04x29 - Scooped/Mulligan'd

[bunniefuu]

[♪ theme song playing]

♪ One, two...
One, two three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪

C'mon family!
We don't want to be late

for the Big City community meeting!

You heard her, people. Step on it!

[gasps] Ew! But don't step on that.

- [exclaims]
- Gross!

Folks should really clean up
after their dogs.

It has gotten worse lately.

That's the fifth one this block.

- [gasps in disgust]
- Sixth!

Man, don't these people know
I'm barefoot?

[pleadingly] Tilly, do you mind?

- [sighs] All right. Come here.
- [cheerfully] Yay!

[director] Greetings, valued members
of our community!

For this year's community
improvement campaign,

I challenge you
to think of your own ideas

to make our neighborhood
better for everyone.

Puttin' it all on us, huh?

Seems like a cop-out to me.

Oh, oh, over here!

I've got tons of ideas! Like--

I'm gonna stop you right there.

I've heard your ideas before, Cricket,

and I think you can help best
by not helping.

- "Don't do anything." Okay.
- Oh! I have an idea!

We could clean up all the, uh,

unsightly "pet leavings"
like we saw on the way over!

Oh, that's a wonderful idea...

for your father to help with.

See ya, suckers!

I dunno, Tilly. What if we did...
anything else?

I don't wanna pick up dog... "stuff."

But, Papa, you clean up
after Phoenix all the time!

It's different when it's your own dog.

Picking up after other people's feels...
disgusting and humiliating?

- [pleadingly] Please?
- But I, but--

[resigned sigh] Okay.

Yay!

Once people see the street
looking clean and beautiful,

it'll inspire them
to keep it that way.

Yeah, that all sounds great,
but Sue already gave me a task.

I gotta think of ideas not to do!

Help the community?
I'll start by feeding the elderly.

- [munching]
- Hey there, Alice!

- Got any community improvement ideas?
- Nope.

That's okay!
You can help me with my idea!

- Not interested! Ah--
- Ah! Thanks for volunteering!

Do you just hear
what you wanna hear?

[laughs] I did recently get a haircut!

Thanks for noticing!

[♪ comical instrumental music playing]

We're ready!

For the record, Tilly, I hate this.

Let our street beautification
mission commence!

Look, Papa! Our first opportunity!

- [Tilly] Catch!
- [grunts in disgust]

Nope, can't do this, I'm gone.

Oh, please, Papa.

I know this is a less-than-savory job,

but it doesn't have to be!
It's all in how you look at it.

[inhales] ♪ Oh ♪

♪ I know it's not exactly
to everyone's taste ♪

♪ Ridding sidewalks of animal waste ♪

♪ But you can help make
our neighborhood ♪

- ♪ Fantastic ♪
- ♪ Fantastic ♪

♪ All we gotta do is
wrap your hand in plastic ♪

- [sighs]
- ♪ And pick it up! ♪

♪ We're cleaning up the streets ♪

- ♪ Scoop it up! ♪
- Oh!

♪ So it won't get on your feet! ♪

- ♪ Bag it up! ♪
- [dogs howling]

♪ Toss it with an alley-oop! ♪

♪ Just keep it up ♪

♪ Scoop it up! ♪

♪ Bag up all this doggy stuff! ♪

Ugh! Can we get a bag over here?

You were right, Tilly!
This ain't so bad!

Something about doing good
just makes you feel good, you know?

More importantly,

we're showing people
that there's a better way!

And now we can simply turn around

and admire the clean street
free from dog--

- [both gasp]
- It's already back?

But how? Over there!

And here?

And right on a park bench?

I don't think
a dog made that one, Tilly.

[both shiver]

Well... like you said,

these are just more
opportunities to do good!

But nothing's changed!

The clean sidewalk
had no effect on people.

[dogs squeal distantly]

Hmm, perhaps I need
a direct approach.

Where are we going with all this junk?

- We're here!
- Here?

In the middle of this death trap?

What the heck are we even doing?

Building a parklet.

Just think how nice this place will look
with some landscaping and a cozy bench!

- [cars honk]
- A parklet? Is this really the best spot?

- You can't hear over the traffic...
- [cars honk]

- ...and this exhaust ...
- [coughs]

...is knocking years off my life.

The only upside is a car might lose
control and put us out of our misery.

[laughs] Oh, Alice, your sense of humor

is sure gonna make this work go fast.

[groans softly]

- Hello, Brett.
- Oh, hey, Tilly.

I was just taking my dogs out
to relieve themselves.

Yeah, they really took
a load off, didn't they?

[chuckles sheepishly]
Guess I forgot to bring a bag.

There seems to be
a lot of forgetfulness going around.

Now, lucky for you,
I have one right here.

