01x03 - Sunday: Doomsday

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

Starring Buddy Ebsen.

Also starring Lee Meriwether.

With guest stars Gary Lockwood,

Corinne Camacho.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Good morning, Betty.

How are you on this beautiful...

What's wrong?

I don't know.

That was on our door when
I came in this morning,

and this was with it.

"In memoriam.

Barnaby Jones,
who will die..."

"Sunday the fourth."

[wry laugh]

That's funny.

I feel fine.

Never felt better in my life.

That's three days from now.

What kind of a sick joke
is that?

Oh, forget it.

I've gotten crank mail before.

Well, I'm not going
to forget about it.

I'm going to call
Lieutenant Taylor or somebody

down in that department,
if you're not going to,

and I'm going to call off
the barbecue for tonight.

Look, I'm taking it serious.

There's no reason
for both of us to panic.

We'll have the
barbecue at the ranch,

exactly as planned.

All right.

No panic.

Barbecue as planned.

But are you going to call
Lieutenant Taylor, or am I?

Well, I think I'll pay him
a personal visit.

Somebody wants me dead Sunday.

Sunday's a rotten day to die.

Your life's darned valuable
to me, Barnaby.

But not so much I can assign you
an around-the-clock bodyguard.

Is that what I asked?

If I were you and you were me,

I'd be screaming in your
face and pounding a fist

for you to get off your duff

and protect a civilian like me.

I'm not really worried.

Well, I am.

What kind of a mind
sends a funeral wreath?

A cruel, twisted mind.

But that's not enough
for us to move on,

and you know it.

Who asked you to?

No, you didn't.

But what do you want?

[intercom buzzes]

Later.

List of men I sent up
or helped send up.

I want you to cross-check
that against whoever came out

of prison lately... let's say
in the last six months...

And, uh, give me
a printout on it.

And what about all those names
not on this list...

The ones who never did any time

because their lawyers
got them off?

That would make the list
too long.

I've got to limit it somewhere.

A man you send to prison has got
a bone to pick with you.

You've heard that saying,
haven't you, Joe?

Work on it, will you?

Okay.

I want to talk
to every one of them.

Funeral wreath.

What kind of a man
thinks like that?

Psychopath.

Weirdo.

GIRL:
Daddy, not too fast!

I'm getting dizzy.

Please, I'm afraid.

More?

No. I don't think so.

The faster, the better.

You'll love it.
It's going too fast.

No!

Please, no! I'm afraid!
She's scared. She wants off.

Please, please!

[girl whimpering]

Hey, don't tease her like that.

She wants off.
Who asked you?

I'm a mother, and I know
when a child is scared.

And I don't like people
butting in my business.

What's it to you anyway, lady?

WOMAN 2: Listen, mister,
I've seen her here before,

but I've never seen you.

Who are you, anyway?

[laughing]:
Well...

Ladies, I'm the little tyke's
father.

Daddy, I want to go home.

I want to go home.

Just one more thing, baby.

[laughing]

Hey, you can't do that.

Daddy, you're funny.

Race you to the car?

Okay.
Come on!

[girl laughing]

[girl laughing]

Oh, you're so late, you two.

I was worried,
and it's nasty outside.

Did you have a good time?

Daddy played a joke on a lady.

Uh, well, you're going
to have to hurry.

We, uh... we're late
for the doctor.

[groans]
Oh, come on, now.

Daddy should have
brought you home sooner.

Hey... give Daddy
a big kiss, huh?

Thanks for the nice time.

Okay, honey.

I mean it, Howard.
I want you to see her,

but you're just going to have
to bring her home on time.

We agreed upon a certain
thing, and you have... [gasps]

[whispering]:
Don't you ever criticize me
in front of our daughter.

You understand, Bonnie?

As far as she's concerned,

we're supposed to be in
love with each other.

Understand?

So don't you ever
criticize me again.

All right, Howard.

[sighs, laughs]

Yeah, we had a nice time.

She's a great girl.

