30x04 - Blast From The Past

[bunniefuu]

Loser streaks

the entire upstairs.

Ha ha!

Whoo! Whoo!

I think Sylvia

knows how to get down.

Bruno is definitely

my type.

You're stunning.

Woman of my dreams.

I'm just locked eyes with Carla.

She's beautiful.

You have got to be

kidding me.

Bruno!

Kissing Carla probably

felt better than kissing Sylvia.

Come to me!

Chicago!

[all cheering at once]

Two people that I

know from back home are rumored

to come out and be living here

in a few weeks, so--

What're you

talking about?

Do you really think

that they're gonna do that?

It's seven of us.

[doorbell rings]

Who is this?

Uh-oh, new roommate.

Who is she?

I've been ambushed.

I'm shaking right now.

[bleep] that!

You do understand that

this will be the first episode

where someone gets k*lled,

right?

♪ All the people

♪ In the house

♪ Put 'em up like what ♪

♪

[doorbell rings]

Surprise!

Oh, my God!

Get the [bleep] out of here.

♪

[overlapping shouting]

[upbeat music]

♪

I'm a big practical

joker, I love to prank

these dirty girls.

[screams]

Stop!

[screams]

Ice bucket showers, baby!

Oh, my God!

[laughs]

Sleep with your eyes open!

He is definitely going

to get it.

Yup.

[laughing]

What's that?

Oh, my--

[bleep]

[laughing]

Even though Bruno and I

aren't really getting along

right now, I still think

he's really cute.

I don't know why.

[laughing and squealing]

He's terrible trouble.

Just terrible trouble.

Can we please have a truce?

Yeah.

Shake on it?

Sure.

Truce.

Ah--damn--

[laughs]

[dance music]

♪

♪ Shake that fanny

♪ Shake, shake that

♪ fanny, fanny

♪ Shake that fanny

♪ Shake, shake that

♪ fanny, fanny

What you know about

that, Jason?

♪ Shake, shake that

♪ fanny, fanny

Yeah!

When it comes to girls, we're

looking for the ones that--

they're not camera shy.

You're a hairstylist?

I'm a sucker for hairstylists.

Oh, my God.

You camera shy?

I'm not camera shy.

As soon as we

catch that vibe, like, "Okay,

hey, they're not camera shy..."

[dance music]

♪

Boom, perfect.

Oh, oh, oh!

[screams] Oh, my God!

Think about it, a full

week, and think of all the

[bleep] that's happened.

It's pretty bad.

If everybody could be as cool

and keep it [indistinct] like

Bruno--

Oh, my God.

If you try and tell me that

you're perfect one more time--

I know.

Farthest.

Ohh, I--no.

I said that--you said--

Yeah, you did a couple times.

Oh, yeah.

Bruno and I are flirty--

we have that attraction.

It's just something about us.

I feel we're magnets.

I am interested in

two girls, Carla and Sylvia.

I definitely look like

the douchebag, I mean,

here I am kissing

multiple amounts of girls,

and supposedly I'm really

into one or the other,

and--[laughs]

I'm that guy.

[laughing]

Sorry, Mom.

So when are you

taking me out?

I'm confused.

Well, can I get your number?

How do I contact you?

You could.

You could get it, as long

as I'm getting yours.

All right?

Ciara's a cute Puerto Rican

girl, a cute body, cute butt.

I really want to get to know her

underneath the sheets.

Nicole, she's a player,

and if you play the game

with Nicole, she's going to win.

It's up to you/

You want to come over?

I mean, I'm not gonna force you

to do something you don't

want to do.

You sure?

Yeah.

All right, good.

Hi, Sylvia.

Hey!

[laughs]

Yeah, ride that pole, baby.

You can ride this pole later.

What'd you say?

Do you want a glass

of wine?

I want a glass of Sylvia

on the side.

Stop it.

Do you want to do

a confession with me?

Come on.

What?

Confession.

You sit here.

Get out of here, no way.

[laughs]

My version of talking

is kissing.

Good-bye.

[giggling]

What are we--

Mm-hm.

[Please Lie by The Royalty]

♪ Please lie

♪ Please lie

♪ Please lie-i-ie

♪ Please lie

♪

[snoring]

Oh, my God.

Sylvia,

you can check my pocket.

You can check my wallet today.

I have no money in 'em.

Mind blown.

I'll put up everything

I have in my wallet.

