07x22 - The Best Man

[bunniefuu]

Oh, Dad, you busy?

Well, yeah, sort of, Chip.

I've got a half hour to get dressed and drive
out to Oakland and pick up my dinner date.

Well, this will only take a minute.

Chip, your minutes have a way of turning into hours.

Now, where is that other cuff link?

This ought to be real simple for you.

I've got one, but I can't find the other one.

Being an engineer, you ought to be able to
fix an electric guitar in no time.

Will you, Dad?

Oh, okay, Chip.

Uh, what seems to be wrong with it?

Well, when you plug it into the wall...
Well, let's, uh, let's just plug it into the wall.

Well, wait, Dad, I, I...

Oh, you got a shock.

That's what I wanted to tell you.

It's a short end.

Sorry, Dad.

Well, it's all right.

It's my fault.

I should have bought you a trumpet.

Chip, I think I'd better work on this tomorrow, huh?

Okay.

Don't plug it in again.

Where's that other cuff link?

Huh?

Maybe it's on the floor someplace.

I don't see how I could have dropped it, but maybe I did.

Let's look around.

If I did, it'd probably roll under the bed, huh?

If you're looking for me, I don't hide anymore.

I'm older.

We're looking for a couple.

Aaron, you haven't seen the mate in this one, have you?

No.

He looks like he'll just have to wear one of them.

I don't think that's going to work.

Now, come on, help me look for it.

Steve, I've got to talk to you about this
bill for the washing machine.

Trouble?

Yeah, it went haywire.

Well, Charlie, I can't talk to you about it now.

Say, you didn't pick up a couplet like
that in your vacuum cleaner or anything?

I mean, I've got one and I can't find the other.

Well, it could be you forgot to take it out of your shirt.

Charlie, if I took one, God, I would have
taken the other one out, wouldn't I?

If you had, it wouldn't cost you $15 to
fix the washing machine.

Look what got jammed in the link, Captain.

Oh, never mind, fellas.

Here it is.

What's left of it.

You want a bar of heroin, mind you?

Oh, no, thanks.

I've got some other ones here.

That?

Oh, Rob, I'm kind of in a hurry.

Is it important?

Well, I think it is.

I'm going to ask her tomorrow.

You're going to ask her what?

Denise Dubois, to marry me.

Oh?

You've met her, Dad.

She's that exchange student I've been dating.

Well, this is kind of sudden, isn't it?

I mean, I've never heard you mention Denise,
at least in the same breath, with marriage.

Well, it's been building, Dad.

I just decided today.

Oh.

Well, Denise seems like a very nice girl.

Oh, yeah.

We'll finish school, Dad.

I'm sure Denise would want that.

Dad, there are a lot of married couples in college.

Yes, I know that.

And I'm sure you're aware of the problems.

It's not going to be easy.

Oh, Dad, we'll make it.

You've got a date tonight, huh?

Yes, I'm taking Helen Austin out to dinner.

But I think I'll call and tell her I'll be a little late.

I'd like to discuss this marriage thing
with you a little more.

Oh, no, Dad, you go ahead.

We can talk about it later when you get home.

I'm not going to pop the question until tomorrow.

Oh.

Okay, I'll be home early.

Yeah.

Dad.

Say, Dad, you've taken Miss Austin out now
for the fourth time.

Where?

Is it serious?

No, no problem.

One serious in the family is enough.

Denise?

Hi, Robbie.

Denise, I've got a very important question
I want to ask you.

Important?

Yeah.

What are you doing for lunch today?

That is important.

I'm having it with you.

Oh, great.

On the wall?

Yes, good.

Okay, and I'm buying.

Fine.

Very good.

I'll see you there.

Bye.

Bye.

Oh, Denise, around 1230?

Good.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, that's all the time we'll have for class today.

Be prepared to resume on the same set of
problems for tomorrow.

Say, Tom, I talked to my dad about that job for you.

Oh, thanks, Rob.

I had a call from his office.

