03x09 - All Out of Idea Bricks/A Fool Schooled

[bunniefuu]

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my mom.
[laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

This is my show!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[groans] Ooh!

And what a show it is!

Oh.

We got bits on bits.

We got more jokes than

your eye sockets can handle.

your eye sockets can handle.

[horn honking]

[bell dings]
And we've got...

terror!

[giggles]
Just kidding.

[giggles]
Just kidding.

[all cheer]

For our first bit,
we just need an idea.

For our first bit,
we just need an idea.

And where do ideas come from?

Well, idea bricks, of course.

Well, idea bricks, of course.

[accordion rasping]

[groaning]

An idea.

Unicycle juggling!

Unicycle juggling!

[carnival music]

all: Ooh.

- [muttering happily]

- [muttering happily]

Time for another idea.

[buzzer blares]

[groans]

[cuckoo clock chiming]

[cuckoo clock chiming]

Ice sculpting!

[wind whistles]

Ooh.

[buzzer blares]

Cow milking!

Cow milking!

[bagpipes bleating]

[cow moos angrily]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

- Wow! Six lawnies?

We're doing numbers.

Keep those ideas
coming, Patrick.

Keep those ideas
coming, Patrick.

[bell dinging weakly]

[bell dinging weakly]

- Huh?

[machine coughs]

[grunting]

[grunting]

How about a disappearing trick?

How about a disappearing trick?

[muttering nervously]

- What gives, Patrick?

Where's the next segment?

Where's the next segment?

- We're all out of idea bricks!

- We're what?

We need that brain of yours
to get an idea, pronto.

- Maybe we got brick-shaped
props that can help.

- Maybe we got brick-shaped
props that can help.

[grunts]
No.

[grunts]
Still nothing.

[grunts]
Still nothing.

[grunts]
- Sorry about that.

- [groans nervously]

- We'll just have to make
our own idea brick.

- We'll just have to make
our own idea brick.

But first...

Patrick will be right back.
[chuckles nervously]

Patrick will be right back.
[chuckles nervously]

I-in the meantime,
please welcome, uh...

Mr. Cymbals!

Mr. Cymbals!

[chuckles nervously]

[cymbals clanking]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

According to this recipe book,

the main ingredient
in bricks is sand.

the main ingredient
in bricks is sand.

- Oh, oh, oh!

I think have
at least a foot of sand

in my ear.

in my ear.

[playful music]

- Now for the ideas part.

- Now for the ideas part.

♪ ♪

- Hey, I was reading that
to Tinkle.

- Hey, I was reading that
to Tinkle.

[book roars]

[book whimpers]

[mixer whirrs]

[timer dings]

[timer dings]

- The brick is ready.

I think we cooked it too long.

I think we cooked it too long.

It looks bad.

[malevolent laughter]

[ominous music]

[ominous music]

We should probably
throw this one--

- At my head.

- At my head.

[triumphant music]

- Eh.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Uh!

[crashing and shattering]

[playful music]

- [groaning]

- [groaning]

- Any ideas?

- I've got an idea, all right.

A bad idea.

A bad idea.

[cymbal clanging,
lawnies cheering]

- Wait.
What's your bad...

[grunts]
Idea?

[grunts]
Idea?

- Just watch.

[giggling sinisterly]

Hey, Tiny, I thought
you had to have muscles

Hey, Tiny, I thought
you had to have muscles

to wear a muscle shirt.

- [growling]

- [growling]

Gammy, he hurt my feelings.

[bawling]
- Aw, Gammy will fix it, hon.

[bawling]
- Aw, Gammy will fix it, hon.

- [chuckles maliciously]

And as for you--

And as for you--

oh!

[groans]

That was a bad idea.

- Ah, let's go see if we can
fix that idea brick machine.

- Ah, let's go see if we can
fix that idea brick machine.

[cymbals crashing,
lawnies cheering]

[cymbals crashing,
lawnies cheering]

- We just need
one more idea brick!

[gasps]
Like that one!

[brick gibbering]

both: Get it!

both: Get it!

[grunting]

[bouncy music]

[bouncy music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[bell dinging]

[horn bellows]

Whoa!

Whoa!

[groaning]

Hm?

Wow.

[chittering and warbling]

- [as Squidina]
"Welcome to Randomland"?

Ugh, this place is weird.

- [as Patrick]
How do you figure?

both: Huh?

both: Huh?

[yelping]

- Now let's go find that brick.

- Now let's go find that brick.

- Patrick, you can't just
run around randomly

in Randomland.

What does this sign say?

What does this sign say?

