26x08 - Stolen Show, Stolen Hearts, Stolen Motorcycles

[bunniefuu]

- Previously onthe real world....

- ♪ I am just a beggar who'll accept anything I can get ♪

- I am just so happy to be doing something

That feels like me.

- That's awesome. [Applause]

[Laughter]

- You might actually get some free tickets.

This is so fun.

Michelle's hot.

And she thinks she's a person of authority over me.

So, clearly, I'm going to attack this with brute flirt.

- Hi.

Dylan is an ex-boyfriend of mine,

And he's kind of creeping back into my life.

- Priscilla's told me that she likes nerdy guys.

I just didn't know that we were

Pulling actors fromharry potter.

- I don't know what I want from dylan,

Maybe I am leading dylan on.

Hmm.

- This is the true story...

[Laughter]

- Of seven strangers.

- Greatest idea ever!

- Picked to live in a house.

- Don't tell me what to do!

- Work together.

- Score!

- And have their lives taped.

- The house is on fire!

- Find out what happens...

- You guys are so gross.

- Wow!

- When people stop being polite.

- Make a move, I'm gonna explode.

- And start getting real.

-The real world...

All: san diego!

- [Laughter]

[Puppies bark]

- Ah, that stuff smells so bad.

- What is that [bleep]? - [Laughs]

- I want it to be foggy in here.

- Pina colada?

- You never know.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

No. - [Coughing]

- [Indistinct], they wake up and it's foggy.

- Get out. You can finish the bottle if you get out.

- [Laughs] - [coughs]

- Did you see that ninja work?

[Upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[Doorbell rings]

- You got a haircut.

- I did. - I told priscilla that

When I looked at you through the window.

- Oh.

- She's not even close to being ready.

I'll be your host today.

- Thank you.

- We played ping-pong in here last night.

- It's very clean, by the way.

- Hi. - Hey.

Someone? - Sam did.

Sam did? Hi. - Yeah.

- What's going on?

Dylan and I officially broke up

Last summer before he left to school.

He completely just disappeared and didn't talk to me anymore.

Didn't return phone calls.

And, I mean, that was hard and that was painful.

- Oh, she told me to say hi to you.

- Really? - Yeah.

She's like, "you know I always liked priscilla."

- So, it's safe to say that she's rooting for me?

[Laughs]

- Pretty--i think she's rooting for me.

Now, does it get redundant if I tell you you look great

Every time I see you?

- [Laughs]

No, I like it. Please continue.

- I think you look great.

You look [bleep] fantastic.

- Thank you.

- What? No.

- "I have to tell her she looks pretty enough."

- What?

- Did you do what I think you did?

- [Slaps table] - [laughs]

- I knew it!

Oh, my god. No, you didn't.

- I didn't go the bathroom. - You went up to go

To the bathroom, you gave them your card.

Oh, my god. - Yeah.

[Both laughing]

- Thank you, have a good one. - Thank you very much.

- You know? - Yeah.

- It kind of in a way makes me feel like I need to know

What I want or what I'm doing in the next three weeks.

- No, no.

I've given you a lot of reason

To want to hold back.

So I get it.

I just hope that if I don't hold back,

You'll see it's okay.

What?

- ♪ Some people call me crazy ♪

- ♪ Some people call me crazy ♪

- ♪ I'm waiting ♪ - ♪ I don't wanna say it ♪

- ♪ Can't get over you ♪

♪ And I don't wanna say it ♪

- ♪ And I don't wanna say it ♪

- ♪ Waiting ♪ - ♪ some people call me crazy ♪

- I am in a newly-formed band.

And our name is alex and the hats.

And we've been rehearsing and preparing to perform.

And we're really starting to just vibe.

You know the songs are starting to sound like songs.

♪ ♪

Yeah, yeah!

♪ If you see a shadow ♪

♪ While you're warm in bed ♪

♪ Ooh, you pull your blankets over your head ♪

♪ I want somebody bad ♪ - ♪ I want somebody as ♪

All: ♪ me-me-messed up in the head as ♪

♪ Me-me-messed up and as scared as ♪

♪ Me-me-messed up in the head as ♪

- A little while ago, I'd sent some music over

To one of the guys who's arranging a show

With the surf shop.

It's going to be my first performance, ever.

I'm not expecting people to even like it,

But I really hope that they do.

