Texan Meets Calamity Jane, The (1950)

[bunniefuu]

Yeehaw!

Yeehaw!

Drive 'em up ahead,

Sam.

Land's sakes, must he

drive so fast?

We'll all be k*lled.

We've got to get to Deadwood

Crossing in time for the big

anniversary celebration,

ma'am.

You'll be a nice little

grown up once you sit still.

Hey Sam, grab them ribbons and

let'em take us into Deadwood

the best way they knows how.

-Yahoo, yeah!

-Yeah, Sam!

Yee-hoo!

I don't believe I ever saw you

'round the Gulch before,

ma'am.

This is my first trip there.

I'm going to open an

emporium for ladies.

-(LAUGHS).

-What's so funny?

Well, there ain't 50 ladies in

the whole town, ma'am.

Even the ones that are there

ain't exactly, uh, ladies.

Hey uh, what's your name,

anyhow?

Emma Stokes. Miss Emma

Stokes.

I'm glad to meet up with

ya, Miss.

My friends call me

Colorado Charlie.

You know,

you'd do better if you

was opening up a store to sell

vittles.

Hundred pounds of flour bring

60 bucks.

Eggs are four dollars

a dozen.

Don't exactly have to be

exactly too fresh, either.

(LAUGHS)

Hmm, women would rather have

calico. Food?

Hmm, be a nice girl now,

Patsy.

I reckon you're about

right, Miss.

Females do most anything to

look pretty.

That's why I went all the way

to Fort Laramie to get

-this anniversary present for

Calam.

-Calam?

-You mean Calamity Jane?

-Who else could I mean?

-Do you know her?

-Know her?

Work for her, help her run the

Prairie Queen dance hall...

I've heard so much about

Calamity Jane. They say no man

in the west can stand up to

-her in a g*n fight.

-Correct, Miss.

You arriving at a good time,

too.

Big celebration going on.

But... I forgot.

You a stranger in these parts.

-Today is August the 2nd.

-So it is.

-You don't know what happened

in the Gulch one year ago.

-No.

Well, you'll find out.

First anniversary?

-No.

-Is it a wedding celebration?

No. A k*lling celebration.

How's that, Colorado?

-40 minutes ahead of

schedule.

-You could have made it 41.

Come on out, Emma. This is as

far as we go.

I'm lucky to be alive.

I never had such a ride.

Sorry, Ma'am. But we had to

be back in time for

the celebrations.

Celebration?

I don't see anything

happening.

Everybody's over at Calam's

place. She's throwing the

party.

Free drinks all in his memory.

Well, I never.

Hmm!

(LAUGHS)

-When you get unhitched, boys,

come on over.

-Sure thing, Colorado.

You're welcome to the free

drinks, mister.

But we don't allow no cheating

in the Prairie Queen.

Colorado, you old side-winder!

Welcome home!

Dadgum it,

don't be so glad to see me,

you'll get Calam's

anniversary gift all crushed

up. Don't do it.

-Present for Calam? Whatcha

get her?

-None of your business.

How's the celebration coming

along?

Pretty good. I broke four of

these so far.

He's always butting in on my

work.

Uh, I gotta find Calam and

give her this package.

She ain't inside.

-I got an idea of where she

at.

-You have, huh?

Yeah, you folks get on inside

and keep the celebration

going.

-I'll bring her back.

-You will, huh?

Well, I see you're back,

Colorado.

No, I'm still in Fort Laramie.

I got some important business

I'd like to talk over with

your boss.

-Yeah?

-Where is she?

That comes under the head of

her business.

But if it's anything

concerning Calam, you can talk

it over with me.

I want her to get it first

hand. Go get her.

That's what I was aiming to

do.

But not because you told me

to.

Howdy, Calam.

Hello Colorado.

I bring you a present from

Fort Laramie.

He's been dead a year today.

Such a fine gentleman he was,

Colorado.

I never loved another man.

Look at the present I brung

ya.

Here it is, Calam.

The finest that could be

bought in Fort Laramie.

Colorado...

You didn't have to go through

all that trouble.

Won't find nothing like

'em in Deadwood.

Copper riveted and

everything.

(SOBBING)

There now, little

partner.

Don't take on like that.

I know just how you

feel.

Wild Bill was one of my

closest friends, too.

But we oughta be back

downtown.

