01x04 - Traitor's Gate

[bunniefuu]

Tall, dark stranger walks in -
there has to be a catch.

- There are things.
- I know.

- That the real database?.
- Yeah, and that is a real credit rating.

When might you address the issue that
your real name is Tom Quinn and you're a spy?.

Matthew, I need to know. Who are you?.

[NEWS REPORTS] Protesters against
Bush's visit to London clash with police...

The demonstration has attracted protesters of
all kinds - antiwar groups, Greens, anarchists...

President Bush arrives in London later
this week. If feelings are running this high...



I spy...

Come on, come on.

I 'm sure it's him.

Yup. Mark Develeaux of Green Action.
Rock and roll. Let's not lose him.

Tango X, what's happening?.

- Tango X, are you receiving?.
- A group broke the cordon.

- Stay with them.
- Didn't receive...

- Don't do that! He's touched his earpiece.
- One can't get the staff.

He's a cop!

- His ba*ls will be busted.
- They already are. Guy in the helmet.

Delta Blue, this is X-Ray Red.
Subject with penguin on head is friendly.

He's an infiltrator!

He knows we're observing.

- Marvelous.
- Perfect second row technique.

- Rugby.
- I didn't know you liked rugger buggers.

- Shall we stay focused?.
- Oh, yes.

Hold up. Hold up.

What is this?. That's not...?.

It is. The famous Peter Salter.

- X-Ray, this is Delta Blue.
- Receiving.

Suspect claims he's friendly. Can you confirm?.

- What do we do?.
- Pull him.

You can't pull Peter Salter. He's a legend.
Maybe he's on an op.

We're running surveillance on this.
We would have been told.

We weren't, were we?.
If he's undercover, we'd have known.

Oh, no. We haven't screwed up here, have we?.

Oh, please... please.

X-Ray Red, what action?

- You're senior.
- Wimp.

X-Ray Red to Delta Blue. Release suspect.
Repeat. Release your suspect.

Roger that. OK, go.

- I've gotta get a shot of the girl.
- They'll try to get a shot.

Peter, how do you know that?.
God! What are you?.

I'm a bloody hero. Come on.

What did we just do?.

Oh, my God!

It's not as bad as it looks.

Peter William Salter. Born 1954, Chelmsford.

Essex boy, eh?.
Father an NCO, 23rd Middlesex r*fles.

k*lled by a b*mb. Famagusta, Cyprus, 1958.

Four when he lost his dad.

Family poor. Mother a cleaner. Campaigned
for increasing army widows' pension rights.

His mum had a security file.
She must have got up noses in the MOD.

She died two years ago.

Peter an only child. Brilliant.
Scholarship to local grammar.

Scholarship to St Edmund's Hall, Oxford
University. Rugby Blue. Well spotted, Zoe.

Wow. First-class degree maths and philosophy.
What a clever b*stard.

- We must have had a briefing file...
- Danny.

- Fun on the Bush demo?.
- A doddle.

I want a report in one hour.

What did you say you did again?.

- Fell on a stapler.
- An industrial strength stapler?.

It was a whopper.

It's a g*n wound, isn't it?.

- Someone shot you.
- Don't be silly.

Once I tell you, there's no going back.

- So what are you, a gangster?.
- I'm a spy.

- I work for MI5.
- MI5?.

Jesus.

It's a job with an office and a pension.
It's got a canteen. It's not out of the ordinary.

- You just got shot.
- Well, there are perks.

- What?.
- Why don't we have a cup of tea, eh?.

- Why were you at the restaurant?.
- I fancied you.

- Why did you come in the first place?.
- Because there was an op.

Some spying thing at my restaurant?.

- What was it about?.
- I can't tell you that.

Secrets.

You can't expect me to go against my training.

- Your training?.
- I am what I do.

- I couldn't. Vetting.
- You vetted me?.

It's routine when officers form liaisons.

