04x05 - Pedal to the Metal

[bunniefuu]

Montgomery's Rolls Royce.

This is a piece of history.

I've never worked on a car
this valuable.

You have to finish on time,

for Pete's sake.

I'm just going to be really tricky

and set the deadline even earlier.

Jamie, they've brought
the deadline forward.

You are kidding.
We've lost three weeks.

It's impossible.
We go racing again.

Anthony, you and I are our drivers.

This feels great!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

RICHARD VOICEOVER:
It's nearly three years

since The Smallest Cog opened
its doors.

The business still owes me
a fortune.

I've been hiding bank statements

I'm basically running a social club!

So it's time for a big shake-up.

Clock in in the morning,
clock onto a job.

The dawn of a new era.

But not everyone likes change.

I'm very nervous about all of it.

This isn't gonna tell me what to do!
I'll tell you that for nothing.

We make history with our
most important restoration yet.

Did Montgomery or Churchill
ever imagine you sitting in it?

Probably not.

The work must be completed on time.

Oh, she's eager!

Can we race
into a bright new future?

With me at the wheel?

Oh, oh, oh!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

So, Kamla turns out

you're a bit of an accountant
to the stars then,

how long have you worked
for Johnny?



I'm expecting a gold watch.

With our new manager in place,

things are looking up at The Cog,

so in an effort to promote
the business,

my accountant Kamla has
landed me a radio interview

with another of her clients,
Mr Johnny Vaughan.

It's an opportunity to talk about,
if nothing else is a bit of PR.

We can promote the company.
Yes.

Get the word out there.

You know, now we've got
a workshop manager.

Everything will be managed better.

And this could drum up
more business.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Thank you.
This way.

Hello. Richard and Kamla.
We're here to see Johnny Vaughan.

Yeah.

Going in. Where am I? This one?

Yeah, this one, yeah.

Thank you very much, T.C.

Richard Hammond is here to talk
about Richard Hammond's Workshop.

Is it a real business
or TV business?

It is a real business, yes.

I feel like a mother
hen watching over my boys.

[CHUCKLES]

How much do you restore cars?
How bad can it get?

We do everything, Johnny.

From, um, just if you've backed
into a bollard

in a supermarket car park
to if it's incredibly valuable,

and needs rebuilding
from the ground up.

Those are the jobs we love.
OK.

I've got a 22-year-old Maserati.
It's only done 15,000mi.

All the knobs in it, everything.

The housing around the steering,

they've got that rubber thing
where it goes all sticky.

Alright, yes.

I think you might need
new knobs, mate.

The two of these are getting
on so well.

Um, I might actually get, um,

two BFF bracelets
with each other's names

on and give them one of each.

[CHUCKLES]

Bring it down to The Smallest Cog,

which is on the Rotherwas
Estate in Hereford.

Bring it along we'll have a look.

So, I can pop by

and you can sort this out
or help me sort it out.

Yes. We can have a cup of tea
whilst looking at.

OK, OK. Richard Hammond,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

Nice to see you.

[TENSE MUSIC]

So, Richard's out touting
for work as he should be,

which is really good,

but this Rolls Royce
they've just brought

the deadline forward by three weeks.

So, even though we've brought
Matt in,

we're not gonna make it

we've got no chance,

so I need more hands-on deck.

Luckily for me,

I know a guy
which is absolutely fantastic

on the body work
and paint side, Callum,

so I gave him a call yesterday,
and luckily, he said yes,

so he's coming in today
and hopefully fingers crossed,

we get it finished.

We've got no choice,
we have to get it done.

We've got no choice.

Good morning.
Good morning.

How are we?
good. Thanks for coming, mate.

Come on through
and I'll show you how we're doing.

No problem.

So, this is it. This is the car
we've got to get finished.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

It's just a cool car, isn't it?

I just want to get cracking.

The Rolls-Royce

is the most important car

I've ever done, ever.

Now we got Callum helping Matt,

we've got a fighting chance
of getting that car ready for D-Day.

If we let those veterans down,

I would have to hang up
my spray g*n.

So, I'm really glad we've got
some help

to get it finished, get it done.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

I'm out and about today and, um,

one of the little missions

I'm on is to visit my old friend

Richard Hammond.

Now, Jamie, the new manager
at The Smallest Cog,

he has said, quite rightly,

that if you want to go racing,

you're gonna have to fund it

and it's not coming
out of Cog money.

