03x03 - Trapped in a Tiny Elevator

[bunniefuu]

[Jordan] Today, my daughter Salish
attempts to survive 24 hours

in the world's tiniest elevator.

It's so boring.

And if she succeeds,

I will buy her dinner wherever
and with whoever she wants.

-Oh, I know who I wanna bring to dinner.
-[upbeat music playing]

[Jordan] She'll have to complete
ten challenges to earn prizes…

What?

…that will make it easier
to stay overnight.

-[cackling]
-[horn squeaking]

Starting with World's Tiniest Ball Pit.

[Salish] What? What? Dad!

Come on in, everybody.

[Salish] Whoa! What am I doing, Dad?
What the heck?

-There is one purple ball in there.
-[Salish] A purple one?

If you can find that one ball
in the next two minutes,

you get to decorate your elevator
like it's your own bedroom.

Okay!

-Ow! I think that's good.
-Good luck, Say. [grunts]

Two minutes starting right now, Say.

Yeah! This is awesome!

Yeah!

[laughs] Oh! She's having fun in there.

I'm right here,
monitoring everything in the dining room.

And Salish is just
right over here in the elevator.

I have to whisper so she can't hear me.

There are thousands of ba*ls in there,
and only one of them is purple.

No way she can find it in two minutes.

Whoo!

I can't even see her.

This is so fun!

You gotta find one purple ball
in the next 90 seconds,

or else you don't get
to decorate the elevator.

Oh, there's too many, Dad!

We have five cameras
set up in the elevator,

so I'll be able
to watch everything on this monitor.

If I wanna talk to her,
I'll use this microphone.

Not on that side!

Salish, 60 seconds.

If she steps foot outside
of that elevator for the next 24 hours,

she automatically loses
and has to buy me dinner

wherever I wanna go
with whoever I wanna bring.

She's gonna be spending
all of her savings on me and my friends.

Obviously, an exception.

If she has to use the bathroom,
she gets a lifeline.

I don't think I'm gonna find it.

-Thirty seconds, Salish! Hurry up!
-What?

She's not gonna do it!

Wait! Is this it?

Oh! She found it!

-How did you find it?
-I saw it!

-Needle in a haystack, literally.
-Dad, hurry up. I got it.

-Whoa! Oh, wait! I can't come out, right?
-[buzzer sounds]

-You can't… Come on out!
-No, it's okay.

There's thousands of ba*ls,
and she found the one purple one. Gah!

-If you get out, I can clean this quicker.
-No.

-Real quick.
-No.

[sighs] Okay, that was too easy.

I've got some really good
challenges comin' up next.

They're even harder.
But I thought I might win that one.

-Here's stuff to decorate your elevator.
-Oh, wow. Thank you.

-For the next 24 hours.
-Oh, okay.

-Thank you.
-Good luck.

I guess I'm decorating my elevator
into a bedroom now.

How did she find this one purple ball
in this sea of color?

This is a huge carpet. Bro.

I have the most scary challenge
for Salish coming up later.

Wait until you see it.

I got one of the scare actors
from Knott's Berry Farm

dressed as a clown
who's already scared her there…

-[screams]
-Oh my God!

…to come here
and terrify her later tonight.

If that doesn't get her to run out
of the elevator, nothing will.

Oww!

A magazine. Love reading.

Some oat milk. Waah!

Some coffee and a teapot.

I don't know why I would need a mirror,
'cause there's a huge mirror right there.

Oh! This is low-key good.

I might steal this
and put this in my actual room.

Some ICEEs.

-What the heck?
-[bleep]

Um… That was so scary.
I guess the light turns off in here.

Salish, you wanna stop chomping
that gum all over the place?

-Get that gum outta your mouth.
-No.

I can't have 24 hours
watching you chomp gum.

Womp, womp. Does it look like I care?

Did she "womp, womp" me?
I hate womp, womp.

Time for me to set up
the next challenge.

This is Sofia, and she's dating
one of these three men.

Salish is gonna have to play
Guess the Couple in the elevator.

