29x13 - The S#!@ They Should've Shown

[bunniefuu]

[Rapping] ♪real world ♪

♪San francisco ♪

[Beatboxing]

♪ Season

I know we had fun.

We did a lot of things that

They didn't show.

Ohhh!

I hope you got that.

Why?

I don't know why they didn't

Air it.

That was quality.

That was--i don't know why they

Didn't air that.

Look into my eyes.

[Laughing] there were so many

Times where I was just like,

Why and what am I doing?

Oh, my god.

Yeah, we had some good times

Out there.

We had some fun out there.

There was so much--

There was so much dumb [bleep]

I wish they would've shown.

[Energetic dance music]

♪

[Crowd cheering]

Oh, my gosh, I remember--

This was hilarious.

We went to a burlesque show,

And they had an air-hump

Competition.

And arielle, um, of course,

Entered it, and then finally,

We convinced jay to go

Downstairs and do it with her,

To be a partner with her.

Jay would be the last person

That I would expect to be on

That stage doing anything.

But here he was, getting

Practically air-[bleed]ed by

Arielle, yeah.

Arielle was air-[bleep] jay.

And it was intense.

Arielle wrapped a belt

Around my neck at one point.

Dry-humped me, threw me to the

Floor and, like, beat me.

It--it got bad.

There may have been a belt

Around his neck, and i, like,

Rode him in front of, you know,

People.

You know, there's nothing

More embarrassing than being

Manhandled like that, though,

You know.

I think jay's manhood is

Still on the stage.

She won.

Let's--let's clarify.

We won first place.

You win a beautiful hitachi--

I won the biggest vibrator

I've ever seen in my life, ever.

A really expensive vibrator,

Like, $ one or something.

I was like, I didn't know that

They could be that expensive.

That's cool.

So thank you, jay.

[Clicking]

[Snapping]

Well, I'll tell you what

I remember.

Um, what I remember from this

Erotic dinner is that the food

Was fan-[bleep]-tastic, okay?

[Bleep].

I thought what you showed was

Bad enough.

This is gonna get worse?

Also in front of you is a

Menu that's got a little ribbon

Wrapped around it.

Aw.

There is a prize at the end

Of the night for the most

Creative use of the ribbon.

The goal of the night, or

The game of the night, was we

Got these little ribbons, um,

Tied around our menus, and

Whoever could think of the best

Spots to tie them in would win

A prize, and the prize was a

Lap dance.

We tied my ribbon...

So I'm grabbing jamie's boob.

And she ties her ribbon on my

Belt so she's, like, grabbing

My [bleep], so I can't go to

The restroom.

Like, we can't leave.

We can't walk anywhere.

Jamie and I won, so, I mean,

Let me tell you this.

We started getting lap dances,

And I'll tell you how awkward

It is to have your girlfriend's

Hand on your [bleep] and then

Getting a lap dance.

It's a little strange.

There was some, um,

Sexy topless women there at the

Dinner, and, I mighta had a

Smoochy-smooch with a female

There.

Arielle and ashley were the

Ones that were most into it.

We were pretty turned on

At this dinner.

Everybody's being touched.

[Bleep] are out.

Everyone's naked.

And then me and ashley, like,

Excuse ourselves to go to the

Bathroom.

Oh, yeah, we just suddenly at

The same time have to pee.

Ari and ashley.

[Laughs]

That is hilarious.

I knew they would do something

Like that.

And it's like, hopefully,

This isn't making tom too

Too uncomfortable.

Hell no, bro.

This is really good food.

They stopped eating their food

Because they were getting

Massaged or something.

I was like, get a massage,

And eat.

Like, all tom wanted to talk

About was the steak.

He was like, "the steak is

Really great.

I don't know if you guys are

Eating.

This is just fascinating.

It's medium-rare, I love it."

I ate it all.

Like, I loved it.

[Eerie whooshing]

[Spooky music]

♪

There's this weird air

About that house whenever

All the lights are off and

Everyone's asleep, and you're

The only one up.

It's almost eerie.

Jenny believed the house

Was haunted by someone named

Fred.

She was communicating with it.

And i...

Thought it was hilarious.

If there's a spirit in the

Room, come touch my hand.

Even downstairs, where all

The producers were, apparently,

There was something haunting

Downstairs too.

'Cause there were noises and,

Like, names being called, but

There was nobody there.

Are there any spirits in

Here?

And I think everyone kind of

Sensed this weird presence in

The house, and jenny named the

Ghost.

Frederick was just a name

That came out of absolutely

Nowhere, like a lot of [bleep]

With me, out of my a*s, purely.

Can you make any of the

Lanterns move?

That's weird.

Oh, my god, that--

Why did you move the one that

No one can see?

The producers had also named

The ghost that they thought was

There, and it was the same name.

They were like, "fred."

[Mysterious clang]

This is weird.

So I don't know.

That's just them.

I don't know.

They're into the whole

Paranormal thing together.

Do I think that there c--

Could've possibly been a ghost

There named fred?

Yeah, it's totally possible.

