11x04 - The Non-Proposal

[bunniefuu]

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray,
and his Uncle Charley, William Demarest.

My Three Sons, starring Fred McMurray, William Demarest.

Well, have you seen the locket he bought her?

No, but it can't be much.

You know, Chip can't charge things, and I
happen to know he only has $30 to his name.

Well, then she now owns a $30 locket.

Oh.

Well, she will own a $30 locket when he
gives it to her tonight.

Well, Barbara, suppose he did decide to do
something weird, like going steady.

I can't see that as too much of a problem, can you?

Suppose he decides to do something
weirder, like getting married.

I'm sure marriage has never entered Chip's mind.

So am I.

But I'm not so sure it hasn't entered Polly's mind.

Oh.

For me?

Sure, it's for you.

It's not even my birthday till tomorrow.

Oh, Chip, a locket.

Yeah.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Look inside.

I didn't know whether to put the picture
in upside down or right side up.

What?

You know, when it's around your neck, and for some reason
you want to look at the picture, it won't be upside down.

Why don't you put it on so I can see what you mean?

Here.

Boy, they sure make these things little.

Does this little hook roll around inside the little ring?

Yeah.

So you pull this back, and then you hook it like that.

Oh.

Anyway, if you had it on, you want to look at the picture.

You do this, and there it is.

If you could get it open.

Man.

I'm glad you're not good at putting on girls' lockets.

It says something to me.

It says I got clumsy fingers.

It says you don't give girls lockets.

Oh, Chip.

Is it upside down?

Aren't you going to kiss me?

Sure.

Happy birthday.

Now I have that comfortable feeling again.

Good, because you're sitting on a busted spring.

The external world doesn't mean anything to me.

It's being with you.

It's knowing that you took the trouble to
pick out and buy me a locket and put your

picture in it, even to try to figure out whether the
picture would be right-side up when I looked at it.

Those are good things, Chip, really good.

That's cool.

Do you have that comfortable feeling when
you're with me, too?

Well, sure.

Like you don't want to be with anybody else?

Right.

Like with all the millions of people in
the world, they're just the two of us?

Yeah, something like that.

Chip, let's make it come true.

Make what come true?

That out of all the millions of people in
the world, they're just the two of us.

Okay.

You mean it?

Well, sure.

I guess that's why I bought you the lock.

Oh, Chip.

The weather report says fair and warmer.

Oh, great.

There goes my golf game.

But he says there's not going to be any
rain for the weekend.

He said fair and warmer during the last monsoon.

Well, hi, you guys.

Hi, Chip.

Hey, how did Polly like the locket?

It blew her mind.

Well, in that case, I'm glad you didn't
give her a diamond necklace.

Me too.

Oh, by the way, Polly and I are going steady.

What?

Say that again, dear.

You and Chip are what?

Engaged.

Engaged.

He gave me this locket, and he put his picture in it, and
we talked about how there was no one in the world but us.

But did he actually propose?

Of course, in an ethereal sense.

Chip doesn't talk much, but his innuendos are overwhelming.

But there was no date mentioned.

Of course not, Mother.

You don't say, Polly, here's a locket with
my picture in it.

Let's get married June 27th.

Oh.

Oh, I see.

No, you don't see.

You have that this will all blow overlook on your face.

It won't.

All right, dear.

But in the meantime, we won't say anything
to your father about this, will we?

Oh, of course not.

I mean, Pop isn't ready for a thing like this.

What.

Do you want to have lunch with a couple of women for?

They invited him.

Polly's mother wants to get to know him better.

Yeah, well, I don't like the sound of that.

She's okay.

Keep your eyes wide open.

There's something weird about getting
invited to lunch by a couple of dames.

I mean, ladies.

Oh, what?

You got a clean shirt?

Sure, this one.

Yeah, well, that shirt was clean when Hector was a pup.

I'll get you another one.

Who's Hector?

Oh, it's just one of those wild things.

From the olden days.

I think I'm broken.

Broken?

Yeah.

Everybody's saying things, and I don't
know what they're saying.

You're not broken, Dodie.

You're just young.

Boy, that's a relief.

I wouldn't want you guys to have a busted little sister.

What are you looking for?

Oh, the ketchup.

Hey, excuse me.

She puts ketchup on everything.

Oh, getting to know each other's habit patterns, hmm?

I guess so.

Well, that's nice.

For the future.

Um, Pauline tells me you and she have an arrangement.

Mama means about, you know, what we talked
about last night.

Oh, yeah, sure.

I mean, from now on, there's just going to
be the two of us.