And if she doesn't get the right couple,

all four of them are staying
in the elevator with Salish

for the rest of the day.

I just want you to walk in, stand there.

And don't say anything.
Let it get awkward.

What should I do now?
I think I should take a nap.

-Say, you ready for your next challenge?
-Yep.

Oh, hi.

Um, Dad, what's the challenge?

-Oh. Oh, hi.
-[muzak playing]

Oh, wait, what?

Dad, what are you doing?

Oh. Hi.

[laughing]

[muzak continues]

That's so awkward.

[Salish] Um…

[record scratch]

Salish, Sofia is in the elevator with you,

and she is dating one of the men.

-You have to play Guess the Couple.
-Okay.

If you can't guess who she's dating,

then they will all stay in the elevator
with you for the rest of the day.

Oh, wait, what?

I know you're gonna quit if that happens.

If you don't get this right,
you're basically losing,

and I get the dinner anywhere I wanna go.

-Good luck.
-Um, who are you dating?

-I'm not allowed to tell you.
-[Salish] Do you wanna hug each person?

Sure. Start with Azariah.

Xander.

Julius.

Oh, I don't think it's Julius.

Sofia gave an awkward hug
with her boyfriend to throw Salish off.

-Do you know the person's favorite color?
-Yes.

Azariah, what's your favorite color?
Whisper it.

I'm closing my ears and closing my eyes.

In 30 seconds,
you have to eliminate the first person

you're sure is not her boyfriend.

-Okay, what's your favorite color?
-[whispers] Blue.

-What's your favorite color?
-[mouths]

[sighs] Bro.

It's getting hot in there.

If she doesn't guess this couple right,
she is going to quit.

I'm positive of it, and I get dinner.

-What's your boyfriend's favorite color?
-Blue.

Okay. Um, hug each person again.

Start with you this time.

[Jordan] Ten seconds.

Okay, I'm gonna eliminate Xander
because the hug was kind of awkward.

You have one question,
and you have to eliminate one more person.

What was your first date?

That was a smart question.

All right, what was the first date?

We went to Mel's drive-in,
and we danced to some music.

I'm gonna eliminate Azariah

because they did not think
they had the same first date.

-All right, bye.
-[Azariah] See you.

I'm officially single, man.

Please tell me you guys are dating.

-[both] Yeah, we're dating.
-[Salish] Aww!

She got it. No!

Nice to meet you guys. Yes! I got it.

Oh, that was my best shot.

Okay, I've got some really good challenges
coming up next. They're even harder.

Salish is a restless kid.

I think she does
way too many activities every day.

So I have challenged her to do
absolutely nothing for 24 hours.

Oh, perfume!

Does this perfume smell good?

Ugh! Now I'm stuck with it.

Hah! You're trapped in it.

-Why don't you open the door and leave?
-No.

Dad, these pictures are so bad.

-The pictures are great. They're memories.
-Yeah, of my family.

-The most important people in your life.
-No, my friends are.

-Oh.
-I'm just kidding. I love you.

Aww. I love you too.
Did everybody hear that? Replay it.

I love you.

Aww.

Now I'm just gonna set
these LED lights up.

Guys, Vecna is here.

I'm going to put all those
under the chair.

Hold on. I think I might change it
to pink, 'cause I like pink.

-That's cool looking, actually.
-It's purple.

I thought she'd hang it
around the elevator.

Now I'm gonna put butterflies.
Oh, that's cute.

You guys are probably wondering
why we even have this elevator.

It's for old people like my parents.

When they have to walk upstairs,
they can get up.

Because my dad's getting really old.

-So he's gonna start needing this soon.
-I'm gonna show you something.

Whew, whew, whew.

-Look at that. You think I'm old?
-My dad's running up the stairs now.

-Does this look old to you?
-Yes, it does!

I'll keep doing it forever.
You can cut, Sandy.

[panting] So much for the old jokes, huh?
I'm not tired.

I've got more prizes waiting for her,
including a bed.

But the challenges
are gonna keep getting harder.

Oh my gosh. This is so boring.

I've only been here
for, like, 45 minutes.

