01x17 - Tilly Tour/Dinner Party

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

One, two!
One, two, three, four!

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la ♪

[chicken squawks]

[Gramma humming]

I'm done decorating my cookies.

Sweet, but dangerous.

Like me!

How are yours
coming along, sweetie?

One for the cookie,
one for me.

One for the cookie,
one for me.

[Tilly]
One for the cookie,
one for me.

-One for the...
-Tilly!

Sorry, Gramma!
I was just finishing up!

[gulp]
Ahh...

I present to you--
the Statue of Responsibility,

and Big Bank Tower.

What the heck
kinda cookies are those?

They're the most famous
landmarks in Big City.

You've lived here forever.
You must recognize them!

I don't need
to recognize them.

I want nothing to do with
this terrible city!

Gramma, [munches]

the only thing
better than [munches]

the cookies in Big City,

[chomps]

is Big City itself!

[gulps] Ahh!

If you just got out there
and saw it,

I know you'd love it.

Blech! No I won't!

Come on, Gramma!

I'm taking you
on a Big City Tour!

Aah!

[TV] Welcome back to...

Dogs With Shoes On!

Ha! Dogs don't wear shoes!
They're not people!

Silly dogs.

[chuckles]
It's true what they say.

TV just keeps gettin' better!

[barking] [whining]

[sighs] Truly a golden age.

-Big City Tour!
Big City Tour!
-Let go of me!

Hey,
where you guys goin'?

I'm taking Gramma
into the city.

No, you ain't!

Anyway, don't wait up, bye!

Bye!

That's real nice
of your sister.

Ma could use the fresh air.

Hmm... So, Dad!

Now that the
women-folk are gone,

what are the men
gonna do?

Oh, I think
I've got an idea!

With Gramma out of the house,

I finally got a chance
to remodel her old bathroom!

She's such a grump!

She'd never
let me mess with it!

Oh, my gravy.

[Bill sighs]
No more leaky sinks.

No more rusty water.

Bill Green,
you've got your work
cut out for ya.

Cricket Green, you've also
got your work cut out for ya.

Uhh...

Don't worry, Gramma.

Everyone loves Big City
once they've experienced it.

Ugh! I'm experiencing it
right now. It stinks!

You might feel different
after I show you...

Our first stop
on the Big City tour,

The Statue of
Responsibility.

Meh. It's just like
any other dumb statue.

The Silverway Bridge!

It's just like
any other dumb bridge.

-The Big City
Symphony Orchestra?
-[singing]

They're outta tune!

-[guitar twang]
-Hmm!

[Tilly] Our last stop--

Big Bank Tower!

Wow! Everything looks
so small from up here!

Sure is windy,
right, Gramma?

You seen one small thing,
you seen 'em all.

Well, there's more
to this place than
just the view.

Did you know that
The Big Bank Tower
was built--

I know
when it was built!

I remember when they
destroyed acres of farmland

to put up this hunk of junk!

I remember when they put up
all these hunks of junk!

[Gramma] I was livin'
my idyllic country life,

when all of the sudden

the land was infested
by this horrible city!

-[cacophony]
-[Gramma] Nooo!

I liked this land
the way it was,

before Big City moved in.

These places might
be important to other people,

but they aren't important to me!

You're right, Gramma.

These places
aren't important,

but let me show you
some places that are!

-Come on!
-Gah!

[Bill] All right, Cricket.

Now, where
should we start.

The shower's
always leakin',

but the plaster
could use patchin'.

Well, enough
chitty-chitty chattin',

Let's get to work!

Bye-bye, leaky pipe!

Cricket, no!

That's not how you--

Yah!

[gurgling]

Hold on, Boy! I got--

Whoa! [grunts]

[gurgling]

Yah! [grunts]

You think water
can stop me?!

I'm Cricket Green!

Master of the elements!

[grunting]
I did it!

[rattling]

[screaming]

Oh no! The water's rising!

What should we do, Dad?

[gurgling]

You're a genius!