[Guitar breaks] - ♪ broken guitar ♪

- [Gasps] already. - Buzz k*ll.

- That's cool, though.

- Is he still in there?

- Yeah.

But they're canoodling.

- Canoodling, huh?

- Priscilla. - What?

- Have you done laundry yet?

- No.

- You should just have dylan do it.

- I just got dylan to do my laundry.

[Giggles]

- What? - He's washing my stuff.

- What a b*tch.

- And my undies, yes.

- Dylan's doing your laundry?

- He's washing my panties and everything. [Laughs]

- Is he gonna press them and fold them?

- [Laughs] sure. - What a b*tch.

You got him whipped.

- I just asked him to.

- You just asked him to?

- And he was like, "I actually don't care."

- Oh, my gosh.

- And I'm like--

- You have him whipped.

Dylan needs to go to the doctor

And get his testosterone levels checked.

Two and a half months of dirty laundry.

Do you know how disgusting that would smell if that were mine?

I would even put that on my mom.

Gotta find me a redhead. [Laughs]

Dylan, I got some laundry,

You wanna throw mine in there too?

Hey, dylan, our sinks are pretty dirty too,

If you wanna get those next.

- He's just being nice to me.

[Washer humming]

- Are you sure these sheets are clean?

- Yeah. - Am I gonna get--

- They're brand new. - Am I gonna get gingeritis?

- No. [Giggles]

[Phone rings]

- Frank we gotta go to work, let's go.

- I'm waiting for everyone else to file out.

I don't even give a [bleep].

Hi, michael, it's frank.

- I hope you have tons of energy.

- I am calling because you haven't

Picked up your phone all day, it's really pissing me off.

And you're gonna leave a message tonight

Or it's going to piss me off even more.

Shut it!

- I'm drivin'. Let's go.

- I'm gonna talk to you about tuesday.

You guys will be working the warped tour

So that's down in chula vista at the amphitheater.

Um, we're gonna put some q.r. Codes on you.

It's a marketing kind of thing that we're gonna do.

- We're all gonna get barcode that can be scanned.

- We have a t-shirt that you can wear

That also has the q.r. Code on it.

- And you will just walk around, interact with people,

And, basically, every person that scans it

Is gonna get a free ticket to one of our shows.

- Whoever gets the most scans

Actually gets $ in cash.

- Just gonna walk around and have fun with it, though.

You know what I mean?

- I'll put mine right up my...

- Bucks, cool.

- Work hard.

Get out there, get aggressive.

And the person with the most scans...

- I know.

[Overlapping conversation]

- All right, I'm down.

- Let's just have a time. - That's perfect.

- $.

- Dude, you gotta jump right in.

- Some of the guys talking, I knew exactly what's going on.

- [Whispering] - it's much better.

- That's very true.

- Like we always do.

- [Laughing] like we always do.

- Zach, nate, frank, and I

Formed this alliance that we're going to

Just get everyone to scan ashley.

Well, we'll just scan the whole day.

We'll win the money and then we'll split it.

[Phone ringing]

- Hello? - Baby.

I just got home.

- How was you day? - It was good.

- I talked to your mom today.

- Oh, really? How was it?

- Oh, she was just saying that uh,

Your cousin needs some school fees.

- Oh, I need to send more money over?

- Yeah, I know.

- Which cousin? - So what's the, uh--

- Wait, which cousin needs school fees?

- Oh, to p--

Well, I think she was saying-- I could never pronounce,

Uh, zimbabwean names.

- We have the contest to win like $.

$ Would pay for so many people's school fees there.

But I just don't think that I can win that.

I'm gonna try though. [Laughs]

$ Is a lot, a lot of money in zimbabwe.

That could send my cousins to school for the year.

- As long as you believe in yourself.

You have a lot of people, myself definitely included,

That, you know, care about you and believe in you.

So you shouldn't give up.

- I love you baby.

Good night, baby. - All right, bye.

- Coming up onthe real world...

- Is this it?

- Dylan has this stupid little motorbike.

Why not just take it and hide it?

- [Laughs]

- Dude, dylan's filing a police report.

- Oh, [bleep]!

[Doorbell rings]

- It's dyl-pop!

You want me to get it, scrillas?

- Ooh, is it dyl-pickle?

- Dyl-pickle's here.

Dyl-pop.

- Did you get up early to make brownies?