[Brett] Sorry, Tilly.
I won't forget again.

See that, Papa? One heart
and mind already changed!

Now let's see what this one does.

[dog panting]

Payload has been dropped.

And he's leaving it?

Oh, no, you don't!

Okay, guess I'll just keep scooping.

[dog whimpering]

[sighs] Oh, man.

Stop! Sir, I believe
you're forgetting something?

Uh, what are you talking about?

The, uh, distasteful item
on the public walkway?

I happen to have a bag
I can provide you free of charge.

No, thanks. I don't need one...

'Cause I'm not picking that up.

[suspenseful sting]

But... You have to!

If you care so much,
why don't you do it?

[shouting] I have been!

Awesome. Keep up the good work.

[suspenseful sting]

- Huh?
- [panting]

[intensely] Pick it up.

What the... [grunts]

[both panting]

Smell ya later.

- [chuckles]
- [fence rattling]

[Tilly breathing angrily]

[whimpering]

[panickedly] Who is she?

[panting]

Huh?

I have your baggie.

♪ Scoop it up
So it won't get on your feet ♪

- You're crazy!
- [Tilly] You can't do this!

Tilly, what the heck
was that all about?

He wouldn't pick it up!
Even when I gave him a bag!

Well, sweetie, unfortunately,
some people are just like that.

Yeah, well, he's a real piece of--

Do not lower yourself to his level.

Oops, spotted another one. Duty calls.

♪ Scoop it up ♪ [scatting]

How do you get that kind of
person to do the right thing?

He'll just keep leaving messes
over and over again.

Unless...

someone teaches him a lesson.

Hmm.

[Cricket mumbling]

Tilly, what do you think of replacing
the subway with a sub sandwich?

- Terrible idea.
- Great! 'Cause I am not doing it!

[purring]

You're welcome, community!

While you may have bad ideas,
I have a good one.

Cricket, it appears
there are some people in this city

who refuse to clean up after their dogs.

And I need your help
to teach them a lesson.

[gasps] Are we gonna
hunt down some fools?

- You could say that, yes.
- Then I'm in!

- [bell jingling]
- [Tilly] All right, guys.

Make this place smell like a farm.

[cattle bellowing]

Very nice, Miss Brenda.

[sniffs] Ooh, ah, Melissa,
you have outdone yourself.

[pig snorting]

Oh, come on, Herbert.
I expected more from you.

Oh my! Look at what
these children are doing to this yard!

That's right! Gather 'round everyone,

and witness the consequences
of your actions!

The guy who lives here
wouldn't clean up after his dog.

Uh, so you brought over a cow
to bury his begonias?

No! We brought a cow,
and a pig, and a goat.

- That's horrible.
- You're horrible.

No, he's horrible! He didn't use a bag!

Then what, you followed him home?

[scoffs] No.

I chased him!

- What?
- She's a lunatic.

- How awful!
- What a creep!

- [bystanders clamoring]
- Mm-hm. Interesting.

Cricket, I think we may be
in the wrong here.

Mm-hm, mm-hm. I'm hearing it too.

Maybe we should get outta here.

- Go, go, go ,go ,go!
- [clamoring continues]

[grunts] This is the ugliest,
most pointless thing

I've ever had the misfortune
of being a part of.

- Can we leave now?
- [Sue] We're almost done!

It just needs one finishing touch.

- Come on already, let's just go home--
- And done!

- [Alice] "The Alice Green Parklet"?
- [tinkling]

- What?
- I'm dedicating this parklet

to you for all your help today.

My own parklet?

[sighs in relief] It's perfect.

[cars honking]

[loud crash]

Oh, hey, kids!

Looks like you two had
a long, fulfilling day

of giving back to your community!

Well, bye!

Take 'em home. I'll catch up.

- Sue, can we talk?
- Sure, Tilly.

But make it quick.
I'm about to punch out for the day,

and that's when "Community Sue" becomes
"Living-for-me Sue."

My community improvement project failed.
I did everything I could.

I tried to lead by example,
then I tried to be direct,

I even brought the hammer
of justice down on perpetrators.

Why didn't anyone
pick up after their dogs?

Tilly, you'll drive yourself crazy

worrying about
what everyone else does.

Sometimes you just have
to accept that what other people do

is out of your control.

Out of my control, huh?

You're right. I'll try--

Uh, what was that? I checked out.

It just went from 5:59
to me-time-o'clock.

Thanks, Sue.

Huh. The sidewalk here
is actually pretty clean.

Oh, hey, Tilly!

I was just walking Phoenix,

but I can't stop picking
up every mess I see.

It just makes me feel so darn good!

[gasps] Really? I guess I did
make a little difference.

- [Phoenix panting]
- Oop!