Yeah.

I, uh, I'm glad.

I, I, um, want you to see her
whenever you can.

Hey, look, I appreciate it.
I really do.

It's going to be a...
a regular thing now.

I got a job.

Right here in town... draftsman.

That sounds wonderful.

I learned it

while I was in prison.

I'm good at it, too.

Well, I'm glad everything
is going so well for you.

Hey, you know what?

I kind of got
a serious girlfriend.

Well, that's...
that's very nice.

Yeah, we wrote a lot while
I was in, and, uh...

it's got kind of serious.

In fact, I was going
to ask you a favor.

What sort of favor?

I want to get her
a birthday present.

You know... uh, I don't know...
She keeps talking about a dress.

A nice dress.

Yeah, okay.

What, um, size does she wear?

What kind?

Just about your size.

Hey, she keeps harping
about basic black,

so why don't you get her
a nice black dress, huh?

Sure.

Oh, uh, Bonnie.

Uh...

here's some money
for the dress...

and just maybe you could
put that in with it, okay?

Mm-hmm.

Thanks.

Your money's no good, Danny.

Put it away.

Give the gentleman
another drink.

We'll be at the table.

Your money never was
any good, Danny.

Another milk, too?

Maybe later.

My money wasn't that bad.

Passed for seven months before
anybody hollered q*eer.

How was it in the slammer
this time, Danny?

You meet old friends.

What's on your mind, Jones?

You working, Danny?

No, Barnaby, I'm not.

But it's a funny thing.

I don't have to check with you
or my parole officer.

My parole was over the


Congratulations.

So?

Do you want
to knock me over, Danny?

[laughing]

You?

That's not a bad idea.

But it's no way to make a buck.

How do you figure
to make a buck?

[sighs]

I'm moving to Hawaii.

I'm getting married.

My new wife has a
steady job there.

Look for yourself.

Two tickets,
L.A.-Hawaii.

One way.

Leaving Saturday.
See?

You satisfied?

Satisfied.

Checked out Danny Gernreich.

Number seven on the list.

Big fat zero, Joe.

Why don't you just hole up out
at the ranch and lock your doors

until we can find out if
this screwball is for real?

I'm a growing boy.

I need fresh air.

[phone rings in outer office]

You mean crawl in a hole
and pull it in after me?

For how long?

We'll have a final printout

on the rest of those
names maybe tomorrow.

Barnaby, there's a
Jonathan Conroy on the line.

He says it's personal.

We don't have him in the files.

Excuse me, Joe.

Barnaby Jones.

[altering voice]:
This is Jonathan Conroy,
Mr. Jones.

You remember me
from the Newport Ski Club

last Fourth of July?

I don't exactly recall,

but, uh, what can I do
for you, sir?

Well, I certainly remember you.

You and how you knew everything
about them g*ns.

[mouthing]

Betty, try to trace this.

Y-You still there, Mr. Jones?

Yes, yes, I was just trying

to, uh, recall our conversation.

Uh, I really don't know

everything there is
to know about g*ns.

Well, now,

I'm fixing to go hunting
in a few days,

and I just wanted to make sure

I took along
the right equipment.

What kind of game
are you going for?

Well, the animal I'm tracking,
Mr. Jones,

stands about 73 inches tall,
weighs maybe 180-185 pounds,

and has gray hair.

You got any ideas?

Yes.

Don't aim that g*n at me unless
you're hiding behind a rock.

Oh, it'll be face-to-face,
Barnaby.

You can count on that.

Listen.

Are you still there?

Hello?

Hello?

[line clicks]

Any luck?

No, darn it.

Well, I couldn't hold him
any longer.

Forget it.

TAYLOR: He didn't sound
familiar to me.

A real cutie.

Did you reach your friend?

I reached him.

He agrees with you.

That's, that's the
one... I'll take it.

Oh, say, uh, 20 rounds of
high-powered ammunition.

I know you'll find it's
everything you require, sir.