Were they already made-- you really got up

This morning to make them? - Mm-hmm.

- [Laughs] thank you.

- Yeah, no problem.

- Dylan is just a giver, you know?

Not only does dylan make a fabulous brownie.

- He makes me good brownies,

He makes me good cookies, and I love him--keep him around.

Pricilla likes the little ginger.

Like a little skinny ginger in his tight jeans and his flannel.

He weighs three pounds, he has patent leather shoes on,

And he comes running through our house

And spreads fairy dust everywhere he farts.

- You're not gonna say no?

- Saw you guys making out.

- [Laughs] - it was hot.

- Oh, yeah.

Only for you.

- I don't believe that. - No?

- I don't believe those are for me.

- Good for you, buddy. Good for you.

- [Laughs]

[Laughter]

- Bye.

- I don't even see y'all, man.

- What do you say? - Trav.

- I'm glad you called me that.

- I heard you were tongue-spanking your pickle.

- Only lightly.

- It was not lightly. I heard it.

Not only got to see it, I heard it.

- [Chuckles]

[Doorbell rings]

- 'Sup guys? - What's going on?

- Are you guys excited?

- Yeah, show day.

- Hello. - Hello.

- What's going on? I'm not dressed yet.

Today, we will be having our first performance ever

At the bird rock surf shop.

And my best friends are coming to watch.

It's really gonna calm me down.

- Tova!

Hello! Oh, my gosh!

Tova is my other half.

She is like my sister.

She's everything to me, I miss her more than words.

- How are you? - I miss you so much.

I'm gonna cry.

I think its gonna be really cool for her to see these songs

That she's only heard in the living room

Or heard me singing while I'm in the shower.

- [Laughs] - thanks for coming down today.

That's awesome. - That's all right.

Give me a hug!

I'm so excited. It's your first show.

- I miss you. - Ohh.

[Sizzling]

[Dog whimpers]

- Test, test. [Mic feedback]

[Singing indistinctly]

- There we go. - ♪ No ♪

- ♪ No ♪

- I'm trying not to act nervous

Because I feel like if I admit to being nervous,

It'll make it worse.

But I just, you know,

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that, um...

That it will go cool.

Hello, guys, sorry for the hold up.

[Cheers and applause]

[Guitar strumming]

- We made it. - I am alex.

- This is pat and kevin.

And we are alex and the hats.

And this is actually our very first time performing, ever,

Outside of the living room where my roommate over there

Listens to me and probably gets annoyed by me all the time.

- Yeah. - Yeah. [Laughs]

- One, two, three, four...

- ♪ I am just a beggar who accepts anything I can get ♪

♪ And if I must, I'll steal the rest, it's true ♪

♪ So, you can let me have it hard ♪

♪ Or I can snatch it in the dark ♪

♪ But either way I'm getting all of you ♪

♪ Now, all I want to do is take ♪

♪ A hundred hearts and watch 'em break ♪

♪ How you feel is none of my concern ♪

Nuh-uh. - Nuh-uh.

- ♪ Remember when we lived with each other like ♪

♪ Like when we use to give to each other right ♪

♪ You and I staying in this time of night ♪

♪ So lovey-dovey, we kissed in the candlelight ♪

♪ Love turned into like, turned into fights ♪

♪ Turned into good-bye, turned into black ♪

♪ Turned to attack, now it's so gray ♪

♪ And I want you back just ♪

- Watching alexandra perform, I'm taken aback by it.

Like, we all know her songs,

But to see her actually, like, in front of the public is...

Honestly, it's a beautiful thing.

- ♪ Yeah eh eh ♪

♪ Eh eh eh eh ♪

♪ Eh eh eh eh eh ♪

[Cheers and applause]

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

That was my first time ever performing for anyone!

That felt nice. [Laughs]

- One, two, three, four.

- ♪ I want somebody bad, I want somebody as ♪

All: ♪ me-me-messed up in the head as ♪

♪ Me-me-messed up and as scared as ♪

♪ Me-me-messed up in the head as ♪

♪ [Indistinct] ♪

♪ Maybe I'm a looney after all ♪

- Alex and the hats, they are rocking out.

Doing their thing, and the energy is unreal.

- This is alex. - Give it up for alex.

- This is alex and the hats.

[Cheers and applause]

- We like hats! Do you like hats?

- Mm...