Looks like it's Phoenix's turn.
I'll just...

Uh-oh. I'm outta bags.

I won't say anything
if you don't say anything.

[panting]

[squashes]

[groans in disgust]

[Cricket grunting]

[grunting continues]

- [gasps]
- You blinked! I win.

No, I winked!
A wink ain't a blink, Tilly.

[Nancy] Are you serious?

But it's corn! Can't you find
another use for it?

[sighs] I see.

It's too bad it worked out this way.

What worked out which way?

I was supposed to sell
all of this season's corn crop

to the creamed corn factory.

Delicious, go on.

But apparently nobody wants
to eat the stuff anymore,

so they went out of business.
And I planted so much corn this season.

Wow!

[Cricket] I've never seen
a bounty so bountiful.

- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.

But it's gonna cost the farm big.

[Nick] Atencion!

I have an idea!

Oh, I bet you do, Dad.

Hey, what's with the sarcasm?

Kids, let me tell you
about the type of ideas

your Grandpa Nick used to have for me.

- Excuse me, ma'am!
- Oh, hello!

I'm just a law-abiding child
trying to pay for my bus fare,

but I don't have the proper change,

So... could you break a 20?

Of course, dear. Now, let's see...

Would you prefer small or large bills?

[young Nick] Ugh, I hate drawing hands.

Ah, well. It looks like
the real thing if you squint.

Dad! Dad! Your plan worked!

Ey, that's what I like to hear.

Keep up the good work, kid.
I'm proud of you.

Ah, you're always bringing up the past.

Well, I've changed, you know!

And so have I. Green Family Farms
is an above-board business.

My idea is above-board!

All's I'm suggesting
is a little U-Pick operation.

"You" pick? Who pick? Me pick?

Can it, Crick. It's when you open
your farm to the public

and they pay to pick your crops.

It's like a fun thing
or some crud like that.

Oh, a delightful and family-friendly
seasonal draw!

Wait... That's actually not a bad idea.

I mean, it would get our crops picked
and ensure a profit.

Dad, I'm not sure what your angle is,

- but we'll do the U-Pick...
- Okay.

But the entire operation
will have to be completely above-board!

- Okay.
- Cut the attitude, Dad.

- Okay?
- Don't say okay!

Cricket, Tilly, start making
posters for the highway,

'cause Green Family Farms
is open for U-Pick!

- [both] Okay!
- Hah!

Welcome road-weary highway travelers

to beautiful and
bounteous Green Family Farms!

Good morning! We will take
two adults, one child, please.

Oh! There's no admission fee,

just pay by the pound for what you pick.

Can't argue with that!
Which way to the farm activities?

Farm activities?
I didn't plan any of those.

But we have lots of corn...
that you can, uh, pick.

- [quietly] Help me out, kids.
- I have corn baskets!

- I'm out.
- We didn't drive all the way

from Middlesburg just for corn.

Well, uh, wait...

Actually, folks,
the corn maze is over yonder.

[Nick] And the petting zoo
is over yonder-er!

We also offer tractor rides! Go nuts, kid.

Back in.

Go have yourselves
some Green family fun.

Okay, Dad, I see what you're doing.

You set all this up so you
could charge extra for it.

Classic Mulligan scam.

I'm not chargin' them a dime.

It's to entice people to pick more!
Just tryin' to help out.

Hm. That's... very unlike you.

Yeah, well, like I said, I've changed!

You're making me feel weird about it.

Changed? Yeah, right.
I know you're up to something, Dad.

And I'm gonna figure it out.

C'mon in, folks.
Show these animals some love!

Ain't Miss Debbie sweet?

Who wants to snuggle a calf?

Excuse me, how much did my dad
charge you to get in here?

- Nothing. He said it was free.
- Why? Are we in trouble or something?

No, no, you're fine. Carry on.

Listen up, corn puffs!

- Isn't he sweet?
- Can it!

Now, if you want to avoid what we
in the industry call the "harvest hurts,"

you wanna use this technique that
I invented called the "Twist and Pull."

Step one, twist. And step two--

- Oh! Pull?
- Who's the expert here?

Get your free baskets!
They're great for collecting corns.

Hi, y'all, could you do me a favor
and check your pockets for your valuables?

What? Why?

Heh, just making sure
everything's above-board.

- [leaves rustling]
- Ah-ha!

- I've got you, Dad!
- [both gasp]

Carry on.

Step right up
and get your picture taken!

Bring a piece of the farm
back home with you!

[Nick] All right,
big smiles, everyone! Say...

- Nancy?
- [both] "Nancy"!

I knew I'd catch you in a scam!

How much you charging for pictures?

Nothing. I thought you only wanted
to charge for the U-Pick corn?

Oh, well then...