[coughs]

Sir, I realize
the chamber is empty,

but a good rule is:
never point a weapon at anybody

unless you want to k*ll him.

You're absolutely right.

[sniffling]

♪ ♪

Really, Mr. Jones,
Tamar is too much.

Is he a trick horse?

You bet you, he's a trick horse.

A matter of fact, before
I came out of retirement,

I taught him quite a few stunts.

Of course, we're probably
a little rusty now,

Aw...
but we'll see.

Rusty?

If Barnaby isn't fishing
when he takes a break,

he's out here riding Tamar.

[chuckles]

Yeah, it's getting
a little dangerous

riding in the valley.

Stray Indians,
Barnaby?
No, freeways.

[laughter]

Well, Tamar,

you got an audience here.

Step up, folks.

Step up a little closer, folks.

See Tamar, the one and only.

Are you ready?

[Barnaby whistles,
Tamar whinnies]

[cheering]

[neighs]

Do it again.
And for an encore...

[whistles]

[Tamar neighs, spectators cheer]

Good boy.

He's a good old boy,
yeah, he's a good old boy.

Betty, your barbecue
is delicious.

Oh, I saw you go
off your diet, though.

It's going to take
two weeks in the gym.

[laughing]
Sorry about that.

Well, I have to get
rid of it somehow.

I beg your pardon.

I have a delivery
for a Betty Jones.

Well, that's me.

A package?

Barnaby, what is this,

a surprise?

Not from me, maybe from one
of your other admirers.

[chuckling]:
Yeah.

Thank you.

Looks nice, whatever it is.

Yeah, well, let's see.

Hey...

It's not my birthday.

What is this?

Beautiful dress.

[lilting chuckle]

"For you to wear
at Barnaby Jones' funeral."

You're the last person
I expected to see.

The last I ever wanted to see.

Excuse me if I keep working.

I promised this customer.

I don't want to bother you,
Mrs. Padget.

I want to talk to your husband.

That's a good one.

Funny.

Funny ha-ha and funny peculiar.

I'd laugh, but it's just
a little bit too ironic.

Well, you can't talk to Marty,

so if that's all, good-bye.

It's just for a few minutes.

It's important to me

and it might be important
to the both of you.

Why all this interest
in Marty now?

You couldn't care less
when you sent him up in '58.

I didn't send him up,
Mrs. Padget.

He broke the law
and the law sent him up

and you both know that.

What's so important,
all of a sudden?

Somebody is threatening
to k*ll me.

I hope they do.

It's obvious that it's someone

who hates me,
and Marty's on that list.

Where is he?

In Sawtelle Cemetery.

He was in a hospital ward

all last year and he finally
got his hand on a p*stol.

[whispering]:
I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry,
Laura, believe me.

[phone rings]

Barnaby Jones' office.
May I help you?

[altering voice]: Yeah, this is
George T. Lane speaking.

L-A-N-E.

Is, uh, Mr. Jones there?

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Lane.

Uh, Mr. Jones isn't
in the office at the moment.

Can I take a message?

Well, gee, I, uh, I do want
to reach him right away.

It's important.

Do you know
where I might find him?

Oh, I'm sorry, he's, he's due at
a meeting at Century Plaza West,

and I don't think
I'll be able to reach him.

He's due out of there
about 2:00, 2:15.

Could I have him call you then?

Yeah, uh, no-no, I, uh,
I'll call back.

I'm, I'm not in the office
right now.

Thanks. Good-bye.

Good-bye.

♪ ♪

[whirring]

[whirring]

[whirring]

This just came
special messenger.

♪ ♪

BETTY:
"Two... days...

to... live."

No fingerprints.

I didn't expect any.

Felt pen you can buy anywhere

and no trace
on that special messenger.

You can buy this
photographic paper

in a thousand stores
in Los Angeles.

This was obviously taken
when you returned the dress.

Hey.

What?

You remember I told you

the man who called
and never called back?

Yeah.
Well, that's
how he got that one.

I told him
where you were going to be.