I'm gonna cry.

I am crying.

Oh, my gosh.

[Tearful laugh]

That's so awesome.

I've always thought that I wanted to do something

Kind of behind the scenes and--

And shy away from the spotlight

Or anything like that.

But I know now, with % certainty,

That I want to sing and I want to perform.

- You did such a good job.

- I did okay? - It was amazing.

- I don't even care if I was good or bad.

I'm just so...

- I am so proud of you.

- I can't believe that I can do that.

[Laughs]

- Thank you so much for coming.

Oh, my gosh.

- I told you. - It was so awesome.

- I was just the happiest camper.

- Aww.

- [Slurping]

- Can you please drink that any more sexually?

Because I am [bleep]. [Laughter]

Oh, man.

- Is this it? - Yeah.

- [Laughs]

- Dylan has this stupid little motorbike

That he rides in and saves his princess priscilla on.

And so why not just take it and hide it?

- Little prank, just a little one.

- Brake's on. - Yeah, kick it.

- How'd the brake go on? - Gotta get the key?

- No, we don't have the key 'cause it's not ours.

[All laugh]

- This one dude's just standing out in his yard,

Looking at us like we're all a bunch of dumbasses.

He's like, "why don't you guys just throw it in my driveway?"

"Can we?"

He's like, "hell, yeah!"

We're like, "this guy is cool."

- Keep going, keep going, don't stop, keep going.

Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, don't stop.

- Got it. - Pretty cool.

[Laughter]

- Yes. - Or "sold" sign.

- [Laughs]

- Yeah, we got something.

- I'm excited. - I know, I'm excited.

- Oh, my god.

- No idea what's coming at her.

- Cloaked, cloaked.

- That is awesome!

- This is gonna be so hard to keep a straight face.

So hard.

I mean, "dude, somebody took my bike."

[Laughing] okay, let's just--okay.

- No, you--you can keep a straight face.

I will sell that [bleep] hard.

[Indistinct chatter]

- Can I get more pretzels thrown at me?

I'm hungry. - Ah!

- [Laughing] - how worse can I get?

- Okay, I'm gonna throw a scenario at you.

Dylan comes back here and jujit--

And knows jujitsu-- and kicks our a*s.

[All laugh]

- Dylan, sam, and myself

Are walking home from alex's show,

When we turn the corner,

And dylan's bike is gone.

- Is it there?

Oh, no.

- Dylan's freaking out.

I feel so bad.

I mean, his bike's stolen.

- Oh, my god, dude.

[Knocks on door]

Dude, dylan's filing a police report.

- No!

- Yeah, the cops are in the street.

- Oh [bleep]! [Bleep]!

- We're gonna get arrested. - Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, [bleep].

- [Laughing] oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

- Dylan's bike is gone.

- [Laughing]

- Like, he's filling out a police report right now.

- What? What happened?

- If you see someone driving it

Or you see it parked, don't hop on it and drive it anywhere.

Call us, so we can take it out of the system.

'Cause if you get pulled over,

You're gonna get g*ns pointed at you.

And I'm sure you don't want that.

- Did you ask the neighbor it was in front of

If they maybe had it towed?

- Since he was here, I just went straight to him.

- Huh? - 'Cause if it's towed,

Then they'll be able to...

- So it'll be in their record? - Yeah.

- Once I see that the cops are involved,

I am a little bit nervous.

It is technically more than a $,,

Which qualifies it for grand theft auto.

I think one of us is about to do some time for this.

- This is crazy.

- You would think that they have these mansions,

That they wouldn't be taking a motorcycle?

- That's what I'm saying.

- It would take at least three really strong guys

To move that motorcycle.

- I'd be pissed if somebody did that to my bike.

- Hey, did you guys see anybody, like, take a bike?

- Her boyfriend's bike-- I think it got towed

Or stolen or something.

- That green one? - Yeah.

- I bought it. - That had a helmet on it?

I bought it and sold it to that other guy over there.

- No, you-- what? No, you didn't!

- Yeah, I buy and sell things all the time, man--i'm a trader.

- [Laughing] he sold it.

Perfect.

- Go get dylan. - Yeah, go get dylan.

- If you guys get some money together, we maybe could make--

- No, he's talking to the cops right now.

- Well, get his a*s away from 'em.

[Slams window]

- Oh...my...god. - Okay, well,

We thought this neighbor was cool. This sucks.