Someone's getting me

drinks today 'cause I put up

$, so--

You're broke, I'm broke.

Jason put bucks

up on the pizza last night

for everybody.

Dude, we're like a

bunch of drunk little puppies.

Hey, Mom, can you put

a few dollars in my account?

That [bleep] sucks.

Oh, I'm--I'm pissed.

I'm pissed, I'm pissed.

And now we need to get

this whole job situation

figured out.

We go to work today?

Damn.

For some reason,

we can't get our [bleep]

together because for some reason

we ring up these tabs,

and for some reason

we're all broke.

Real life problems.

God bless, we cannot go

to that place anymore.

Let's go get this money.

Club soda?

What's your name?

Nicole.

Nicole? Thank you.

You're welcome.

[overlapping chatter]

What are we having?

Shandy.

Summer shandy?

You guys enjoy.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Behind you, coming

through--yeah, buddy.

Cheers to my first day

and your first time

eating here, right?

I love my job 'cause I get to

work behind a bar.

Well, I have to be good.

I have another four hours here.

[clang]

Shh!

You can touch my arm.

I want to feel it.

It's bucks.

bucks?

$ to touch my arm.

There you are.

I've worked in the restaurant

and bar industry

since I was years old.

To me, this is cake, easy.

Hi!

Mm, mm!

However, Madison

is off in La-La-Madison Land.

Hi, you little cutie.

Hey, J!

What's up, girl?

Hey, stud muffin!

You're looking too good!

Looking too good!

All of a sudden everybody

shows up.

[overlapping chatter]

Woo!

Hey!

Congratulations to day

one, now here's a shot.

Hey, to the friends

I'll never forget,

and to the nights I'll never

mother[bleep] remember!

Hey!

Hey!

Aw.

That's awesome, though.

Makes me miss my dog.

[yelling and chattering]

Here's the food.

Here's the alcohol,

and this is our wine, I think?

You want water?

Okay.

You look gorgeous.

Thank you--oh, I'm gonna

get lipstick on you.

Carla's here to

meet up with me,

and I wouldn't be surprised

if Sylvia's pissed.

It is what it is.

Yeah?

Yeah.

It's hot out front.

I thought, like,

maybe Bruno and I

would have something,

and then all of a sudden

Carla comes in.

Awesome.

Like, I don't want to,

like, scare you away, but, like,

the more I talk to you and,

like, the more I hang out

with you, my attention's

only gonna be on you, %.

It took all of, like,

four seconds for him

to just completely forget me.

I'm done with those last shots.

You want me to do anything else?

Nope.

You got lipstick

all over me!

I got lipstick all over you!

We're leaving,

We're leaving.

All right.

Let's get everyone--

Let's round everybody up,

everybody pay their tabs,

and we're leaving.

You ready?

I say yes.

Come on, round the troops!

[The Lake by Fences]

♪ It's too late ♪

♪ Now I'm only wishing ♪

♪ That I loved you better

♪ At the lake

You know, it's

Sylvia, Carla, Sylvia, Carla,

Sylvia, Carla.

Make up your mind,

this isn't okay.

It's actually starting

to drive me insane.

[laughter, chatter]

Bruno!

Stop saying things like that.

[crying]

I'm not the type of person

that cries, but I'm so stressed

out trying to be the girl

that's really not

that interested in somebody.

That way he can go and do his

thing with this [bleep] female

that he really likes.

[soft guitar music]

♪ Feel eyes

♪ These eyes

♪ Fixed upon you

♪ And only you

[doorbell rings]

Uh-oh, new roommate.

Who is she?

What the hell is going on?

Did it just get real?

You're a mistake.

Uh-oh.

We got a new roommate.

Hey, we got a new roommate!

[bleep] that!

[electronic music]

♪

What is in the sink?

I think that's one

of those napkin things.

At what point in time

was this okay?

Nobody knows how to

clean, only me and you.

I'm living in a house

with a bunch of [bleep] pigs.

I don't think that with

this season that they need

a twist--like, that's me.

Yeah.

Yes, they do.

I don't think so.

There's nine beds, we're

gonna get two more roommates.

No, we're not.

There's nine beds.

It does look like

that, though.

Top one--top six.

One, two, three,

four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine--

there's nine and seven of us.

Yeah, there's two more.

That's two.

They don't need to bring

no more extra [indistinct] here.