Great. So now you know
that I'm not Bin Laden's sister, you can tell me.

I was scared you'd leave.
Everything flows from that.

No. Everything flows from "can I trust you??"

Is Matthew your real name?.

No.

What happened there?.

- We had no idea Peter Salter was undercover.
- We weren't briefed.

You did not see Peter Salter today.
You'd be in very hot water if it had been him.

- I'm sure it was him on the tapes.
- I have viewed the tapes and you are mistaken.

Oh... Yes.

- Your operatives did well in the crowd?.
- Tremendous.

Poor young Jeff Catty...
with a penguin on his head.

Very well done. Go and write it up.

- That it?.
- What do you want?.

My tongue down your throat?.

Matthew Archer got a tax demand today.

- It's not real.
- Don't spies pay taxes?.

The Inland Revenue run a special office
so no one can trace us.

- Trace you?.
- Yeah.

What is it?.

- What is what?.
- Your real name.

Tom Quinn.

[ELLIE] Matthew... Matthew...

[TOM] Ellie, I'm not like you. There are things...

- I know.
- You don't know, Ellie.

[ELLIE] Matthew...I love you.

[DANNY] The brilliant Mr Salter.

Recruited at Oxford to GCHQ training
for advanced computer code breaking.

Volunteered for MI5 service, 1977.

Commended for bravery -
Operation Burnt Field, Belfast, 1978.

Seconded to MI6, 1985 to '89.

Fly me to the moon.

Returned to us 1992.
Recruited following officers...

Zoe, what's goi ng on?.
Why is Harry sayi ng he wasn't there?.

Salter recruited Tom.

Tom doesn't talk about how the service got him.

How did you join?.

Won't say?. Can't say?.

All that matters is us - here and now.

Great. So in this "here and now",
I stop calling you Matthew and call you Tom.

I'll change my name too.
Call me...p*ssy Galore.

I've told you I do a job serving my country.
Is that so bad?.

What about Maisie?. Are you gonna tell her?.

- It can be difficult with kids.
- I can't have her lied to.

Not after what she went through with her father.
Tell Maisie or I leave you.

[PHONE RINGS]

Matthew. Chris. Fancy a drink?.

Yeah. Fox On The Hill?.

- Gotta go.
- Was that them?.

No. I'm just going for a drink.

- There was no briefing he was on the demo?.
- No.

- Harry wanted us to forget it. It was odd.
- It was odd, Tom.

Right. Nail everything down.

This could be tasty.

- Why was Peter Salter undercover?.
- You are on sick leave.

I run Peter. That is set in stone.

- All right. I'm running Peter on a special op.
- What op?.

How is Ellie?. Her vetting flagged up positive.

- Don't do that.
- What?.

Threaten me. Ellie was on a "Women Reclaim
The Streets" march in 1992. Please!

You didn't know
Peter was going to break his cover.

Turn him over to me. He's mine.
I run him because I know him inside out.

Oh, when shall we lay down our burdens?.
All right.

That is Istvan Vogel.

In his Düsseldorfer Bank days before he got
religion - if world anarchy is a religion.

Istvan Vogel. Anarchist. Enemy of the state.

The great wizard behind anti-American riots.

He has vowed to scorch the earth and not
leave a bank or stock exchange standing.

He's here to strike
against the Bush visit, like in Genoa?.

That's the thought
browning trousers in Downing Street.

Sod you! How could you keep me out?.

You weren't in for a very good reason
which will become apparent.

- Get me Jools Siviter at MI6.
- Oh, no.

- Gentlemen, good afternoon.
- Jools, how are you?.

I'm very well indeed. And you've brought
little terrier Tom along with you.

- Good to see you, Tom.
- Jools.

It might be jolly if we walked about.

Always gives one a bit of a frisson going
amongst the plebs talking of state secrets.

And if you're very good,
I've got a bit of a treat for you.

Fine.

You should have asked me
if Tom was to be briefed.