Arielle definitely tried to

Egg her on a little bit.

She's like, "there's something

Here," you know.

If there's somebody here...

Please show yourself.

[Eerie music]

♪

[Loud crash]

What the [bleep]?

Oh, my god!

[Screams]

I thought it'd be funny to,

Like, play with her.

She didn't find it very funny

At all.

It wasn't--it actually was

One of my worst pranks.

[Gasping]

What's wrong with you?

Oh, the [bleep].

Oh, my god.

What the [bleep]?

You're such a g--

You--you can't fool me.

[Laughs]

You cannot fool me.

I'm a paranormal investigator...

[Laughing]

Extraordinaire.

I know, I just [bleep]

Love playing with you.

Gosh!

I saw you earlier.

Do you want to come touch my

Hand?

[Metal clangs, girl screams]

I see so much stuff, and I'm

Like, "why did they--why'd they

Cut it right there?

You're just about to show

The good part."

That house brought the worst

And best out of us in many ways.

A lot of really bad things

Happened, a lot of bad

Characteristics were shown in

Everybody.

Oh, my god.

The house was disgusting.

The house was filthy.

Nobody cleaned anything.

I think at one point jenny

Actually had something growing

In the living room.

I mean, there was, like,

Fruit flies.

There was one point in time

Where arielle was cleaning out

The sink 'cause it was clogged.

And she was like, "what the hell

Is this?"

And, like, she kept digging out

This just matter.

I actually--no one knows

This--i threw up in that sink.

[Chuckles]

I did.

Oh, that could have been

Tom's throw-up.

We even had the, like,

The producers, like, call and

Say, "look, you guys are

Cleaning the house today.

This place looks like [bleep].

Like, you need to clean

The house."

I think jenny was definitely

The grossest in the house.

I know I've made some messes.

I left, like, some molding,

Like, mexican food in the front

Room.

That is absolutely

Disgusting.

Who ate burrito and chips

And was over here sitting and

Left their salsa?

Most likely jenny.

It was jenny.

Jenny, you nasty.

Francois, the tacos, the

Molding taco in the front room

That I accidentally left there

And left for, like, a few days.

Oh, my god, I can smell it

From here.

What is it?

Check this out.

Oh, it's--that's jenny's

Food.

I felt like at some point

Everyone in the house thought

That I never cleaned.

No, you just might not have

Been watching when I cleaned.

'Cause I cleaned.

I think jenny cleaned all

Of three times in that house.

But when she did, she did

Everything, and she made it

Very, very clear that everybody

Knew that she was cleaning.

"I'm vacuuming now."

She had the nerve to go

Around and take pictures of it

When she cleaned the house.

And we were like...

"You cleaned up once.

Kudos to you."

Jenny dances like it's some

Sort of sport.

This girl is a performer.

She's, like, ballet and tap

And spinning around and kicking

Her leg up.

You're like, "oh, my god,

Give this girl space."

I think dancing was just

A way for us to get the crazy

Out.

I love to dance.

Like, that's how I get down.

I've been dancing since I was,

Like--i don't know, I think

I danced out of my mom's womb.

I think I'm the best twerker.

I got a lot of juice and meat

To work with.

Jenny's got more meat to

Throw around.

You know, she's got something in

The back to really make it move.

Here you go.

[Grunting]

No, jay, no.

The booty, not the hips.

[Laughs]

Put your hands on your knees

And do it.

[Laughs]

Yeah, jay!

I think I'm pretty good

For a white girl.

[Laughs]

I think I can twerk a little

Bit.

[Laughs]

Arielle couldn't twerk,

So she had to go upside-down

To twerk.

So she twerked upside-down.

There was a lot of twerking in

The house though.

Like, i-i-i can't do it.

Like, my butt's not flabby,

So I can't just shake it.

I tried though.

I got on my tippy toes.

Get it, tom.

He ain't got no booty though.

He ain't got no booty though.

Nope.

So one day arielle took us

To her voguing class.

The vogue class was fun.

I think the guys were the stars

Of the show.

I don't really know what

Voguing is, other than, like,

You move your arms and--

I don't even know how to

Explain it, but it's, like,

Weird hand motions and, like,

Framing of the face.

It--like, some just--

Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft.

It was not an amateur voguing

Class.

These people knew how to vogue,

And we're all sitting there

Looking like idiots.

[Indistinct]

Look, I am not ashamed to say

That I cannot hold my liquor.

Oh, my god, she was such

A sloppy drunk.

It was great.

And it doesn't take a lot

For arielle to get drunk.

Like, two beers literally.

Maybe two.

Possibly two.

And then from then on it's just

Blackness.

Well, bambi legs is the first

Indicator to a drunken

[Bleep] night.

When she would drink

Basically, she would just,

Like--her legs would give out

On her.

Like, she would be so wobbly

And so, like, bubbly.

She's very giddy.

She's very like, "oh, my god,

Let's do this.

Oh, my god, let's do that.

Let's jump on the counter and

Dance, ha, ha, ha."