[laughs]

She's not gonna make it 23 more hours.
Are you kidding?

Let's try and make some coffee.

Then I put spoonfuls of coffee in it.

She's making coffee?

Then what you do is you let it steep.
I know that word.

-Are you making cold brew?
-Yeah.

She's got it all decked out in there,
and she's making coffee?

-She might make it after all.
-Did I cook with that?

-Now I'm gonna add my oat milk.
-That would be a me thing.

Ugh!

[laughs]

Let's add some ICEE stuff. Blue raspberry.

Oh. She added blue stuff?

-Bleugh! [coughing]
-[laughs]

Eww! That's disgusting!

Bro, there's nothing to do in here.

That blue stuff is for an ice cone.

Oh, it's making it into smaller ice.

Salish is doing a great job.
She's a teenager.

She's in a tiny room all by herself
with no screens.

I'm impressed.

There we go. Finished product.

[crunching]

Just tastes like ice.
Like, I can't taste the syrup.

I'm so tired, and I really want my phone.

Two hours, no phone?

That's a win for me.

Let's try reading this magazine.

Oh, wow. Ugh!

I don't know what else to do.
Dude, there's nothing to do in here.

It's so boring.

Could you use
a little Starbucks to wake you up?

Yes, I'm so tired.

-This is a bunch of money.
-I can see.

We're gonna blow fans, and all this money
is gonna be blowing in the air.

-Okay.
-However much you catch in 30 seconds?

You can use it to buy Starbucks.

-I really want Starbucks.
-You gotta catch it in the air.

-Okay, okay.
-It lands on the ground, you get nothing.

-Okay. I need Starbucks now.
-Are you ready? Okay. Cue the fans!

-Oh!
-[Jordan laughs]

No, not my hair!

[Jordan] I knew it! I knew it.

My hair!

This is all fake money.

You got 30 seconds starting right now. Go!

-[lively music playing]
-Oh my God!

It's so hard.

Where is it?

She's not getting any money.

You're not gonna get anything
with your eyes closed.

You only have ten seconds!

Aaaah!

[laughing]

Ha-ha! That's awesome!

Five seconds!

Three, two, one.

Cut the fans! Cut the fans!

Oh, how's that hair doing?

-[laughs]
-Stop!

Let's see how much money you got.
Come here. Show it to me here.

Oh-h*! [laughing]

That was so close.

Salish finished cleaning
the money out of her tiny room

and counting the money she had left.

-How much is it?
-Thirty-one dollars.

You can have any of these items.

-A pink drink.
-That's a Strawberry Açaí Refresher.

-A mocha in the new holiday cup.
-[Salish] Oh.

Actually, I love mochas.

She knows I hope she doesn't pick it
so I can drink it. You can buy a brush.

-Oh, I can buy my hairbrush back. Yay.
-[laughs]

Chocolate croissant, which you love
'cause you get it every day we go there.

My books. And then some big things.

-VR will entertain you for 24 hours.
-[Salish] Okay.

But that's all your money.
And this is all over the internet.

It is a neck massager.

-You can afford any of them.
-Mmm. Let's smell this.

-Smells good.
-Wait, when did… What was that?

-You can't drink something and then--
-You didn't say that!

I might buy the Vision Pro with my 30.

-You're not gonna have any Starbucks?
-No.

-Aren't you gonna get hungry or thirsty?
-I just hydrated.

-You going with Apple Vision Pro?
-Yep.

Okay. You have one dollar left.
Fortunately, both of my books…

-[Salish] Oh…
-Which are only one dollar each.

I would rather not be looking
at the word "Jordan Matter."

-She's literally on the cover of this.
-Mmm, that's okay.

-Here's your Apple Vision Pro.
-Oh, thank you.

-Enjoy being there.
-Thank you so much.

-What? No! Hey! Give…
-Mmm!

Give me that. Sali…

Say… What?

What was that?
She just ate the whole crois… Dude!

Let's unbox this Apple Vision Pro.

This will actually entertain her.
It was pretty smart.