- [Laughing]

- Priscilla, you should get dylan.

- Go get him. - For wha--oh, my god.

- To get the cops over here,

Because this guy [...] Sold the bike, priscilla.

- [Laughs] - jesus.

- Dylan.

Hey, dylan.

They want us to go that way because the neighbor...

Claims that he sold it.

And they wanna talk to you.

- Oh, my god I love [bleep] with gingies.

This--this had to happen.

- I was like, where's your bike?

He goes, "it's gone." - [Laughs]

- How much money did you spend on that bike?

- Uh, ,. - Oh, ouch.

- All paid for.

So, I heard you sold my bike or--

What happened there? - The guy hasn't paid me yet.

- Are you aware that I just filed a stolen vehicle report?

And I'm actually gonna

Call the police right now and tell them--

- You want a piece of corn?

'Cause you've been punk'd, dude.

[All laugh]

- Your bike is where the crank is.

- Yes!

- "You want a piece of corn?" [Laughs]

- I hate you, and you, and you!

- Yay!

- Oh, we're writing a song? - What you like to do?

- No, we're writing you a song to sing.

You want to? - Oh, yeah.

- You want to 'cause-- - yeah, I want to.

- Yeah, what do you want it be about? Dylan?

- [Laughs] about dylan?

Alexandra and the band helped me write my first song.

And I am so excited.

Honestly, it is a feeling of being unsure.

And then just not knowing, and so it's like...

[Guitar strumming]

Should you stay or should you go?

It's not like I wanna see it in your eyes.

[Indistinct chatter]

- ♪ Should you stay, should you go, I don't know ♪

♪ I wanna see it in your eyes ♪

- Yeah, there you go, you just did it.

Ready? Here goes.

Both: ♪ should you stay, should you go, I don't know ♪

♪ I wanna see it in your eyes ♪

- Writing songs really puts

All your emotions on the table.

It lays everything out.

It even really helps you figure out what you're thinking.

Both: ♪ I should know to wait ♪

♪ You're a heartbreak I anticipate ♪

- The song is about-- about dylan

And about uncertainty in a relationship.

Yay, prilly!

I hope that it will give her space to explore

How important he is to her and how important she is to him.

- I'm putting this on my wall.

[Giggles]

[Crowd chatter]

- ♪ You've got lunch with your sister tomorrow ♪

♪ So we can't be up late ♪

♪ You don't mind if I sleep in ♪

♪ But then I've gotta pack my things ♪

♪ So I stacked a bukowski... ♪

- Can we cut it up and make it into a headband?

- But if you want to, then go ahead.

- Oh, my god. - What color am i?

Frank, you gonna be purple? I want pink.

- So each one of us get a barcode,

And we have to go around get people

To scan us with their smart phones.

Whoever gets the most scans out of the group gets bucks.

- Who's got the shirt? Give one to ashley.

- I have a shirt. - One to nate...

And I'll be-- hey, I'll reel 'em in,

I'll just pick people off.

- Do you want me to take the shirt?

- There's no competition.

Ashley's way hotter than anybody else here.

We got zach who will just

Intimidate some people to get in it.

I got personality, and frank's got the g*y card.

Team purple is killin' it!

- You wanna team up?

Wanna wear this shirt, and I use the--

- I'm riding solo.

- Oh...ohh.

So much better when we team.

- Alex is my girl, but...

I...i got to be smart about it.

And I would rather use ashley's boobies to my advantage.

I'm sorry, there's $ on the line.

- If you team up with me,

I'll give you % of the winnings.

- %? - Yeah.

I would absolutely love to win this because

I would love to be able to send that money home to my family.

- This game sucks.

I hate-- I hate competitions.

- ♪ And this is my last remaining filter ♪

♪ On my last remaining words ♪

♪ It's leaving the taste of something bitter on my tongue ♪

♪ If I had any other heart ♪ [cheers and applause]

♪ If any other piece spoke louder ♪

♪ If I had any other hands ♪

- Do you guys have smart phones?

- If you scan this, you win free tickets.

At this point, the main competition is alex.

- Do either of you guys have the barcode scanner

Up on your smart phone and want free concert tickets?

- Yeah.

- I feel like we can beat her, no matter what,

Because there's four of us against one person.

That's the name of the game, you know, this is a competition.

