09x13 - The New Room

[bunniefuu]

.. header here so as
not to weaken the wall structurally.

Well, then, uh, where's the bathroom going to go?

Only one place for the bathroom, young fella.

Right here.

But, uh, Mr. Storkman, we'd, uh,
sort of plan on having it over here.

No.

Right here.

Now, about the alcove for the babies, here.

But, uh, they wouldn't get the morning sun there.

Now, the closet here, sliding doors, of course.

I don't think sliding doors.

Uh, bathroom door, uh, light fixtures here.

We didn't want light fixtures.

Oh, uh, Katie, uh, Mr. Storkman's here.

We're talking about the plans for the room upstairs.

Uh, this is my wife, Katie.

Mrs. Hello.

Katie, uh, Mr. Storkman's made a few
changes in the plans we talked about.

Uh, well, for instance, the, uh, bathroom
is going to be here instead of here.

Well, we don't want the bathroom there.

Katie, it's a matter of using the existing header.

And the, the baby's alcove goes here
instead of over here by the window.

It's a matter of strength, Kate, uh, structural strength.

Well, I want the babies near the morning sun.

You understand, don't you?

Of course.

I got nine kids myself.

Now, how about the sliding doors for the closet?

Oh, I don't think so, Mr. Storkman.

Well, they were... They were Rumble.

Rumble?

Oh, yes, and that would wake up the babies.

Couldn't we have an ordinary closet door that opens?

Easiest thing in the world.

Fine.

And now, we're not going to have any light
fixtures, are we?

Well, Mr. Storkman had two.

One of them here, and one of them...
You prefer plugs and lamps only, perhaps.

Perfect idea.

Oh, I'm being paged.

It must be wonderful to be a man and
understand things like this.

Excuse me.

Fine, woman.

Reminds me of my wife, always coming up with good ideas.

Well, gentlemen, I start as soon as I get the materials.

Well, that's fine, Mr. Storkman.

How soon do you think that'll be?

As soon as I get the materials, Mr. Douglas.

Well, the thing is, I'm going out of town
tomorrow for a while, and Katie and Robbie

and the babies will be moving into my room
while you work on the nursery.

So the sooner you get started, the better.

You can lead a horse to water, you know, but you
can't make a man a room to a house without materials.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Did you get the feeling that we came out
second best in that exchange?

Yeah, but we have our secret weapon.

Katie.

Is it a giant woodpecker or something?

Well, it's coming from our room.

Hey, what's going on?

Well, that's what we're about to find out.

What are you doing here, Mr. Storff?

It's 6.30 in the morning.

How did you even get in?

You have a faulty latch on the back of your car.

I locked the back door.

I let myself in.

I didn't want to wake anybody up.

Yeah, well, you got a funny way of showing.

Who is this man?

Look, Alice, I'll ask the question.

This is our uncle, Charley O'Casey.

This is Mr. Storffman.

I start when the materials come.

I told you that.

The materials came.

Those two boys shouldn't be out of bed.

Hold it.

Hold it.

Look, from here on in, you start work.

When this family gets up, 7.30, and I don't want
you barging through here without ringing the bell.

And right now, you don't slam on that wall anymore.

How do you expect me to remove the plaster?

With tweezers?

He means that you could start a little bit later.

It would at least give us some time to get
the babies up and fed.

Babies are not my concern.

That wall is.

I have a contract, and it stipulates that I have my rights.

What?

What?

What's going on?

Oh, he says he has to knock down the wall, and he
has contractual rights, and a lot of other nonsense.

Morning, Mrs. Hello, Mr. Storford.

Could you hold off pounding on the wall?

The boys are still asleep.

Perhaps if I just remove the plaster,
I've already knocked loose.

That's a wonderful idea.

Thank you.

Hey.

Where are you going with that junk?

Hey, I asked you a question.

Where are you going with that junk?

Hey, you.

Okay, Charlotte, I got you cornered now.

I asked you a question, and by thunder,
you're going to answer it.

I asked you a question, and by thunder,

you're going to answer it.

I was not too chicken to jump off that lumber pile.

It's just that my doctor says I have brittle bones.

Hey, I told you kids to stop playing in my
clean plaster sand.

We stopped.

And you walk right in here with your shoes on.

Those shoes are dirty.

Where were you kids brought up?

On a mountain?

They were brought up right here.

And haven't you got anything better to do
than holler at a couple of kids?

Do you want to play in the sand?

I got to mix that sand and it can't have mud in it.

And they can't climb all over my lumber either.

Yeah, well, what paper head told you to dump
your lumber right in the middle of our driveway?

Where do you expect to put lumber?

In the parlor?

No, but I expected somebody to notice that
they were blocking off Robbie's car.

That ain't my lookout.

I got to have my lumber where I can get at it.

Look, we haven't got a jumping car.

We drive a car and we can't drive it through a woodpile.

Then I suggest you don't drive it until
the room is finished.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not sure I'll live that long.