That means no racing.

And that means a very unhappy
Little Richard.

And we don't want that,

do we, because he can
be a scratchy little fluff cat

if he doesn't get his own way.

So, I've had an idea
for the race car, i.e. sponsorship.

Right. Let's have you.

Oh, my lord, it fits.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, yes. Begin. Oh!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Oh, I've got
that going off the track feeling.

No. I'm on the grass but...

Oh, yes.

This is much more like
the real thing.

Hammond.

Richard.

Hello? Hammond.

Hello? Up there?
Where are you?

I'm up here.
I'm up on the mezzanine.

Ah! Hello.

Oh, I see. What's this?

Well, now this is me.

Is this a toy
or is this serious work?

This is me taking very seriously

the fact that I will be representing
The Smallest Cog

at the wheel of our race car soon.

And I've realised I don't know
my way around any race tracks.

So, this is, er, Oulton Park.

This is Oulton Park.
I'm learning it.

Ready for when I...
I'm even talking to you whilst

staying broadly on the track.

I'm glad you're taking it seriously.

Why are you here?

I've been doing
a little bit of blue sky

out of the box, thinking.

Have you as Global Director of PR?

Yes, indeed.
Your new manager...

Yes.
...Mr Pockett...

Yes.

...is now hanging
on to some funds, as you know.

So, you can't take any money out
for the car.

So, the idea is we need
some global sponsors

with big Wonga
to pay for you and the car.

We'll have some event or something

and invite a couple
of potential sponsors round,

maybe give them a little glass
of prosecco,

and then you can say, look,

you can have your, um, logo here,
you can have it there.

Might raise some proper money.
Yes.

Well, I mean, to pay
for this toy for a start.

Mate,
that is actually not a bad idea.

I think that is worth investigating.

Alright, Richard,
give it some thought.

Give it the full majesty
of your mind,

and I will leave you
in your teenage bedroom

to do one of the things
that teenagers do

in their bedrooms
and I'll go make myself a coffee.

OK.
Cheers.

I could be a bit sulky
about Jamie refusing to let

The Smallest Cog bankroll
our racing efforts,

but I kind of get it.

It's fair enough.

I mean, there's no point in him
making the business profitable

and then me squandering

it all on playing race cars
on the weekends.

And Zog is on to something
with his sponsorship idea.

We have raised sponsorship money
before, albeit in a small way,

but maybe with my little famous face
involved,

we can up the amounts
and actually cover the costs.

Though obviously if we are gonna up
the game and raise more money,

we will have to up our game
on the racetrack.

I've crashed, into a wall!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Waiting for a visitor today,
Johnny Vaughan,

radio and TV presenting legend,

he said he'd got a Maserati
that needed some work.

So, um, he's bringing it in,
which is good.

You know, I mean, would be
quite nice if we became, you know,

workshop to the celebrities,
to the stars.

They've all got cars, haven't they?
They'd quite like them done.

We'll try it out on Johnny.

You're ready?

You alright?
Morning.

All ready for our celebrity,
er, customer,

Johnny Vaughan arriving shortly?

Be respectful, but don't overdo it.

We'll be good, we'll behave.

No red carpet then?
You have met celebrities before.

Have we? Oh, yeah...

And look where that got us.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, I like the look of it.
Looks like a Bond villain car.

Oh, it's the proper thing, isn't it?

Hello, how are you?
Yeah.

What is the problem,
talk us through it again.

You talked me through
it but we were on the radio

and I wasn't listening.

OK, so the first problem
is all these buttons are sticky.

All of them. And the surface here.

I remember, sticky buttons.
Feel, feel.

And-and also, this is a cold day...
Oh, that is...

...so this is not
at maximum stickiness.

Also, other thing
is there's always an orange

engine warning light is always on.

I think that's it.

Have you crashed it,
is there any damage?

Are we... bodily it's all good?
No, no...

...this was the one my dog crashed.

English bulldog, um,
Harvey my first one.

Yes. Exactly
how did he come to crash your car?

I've stopped the car in a layby,
in a parking zone

and for some reason
I'd put it in neutral

and I went round the back of the car
trying to get him out.

He's now jumped over.

As he jumped over,
he's nudged the stick into drive.

Wait,
and you're in the passenger seat?

I'm in the passenger seat.

He now sits on the accelerator.