We'll eat the water!

[grunting]

(muffled) Cricket!

Tilly, I'm tellin' ya,

no matter where
we go on this tour,

I ain't gonna like it.

That was the old tour.

Now, we're on
the Tilly Tour!

I'm gonna show you
all the things

that are meaningful to me
in this city.

Our first stop
is a real humdinger.

[train whistle]

I hate this!

It's too dang loud here,
Tilly!

Exactly!
The noise drives people away!

Makin' it the perfect
environment

to observe the rarest city
creature of all.

[whistles]

[purring, meows]

What? Tilly, that's just
an old alley cat.

-Is that really what
you dragged me here to-- oh!
-[meows, squeaks]

[Gramma] Oh my!

Oh! Ohh!

Tilly! What am I
lookin' at?!

This, is a "cratigeon."

She likes peanuts.

[Tilly] Half cat, half rat,

half pigeon,
and who knows what else.

[grunting]

-Aww... it reproduced!
-Wowie...

That ain't nothing you'd
ever see in farm country.

Yup!

Only in Big City!

I bet the boys are sorry
they missed this!

Yeah! They're probably still
on the couch watching TV.

The next stop
on the Tilly Tour

is my favorite statue
in the whole city.

Hmm...

It just looks like
another boring statue.

Hold on, Gramma.

Watch this!

Pretty neat, huh?

[gasps]
Oh, my goodness gracious!

He moves!

Tilly, did you see that?!

Oh, pay attention!

Aw, he stopped!

Sorry, Gramma.

That's all one
quarter can buy.

One quarter?

Leave it to me, Tilly!

Ha! Wowie!

We're gonna be here
for a while.

-Now, dance, corporal, dance!
-[moans]

[grunting]

-[gasps, coughs]
-[gasps]

Cricket,
this might be it for us.

Before we go,
I have to tell you somethin'.

[gasps] When you were a baby,
I gave you soda once!

I've got somethin'
to say, too, Dad!

I'm sorry,
I never told you,

but I was the one
who broke your--

[gurgles]

You broke what now?

Nope. Moment's gone.

Maybe next time, Dad.

[clock chiming]

Oh no!
Is it four already?!

The bathroom
is in shambles!

Gramma's be back at five
for her night bath!

She's gonna k*ll us
when she sees this mess!

She wouldn't even let me
fix the bathroom!

What's she gonna say when
she sees we destroyed it?!

Dad! Get a hold of yourself!
We got an hour.

What can't two Greens
and a toolbox do in an hour?

Cricket,
there's a lot of things

we can't do in an hour!
[yelps]

That's because
you're thinkin'.

We don't have
time to think!

With my youthful energy
and your girthy power,

we can do anything!

Now, move!
Move! Move!

You're right!

Let's fix
this bathroom!

[both screaming]

You know, Tilly,

maybe I didn't give
this city enough credit.

I've seen some pretty
amazing things today.

Well, hold on
to your hat,

because I've saved
the best for last!

Ooh, a hotel.

Wait, what?

Tilly,
where the heck are we?

This is your favorite stop
on the Tilly Tour?

Over here, Gramma!

Huh?

[Tilly] Behold!

The hotel's inner workings!

What in the world?

Tilly-ball!

It's like floating on a hot,
800-thread-count cloud.

[grunts]

Ooo!

Yeah, Gramma.

Let the weight
of the world
melt off ya.

This is incredible.

I've never felt this relaxed.

Well, if you think
this is good,

wait till you see
what's next.

[rock music playing]

-Yeah! [laughing]
-[giggling]

[both laughing]

[both] Watch out!

[Gramma] Aah!

[both groaning]

Hey! You aren't
supposed to be in here!

You two are
in big trouble!

Come on, Tilly!

Hey! Get back here!

Gramma, maybe we should
turn ourselves in.

Just when it's
getting good? Ha!

-[Tilly whimpering]
-Come on! This way!

[grunting]

Excuse me!
Did you see a little girl

and an old woman
run past here?