So I got it for $30,
and normally it's, like, really expensive.

It's probably, like, $1,000.

Best news of the day,
she didn't pick my favorite drink.

I think it might've been used
once or twice. Hudson.

Oww! Do I look stupid?

How do I get it on?

You have about 20 hours left to figure out
how to use that Apple Vision.

Bro, what the heck? Why is it not working?

She left the cover on.

Ohhhh! That was my bad.

[laughing]

It says, "Encounter dinosaurs." Start.

I wanna catch the butterfly.

[light music playing]

Anybody remember the one time I did VR
and Salish decided to push me off a cliff?

-[Jordan] I can't do it!
-Go! Go!

[Jordan yelps]

[yelps]

What just happened?

At least I got a hug outta the deal.

-Sorry!
-I never wanna do VR again.

Whoa. There's two dinosaurs,
and I think they're gonna fight.

Oh, guys, both of them are looking at me.

Oh.

Salish is about to have
a mini jump scare on this VR,

but not as bad as the jump scare
she's gonna get at the end of the day

if she stays in this elevator.

-[horn blares]
-[cackling]

-[dramatic music playing]
-Oh God. Oh God.

Oh. One's coming at me.

-Oh no. Oh no.
-[growling]

[roars]

Whoa!

Oh my God.

-Oh.
-Did she fall out?

-I didn't step out.
-Replay! Was anybody filming?

Oh, that was so close.

She almost fell out of the door
with a jump scare, and I would've won.

I didn't step out, but that was scary.

I've got a great plan to get her out.
She's gonna fall for this for sure.

Salish is in the elevator for 24 hours,

but I wanna get her out
so I can win the competition.

What I need you to do is
pretend that you're here at the house.

I can do that.

So I'm gonna put a microphone
up to my phone,

and then she's gonna think that
you're talking to her from inside here.

She's gonna come out to see you.
'Cause she's bored out of her mind.

I don't know what she's doing,
but she's bored.

She'll come out in a second,
and then I win.

I'll pretend
I'm letting you into the house.

-Hey, come on in.
-[alarm bleeps]

Salish, I have somebody here
that came over that wants to say hi.

-Oh, okay.
-Hi, Salish.

-Hello?
-I'm at your house.

I really wanna hang out with you.
You should come out.

-Payton?
-Yes. It's been so long! Come see me.

I don't know
if I actually believe she's here.

No, I'm here. I promise. You should come.

-We're right here. Come out and see her.
-Then open the door and show me.

-I'm literally right here. Just come.
-Then open the door, Dad.

I can't. That's not part of the challenge.

I don't actually know if she's here.

-But I miss Payton. Let's see.
-Come out!

Salish, are you coming?

Yeah, I'm gonna open the door.

[dramatic music playing]

Wait, Salish! Salish, actually don't come.

It's just a FaceTime call,
and I really want you to win.

Team Salish!

-No, what?
-Wait, really? Okay. Thank you, Payton.

-No, no, no. That was a joke.
-I don't think that was a joke.

[mimics Payton] I was just joking.
I'm right here.

-[laughs] Dad.
-[Jordan] It's me, Payton. I'm right here!

Gah! We had you.

Yeah, I was about to come out.
I miss Payton.

What if you just come out, and you and I
get on a plane and go to see Payton now?

I kinda have school tomorrow.

[sighs] That was so close to working.

My origami looks so good.

-What the heck?
-Well, I'm Team Salish.

We're, like, besties.

You think I'm just gonna go
behind her back and help you win?

If she wins, you know
she's taking me to dinner, right?

You and a thousand other people.
I'm so stressed out about this.

It's gonna cost $10,000.

I'm so good at origami.

Homemade fortune teller.

Uh, huh, huh…

Jordan.

Jordan. Still has… She's…

Oh God. She's still…

Why isn't she leaving?
Oh my God. I just actually fell asleep.

Was I snoring?
If I snored, will you cut it out?

[snoring]

This next challenge
is the biggest one yet,

because this earns Salish
an amazing dinner.

She's gonna have five chances
to flip this bottle into this square.