Of course.

[brick gibbering]

[brick gibbering]

Look, Patrick, it's the brick.

After him!

[both panting]

[both yelling]

[both yelling]

[brick panting]

- Hey! Anyone here see a brick?

- Hey! Anyone here see a brick?

- No, but maybe
my roommate has.

- Are you looking for a brick?

- Ah, yeah.

- Ah, yeah.

I heard about bricks once.

- Uh, are you guys talking
about bricks in here?

- Uh, are you guys talking
about bricks in here?

all: Brick, brick, brick...
- There's something weird

going on here.

all: Brick, brick, brick...
- But I can't figure out what.

all: Brick, brick, brick...
- But I can't figure out what.

- [panting]

[doorbell rings]
Hello?

Have you seen a walking brick
around here?

Have you seen a walking brick
around here?

- Ooh! Is it rectangular?

- Yes.

- Red?

- Red?

- Yes.

- And full of ideas?

- Yes! Have you seen it?

- Yes! Have you seen it?

- No.

[laughs]

- Whoa!
[screams]

- [chuckling]

This place is so much fun.

- Yeah, but we still haven't
found that idea brick.

- Yeah, but we still haven't
found that idea brick.

We need some new ideas, like--

[loud clank]
- Edible shoes!

[loud clank]
- Edible shoes!

- [grunts]
With a side of inedible socks!

- [grunts]
Musical paint!

- [grunts]
Musical paint!

[brick gibbering]

- Found you!
- [grunts]

- Found you!
- [grunts]

- Nothing but net.

[laughs]

[brick gibbering]

[brick gibbering]

The "li-bary"!
- Shh!

- Oh, sorry.

- Oh, sorry.

[quietly] The "li-bary."

[muttering nervously]

[birds chirping]

Here, bricky, bricky, brick.

Here, bricky, bricky, brick.

[both gasp]

[bird squawking]

[bricks gibbering]

both: Idea bricks have mothers?

both: Idea bricks have mothers?

[birds chirping]

- What's she doing?

- Whoa!

[whimpering]

- She's consuming knowledge.

- She's consuming knowledge.

[whistle blows]

- And laying idea bricks!

- And laying idea bricks!

So that's where
idea bricks come from.

So that's where
idea bricks come from.

- If we nab that bird,

we'll never run out
of idea bricks again.

Come on!

Come on!

[both mutter excitedly]

- [yelping]

[bird squawking]

[bird squawking]

- Okay, we got to get
this bird home.

Luckily, I came up
with a great idea.

Luckily, I came up
with a great idea.

We glue a bunch of books
together as bait for the bird,

and then we--
- [gulps]

and then we--
- [gulps]

- That's okay,
'cause I got a real sneaky plan

where we can--

[screams]

[screams]

She can eat
through thoughts too?

How do you kidnap a giant bird
if you can't even think about?

How do you kidnap a giant bird
if you can't even think about?

- Don't worry, Squidina,
I've got an idea!

- Don't worry, Squidina,
I've got an idea!

- Uh, I don't know, Pat--

- Okay, here it goes.

Uh...

[dial-up modem
whirs and cranks]

[dial-up modem
whirs and cranks]

- [coughs]
- Uh...

[static hisses]

[groaning]
- [retching]

[groaning]
- [retching]

- Almost there.

[groaning]

Huh?
- Your lack of coherent ideas

starved the bird of nutrients.

starved the bird of nutrients.

Good job, Patrick.

- Ha, thanks.

I couldn't have done it
without me.

Now let's fly home.

[engine puttering]

[engine puttering]

- [sighing]

- Alas, poor Yorick.

- Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him, Horatio.

[engine puttering]

[loud crash]

[loud crash]

- Now back to the show!

- [grunts] Aah!

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

- And we're back!

[all groan]

We got new and improved ideas.

We got new and improved ideas.

Ready?

Three, two...

Three, two...

[bird squawking]

[bird squawking]

[all exclaim]

- Friends...

- Romans...

- Countrymen...

- Countrymen...

- Lend me your ears.

- Hey, Idea Bird,
those are my ideas!

- Hey, Idea Bird,
those are my ideas!

[grunting]

[bird squawking]

[bird squawking]

- Mobile toilets.

- Quantum clowning.

- Come back with my ideas!

- Come back with my ideas!

- I got an idea.

The end.

The end.

[bright music]

- Ah!
[grunts]

Welcome back
to "The Patrick Show."

Welcome back
to "The Patrick Show."

Next up,
we have a little segment

called You Can't Do That.

called You Can't Do That.