You're transferring money
from his Spend-Mo account to yours!

I don't have Spend-Mo account.

See? No scam, Nance.

You know,
you've been riding me all day.

You really don't trust me, do you?

To be fair,
you do have a track record.

I already told you, I've changed.

I'm tryna help out but...
Pfft, you know what?

I'm done. I'll be inside watching TV.

Unless you're scared I'll scam the remote.

Dad, wait. You're right.

You've consistently had good ideas

and we could really use your help.

- You mean it?
- Yeah, I do.

I saw a line forming
over at the weighing station.

Why don't you go
help folks check out?

Hey, you got it. Thanks, Nance.

All right, folks, let's
count up your corn hauls.

I don't like how that sounds.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[kid cheering]

Mom, Dad!

Forget about video games.
Let's go pick some corn!

I gotta hand it to your grandpa,

with all these side activities,

this U-Pick operation
is a total success!

Just look, there's a line
around the house!

I'll say. Folks can't get
enough of the petting zoo.

And our animals love being doted on.

And thanks to me, none of our customers
have the "harvest hurts."

Who knew corn weighed so much?

This didn't feel like 20 pounds
when I picked it.

Then again, I have been working out.

Hey, everyone! We're doin'
gangbusters business!

Keep up the good work, kid.
I'm proud of you!

- [echoing] Proud of you!
- [gasps, grunts]

What's the matter, Mama?

Plenty. Come with me!

[Nick] Nice pickin', sir!

Hey, do me a favor there, pal,
and read the number on the scale.

[rattling]

By gosh! It's 19 pounds!

Well, the cornier it is,
the heavier it is. 50 bucks.

He's overcharging them!
Ugh, he is running a scam!

And I let him bamboozle me into it,
just like the old days.

How did I fall for that?

Well, he is a professional con man.

And the first thing they do

is lull a gullible rube into
a false sense of security.

Oh, sorry, that was
my mind voice slippin' out.

I gotta make this right and get
the customers their money back.

But Grandpa ain't gonna
give that cash up freely.

What can we do?

You're right. The only way
we defeat a scammer

is to pull a scam of our own.

[laughs maliciously]

[Cricket] Good afternoon, kind sir!

- What?
- I'd like to pay

for this single ear of corn.

But all I've got is a $1,000 bill!

You wouldn't happen
to have change, would you?

$1,000 bill?

[chuckles]

Hm? Hmm.

Of course, sir. Let me, uh, get your...

- change!
- [yelling] No, wait, that didn't hurt.

Cricket, I'm gonna be constructive.

That was terrible.

Go give your mom
her fake money back.

I thought I was pretty convincing.

Why would Nancy try to scam me
with the oldest trick in the book?

I wrote the book
on the oldest tricks in the book!

Huh, unless, she knows
I've been scammin' people

and was trying to get
the money back!

Well, too bad for you, Nance.

- I'm always one step ahead!
- [♪ suspenseful music playing]

Aw, crud, I forgot to run.

[♪ intense music playing]

Dad? What're you doing
with the cash box?

Gotta find somewhere to stash this
till the heat dies down.

Schemo-scammo.

Wow, you can really move
when you wants to.

[cackles]

- [laughs maliciously]
- You can't hide forever, Dad!

Dad, c'mon. I know you're nearby.

- [huffs]
- [grunts] Get back here!

Ha-ha, close one!

Oh!

Uh, carry on.

- Whoa!
- Dad,

you bring that cash box back right now!

What? Dead end?

Okay, Nick Mulligan,
time for a clever escape plan.

Hah! I got you, Dad!

Huh?

[pants]

Now, before I bury my loot,
let me take a moment

to appreciate my sweet, sweet bounty.

Huh?

"Keep up the good work, Dad.
I'm proud of you."

No, no.

[screams] No!

We apologize. There was something wrong
with the scale earlier

and you were all overcharged.

- Here's your corn.
- And here's your refund.

Wow! You gotta respect
an honest business.

Travel safely, now!

All right. How'd you do it, Nance?

Oh, c'mon, Dad. You were there.

[inaudible]

[Nancy] I had Cricket pull
the old "ask for change" scam

knowing that you'd see right through it.

Only, while Cricket was distracting you,
Tilly swapped the tills.

Then I tailed you to make sure
you'd run off,

buying the kids time so they could
issue refunds without you interfering.

That's the last of them!

Well, I'll be.

You scammed a scammer
and got away with it.

I'm proud of you, kid.

[chuckles] Thanks, Dad.
Now give me back my wallet.

[grumbles]
Yeah, always with the wallet.

And here's yours.

[sniffing] Yep, real proud.

♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got bit
by a hundred flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by dogs ♪

♪ Licked by a frog
Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters in seven of ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