The next thing I know is you

Hear this huge thud.

And you just see--and I look

Over, and arielle's not

On the counter anymore.

I don't wanna be the grown-up

At all times.

And I just can't hold my liquor.

[Bleep]!

My name is almond milk.

We had no music.

We couldn't go there and turn

The radio on and listen to

A song.

What we did was made up our

Own songs so we could sing.

Sometimes out of boredom,

Creativity is born.

[Rhythmic pounding]

Videotape this.

Almond milk is my alter ego.

She is by far the best rapper

San francisco's ever seen.

[Laughs]

♪ Real world san francisco

♪ Season

♪ We say we won't ♪

♪ Drink tonight

♪ But it happens every time

I'm almond milk.

Ashley's chestnut.

Together we're two nuts.

Chestnut's good to, like--

Like, the, like, hype woman in

The background.

Jenny's the rapper.

I'm just the one that stands

There like this.

♪ My name is chestnut

♪ I don't got a gut ♪

[Laughing] wow.

♪ I got a big butt

Oh, god.

I can't rap, come on.

What y'all know about almond

Milk and chestnut?

The album drops may .

You already know.

Yo, this is almond milk.

And my favorite songs I like to

Sing areshakin' t*tties.

♪ Shakin' t*tties ♪

♪ Shakin' t*tties, hey, hey ♪

♪ Shakin' t*tties ♪

♪ Hey, hey

♪ Don't forget to shake ♪

♪ Your a*s with it

That one was fun.

I'm not even gonna lie.

♪ I wanna see your n*pples

♪ Shakin' t*tties ♪

♪ Pull that bra down

♪ And show the girls

We shake our t*tties.

Shakin' t*tties.

Who does not like to see

A pair of t*tties shakin'?

[Chuckles]

≫>salsa and cilantro, that was

Another one.

That was--that was one of my

Favorites.

♪ Ci, ci, ci, cilantro

♪ Hey now

♪ Ci, cilantro in my salsa

♪ I say what now

She was making food or

Something, and we were just--

We just were bored, and I think

It just all became a thing.

♪ Salsa and cilantro

♪ Salsa and cilantro

♪ And the onion

♪ And, and the tomato

♪ And, and, and

And then, like, it slowly

Moved away from the kitchen

Into the, like, cell phone room

Or whatever.

And by that point, I'm doing

African dances.

♪ Salsa and cilantro

♪ Salsa

It was just weird.

It was just probably the best

Moment ever in the house though.

♪ Pepper, tomato, tomato

♪ And pepper, and pepper

Okay, jenny's birthday song

For brian, it was a sweet

Gesture.

Can't actually singhappy

Birthday 'cause it's copy--

Whatever.

I had to write a new song.

And I had to make sure I wrote

It down for everyone so they

Wouldn't [bleep] it up, because

They had to memorize it 'cause

It's a new song.

And I had to make sure that

Everybody was on point.

We were gonna just support

Jenny, support brian, that's it.

None of us wanted to sing it.

I don't even think tom looked

At what it was.

Can't remember how the song

Went though.

Brian!

Brian, we're singing to you.

Brian!

Totally missed the action.

What happened?

I feel like brian was

Probably more awkwarded out

In the situation because we all

Started singing some random song

To the dude.

And he was just like, "what?"

I was probably being a brat,

You know?

All: ♪ from us to you

♪ Happy birthday

♪ One year older it's true ♪

♪ One year older you grew

♪ Now make a wish

♪ Blow out the candles

Whoo!

Whoo.

I wrote that song just for

You.

Thank you, sir.

Happy birthday.

I think everybody in

The nation that watches this

Is obsessed with jenny's boobs.

You don't know how many times

I get a day, "are those real

Or fake?"

Ashley loved my boobs.

[Chuckles]

She did.

She did, but who couldn't?

How could you not love my boobs?

I love my boobs.

She seduced me.

It was those boobs, you know?

Those fake boobs.

It was--it was like a guy with

Money, but she just has

The money on her chest.

I'm just kidding.

She was always grabbing

Jenny's boobs or talking about

Jenny's boobs or trying to see

Jenny's boobs.

Now we're halfway in.

No, girl, we are not getting

All the way naked.

I am naked underneath this.

You're not, so no.

They're both, like, crazy,

Wild girls.

I could see it being, like,

You know, like, they get drunk

One night and just being like...

[Giggles]

[Bleep].

Like, it just, like, everybody's

Naked, they're going at it,

And they wake up in the morning

Like, "what happened?"

"I don't know.

It was just weird."

You're not gonna show that,

Are you?

[Laughs]

Girl...

It was an innocent shower.

We just wanted to gossip.

Let me wash your boobies.

That's my story and I'm sticking

To it.

[Laughs]

Okay, we both have boobs

That are, "oh, my god."

On blast.

[Toilet flushes]

Oh.

Oh, okay, confessional's

Over.

Tom is very flatulent at

All times.

Did you fart, and I just

Walked into it?

Yes.

[Laughter]

He'll just let it rip.

I mean, he doesn't care.