If they bring my ex in,

I wouldn't even care.

Mine wouldn't come.

That'd be [bleep].

[laughs]

Yeah? Mine? No.

You would see everything

that changed.

It's just not necessary.

It's not.

Yeah.

[doorbell rings]

That's not even funny.

Imagine?

Who is that?

It's just Tony.

Tony, Tony, Tony!

[laughing]

[funky electronic music]

♪

It's time to get ready.

Oh, I cannot wear this.

Yeah, you're gonna have

dogs comin' in here.

I can't do that.

Trash that.

Where?

I'm trying to see it too.

Tonight, everybody in the house

is ready to get out and have a

good time and dance the

night away.

It's too short.

Nah, it's perfect.

I think for where we going,

you look sexy, like a nice

Mexican Marilyn Monroe,

and they ain't never

had a Marilyn Monroe,

so we need a first.

Get ready to do it, baby.

I should put shorts on.

No!

Don't be a party pooper.

Don't worry about it.

All right?

If you wanted to go,

you would have went.

Real talk.

Tonight, I am going out solo to

meet Carla with her lady friend.

Nicole was supposed to go

with me, but plans changed.

I don't even need you anymore.

Yeah, you do.

You're done.

The wolf pack howls

by himself tonight.

You changed your outfit?

That was way too short!

[laughs]

Nicole!

I'm so proud of you.

I thought tonight

was gonna be a night

to go out as a group.

I think mine has a

little bit more personal issues

in it, but I just--

I know, and I understand.

Yeah, and I obviously

know you really like this girl,

but it doesn't make

it any easier for me.

I know.

I know the situation, and I know

it sucks, you know?

It does suck, but...

I really am trying to put

on a good face about it.

No, I know, and I

appreciate it, but just know

you're not alone with it.

You know what I mean?

Bruno clearly isn't

that interested in me,

so don't pretend that you are.

We need to be done

playing games.

I'll just talk to you

later about it.

I can only take so much

before it's really gonna hit

that breaking point.

You guys go and have fun.

[electronic music]

♪

Hi, how are you?

How you doing?

How you doing?

Thank you.

This is Domenica.

Nice to meet you.

I'll move down.

I thought Nicole was coming?

I'm sorry, they all went

to [indistinct].

[Party in the Air

by The Beat Geeks]

♪ Woo!

♪ I put that drink

♪ On my tongue

♪ Now my body's getting numb ♪

♪ That means I'm getting ♪

♪ Kind of dumb

♪ Better get yo a*s

♪ On the floor

♪ Don't be 'shamed, let it go ♪

♪ I don't know what you ♪

♪ Waiting for

♪

So tell me something

about Carla that I don't know.

Go ahead, Domenica.

Lay it on him.

I just--I'm really funny.

That's why she's

my friend--she's a clown.

The situation

happened so fast.

I'm head over heels for Carla.

I mean, she looks

more than stunning.

Her personality's ridiculous.

Her personality's probably

better than how she looks,

so she's definitely a keeper.

Bruno loves just sharing

his love with one girl now.

That's it.

That's right.

Aw, you guys!

Tony blows money before he

realizes he blows it, and he's

putting us in a situation

where we have to cough up

a little bit more to cover

his lack of money.

So, I mean, I'll put in , but

if I got to put in more, I will.

I put in too!

If I got to put in

more, I will.

Man, if I know I don't

have money, I won't go out,

whereas Tony doesn't have money,

goes out, rings up the bar tab,

and can't pay for it.

I'm not gonna let it fly.

I bought two

[bleep] beers!

And I had enough to pay

for my [bleep] beers, okay?

No! I cannot stop!

I'm done!

Sylvia has a temper.

Get--her eyes get all big, and,

you know, they look crazy,

and sometime she look crazy.

It's kind of scary.

Don't mess with Sylvia

when she's mad.

Oh, [bleep]!

Shut it!

Shut the [bleep] door.

You really just carried me!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my--

What the [bleep]?

Drunk-a*s Tony

can't pay his [bleep] tab.

Hey, no, no, Sylvia,

we need to talk.

No! Don't tell me "Hey,

Sylvia."

Don't tell me "Hey, Sylvia."

Stop, stop, stop--

Don't tell me "Hey, Sylvia!"

Stop!

Because I'm [bleep]

done--no.

How much do I owe you?

How much do I owe, Sylvia?

