09x09 - Back to Earth

[bunniefuu]

Looking out at this time would be a
catastrophe, in my opinion.

Your grades are good, in some cases excellent.

You have only two more semesters to go.

And may I say, Mr. Douglas, that a degree
these days, especially in the

aeroengineering field, is absolutely essential.

Mr. Walters, I have a family to feed.

Lots of our students have families, Mr. Douglas.

I know, but, well, I got this one in sort
of a package deal.

One day there were two of us, the next day there were five.

Five?

Triplets.

And there's no room in my father's house
for all my brothers and my uncle and us.

We even had to move our dresser out in the
hall to make room for the bassinets.

Have you discussed any of this with your family?

Not yet.

I thought I'd withdraw first, and that way
they can't talk me out of it.

And that way you've also done them the discredit of
locking them out of your thoughts and out of your life.

Mr. Walters, I've simply got to bring in enough
money to live a separate life in a separate house.

I just can't do that and go to college at the same time.

The word on that door out there says
counselor, Mr. Douglas.

That's why you came to me.

And I counsel you to wait, talk,
ponder, and above all, endure.

And if you still come to the same decision,
come to see me again before you do anything.

And don't get stiff-necked about taking an
assist from your father.

From what you tell me, he's a fine man.

And parents want to help.

Good luck to you, Rick.

Thanks, Mr. Walters.

For the moment, I'll wait, talk, ponder, and endure.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, good.

Are you the one that's been calling SLO?

No.

Where's Kate?

The phone company must think we're spies or something.

Just look at this bill.

MSG and UN and over here.

SP charges in here.

SLO.

Four dollars and 20 cents.

It'd take a man of Harry to figure it out.

Is Katie upstairs?

If you're the one that's been hitting your
dad for phone calls to SLO, spit it out.

Any long-distance phone calls I make, I pay for.

That's what you think.

Your dad has been picking up the tab on
more things around here than you know of.

Like what?

Oh, like extra phone bills.

Extra phone bills, extra food,
extra gas bills, extra everything.

But I'm not letting him pick up 422-SLO.

Hey, does this feel dry to you?

Look at this place.

What's wrong with it?

Oh, it looks like we just fought a battle and surrendered.

What do you mean, the diaper?

Well, Uncle Charley's dryer broke down.

Something's wrong, honey.

What is it?

I tried to quit school today.

Counselor talked me out of it.

I came home and Uncle Charley talked me
right back into it again.

You tried to quit school?

Without even telling me?

Katie, we can't go on like this.

Five of us living in a room meant for two.

Dad secretly picking up a lot of our expenses.

Don't you feel a little bit weird when you have
to go out in the hall just to get a pair of stockings?

No.

Because I'm waiting for my husband to graduate and
get his degree and find me a house to live in with my boys.

I can wait for that.

You're absolutely sure?

I'm absolutely sure.

Oh, it's a thing that you carry around and
you hit with a mallet and it sounds like bells.

It's for parades.

Didn't you tell them you play guitar and clarinet?

Sure.

But they don't use guitars in orchestras.

My clarinet's got a crack in it.

So they want me to play the glockenspiel.

I guess I'll wait for Dad to come home and
see what he says.

Don't corner him before I get at it.

He's got to solve the Sordell-Grimes deal.

Come on, hold it, you guys.

I've got to get to him first about this SLO bit.

Hi, everybody.

Hi.

I'm going to have to skip dinner tonight.

I've got a deadline.

I've got to finish this thing by 10 O 'clock.

Oh, and they're sending a
messenger out to pick it up, so don't

anybody tell them they've got the wrong house or anything.

Maybe somebody could send me up a sandwich
and a glass of milk, huh?

Poor Dad.

He's so busy trying to feed all of us, he
doesn't have time to eat his own dinner.

Honey!

Wait, I didn't mean it the way it sounded.

Rob, wait, honey!

Who knows?

But you notice they didn't insult each
other until it was time to do the dishes.

Here they are.

Mr. Douglas said to take them straight to
the guy without any detours.

Well, hey, you two realize you've been out
walking around for almost three hours?

Three hours?

Are the boys all right?

Well, with me here, how else could they be?

Excuse me, Uncle Charley.

I said they were okay.

Where are you going?

Katie and I have had a long talk,
and we've come to a decision.

Yeah, well, by the look on her face, I
don't think she likes the decision you came to.

Is Dad upstairs?

Yeah, only he's beat.

I told him to lie down.

Hey, Robbie, you hear me?

Well, what's the big decision?

We're moving out.

Hey, what's going on here?