Let me get that name.

The name is George somebody,

except it was Jonathan something

when he called
from the skeet sh**ting club.

No, names and sound of voices
aren't going to help us now.

Barnaby, all of this...
The-the wreath, those pictures.

Why would anybody...?

Go to all that trouble?

Yeah.
He wants me
to sweat.

Pulling the wings off the fly.

You want me to call Joe Taylor?

No, not just yet.

Betty, if I asked you
to draw a circle on something,

what would you use?

The size of these?

The size of those
and as perfect as those.

Oh, a water glass,
a bottom of a coffee can maybe.

No,

perfect.

Oh, one of those,
um, whatchamacallits

that kids use in school.

These weren't drawn by any kids,

and those whatchamacallits
are a compass,

or a pair of dividers.

Perfect circle.

Right on the nose.

Now, each one of these prints...

has a little hole right
in the middle of the circle,

and these crosshairs
he drew in...

You could, uh, draft plans

with those right angles.

So who are we up against?

What kind of profession
would you say

we might be dealing with?

An engineer.
Draftsman maybe.

They teach drafting
in penitentiaries.

A draftsman.

A draftsman who's a real cutie.

♪ ♪

WOMAN [over speakerphone]:
Roger Gosset.


Santa Monica.

Released from Chino Authority


Anybody else?

Negative.

Okay. Thanks.

Roger Gosset, Barnaby.

Now, unless there's somebody
convicted on a federal rap

and sent out of state,
Gosset's got to be your man.

Will you check the disposition

of those sent
to Federal penitentiaries?

Sure, it's in the works.

You should be getting a teletype

from Washington anytime now.

But I'll bet it's Gosset.

He's local, he's a draftsman,

and he learned it in jail.

WOMAN: Roger, are you
too busy to see anybody?

[sighs]
No, Mom, send him in.

Hello, Gosset.

Barnaby Jones?

I don't believe it.

[laughs]
Hey, it's good
to see you.

No kidding.

How about a cup of coffee?

No, thanks.

Uh, good to see you, too.

How's it going?
Oh, great, great.

Whole new career...
Couldn't be better.

Say, what brings you here?

Somebody's trying to k*ll me.

I thought maybe you.

[sighs]

Why should I want to k*ll you,
Mr. Jones?

You, uh...
you did me a favor, you know.

I did?

How do you figure?

Well, look, when you nabbed me,
man, I was... I was dying.

I had a... I had a habit.

I was pushing.

Now I'm clean.

I'm working.

I got a future.

Besides, I couldn't very well
k*ll you, even if I wanted to.

Why not?

You remember the New Year's riot

at Chino, don't you?

See, I figured
if I had to make a trade...

Losing my mobility but...
finding myself...

Well, that's more than a lot
of guys ever get, isn't it?

So, like I said,
between what you did

and getting the education
in prison,

I got to figure somebody
did me a favor.

♪ ♪

I see.

Oh, no, no, that's all right.

Listen, thank you for that.

Bye.

BARNABY:
Thank who for what?

Well, it worked out like this.

There were only two men
sent up on Federal charges.

Sedlin is still in Leavenworth.

But, in Atlanta...

Howard Lee. Fraud.

Yeah.

He was released last week.

And he has a trade school
qualification in...

Drafting.

Drafting.

Production artist,
rendering, like that.

They said he's an
exceptionally fine student.

Did he know where he
went on the outside?

No, uh, served his
full sentence, was released.

That's all the warden knew.

What now?

I can take it from here.

Take it where?

Well, there are plenty of places

where I can look for him:
old address,

old friends, hangouts.

Don't worry about it.

What do you mean,
don't worry about it?

Well, you've got
things to do and...

Thanks.

For what?

I think you just saved my life.

You still have to get
through tomorrow.

Oh, uh... you got
any special plans for...

Barnaby.

I'd like you to plan
to spend tonight

and all day tomorrow
out at the ranch.

All right.

What about you?
Oh, I'll be here.