Genius. He is now driving.
Yeah.

With his a*s on the accelerator.
Yeah.

So, we're now
accelerating at maximum.

So, we've hit a Renault Megane,

which hit a Golf GTI,
which hit a BMW 540,

and then the BMW then hits a skip
and the whole lot stops.

How did the police respond
to that story then?

Um, honestly my dog was driving.

No, I called up the insurance people
I said am I insured for that,

and he said, no I'm sorry
he's not a named driver.

[LAUGHS]

Tea.
Let's go and have some tea.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Johnny Vaughn's Maserati.
Oh, what a thing.

It's got its sticky gearstick knob
and button situation.

I have looked into it.

You can send it all
off to a specialised place

and have it all done, deep clean,
blah, blah, blah.

But I've got a plan
that I think might work,

so we're gonna give that a go first.

We've got this
very special chemical here,

which is, um, used by
aerospace industries.

Very special, NASA, I do believe.

It's kitchen cleaner,
but I think it's gonna do the job.

And I reckon
it's the plastic melted.

This is the oils in that plastic.
It's got hot in the sun.

That's working now look at that.

Better than sending it off.

That stuff probably cost less
than the postage to send it off.

We'll rebrand this now made in Italy
Maserati button cleaner



The thing is, Richard really
keen to get this job done

and done right,

because celebrity jobs

could be a really nice niche market
for the Cog.

And yes, yes,
they've all got plenty of money,

it's more about trust.

They want to take their cars
somewhere they can trust

and that's good for them,
good for us, and good for Richard.

That's my work done
and a job well done.

No more stickiness.

Next thing is I've got
to hand it over

to Isaac to sort out
the electrical issues,

and on an old Italian car well,
that's gonna be fun.

Best of luck, Isaac.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

So, I'm grabbing
a few minutes of peace.

A few rare minutes of peace
in my workshop at home,

um, to try and advance this project,
which has gone nowhere in weeks.

Also, to clear my mind,

because, er, we have coming up

tomorrow night
Zog's sponsorship event.

I need to raise at least ten grand,

just to cover costs
for the next few races.

And it all depends on
how Zog's event goes down.

Sadly,
Zog can't join us for the event.

Which is a shame 'cause I can't
laugh at him if it goes wrong.

On the plus side, it means

we're roughly half of our
champagne consumption.

I hope it does go well
because without money coming in,

it could be a premature end
to my racing ambitions.

Right, next shock absorber.
That goes over here.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

The biggest problem we got

with this car is the airbag light,

because with that on

you can't have an MOT.

It's not safe to drive.

So, we are on our way
to go and see Andy,

the auto electrician
with his, hopefully,

his new computer that should be
able to sort this,

er, airbag issue out.

There we go. We're in. Hello.

How are you doing, Isaac?
All good. Thank you, you?

I like it in here.
Look at all the bits and kit.

It's getting there.

So, this has got, er, airbag issue?

Yep. Still got the light on.

So, what we're gonna do,
we're gonna get the key.

And we're just gonna get the tester
and plug him into the OBD.

OK.
And see what happens.

Brilliant job.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

We're definitely
plugged in there, aren't we?

Yeah.

Because we've got no communications
whatsoever through the OBD.

No.

We're gonna have to go
and check some fuses

because we've got
no communications whatsoever.

The quick visit

to just gently plug it in has
escalated a little bit.

We've checked all the fuses.

We checked all the basics,
but we cannot get into the airbag.

Now, hopefully the worst scenario

is I think take
the airbag module out,

get a replacement one,
which is gonna be silly money,

or get it repaired and redone.

See you soon.

Take care mate,
take care, see you soon.

Right, so that
wasn't very successful at all.

That's not what I wanted.

If we can work out what it is

with that module and pinpoint it,

hopefully,
it'll be an efficient fix.

But I'm not... I'm not making
any promises to anyone.

If I can't work
this out and sort it out,

we'll end up having
to send it off to a specialist,

which isn't very good

for the start
of the new celebrity venture

for the workshop.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

It's brilliant
seeing our little MGB here

in the rotunda at the RAC.

It's where we launched the Delahaye,
when we'd done that.

This has had some very posh
racing cars.

So, Zog's invited a load of people
from around the motor industry,

all sorts of corners of it,

to come along for a drinks reception
this evening

with a view to selling
sponsorship on this car

to see if I can cover the costs
of racing again this year.