Everybody's asking

about ya.

You know, you threw this

celebration just so folks

wouldn't be forgetting him.

I don't wanna go to any

celebration.

Well, I hate to tell you this,

Calam,

but Matt Baker and his K*llers

wanna have a talk with ya.

-Matt Baker?

-Yeah.

-I told him he could talk to

me but he said...

-Let's go.

I don't wanna keep Mr. Baker

waiting.

Tell Matt I'll see him in my

office.

And I can't hardly wait.

Take it easy, boys.

Mr. Baker's just here on

business.

Howdy Calam.

Your celebration is a big

success.

You didn't come here to

compliment me.

-What's on your mind?

-I heard you were serving

free drinks.

I hate to ask you to talk

business on a day like this.

-I know how you felt about

Wild Bill, but I...

-You didn't come here to talk

about that either.

I'll make you one last offer

to sell out.

We told you once before

we wasn't interested.

I made a trip to San Antone

last month.

Ran into someone there that

you oughta know.

I don't know a lot of people

in Texas.

You ever hear of Cecelia

Mullen?

-What about her?

-Had a talk with her after she

found out I knew uncle Frank.

She's on her way to Deadwood.

Glad to see her, won't we be?

Yeah, sure will.

Miss Mullen is the niece of

Frank Mullen.

His only living blood

relation.

She will claim this property.

No gunplay, Calam. I'm not

armed.

Besides you got me all wrong.

I came here to help.

You're a liar. You went to

Texas to find that gal.

And fixed it all up with her

to come here and claim this

property, didn't you?

My straight games downstairs

are knocking your crooked ones

out of business.

And you can't stand that, Matt

Baker.

So you cooked up this little

deal

to come back here and take the

Prairie Queen away from me.

Well, it won't work.

I'll stand behind Calam

and everything.

Frank Mullen told Calam she

could have this clean when he

passed on.

She saved his life when a band

of Sioux ambushed him.

You ain't got the nerve

enough to sh**t it up

with me.

-You gotta cook up a scheme

like this.

-I accidentally ran into Miss

Mullen and she told me what

she intended to do.

I bet.

It's not my fault,

Calam.

-The law's the law.

-What's the law got to do

with it?

Miss Mullen hired a lawyer.

-A lawyer?

-Yes and he's on his way to

Deadwood.

I'll sh**t it out with him,

too.

You can't do that, Calam.

Law and order is coming

to the Gulch.

In a week or so we'll have a

real United States judge here.

Ask Sheriff Atwood if you

don't believe me.

Great jumpin' horny

toads, what's this town coming

to, anyway?

Soon be where a man can't

settle an argument in his

own way.

Deadwood's growing up, the

town's getting prosperous.

We haven't had any trouble

with the Indians in almost a

year.

Gold is drawing in new

citizens every day.

Yeah, I can just see the

buttons on your vest

busting off with civic pride.

Now if you had some papers

to prove what you say, Calam,

you'd stand a better chance.

This lawyer I talked to is

a smart one.

Told me his client had a just

claim on the property of

her deceased uncle.

So you know the lawyer, too.

-Yes, his name is Hastings.

-Hastings?

Yes, Gordon Hastings.

How long do I have to

think this over?

-Oh, about...

-I mean, before the lawyer

gets here.

Oh, couple of days.

-You made me the last offer to

sell out, didn't you?

-Well, yes, that's right.

Suppose you own the

Prairie Queen.

Won't the niece and the lawyer

try and take it away from

you?

No they wouldn't. I'd give

them a good price for it.

So will I.

If I have to.

You couldn't buy it from her,

Calam, because she doesn't

like you and your kind.

Get out.

Alright, if that's the way

you want it.

Oh, I'm sorry Calam, but I

forgot to wish you a happy

anniversary.

(GLASS BREAKING)

They can't do this to you,

Calam.

We'll sh**t it out with them.

We can't fight the whole

United States government.

If we only had some written

proof of what old Frank said.

That's simple enough.

We'll write some proof.

-You can't do that.

-Then what in tarnation are

you going to do?

Just walk out and hand the

place over to some strange

female?

We ain't licked yet.

-I knew you'd see it my way,

Calam.

-Put your g*n away.

I got a better idea.

-You have?

-Meantime...

We ain't finished celebrating

Wild Bill's anniversary.

