08x14 - Leaving the Nest

[bunniefuu]

One, two, three.

If those revolting musicians can bust the
glass, what's happening to my eardrums?

They're downright dangerous.

Now I can see why the walls at Jericho fell down.

They were using guitars and amplifiers.

I think we blew a fuse.

It's Uncle Charley.

He pulled the main switch that cuts off our amplifiers.

It's his way of telling us rehearsal's over.

But can't we practice at your house?

Well, no.

My mom's gonna have a baby, and my dad
doesn't want it born scary.

Tom?

I don't know.

My neighbors all signed a petition saying
we're destroying their domestic tranquility.

If his music was loud, but good,
or even soft and miserable.

But he's mastered the art of being very bad and louder
than ten big Bertha cannons going off at the same time.

Not Uncle Charley.

Why can't I be in Chip's group?

I couldn't hurt it, Annie.

And what'll you play, a 12-Gauge shotgun?

You know, I get it, except I know it's for
one of you fellas.

Hello?

Collect?

Dad, it's for you.

Well, well, you know, it shows you a father can't be wrong.

Hello?

Yes, I'll accept the jacket.

Well, hi, Rob.

How's the Army Reserve?

Great.

Katie staying at a hotel near the base?

Oh, that's fine.

I'm really getting into shape, Dad.

One week and the flab is firm.

I haven't seen much of Katie, though,
and I really miss the family.

Well, you only have one more week, Rob, and
you know you're lucky to be seeing Katie at all.

How's the money holding out?

Oh, not too much new here.

Chip's band is rehearsing for some sort of contest.

He's going to try to win a trophy.

Are you doing all this plaster cracking
just to win the trophy?

Sure, it's a big one.

Don't grade my name on it.

Okay, Rob, we'll see you when you get back, then.

Give our love to Katie, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that.

Goodbye.

Well, Rob.

He says hi to you guys.

Ian, Katie, you're making the best of it as long
as he has to do his Army Reserve training now.

It's about three feet high.

Sort of bronze color.

What is?

The cup I win.

Chip, where is this contest taking place?

At Anderson's Porch.

They have a fight of the bands contest
there every Saturday night.

Your band's got plenty of fight.

It'll mow anything down.

You know about Anderson's Porch, Dad?

Yeah, I think so.

It's where I go all the time.

Big hamburgers are a quarter.

Rue beers are only 15 cents.

Whole evening.

Only cost me about a buck.

Sounds like the worst days of the Depression.

No, I'll get you.

If I was wrong before, it could be for me.

I think they got a direct line from this
table to the phone call me.

Every time I pick up a spoon, it rings.

Hello?

Well, he's having dinner right now.

All right.

Cheers for you.

It's Barbara next door, and she said she wouldn't bother
you except something absolutely divine is about to happen.

Hello?

Sure, we got to have a name.

Listen, did you ever hear of a good group without one?

My dad calls us the Ear Splitters.

Angry Ear Splitters.

I was thinking, maybe the electric
conveyors would sound good.

Our troubles are over.

Old lady luck came through.

We're going to win that trophy.

Man, the way we've been sounding?

It's a guy, an English kid, and he's coming all the way
from England to visit right next door with the Darings.

Barbara just called me.

Man, a guy from... Oh, hey, that's great.

Three more.

Three more root beers.

On me.

Come here, you guys.

I don't want everyone to know.

His name is Paul.

I'm Paul Drayton.

Man, he's from Liverpool.

From Liverpool?

Hey, that's great.

What's he play?

He...

Well, I don't know yet.

What's the difference?

You don't know what he plays?

Well, he's English, and he's from Liverpool.

What more do you want?

Sure, he's English, and he's from Liverpool.

What more do you want?

What?

That thing isn't going to last much longer.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm getting new leg muscles just
from pushing it so much.

They call it a collector's item.

You can't even buy parts for it.

Well, I'd like to work on it, but the trophy comes first.

Thanks.

You didn't have to begin, Ernie, man.

Well, I still say he may not be able to play anything.

Well, you quit saying that, Ernie.

He's from Liverpool.

He's got to play great.

Sure.

Hey, here they are now.

Are you guys ready?

Well, here we are.

Oh, it's lovely.

Oh, thank you very much.

I'm sorry it took us so long to get here, but
you know, with our freeway jam ups and stuff.

Oh, don't worry about that.

You know, big car, air conditioning.

We have traffic jams in England, too, you know.

It wasn't that sweet.

A musical welcome to America.

That's our neighbor, Chip Douglas, and his trio.

I must say, the lads took me unawares.

I think they're trying to make me homesick.

I've never had an experience quite comparable to this.