You don't owe me nothing.

How much do I owe?

Nothing.

How much?

Nothing!

Yeah, 'cause I only did a

sip on that [bleep] bottle

y'all bought.

You didn't have a sip

of what?

You didn't have a sip of what?

I had two [bleep] beers!

[bleep] stop!

When Sylvia's mad,

she's like The Hulk.

Who paid your beer tab?

I did--I did...

I had two beers!

You sack of [bleep]!

[bleep]

I didn't take a sip off

of that [bleep] bottle

y'all bought.

It's not a bottle!

I paid your beer tab!

Stop.

How much was my [bleep]

beer tab?

Stop that!

What are you doing?

I ordered two [bleep]

beers, Sylvia!

Tony...

And I paid it!

Stop!

Oh, my God!

[overlapping shouting]

Stop!

Every dollar in my

[bleep] wallet!

Have some [bleep] respect!

Stop it!

Sylvia, oh, my gosh.

You are acting irrational.

You're acting crazy.

Well, it's [bleep] up,

if you didn't have money

to pay your two [bleep] beer--

My guess, it has nothing

to do with Tony.

I think Sylvia's upset

with Bruno.

[all speaking at once]

Tony, she's a lady!

She's a lady, what are you

doing, come on.

No, she's acting [bleep]

stupid!

She's acting [bleep] stupid!

Stop, she's still a lady.

Tell me that I'm not

acting stupid, J!

He could have paid

for his two [bleep] beers!

Let it go!

No, she--I thought we...

Let it go!

Was on the same level,

you know?

Let it go, man.

Don't tell me that I'm

stupid because I paid your

[bleep] tab.

Just relax because it's

not worth you getting upset.

It's not worth you getting

your high blood pressure.

It's not worth you tearing up.

Sylvia, obviously she has a lot

on her chest,

and I can see her eyes,

and it's just built-up rage.

All your built up emotions is--

you're raging out on Tony.

I understand.

He didn't have to act

like a d*ck when I came into

this house.

And you know what?

I agree with you, he didn't.

But you slightly overreacted.

Slightly.

Tony, into the room.

Yeah, buddy.

Whew!

Hi, Bruno.

Tony is [bleep] up,

so make sure he stays in his bed

and goes to sleep.

Bruno!

When'd you get home?

Like five minutes ago.

How was your night?

Yeah, I heard.

Hey, Sylv.

Mind if I sit?

I got in a huge fight

today, so--

I don't want to see

you crying.

Tony doesn't have enough

to cover his tab, and I'm--

So you got stuck paying it?

Yeah.

For him to get that drunk

and expect us to take care

of him, that's unfair to us.

That's not him giving

a [bleep] about us.

You have to realize at the end

of the day, he's being selfish.

You know what I mean?

I try my hardest

to keep my angry side in.

I really, really do.

It's not a good look for me,

but the whole Carla-Bruno thing,

I let it bother me.

Obviously you know

I care about you.

It obviously sucks that I know

that you're super

happy with Carla.

It's hard for me,

and I think that's maybe

why I got a little more angry.

You know I really

didn't intend for--

I know you didn't.

Things just got flustered

and caught up in the moment.

But then, I mean,

you found somebody you really

care about and you really like,

and I'm not--I'm not mad--

It's not that I really

don't like you either.

It's just--

It makes more--I know.

Situation's tough.

Yeah, but you have to

understand I'm a jealous girl.

I've told you that.

I'm a jealous girl,

especially for somebody

I care about.

So I'm gonna care

about you always.

I care about you, too.

Maybe in a different universe.

In a different universe,

maybe.

I'm hoping that Sylvia

and I transition from

whatever was going on into

just friends, you know.

I want to be able to

talk to her.

Yeah?

[murmurs]

Aw.

Good night.

You don't want nothing?

A Reese's will make you

feel better.

No, I think it'll be fine.

Nobody likes rejection,

but I was raised to be tough,

and you win some, lose some.

As long as he's happy,

that's all that matters.

Good night.

Good night.

[sniffles]

♪ There were too many times

♪ When I fell, alone

♪ You never carried

♪ Your weight

♪ Don't ever call it your own ♪

♪ So leave me now

♪ Leave me now

♪ Leave me now-ow-ow

All right, so Syl,

why were you so upset at me

last night?

I saw you ordering

your drinks at the bar.