- I can use whatever officers I want.
- With respect, it is not your decision.

Are we gonna have to come
and potty-train you people?.

MI6 runs operations abroad. MI5 at home.

English Channel, Calais,
foreign bods and Johnnies south, we take care.

White cliffs of Dover,
all British north, your concern.

- The officer was from our service...
- Seconded to us.

- He is not...
- Moment.

Ah. A jolly bit of news.
I'm sorry. What were you saying?.

He is not seconded to you. It's a joint operation...

It concerns a foreign national,
so we are prima mobile.

What?.

Tom, you spoke.
Good to see you working on your skills.

- Afternoon, gents. Great day for it.
- Absolutely.

- We cannot discuss this in the street.
- I agree. I know where we can get a drink.

- All quiet on the Western Front, Mr Patel?.
- All quiet.

- Shut up shop now.
- Yes, Mr Siviter.

The joy of an obo post
is that no one sees you drinking.

- What is this?.
- This is the treat I promised.

We've been bugging an anarcho's flat
and something else has wandered in.

- They're home?.
- Yes, sir.

Talking?. Rumpty tumpty?.

[SIGHS OF LOVEMAKING]

- Yes. Thank you.
- What's going on?.

The girl your Peter Salter is with
is using the flat of a German comrade,

and that's where Peter's been giving her
the benefit of his experience.

You're conducting surveillance
on him without my authorization?.

- Gift horse. The mikes were already there.
- You want his intelligence product for yourself.

There's no real product yet.

[SIGHING]

You're MI5.

- Ow!
- Why am I doing this?.

sh*t.

[PETER SALTER] It's the danger. It's sexy.

I've just discovered I've been shagging
a secret agent for two months.

- Andrea...
- No. Just...

- Who's the girl?.
- Please can we all be up to speed?.

Andrea Chambers. 25. No college.

Sushi bar co-owner. Mother's money. Bar failed.

Then "It girl" around town. Weekend on
a Yorkshire commune and never looked back.

Anarchos like totty
from Cheltenham Ladies' College. Cheers.

I trusted you.
I told myself I was in love with you.

I am the thing
the security service fears the most -

the spy who goes through traitor's gate

and embraces everything
he's been trained to destroy.

I want to be with you. I want to be one of you.

I've learned from you. There is a world elsewhere.

- Is that a quote?.
- Shakespeare. "Coriolanus."

It's one hell of a pitch. He's very good.

- [ANDREA] Just hold me.
- How do these b*stards do it?.

- Tell Istvan I want to meet him.
- No. He won't.

Yes, he will. Tell him I've got
a dead ground map for the whole country.

What's a dead ground map?.

Every government building,
installation, communications...

military sites.

The map shows were CCTV cameras miss.

You could raid anywhere in the country.

- Did he clear this with you?.
- Absolutely.

That's bloody imaginative for you, Harry.
I hope you've thought it through.

We just lost a bug.

What's happening?.

[INDISTINCT SHUFFLINGS]

- Goodnight, sweet ladies.
- [STATIC]

If your officer's gonna wreck one of our houses,
it's coming out of your budget.

Peter...

[FAN WHIRRS]

Go to this address. You'll be safe there.

I'll come and get you. All right?.

We'd better get out of this place. Separately.

Old habits.

I still don't know if I can trust you.

I'll prove it to you.

I love you. So you'd better.

[AUTOMATIC DIALING]

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hello.
- Is Ellie there?

- Who is it?.
- Tom.

Someone called Tom.

- Sorry. She's tied up.
- Just tell her that...

Never mind.

Hiya, Tom. How are you doing?.

- So you moved Harry?.
- Something like that.

- Don't get too clever at the office politics.
- "Look out, not in."

- Salter's rule for preserving sanity.
- I remember.

I should bloody well hope you do.
I perverted you to the service of the crown.

So where's the girl?.

Camden B&B.

Your game plan was to be undercover,
work the girl. You have gone way off-piste...