What the hell is that?

Shot time, you, bro.

I got you.

No, the smell though.

Tom.

You cannot get away from it.

It's bad.

[Flatulence]

Excuse me.

Ew.

Tom passes gas on a regular

Basis, but arielle blows up

The bathroom.

Like, I don't know why but my

Body, like, it's just--there's

A dead person that lives inside

There.

Every time I go into a bathroom,

He just comes out.

Sometimes I went in there

Thinking somebody sold their a*s

To the devil.

I thought people with smelly

[Bleep], you know, they're

Usually overweight because it's

Getting stuck in their

Intestines.

'Cause that's how I stay

Thin, is I [bleep] everything

Out.

That's good.

Arielle blew up the bathroom

Every day, man.

You couldn't--like, there was

At least a -minute warning

Before and after.

And I think at one point,

Like, one of the producers

Walked by and was like,

"Oh, my god.

Who?"

And they're like,

"It's arielle."

He's like, "oh, [bleep]."

I'm a [bleep].

My name's arielle, and I am

A [bleep].

And I'm a [bleep].

Arielle is the best pranker

Ever.

I've never seen anyone pull off

A prank as well as arielle.

Dude shows up at our door.

Hello?

'Sup, bro?

Hey, I'm kyle, the new

Roommate.

He has the necklace on,

The mic and everything, so I'm

Like, okay, I can see this.

All the guys wanted, like,

A hot chick.

Okay, I won't complain if

There's a hot chick who walks

In the door and says, "I'm the

New roommate.

Cool, [bleep], whatever."

But there was this fat dude

That walked up in here.

So this is your roommate,

Jenny.

She's gonna be your roommate.

Jenny, hey.

Ohh.

He just comes in.

He's putting his, like, finger

In the peanut butter and just

Licking it.

He's, like, flicking his

Boogers.

Cory and I were playing pool.

He walks by and just puts our

Pool ba*ls into the pool holes,

And we're like, "what the

[Bleep] is wrong with this kid?"

Right?

Bro, what the [bleep] is

Wrong with you, bro?

I mean, I feel like mtv

Chooses decent-looking people,

You know?

He--he basically was like,

"Oh, yeah, okay, so we just--

You know, we're cool, we're big,

We walk around without shirts,"

And just takes his shirt off.

Sorry, it's just so hot.

Had to be like this guy here.

Ooh, the tee off, baby.

You got the man boobs going.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Let those boys hang.

Kyle went over-the-top and

Got everybody in that house

Sitting there scratching their

Head like, "holy [bleep].

Maybe we shoulda actually stuck

With ashley."

I think it was just perfect.

Everything that he did--my--

Like, I loved when he just

Started throwing her stuff out

Of their room.

Just--just beautiful.

Like, academy award, kyle.

I remember thinking, cory's

Gonna beat the [bleep] outta

This kid, like, in five minutes.

Just don't throw any punches.

No, I'm just gonna drive his

a*s crazy so he leaves.

I should have let it go on

For a little bit longer, but,

Again, I didn't see any point

In having my friend, like,

Get beat in the face.

Before we take this shot,

I have something to say.

What, miss peacemaker?

This is my good friend from

Oakland.

He doesn't actually live here.

[Laughs]

[Overlapping shouting]

Cheers!

Cory's passed out, and here's

The thing.

You cannot pass out with

Your shoes on.

I learned that from king bro

Tom himself.

So if you fall asleep with

Your shoes on, you're fair game

To be [bleep] with.

So there were tampons.

Light bulb.

I think I eventually just

Kinda noticed them putting

Something on me, and I was like,

"Don't do that, stop."

And then I saw them doing it

To cory, and I got pissed 'cause

I was still kinda drunk.

Tom got pissed off because

We were messing with cory 'cause

It's his bro.

Stream of tears.

So we throw the tampons--like,

We place them all over cory,

Like on his pants and, like,

On his face.

Arielle...

Good prankster, man.

Cory was very easy to prank.

He was very easy to scare.

It's hilarious.

If you catch him off-guard

Is when it's great.

So basically there's a part

In the aquarium where you can,

Like, touch, um, stingrays.

So I go in, and I'm a little bit

Nervous 'cause, you know, it's

A stingray and whatnot.

He put his--he put his finger

In to touch the stringray,

And as soon as he touched

The stingray I grabbed him,

And he literally jumped.

[Laughter]

"Ahhh!"

It's amazing.

Yeah, when I scream, I scream

Like a girl.

I think everyone saw it.

I got scared, you know?

It was like on

The rock-a-boat or whatever

That boat was that we went on.

Oh, my god, the whole time,

It was amazing.

I want to see the gopro footage

Of that because he's in

The front, and I want to see

The footage of it 'cause I bet

He's scared for his life.

[Screaming]

He prides him around like

A macho man and whatever,

But you know guys that are like

That, they usually have a little

Soft spot inside, and he screams

Like a little girl.

Here we go!

Boat trip I got to hear cory

Scream like a girl a lot when

We did inner tubing.