If she gets it,
this is what she has for dinner.

Oh!

Pretty awesome.
If she doesn't get it, she gets a salad.

-You hungry?
-Yes!

If you flip this bottle and land it
in the square, you get five chances,

you get the best dinner you can imagine
inside an elevator.

-Ready? You got five chances.
-[suspenseful music playing]

-[buzzer sounds]
-You landed it, but out of the box.

-[buzzer sounds]
-Oh! [laughs]

For dinner, it's so good. This could…

-Oh!
-Bro.

For the win!

Oh, so close.

This is it.

-One last chance.
-Okay.

For dinner.

-Oh!
-Hey!

Oh! Oh!

-Let's go.
-You got it on the last try.

-What's the dinner?
-This is exciting.

It's gonna be tight in there.

[Salish] Guys, look.
This is actually crazy.

Hibachi in an elevator? That's fun.

[Salish] The vegetables are going on.

They look so good.

[grill sizzling]

[Salish] Whoa!

That's so cool.

She might quit.
It's a little tight in there.

And he's throwing things around
and it might freak her out.

-[clang]
-Wow.

He's so close,
and the food looks really good.

This is the best hibachi in L.A.

It's also the most expensive.

If he was doing a full spread
for, like, ten or 12 people,

this would be stupid expensive.

Luckily, it's just one person.

Salish's food reviews. Zucchini.

Mmm!

I don't know if putting
a chef in her elevator

was the best way to get her to quit,
now I think about it.

Wow!

Oh my goodness.

Actually crazy.

Oh! Salish, the spatula just hit you.

Hibachi man.

-Sorry, sorry.
-Wow. No, I don't care. You're good.

I told him to do that. It's totally safe.

It's not sharp or anything,
but I thought she would freak out.

She's just chillin'
in this elevator today.

By the way, he just left for 30 seconds.
He's a pro.

And I know my dad probably told him to,

but he's dropped things
two or three times, and I'm really scared.

She could stay here.
She could enjoy her food.

Absolutely doesn't matter,

'cause I got somethin' so big
and so scary comin' up,

she's gonna quit.

This is so much fun.

It wasn't supposed to be that much fun.
I mean, I want her to quit.

I've done hibachi in my backyard,
and I did it with Nidal,

so that was pretty cool too.

That was this year,
but they look so much younger.

Thank you so much.

-Goodbye.
-I'm not quitting this round.

Twelve hours into the challenge,
still no screen. Except for the VR.

Salish is in the elevator.
She's probably super bored.

She hasn't gotten any exercise.
So I have a plan for that.

Anna McNulty.
First, we're gonna freak her out.

-How?
-I want you to get into this suitcase.

-Does she know I'll be in here?
-She doesn't know you're here.

-Are you serious?
-Then you deliver these things to her.

She's gonna want this holiday blanket.
She'll flip out.

PJs, she'll flip out. And a pillow.
She needs all this to last all night.

Isn't she going to be scared,
with a random person in the suitcase?

Yeah. That's the point.

Okay.

[Jordan laughing]

This is great.

Guys, I have so many
creative ideas in here.

-Are you good?
-I'm good.

This is what you're giving Salish
if she completes the challenge.

Here we go.

-I'll leave it open.
-[Anna] That's good.

-See what I'm seeing.
-This is so roomy.

-Ready for a challenge?
-Hello? Uh-huh.

There's something you really want
in this suitcase.

-[Salish] Oh.
-I'm just gonna lay it down here for you.

-Okay. Have fun.
-[Salish] Um…

Okay. Well, there's a suitcase here.
Let's open it.

What's in this? Oh my God!

Anna? Oh my gosh.

-Hi, Salish.
-Hi.

This is gonna be fun.

I brought you some gifts.

-I know you love holiday blankets.
-Thank you!

-How do you like the new holiday blanket?
-It looks good.

-Wondering why Anna is a cheerleader?
-Yeah, a little.

You need that blanket, pillow,
and pajamas to make it through the night.

-Right?
-I guess.