- Yeah, you got 'em, whoo! - Whoo!

- My man! - Yeah.

- Hey, you gotta go to a concert with someone, right?

- Go like this, then? - Just scan.

Yeah, awesome.

- I win money, and you win free tickets.

[Phone beeps] - thank you so much.

I really appreciate it. [Laughs]

'Cause we're competing against each other.

- You have a barcode scanner?

- Ooh, scan me. - Scan this.

Got it. - Wanna--yes!

- Those are all going?

Oh, awesome. There's like ten.

Whoo hoo! Thank you so much.

- Awesome. - Have a great day.

- Ashley and I realize that

When you get someone's phone, you can make infinite scans.

And all of the scans that you make register.

So, we decide to take one person's phone

And get as many scans as possible on each phone.

- You can scan that like, times in, like, two seconds.

You can scan as many times you want.

- Shh.

- Who's bored? Not nate.

- Oh, come on, i-- - what?

- Come on! That is from my house.

What if I need that? - Oh, that's from her house.

- I didn't know that!

I thought that was provided.

- I think that nate and michelle

Are extremely horny for each other.

- [Giggles]

- They're ready to jump down each other's throats,

And michelle's trying to be a good girl and be our boss.

But there's no fraternization policy at the house of blues.

So it turns out you can get in your boss's pants.

Let just get them as they come out of the toilet.

[Laughter]

- Do you have smart phone? - [Laughs] smart phone?

- You can get free tickets to the house of blues.

No?

No, okay...

- [Laughs]

- I'm the bathroom attendant.

- [Laughs] he's got spray.

- Hey, free tickets to the house of blues.

Cool. - Oh, it's working.

- Oh, he's getting 'em on the way to the bathroom.

- It's a house of blues show.

Hi, free tickets to the house of blues show?

Free--

- I am not in there. I am the bathroom--

I am the bathroom attendant at the door.

Whoo hoo!

Your gonna go through really cold water,

Your n*pples are gonna be hard for hours.

- I have bra on, though. - It doesn't matter.

- It does matter. - Okay.

- Can I just look at it? - Okay.

- Whoo hoo!

- Yeah!

- Hi. - Winning.

- Whoo.

- Is this how rad alex is?

Like you guys have to, like, get four--

It takes four of you to, like, even like,

Get close to what alex is doing?

Is that what-- is that what's going on here?

- Yeah. - We dominated her.

- Shut up, we dominated.

- I'm not gonna tell you today.

- So, yes, we did.

- I can't-- I told you why.

I have to-- - candace!

- Unless we didn't understand the rules,

There's no shot in hell one person could get

As many as we've just got this whole time.

- I haven't seen her all day long.

- Do you want free concert ticket at the house of blues?

- Have you guys seen her? - She doesn't understand

That you can scan it more than once, and I know that.

And I know that she only has, like, probably like scans.

Personally, I'm not worried about alex.

Because I feel like, no matter what,

Me, ashley, nate, and frank have the most scans.

- Sam didn't do it at all.

Priscilla didn't do it at all.

- [Clears throat] were you guys as a team?

- Me and ashley teamed up, yeah.

- You were a team and you guys were a team?

- Nate and i. - I hate you.

I was all alone.

I think it's smart that they teamed up.

It's definitely a good strategy, and I wish I had a team too.

- Here, throw this out for me.

[Laughter]

- Now it looks like I wet myself!

- I like it, it's so funny.

- I can't believe you--

[Laughter]

I can't believe you fell for that.

- [Laughs] - you're so blonde.

- I did fall for that, I did.

- You fell for the oldest trick in the book.

- [Laughs] - what did he do?

- I understand that dylan's intentions are good,

But I wanna take things at my own pace.

- I need to go to bed.

- No, you're gonna stay right here

While I finish my subby.

- Yes, until you finish your subway.

- Mm-hmm...clearly. That's I what I want.

- And then I'm gonna get up after you go to bed...

- The vibe is obviously awkward.

I'm obviously annoyed.

It's completely uncomfortable.

So maybe a walk will help.

- What are we doing? - What?

- What are we doing now?

- I don't know.

I just thought walking would make it less awkward

Than sitting in the house and...

- Oh, god, what's wrong with us?

- I'm, like, in a weird mood.

I feel like you shouldn't be around here at all.

But you're here anyway, so I don't know what to...