You know, what the girls are

Saying is that they would look

Back and they'd be like,

"Oh, no, stop, hold on."

It was us like, "no, [bleep]!"

[Screaming]

I didn't know who was

Screaming more.

I couldn't hear myself screaming

'Cause cory was screaming like

A girl.

Tom's on this side screaming

Like a girl.

I'm in the middle holding on

For dear life screaming like

A little girl.

The boat trip was amazing.

They showed, like, . Seconds

Of that, which sucked.

Skinny-dipping, yeah, me and

Jenny.

You know, hey, we're on

Vacation.

I'm so lucky because of this.

Ah.

Let me--

We're out here in the wild.

You know, no one's around.

It's like, let's be adam and

Eve.

Let's take this stuff off.

Let's take it to the next level.

You know, so--

We got naked, got one with

Nature.

Well, we got off camera.

You guys know what that means.

But--

They were adam and eve.

Like, I'm sure they were just

Like, "let's restart the

Planet."

Like, it was--i'm sure that's

What was going on up there.

I gotta do it adam and eve

Style.

America, I have no problem

With being naked.

I'm not--no shame in my game.

Are you guys gonna show

Folsom street fair?

[Bear growls]

I don't think they had any

Idea what was in for them

At the folsom street fair.

The guys loved 'em.

They were getting a lot of

Attention in the bear suits.

I guess it's some kind of g*y

Symbol actually, and the guys

Didn't realize it, so guys were

Coming up to them, like,

Presenting themselves to them,

And they never put two and two

Together.

A lot of guys walked up to

Cory and were like, "let me see

Your [bleep].

Let me see the bear [bleep]."

The guys handled--handled

Folsom street fair pretty well.

You could tell they were

Uncomfortable.

They had the kind of nervous

Smiles.

Like, just, you know, like,

"Yes, like, I like fur too."

We were a hit.

Like, I've never, like, taken so

Many pictures with people.

Like, literally we would just

Walk and everybody, "can we take

A picture?

Can we take a picture?"

It was a leather party,

And we wore furry bear outfits,

But it worked.

The guys, they wore the bear

Suits and the wolf suit.

That left me with nothing.

I will serve and protect.

Okay?

My socks.

They do come up to the middle

Of my shin.

Brian basically walked around

Naked.

Little tighty-whiteys and

A blazer.

And one of the funniest times

Ever was him on the bus.

[Laughter]

He's like, "uh, I'm sorry."

Standing in front of these

Three old women with his, like,

His junk straight out.

Like, you can see his [bleep],

But I guess behind whatever

Boxers he's wearing.

And he's, like, literally

Sitting there with his [bleep]

In these women's faces, and

We're all just sitting there

Dying.

Yeah, yeah.

I remember a moment on the bus,

I was trying to figure out

A place to stand, and my

Genitals happened to just be

Right in everybody's face, you

Know?

But so some guy finally got

Up and let him sit down, because

It was just that awkward.

He was bouncing around in

Tighty-whiteys.

Welcome to san francisco.

[Laughing]

Hannah is my best friend.

She's my ride-or-die b*tch.

Oh, my god.

Don't let me go.

This is hannah.

Tom.

What's up, hannah?

Cory.

It's nice to finally meet

You.

Cory, hannah.

It's nice to meet you.

I remember her, like, walking

Right up to jamie and me looking

At tom and just going like,

"Six."

We had a--

Seven.

You changing now?

Yep.

I'm gonna stick with my first

One.

She's not a ..

I don't know why the [bleep]

They said that.

They're crazy.

They are not one to talk either.

They've no room to talk.

. My a*s.

She had already, like, seen

Pictures of cory, so she already

Had her eye on him.

She was just like, "okay, I see

You."

So as soon as she got into

The house, her and cory hit it

Off immediately.

Definitely there was

An attraction there.

I know--i mean, I heard that

They made out a couple times.

Apparently rumors were going

Around that they slept together,

But I know that didn't happen

Because I went and [bleep]

Blocked them because they were

Trying to do it on my bed.

Whoa, not in my room, no.

Your bed.

No.

No, get out of my bed.

Sorry, sorry, dude.

No, no, hannah!

Jamie comes in, "uh-uh,

Nuh-uh, get out of my room!

I am not having you guys on my

Bed.

Uh-uh, that's not happening."

I'm like, "jamie, come on, take

One for the team."

Like--like, "come on, man,

Help me out, help me out."

And, uh, yeah, so she c.b.'Ed

On that one definitely.

Apparently some

Bow-chicka-wow-wow happened in

The confessional.

I don't know--i'm not gonna say

Because I don't know exactly

What happened.

I just know they made out.

Get him.

Deeper.

Get him, jamie, get him.

Get him.

Please show that.

Tom got the biggest atomic

Wedgie I've ever seen in my

Life, and he doesn't remember

It.

I was the one that started

The wedgie with tom, but I was

Making it an innocent little

Like, "oh, wake up."

You know, "I'm gonna pull

Your boxers up."

That has to hurt, babe.