Thanks!

Wait...

Ah-ha! Oh!

[clears throat]
I'm so sorry.

Hurry, Tilly.
We can escape
out this window.

Stop! I'm not letting you
get away so easy!

[grunts]

[both scream, grunt]

[both gasp]

Dead end!

I'm invoking Hotel Law!

You're under arrest!

Ha! In your dreams!
Yah!

We're bustin' outta here!

-Whoo-hoo!
-I will not rest

until I bring you
to justice!

Ooh!
It's my lunch break.

[both laughing]

Oh! We really
gave her the slip, huh?

I am untouchable.

Tilly, thank you
for showin'

your old gramma
a good time
in the city.

But I still don't get it.

Why are you doin'
all this for me?

Because, Gramma, if you just
give the city a chance,

you'll see that
there's so much to love!

-[cat hissing]
-[police siren]

I hate to admit it,

but I couldn't have done
any of this stuff

without you
showing me the way.

I'm just happy to help.

Now, let's
get outta here.

Gramma needs
her night bath.

[grunting]

[grunting]

-[grunts]
-[grunting]

[both] Phew!

I can't believe it!

Yeah, it looks...

...exactly the same
as before. Hmm.

Well, it might not be
any better,

but at least
it's not any worse!

[clock chiming]

-[gasps] Gramma!
-[gasps] Ma!

Hey, lazy bones!
We're home!

Oh, uh, [chuckles]
hey, Ma!

How'd you, uh,

how'd your
Big City tour go?

[grunts, chomps]

[giggles]

The tour went
just dandy.

Tilly's got me on a kick
of tryin' new things.

So you know what?

After I take my night bath,

I'll finally let you
renovate the bathroom.

How's that sound?

-Huh?!
-[spits]

Whoo-hoo!
Finally here!

Remy! You're just in time
for laundry basket sledding!

[clucks]

Never mind. Someone
won't cooperate.

Sorry I was late, Cricket.

[grunts] Yeah,
where you been?

I had an
adventure-packed day!

I went for tutoring,
violin lessons,

junior dance team,
survivalist camp,

jar decorating,

and went to see a doctor
about that rash!

And now, my parents say
I can stay until dinner time!

Well, it's dinner time!

See you later, Cricket!

What? Seriously?

Your parents always
keep you so busy.

Wish there was a way
we could hang out more.

Wait! Wait,
wait, wait!

Imagine, Remy,

If your family and my family
were best friends!

Hey, Remy's dad!
I cooked this burger
just the way you like it.

Thanks, Cricket's dad!

That's why we're BFFs.

[laughing] Buddy, ol' pal!

-[laughing]
-[laughing] Alice, catch!

[grunts, growling]

-[all laughing]
-Hey, everybody!

We should hang out all the time!

Even better!

We should all live
in our mansion!

[laughing]

-Oh, no.
-[all screaming]

[shudders] Why did I even
imagine that last part?

Getting our parents
to become friends sounds great!

But how can we do that?

Remy, let me
ask you something.

Do you're parents
like to eat food?

Dad! Help, I'm hurt real bad!
I need you!

[pants] What is it, Boy?!

Are you OK?!

Yeah, yeah,
I'm fine.

I wanted to get
your attention,

but didn't wanna
go lookin' for ya.

Anyway, can Remy's parents
come over for dinner?

Please, Dad!
Please, Dad! Please!

I suppose it would be nice
to meet the Remingtons!

I'll give 'em a call.

[grunts, sighs]

Now we just
sit back, relax,

and wait for our parents
to become super best friends.

[Bill] That's right,
Mrs. Remington!

Dinner at our place tonight.

Oh, you don't have
to bring anything!

[chomps]

We got plenty of food.

♪ A-brush, brush,
brushing the pig ♪

[Gramma] Where are my clothes?!

I can't find one shred
of clothing to cover my body!

Whatever.
I'm coming out.

[wincing] Are you sure
this dinner's a good idea?

Our families are
pretty different.

It's a great idea!