Oh, that's fine, Chip.

Uh, now, we haven't said anything to
Pauline's father about this yet.

It sounds funny to hear you call Pauline.

Well, why haven't you told him?

It's no big deal.

It's no big deal?

Well, I mean, why didn't you tell him?

Well, you see, Chip.

Uh, I wanted to know a little more about your
plans and hopes for the future before we bothered Mr.

Williams with any formal announcement.

It's just that Daddy gets so excited about everything.

How come?

I don't know.

I guess because I'm his only daughter, and anything...

anything like what we talked about last
night would stir him up.

Oh, he's got a mental hang-up or something?

Oh, no, Chip.

Oh, my goodness.

Hey, there's your dad.

Want me to go tell him we're here?

No!

That's all right, Chip.

He, uh...

He sees us.

Now, uh, I'm a reasonable man, wouldn't you say, Margaret?

Wouldn't you say that, Margaret?

Yes, dear.

You're a very reasonable man.

Then why won't you answer a simple question?

Because I have been answering all
afternoon and all through dinner.

Polly and I had lunch with Chip this
afternoon because it was her birthday.

And it was a little... celebration.

In that case, why don't you look at me when you say it?

Oh, Tom, I'm tired of the whole subject.

I'm going to bed.

You're not gonna tell me what it is, huh?

I told you.

Margaret, a woman does not go to lunch with her daughter
and her daughter's boyfriend unless something's going on.

Now, I want to know what it is.

Tom, Polly was 18 today.

I know.

I gave her a present.

Fine.

Now you can give her another present.

What?

Leave her alone.

How's this?

Fine, Rob.

Did you play golf?

This weekend, I?

Yeah, in spite of the weather, Bill.

You're being pretty rough on them.

Two or three times last year, they were right.

Oh, no.

What's the matter?

Polly's father.

You better put a smile on him.

Your face is saying, I don't like this guy.

Lucky I spotted you, Steve.

Barks to Williams.

This is my son, Rob.

Who must be the one with the truck?

That's right?

Right.

Nice to know you.

Steve, could we talk alone?

Well, is it something that couldn't be
said in front of Rob?

No, I guess not.

Steve, we have a big problem on our hands.

Oh?

Yes, Polly and Richard.

What about Polly and Chip, Mr. Williams?

Tom, you keep forgetting to call me Tom.

What about Polly and Chip, Tom?

Steve, I... I caught them having lunch together.

You caught them having lunch together?

With my wife.

And you came over here to tell me about it?

Why would two kids have lunch with an adult?

I mean, kids think all adults are creeps, right?

Not necessarily.

Well, what I'm trying to say is that they
have been seeing a lot of each other.

And you have to admit they have been
seeing a lot of each other.

Well, suddenly they decide to have lunch with my wife.

This can only mean one thing.

They're serious about each other.

Well, either that or they like your wife.

Tom, I think they are serious about each other.

But what's wrong with that?

Steve, do you want Richard married at 18?

Just what are you trying to say?

I'm trying to say that I think that your
son and my daughter are engaged.

Engaged?

Do you mind if your father and I discuss this alone?

What did he say, Steve?

I spoke with Chip a couple of nights ago
about this whole thing.

Now, he's very fond of Polly, but they are not engaged.

Well, look, would you talk to him again?

Pin him down.

Get back to me.

I mean, you've got to see my side of this.

Until Friday, she was only 17.

Look, I'm sorry it was rough on you.

Boy, but you did butt in a lot,
and this is important to me.

Let me know what you find out, Steve.

He really turns me off.

That makes two of us.

I think there might be something to what he's thinking.

Chip tells me they're just going steady.

I trust Chip.

You trust me about what?

Oh, hi, Chipper.

On your way to see Polly?

Yeah, we both have 10 O'clock classes
tomorrow, so we just thought we'd mess around.

You trust me about what?

Oh, we were just talking about...
You and Polly going steady.

Oh, she's okay.

Chip, that's all it is, isn't it?

I mean, you're just going steady.

You mean are we engaged or something?

Well, the thought crossed our minds.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Do you think I'm weird or something?

Night.

Night.

Headache better?

Yeah.

It's a miracle cure.

You.

Better move over here next to me.

Do you really want me to?

Well, sure.

That spring will k*ll you.

That better?

Yeah.

I'm sorry about the radio being busted.

Who needs a radio?

It's a warm night, the trees are
whispering, and the crickets are singing.

That's music enough for me.

Crickets don't sing.

I know, but listen for a minute.

Isn't it pretty?