Don't you call me "babe."

And secondly, it doesn't hurt.

Turns out to be something

Like, "oh, I can't feel it,"

'Cause competition between me

And tom is ridiculous all

The time.

Basically me and hannah were

Like, "all right, you're gonna

Feel this."

She takes the loop from

The bottom all the way to the

Waistband, and we just make it

Like little handles on either

Side.

And we pick him up off the bed

From either side.

She takes one side, I take

The other, and we just rip.

The camera guy, like,

Panicked.

He looked at it and was radioing

In like, "do I tape this?

Do I not tape this?

What do I do?

What am i--do i--i don't wanna

Look at this.

What am I supposed--what's

Happening?"

And the next morning,

Let me tell you what, I felt it.

I had burns in the butt cheeks

And everything.

The next morning, he comes up

To me and he's like, "jamie,

What happened?"

And I was like, "what are you

Talking about?"

And he was like, "my butthole

Hurts so bad."

He had no clue, but he knew

His butt hurt.

Wait, I have to put it back.

[Laughs]

Let's go, let's go.

[Grunting]

Honestly, I think the

Camera--i think production crew,

I think the crew loved us.

Give me that!

Aghh!

[Laughs]

Mic me!

One of the boom guys was

Recording me and cory's

Conversation and swung the mic.

Clink, clink, clink, clink,

Clink.

And that's all you hear, man.

And we just turned and we

Started laughing at him.

[Loud clink, glass breaks]

Pfft.

[Laughs]

That was on me.

And he was gone for the next

Couple days, and we were like,

"They fired him.

They got rid of him for breaking

Our bottles."

Smashed a whole bunch of

Glass.

[Laughs]

Talk about it now.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Get close up on his face.

[Laughs]

You get to know these people

Almost even though it's almost

Like a non-verbal relationship.

Because they can't really talk

To you, but they kind of laugh

At things you do.

I saw jackson's mother bench

More than you, bro.

That's a disrespect to his

Mom.

No, that's not disrespectful

To his mom.

That's disrespectful towards

His mom.

That was a mama joke.

One of them put a plane--

Like, held a plane in front of

The camera and was going like

This with the camera with

The plane in front of it.

And then I remember brian put

The wolf hat on top.

They really loosened up

Towards the end.

In the beginning, I mean,

Everyone's kind of, you know,

Like, "who are you?

Who are you?

This is my job," you know?

It's just weird because these

People, they're going through

Everything with you, but at

The same time they're not with

You, you know?

They can't give their input or

Say their opinions.

They're just there to observe.

I mean, I consider myself

Metrosexual.

And then I look at cory and

Jay g., And I think they're,

Like, a lot worse than I am.

All the guys were a little

Metro in the house.

They wanted to make sure that

They looked nice, which isn't

Surprising.

I mean, I think--i think guys

Should care about their

Appearance.

These guys are kinda girly,

Yeah.

I mean, they liked to look nice,

Which is a good thing.

I guess women like hairless

Bodies, which is weird to me.

He had hair, like, a couple

Hairs on his back that just

Annoyed the [bleep] outta me.

So I got my pluckers and took

Care of that [bleep].

I know brian likes to, like,

Shave his whole body, but I

Don't know about the other guys.

I think that--i think cory likes

To shave his body.

Think brian shaves his legs,

Which is kinda weird to me.

Wow, yo, I didn't even think

About that.

I always saw a bare, like,

Clean, like, baby skin on cory

And brian.

Cool, all right.

So shaving my body is--

That's familiar in the fitness

World.

Like, you're not gonna go

Onstage with a hairy body.

Brian does take his time when

It comes to doing his hair.

It was just like, he'd

Straddle and then he'd just do

This.

, Minutes.

You know, just, like, playing.

And it's just like, "dude, you

Look the same."

Like, "nothing has changed."

Like, his hair looked like--

Like a ken doll's hair.

Like, hard.

Seriously, hard.

I was trying to rock this new

Jheri curl look, and, like, it

Wasn't working.

I couldn't get it right.

It was like, at first, okay,

You know, sometimes I had good

Days, but most of them were bad.

Everyone has an o.c.d. Thing,

Right?

Everyone--everyone has their

Thing.

Mine is socks.

I'm a total sock freak.

Really?

I have, like, pairs of

Socks with me.

Really?

Jay had a very particular

Thing about his socks.

He put his socks in a certain

Way in the drawer.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

You can have your sock back.

You can have your sock back.

You can have your sock back.

Give--

Give--

Leave my socks out of it.

So I have certain socks for

The gym.

I have certain socks if I'm just

Laying around the house.

I have certain socks if I'm

Going out.

He has a thing with socks.

He would call me out when I

Wasn't wearing matching socks.

Like, me and jenna both would

Walk around without matching

Socks.

I don't--maybe an o.c.d. Thing.

Tom has an interesting sock

Collection.

I don't wear colored socks.

Tom probably has, like,

The weirdest, strangest style

I've ever seen.

But, like, his sock and

Underwear collection is

Impeccable.

