

What's going on, anyhow?

Why the big change all of a sudden?

Oh, it's just that I have a lot of studying
and, well, it kind of makes me nervous.

Well, at supper you seem so, well,
you know, happy to have a date with me.

I am.

I am.

Really.

Well, am I so different out here?

No, no, no.

Only, uh...

Only what?

Well, only... I think maybe I better go home.

Robbie, how old are you?

Well, I'm... I'm old enough to vote, as they say.

Well, in class elections, that is.

Nineteen.

Well, so am I.

You... Well, you...

Well, you look older than that.

Oh, well, thanks a lot.

Well, no, I didn't mean old that way.

I meant that, well, not young.

Sure.

Look, do you really have to go home and study?

It's Friday night.

Well...

The bowling alley's open all night.

You don't want to go bowling.

I mean, you want to go bowling?

Sure, it's fun.

Have you ever tried it?

Well, sure, only...

Well, you don't look as if... I mean, I thought that you...

Well, sure, why not?

I mean, it's not even 2.30 yet.

All I'm asking is, how many times are you
going to let a 19-year-old kid run out

with some girl you don't know anything
about and come home with the milkman?

What did you do to your tie?

Sit on it?

Hey, it is kind of wrinkled, isn't it?

I better go.

What are you doing?

Just a minute.

Oh, Charlie, it would be much simpler to go
upstairs and put on another tie, wouldn't it?

Now, just suck in your Adam's apple.

You be careful.

Smooth as the ocean in a flat town.

Thank you very much.

You know, Robbie used to give us flash
bulletins about what girl's number one on

this list, but nothing about this one, not even
her name, and he's been dating her for two weeks.

Well, I admit I don't like the idea of
Robbie staying out so late.

I'm going to have a talk with him tonight.

Now you're making sense, and find out who the girl is.

Whoever she is, I'm sure she's very nice, Charlie.

She sure looks nice in that picture Robbie has.

Robbie's got a picture of her?

Sure.

He keeps it where anybody can see it,
under his socks and T-shirts.

Ernie, have you been in Robbie's... It's okay, Dad.

Robbie showed it to me himself.

I think he just put it under his shirts and stuff
because she hasn't got hardly very much clothes on.

Oh.

Robert yet.

Charlie, I don't think we have any right to.

Do Robert would love Dawn.

It's a very nice picture, Charlie.

Nice back lighting.

Speaking of the back, listen to this.

This, Dawn O'Day, glamorous club gala
girl, appearing nightly.

Well, she turned out not to be the night
watchman after all.

You better talk to him now.

He's out in the garage.

Oh, no, Charlie.

I, uh, I guess maybe I'd better.

With love.

Rob, could I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, Dad.

I have to bring this up because, uh... Because
Uncle Charlie told you I've been coming home so late.

Well, yes.

You have to admit, you've been keeping
some pretty unusual hours.

Yeah, I know, Dad, but you see Dawn,
that's her name, Dawn O'Day, she works at

this job where she doesn't get finished
till after midnight.

Well, this, uh, this girl, this, uh... Dawn.

Dawn.

You're pretty interested in seeing her, huh?

Oh, am I ever, Dad.

And if you knew her, you'd be too.

Dad, she is just the most... I mean, she has...

What I mean is she's so...

So nice.

Well, that's fine, Rob.

This sophomore at school, Phil Ramsey,
he knew this girl that worked at the same

place as Don, and so he fixed up this date
so that he'd be alone with this girl.

You met her on a blind date, huh?

Yeah.

Well, there was this bull session at the
dorm, and we were talking about girls,

you know, and, well, I talked like I knew
more than I did, and Phil took me up on it

to take his girlfriend's girlfriend off his hands.

I did the same thing when I was,
uh, well, I was about your age.

I didn't really know what I was getting myself in for.

But when I met her and she was so great
and we just hit it off and everything, well.

...

Dad, I figured that you wouldn't be so
keen about the hours as a steady thing.