Oh, Uncle Charley, can I get anything for you at the store?

Look, unless your car's got a grasshopper
attachment, forget driving to the store.

Oh, is the lumber in the way?

I'll tell you what we can do, missus.

If these boys will give me a hand,
we can move it to one side.

Thank you, missus.

Come along, fellas.

Aren't you going to help, Uncle Charley?

Huh?

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, I don't know how much more of
this I can stand, Steve.

He marches through my living room like he owns the joint.

And he's always telling the kids off.

He is, huh?

What does he say, Johnny?

Well, you know, telling them what they're
doing, not the playing they're saying.

I tell you, the man's not civilized.

Well, aside from all that, Charley,
how's the room coming along?

Well, he's not setting a record, but he's got the wall out.

Hey, you knocked my cleaning basket over.

Bad place for a cleaning basket.

Did you hear that, Steve?

Well, Charley, he's just one of those
independent people, and you might as well

make up your mind you're going to have to
live with it for a while.

Hold it.

Here he comes again.

He walked right past my cleaning basket
without picking it up.

Charlie, you're making too much of the whole
thing, and you're forgetting your secret weapon.

Yeah, he just rolls over and plays dead
when Katie's around.

Maybe you're right, Steve.

I'll make her the go-between and quit
giving myself an ulcer.

Well, so long.

There we go.

Uncle Charley, we decided to take the business.

He knocked over my cleaning basket.

You have created beautiful babies, missus.

Hello, babies.

You are lucky to have such a mama.

They like you, Mr. Storfen.

I'm glad.

Tell them I'm building them a room.

You taking the little guys for a walk?

Well, we decided that Katie would stay at her
grandmother's with the babies until the room is finished.

Too much dust and noise, Uncle Charley.

We'll be back after the room.

Are you all right, Uncle Charley?

Yes, well, for a guy that just got stabbed in the back.

Thank you.

Well, Uncle Charley, watch it.

You're splashing.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

When is Mr. Storfman going to be through
building that extra room?

Yeah, man, he thinks he's running this house.

Today he told me to get a haircut.

And he tried to throw my tennis shoes away.

Yeah, and now that Katie's over at her
grandmother's, well, Mr. Storfman thinks he's Napoleon.

He wants us to get rid of tr*mp because
his hair gets in the paint.

Now, look, you guys, I know that Mr. Storfman
is a difficult man, but he's a good workman.

We'll just have to put up with him.

Yeah, well, you got tomorrow off.

I want to hear you say that tomorrow night.

If you're here, you'll hear it.

Uh, if there's any more stuff to go
upstairs, would you mind using the front door?

It's shorter for you.

And, uh, there's less wear and tear on the
rest of the room.

Starkman said to bring it in through the kitchen.

Excuse me, would you mind using the front door next time?

It's closer to the stairs and also... The
contractor says for us to go in and out the back way.

I see that you get it right.

Goodbye.

Excuse me, but... I sent us the wrong paint.

Oh, that's too bad.

You spell it out for them, you tell them on the
phone, and I send you the wrong paint anyway.

Yeah.

The plumber is here and the tile man, too.

The plumber doesn't know his business.

You don't come out with this much
equipment left over if you know your business.

Mr... My regular man is in Yellowstone.

Excuse me, but... But, uh, you're
the man in charge here, right?

I mean, you contracted the job?

Correct.

That is correct.

And you're worried about these leftover pipes.

Don't you worry.

You're not gonna be charged for somebody else's mistakes.

No, no, it isn't that.

I was just wondering if you'd tell your
workmen to use the front door instead of

tracking all their stuff through the living room.

The front door is only three feet from the stairs.

The materials are closer to the back.

Well, sure, but they're tracking plaster
and dirt through the entire room.

What's more important, Mr. Douglas?

A little dirt on the rug or a man's back?

What a time for that guy to go to Yellowstone.

I think it's just as possible...
You had to see that stupid geyser.

I could have stuck with too much pipe.

They sent me the wrong paint.

I don't know how I keep my sunny disposition.

Dad, you're not getting the whole picture.

Now, I'm trying to be objective about this
thing, but this guy is just getting to be too much.

But isn't this the day he said he was going to finish?

Yeah.

Yeah, but the room isn't painted yet.

Come on, let me talk to him, will you?

Hey, Steve, you want my opinion?

Uh, Charley, uh, I think I'm getting a
very clear picture of the whole thing.

Now, you're all going to just have to learn to relax.

After all, he's not a young man, and,
uh... Steve, he's clobbering up our lives.

Listen, Steve, it's... It's easy for you to sit
there in Chicago and tell us to take it easy.

Hello.

I'm David Storffman.

Is my father here?

No, he isn't.

We haven't seen him for a couple of hours.

The guy is a menace, Steve.

Like they say in vaudeville, he's got an even disposition.

Always miserable.

Attila the Hun is more popular around
here than... Hold it down, you guys.