Why, no!

-We're celebration bound!

Yeehoo!

-Yippee!

Yippee!

Woohoo!

-Everybody having a good time?

-What a grand way for you to

show your undying

love for Wild Bill Hickock,

Calam.

I'm so happy for ya.

He was a fine gentleman.

Thanks Mabel, he sure was.

I wish I'd known a man

like him.

Get along with ya, Mabel.

We've all got to help Calam to

celebrate.

Oh, Miss Calam. I've arranged

a little music to help you

celebrate.

-You mean Marble Halls?

-You just wait.

Henry!

(PIANO AND WHISTLE)

(APPLAUSE)

(g*nshots)

Reach for the sky!

Nevermind the strong box.

I want to take a look at your

passengers.

You passengers in there.

Come on. Get out.

Which one of you is a lawyer?

I'm a lawyer, what do you

want?

What's your name, mister?

Hastings. Gordon Hastings.

Ok, mister lawyer. I reckon

you're the one we're looking

for, all right.

-Throw down that gent's bag.

-Yes sir.

The rest of you get back in

that coach and high ball it on

out of here.

(g*nsh*t)

(SCREAMING)

Pick up your bag, mister.

Now get on that horse.

Hey, you'll get hurt.

Get on this side, you dang

city dude.

Maybe we oughta make him

walk.

Alright, mister lawyer.

Head for that high peak over

yonder and just walk

that critter.

Don't be in too big a hurry.

Don't move.

-A woman?

-That don't mean I can't

sh**t this, direct kinda.

You must be Calamity Jane.

We got business to talk over.

You're scheming with

that crook Baker

and Old Frank's niece to take

the Prairie Queen away from

me.

I was engaged by Miss Mullen

to represent her in this legal

matter.

As for Mr. Baker, I know

nothing of his character.

Oh, you admit that you know

him.

Why yes, he was in

San Antonio.

And you're going right back

there.

That's ridiculous.

If you keep me from

reaching Deadwood, Miss Mullen

will hire another lawyer.

-And maybe I might cause

you...

-Shut up.

Get on your horse.

Reach, mister.

I'm sorry, Colorado. He

tricked me.

Get over there by your

partner.

Now I know you're in with Matt

Baker, you city crook.

We'll see about that.

Lead the way to Deadwood.

Don't turn Colorado over

to the law.

-This is my fight.

-No it ain't. I'm seeing this

through with you.

-Let's get started.

-Hold on.

I want a little more

information about this case.

Quiet Colorado. He's looking

for something to use against

us.

We're not as loco as you think

we are, Mr. Hastings.

I heard tell that lawyers

get a lot of education,

but folks around here have a

lot of horse sense, too.

In Texas we believe in fair

play.

You and your partner must be

pretty sure of your case or

you wouldn't have tried

this kidnap game.

What are you driving at?

It's all right.

Take your sh**ting iron.

Well, what do you know?

I don't understand, what are

you going to do?

I'm going into Deadwood to do

a little investigating.

First I want to talk to Mr.

Baker and then to Miss Mullen

when she arrives.

If there's any truth to your

story, I'll see that a fair

compromise is made.

Say uh...

How much you getting to handle

this case?

Five hundred dollars.

I'll make it a thousand.

From here on out you're

my lawyer.

Oh, I couldn't do that.

(LAUGHS)

I'll have to handle this my

own way.

Well, I'll be a bow-legged

coyote.

Ain't this something?

From now on Mr. Lawyerman, you

do the legal thinkin' and

we'll do the legal shootin'.

Let's get going.

Better walk the rest of the

way, Hastings.

Looks like there's gonna

be trouble.

-I'm staying with you.

-Now you're talking.

-Howdy Hastings.

-Hello Baker.

Is this the gent the road

agents took off the stage?

-Yep, that's him.

-It is, huh?

What do you have to say about

this, young fella?

He doesn't have anything to

say, Sheriff. Arrest Calam and

Colorado.

It's plain as day they held up

the stage.

Do you think so, huh?

This ain't your play anymore.

-He's working for me now.

-Strikes me that you're taking

a lot of interest in affairs

-of the law.

-This matter is none of

your business.

It's my business when a lawyer

I hire sells out on me.

The gent ain't armed,

Baker.

-Besides, he ain't a

gunslinger.

