06x32 - London Memories

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Steve, come on, you'll miss your plane.

I'll be right down, Charlie.

How long will you be in Washington, Dad?

I'm not sure, Rob, maybe a week.

I guess it depends on how long it takes
you to straighten him out back there.

That's about it.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

While I'm away, Uncle Charley's the boss.

Just try to cooperate with him, huh?

How about Uncle Charley cooperating with us?

Yeah, he acts like this is the ship and we're the sailors.

And he's Captain Blind.

Okay, you swabs.

We're shoving off to take your dad to port.

Airport, that is.

Come on, you landlubbers.

You see what I mean?

Remember, no mutinies.

Hi, Douglas.

Hi, Parmenter.

Why don't you back out first, Douglas?

It'll take you longer to get it started.

Oh, that's okay.

You go right ahead.

I'm in no rush.

Hi, Linda June.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Linda.

Say, Linda June, how about a ride home with me?

Listen, Douglas.

Get lost.

Linda June's riding home with me.

Aren't you?

Well, why travel tourists when you can go first class?

Uh, say, Linda June, do you remember
saying that you wanted to drive my car sometime?

Yes.

Well, uh, how about now?

You mean it?

Sure.

I promised my dad nobody drives my car but me.

Why be the passenger when you can be the pilot?

Thanks anyway, Brad.

No, I'll show you.

It won't be any problem at all.

Oh, it's awfully sweet of you to let me drive, Robbie.

I know how boys feel about anyone else driving their cars.

Well, I wouldn't let just anybody drive her.

I've got confidence in you.

Thank you.

I let you down.

I'm sorry, Robbie.

That light sure changed from green to red in a hurry.

Why couldn't he have been nice and just
given me a warning like some of the others did?

The others?

Well, nobody's perfect.

You're the most understanding person.

Well, I don't know.

It could have happened to anybody.

And it did.

Oh, my dad will be furious.

He'll probably ground me for a month.

He wouldn't ground the queen at the spring revels.

Oh, yes, he would.

He has absolutely no respect for royalty.

Linda June, I'll take care of it.

But, Robbie, that's my third ticket this month.

It'll cost a fortune, maybe even as much as $16.

It's okay.

Your father must be very understanding, too.

Well, it sort of runs in the family.

I'll never forget how kind and generous you were.

Uh, if you don't mind, Leonard June, I'll...

I'll drive.

Hey, Chip, want to play a little catch
with Lionel and Stubby and me?

I'm busy.

Don't look busy.

It's somebody your own size.

I can't be seeing the street playing catch
with a bunch of little kids.

Uncle Charley, I can't wear these pants.

These juvenile delinquents, there's something.

Nowadays, a grown-up crook ain't got a
chance to make the front.

Why can't you wear the pants?

Well, just look at them.

Well, I don't see any holes.

They didn't shrink.

Of course they didn't shrink.

I know how to wash clothes without shrinking them.

My sweatshirt shrank.

You grew.

Ah, these kids are running wild.

I wanted these pants to shrink.

They're miles too long.

That's hard to say.

My sweatshirt shrank.

They look fine to me.

Nobody wears their pants this long.

I do.

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter to you what people think.

My short-sleeved sweatshirt shrank.

Everybody looks at me like I'm some sort of a
weirdo wearing my pants way down around my ankles.

You've always worn your pants that length.

Well, I finally wised up.

From now on, can I at least go with you to buy my clothes?

Who's stopping you?

I only been shopping for you because you
didn't want to be bothered.

A guy changes.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

My short-sleeved sweatshirt shrank.

My short-sleeved sweatshirt shrank.

He's not a little kid anymore.

He's a big clunky kid.

Hi, Uncle Charley.

I don't know what kids are coming to.

Think when I was growing up, anybody heard me
complaining because my pants were too long or too short?

I was glad if I had any pants at all, right?

Right.

But with you kids nowadays, you get anything
you ask for, so you don't appreciate any of it.

Well, personally, I think I'm a pretty lucky guy, mostly.

Fancy clothes, fancy haircuts, fancy cars.