So, in order to earn that,

you and Anna have to choreograph
a cheer routine in the elevator,

and then you're gonna be judged on it.

-Um… Okay.
-You have ten minutes to choreograph.

-I already have some ideas. Ready?
-Oh, really? Okay!

[Salish humming] Hmm, hmm, hah, hah.

What if you kicked that way?

-And I go like that?
-Yeah, like that.

It takes days to choreograph
a good cheer routine,

and they have
a football field to do it on.

This is the world's tiniest elevator,
and they have ten minutes.

I think I'm about to win.

-High V, and then both kick.
-Kick?

And we'll do some arm motions.
What do you think? Like this?

-[Salish] Stand?
-[Anna] Yes, just like that.

Anna, don't drop my kid.

She's going to be fine.

It's cheer, so you have to do a cheer.

[both] Go…

Team…

Say… lish!

We have a professional cheer judge coming.

I told her, "Don't take it easy on 'em
just because they're in an elevator."

Here are the categories.

I wanna let you know
how the cheer judge will be scoring you.

-All right.
-[Jordan] Kicks and jumps.

-Okay, we got that.
-[Jordan] Crowd-leading skills.

Cheer motion technique.

Dance technique.

And overall impression.

I think we just need to add a jump.

Oh, you have seven minutes.

-[Anna] What if we did a ripple?
-[Salish] So…

Two. The whole elevator
is shaking right now. Three.

I might just put my feet up
and win dinner.

Should we practice one more time?

You have three minutes left.

-[Salish] One more time.
-I feel like it's a mess.

She can stay as long as she wants
because I have a trick up my sleeve.

-And that trick is a terrifying clown.
-[horn blares]

Thirty seconds.

One more time. Five, six, seven, eight.

[both] Go, Team Salish!

-Good job.
-We got that.

Salish and Anna are gonna have to score


If Salish wins, she gets lots of stuff
that will help her sleep the night.

A blanket, a pillow, and pajamas.

-Ten seconds left.
-[Anna] Two, three, four.

-Stop. Time for the judge.
-You got this.

This is Tanya.
She's a professional cheer judge.

Next up on the floor, Team Salish.

-Let's do this.
-You got it.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Go, Team Salish!

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[both] Team Salish!

[laughs]

-Okay, girls.
-Wait.

I've never seen anything like this.

You have to judge this
by professional standards.

Dad, we're kinda limited
in this small space.

It's not like
we could do a full tumbling pass.

And we only had ten minutes, and usually,
cheer teams have an entire season.

Your kicks were good,
but your jumps were not proper jumps.

Your arms could have been cleaner.

-We had to bend our arms in the elevator.
-[Jordan] I'm sorry.

When doing cheer, do
the cheerleaders talk back to the judge?

-But, Dad, look--
-Never.

You should just disqualify them
for talking back. Disqualify them.

-Are you talking to me right now?
-Oh.

Now, that gets an 8.5.

I like the Team Salish chant.

Very enthusiastic.
I'm gonna give you a 9.5.

-[Jordan] What?
-Good job!

What? Nine point…

You're right. Sorry.

Your motions were sharp.

Your high Vs
and your low Vs were correct.

So I'm gonna give you guys a 9.5.

Two in a row? Are you kidding?

Now, girls. Where was the dancing?
I'm giving you a seven.

Come on. Dinner, here I come.

Overall impression?

Eight.

-That's… that's okay.
-Yeah, that's not bad.

-What's the final score?
-Final is 42.5.

Come on! That is not even… No!

Rigged!

-Good job.
-That's crazy. Good job to you.

I don't know
if I would've picked these out,

but, I mean, they're pretty cute,
and they're really comfortable.

I'm gonna do a TikTok. Let's do it.

[upbeat pop music playing]

[sighs] She's TikToking.

I think it's time
to open my holiday blanket.

Sandy, cue when Salish saw the holiday
blankets for the first time this year.

[gasps]

-Oh!
-[woman] The snowflakes are cute.

She loves the holiday blankets.

Let's see it. So comfy.

I think I low-key might fall asleep.
I'm so tired.