I don't know.

Dad's taking a shower.

We want to be sure to get him when he comes out.

I'm first and Chip's second.

If you want to talk to Dad, you're after Chip.

Great.

Look, honey, they don't make a difference.

But where we live isn't on their minds at all.

Katie, I don't want to go over all this again.

There's just not enough room for us here.

I've got to quit school and make enough
money for us to live someplace else.

It's that simple.

One, two, three.

Have you thought of how your dad will feel?

Of course I have.

He'd be the first to understand.

The line's down to just Chip.

I'm next.

Can't you see the irony of the whole thing?

Rob, do you want to move because there's no room?

Or do you resent your dad still being sort
of head of the house?

Now, Katie, don't go psychological on me.

What's so psychological about a guy hating you, Dad?

Well, Chip, haven't you ever disliked
someone the first time you met them and

then have them turn out to be a good friend later?

No.

Well, you will after you've lived long enough.

So why don't you put up with this
wh*re-bell Grimes and... wh*re-bell Grimes.

Ernie, I thought we settled your problem.

We did.

I'm going to fix the crack in my clarinet.

Well, then, uh...

Oh, I just thought I'd stick around and hear what you
figure out after Uncle Charley tells us to bell people.

Well, now, you know how I feel about belting people.

Well, fellas, it's, uh, been a long evening, and,
uh, there's something I want to talk to Robbie about.

Well, there's something he wants to talk to you about, too.

Oh, fine.

And I'll just tell him the truth, that we're
moving out as soon as I can get a job.

And it has nothing to do with who's boss in what house.

Maybe I can go to night school and get my degree.

Well, hi, Dad.

Hi.

The boys mentioned Rob wanted to talk to you.

Yeah, they said... I'll tell you something about it.

Kids, I... Dad, before you start whatever
you're going to say, I have something to tell you.

Oh, Rob, can it wait?

Honey, I don't see any sense in putting it off.

Rob, you can wait a minute, can't it?

I mean, there's something I want to talk to you about.

Just look at this room.

Now, you've got the dresser out in the hall, and...

What I'm trying to say is you can't go on living like this.

So you're just going to have to move out.

Move out?

Well, not out of the house.

Out of the house, of course, just out of the room.

I've got some plans I want to talk to you about.

So have I, Dad.

I'm leaving school, and Katie and I are
moving out of the house.

You are?

Rob, please let Dad tell us his plans.

No, Kate.

And, Dad, I've been too busy to notice, but
I'm not really pulling my weight around here.

Oh, now, Rob... Please, let me
go all the way through this, Dad.

Now, the job at the drive-in just doesn't pay
enough to actually help with the budget around here.

And, uh, well, school takes up too much
time for me to go out and get a regular job.

And, we kind of got hit right between the
eyes with three babies instead of one.

We wouldn't have it any other way.

Rob's trying to say that...

that you're carrying too much of the burden.

But if a family's together and they're
happy, who counts money?

Rob, you... you really mean you're
thinking of dropping out of school?

Yes.

I have to.

I know what you're thinking, Dad,
that a degree is essential these days.

But I'm rapidly losing that corny old
commodity, self-respect.

You know, if we sat down and worked out what you
bring in from your job, I'll bet you more than pay your way.

But I... I guess I'm talking like a father instead of...
whatever it is I'm supposed to talk to on a case like this.

Well, uh, whatever you, uh, kids decide
is, uh, is fine with me.

Good night.

That makes two of us.

That husband of yours is a crackpot.

You know that, don't you?

I know.

But he's a sweet crackpot.

Yeah, well, that sweet crackpot of yours
has got his father in the stew.

I hope that makes him happy.

Did Dad say anything about last night?

You know that Steve wouldn't complain.

But he's walking around with them St. Bernard
eyes, and that means he ain't about to do a poker.

Poor Dad.

You know, I know... He never got a chance
to tell us what sort of plans he had made.

Well, he was going to tear
down a couple of walls, and you'd

have your own little apartment,
sort of, bath and everything.

Well, how wonderful.

Yeah, but Robbie never even gave him a chance to spill it.

Oh, by the way, where's that sweet little
crackpot of yours now?

Withdrawing from school.

And the word on that door out there says counselor.

That's why I'm here.

I know.

You said that before.

Oh, I did?

I find myself getting hooked on a phrase or speech pattern.

It destroys my effectiveness.

At any rate, I counsel you to wait until
the weekend is over.

Sometimes the pressures of school...
Mr. Walters, I'd like to withdraw today.

Then why did you come to me?