Come on, they may be anarchists,
but they're as tight as a Leninist cell.

Normal cover's not gonna get me
anywhere near Istvan Vogel.

We're all con men. What's the hook
I've got to con Istvan?. Me.

-It's my soul.
-And offering him the national dead ground map.

- That's just a cherry on top.
- Where did you get it?.

- A pretty little thing in Ordnance Survey.
- You'll have to turn it in.

- Am I under some sort of cloud?.
- Yup.

- Harry's getting grief from Vauxhall Cross?.
- No, no.

No. They're dazzled by Istvan Vogel as the prize.
You're the hero of the hour.

- So what's the problem?.
- Me.

It's me.

You're in love with the girl.
You blew your cover for her.

You weren't acting back in that flat.

Yeah, well.

I hear you've got a new girl. You told her?.

Yeah.

You have to in the end, don't you?.

The difference is
Ellie is not a target on an operation.

She's a believer, Tom.
That's what makes her so beautiful - her purity.

Oh, Peter, please! How many in our trade
have fallen for that one?.

- I've not fallen. I'm just in love.
- Oh, Peter, Peter, Peter.

Believe me, Tom. I'm so close.

When I do bust Istvan Vogel,

then Jools and Harry and all of you
will be buzzing round the honeypot.

The service can put me in a dead file

and retire Andrea and me to some little fruit farm.

OK.

- OK.
- OK.

- I can operate independently?.
- When have you ever not?.

Great.

- There has to be an end to it somewhere.
- To what?.

Obedience to the state.

I'm closing this operation down. We go back now.

- f*ck you! They'll get to Bush.
- You are stood down.

What's happened to you?. Ambition?.

- You're losing it, Peter.
- Maybe we all do in the end.

- Tom, I need to see her tonight.
- I can't let that happen.

Before she ruins her life.
Come on, favor for the master?.

I love her, Tom.

Tomorrow morning. Thames House.
Be there all day.

Jawohl, mein Gruppenführer.

Tom.

Thanks.

- How did the debriefing go?.
- I pulled him.

- You what?.
- He's not reliable.

The great Peter Salter not reliable?.

It was the way he said "obedience to the state."

- What way?.
- Like a believer.

- I hope I'm wrong.
- So do I.

- Where is he now?.
- He's at the Camden B&B.

Zoe and Danny are watching.

Good. Tell me everything that he said to you.

- Earl Grey tea bags.
- What?.

- You didn't get any.
- Why would I get you Earl Grey tea bags?.

I like them.

No.

We share a flat. We are not married.

- Is Earl Grey tea bags married?.
- Yes.

- Was there a cashpoint back there?.
- What is it with you and plastic?.

When I'm unhappy, I have an urge to get money.

- [CAMERA CLICKS]
- He's going in to the girl.

[KNOCKS]

It's me.

- What time did they say they'd pick us up?.
- 1.30.

Right.

Call 999. Say there's a couple having sex
in a BMW in the Horlworth Road, Camden,

and there's children about.

Just do it.

[SIREN WAILS]

Sod it.

[TAPPING ON WINDOW]

We've had a complaint, sir.

- There are children about.
- At one o'clock at night?.

- Don't get funny.
- Danny.

- Arrange your clothes and get out, sir.
- My clothes are not unarranged. sh*t!

- You sh*t!
- Right! Get out of the vehicle now!

Andrea, in front. Peter, in with me.

Mobile.

Thank you.

If you were I, what would you ask me
to ask you to do now?.

Thank you.

Are we gonna k*ll him, then?.

The President of the United States
when he visits in five days' time.

Are we gonna pop him or what?.

We have a long way to go.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?.

Hello. Is Matt... Tom there, please?

- Who wants to know?.
- Could you tell him it's Harold?

No.

- Was that the phone?.
- Don't know.

[PHONE REDIALS]

Hi. Mobile was off.