-Now look here, Baker...

Oh, let 'em fight it out,

Sheriff.

-Duke it out, huh?

-Sure. Tell ya what to do,

Sheriff,

go on over to the office

and rest.

I'll call ya if things get

rough.

-You will, huh?

-Oh yeah.

(CHEERING)

Atta boy, go!

(g*nsh*t)

Reckon he's had enough,

Gordon.

-Come to my place.

-You can't get away with this,

Calam.

You better drop that g*n while

you got a chance.

Come inside and get it.

Hold it Baker.

Get back to your own place.

Fun's about over.

I'll settle this with

Calam later.

-You will, huh?

-All right boys, pick him up.

Have Dr. Keeper

look at that arm.

Don't you think one of

us should go with him?

Nah.

Anybody that's stupid enough

to get on a porch to ambush a

man

oughta die of

lead poisoning.

Shut up, Dave. Go on and

beat it.

Well, what are we gonna do?

Your smart lawyer from

Texas walked out on you.

Get inside.

And don't act like a school

boy, Dave. You'll get your

chance to even up with that

Texan but not until I

tell ya. Go on now and

beat it.

In a fight like this you

either need good gunmen or

good legal representation.

Are you doing

the thinking now?

I was just trying to help.

You forgot there's one other

person interested in this

case and she'll do exactly

-as I say.

-Mmmhmm.

-Welcome to Deadwood Gulch,

Miss Mullen.

-Nice to see you again,

-Mr. Baker.

-Boys, this is Cecelia.

Frank Mullen's niece.

Mr. Carter, Mr. Dade, and

Carlos.

Did you have a nice trip from

San Antone?

Quite comfortable. And fast.

Only took 28 days.

Where's Gordon?

-Why, there's been a slight

change in our plans.

-What is it?

Surely you want to freshen

up after your long trip?

We'll talk about him later.

-Has anything happened to

Gordon?

-We better not discuss that

here. Come on, I'll take you

over to your hotel.

Oh, let me take that Miss

Mullen.

-Stage just came in.

-It did, huh?

Yes and I bet that pretty

young lady who got off is Miss

Mullen.

It was, huh?

Yes, and she's gonna try to

take the Prairie Queen

from Calamity Jane.

-She is, huh?

-Yes, if you ask me...

I don't know which one of them

is right.

Land's sakes, seems a body

could keep something that was

given to her.

And on the other hand,

I suppose a blood relation has

a right to take

what's rightfully hers.

-I would if it was me!

-You would, huh?

(g*nsh*t)

(g*nsh*t)

(g*nsh*t)

(g*nsh*t)

Howdy Sheriff.

-Nice morning.

-It is, huh?

What don't you stop

bothering with that cap and

ball g*n?

Get you one of them new

Colts.

It was good enough for Wild

Bill, it's good enough for me.

Somehow when I hold

this g*n I can

still feel the warmth of

his fingers on the grip.

You can, huh?

I reckon had Bill had a chance

to use it in that last poker

game he'd uh...

Hey Sheriff, why'd you

come out here anyhow?

Uh?

Oh, I wanna talk with Mr.

Hastings.

Why don't you try to settle

your differences with Matt

Baker before that new United

States judge gets in town.

I don't think we can decide

anything until Miss

Cecelia arrives.

You mean the niece.

She's here.

Just seen her get off the

stage.

Well, that's fine. We'll have

a meeting today after I talk

to her.

You will, huh?

See you in about an hour.

Why do you wanna talk

to her for?

You're my lawyer, ain't ya?

Of course I am, but

I must talk to Cecelia.

Can't you wait 'til you see

her at the meeting?

-Why not now?

-When you

see her you'll have to talk to

Matt Baker, too.

Better have some more

sh**ting lessons.

(g*nshots)

Nice shootin', Gordon.

Couldn't have done better

myself.

Do you think I'll be safe

talking to Mr. Baker?

I reckon.

You won't have to be worrying

none about him, Calam.

He can take care of himself

with all of Matt Baker's

gunslingers.

I wasn't worrying about the

gunslingers getting him.

Well then what in tarnation

are you worried about?

Women are sure funny.

Hello Cecelia.

-How do you do, Mr. Hastings?

-I must talk to you.

Really? There's nothing to

discuss.

I know how you feel.

Mr. Baker must have told you.