Then the tab came around,

and you were like, "I don't have

the money." That--

I had two Bud Lights.

It was everything else.

Like, I didn't know who ordered

a Jameson shot, and it--

Wait, whoa, whoa.

I forgot the server came around,

and I ordered shots.

Like, I totally forgot

about that.

I don't want them to think

that I'm just mooching, and,

like, the yelling match,

I feel terrible about that.

Like, I don't--I never

wanted to be like that.

I can be a really big

b*tch sometimes, but, like,

for the most part I try to eat

it and just be like, "Yeah,

let's laugh about it,"

and I think last night I was

just like, "I cannot

deal with this."

I am gonna try and keep

my temper under control.

I'm gonna try and lock it in.

Tony not paying

for some bar tabs?

Really not that big of a deal.

Let's squash it, let's move on.

Let's have a good day.

I'm done with drama.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hey, Sylvia, ready

for your interview?

Sure am.

Perfect.

I'll see you outside.

Okay.

Okay, bye.

Bye-bye.

I'm tired.

I'm gonna take a nap.

You about to take a nap?

Yeah.

So we have a lot to cover.

I figured we did.

So we'll be here for,

like, the next two hours.

Yay!

[claps]

[doorbell rings]

Who is this?

We don't know who this is.

That's a girl.

Wait, she has a suitcase.

She does.

Who the hell is that

with luggage?

What the hell is going on?

Uh-oh.

New roommate.

Hi.

Hello.

Hi.

Hello. Alicia.

Madison. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Sylvia's friend.

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

What's her name?

Yeah.

Hi.

What's up?

My name's Alicia.

What is it?

Alicia.

Sylvia's not here.

Where is she?

She in her interview.

Where?

Like, right down the street.

What's going on today?

It's gonna be a good day.

I have a gut feeling

it's gonna be a really good day.

I'm gonna be hanging out

with you guys for a while.

Wait, wait, wait.

Where are you staying?

Here.

Yeah, but where?

They are bringing me a bed.

What the [bleep]?

Can I, like, come up?

Yeah. Come on. I'll--

Oh, sorry.

Did it just get real?

Dude.

Did it just get real?

What the--what the [bleep]?

Like, what--

what's going on here?

So, like, you know Sylvia,

I'm assuming?

Yeah. We work together.

Oh, okay.

And live in K.C. together.

Sylvia and I,

we were really good friends.

We started out bartending

together.

I earned my position

as the boss lady.

She's still bartending.

It drove her [bleep] crazy.

She would not, like,

listen to anything I said.

I was really, really,

really [bleep] mean to her.

Sylvia has notoriously been

known for [bleep]

other people's boyfriends.

But I, like, talked down to her

and would just, like,

demean the [bleep] out of her.

I don't think she's ever won

win an argument with me.

She always loses.

So are you, like,

moving in here?

I'm staying. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Cool.

I have a key.

Yay! Oh, my gosh.

Cool.

Me coming into the house,

it can go one of two ways.

It can go really good,

or it's gonna be really bad.

Hi.

No.

No?

No shaking the hands.

Hi.

She works with Sylvia, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait--you work with her?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I thought you were--

I'm gonna tread lightly.

Did she invite you to come?

What?

Did she invite you?

No.

She doesn't know I'm here.

Sylvia has been telling me

about this one girl back home

that always screws with her

and always is mean to her.

For some reason, the name

right now is going blank to me.

If this is the girl I think

it is, I'm not dealing with it.

Like,

I'm literally shaking right now.

Yeah. Well, that's real.

I respect that.

My boss, Alicia.

Back home, we like to refer

to her as the boss from hell.

That's our new roommate.

Nicole.

Alicia.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

What's up?

We got a new roommate.

It's just like, "Wait, what?"

You want to share a bed?

With you? Sure.

She's serious though.

I'll share--

I'll cuddle with her. It's okay.

I like her.

This is V and Sylvia's room.

Oh.

They're so clean. It's--

You know Sylvia?

Yeah. I know Sylvia.

She's a neat freak, right?

No, Sylvia's messy as

[bleep].

Oh, she's putting on a front

over here then.

Cause she gets on our a*s,

and she, like,

makes sure everything's clean.

No, she's messy as [bleep].

How would you describe

Alicia's personality?

Alicia's a compulsive liar,

and I'm not the type

that is okay with that.

I don't like to be lied to.

I don't like to be lied about.