Opposites attract!

Take us, for example.

I'm bold, funny,
and timely,

-and you're the opposite!
-I guess so.

If our families are even
more different than we are,

the attraction
will be even stronger!

That's science.

Yeah!
Maybe you're right.

Good news, boys.

The Remingtons are dining
with us, tonight!

-Yes!
-But, um,

Maybe Cricket's gramma
needs to get dressed first.

Ma! What are you doin'?!

[Gramma] You ain't
gonna body shame me!

Ooo, this is it, Remy.

After tonight,
we'll be inseparable!

We can finally start
that book club

I'm always talking about!

Maybe, Remy. Maybe.

[helicopter whirling]

It's your parents!

[Bill] What in the...

They have a helicopter?

Geez O Petes...

Touchdown! Think fast!

[all gasp]

Aah! Sorry!

The Greens!

Thanks for inviting us
to dinner.

Well, that was
quite the entrance.

Russell and I are so excited to
finally meet the Green family.

We've heard so much
from our Remy.

Mom, look at
the cool goat!

Ooh! How sweet.

Wait a minute. Don't I
know you from the TV?

You played for the
Big City Bengals!

[laughs]
Yup! That's me!

Always nice
to meet a fan.

Well... I'm a fan of the
Rain County Roosters.

A Roosters fan, huh?

Somebody better
keep us apart!

[laughing]
Here you go.

You just wrote,
"I'm number one."

Yup.

I brought these flowers
for your wife.

Will she be joining us?

Uh, no. [chuckles]
Long story.

But these are lovely!
Thank you.

Uh, [stammering]
Oh, dear. The, um...

Oh, my goodness!

[struggling]
Don't... eat 'em!

I think they're
becoming friends!

Astute observation
as always, Remy.

I think they're
getting along great.

-[goat cries]
-Still petty. [chuckles]

[chuckles] Well, we're certainly
in for a fun evening.

All right, everyone.

Please gather
in the living room

for the pre-dinner
entertainment.

Howdy, folks! Please put
your hands together

for the comedy stylings of...

Tilly Green!

[chicken clucking]

Chickens, am I right?

The way they're always going,

scratch-scratch, peck-peck.

[giggling]

Scratch.

[laughing]

Oh! It's so true!

I don't get it.

Why don't you tell
one of your jokes?

Oh! Great idea.

[clears throat]
I've got a good one!

I always appreciate
a fellow comedian!

[clears throat]
So, I'm a lawyer,

and I have a client
who's an orthodontist,

but he wants
a new fee structure

because I bill him
for too many hours.

So, I said,
"Why don't we use
a prepaid arrangement?

That way, both of us
can work on 'retainers'!"

-[laughing]
-Boo!

Oh! I guess I didn't
consider my audience.

No, no. It was very funny.

I'm just... laughing up here.

Well, comedy's hard.
How 'bout some music?

Introducing the classical
stylings of Remy Remington!

[violin music]

[slapping]

And accompanying him--
Cricket Green!
Professional pig player!

[oink]

This sounds awful.

Don't worry! Remy'll
get better with practice.

We weren't
talking about Remy.

Oh. Well, pardon me,
but my son plays the pig
beautifully.

Cricket!
They're arguing.

Drown 'em out with music.

-Pig solo!
-[screeching]

-[all grunting]
-[screeching]

Maybe we should get going.

-No-no-no-no-no!
It's dinner time!
-Come on! Yay!

-Come on, let's go eat dinner!
Yay! This'll be fun!
-Yay, dinner!

[clears throat] Oh, uh, just
realized there's no napkins.

I'll be right back.

Alice, this meatloaf
is really...

...well done.

Thank you. You know,
I was just thinking

about that game in '09
when you fumbled the ball

and cost your team
the championship.

-I'd say that was also
"well done."
-[growling]

Hey, look what I found
when I was getting
the napkins!

Rashida's beautiful flowers.

Bill, the flowers are ruined.
Just throw them out.

Well, I think they
make the table look nice.