It's the only way
we can afford to do it.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

Ah! Team! Enter.

Guests are invited.

Our job is before they get here,

we've got to put
the stickers on the car

in the places we agreed
and then cover the car.

Lovely. Wing left.

Rear window right, drivers' side.

Rear window passenger side.

Rear left. Very back.

Right, so hang on,
you've messed it up

so that bit goes on the body.

So, you want this bit...
No.

No nope no?

That bit goes there, five is wrong,

that can't go on, you wouldn't
be able to see out, would you?

That's down here.

Right. That is the car done.

All the opportunities are indicated
according to the map.

Last thing to do
because they're going to be here

in a minute,
let's get a cover on it.

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

Thank you for making it.
How are you, you OK?

They're looking for sponsorship,
Richard's invited you here

he said he could more or less
guarantee on you

for chipping in 50k.

We get you another champagne.

Thank you for coming this evening,
I'm very glad you could.

I'm excited,
it's going to be standing round

and drink, help yourself.

Yes, we've met before,
nice to see you.

[HITS WINE GLASS]

Do you realise it's the first time
I've ever actually done that,

and it works?

So, if you'd like to follow me,
come through here to the rotunda.

Follow me.

Thank you for coming
first of all, everybody.

The reason I've invited you, er,

to ply you with drops
of free champagne,

is to announce, first of all,

announcement is that
The Smallest Cog

classic car restoration workshop
last year we went racing,

in an MGB GT.

And the good and exciting news
for us

is that I wanted to share is that
we are doing it again this year.

There have been some changes
to the drivers.

Anthony will once again be racing,

but he'll be joined
by as his co-driver, me.

We've outlined the opportunities
for sponsorship on our car.

We've marked it up with places
where your logo could be,

everywhere where it says
your name here.

We have set up a ballot box,

which is down by the room
where we were as you came in.

You'll find next to it are cards

referring to each of these spots
on the car.

They will be sealed.
We will put them in the box.

We'll have a look at them
over the next few days

and obviously be in touch
with the successful bidders.

So, have a lovely evening.
Thank you for coming.

The bar remains open.

If you do feel like sponsoring
forms are over there.

Thank you for coming.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERFUL MUSIC]

I thought it was a brilliant speech.

He delivered it well,

and I'm confident
we'll get a few sponsors.

I could hear a few mumbles
in the background.

Some positive words.
So, we shall find out.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, yes.
Are you modelling.

You are actually modelling.
Have you got a sticker?

I'm just showing this here, that.
There they.

Have you sold it yet?
Not yet.

You've literally sold your a*s.
We're selling it for the acre.

We could be quids in here.

By the acre
you'll make a lot of money.

We could retire on this.

I'm telling you.
[LAUGHTER]

There is someone filling one
in right now.

Is it... is it?

Is there stuff in there?
Ooh...

Is there actually some in there?
It's a bit weighty?

There is weight in there.

I think it worked, I really do.

But the fact of the matter
is, you look after that.

Yeah.
Take it home with you.

Will do.
I'll see you at the workshop...

...tomorrow sometime.
Yeah.

But meanwhile,
I've got important work down there

in or near the bar.

Yeah.
Well done.

Thank you. Cheers, Rich.

Good job.
That was good.

That was worth doing.
See you tomorrow.

Maybe. Probs.

Don't get drunk.
No.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Right.

Team, these are the envelopes
from our little box at the RAC.

These are the bids
to be our sponsors.

There is the, Isaac, um,
blue Peter style thermometer.

Right. I'm going to open mine first.

Drum roll.




For location 14.



Oh!

That's 100 pounds.

Neil Greenhouse.

I wonder what the rest
of me would be worth.

I sold your backside for 100 pounds.

Oh!

Oh. Alright.

On the boot.



I've beaten you, mate.

I'm having a sticker
put upon my helmet.


Let's have another one!

We're half-way to 1,000.





OK, that's the mugs.

Tea mugs, 200 pounds.

Oh, hey, that's not bad. Is it?
That's not bad for a tea mug.



Oh, hello.

Fill in the next one, Isaac.

Big ones now.
That's now, you see.

Spot number one.

Where is that?

Bonnet.
Bonnet!



Two, which is the roof,
and seven, which is the rear left.



This is four grand. He's gone
off the top of his little thing.

Wow.