- They've lost Peter Salter. Get in here.
- Right, thanks.

- God, Ellie. I've got to go. I'm sorry.
- It's 6.20. What time did you get in?.

- Dunno. Two?.
- You said you went for a drink.

I've got to shower.

Who is Harold?.

If someone calls with a message, it'll be
important, so please tell me what they say.

You're going to have to tell me...once.

In detail, all of it, just once.

Then maybe we'll be in with a chance.

- Where are we, then?. Wales?.
- Why do you think that?.

A sense of geography goes with my trade.

The English secret pig policeman.

The looney anarcho enemy
of the world order, I presume.

Agents of state security have
attempted to penetrate our group before.

- We have dealt with them.
- Ah. But did they all bring gifts?.

Ah, yes. The legendary dead ground map.
Very impressive.

So...what's the plan for the Bush visit?.

- Tell him.
- We're going to occupy the Mall.

So Bush can't drive up it
to the state banquet with the Queen.

- Special forces will mash you to bits.
- We're not afraid of a fight.

- What good...?.
- We've found the gas main on the Mall.

We just need to dig down and set it alight.

And you think this is a wonderful wheeze?.

The disruption will be bigger than Stockholm.

[INDISTINCT RAISED VOICES]

Not you! Get out!

They're gonna blame us.

- Tom, sorry about...
- Harry wants you.

- Do you know what it's about?.
- Now!

Right.

- [KNOCKING]
- Come in.

- Harry, about losing Salter...
- It isn't about that. Have you got them on you?.

Your credit cards.

I wanted you to get this through your system,
this thing you have with money -

particularly money that you don't have.

We all have our little quirks.

Breaking into computers to set your own
credit rating isn't such a sin in our trade.

It's an impulse that, creatively channeled,
could be used to brilliant effect.

Sadly, in your case, it has not yet.
But I am going to protect you.

Because of Mr Salter, during the next few days,
we will all be in the spotlight.

The menders will be vetting us
to the very backs of our eyeballs.

So you are now owning up, aren't you?.

- Yeah.
- Give me the cards, you bloody idiot.

Punishment. Office staff training.

- Not that...
- For as long as it takes.

Punishment reforms. The kind I dish out does.

What will you achieve?.

We will raise consciousness in the public mind.

- Sorry.
- Then what do you suggest?.

You want to change the world,
then give the powers that be a fright.

And how do we do that, Peter?.

Let me amaze you
with the vulnerability of the modern world.

Use the dead ground map
as a tool for greater things.

Blind spots in the security coverage
of Medway University.

Its Ordnance Survey department has
computers that are linked to the mainframe

of air traffic control.

I have the same seniority as Tom.
Why wasn't I included in the loop?.

Career, career. Careering along faster
and faster over the edge of the bloody cliff!

- Harry?.
- Stressful day.

I'll tell you anything you haven't learnt
in the ladies, but first things first.

You have a source. Billy Turner. He's in
a British anarchist group called Trashers.

- He's not that reliable.
- Looks terrific to me.

- Spent enough on him too.
- He's nowhere near Istvan Vogel.

We'll take anything.
We're in a state of desperation.

- I'll meet him.
- No. Zoe will. You have more senior tasks.

- Where's his dead drop?.
- Hampstead Heath. But...

- What?.
- Fine.

So...we doing something today?.
Like driving up to Alton Towers?.

Alton Towers?. Matthew! Matthew!

- I need to talk to you first, Maisie.
- OK.

Let's go and sit over here.

Now...

My real name's not Matthew.

- Do I have to call you Tom now?.
- Do you mind?.

Why did you say you were Matthew?.

Because Matthew was a secret name.

It wasn't a secret name 'cause I know it.
Tom's your secret name.

I'm a spy. Know what that is?.

Someone who watches someone
when they don't know they're being watched?.

Yes.

- Hello, Zoe.
- What's happened?.

- Where's Billy Turner?.
- He's here.