I wore hand-me-downs.

My mother put a bowl on my head and she trimmed my hair.

When I wanted to get someplace, I walked.

Well, you know, there's really been a lot of progress.

Progress?

I got another name for it.

When I did something wrong, I expected to
be punished, and I was.

So I had respect for authority.

Uncle Charley.

Nowadays, you kids think you can talk your
way out of anything, and you generally do.

I ran into a little bad luck coming home from school.

Nothing wrong with teenagers that a little
old-fashioned discipline wouldn't cure.

You do something you shouldn't, you take the consequences.

What kind of bad luck?

No, we can talk about it later.

What happened?

Uncle Charley, I have to have $16.

$16?

You see, there's a girl, Linda June
Mitchell, and she was elected queen of the

spring revels, and, well, I was sort of
hoping she'd pick me to be her escort.

And you need $16 to bribe her?

She seems to like me okay, but Brad
Parmenter has a new sports car,

and to get her to ride home with me, I let
her drive my car, and she ran a stoplight.

Who did you hit?

We didn't hit anybody, but this policeman gave her a
ticket, and I didn't know she had all those other citations.

It sounds like you picked the winner.

Well, if her dad grounds her, she won't be
able to be queen of the spring revels,

and so, uh, well, I told her not to worry, but dad's in
Washington, so do you suppose you could loan me the $16?

And that's the end of it?

Well, I know it's a lot of money, but I'd pay it back.

It's not the money I'm worrying about.

A man with a car's got a responsibility.

I've never had a citation.

So you hand over the keys to any dumb dory
you want to impress.

Suppose you had to hit another car.

Suppose Queen what's-her-name, uh, had been harassed.

Or you.

I'm sorry, Uncle Charley.

Next time, I... There ain't gonna be any next time.

At least for a week.

A week?

Yeah, we'll pay the fine, but you're not
gonna take your car out of the garage for a week.

Uncle Charley.

Man, you're not gonna drive any other car,
nor nobody's gonna drive yours.

A week?

What'll I do?

I mean, I'll be stranded.

How can I get to school, see my friends, have dates?

There are buses.

Uncle Charley, nobody rides buses.

And you'll have plenty of room.

Or you can walk.

Walk?

Uncle Charley, punish me another way.

I'll do the dishes for a week.

A month.

I'll take the trash out without ever being reminded.

Take away my desserts.

Put a curfew on me.

Anything, but please don't take away my wheels.

You'll get by.

But suppose somebody sees me riding a bus.

Or walking.

A week without a car will do you a lot of good.

But what about Linda June?

Okay, okay, that finishes me.

I'm a parmenter in a sports car and me riding a bus.

I'm doing what I think is best for you.

Okay, okay, I'll serve my sentence even
though it's going to destroy me.

Hi, Robbie.

Hi, Linda June.

I didn't see you drive your car in this morning.

Did you park someplace else?

Oh, well, as a matter of fact,
you see, my dad had to go to Washington.

And he took your car?

No, no, he flew.

But, well, he left my Uncle Charlie.

Now, Uncle Charlie's a great guy, but he's from my
mother's side of the family, and he's not so understanding.

Besides, he thinks he knows what's wrong with teenagers.

He sounds just like my father.

He says the whole trouble is they don't
build houses with wood sheds anymore.

Oh, how'd we get on this subject anyway?

Well, I was telling you about my Uncle Charlie and the car.

Oh, would you mind telling me on the way, because
I have a four O'clock fitting for my coronation gown.

Well, as a matter of fact, Linda... Don't worry, Robbie.

I'll let you drive your car.

Well, no, the thing is... Well,
my car is sort of tied up right now.

Where's the old coffee grinder, Douglas?

Hello, Brad.

Robbie's car runs beautifully.

I know, I drove it.

Are you going home with him again today?

Linda June, my car is not here, but I was just
wondering if... Oh, dear, well, I have to be home by 3.30.

No problem.

Oh.

I'm sorry, Robbie.

See you tomorrow.

Once you fly, you'll never be satisfied to crawl again.

Hey, Rob, pencils.