Listen, Barbara, Uncle Charley's prepared some
refreshments, and why don't you take Paul over there now?

We can unload the car later.

Okay.

Come on.

Oh, yeah, thank you.

Man, dig those boots.

Man, the hair.

Was I right or wasn't I?

Well, I don't see him playing anything.

Hey, everybody's scattered and look casual.

For real.

He's divine.

He looks just like one of the creatures.

Okay, you guys, be tuned in now.

Remember, act casual.

Hi, Chip.

Everybody, this is Paul Drayton.

Hi, Paul, how do you do?

Hello, I'm Chip Douglas, my brother Ernie.

Hi.

Hello.

Hey, that music was fantastic.

I could not be down with the fellow.

I was so surprised.

Hello, who's this?

Mimi.

Mimi, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Enjoy your time.

They're very pristine, aren't they?

We are jolly well happy to have you visiting.

I hope you enjoy America and all that sort of thing.

Well, I must say, I've never had such a smashing welcome.

Will you be playing again soon?

Oh, sure.

Of course, my group is newly organized.

We're thinking about adding another man.

I'm sure there's lots of talented blokes
who'd consider it an honor to join.

Your organization?

You play anything?

I've studied the guitar a bit, but I'm hardly qualified.

The guitar?

No kidding.

Did you bring it with you?

Yeah.

Hey, everybody, listen.

While I'm to be a guitar man, how's it
like to hear him play a couple of tunes?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, that would be fantastic.

I'll fetch it from the car.

Boy, is that your axe?

It's pretty big.

Where does it plug in?

It doesn't require amplification.

Boy, it must be pretty loud.

Yeah, it does have quite a bit of resonance, I must say.

Oh, sure.

Vandals are loud without being plugged into anything.

Got anything to say now, Ernie?

Uh-uh.

You go ahead and play, Paul.

We'll pick up a couple of bars in.

All right, sir.

All right.

I got something to say now.

Chip.

Uh, I ran into Barbara's mother, and, uh,
she was wondering what had happened.

About what?

Well, maybe it was her imagination, but, uh, she was
wondering what had gone wrong between you and Paul.

I've been kind of busy, trying to whip up
some good ideas for the band.

Like this banding?

Well, Chip, I don't want to pry into your affairs.

I was just curious, that's all.

I mean, Paul seems a nice enough fella.

He's friendly, courteous, and intelligent.

Look, Dad, as soon as this contest is
over, well, I'll try and work something out.

I'll try and work something out.

It's really very kind of you.

I'd do it myself, but I'm all fingers and thumbs.

Oh, that's all right.

Take nothing out.

Paul's date is meeting us at the party.

And if she got there ahead of us, it'd be awful.

All right, all right.

There, it's all finished.

Oh, thank you.

That's great.

By the way, how do our American girls
compare to your friends in England?

Oh, of course.

I spend most of my leisure time with the lads, actually.

I'm on the local rugby team, and we have a boxing club.

Really?

I didn't know.

Barbara, what's happened to Chip?

Do you think he feels that we've been too busy with Paul?

I certainly hope not.

Maybe he's a little embarrassed because
I'm older than his group.

That wouldn't bother Chip.

He'd be flattered to know older men.

Well, have a good time anyway.

Okay, bye.

Thank you.

Perhaps I said something wrong.

After all, my performance on guitar wasn't
exactly accepted with a glowing reaction, was it?

No, it's Chip.

Ever since he's thrown himself into this project,
he's forgotten everything and everybody else.

Isn't that a quality found in most successful people?

Something to be admired?

Paul, sometimes I wonder how we ever got
mad enough at you English to start a revolution.

Really?

I wonder how we ever got mad enough.

Hey, you guys, hold it.

It's the phone again.

Who is it?

It could be Barbara.

Couldn't you tell I'm busy?

She'd rather hear your pear-shaped tones.

Hi, Barbara.

What's up?

No, we're rehearsing.

I know we haven't seen him lately.

But we got a trophy to win.

Besides, I hear he's doing okay with all the girls in town.

Jealous?

You know better than that.

Quit yelling, Barbara.

That's great.

Keep talking.

Huh?

The more you keep talking, the less you
and the dynamiters can play.

Keep talking.

That was my Uncle Charley.

Look, Barbara, I like Paul, but he's your cousin.

Well, quit yelling, Barbara.

I am not selfish.

Barbara, I...

Barbara?

Wait a minute.

Let's take it from the top again.

One, two, three, four.

Well, about ready to hit the eight, Chip?

Yeah.

Say, I understand you had a conversation
with Barbara today.

Yeah, she got pretty salty.