But I'm only dating her on Fridays and
Saturdays so I can sleep in late the next day.

Well, Rob, at your age, I really can't complain too
much about you staying out later on weekends, but...

Swell, Dad, then there's no problem, huh?

Well...

Now...

Well, I'll see you, Rob.

Well, you see, Charlie?

You're not going to let him get away with it, are you?

Well, he's not trying to get away with anything.

I didn't hear him tell you anything about
her working in the nightclub.

Well, he probably didn't think it made any difference.

Oh, she's so nice, he says.

I imagine she is nice, Charlie.

Then you sure have a real good imagination
or real bad eyesight.

You look at the picture.

Talk about flashy blondes.

Oh, Steve, face it.

This is not the kind of a girl that Robbie's
going to bring home to meet the family.

Stanley.

Dad.

Say, Dad, excuse me, Uncle Charley.

Dad, I forgot to ask you.

Can I bring Dawn home for supper next Sunday?

I want her to meet the family.

Well, you'd like to meet her, wouldn't you, Charlie?

That's fine, Rob.

Well, thanks, Tim.

Thanks, Uncle Charley.

I'll see you, Charlie.

So now, all of a sudden, he wants her to meet the family.

Why?

What's that supposed to mean?

Come on, Uncle Charley.

First, she got all turned on because
Robbie didn't introduce this girl to us.

And now you're blowing your fuse because he's going to.

As far as I'm concerned, it's fair enough
having Rob running around with a

coarseline cutie without exposing you and Ernie to her.

What do you mean expose?

Has she got something catchy?

Probably a cold from not wearing any clothes hardly.

Yeah.

Boy, he's really spinning his wheels.

You think she'll be wearing balloons, like in the picture?

Of course not.

It's her day off.

You ever see a girl wearing balloons on her day off?

I think you ought to tell me stuff like that.

Why not?

Because Uncle Charley says I'm impressionable.

Hi, everybody.

Here's Don.

How about that?

Did you hear that?

Here's Don.

Like he expects us to give her a drum roll
and a 21-g*n salute.

Let's go see what she looks like.

Come on, we'd better take the first look from here.

It may take a little getting used to.

Well, hello.

Dad, this is Don O'Day.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, it's nice to meet you, Don.

Can you see her?

Just her back.

Well, Don, uh... She's turning around now.

Well, Robbie's told me a lot about the family, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, yeah.

Gosh!

Gee whiz, Uncle Charley.

She's a plain, ordinary old girl.

Oh, Mr. O'Casey, I'll never be able to fit into my costume.

Well, now, what have you had that was fattening?

Just meat and potatoes and gravy and corn
on the cob and apple pie?

With ice cream.

Now, what's fattening about that?

Oh, you have such a homey home, Mr. Douglas.

Well, thank you, Don.

Everything seems just about perfect.

I'll bet this is real old family silver.

Well, sure.

And that thumbprint there is an old family trademark.

Ernie puts it on every fork we have.

You live here in town?

I have a room in a boarding house, but I don't
spend much time there, what with working late and all.

You've been in your line of work long?

Oh, yes, a long time.

Well, it couldn't have been too long, Don.

You're just not old enough.

Well, I quit school in the ninth grade.

Hey, neat.

I didn't know you could do that.

Well, don't let that give you any ideas.

Why not?

She didn't got a good job.

Oh, Chip, I was a dope.

You know, empty upstairs.

You'd better finish school.

I wish I had.

Gosh, I bet I'm as dumb as you are.

Chip.

Well, I think I'll take this gala girl and see what
she can do about knocking down some tenpins.

You'll be sharing some again, won't you, darling?

Thank you.

Yeah, it's been real nice having you around.

Considering you're a girl.

Come on.

Now I know what they mean when they talk about a home life.

Come on.

Gosh, Uncle Charley, you said she'd have
on tons of perfume and stuff.

Yeah, I got up close and all she had on was soap.

Suppose you guys cruise out in the kitchen
and start hoisting the dish rag.