Hey, Dad.

Oh, hi, Rob.

Boy, welcome home.

Am I glad to see you.

Well, thanks.

Good to be home.

Did, uh, did Uncle Charley tell you what happened?

Ah, he told me.

Told me you let a girl drive your car and
she got a ticket and he grouted you for a week.

Yeah, I goofed and, well, when you goof,
you pay for it, but, well, hasn't Uncle

Charley ever heard of the Eighth Amendment?

You know, excessive bail shall not be
required, nor excessive fines imposed,

nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Now, boy, you talk about cruel and talk about unusual.

Rob, you're not pleading a case before the
Supreme Court, you know.

Aren't you going to help me out on this?

I can't reverse, Charley, can I?

I mean, when I'm not here, Charley has the final authority.

Give me the rock or the iron maiden anyhow, Tay, Dad.

It's only for a week.

I know, but Linda June won't ask me to be
her escort to the spring revels.

Well, she's already practically forgotten who I am.

Sounds like Linda June could use a memory course.

Dad, this guy Brad takes her everywhere.

He drives her to school, then they go to a
drive-in for lunch, and then he takes her home.

Well, by Monday, when I'm back on wheels,
it'll be too late.

Zoom, Zoom Wilkerson.

What, Dad?

Old Zoom, Zoom Wilkerson.

Excuse me.

He had a big second-hand Stutz Bearcat.

Man, what a car that was.

Anyway, old Zoom, Zoom and I were rushing the same girl.

Well, what were you driving, Dad?

Oh, I didn't have a car.

No car at all?

No wheels?

No, no.

But I gave old Zoom, Zoom some competition just the same.

How?

I mean, if it worked for you, maybe it'll work for me.

Well, it might be worth a try.

How does a guy with no wheels compete with
a flashy sports car?

Well, all you have to do is convince yourself
that not having wheels isn't the end of the world.

And then once you've convinced yourself of
that, all you have to do is convince Linda June, see?

Hi, Linda June.

Hi, Robbie.

Where have you been hiding?

I haven't seen you for days.

I missed you.

Well, I've sort of been tied up.

May I take you home today?

I'd like that.

Where's your car?

Hi, little June.

Hi, Parminder.

You ready?

Robbie's going to drive me home.

I'm going to take you home.

Where's your car?

I don't have it.

Well, how are you taking me home?

Well, I thought maybe we could walk.

Bobby, come on and stop teasing me.

Where's your car?

It's in the garage.

Well, then you're really serious about walking?

Come on, little Jew.

It sure is a nice day for walking.

I haven't walked home from school since the seventh grade.

Besides, my house is blocks and blocks from here.

It must be nearly a mile.

Who wants to walk when you can ride?

And yet, you know, it used to be sort of
fun walking home from grade school.

Yeah, let's try it.

All right.

I'll carry your books.

Deal.

So long, Brad.

Thank you.

Bye, Farmer.

What will this coup come up with next?

Oh, hi, Brad.

Oh, gee, Brad, you don't know what you missed.

Oh, really?

Oh, it was great, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Took you long enough.

Oh, well, didn't say that.

Didn't seem long at all.

Rob, do you want to come in for a minute?

Oh, sure.

Bye, Brad.

Linda, Linda.

Oh, hi, Brad.

I'm parked outside.

Why don't we go to the drive-in for lunch?

Well, I... Oh, come on now.

We'll be ahead of the crowd.

I sort of promised to have lunch.

I'm going to have lunch with Robbie.

Oh, is he going to walk you to the drive-in?

Hi.

You ready for lunch?

Yes.

Okay.

This is our table.

Aw, thank you.

Oh, Robbie, I simply love picnics.

Now, for lunch, Uncle Charley's famous
fried chicken, some potato chips,

homemade apple pie, and to drink, iced tea.

And tomorrow I'll bring my mother's famous tuna salad.

Okay.



What are you laughing at?

I wasn't doing anything.

Uncle Charley?

Boy, a guy can't even have a little
privacy in his own house.

Uncle Charley!

What's the matter now?

You sore because something else didn't shrink?