I'm surprised they can't see your point of
view about the contest.

No.

Sure.

They don't know how important it is.

Yeah.

Yeah, winning a trophy is nothing to be taken lightly.

I mean, it's something anyone would treasure.

It's too bad this Paul Drayton couldn't
play your kind of music.

Man, he's awful.

You should have heard it.

Yeah.

Well, I guess some fellas have it and some fellas don't.

I know how you must feel.

Well, because you're a man, that's why.

Why?

Because a woman would think I'm self-centered.

Selfish.

Yes, women have a strange sense of values.

I mean, friendship and business are two different things.

Anybody knows that.

But the Deerings are very understanding.

I'm sure they'll see your side of things eventually.

In the meantime, Chip, why don't you just ignore him?

Good night.

Dad?

Yeah?

Are you trying to tell me something?

Tell you something?

Is that the way it sounded?

Yeah.

Oh.

Good night, Chip.

Oh, I figured out something about Dad, Chip.

What?

Why don't you get sneaky like you just did?

He means what he says.

Good night.

She had never did that before.

Sounds like it wants to commit suicide.

I think it just did.

Well, I just hope I'm not the instructor.

Ruding, but you seem to be in some kind of trouble here.

I think just died right in front of our eyes.

Well, wait.

There may be life in the old girl yet.

I think your timing's off adjustment.

It's falling apart.

Nobody wants to work on it but me,
and I haven't got the time.

I love these old models.

They've got character and dignity.

You wouldn't mind if I took a look, would you?

No, go ahead.

Don't happen to have a set of spanners handy, do you?

Spanners?

Yeah.

He means wrenches.

I read a lot.

Glad we found the crack in the plastic.

That's where the juice was getting through.

Hand me the spanner.

Not when the spacing was off on the plugs.

Here's your wrench.

We're playing at Anderson's Portable.

We're going to watch tonight.

Do you want to come?

I'd be delighted.

Would you put the top back on that thing there?

Sure.

The way we sound, we're not going to win any trophy.

But there'll be free food.

I'll bring you a guitar.

My guitar?

I wouldn't be heard above your amplifiers.

I know.

So you can't hurt anything.

Besides, it looks better with four guys
playing instead of three.

But there'll be free food, eh?

Right.

Agreed.

What are you calling yourselves?

Well, we took one Uncle Charlie's
suggestions, the dynamiters.

Well, should we start it up?

Oh, it's your own, huh?

No, yours.

I was just the apprentice.

The.

Final entry of the night, I give you Chip
Douglas and the dynamiters.

And don't forget, the proud winner will carry off
this beautiful trophy supplied by Anderson's Porch.

So, let's hear a big hand for Chip Douglas.

You, uh, you're not Paul Drayton, are you?

Yeah, I am Paul Drayton, but please
don't... Friends, friends, this is a surprise.

One of the dynamiters is Paul Drayton.

I'm speaking of one of the most promising
young artists in England.

Paul is a new performer, even in his own country.

But the whole world of folk music is
beginning to recognize his great talent.

Let's see if we can't get him to entertain us.

I'm sorry, Chip, I tried to stop you.

Oh, gosh, go ahead.

Look, when I'm not at the end of my solo,
can you lads fade in with a few bars?

Oh, sure.

You can do that?

Great.

,

Oh, hiya, Steve.

So you finally made it.

I made it.

Well, sit down while I drag out your warmed over dinner.

And you missed the big doings.

I just couldn't make it.

Chippin is noisemakers one that trophy tonight.

They did.

Yeah, only that English kid turned out to be the reason.

He's famous.

You know.

So Chip finally won that cup that meant so much to him.

Yeah.

Well, I hope it was worth it.

You mean because he was such a crumb the
way he went about it?

That's right.

You can forget that.

He gave the cup to that long-haired bundle from Britain.

You mean Chip gave the cup to Paul?

Yeah, and he made a big speech about how he didn't deserve

it and he wouldn't have won
it without him and all that jazz.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Now, Charlie, you know, so many times,
just when you think your kids are on the

edge of being a total loss, they'll do something
that makes the whole thing seem worthwhile.

Yeah.

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing's funny.

I'm just happy.

Chip and his g*ng are practicing right now.

Oh, where?

In San Francisco?

Oh, no.

Seattle?

No.

Well, Charlie, if I hadn't heard it with my own ears...

What could be as nice as an hour with my three sons?

How about an hour with three daughters?

Sure.

Stay tuned for Bobby Joe, Betty Joe, Billy Joe, and
everyone at the Shady Rest Hotel on Petticoat Junction.

As TV lands twice as nice morning, continues.