Well, you get a good sound for a bunch of
bugs rubbing their hind legs together.

Is that all it means to you?

A bunch of bugs rubbing their hind legs together?

Heck no.

It's pretty.

But when you think about it, most sounds
come out of a throat.

The human mind isn't quite ready for any
sound that's made any other way.

Oh, Chip, you're deep.

Well, there's nothing deep about it.

It's just stuff you notice.

You're modest, too.

Are you sorry about the other night when
you gave me the locket?

Why should I be sorry?

It's paid for.

I don't mean that.

I mean about us being engaged.

Engaged?

Engaged?

Yeah.

Man, Dad, we must have got our wires crossed.

I never said the word engaged to Polly.

Honest.

Well, honey, it's not a crime, even if you did.

Yeah, but man, where do I go from here?

You know, I didn't even know we were going
steady, and now I find out I'm engaged.

Well, Chip, has there been any talk of a
wedding date or a ring or anything?

Of course not.

Did she maneuver me or something?

Chip, I've watched Polly around you.

She's in love.

Deeply in love.

Now, she didn't maneuver you, but she
may have indulged in a little wishful thinking.

Yeah, but man, I'm still engaged.

Oh, Chip, it's just a word.

I mean, engaged or going steady,
it's sort of the same thing.

One has a little more potential than the other, that's all.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, nobody can marry me if I don't want to get married.

Would you guys think I'm a wimp if I let
Polly go on thinking we're engaged?

A wimp?

A wimp?

Spineless?

Well, Chip, you've never been a wimp.

You never will be.

Polly's not the only one who loves you, honey.

I know.

Good night.

Good night, Chip.

Good night.

You know... Don't say it.

I know.

You're frowning because Mr. Williams
turned out to be right.

Well, he wasn't right when I talked to him.

He only became right tonight.

I'll tell him, mister.

Daddy?

Yes, honey?

A man just called and said he was coming right over.

Did he say what his name was?

Yeah, Mr. Williams.

Who else?

Thanks, I'll eat it.

That's all I ask, darling.

Don't let whatever he has to say upset you.

I don't intend to.

Good.

I mean, I'm only saying this because I
know you don't care for him.

I'm not going to lose my temper if that's
what you're worried about.

Yes, well, that is what I'm worried about.

I'll get it.

Hello, Barbara.

Hi, Steve.

Well, I was right.

You were wrong.

Why don't you come in?

Thank you.

I made some coffee.

Sit down, Steve.

Sit down.

I knew something was going on.

You see, the women around my house get a wild
look when they're trying to keep something from me.

But I wore them down.

You found out that Chip and Polly are engaged?

You know?

Chip told us last night.

We were a little surprised, too.

As a matter of fact, Chip was surprised.

He thought they were just going steady.

You're not trying to lay the blame off on Polly, Steve.

I think it's ridiculous to blame either one of them.

Agreed.

Agreed?

Yes, agreed, of course.

I suggest you have a nice long talk with
your boy and tell him to stop bothering Polly.

Well, let me put it a different way.

Just tell him that there are a lot of other fish in
the ocean and I think he should start fishing again.

What I'm really trying to suggest is that
we break this whole thing off right now.

That way nobody gets hurt.

Nobody gets hurt?

Well, what about those two kids?

I'm her father.

What kind of a father is it that tries to
k*ll his daughter's happiness?

Take it easy.

I mean, how do you know that those kids
are just deeply in love?

Why don't you give them a chance?

A chance to find out for themselves.

What kind of a law says a father should skulk around the
background and let's just call the whole thing off right now?

Oh, Mr. Williams.

Mr. Williams, you make me ill.

Is she always like that?

No.

Do you agree with her?

I not only agree with her, I'm proud of her.

Good morning, Uncle Charley.

Morning.

That was a nice going over you gave that
fathead last night.

Did you hear it?

Every word.

Well, I'm not very proud of myself.

Hey, that was a neat flash to Eve O
'Williams last night, Mom.

You shot him down real good.

Well, I'm not very proud of losing control like that.

Hey, Mom, thanks.

For what?

For blasting Polly's dad and defending me
and all that stuff.

It left your mother a little shaken, but...
I must say, I was very proud of her, too.

But did everybody hear it?

Sure.

She could hardly miss.

I'll bet they heard you now, Kirky.

What's everybody talking about?

Oh, nothing, honey.

Your mother sounded like a fishwife last
night, and she's sorry.

Man, I'm busted again.

You're busted?

Yeah, even when people explain junk to me.

I never know what's going on.

Well, Dodie, first chance we get, we'll have you repaired.

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