But you've got to here

Calam's side of the story.

-Oh, so it's Calam, is it?

-Oh please, can't we talk

sensibly?

I'm afraid we were misinformed

when Mr. Baker was

in San Antonio.

-Why?

-Well, he said that Calam...

Miss Jane just moved onto

the place and took possession

of it.

-Well, didn't she?

-Not exactly, Cecelia.

You see, she knew

your uncle very well.

-Go on.

-It's a well known fact that

she saved his life.

Colorado Charlie swears that

your uncle wanted Miss Jane to

have the place if anything

happened to him.

And of course you believe

every word from a character

like that.

-I'm inclined to take stock in

their story.

-Very interesting.

Before Mr. Baker came to Texas

you never gave Deadwood a

thought.

Perhaps not.

Gordon...

-I did this for you.

-For me?

-I don't understand.

-You were fresh out of law

school.

I wanted you to make

a name for yourself.

I don't need the place.

It offered the opportunity for

you to start your career with

recognition.

If I had known that I would

never have accepted your case.

Well Gordon.

Now you know.

I'll sell the saloon to Mr.

Baker.

And we'll return to

San Antonio.

I believe Calam has a just

claim.

No matter. I still went into

this to help you.

I'd rather not be helped

that way.

I know that you exchanged

letters with your uncle.

I'll ask you to

present them at the meeting.

-Of course, Gordon.

-Thank you.

-You think so, huh?

-Yes, Sheriff.

If you glance at those letters

I'm sure you'll find that the

deceased uncle,

Frank Mullen wrote to his

niece informing her of his

intentions of giving

Calamity Jane this property.

-He did, huh?

-Yes, sir.

Well, he don't say nothing

about it in any of

this writing.

Are these all the letters you

received from your uncle?

Yes Gordon.

I mean, Mr. Hastings.

Is, uh, that all, Gordon?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I keep forgetting we're

such good friends.

This case has kinda got me to

thinking.

Miss Calam and Mr. Colorado

have both sworn to oath

the deceased wanted her to

have the place.

And then we have to consider

the claim of Miss Mullen.

Her being a blood relation

gives her certain rights.

Anymore questions, Mr. Lawyer?

Yes sir, I have one more.

You have, huh?

Go ahead.

You knew that I would ask you

to present those letters as

evidence, didn't you?

Why...

Mr. Hastings are you implying

that I would hide some of the

letters?

I didn't say that Miss Cecelia

but that's exactly what I

meant.

Of all the insults...

I demand an apology.

He ain't got nothing to

apologize for.

Yeah, cause he caught you

lying.

-Oh, I'd never been treated

like this.

-Order! Order.

(SOBBING)

Well, it's getting kind of

late.

And I'm tired.

We'll continue this meeting

when that new United States

judge gets here next week.

-I'm sorry, but I'd like more

time to present new evidence.

-You would, huh?

Suits me.

Let your customers in,

Calam.

And before we reopen this

case...

I hope none of you tries any

gunplay.

Fact is...

You better not.

I wanna talk to you.

I'm sorry Calam. I didn't

do your cause much good.

You should have another

lawyer.

Oh, you did

the best you could,

Gordon.

You know...

I've been crowding in a

lot of thinking.

I got an idea that, well, if

if you weren't on my side

you and that gal would get

hitched.

You and her could be happy.

As far as the Prairie Queen,

well...

Me and Colorado can start

all over again.

We won a gold claim over on

the crick.

We could work that.

Mary Jane Canary, you're a

poor liar.

What's that?

You're barking up the wrong

tree.

I'm not in love with Cecelia

Mullen.

I admit I ain't much

at love matters, but...

Well, nobody can say

Calamity Jane ever

gave a friend a bad deal.

How about us going to the

dance together?

-Me?

-Sure.

Anything wrong with that?

Course not.

Aw, shucks.

I ain't no good at dancing.

The ladies will laugh at me.

And at you, too, for

bringing me.

No excuses. Now you get

dressed up nice and

pretty. I'll see you later.

(g*nshots)

Hey!

(g*nsh*t)

-Who is it?

-I don't know.

-I'll draw him out.

-Calam, come back here!

Calam!

Come out with your hands

raised.

Take it easy,

Calam.

-Didn't see who it was, did

you?

-No, didn't see anybody.