Don't go wobbly on me, Zoe.

What, there is no Billy Turner?.

- You're running a phantom agent. Why?.
- For the money.

I pocket the sweeteners.
He's not the only one. There are lots more.

- That is so dangerous.
- They're in odd corners.

I thought Billy was safe. No one would
notice a stupid little anarchist group.

Then this business came up.
Could I have a sandwich?.

Yeah.

Oh, well...

I think I'll k*ll him.

- And what's that?.
- Ten grand.

Tell Harry that Billy Turner didn't show.

What makes you so confident
I'm just gonna go along with all this?.

I'm not.

Matthew's real name is Tom and he's a spy.
We can call him Tom now.

He promised he won't get shot again.
But we're not to tell. Ever.

We going to Alton Towers now?.

[DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS]

Zoe, you in there?.

Had a b*tch of a day and this I can do without!

Zoe!

That's the plan brought to us by our new comrade.
The moment has come.

For?.

Quickly. Less than ten seconds
before we lose the blind spot.

Go, go, go!

- Which machine?.
- This one's as good as any other.

What do you think you're doing?.
Istvan said the group never carries arms.

- Private initiative.
- Put it away...now.

Prat.

- How much longer?.
- How long is a piece of string?.

Armed intruders!

I don't trust you to do this.
I have never trusted you.

- [ALARM BLEEPS]
- Take the computers. Just the towers.

- They'll think it's a break-in.
- What about you?.

- Get out.
- No!

Don't let us down.

And there you have it, you b*stards.

Armed police! Let's do this carefully.
No need to rush.

Come out! I repeat, come out!

Coming out now!

Coming out.

- Armed police! Stand still!
- Put your hands up!

- Put it down!
- I'm putting it down!

- I think I should do it.
- Is he here yet?.

- Special Branch brought him.
- And the girl?.

No. Oh, shag!

Your star officer gets caught
stealing computers from a university.

- I'm quiz master.
- Tom is quizzing him.

Tom?. Little tinkering Tom here
is responsible for this mess.

Let it be Tessa.

Jools, until you get me the push,
this is my department. Tom will be quiz master.

- I have viewing rights.
- Be our guest.

- It's lively here.
- You want him now?.

Right away.

When our guest arrives, no staring.
He's a returning hero.

Zoe, say hello, normal as you can.

[MUFFLED SOUNDS, BUZZING]

Tom.

- We'll use Harry's office.
- Is he not here?

He's at some function.
He'll be delighted to hear you're out.

- You OK?
- Yeah.

Spot of tinnitus from the bangs.

- Harry's finest.
- Not for me.

- You got any smokes?.
- I haven't. Sorry.

- Anyway... A triumph.
- You reckon?.

Yeah. Thought you were so off-piste
you weren't even on the mountain!

Let's do the details. Personnel, planning.
It is the President's visit?.

- Yeah.
- Where's their HQ?.

- They had me blindfolded.
- Any feelings?.

- East Anglia.
- East Anglia?. Not much cover.

- There were sheds.
- Aircraft hangars?.

- Could be.
- The girl will tell us.

So what was the point of this silly
university stunt?. Theft to raise funds?.

Yeah, right. They're broke.

Yeah. We picked the girl up.
She did this really stupid thing.

- She hurt herself.
- How?.

Broke her ankle. Her "comrades" left her.

- They would.
- Hard lot?.

- They reckon so.
- Shall I make a leap?.

- You taught me to make leaps.
- Be my guest.

Wales.

Is that a guess?.

East Anglia is the opposite
side of the country to Wales.

Thank you.

- Have you just cracked me?.
- I don't know. You tell me.

f*ck you, Tom Quinn.

The old Cernwyth army range.
North of the Black Mountains.

I trained there when it was alive.

The old faces, old places come around.

Cheeky though, eh?

t*rrorists holed up on a derelict MOD site.

They're in woodland.