Four grand.
Yes.

Thank you chaps, that is...

Is that the last envelope?

No, no. One more to go.

Well, wait a minute. Er...

Ooh, now that is interesting.





Seriously
thousands? Thousands?

I'm lost...
I'm lost for words.

Isaac.
What does that come to?

Oh...



Whoa.
What?





Just shy of 23,000 pounds.

That's a lot of money.
We are covered for racing.

That is incredible.

So, now we've got to spend
their money wisely for them,

by doing well and also
for our one sake,

our point is to demonstrate

that this is us,
come and us, we are great.

Because look our car looks fantastic

and with all these cool sponsors
on it and look at us,

we're doing alright.

Brilliant. Well done, everybody.

Good. Carry on.
Good.

Let's get back to work.
Yep.

Well, that, um, that was a surprise.

I thought it might, you know,
go towards transport or something.

I didn't think it would be...

it turned out
to be quite significant.

That's-that's a lot.

Does bring a bit of pressure.
Now, we've got to deliver.

It's-it's a bit more serious now.

Johnny's Maserati.

We took it to an auto electrician.

He couldn't communicate with it,

and he's never dealt
with anything like that before.

And it's always good
when they start saying,

oh, it-it needs to be used
with Ferrari Diagnostics,

which, no, that's just scary,

we don't want
to be involved in that.

That's thousands of thousands
of pounds of nightmare.

So, after quite a lot of research,

it all leads to the airbag module
itself.

So, we take that one out,

swap this over, and fingers crossed
the airbag light will be out

and then we can finally
get the car out the workshop.

Right come on Maserati,
play ball here.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Now, all that's left to do
is fit this one.

And hopefully,
this solves our issue.

I hope this works.

Here we go. Maserati.
Alright. Come on.

[ENGINE REVS]

It works.

All the lights out. Look at that.

And hopefully Harvey
the dog is watching over the car now

in doggie heaven and he loves it.

Right, so now I've got to put
all the interior back in,

and then we can service
it and it can go.

Finally.

Right, I'm going for a lie-down.

[TENSE MUSIC]

It is race weekend.

I'm excited.

Genuinely, I'm not.

I'm-I'm anxious,
but it's a good excited.

There is pressure...

obviously.

I've only ever driven the car once.

I don't particularly
want to crash it. It's my car.

Also, I'd be letting the guys down
rather badly.

And also of course now

I'd be letting our new sponsors down
rather badly.

They haven't put their money
into our race team

for me to throw the thing
at the pit lane wall

at the first opportunity.

Oh, here it is. Oulton Park.

Morning.
Good morning.

How are you feeling?
Alright.

It's gonna be easier
when we've got the car.

While we've been busy
securing sponsorship,

our resident motorsport guru, Ric,

has been doing some last-minute
fine-tuning to the MGB.

I think that's him.
That's Ric.

There he is. There he is.

Which one's the one on 'Star Wars'?
What gives you advice?

Is it Yoda?

He is our Yoda.
Yoda!

Hello. Welcome mate, nice to see ya.

Right, let's have a look at it.

Do we look professional?
We do.

So, the purpose
of today race day tomorrow,

testing day today.

We're testing the car,

giving it a shakedown,
learning about it.

But we're also testing us,

'cause you've driven
the car a fair bit.

I've only driven the car once

with neither of us driven
at Oulton Park.

Is that bad that we haven't driven
at Oulton Park or is it alright?

It's a big, sharp learning curve.

OK, sharp learning curve for us.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Here we are again,
we're at another race track.

I had a chat with my old racing
teacher, Abby Eaton,

and she said all the tracks
we've done in the past

are probably difficulty six
out of ten,

Oulton is an eight out of ten,

which automatically I felt sick.

It's not my first time driving,

Doris the MG,
it's Richard's first time,

so I feel the pressure
has shifted slightly to him,

and everyone here is gonna be
watching him more than me.

[GROANS]

Right.

No rivalry. But I don't want
Richard Hammond to beat me.

I'm still going out
for a quicker time.

My plan is gonna get out
and drive as close to granny pace

as I dare, feel
my way into it slowly.

Hammond, do not overdo it.

Go steady.

I'll try.

Well, not too steady.

This is it then, I'm going
out on the track for real now,

rather than the last few times
I've done it...

on the computer.

This is weird.

Oh, this is glorious.

Here he comes.