She's pretty much all set now,
except she's gonna need a bed.

This next thing is big, because
this is gonna get you

everything else you need
to sleep through the night.

The bed, skincare,
toothbrush, and toothpaste.

-Oh, let's go.
-We're gonna play Guess the Family Member.

Salish is gonna be blindfolded,
wearing noise-cancelling headphones

so she can't hear
anything that's happening.

One of us is gonna be in there with her,

and she has to figure out
which one of us it is.

Whoever's in there is gonna be
speaking in this microphone.

[distorted] And our voice
will sound like this.

-Are you ready?
-All right. Yeah.

-[suspenseful music playing]
-Cool.

Yo, what's good?

[yells] Hello!

-Hello.
-Who's your favorite kid?

You know I can't answer that,
but it's Hudson.

Oh, this is Hudson.

What's your favorite thing to do with me?

What time of year is it?

That's such a Hudson thing to say.

This is too easy.

I'm gonna make her guess
all three family members to get her prize.

Is your room messy or clean?

Hudson's room is very messy.
I don't approve of it.

Uh-huh. Thank you.

This is so obviously Hudson, bro.

Okay, next.

Um, why do people keep on moving?

[distorted] I'm a new person.
You have to guess all three of us.

How'd she catch me so fast?

Who's your favorite child?

I don't have a favorite child.
I love you both the same.

You're talking so weird, bro.

Sounds like you're trying
to sound like Mom,

but I don't know
if you're actually Mom or not.

What did we do after gymnastics
on Thursday night?

We went to Starbucks.

And what did I get?

That new holiday drink.

Did you stay in the car,
or did you come with me?

I came with you.

No, you had to stay with Boomer,
so you stayed in the car.

-I don't think you sound like that.
-He's trying to sound calm and measured.

Yeah, I'm done with you. Next person.

I know that's Dad.

This is so easy.

-Pretend to be me when you go in there.
-She knows. It's so obvious.

If she gets a bed, and if she gets
toothbrush and toothpaste and everything,

she'll definitely stay the night, right?

So I need to win this challenge.

Okay, do I like my door to be closed soft
or, like, really hard?

[distorted] Oh, bro, you slam it.

Oh. Okay, yeah, that's true.

What does Mom always do?

Well, you know
Mom's, like, kind of gentle, you know?

She always closes it so gently.
It really annoys me.

So, Mom, if this is you,
stop closing it gently, please.

Oh, I'll tell her.

Even if she wins this challenge,
I have one more thing.

You know how she's scared of clowns?

[Salish giggles] Don't…

Oh, sh…

[clown snarling]

Well, I've got the scariest clown coming.

-Here?
-Yes!

[horn blares]

I don't want to be here.

What's my favorite holiday?

Christmas.

So I low-key think this might be my mom.

I'm gonna end this right now.

[Salish] Oh, and they left.

Why does everyone leave?

Everyone's so bad at acting.

[distorted] Salish,
it's time to make a decision.

-Take off your blindfold.
-Oh, wow! It's bright.

You've gotta get all three of us right.

-We decided.
-I know who it was. One, two, three.

The easiest game I've ever played.

-[Jordan groans]
-Oh, wow!

Toothbrush, toothpaste, skincare.

Bowl for water, and your bed.

Oh, here, can you move?
Get out real quick?

-Move out so I can get it in.
-No. Uh-uh.

[sighs] Ah.

[Salish] Oh, thank you.

You've got food. You've got bedding.
You have everything to stay overnight.

-Can you take this thing out?
-Okay.

-Thank you.
-Good night.

-Good night.
-She doesn't know what's about to hit her.

Blanket.

Nice and comfy now.

She's looking so tired.
She is about to go to sleep any minute.

I can't let that happen.
I have a plan. Honey, come here.

Guys, honestly,
living in this elevator isn't bad.

It's not something I would do every day,
but it's low-key kind of fun.

I'm so tired. I honestly think
I'm just gonna go to bed now.

Then, when I wake up, I'm gonna go buy
the most expensive dinner in L.A.