He keeps looking at me.

Well, since when is that a crime?

Well, how would you like to have somebody
watching you laughing?

And when he's not laughing, he's about to.

Like now.

Someday I'm going to have a whole house of my own.

Never let anybody else in.

Come here.

Let me in on the big joke.

I'd just like to watch Chip when he's combing his hair.

You must be hard up for entertainment.

You should see him.

He's been in front of the mirror ever since dinner.

Yeah?

He combs it up, he combs it down,
he combs it forward, he combs it back,

squeezes on some more grease.

And then takes another comb and starts all over again.

What gets me is, he looks so serious all
the time, like it's a matter of life or death.

Come on, now, now, now, you stay down here.

Oh, Uncle Charley.

Go on in there and look at television.

He's funnier in television.

Come on, come on, come on, scram, get in, go on.

Ernie, you been using my air wax?

Just a little, for my skateboard.

Oh, Linda Jones.

Oh, hi.

How would you like to see the new
Dawes-Hanafee picture with me tonight?

Oh, I didn't even know it was in town.

It isn't.

It's in Kirbyville at that flashy new drive-in theater.

We can drive there in less than an hour.

Oh, Dawes-Hanafee.

Oh, well, oh, but I can't go tonight.

But the program changes tomorrow.

Well, Robbie's coming over.

Oh, are you going to play dominoes or have
a walking race around the block?

I don't know.

Well, just keep in mind that the last screening is at 1025.

With Dawes Hennepy on my side, how can I lose?

Charlie, I was just reading something interesting here.

Something some fella said about teenagers.

Yeah?

What have they done now?

Ernie said, uh, young people today scoff
at authority and applaud anarchy.

They take no pride in accomplishment,
but they praise the one among them who

avoids work instead of the one who does a job well.

Go on.

They laugh at the virtues on which our fathers built a
nation and glorify only the loud, the lazy, the incompetent.

That's the truth, especially the loud.

Unless these young people can be awakened
to their responsibilities, what hope is

there for our country, our civilization, the human race?

Now, there's a guy that knows what he's talking about.

He's got these kids today pinned down to a T.

You think so, huh?

Yeah.

Him and me see things exactly the same way.

Well, you're in pretty fast company, Charlie.

That was written by Socrates, the Greek philosopher.

And it was written about teenagers in
Athens 2,500 years ago.

No kidding.



That's right.

So I guess some of those ancient Greek
teenagers must have snapped out of it, huh?

Yeah.

Sort of makes you stop and think.

I mean, looking at all those stars.

Ursa Major.

What a beautiful name.

Yeah.

And what about Cassiopeia?

And the Betelgeuse in Orion.

Speaking about stars, who needs Dawes Haniffy?

Yeah, this is for free.

And it's right in your own backyard.

You know, no matter where you look,
there's something new and exciting.

Yeah, if you just take the time to look.

You know, Robbie, well, I've always
thought you were very, very nice.

Well, pretty much like everybody else,
sort of immature and adolescent.

Well, you know, I, uh...

I felt the same way about you.

Well, in the last few days, I've...

Well, I've been able to see how different you are.

What you're really like.

Maybe we've changed a little bit.

Isn't it great that it happened to both of
us at the same time?

Hey, Dad.

Hi, Mr. Mitchell.

Hi, Ron.

Dad, we did it.

Well, good.

We did what?

Well, Linda June and I, we're a thing, and
I'm going to be your escort to the spring revels.

Oh, congratulations.

Thanks.

Uncle Charley, I wouldn't want it as a steady diet, but
going without wheels for a week really did me a lot of good.

Me and Socrates, we got the answers.

I was just reading, Mr. Charley.

Oh, I guess people are pretty much the same.

I mean, what worked for you and your girl
worked for me and Linda June.

Oh, it didn't work for me, Ron.

She finally married old Zoom Zoom Wilkerson
and his big second-hand stud spare cap.

What?

What did he say?

He said he was going upstairs to study.

Oh, good.

Boy, the things these wild teenagers go in for nowadays.

Here we go again.

Yeah, and the chip's just starting.