You know.

Dylan is leaving really soon.

The last time that we said good-bye,

I didn't see dylan for almost a year.

So it's hard just...

You know, laying with him and-- and talking and, uh,

Gosh, it's just, at the end of day,

I'm--i'm scared to put trust

Into any type of relationship with dylan.

- Right here? - Yeah.

- So today, miss candace

And eric are going to tell us

The results of the warped tour.

We can't lose, there's no way we lost.

- Some of you guys may have performed very well.

[Laughter]

And some of you may not have performed very well at all.

So, really fast, let's talk about team purple.

So how did that come out-- all: team?

- How did team purple kind of--

- Here's what happened eric.

[Laughter]

[Overlapping dialogue]

- It's called tactic and being strategic.

- All right, no. - We all know that it was frank

And zach and ashley and nate, okay?

So, collectively, as a whole, you guys got scans.

- Oh, that's it? - Team purple?

- Damn, I thought we got more than that.

- Team purple got scans.

- And then alex-- - alex, how'd you do?

- I was running around all day. - Yeah.

How many individual scans did she get?

- So, alex, your score alone...

On your own...

Was scans. - Hmm.

- So candace and I were deliberating a long time.

And I think we decided

That we took the scans and divided that into four.

[Laughter]

Which came out to be...

- Tell her that you already knew that.

- About a -something a scan.

So the winner of the $ rockstar award...

- Is alex. - Is alex.

- There you go alex.

- Yay! Here's your check.

- It turns out I won.

Whoo hoo hoo!

- That's incredible, actually. - So yeah.

- I'm gonna-- I'm gonna give her...

- Nope, I will not.

- I don't want hear it. Stop.

Just don't talk to me for about two weeks.

[Laughter] - yeah.

- She won fair and square.

She worked really hard to win.

As much as it sucks that I didn't win my cut of the cash,

Like, she deserves it.

- Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it.

- Thank you guys very, very much.

[Phone rings]

- Hey, ali! - Hey, linda.

- Hey, long time!

Oh, my god, ali, we miss you.

- I miss you guys so much. How are you?

- We miss you too. Good, good, good.

- How's your mama?

- Oh, she's not too good, alex.

- I got a little bit of extra money,

I was thinking I can send money.

- Oh, my goodness, ali, you don't have to.

- No, I want to.

I have hard time, like, even sometimes going out to dinner

And fully enjoying, like, my meal knowing that, like,

My own family, some of them don't have food.

- Oh, my goodness, alex, I don't even know what to say.

- There was a contest at work, and I won it.

And I got $, so--

- Oh, my god, alex. - So I'm gonna save

A little bit for when I go back to l.a.,

And then the rest, I wanna use for everyone in zimbabwe.

And I really, really wanna send money to your mom.

The one thing I want most in life

Is to take care of my family and take care of my friends.

- Ali, you know, god bless you.

Seriously, god bless you.

I don't even know what to say, ali.

Yeah, ali, take care, okay? I love you.

- Love you, bye.

- Okay, bye. Ohh!

- These are tears of joy, not sadness.

[Laughs]

[Phone ringing]

- Hello? - Hey.

- Hi. - Hey, are you okay?

- Yes.

- I know maybe it's kind of a pain in the a*s

To go through all this.

We've been at this for ten minutes.

But do you think that I come over after work

Just to drop off some stuff for you?

- Yeah, dylan wants to come tonight after work

Just to bring me cold medicine and--and cookies

Because he knows that I feel kind of sick.

I don't need anything. I'm fine.

I'm not even sick, I swear.

- If you got plans, it's fine.

- I don't.

It'd be easy to make a decision...

To have a relationship with dylan.

- I don't know-- I kind of wanna--i don't--

I just had a really kind of long day.

And even if I'm just seeing you for ten minutes--

Is that good? You know.

- So, like, relationship-y.

"I'm gonna come by and bring you stuff."

I mean not that it's not nice, it just feels--

It, like, feels weird.

It doesn't feel right

To rush into something with him.

And it doesn't feel right

To completely cut him out of my life, either.

It's just--i don't know.

- You wanna see me?

I wanna see you.

- I do?

'Cause I don't even know that I do, it's just...

- I got to get back to work, but...

- Dylan, just, I mean--

- Can I just call you when I get out of work?

- Fine. - Like--okay.