Going well, isn't he?

[LAUGHS] This is superb.

Interesting to see what this lap is.

I thought we weren't timing this.

We're not.
Well, you are.

There's no competition at all,
obviously.

The thing is, at the end of the day,

you don't want, you know,
Niki Lauda

and James Hunt type rivalry.

But a little bit of rivalry
isn't a bad thing.

It's Friday
and everyone has gone racing.

We still got this Rolls-Royce
to do today,

so it's not the best for them
to be going away.

It's gonna be a bit
of a mammoth hill to climb.

We just haven't got the time.

We're so far behind at the moment.

Deadline is

massively creeping up on us.

I suppose someone's got

to guard the fort. But...

yeah, we're under quite
a lot of pressure now

I think, we haven't got long.

I hope when they come back
from racing,

they're happy to all jump back
on and get this out the door.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

With a few laps under my belt,

I'm starting to get to grips
with the car and the track.

So, it's time to hand over
to young Anthony.

I reckon he won't be hanging around.

There he is.

Didn't sound very good.

Like he'd slowed down there.

Did it sound wrong?
Didn't sound right.

It's coming in, coming in.
Coming in, coming in.

Oh, dear.

Come out the last corner,
she just went ba ba bang.

Oh, hello.
Oh, that's not good, head gasket.

So, head gasket...

Oh, yeah, god.
Gone, kerplunk!

So, um, if the head gasket has gone.

Do we have another head gasket?

Yes. I ordered it yesterday...

...it's there at the workshop.

Luckily for us, Ric's workshop
is only 50 minutes down the road,

which gives us a fighting chance
of fixing the engine

ahead of the race tomorrow.

But it's given us another problem.

This wasn't for us actually,
about testing the car,

it's about testing us,

about Anthony learning the track

and me learning the track
and the car.

So, we will be not
as experienced as we should be

when we race tomorrow.

It's alright. Sponsors are looking.

It's nobody's fault.
It's just one of those things.

The good thing is you can't see
any cracks in the cylinder head

and no cracks in the block.

So, you need something
that's fixable.

But even this is like
open heart surgery

on the side of the road

because, you know,
one little mistake now,

big consequences.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Professional.
I like it, hello.

Good morning. Neil, morning.

Oh, morning.

How are we?

Yeah, not so bad.
So, what is the score?

The score is...

I think we've got a good chance
of doing the race.

Ric and Neil have replaced
the head gasket,

but yesterday's problem also damaged
the engine block,

so it's anybody's guess
if the car will last the race.

I'm excited for this one.

I know we've got an issue
with the car,

but we're here to race
and today is not

about getting a trophy
or nothing like that,

because it's Richard's first race.

It's my first time at Oulton
and so if we can get to the finish,

I'll see
that as an achievement again.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Excited.
I'm genuinely looking forward it.

I'd be more relaxed
if I could get this attached, go on.

Isaac.
Yeah?

I can't get my thing on.

Could it be?

No, no, that way.

Ah, OK yeah, being a bit thick?

Hold on. Yeah.
Right.

Like a pro.

There is a professional
racing driver there

that I know really well.

I'm not saying he was a Stig,
but he was.

And he's laughing at me.

I'm not laughing at you.
Stop it!

I'm not!

In order to qualify for the race,

both Anthony and I need to get
three timed laps under our belts.

Here we go. This is it.

Through these barriers
out onto the track.

It's qualifying only Richard.

We're not racing yet, remember that.

This will be a timed lap,
so he'll have a good time, I think.

Richard's very humble.

Despite what he says he does know
what he's doing.

But watching him

just these first laps actually,

he was on in a bit of a crowd.

He's in an unfortunate spot

on the track
in the qualifying session

with people in his way.

But he's managed to control
that really well.

It's busy.

I don't think I got one clear lap,

in fact I didn't.

But it was great fun. I loved it.

Can't wait for the race.

Coming now, isn't he?





Bloody hell. That's a result.

[LAUGHS] 216,



Where's he put us? Nice.

That's good, isn't it?
That's really good.

Really good.
That's good news.

Nice. Excellent. Good. Hurrah!

Our lap times mean we've qualified


Not a bad start.

And the engine hasn't exploded...
yet.

So, plan will be I'm gonna
be starting amidst 42 cars.

I will try very hard, first
and foremost not to get clobbered.