Cricket,
can I talk to you?

Sure.
Step into my office.

This is terrible!

We had this dinner
to make our parents friends,

but they're becoming enemies!

And enemies don't let
their kids hang out together.

Oh, my gosh.
You're right!

Well, since we're
getting fancy,

how 'bout a little
candle light?

So this is
upscale dining.

Very regal.

Listen, Bill,

you really don't have to go
through all this trouble.

No, no. I know y'all
are used to nice things.

Yes, well, tonight
we don't need it to be nice.

Oh, really? Well, I'm just
tryin' to be hospitable.

That's fine,
but it's not necessary.

[Bill grunting]

[all scream]

Remy, we gotta
find a way to fix this

before this whole night
goes down in flames!

[Bill grunting]

[grunts]

Hmm!

[gasps] Hmm.

This is bad.
If we don't fix this,

we might never
see each other again.

I got one last idea, Remy.

Hey!

How 'bout we play a fun game?

What kind of game?

I bet Russell would love
a game of football!

Oh, I'm in if you are!

You've got yourself a game.

I was thinking more
along the lines of...

charades or something.

Oh, look,
it's raining.

We should probably
go back inside.

-So, what are
the ground rules?
-[crack]

There are no rules.

No! No. How 'bout
touch football?

-[Bill] Deal.
-And all the other rules
of football apply.

Fine.

[whistles]

I can't wait to see

what kind of moves
you think you got, Russel!

Whatever they are,
they can't be as bad

as your meatloaf!

-Hike!
-Hike!

[panting]

[panting, grunts]

You ain't catching me!

-[Gramma grunts]
-[whistle]

No one insults my cookin'!

Hey! I thought we were
playing touch football!

Technically,
she did touch you.

Touched you
right to the ground.

Ha!

Hey! I got the ball!

-Yah!
-[grunts]

How's that for fancy?

[moans]

Ooo, this ain't good.

[grunting]

(slo-mo) [pained grunt]

[whistles]

[panting, grunts]

[grunts, screams]

-[grunts]
-Aah!

[whistles]

[panting, grimaces]

[all screaming]

-Aah! Remy!
-Cricket!

[screaming]

[whistling]

[grunts] Cricket!

You OK, bud?

[gasps]
This is a nightmare.

You gotta talk to your parents
and get them to stop.

My parents?!
Your dad and gramma

don't know how
to treat their guests!

And it's like
you guys have no respect
for our hospitality!

We're charming as heck!

You know what? I was wrong!

Opposites
don't attract.

Everyone huddle up.

This is our last chance
to win this thing.

Let's show those
rich snobs what we can do.

-Come on, team!
-Let's show them what it means

to be a Remington!

-[whistles]
-Play ball!

[panting]
[grunts]

[growls]

[growls]

Get 'em, Cricket!

Show 'em what a Green can do!

[screaming]

-You can win this!
-Yah!

[screaming]

-Get 'em, Cricket! Get 'em boy!
-[shouting]

-Yeah! Rip his face off, Son!
-[shouting]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[both screaming]

Why'd you stop
playing the game?

What is going on?

All evenin', we've been tryin'

to make everyone get along.

But it was a disaster!

We don't wanna be on
separate teams.

We're friends!

Even if you guys aren't.

I hate to say it,
but the boys are right.

We haven't been very
hospitable tonight.

You guys have so much,
and I was a bit intimidated.

Intimidated by us?

Remy is always talking about
how much he loves it
over here.

I guess we were
a bit jealous.

Well, even though we didn't
get along great tonight,

at least our kids do.

Hey, good game.

Good dinner.

[all] Good dinner.
Good dinner. Good dinner.

Good dinner.

Until next time,
Green Family!

Well, it got
a little crazy there,

but thank you for setting up
this dinner.

It's always good
to get another perspective.

Yeah, yeah. Check out
this perspective.

Touchdown! We win!

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got
Bit by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch
And scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Bit by a frog
Got a rash on my leg ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
At seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