You could have gone right to the front
office and withdrawn.

I'll tell you why you came here.

You really don't want to leave your father's house.

You want someone to force you to remain.

That's not true.

I came here to find out what credits I'll
need to finish my courses at a later date.

And maybe take some night classes.

You gave me that information and that's it.

Then there's nothing I can do.

I'm afraid not.

Thanks for trying, though.

It's my job.

But I know when I'm licked.

Good luck to you, Rob.

Thanks, Mr. Walters.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Hello, Mary.

Wendell Walters.

Look, there's a kid coming down to your office to withdraw.

Robert Douglas.

Now, make it tough.

Tell him you can't have his papers ready till Monday.

Bye.

Hi.

Oh, honey, I was so worried about you.

Well, did you withdraw from school?

Yes.

You ought to get your money back on that head of yours.

It ain't working.

You actually did it.

I had to.

You know why.

I'll have my papers ready on Monday,
and then you and I are going house hunting.

The papers aren't ready?

The office was a little jammed today, but they'll be
ready Monday, so don't get your hopes up, honey.

Don't worry.

My hopes aren't up.

And even after I told you about having our own little
apartment right here in this house, you still want to move out?

I don't want to move out, Kate.

Have you ever looked at it from Dad's viewpoint?

Dad's viewpoint?

He wants us to stay.

He probably does, but it's more out of
habit than anything else.

Honey, no matter what anybody else says,
I'm just not going to move out.

I'm not pulling my weight around here financially.

Uncle Charley's right.

Our food bill overlaps the rest of the family.

It goes for the utilities and the house payment as well.

Now, Dad's carrying a big load.

You ever thought of that?

I suppose that's true.

I guess there are times when he gets tired.

Right.

Let's get some sleep, okay?

If the boys get rest or something,
I'm not so sure I'll be able to wake up.

They'll see to it.

Maybe you're right about Dad.

I just never thought of it that way.

I know I'm right.

Good night.

Hey, there.

Hey, hey, hey, get that out.

I know what you want.

Shh.

How are we?

Huh?

Shh.

Okay.

I'll get you some milk, okay?

Just take it easy, old boy.

Be ready in a minute.

We'll check it, huh?

Right.

You'll be one up in the others,
but we won't tell them, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Honey?

Honey?

Dear.

Something wrong?

No.

As a matter of fact, everything's fine.

Why are you awake?

I was just thinking how weird it is.

You think you've got everything figured out.

You think you've covered every little item.

And then something happens.

You find out.

Not that you haven't touched all the bases.

Honey, how would you like to stay here
after all, until I graduate?

What?

I said I think we'll take Dad up on that
idea of a bigger room after all.

What changed your mind?

You been talking to Dad?

Yeah, in a way.

But he never said a word.

What?

Shh, shh, pretend you're asleep.

Well, you went right to sleep, didn't you?

There you are.

Why, aren't you too?

There.

Get some milk in there.

See what I mean?

Hi, Uncle Charley.

Hi.

Well, how'd they do?

One's almost empty, two or three quarters.

Well, I guarantee you the one that's
almost empty is Little Charley's.

Right, he's a little pig.

Yeah, well, it all depends upon the way you look at it.

Now, I see Little Charley as having a quick imagination.

Metabolism and superior general health.

And that's how come he eats more than the others.

And your father has made this arrangement
for you to remain on?

He said that by building on the extra room and
the bath, he's adding to the value of the property.

Of course.

But I'm interested in your change of thought.

What occasioned it?

Well, let's just say that I left a very
human element out of my thinking.

Well, good luck to you, Rob.

Thanks, Mr. Walters.

What a fortunate state of events that your
papers were delayed.

You might at this very moment be a free agent,
trudging the streets in search of employment.

Fate must have stepped in.

Hey, honey.

Hi.

Look, Dad drew up some plans.

We just have to knock out one wall right here, and then
we add a section here, another section here, and that's it.

Now, what do you think of this, kid?

I put the bathroom here.

And then you go through this door,
and the room widens out for the babies.

And then I put a phone Jack here in case
you kids want your own phone.

That's your own expense, of course.

Hey, hold it.

Something just came to me.

Now that I got you all together, solve the mystery.

What's SLO, and why are we paying $4.20
extra on the phone bill for it?

Oh, SLO stands for San Luis Obispo, Charlie.

I made a call to one of our feeder plants
up there last month.

San Luis Obispo.

San Luis Obispo.

San Luis must mean St. Louis.

And Obispo, in Spanish, must mean Missouri.

The kids can have a little playtime over here.