Mr. Storffman's son is here looking for him.

Oh, interesting developments is happening.

I'll call you later.

Come on in.

Didn't he come home?

No, he didn't.

That's why we're worried.

We can usually set our watches by him.

When is the last time you guys saw Mr. Storffman?

Gaia?

A couple hours ago.

He was hollering about some rotten paint company.

Telling me never to leave junk up to other people.

Uh, Chip?

Same deal.

He was out in the driveway yelling at Gordon.

What about you, Uncle Charlie?

When I came home from the market, I didn't see him.

He must have taken off.

You know, he never says goodbye, Danny.

He never says goodbye, buddy.

Yes, that's, uh, Pop's way.

Well, I'm sorry I bothered you.

Hello?

Yeah, he's here.

It's for him.

Just a minute.

Uh, telephone for you, David.

Thank you.

It's a kid for you.

Hello?

Uh, no, he isn't here.

There's no point in bawling, Willie.

We'll find him.

No, he hasn't been gone long enough to call the police.

Look, tell Carl and Kurt and Everett I
said to get to bed, have Les clean up the

dishes, and, uh, tell Paul to put a plate
in the oven for Pop when we find it.

All right?

Okay, now take it easy.

All right.

Sounds like you have a lot of boys.

Nine.

Wow.

We lost our mother and our only sister a few years ago.

May I use your phone?

Sure, go ahead.

Well, Pop's been a pigeon for girls ever since.

Hello?

Reverend, this is David Storfman.

Has my father been by tonight?

No, nothing serious, just that he hasn't come home yet.

Fine, yes.

All right, thank you.

Well, he's not at the church.

Is he supposed to be?

Well, he goes by once in a while.

He goes by once in a while to say a prayer
for Mama and Donna.

Uh, are you sure he didn't say anything
before he left tonight?

Only that he had promised my wife that the
room would be finished today.

And also, he got quite angry with the paint company.

And I think he had a fight with the painter, too.

That's Pop.

He runs the house like an army barracks,
but when he doesn't show up, the kids panic.

Well, I'm going to cruise around and see
if I can spot that beat-up truck of his.

What a time for this to happen.

My wife's going to have a baby any minute.

Maybe it'll be a girl.

No, I don't think so.

My oldest brother has four kids, all boys.

I have two.

Both boys.

You all live in the same house?

Yeah, until we get out of college.

Well, thank you again, and let me know if
you hear anything.

Hey, Alice.

Jazz, speak to me.

Hey.

Does Uncle Charley know that he's just like Mr. Storfman?

Nope.

Something tells me we better not tell either one of them.

Yeah.

Well, lots of people don't like what they
see in the mirror.

You know, Chip, that's a fairly sophisticated thought.

Yeah, once in a while I get lucky.

Night.

Night, Rob.

Night.

What's that smell?

That smells like paint.

It smells like paint.

Who's painting?

There's a light coming from under the door.

You know, Scrooge's truck is parked in our
driveway, way in the back, out of sight.

Mr. Storfman, do you know what... I told
the missus I would finish the room tonight.

I will finish the room tonight.

And I don't like a lot of people gawking at me.

They don't like me when I work.

Listen, Rembrandt, Mr. Storfman, I'll tell my wife.

She'll be pleased.

Out, out, out.

I don't like that.

Out, out, out.

Come on, Pete.

Oh, I'm going to trip.

Where are we going?

No peeking.

Oh, here, to your left.

Are you ready?

Uh-huh.

Go.

Oh, look.

Oh, honey, it's wonderful.

Oh, Dad.

Mr. Storfman.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Glad you like it, Mrs. I like it.

I love it.

Anything you don't like, Mrs., you just call Carl Storfman.

Thank you.

Honey, we have our own little apartment.

I know.

Did you see how we can keep the babies
near the morning sun?

Look who just wandered by with a little news.

Hey, Steve, this is David Storfman.

Hello, David.

How do you do, sir?

He's got something he wants to tell his dad.

I didn't want to tell you on the phone, Pop.

Tell me of what?

Your grandfather again.

So?

It's a girl, Papa.

So?

I...

We called her Maria, Papa.

For Mama.

Maria.

Don't you want to see her, Papa?

My son, he just told me that.

We heard, Mr. Storfman.

Congratulations.

How do you like that?

I can't stand the guy, and he almost had me bawling.

I like him.

I can imagine what he's doing to me.

Dad, do you know any jokes before everybody breaks down?

No jokes, Rob.

But you know, I have a feeling Mr.
Storfman's new granddaughter, Maria,

is going to be the best spoiled little girl you ever saw.

Mr. Storfman said we should bring the babies up
here instead of holding them on our laps down there.

Yeah.

He says little boys like us don't have any
sense of responsibility.

Well, back to normal.

I hate him again.

Come on, now.

I hate him again.

I hate him again.

I hate him again.

I hate him again.

I hate him again.

I hate him again.