He would match every color

With a different color.

In essence, it never matched.

Nothing matching.

That's fine.

The hat and the shirt.

The what?

The hat and the shirt,

The print.

No.

The, uh, shoes and the socks.

Not really.

Are you kidding me?

Are you blind?

No.

They seem in their natural

Element just constantly primping

In the one mirror that we had

In the house.

I think that they cared more

About their appearance than

The girls did, to be honest.

Ah, not about that life.

Yes, sir!

Yes, sir!

The competition,

The competitiveness sprouted

Directly from tom.

I know this because he's

The most competitive person in

The entire world.

Every pool game, we were

Serious.

Every shuffleboard game,

We were serious.

[Bleep] it!

The champ!

The champ is here!

Let's go!

Look at tom.

Tom's so mad.

I'm getting out of the way.

I'm getting out of the way from

This.

[Bleep] this b*tch.

Tom is like--he lives for

Competing it seems like.

It's just that's his nature.

Oh, my god!

Tom, you need to chill.

Give me my thing back then.

No, you threw it at me.

He threw the puck at me,

And I was like, "[bleep] you for

Throwing that puck at me."

And he was like, "[bleep] you

For being a b*tch."

And I was like, "I'm gonna

Break up with you now."

You're gonna rewatch it,

And I went--

No, you straight up [bleep]

Chunked it at me.

I threw it at the puck.

Okay.

Oh, my god.

Jamie.

No.

Anyways.

Jamie!

Anyways!

Either way, if he wins or

Loses, he's not gonna shut up

About it, and he's a sore winner

And a sore loser.

Tom would be the first one

To ask to do a staring contest.

"Let's do a word search.

Who can get the first word

Search done?"

You know, like, "let's play

Shuffleboard.

Whoever wins best out of three."

I've never really been around

People who were just so

Competitive about [bleep] that

Didn't matter.

Like, if you were better at pool

Or better at staring at someone

In the eye for too long.

Like, "my eyes can get dry

Before your eyes, and I won't

Blink."

Staring contest, go.

Staring contest, go.

Ow.

See, that's stupid to me.

I have not lost yet!

I will never lose in a staring

Contest with anybody.

I guess people don't like me

Winning.

Where's the--where's the

[Indistinct] at?

The food store was out of

Chicken nuggets.

Yeah, I just want to say that.

They didn't have--

No, they're out.

Jenna doesn't like to eat

Anything.

She likes...

Chicken nuggets.

That was her thing.

Milk and chicken nuggets.

She literally only likes

Chicken nuggets.

Jenna doesn't eat [bleep].

She does not eat anything.

You and your chicken nuggets.

I know.

Yeah.

I remember we were out at

The bar, and she asked for

Macaroni basically without

The cheese.

And they came and were like,

"Here's your macaroni with--

It's just macaroni."

"Could I get macaroni and

Cheese with no cheese, please?"

What the [bleep]?

What?

What is that?

They said macaroni and cheese

Without the cheese for some

Reason.

No, it's pasta with butter.

They'd never heard of that

Before.

I don't understand.

It's just pasta with butter.

See?

See, I tried something new,

And I liked it.

Yay!

You gotta trust me.

Yeah.

Oh, that's pretty good.

You like that?

We tried to get jenna to eat

A lot of stuff.

And to her credit she ate some

Of the stuff.

Like, she gave it a try.

And I got a hot dog, and I'm

Loving it.

A hot dog?

How'd you get a hot dog?

I want all the food in

The house.

Dude, I got the hot dog on

Lockdown.

I got the hot dog on lockdown.

I'm a hungry girl.

I like to eat.

Like, I got some meat.

I got some thickness to me.

I like to eat.

So if I'm looking for that

Person, it's taking me a while,

I might need to stop for

A little break.

I am so impressed by her

Ability to bring out fully

Dressed food out of her bags.

Like a burger.

Or like a [bleep] hot dog.

Or a sandwich.

Like, "where'd you get that?"

Da-ding!

Like, and hot dog.

Da-ding.

And hamburger.

Like, how does it even, like,

Keep its form in your bag?

It's--i'm impressed by it too.

It's my way of trying to keep

My girlish figure.

I would try to eat half of

Everything, so then I'd put

The other half in a place where

I could eat it later.

Yeah, um, you gotta always be

Prepared.

Times are hard and you get

Hungry, she's prepared and I'm

Not.

I don't have a taco in my purse,

And then I see hers, and I get

Jealous and wish that I thought

Ahead.

You never know what you'll

Find in my purse.

See what else we got.

There's morereal world:

Ex-plosion: the [bleep] they

Should've shown, and it

Continues now.

[Horns honking]

It was just frustrating

Because the whole time I'm like,

"Oh, my god, san francisco's

So loving, and we're such giving

People, and yay!

Rainbows, butterflies, candy."

It wasn't any of that at all,

So...

[Bleep] mtv.

[Bleep] bull[bleep].

Oh.

Okay, that didn't happen.

I wasn't expecting as much

Hate as we got.