I won't be able to cover
all the bases I want anyway.

I'm going to ask Joe to let me
use a couple of hotlines.

I might ask some of the
off-duty boys to help me out.

I'll be here till I poop out,

and when I get sleepy,
I'll sack in on the daybed.

[sighs]

I don't like it.

Nobody's asking you to like it.

You sure you'll be all right?

I've done it before.

You will eat something,

won't you?

Which reminds me...
I've got to do some shopping.

Cupboards look pretty skimpy
after the barbecue.

You can take off anytime.

Oh, honey, before you go,
would you get me Joe?

Look...

we're better off than
we were an hour ago.

Before, all we knew

was that there was
somebody out there

wiring a booby trap for me.

At least now, I know
what the booby trap looks like.

Betty Jones, isn't it?

I beg your pardon?

Betty Jones?

Hal's wife?

I'm Brian Harper.

I'm sorry.

UCLA.

I was a friend of Hal's,
and you and I

met several times
after the games.

I...

Well, obviously,
you don't remember.

Forgive me.

Brian Harper?
Yeah.

How do you do?

Yeah, Hal and I were on
the swimming team together,

and we were both Sigma Phis.

The literary society.

I, uh...

I was in the Bahamas
when I heard about Hal.

I'm sorry, Betty.

He was quite a guy.

How's Barnaby?

Oh, he's fine.

Well, I met him once.

Oh.

Yeah, after that famous
water polo game

against Berkeley.

Oh, yes.

I remember that one.

Well, give my regards.

I'll do that.

It' nice to see you
again, Betty.
Yes.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.
Bye.

[engine struggles]

[engine struggling]

Hey.

You out of gas?

Out of something, Betty.

Well, listen, there's a gas
station a couple of blocks down.

You want me to give you a lift?

Gee, you sure
I'm not putting you out?

No problem.

Come on.

Okay.

Oh. Thanks.

[engine starts]

Well, he must be in
trouble again, Mr. Jones.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be here.

I wanted to be sure.

That's why I want
to talk to him.

But I never know when
he's going to show up.

I mean, we are divorced,
you know... when he was in.

Howard only comes by
when he's visiting Chris.

Where is he living
now, Ms. Lee?

I really don't know that.

Can't you tell me why
you're looking for him?

You know if he's got a job?

I think he does.

A, uh... he has a good job

with a drafting firm
or something.

He does nice work.

He do his own printing, too?

Yes.

It always was a hobby of his.

You know what pictures like this

would cost done professionally?

Now, when everything was seeming
to work out for him...

He even has a girl.

They like each other a lot.

I even bought a present
for her for Howard.

A dress.

Yes.

That's a very good guess.

A black dress.

How did you know that?

Thank you very much for
talking to me, Ms. Lee.

But, Mr. Jones, do you
want me to tell him

that you're looking
for him or...?

I think he knows.

TAYLOR: Don't come in
sh**ting, Barnaby.

Just me.

Just looking after the store.

How are we doing?

Lot of people around here.

MacManus called in
about 9:30.

He did three of the addresses.

Nothing.

Going out to Hollenbeck now.

How am I going to square
with you guys?

On your own time, your experts.

I get paid for working.

[chuckles]

Shut up and eat your pie.

Did you have anything
to eat at all?

Yeah, a sandwich somewhere
in the car.

Blanks, huh?

Me, I don't expect him
to make a move until Sunday.

These psychos get hooked
on a battle plan,

they follow it.

Did his ex-wife open up?

But Howard is in town?

It's Howard Lee, Joe.

He's a draftsman.

Camera is his hobby.

He asked his wife to buy

a black dress for a present.

[sighs]

Pass inspection?

You both pass inspection.

I hope we can say the same thing
Monday morning.

Why don't you get some sleep?

Are you kicking me out?

With thanks.

Okay.

Okay, I'll lock up.

You take care.

♪ ♪

[clock ticking]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

BETTY:
Barnaby?

Betty?

You all right?