So that's gonna be so fun.

Just tell her, like, how much
you love her. Read her, like, that book.

She might hate this emotion so much,
she might walk out.

And if she doesn't,
I'm building up a big plan now.

-Good luck.
-Hi, Say-Say.

-Oh God. Hi.
-She's gonna hate this.

-I love, love, love being your mom.
-Oh.

Salish might leave,
'cause she hates emotion.

But if she stays, I've got one big plan.

We're gonna make this place super dark,
have creepy lighting,

and bring in the scariest clown
from Knott's Scary Farm.

[Lauren] Say, are you listening?

Oh my God.

[both laughing]

Let me go to sleep.

This is Carlos.

And he has been
at Knott's Scary Farm for ten years.

And Salish is terrified of clowns.

[onlookers screaming]

[Salish] Oh my God!

[panicked gasping]

We're gonna make it super creepy,
and then open the door,

let Carlos scare the heck out of her,
and she'll go running out of the elevator.

And I win a dinner.

I will do anything to win.
I do not want her to have my credit card.

Say, I'm gonna read you a story.

You're trying to sleep,
so this is the perfect opportunity.

You want me to turn you down? You're
on the speaker. I could turn you down.

No, no, no, no, no. I want you to listen
to everything that I wanna say.

You're growing up.

-Okay, and down you go.
-[Lauren] And it's so…

[chuckles] Wait a minute. You can't--

Turning it off.

Good night, Mom. Love you. Sweet dreams.

This is a story. Wait.

Well, that fixed that problem. Good night.

Wait, Say…
[muffled] Are you turning me down?

-Yeah, Mom. I already turned you off.
-She turned off your speaker.

I'm so tired,
and nobody's letting me sleep.

I'm just coming over to the elevator.
You're not getting away.

Oh my God.

It's a little Say holding a little heart.

[groans]

Salish, if you don't wanna hear the story
anymore, you can just leave.

-It's our Bunny Days. Bunny--
-[Salish groaning]

♪La, la, la… ♪

Anybody who knows Salish
knows she doesn't like emotion.

This might be the worst
of all time for her.

Trapped in an elevator,
listening to her mother

read her a bedtime story
and say how much she loves her.

Doesn't get any worse for Salish,
except maybe scary clowns.

-[cackling]
-[horn squeaking]

It's Christmastime! Okay.

La, la, la!

-The end.
-Finally.

-Oh my God. Thank God. Thank you.
-I'm going to bed.

Finally.

If this prank doesn't work
and she stays in the elevator,

basically, she wins this challenge
'cause I got nothin' left.

She'll just go to sleep,
wake up in the morning, and it's over.

So this is my last chance.

-Good night, Say.
-Good night.

-Love you.
-Love you.

[bell chimes]

Okay, that's creepy.

She's gonna freak out.

Sandy. Cue what happened
last time she was with clowns.

[clown growls]

[Salish screaming]

[Nidal] Get her, get her!

She doesn't have Nidal here
to hide behind this time.

She's gonna freak out.
I'm about to win dinner.

[door creaking]

What's happening? Oh my God.

[tense music playing]

[Salish whispers] They got a thing…

Well, hello, little girl.

[cackling] Can I read you a bedtime story?

Can you speak? Come with me.

[cackling]

[horn squeaking]

[laughing maniacally]

What happened?

-That was it.
-You were to scare her!

-She's not afraid of clowns.
-She's afraid. I know she is!

-I can see it in her eyes. She's not.
-[Salish] Dad.

-Last week, she--
-Really?

Being scared of clowns is so last week.
Good night.

What?

I told ya! [chuckles]

You lost the bet.

What?

-You wanna just have dinner now?
-Yeah.

Fine. You win. Come on, let's go.

-Yay!
-I…

-What the heck?
-I missed house.

-Yay!
-[whimpers]

-Where are we going to dinner?
-You don't have to go far, Dad. Come on!

I got the most expensive dinner in L.A.
for the crew.

[all cheering]

Team Salish!

[chuckling] Yeah!

[crew cheering and clapping]