Just survive,
just survive the first few laps.

[ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA]

[TENSE MUSIC]

My only real moment of relief

it's going to be getting
through that first corner.

First right hander.


into it as fast as they can go

on a freshly damp track
on fairly cold tyres.

Right. Here we go.

God, this is brilliant.

Right. I am on the starting grid.

Red lights are on.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

He's gone past quite a few cars.

That was brilliant!

Well, we're away, I'm doing it.

Sorry, mate.
He's got a problem.

Come on, Doris.

Little Triumph. Wahey!

Go on lad!

[LAUGHS]

That's your lot there, Reg.




Good lad.

All I want to do is pass this.

Get it. Get it. Get it.

I'm gonna get it.

There you go! It's done.

That's you done.

Absolutely loving this.

[LAUGHS]



Going quicker.

I think we call him in.

He's coming in and stop.

God, I loved
that, every second of it.

Even when it rained.

Well done, mate, well done.

My job is done.

It's now up to Anthony
to bring it home.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

He's doing a 17.
He's doing alright.

Good.

Third in class, 22nd.

Right. Third in class.



That's good.
That's really good.


Bloody hell. Well done, Ant.

That is the chequered flag.

There it is!

Still third in class.

Go on fella, get
it across the line this time.

And we are done.

There's Anthony!

Go on fella!

[LAUGHS]

We finished another race,

we finished another race.

Brilliant!
We bloody did it!

Well done, everybody.

Whoa!

I could get used to this.



Fab.

That's a result.
That's P3. That's podium.

Richard did a great stint.

And Ant has done a really good job,
spitting with rain.

You never know how much
it's dropped on the-the next corner.

So, he's brought it home.
It's great.

Really chuffed.

The-the whole team's done
really well.

Pulled together.

I'm really proud of
what they've achieved

over the weekend.

So, really well done.

Thank you very much.

Already got mine.
Well, cheers all.

To racing and to finishing
and to being placed.

Technically on the podium.

I mean, that's that-that is.
That's good.

I've eaten mine already.

Did you just inhale it?
It's actually gone.

That's two races
in a row now we finished.

So, this is showing as a team
we're progressing.

It's getting better and better.

I loved it,
I loved being in the zone,

in the moment, away from it all.

And if the business' purpose
now is for me to support that,

to make that possible, I'm happy.

This is brilliant fun.
This is why we do it.

I need more of this, which means
I need to make the business work.

Simple as that.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

So, Johnny Vaughan's Maserati

managed the motorway fine

but I am now
in snarling London traffic.

I want to go into his radio
show and hand him the keys,

but I can't do that if his radio
show is finished.

I've got to get right across
from West London to the centre

in the rain, in an old Italian car,
in time.

I have been given
strict instructions

to get to the studio
to be on Johnny Vaughn's show

and hand over the keys at 6:20.

Current ETA, 6:25.

Um... That'll do.

Oh, going in.
Oh, I'm coming in!

Hello!
Hello!

Radio X.

I'm Johnny Vaughan
this is The 4till7 Thang.

Er, Richard Hammond's just
literally walked to the studio.

Hi Richie.
I walked in casually.

I hope you saw?
It was really casual.

I kind of... did I sashay?

Yeah.
The swagger of a champ.

The swagger.
That's the word.

He had the swagger of a champion.
I swaggered. Yeah.

How are you?

I haven't seen you since my trip
to your workshop.

I'm very well indeed.
Thank you. How are you?

Not too bad.
Have you brought my car back?

Yes.
What's in the envelope?

No don't tell me that's the invoice.

It's the bill, mate.

I thought this would be
like showbiz freebie.

No, you see, this is the real world.

This is the bill
in the brown envelope.

Oh, my god it actually is a tax.

You are a shocker.

And that's...
Oh!

Oh, wait a second
ladies and gentlemen,

it's an MOT test certificate!

Yay!
Yay!!

It's parked just down the road.
What?

Hazards on, that's alright
in London, isn't it?

You can park where you like,

I don't know,
I'm from Herefordshire.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Ford Escort RS2000.

What this car is,

is a big blue slice of humble pie.

Wahey, here we go.

We are properly up against
it with the Rolls Royce.

This deadline is a deadline,
you cannot move D-Day.

To the wire
doesn't quite cover this one.

'Cause if there's a mistake
now there's no fixing it.

[CLOSING MUSIC]