I'm meeting him this afternoon.

Hey, you get pretty fast service.

Well, what are friends for?

I can't understand why you want to give up teaching.

Well, I'm not going to.

I'll be sort of moonlighting.

I need a part-time job to pick up some extra money.

Denise, you're the only girl who I really ever...

I'm sorry I'm so late, but there was a
cable from my grandmother in Bordeaux.

She raised me from a little girl.

Well, I hope nothing was wrong.

Oh, no.

She's very happy.

Everything is wonderful.

You would like my grandmother?

I'm sure I will.

No, she can't travel to America.

She's too old, but she would love to very much.

Well, why don't we sit down?

Here's your lunch.

Denise, let's talk first and then eat later.

Do you mind?

Oh, no.

Just as you say.

I'm so excited inside.

Me too.

When a girl is asked to be married,
how can she think about food?

You knew?

Yes, of course I knew.

A woman knows about such things.

But last night when it really happened.

Last night?

When Tom asked me to be his wife.

Tom?

And I said yes.

Oh, as in the American expression,
I was hit between the eyes.

I know the feeling.

Well, George, I'm not asking you to do me a favor.

I'm asking you to do a favor for Chalmers
Engineering Company.

This is one of the brightest young men
I've met in a long time.

Now, now, wait a minute.

I'll ask him.

Can you meet Mr. Chalmers at 5 O'clock?

You bet I can.

You bet he can, George.

Fine.

And thanks.

So long.

Well, that's that.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Douglas.

I sure hope I get the job.

I have a hunch you will, Tom.

I appreciate this.

You know, I appreciate what you've done for Rob.

Until you came along, he thought a man... That
classroom was some kind of a t*rture chamber.

When I was a sophomore, I felt the same way.

You know something I did, too?

Will you let me know what comes out now?

Oh, you'll be the first to know.

I mean the second.

At first, I have to tell the future Mrs. Hayden.

You're getting married, huh?

If I get the job.

Otherwise, Denise and I will have to wait.

Did you say Denise?

Dubois.

Denise Dubois.

She was at your Christmas party.

Oh, yes.

Wonderful girl.

Yeah, yeah, so Robby said.

Well, I guess I'd better be going.

Thanks for everything, Mr. Douglas.

Well, uh, glad to help.

Maybe.

Hey, Rob, before dinner, can you help me
with this math problem?

Forget math.

It'll just lead you to trouble.

I'll be in trouble if you don't help me.

Chip, you'll just have to work this out by yourself.

But I can.

And besides, you're so good in math since
you've been studying with Mr. Hayden.

I'm thinking of dropping the course.

Hey, Rob, want to hear something funny?

Not especially.

You know, Ginger across the street,
the last week I wrecked her skateboard,

and she said, I never want to see you again.

Well, you're lucky.

Then how come she invites me to her birthday party?

What's with women, anyway?

When you find out, let me know.

Hey, Robbie, do me a favor.

Take over the potato department while I
get the pot roast ready.

I can't, Uncle Charley.

I'm busy.

Doing what?

I'm going to take a walk around the block.

Take these with you.

You'll have something to do.

Uncle Charley, I'm just not in the mood for kidding.

Who's kidding?

Oh, hi, Charley.

Hiya, Steve.

Charley, uh... I know, I know.

You won't be having dinner here tonight.

You got a date with a beautiful blonde.

Well, let me tell you something.

You'll be missing a gorgeous hunk of pot roast.

I'll be here.

I just want to know if Robbie's...
Oh, he took a walk around the block.

He's got problems, Charley.

So have I.

I'm experimenting with sweet and sour pot roast.

What happened to your walk around the block?

I changed my mind.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Rob.

Rob?

Is there, uh... anything you'd like to talk to me about?

I don't think so.

You sure?

Sure, I'm sure.

Well, why?

Well, I just thought maybe you'd like to
talk about Tom and, uh, Denise.

You heard him?

Yes, Tom told me today at the office.