It was called Red Alpha on the maps.

Go.

- Have you really got Andrea?.
- Yeah.

Paddington Green. Special Branch are with her.

- Those animals. I want her here now.
- Sure.

- Bring Miss Chambers to Thames House.
- Right away, Tom.

You, of all people.

Why, Peter?.

Boredom. Crippling, chest-tearing,
bum-clenching boredom.

With what this country's become.

Buy. Sell. Image. Credit card nirvana.

When the Soviet Union was crap,
we thought we had something.

My father died for it. Democracy.

Now there's...

..nothing. It's all gone.

It's dead.

No one believes in anything anymore.

Then there was Andrea.

This posh girl turning herself inside out...

..for what she believes.

A passion for a new life.

Nearly broke her, but she's in good faith.

I've always thought that about you, Tom.
You're in good faith.

You're saying you threw everything away
to do a robbery for your new anarchist faith?.

Hm?. It was a feint, wasn't it?.

- What were you doing there, Peter?.
- When Andrea gets here, I'll tell you.

She will be here?.

No, she won't,
because you don't have her, do you?.

The oldest trick in the book.

- You trained me.
- You b*stard.

Come back to us, Peter.
You know we don't burn our own.

You'll be given a nice desk job,
then retirement, pension, perks.

- With Andrea.
- She got to Wales?

- We assume so. Don't make us crucify you.
- I need the bog.

Peter, I still respect you. I want to keep that.

You and I know there's only one future
for me - back in the field as a double agent.

Betraying her, her friends.

There'll be no dream
retirement cottage with garden.

Andrea picking roses
in a see-through chiffon dress.

- You'll be serving your country.
- That's what she's doing.

Can I ask you a personal question?.

What?.

Would you die to protect what you believe in?.

I would.

[HARRY] We know what cost
the service can wreak on all of us

and how the strong can be proved weak
because of its demands.

There, but for the grace of God,
go all of us.

But this was an extraordi nary operation
and a great success.

A potentially dangerous extremist group
stopped in its tracks.

Its leader facing extradition, prosecutions
at home and a point to the public well-made.

Very, very well done.

- [APPLAUSE]
- And now Jools Siviter will eat his hat.

Well, little sisters...

Big sister says...a wake for Peter Salter.

Free drinks on Vauxhall Cross at the George.

Then we can all go out tomorrow
with clear heads

and welcome
the President of the United States,

unmolested by assorted Euro anarchists.

[APPLAUSE]

Why bust into a geography department
in a university and then k*ll yourself for it?.

Geography...
Name of towns, rivers, valleys and hills.

It's mad.

So the three aims of the service are?.

- Guys, don't do this to me.
- Tell us what really goes on up at the Grid.

I'll tell you one scam an officer was into.

- Setting his credit card ratings.
- Did they catch him?.

- They catch everyone.
- Was it you?.

- Don't be cheeky. The three aims are?.
- Come fly with me, Danny.

I want to fly away. River deep,
mountain high. I know what Salter was up to.

- Ordnance Survey. Their computers...
- Air Traffic Control.

They supply Air Traffic Control
with information about flight paths, hills...

But the only way in is direct to the mainframe.

The geography department are working
on Ordnance Survey. It's a way in.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- Yeah?.

He's put a virus in the mainframe
and the President lands in four hours.

I'll meet you.

Tom?. Have you seen the news?.

Air Traffic Control's gone down.
Bush is having to land in Paris.

- What did they say happened?.
- Some obscure technical problem.

..the President of the USA is paramount.

The DTI has said that the computer malfunction
at Air Traffic Control was minor

and the shutdown automatic.

How was your day?.

A man who believed in a cause
k*lled himself for love.

Totally pointless.

This better be big.

If certain colleagues could see this...

How about the fall of the government?.

ill*gal arms sales,
in my day, was relatively innocent.

- You distrust Maynard?.
- There's an ambiguity.

What are you involved with?.