- I'll just talk to you later.

- All right.

- Okay...bye.

- Okay.

- I know that dylan wants a relationship.

I know he's pushing for that.

I'm not ready for it.

I'm not ready to commit to seeing dylan all the time.

- Ooh, this might be boards only.

- But just like--what about like--no, like, walk around

The edge with--touching the water.

Can she?

- My mama and my sister come to visit me.

I'm really taking advantage of having any time with my mom.

She is somebody who knows dylan,

Who knows what I've gone through.

So I know that my mom's advice--

It's motherly, but it's also really well-rounded.

- Dylan's not a bad guy, but maybe...

Your guys's relationship was not the one

That was meant to be for each other, you know?

But it could turn out the other way too.

It could be that you grow up and you guys are friends

And you guys are great with each other

And you build a friendship,

And that friendship develops into something more.

Why not go to each other's schools, but just be friends?

Do not make an exclusive commitment, okay?

- Yeah. - Just be friends.

- Man.

Why do boys have to be so complicated?

It's hard for me to go into this.

I've been trying to think logically.

I'm trying to make sense of things.

I want us to keep in touch and talk and email--

Whatever, you know.

Like, I want-- I want those things,

But I don't wanna

Feel like I have to stress over them.

Taking it slow, yes. Talking, yes.

But at least being on the same page with you.

'Cause I don't wanna worry about--

But that's not something I want to worry about.

I tell dylan that I'm not ready for a relationship.

Not just with him,

But I don't--i don't want a relationship at all.

- Honestly, if there's anything I can do,

Anything, anything, you can just tell me.

- I'm really taking advantage of making myself happy

And putting myself first.

So I don't feel like I'm in a place at all

To wanna make any sort of heavy decisions

Or any decisions that involve anyone else.

At least not seriously.

It's still sad to see you go.

- It's sad to leave.

- ♪ How did it come to this ♪

♪ And how did you know that I couldn't be ♪

♪ What everyone wanted me to be ♪

♪ And how did you know ♪

♪ That I wouldn't see you ♪

♪ And everything falls away from me ♪

♪ When everything falls away from me ♪

- [Sobbing] - ♪ when everything falls ♪

♪ Away from me ♪

- I'm terrible at good-byes.

- Are you about to do laundry, nate?

- Mm-hmm.

[Southern accent] okay, so I'm doing my laundry.

- Huh? - Shorts, pants, and shirts.

- Ahh.

- So in an effort to domesticate myself,

I decided to give up my lifestyle of trash bags.

[Laughter]

- This is... - This is a nice shirt.

You should wear that.

- Oh, it's smells so good underneath the pile.

The top was just smelling so nice.

- The smell is incredible.

- Wow. - Yeah.

- This is neat.

Oh, what the [...] Are those?

What--these are--

You just grabbed a whole bunch of [...], Didn't you?

Didn't you, you [...]?

What the [...] Is that?

- [Laughing] - what is that?

- Those are, you know-- yeah, those are awesome.

Those are awesome.

I think these are priscilla's friends.

So funny, a little bit revealing, too,

Of dylan's character, I might say.

- Is that yours? - Shut the--

Don't touch me with that. - No, that's got a p*nis--

That's definitely had a p*nis in it.

Look at that. - No!

- Dude, don't.

- Yeah. - Nuh-uh.

- We'll just toss these ones.

- [Laughing]

- Okay.

- Next onthe real world.

- Mike, for me, he is the perfect counterpart

To my up and down, rollercoaster behavior.

- Michelle's the girl from the house of blues.

It really starts coming to light

That she might have a crush on me too.

- I just feel really bad. He's a really good guy.

Same goes for you too.

- I've just never had a grown man treat me that way.

- I'm upset that I've hurt somebody

That I care about so much.

- Should we apologize to dyl-sauce for

Moving his bike sauce? - No.

- Damn it! [Laughter]

- I will sacrifice my body for this, damn it!

Put me on your back skis while you go downstairs.

- If you break that table, you're over.

- Come on.

Got you. - [Laughing] god.

- All right. We can play from here, right?

- Come on. Whoo! Whoo hoo hoo!

[Laughter] whoo hoo hoo!

- [Indistinct] is about to rip my spine apart.

- Let's go. I will casually gremlin you.

- You just casually ruined the ping-pong game,

Single-handedly.