How about that guy?

And I thought he was my best friend.

He still is, Rob.

He's very fond of you.

Yeah, Denise is just wild about me, too.

That's why she's marrying Tom.

Well, there's not much I can say
except, uh... Well, these things happen.

Yeah, not like they happen to me, Dad.

Well, at least one thing.

I didn't make a fool of myself by proposing.

What did Tom tell you about it?

He never did.

I had to find out from the girl I was gonna marry.

It's pretty rough.

Yeah, you're telling me.

Well, that's one wedding I'm going to ignore.

Here we are.

The happy couple.

You're married already?

Not quite.

Show them the engagement ring, honey.

It's the most beautiful engagement ring in the whole world.

It's very nice.

Hi, Mr. Douglas.

Oh, hello, Tom.

You remember Denise?

Yes, of course.

Would you like to see my ring?

It's beautiful.

Well, we just dropped by to tell you I got
the job and to show you the ring.

Well, I'm glad you did, Tom.

We'd better go, honey.

We'll miss that call we put in your grandmother.

Oh, is your grandmother coming to the wedding?

Oh, no, I'm afraid not, Robbie.

But the whole Douglas family is.

It wouldn't be a wedding without them.

Oh, and Rob, naturally, you're going to be the best man.

Good night.

Thanks again, Mr. Douglas.

Good night.

Best man.

That's what he thinks.

You're going to turn him down, huh?

Well, why shouldn't I?

Let him find himself another best man.

He found my best girl.

I got to take a walk around the block.

I'll do it.

Good, Rob.

Sometimes a man has to put his pride in his pocket.

There's no way I could turn him down without
everyone realizing what a big goof I was about her.

What happened to the walk around the block?

I'll settle for a good cry upstairs.

You want.

To play some checkers?

Oh, I'm sorry, Ernie, but I've just got to
get these bills paid.

Why don't you ask Chip, huh?

Hey, Chip, you want to play checkers?

I'm studying.

That's Uncle Charley.

Hey, Uncle Charley, you want to play a game of checkers?

Can't.

I'm cleaning the silver.

I might as well be living in outer space.

Besides, I like the wind once in a while.

You know what you want?

A checker hustler.

Bryant Park Fats.

Wonder who that is.

Whoever it is.

Hope he plays checkers.

Ah, good evening.

Hi, is Robbie in?

He's at the library.

He got tired of walking around the block.

Come on in, sit down.

Mr. Douglas.

Hi, Tom.

They're getting married any minute now.

Did you get the license, Tom?

We picked it up this afternoon.

Have you set the date yet?

Next Saturday.

Next Saturday, 10 O'clock, Judge O'Malley's chambers.

Oh, wonderful.

And you're all invited.

We'll be there, but I wish it was another judge.

That sourpuss O'Malley fined me 10 bucks
for being a litterbug.

All I did was tear up a parking ticket and
throw it in the gutter.

I will admit, the judge's office is not very romantic.

If we were in France, we would be married
at the home of my grandmother.

Why don't you have the wedding here, at our house?

Hey, yeah, we could have the reception here and everything.

Come on, hold it.

Who's going to cook and clean up?

With a wedding, you have everything catered.

How about it, Dad?

Well, it sounds like a good idea, Chip.

Only...

But it would be a terrible inconvenience.

We wouldn't think of imposing.

Who's imposing?

Like Ernie said, we have everything catered in.

We wouldn't have it any other way,
and neither would Robbie.

Would we, Steve?

Oh, right, Charlie, except, well, maybe they'd
rather be married in some place more private.

Well, this is private.

It's a private residence.

Yes, I guess you're right there, Ernie.

Well, fine, we'd love to have the wedding here.

Denise, after all, Robbie's my best friend.

Then we will.

Oh, you are wonderful people.

And you, Mr. Douglas, you will give the bride away.

Oui.

Oui.

Thanks, Mr. Douglas.

We'll never forget you for this.

Never, never.