You can only take so many lies

before you have to cut

those people out of your life.

Wait, are y'all, like,

friends?

Like, were y'all close?

We work together.

Are y'all on good terms?

That's the thing.

She left on bad terms.

She left in a really [bleep]

way.

She didn't even tell me

she was leaving.

How old are you?

I'm .

You're single?

Yeah. My boyfriend just

broke up with me two weeks ago.

Nice.

Man, I don't--dude,

that's--hm.

Yeah.

I have copious amounts

of alcohol in my bag.

Whoa.

Let's go get it!

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Your new best friend.

Madison, I think,

is in Madison world.

We can drink.

I think she just thinks

this is a new roommate,

and we're gonna be friends,

and we're gonna hang out,

and she doesn't realize the true

seriousness of this problem.

I wouldn't drink

if I was you, truthfully.

You're gonna get drunk before?

You're fine, right?

I wouldn't get drunk too

early--I really wouldn't.

Why?

She's only gonna

be gone an hour.

Sylvia's coming in one hour.

So? What is she

gonna do to me?

I just want Syl to get home.

I just want to see

what she says.

If this is not one

of Syl's friends, if this is

that b*tch she was talking

about, if you--if--MTV,

if you're doing this me, oh,

man.

I can play.

They call you Bubbles?

Yeah.

That was my nickname too.

No!

Yeah.

Her nickname was Bubbles!

Madison made a friend.

Yeah.

[laughing]

What is she saying about her?

She said that Sylvia's

the messiest girl ever,

so the fact that Sylvia's acting

like she's clean--

And I'm like, "Well,

why is she always

on our case and on our a*s?"

That's what I said.

Sylvia's dirty?

Miss clean dishes after you

get done using 'em dirty?

Nah, I don't believe that.

We don't even know this shorty!

Hey, let's not turn

on our roommate though.

You're turning on Sylvia

already, taking her words

into consideration?

We don't even know that chick.

What are y'all doing?

Already y'all falling for it!

I really don't know

what to think right now.

I'm just--

I want to see Sylvia's face

when she get home,

and then I'm gonna know

what to think then.

[thunder rumbling]

Oh.

The boys are mine.

It's a wolf pack.

You can't get into the wolf

pack no matter what.

You can be married

into the family though.

I think I'm allowed two wives.

Actually, your best friend

is my first wife.

Sylvia? She's lots

of people's wives.

So I'm just gonna flat

out say it.

I don't like you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Wait, what?

At this point,

I'm sure it's the girl

that Sylvia does not want here.

How much do you dislike

this girl?

On a scale from one

to if you were on fire

I wouldn't piss on you

to put you out...

yeah, way above that.

You know what this [bleep]

means, Tony?

You know that they're not

just sending one person out.

They're sending six more.

We're completely screwed.

What do you know

that we don't know?

Like, is there other people--

There is something.

Alicia, is there other people

coming for us?

She knows stuff we don't

know.

She said it's only her.

No. I--

It's only good for Sylvia,

but what about for us?

No. Dude--

Yeah, I know, but they

keep everything a secret.

There's something she knows.

Hey, man. Trust the--

I think we should stop trying

to figure it out and let it just

pop off, man--enjoy this.

This is gonna be dope.

This is a house with no

secrets, bro.

Exactly.

I got , things running

through my head, you know?

Frenemies, sisteries,

brotherdlies, bosslies.

No idea.

Who the hell are

they gonna bring for me?

I have a feeling

it's gonna be either my brother

or my ex-girlfriend.

Who's next?

Yay.

And now that it's official

that they are bringing people

inside the house, I know for a

fact they're gonna bring this

girl in--

You think I'm a b*tch?

You think I'm a princess?

This girl has me look

like a peasant

with her [bleep] personality.

If it's the person

I think that's coming,

I would love

to smash her in the face.

Not gonna lie.

Do you know

what the best thing is?

That Madison is just

sitting there like she just

made a new best friend.

[laughing]

I'm excited though.

This is exciting.

Good.

I'm glad somebody's excited.

So do you know, like,

how long you're gonna be here?

Um--

They told you

you're gonna get a bed?

Yeah. They did.

And, like--

Madison! Remember

that she's only temporary,

and you choose should your

friends wisely.

What are you talking about?

It's just talking.

It's being friendly.

You're not gonna

be friends with people

if you're friends with her.