I'll be out in a minute.

That's okay.

We can wait for you here.

Come on, Ernie.

What?

When you reach my age, you'll get the message.

I'll be out in a minute.

Meet Preston Guanti and do the dishes
while he talks to Dad in private.

That kid's getting pretty sharp.

We got nothing to worry about Robbie's taste in girls, huh?

I think she's a very nice girl, Charlie.

Wholesome, too.

Quitting school in the ninth grade.

Real good influence on Robbie.

And smart.

Oh, she was good in quick spotting the silver.

And she didn't miss much about the house, either.

I expected her to check up on your mortgage payments.

I think you're being unfair.

That kind of a girl just wants one thing, a
husband with money or with a family that's got money.

And the way she was looking over this
place, I think the Douglas family passed the test.

I doubt that.

Yeah?

Well, how about a little bet?

Five bucks says that any day now,
you get a call or a note from Miss Dawn.

O'Day saying that she's got something to talk over.

Well... And that something is about Robbie Proctor.

Promising to marry her if you'll support them.

Or you'll support her while she doesn't marry Robbie.

I don't think she'll say anything like that.

Five bucks says you'll get a note or a phone call.

No bet, Charley.

She slipped me this note just before the
apple pie on the mord.

She wants me to meet her tomorrow evening at the club gala.

Ah, you see?

I don't see anything.

Make yourself at home, Mr. Douglas.

I guess you're wondering why I wrote that note.

You know, Robbie and I have been going
together for about a month now.

He's such a nice boy.

You have a very nice family, nice house, everything.

I knew Robbie was different from the very first date.

I just...

Dawn, why don't you tell me what's on your mind?

I want you to keep Robbie away from here.

He's a wonderful boy, and it'd be just
fine if he'd stay that way.

But it's too easy to lose your point of
view in a place like this.

First thing you know, the freaks start looking
good to you, and then you've really lost your way.

And I wouldn't want that to happen to Robbie.

You know something, Dawn?

Robbie's awfully smart about the girls he likes.

He, uh...

Always seems to pick the right ones.

Thank you, Mr. Douglas.

Thank you, Dawn.

Hi, Pete.

Hi, Dawn.

Hi.

How was the dinner show?

Okay.

Oh, good.

I thought in between shows you'd like to
go out and grab a sandwich.

Robbie Douglas, meet Danny Daniels.

Hello, kid.

It was nice of you to hand Don a few
laughs until I got back.

Well, don't you get the message, kid?

I'm back.

I guess I better be going.

See you around, kid.

Yeah, see you around.

Goodbye, Don.

Bye, Robbie.

Thanks.

Anytime.

You know, maybe I'll turn in the drums and take up acting.

You were very convincing.

Oh, hi, Charley.

Well, what happened?

How much did she want?

She didn't want anything, Charley.

Where's Robbie?

Oh, he tore over to the club between shows.

And if you ask me, he'll be coming in with
the milk bottles again.

What are you doing here?

I just finished telling your dad you'd be out all night.

Yeah, well, the lady had another date.

She had another date, huh?

Miss O'Day seems to be the private
property of some fellow with a pushed-in

face who thought I was a kid and I felt like one.

Oh, well, what's the difference?

Dad, I may be dumb about women,
but I thought you could size them up.

Nice girl, you said.

Real sweet.

From now on, I think I'll do my own picking.

His own picking?

And who does he think came up with that
gold-digging little package?

You?

He could have done worse, Charlie.

He could have done worse?

Kicking around the stage with a bunch of balloons, leading
him on and then giving him the cold shoulder for some...

Hey, what about that note?

And the talk she wanted?

Oh, so you paid her off, huh?

Was that it?

Sure.

So she throws Rob over.

Boy, she's a real honey.

She is.

That's right, Charley.

She's a real honey.

Well, what are we going to do?

Stick around.

I'd be glad to.

There's another episode of My Three Sons
straight ahead on TV Land's Twice as Nice Morning.

My Three Sons.