Honey, we'd better be going.

Actually, I just came by to tell Rob when and where
we were getting married, but things have changed a little.

Yes, well, we'll fill him in on it, Tom.

Thanks again, Mr. Douglas.

You're perfectly welcome.

Goodbye, all of you.

And thank you.

Thank you again.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Ernie.

Chip.

Best of everything to you.

Good night.

Goodbye.

A wedding right here in our house.

That ought to be fun.

I bet Rob will be surprised.

I'm sure he will.

As long as I thought of this whole idea, I
guess I can invite someone to the wedding, huh?

Sure, you can ask Ginger from across the street.

Not her.

She'll start getting ideas.

I was thinking of my gym teacher, Mr. Mergler.

Oh, come on.

Upstairs to bed, you woman-hater.

I'm not really.

I just play it cool.

Uh, who was that that just drove off, Dad?

Oh, that was, uh, Tom and Denise.

Oh, what do they want now?

Blood?

They came by to tell you the, uh, wedding is next Saturday.

Oh, so it's next Saturday, huh?

Uh, where?

Here.

Well, Dad, I know they're not going to France.

Where here?

Here, here.

In our house?

I'm afraid so.

Well, how did that happen?

Well, Ernie suggested it, and the others
thought it was a great idea, and,

uh, well, there was just no way I could say no.

Well, fine.

That's just fine.

The next thing you're going to be telling me is
that you've been asked to give the bride away.

Now, uh, I don't have to tell you.

Boy, I've got to take a walk around the block.

Hi, Mr. Thomas.

Mr. David.

See you, sir, in there.

Hi.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, come on.

You better get your coat on.

Boy, I wish I could.

I wish it was over.

It'll be over pretty quick, Rob, and then
they'll be on their way to Snow Valley.

Some consolation.

In a little while, she'll be Mrs. Tom
Hayden, married to my ex-best friend.

I know how you feel.

Just make sure you don't let anybody else know, hmm?

Ah, don't worry, Dad.

Well, Judge O'Malley's here.

Let's get the show on the rock.

Come on, Robbie.

In a minute, Dad.

What do you think you're doing?

Oh, just admiring the cake.

Well, admire it with your eyes, not your fingers.

Denise, you look lovely.

You're going to be the prettiest bride.

All right, and so?

Thank you.

We're coming.

We're ready.

Denise, I've got to talk to you.

Robbie.

Robbie, you shouldn't be here.

Out.

You should be downstairs with Tom.

Out, out.

This is important.

What is this about, Robbie?

It's about us.

Us?

Well, you and me and my best pal, Tom.

Sit down, Denise.

Denise, do you remember the day that you
told me he asked you?

Yes.

Yes, on the mall at lunch.

Yeah.

Well, there was something that I was going
to ask you that day, too.

In fact, the same thing.

To marry me.

You don't have to look so surprised.

But, Robbie, I am surprised.

I'm astonished.

Denise, this is very important now,
and I've just got to know.

If I had asked you first, would you have said yes to me?

Oh, Robbie, I only wish I could say I would have.

You are my very good friend, Robbie.

You will always be.

But you don't love me.

Yes, I love you.

But only the way one loves a brother.

Oh, I don't mean to hurt you by saying this.

Hurt me?

Denise, you couldn't have said anything
that would make me feel better.

Tom didn't do me a dirty trick.

A good guy like Tom just couldn't have.

Come on, let's not keep him waiting.

And now, by the solemn powers vested in me
by the laws of this glorious state, ring, please.

Have you got the ring?

Oh, yeah.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Congratulations, old buddy.

Thank you, brother.

Now for the reception, folks.

Right this way.

Ernie, what do you think you're doing?

The bride is supposed to cut the cake.

Oh, good.

Then I can have a piece with her, too.

All right.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

I love you.

My Three Sons is twice as nice when you see it twice.

So stay tuned for more middle-class suburban
hijinks on another episode of My Three Sons.

Next, only in TV Land.