Okay.

Well, that's nice of you.

Madison's digging

a really big hole for herself,

one that is gonna be hard

to get out of.

I actually do know

where your bed's gonna be.

The trash can's right here.

You can jump on in.

Oh, you're so special.

Know how Violetta's treating me

right now and how she's talking,

it makes me question and wonder

what is so awful about me

that Sylvia told her?

Alicia is a raging b*tch.

She's told people

that I'm a huge sl*t,

I'm a party girl, um, I sleep

with people's boyfriends.

She really [bleep]

over my friends.

My best friend and roommate

had a boyfriend of six years,

and she [bleep] him.

So Sylvia [bleep]

your best friend's boyfriend?

Mm-hmm.

The real question is,

is what actually happened

between you and Sylvia.

You can as Sylvia about it.

If Sylvia doesn't like you,

it's gonna be a problem,

because obviously I

care about everybody here.

Yeah.

I just told her

that I knew where her bed is,

and I opened up the trash can,

and I went, "You should just

go ahead and jump right in."

You can't talk too much

smack just yet--it's too early.

No, it's not.

Yeah. It's too early.

Wait 'til you see--

It's too early.

You got to see Sylvia's reaction

first.

Oh, we are?

You guys are [bleep] kidding,

right?

That is such bull[bleep].

Is this a present?

You have a bed coming!

Things are about to get

so [bleep] twisted.

In five seconds,

you're helping me pick up

the bed and bring it outside.

I'm not kidding.

Done.

If Sylvia doesn't like her,

she's not staying.

She's not welcome.

Looks like we're roommates.

Pffftt!

[laughing]

Did you ever seeScary Movie?

No.

You are about to be in one.

Why? What did I do?

'Cause you are a horrible

human being.

What did I do?

You just suck, dude.

You suck. Like, you're a [bleep]

that should have been swallowed.

What did I do?

Like, you're a mistake.

What did I do?

Get out of my face.

I'm gonna go wait for Sylvia.

Okay, so you're a little

heated right now, right?

Yeah. I'm--I'm livid.

Because obviously something's

been said, but you're gonna be

able to have your truth

just like she had her truth,

and there's two sides

to every story,

and then, like, the truth

is gonna come out now. Right?

Mm-hmm.

Is this Jeff?

Okay, Jeff, listen.

You--you do understand that this

will be the first episode

ofReal World where someone

gets, like, k*lled, right?

Oh, man.

Now come out here with me.

I already know that I'm not

gonna get along with her 'cause

I'm friends with Sylvia.

You already made up your mind

just now that you--

I already, in my mind,

decided that I'm gonna

make her cry every single time

before she goes to bed.

I have already mentally prepared

myself to be the biggest b*tch

I can possibly be.

That's why you crazy.

Sorry.

That's why you crazy.

Oh, my gosh.

You guys are gonna have so much

[bleep] entertainment

for the next few weeks.

I'm gonna make her life

a living hell until she leaves.

This house started with seven.

This house will end with seven.

[rock music]

♪

♪ When everything is over

♪ We turn out the lights

♪

She wants to live here?

She can pick it up

from the ground.

It's different.

It is different.

Her [bleep] bed's

on the floor 'cause

that's where dogs sleep.

Game on, mother[bleep].

♪

Like a pack of wolves

feeding on prey right now.

Do you like

what I did with the downstairs?

Oh, damn. Hey.

Dogs sleep on the ground.

You don't know how it's gonna

be until Sylvia gets here.

You're only prey

if you let yourself be prey.

Thanks, guys. Bye!

Are you a drama queen?

You have a lot of drama back

home?

No.

No?

I mean, my employees

are scared of me.

They think I'm mean.

They think you're mean?

Yeah.

That's, like, 'cause you,

like, enforce the rules.

Yeah, but I, like,

snap when I, like, tell them,

like, "What the [bleep]

is wrong with you?"

By the way,

she threw your stuff down.

Yeah. She threw your blankets

off your bed.

That's okay.

Okay.

What the [bleep] did

I get myself into?

I'm walking into a situation

where I am not on top,

and I'm not the one

that is in charge,

and I have no idea

what to do with myself.

You prepared for this,

to be in this house?

What is gonna go on?

This experience.

Like, are you ready for this?

It's rough.

They came at me with a coat rack

the first night.

No.

These girls are tough.

Don't make it like we all

came at you with a coat rack.