I was expecting a little bit

More, like...i guess

Friendliness, but, hey.

People in cars would just

Drive next to us and just yell

Stupid [bleep].

People would run in between us

And, like, do circles around us

And scream, like as if they were

Gonna get on camera.

[Bleep].

Whoa.

Which guy said that?

Just going to bars and

Whatnot, people did not like us.

They were not nice.

And I had people pouring

Drinks on me.

My, like, third night in the

House, I had some dude pour his

Whole drink.

I had to throw my white pants

Away.

I will never wear white pants

Again because of that.

Cory got pissed at

A different kid, not the kid

That threw the cranberry juice

On him.

And you can see that on video.

Like, he grabs one kid and

Starts shoving him, but it

Wasn't the kid that threw

The cranberry juice on him.

My room was the closest to

The front door, my bed was,

And so I heard everything from

Girls giving their twitter

Handle shoutouts to, you know,

Asking mtv to put them in

The show, to people cussing us

Out and telling us to go home.

Ashley!

People were, like, shouting,

"[Bleep]the real world!"

Like, stupid [bleep].

We had some people come by

The house and, like, they're

Yelling and yapping off at

The mouth late night.

And I guess they burned our,

Um, intercom.

Holy [bleep].

See, I wasn't kidding.

Oh, yeah, they're--

They melted it, dog.

They burned--

It's melted.

There was a situation where

The whole cast pretty much was,

Like, arguing with this group of

People outside the gate, and

Somebody spit on tom through

The gate.

Doesn't matter if she did,

b*tch.

Whoop your a*s!

No, you wouldn't.

[Overlapping shouting]

Hey, you too, punk!

Oh, yeah, get it.

Get some glasses.

I run over there, and I

Didn't even look at who did it.

I just got the biggest loogie

I could and just spit on all of

Them.

No, no, no, no.

Not worth it.

Not worth it.

I'm closing the doors, go.

Let's go.

Go, go.

I don't know how she gets

That much saliva in her mouth

At that time, but just starts

Spitting, like

"Da-da-dee-dee-dee" all--

Through the gate, all across

These people.

Jenny was like, "oh, hell

No."

Like, "don't spit at us."

And so she came running through

To the kitchen and grabbed

Cleaning product.

[Makes spraying sound]

"Jenny--"

The phone rings.

"Jenny, put the cleaner down.

Do not spray the strangers with

The cleaner."

My bad.

She said put the spray and

[Bleep] down.

You're egging [bleep] that

Doesn't need to be egged on.

There's nothing egging.

There's nobody here to egg.

If they come back,

I'm spraying them in the face.

I'm gonna leave it right

Here.

That is my protection.

Here you go, baby.

You're crazy.

On lauren's last night, we

Went to the highest peak in

San francisco, um, to see

The entire city, all the lights.

It was amazing.

It was beautiful.

And there was a raccoon that

Approached us.

Right.

Non-existent--

Yo, buddy.

Come here.

He's right there.

He is adorable.

Let him--let him crawl--

There you go.

You're pretty.

Hello.

My name is amber,

The raccoon whisperer.

He walked up and just sat

Down and was, like, looking up

Like, "yo, what's up, guys?"

So people started feeding him,

And he, like, hung out.

And we decided that his name

Is francisco.

Francisco the raccoon after

San francisco.

Francisco the raccoon,

He was, like, the friendliest

Raccoon I've ever met in my

Life.

I didn't know raccoons were

Domesticated like that.

I even drew a picture of him

And hung it up on the wall in

Our house by the computer and

Called him our th roommate.

Francisco came to me on

A lovely san francisco evening.

I don't know why.

Out of where?

Nowhere.

But he came up to me and he was,

Like, talking to me.

And I could hear him.

I understood what he was--

We had a conversation.

I brought him some beef jerky.

We had a good time.

I didn't know raccoons liked

Beef jerky.

That was a great lesson.

Cory's got fake boobies!

Cory's got fake boobies!

They--they put something

In the air.

Like, there's something when

You get in that house, like it

Causes you to be crazy.

I swear, like, it sounds so

Stupid, but it's so true.

All: what?

What?

You know.

All: no!

We--we came on this show.

We knew we were gonna act

A fool at one point in time

On this show.

And it's our time to let loose

And just have this full

Experience and not just half-a*s

It.

All: ladies.

Hey, hey, hey.

I don't care what people

Think.

We had a great time out there.

Us roommates know what went on.

We know what we said, what we

Went through.

That's--that's all I care about.

All:real world:

San francisco!

Save this woman!

Give her a drink.

Dear, baby jesus, sir.

Let her live!

And then all of a sudden

He pops out.

He just pops from the

Ceiling.

He just comes down from

The ceiling.

They move one of those tiles,

And it just comes down.

Wait, we got to--let's bless

You with the holy vodka.

[Laughter]

Somebody bless this.

Somebody bless this vodka.

Okay, this is--

[Laughs]

This is--[laughs]

Wait, you gotta just--

Oh, my god, I'm--

Oh, my god!