[straining]

[loud crash]
[all scream]

Today, I'll be jumping
from this diving board

Today, I'll be jumping
from this diving board

into that pitcher of water
below.

[all gasp]

[all gasp]

all: You can't do that!

- I'm gonna do it.

- Patrick, stop.
We never rehearsed this.

There are protocols.

You can't do that!

You can't do that!

all: You can't do that!

- We don't have
the right insurance.

The pitcher is too small!

The pitcher is too small!

- Everything looks smaller
from up here.

It's fine.

- I'm gonna cancel
this segment!

- I'm gonna cancel
this segment!

all: You can't do that!

- Oh, yes, I can.

- [grunts]

- [grunts]

Yah!
[laughing]

- [screams]

- Whee!

[all gasp]

[all gasp]

- [whimpers]

Huh?

- I guess he can do that.

- I guess he can do that.

[all cheer]

- Please don't encourage this.

- [groaning]

- [groaning]

- All right.
Our next segment is safer.

Viewer Mail!

[all cheering]
- Viewer Mail!

- And we only got one letter.
[chuckles nervously]

- [muffled straining]
- So let's hope it's good.

- [muffled straining]
- So let's hope it's good.

It's from the Bikini Bottom
Bureau of Education.

all: Ooh.

all: Ooh.

- "Dear Patrick Star,
this is to inform you

"that you never passed
behavioral skills

"that you never passed
behavioral skills

"in kindergarten.

"We suggest you complete
your education right away

"We suggest you complete
your education right away

"and desist from any current
professional activity

"such as surgery,
emergency rescue,

and TV hosting."

and TV hosting."

TV hosting?

all: They can't do that!

- It says here they can.

- It says here they can.

"Since you're older than
the average kindergartener,

we recommend that
you be homeschooled."

we recommend that
you be homeschooled."

lawnies: Ooh.

- [straining] Doo!

What's homeschooled?

- Folks, don't touch that dial.

We'll be right back
after Patrick passes

We'll be right back
after Patrick passes

behavioral skills classes.

Please stand by.
[tone blares]

Please stand by.
[tone blares]

[bell ringing]

- Wha?

- Good morning, young student.

Class is now in session.

Have a seat.

Wait!

We almost forgot
to say the pledge!

[stately music]

[stately music]

♪ ♪

Please join me
in the Pledge of Aggrievance.

Please join me
in the Pledge of Aggrievance.

I pledge aggrievance
to the gag,

and to the lopsided plate
of "hysterica,"

and to the lopsided plate
of "hysterica,"

and to the cowlick,
which I can't stand,

and to the cowlick,
which I can't stand,

once shaven...
- Shave!

- Extra odd...
- Log!

- With publicity
and injustice for all.

- With publicity
and injustice for all.

♪ ♪

Please be seated.

Please be seated.

Eh, no, in your chair.

[buzzer blares]
Not like that.

[buzzer blares]
Not like that.

[buzzer blares]
Nope.

[buzzer blares]
Nuh-uh.

[buzzer blares]
Try again.

[bell dinging]
There we go.

So we're here to learn
good behavior skills.

So we're here to learn
good behavior skills.

Let's see what
you already know.

What do we do
when we have to sneeze?

What do we do
when we have to sneeze?

- We take a tissue,

we sneeze...
[sneezes]

we sneeze...
[sneezes]

And then we wipe.

- Uh, okay,
we'll circle back to that one.

- Uh, okay,
we'll circle back to that one.

How do you use one of these?

How do you use one of these?

- Oh, I know this one!

[gulping]

[gulping]

[stomach rumbles]

- [groans]

- I don't get it.

It works
when SpongeBob does it.

[flute ditty]

[flute ditty]

- All right, then.

Next, show me how
you brush your teeth.

- You got it!

- You got it!

Brush-a, brush-a, brush-a.

I brush my teeth every night.

I brush my teeth every night.

[gulps, snickers]

[dramatic musical sting]

- Oh, boy.

[bell ringing]

- Huh?

- Our next lesson is
lunchroom etiquette.

- Lunch?

- Granny Tentacles was
nice enough to volunteer.

- Granny Tentacles was
nice enough to volunteer.

- For 20 bucks!

Hmm.

[sniffs]

All right, big boy,
what'll it be?

- I'll take everything!

- I'll take everything!

- Uh, uh, uh.
You forgot the magic words.

- [gasps] Oh, yeah.

With cheese.

With cheese.

- Ah, close enough.

[grunts]

- [muttering excitedly]

[munching noisily]

- Ahem.

Don't forget your utensils.