I didn't say you.

You said they though.

You said they.

No.

I'm sorry I said that.

We all have our ups

and downs.

What do you want from me?

I was there for you with--

from day one through everything.

Okay, well, okay,

I was blacked out then.

Oh, forget this.

How do you even say that?

You never discuss house business

with somebody you don't know.

We're family.

Anybody else that comes in?

We don't know them.

Sylvia and me did nothing.

The guys did nothing to you.

You gravitated towards her.

We don't even know her

from a hole in the wall!

I'm not taking her side!

You are--you're with her.

You're best friends with her.

No, I'm not!

I'm just friendly!

Sorry I'm welcoming to anyone

because when I came

in the situation, that's how

I would want someone

to be to me!

I can't to see your ex

come here, and I'm gonna sit

next to him, your ex-boyfriend,

your ex-girlfriend,

your best friend,

your enemy, whoever.

I am gonna sit next to them

like they're my best friend

just to show you how that feels.

Well, that's nice of you.

Well, why would you do

it to her?

I'm not doing anything!

When she's not home?

I'm being myself.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to grab her bed

and throw it down really quick?

I did already.

Let me throw her mattress!

You want me to throw

the mattress?

All right. I'm going.

Do it.

Watch me.

I'm extremely confused.

Apparently I'm supposed

to be mean to Alicia,

and I don't know how to be mean.

Yo.

I'm sorry, lady.

Oh, [bleep].

Do you need help?

Oh!

Hey! Hey, what point

are you trying to prove?

I'm proving

that this is my house,

and I'm living in--

with these people right now.

I mean,

you don't have to flip that

over to prove a point to us.

Obviously you showed

yourself right there.

You're still a woman

of your own opinion!

Don't run with everybody

else's opinion.

Dude, have your own!

Well, then can I

put her mattress back?

'Cause I feel bad.

Yeah! You might need to!

We haven't even seen Sylvia yet.

We should just chill

until we see what's--

how Sylvia reacts.

Exactly,

and that's all we're gonna do.

She's here, dude.

You're gonna be pissed.

Why?

We got a new roommate.

Hey, we got a new roommate.

The bed's in your room.

She's waiting

to talk to you on the patio.

Go [bleep] look outside.

Who's outside?

Go look outside.

I don't want to.

Look on the ground.

Uh-oh.

Who is she?

Are--are you friends

with this girl or no?

Dude, no!

This episode ofReal World

continues right now.

We got a new roommate.

Hey, we got a new roommate.

Who is she?

Are--are you friends

with this girl or no?

Dude, no!

Like, where the [bleep] is

she sleeping?

Your room!

In your room!

Your room!

[bleep] no!

I am shaking right now.

[bleep] that!

I am thinking holy [bleep],

I've been ambushed.

My first idea

is get her the [bleep] out now.

Could it get any worse

at this point?

Did you have sex with

her best friend's boyfriend?

Alicia's tried to make me out

to be this horrible sl*t

that sleeps

with everybody's boyfriends.

Who knows what kind of lies

she's told everybody

that I'm just now starting to

get to know on a personal level?

Hey, Sylvia, she said

you were messy back home.

I was [bleep]--

Yo! I swear to God!

Swear to God on my life.

That's what she told them.

I didn't hear that,

but that's what she told them.

Because your room was so

clean, and I was showing her

your room and I was like, "Yeah,

Sylvia's a clean person."

She's never even been

in my house!

I'd say Alicia lies probably

about % of the time.

You should go say hi to her.

She's outside waiting for you.

You might as well.

This person is a raging b*tch

from hell.

If I have to be in this house

with her,

I have half a mind to smother

her when she's sleeping.

I can't have her

in the same room as me.

Hi.

This is crazy.

I'm gonna watch this.

We're creeping.

So welcome.

Thanks.

Everybody, have you met

Alicia?

Heard she was

your best friend.

Best friends.

Wait, I thought

you were gonna call her out?

'Cause I have, like,

minutes left to go to work,

so just let it out.

Next time onReal World...

Go the [bleep] home.

Nobody wants you here,

you [bleep] b*tch. Seriously.

You have a child on the way!

You would never let

your daughter

get drunk like that!

[overlapping shouting]

I just had sex with Madison.

[doorbell rings]

My girlfriend walks

through the door--now what?

[bleep]

What?

Damn.

Someone's here?