No, I'm not.

Barnaby...

Hello?

Hello. Betty?

[laughs]

[dog barking in distance]

Well, don't worry.

He'll call back.

He'll dial frantically.

I bet he wishes now the foreman
would stay on Sundays.

[cradle switch clicking]

[phone ringing]

[laughs]

[clears throat]

Barnaby, he wants
you to come alone.

Do what Howard says, Barnaby.

Lee...

if you harm her
in any way, I'll...

She's just leverage.

It's you I want.

Like I said, you and I,
face-to-face.

I'll be out.

I'll be there in 40 minutes.

Don't you hurt her.

No mistakes, Barnaby, no tricks.

Just remember, I can see
in all directions out here.

No innocent pickup trucks
cruising by, or...

or horse vans.

And if a helicopter
just happens to fly over,

well, I'm not sure
what I might do.

It might make me think

you were going back
on your word.

How can I help it if a car...?

You just better.

Hang up now, dear.

Barnaby, don't worry
about me. I...

[mock sympathy]:
Oh...

Do you usually have
a big breakfast,

or is it just toast and coffee,
or something like that?

What?

Well, I don't want
to cause any trouble,

but, um, I thought
you might be hungry, too.

You want me
to fix you breakfast?

I would appreciate it, Betty.

Though I don't want you
to put yourself out.

[laughs]

What do you want?

Well, uh,

scrambled eggs or an omelet.

Either one would be fine.

Whatever you want, Betty,
would be fine

with me.

[eggs sizzling]

Would you like
some orange juice?

Great.

Frozen?

We have six trees.

Must be nice to have
fresh orange juice

any time you want.

You know, I've learned a lot
about you two lately.

I've learned a lot.

What gets me is
how you can stand it.

I know the hours you put in,
alone in the same room with him,

all the time, every day.

Barnaby?

Yeah.

He likes
to boss you around a lot.

I know him; I know
what he can be like.

My father was exactly
the same way.

They even sound the same.

I know that kind.

Love to give orders.

Yes, sir! No, sir!

[laughs]

Have to run the world
just the way they see fit.

Rules and laws.

And if you step
out of line, whap!

Barnaby isn't like that.

You know...

everybody practically
forgot about it.

Jones didn't have
to keep after me.

It was all over.
A lousy fraud.

Everybody forgot about him.

Nobody was even paying him
by then.

He just didn't want

to have a case like that
still on his books.

What the hell difference
did it make?

[sighs]

I'll tell you.

A gold star for him,

and six years
out of my life for me.

[sighs]

She'd just been born, too.

I knew my daughter
six lousy months

before Jones butt in.

Once a week... that's how many
times they let me see her.

A couple of lousy hours a week.

But Barnaby Jones.

Barnaby Jones, boy.

He thinks he's God Almighty.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

LEE [shouting]:
Hey, Barnaby!

You finally made it!

Where is she?

Where's Betty?

What have you done to her?

Nothing.

She's just fine.

She's in the ring.

Why don't you see for yourself?

Hey, Barnaby, are you
just gonna stand there?

I'm coming up!

Barnaby!

Hold it, Barnaby!

Betty, are you all right?

LEE:
Hey, Betty, he wants to know

if you're all right.

[crying]:
He k*lled Shane.

I know.

LEE:
Hey, Barnaby.

Why don't you come
a little closer?

Hey, Barnaby,

what's the best thing
in your life?

She is.

Good.

Whatever you want, Howard.

Just say it.

I've got it, friend.

Dead... Dead...

You'll be my friend.

Listen, Howard...

Just keep coming, baby.

Come on.

BARNABY:
You said this was
between you and me.

Let me get her out of here.

[whistles, neighing]

[panting]

BETTY:
Barnaby.

[crying]

You all right?

I will be.

You?

Soon.

[crying]

[bell tolling in distance]

[sobbing]:
Sunday.

Yeah.

Sunday.

Barnaby.

[crying]

[bell continues tolling]

[theme music playing]