Don't forget your utensils.

- Yes, Ma.

[munching noisily]

[munching noisily]

[vacuum whirring]

[gagging]

- Eat with your mouth
closed, dear.

- Um, okay.

Hm.

- And what do we do
with the tray and silverware

when we're done?

- [munches]

- Oh, dear.

[bell ringing]

[martial music]

[martial music]

- On your feet, worm!

This is
social etiquette training!

This is
social etiquette training!

I will teach you
how to speak to adults!

And you will address me
as "Sir," got it?

And you will address me
as "Sir," got it?

- Aye, aye, Sir Got It.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Now enter the room again,

but this time, knock!

- Wait, Sir Got It!

- Wait, Sir Got It!

How many times do I knock?

- [weakly] Twice.

- Okay.

One, two.

One, two.

- [grunts]

Now, what is the appropriate
way to greet an elder?

Now, what is the appropriate
way to greet an elder?

- Um...

what's shaking, old timer?

what's shaking, old timer?

- [chomps]
Wrong!

Now show me how you give
someone a compliment.

Now show me how you give
someone a compliment.

- I can't believe
you're not dead.

- Final lesson!

- Final lesson!

What do you say before
I slam the door in your face

so I can get me some shut-eye?

- Uh...

- [grunts]

- Oh, I got it!

Rest in peace.

[indistinct chatter
and laughter]

- Okay, Patrick,
the lawnies have agreed

- Okay, Patrick,
the lawnies have agreed

to join you
in your final class,

recess skills.

Remember, it's important
to play nice with others.

Remember, it's important
to play nice with others.

Okay. Ready?

Go!
- [laughing excitedly]

- One, two--

- One, two--

aah!
- [laughing]

I win!

[laughing]

both: Ah!
- I win.

- Oh, hey, Patrick.

A little help?

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Over here.
Kick it back.

- [laughs]

[expl*si*n reverberates]

- [grunts]

- Anyone else want to play?

- Anyone else want to play?

[all whimpering]

[all screaming]

You're it!

- Ow!

- Ow!

- You're it!

- [grunts]

- Huh?

- [laughs]

- [laughs]

[bowling pins crash]

You're it!

[laughing]

- Okay, let's see here.

- Okay, let's see here.

[all groaning]

- It is I, Patrick,

ravager of playtime,

conqueror of recess!

conqueror of recess!

- Meep.

- Patrick, how can anyone
fail recess?

- Patrick, how can anyone
fail recess?

- Ugh. So I got one F.

What about the rest
of my grades?

What about the rest
of my grades?

- Well, the F was actually
your highest grade.

The rest were Z's.

You're basically a wild animal.

You're basically a wild animal.

- [gnawing]

- [sighs]

[despondent music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey, where are we going?

- D-d-don't worry, son.
We're almost there.

- D-d-don't worry, son.
We're almost there.

- I'm sorry, Patrick.

We just can't keep you.

You're not domesticated.

You're not domesticated.

- This is your natural habitat.

- This is your natural habitat.

You'll be free here.

You'll love it.

[all choking up]
- I'm sorry, son.

Y-you're just not fit to live
amongst us civilized folk.

Y-you're just not fit to live
amongst us civilized folk.

- [whimpers]

- Just go!

- Okay!
[laughing wildly]

[car engine starts]

[car engine starts]

- [whimpers]

- [chuckles]

[creatures snarling]
Hm?

[creatures snarling]
Hm?

[whimpering]

- Huh? What the--

Patrick?

But how did you--

But how did you--

when did you--

[stately music]

[gibbering]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Wow. Thank you.

- Wow. Thank you.

What a gentleman.

And handsome too.

[all exclaim]

[all exclaim]

[gasps]
You cleaned the whole house!

[gasps]
You cleaned the whole house!

- Well, in light
of these recent developments,

a new grade is in order--

a new grade is in order--

if you can pass the final test.

He's housebroken!

He's housebroken!

A-plus.

[toilet flushes]

- Oh, congratulations,
big brother.

- Oh, congratulations,
big brother.

Now we can do your show again!

- But how did you learn
to behave so quickly?

- But how did you learn
to behave so quickly?

[somber music]

- Oh, do you think
he'll be all right?

- Oh, do you think
he'll be all right?

He was pretty wild
when we got him.

- We taught him well.

He needs to be
with his own kind now.

He needs to be
with his own kind now.

♪ ♪

- Time for bed.
Good night, everyone.

all: Good night.

all: Good night.

- [howls]

- [howls]

- Ah, shut up!
- [yelps]