-Is it bad?

-No.

I've had flea bites worse

than this.

We better get you to a

doctor.

-Oh shucks, I'm alright.

-No you're not.

Here let me get a hold of

you.

Careful of that bad arm now.

Alright, go on about your

business, folks.

Dadgum varmints.

I'll get at 'em.

No, this is my fault Colorado.

They were gunning for me.

She had to get it.

Here's your g*n, Calam.

They wasn't man enough

to fight it out in the open.

-Does your arm hurt much?

-Hmm?

Oh no, not much.

This had to happen just when

we planned to go to that

party.

Well, I don't dance on my

hands, do I?

Here Colorado, you take her

upstairs and dress that wound.

Come with me, Sheriff.

Steady now, Calam.

Don't you fret. Old Colorado

will get you upstairs.

(LAUGHTER)

Well, you daughter of a four

legged squirrel! Are you

coming up here?

I'll pass.

I suppose you're all hard

of hearing.

No we're not hard of hearing.

You don't have to shout.

We don't huh?

Did none of you hear them g*n

shots?

If I investigated every shot

in Deadwood I'd be running

around all day and night.

-Where's your other

gunslinger?

-Who? Dave?

He rode over to Sheraton.

Did he leave town before

the shots were fired or right

after?

Here he is now, ask him

yourself.

You been in Sheraton,

Dave?

-Yeah.

-You was, huh?

Been out of town all day.

Say, what is this? Can't a

fellow leave the Gulch for

a spell?

Mr. Carter is an expert

horseman, Sheriff.

I wish I could ride a horse

all the way from Sheraton and

keep him as dry as this one.

What are you trying to say?

That I don't believe you were

out of town at all.

Only I can't prove it.

Alright Texan, you win for

now.

Put your g*n away, Mr.

Hastings.

And neither one of you go

for your g*ns.

Keep civil tongues in

your head.

Understand?

Dave.

What did I tell you about

acting like a school boy?

I got a score to settle with

that chap.

Well don't try to settle it in

broad daylight, you fool.

Oh, I'd have got him,

if Calam hadn't butted in.

I'll tell you when.

Give me three.

I was just thinking...

When did you start that?

Are you sure of the girl?

-Well yes, why?

-I didn't like the way she

looked at him at the hearing.

You know, Matt,

a woman in love...

Miss Cecelia...

-I just saw you talking to

Hastings.

-Yes.

-What he say?

-Told me someone tried to k*ll

him and Calamity Jane

was wounded.

-Do you know anything about

it?

-Of course not.

Remember Miss Mullen, we

have a bargain.

I haven't forgotten it.

The price that I'm paying you

for the place is like finding

so much money.

And I had no idea of losing

the man I love.

Don't worry about that.

I still get the Prairie Queen?

-And I get Gordon Hastings.

-Why certainly.

Then see that nothing happens

to him.

I'll guard his life with

yours.

Uh, pardon me, ma'am,

but could I have the pleasure

of the next dance with you?

I said pardon me, ma'am, but

could I have the pleasure of

the next dance with you?

What in tarnation's the

matter?

Can't you hear me?

I ain't gonna jump out of

my skin the first time you ask

me.

-I'm a lady.

-Ohhh...

Don't I already know that?

Well?

-Yeah, well...what?

-Help me up!

Oh, good evening, Mrs. Kelly.

Pretty music, ain't it?

Pardon me but Mrs.

Kelly tripped me.

(KNOCKING)

Come in.

How's the arm?

Oh fine, just a scratch.

(MUMBLING)

What's the matter with

him?

Matter? Plenty is

the matter.

Calam has gone plumb loco .

-Fancy manners and using

cologne water...

-Oh quiet, Colorado.

I'm looking for Herbert.

Miss Stokes wanted me to

remind him to get the

musicians for the dance.

Him and Elmer's having

a little pastime

out in the back.

You uh...

-Haven't changed your mind

about the dance, have you?

-Sure haven't.

-Howdy Miss Calam.

-Hello.

Thought you two weren't

supposed to roll dice

on the street?

-Dice, why Miss Calam...

-Which one of you has 'em?

I was rolling.

50 dollars a bet.

My point's eight.

50 more says you can make

it, Herbert.

I don't know. What do you

think, Raven?

Yes, huh.

Well, here's 50 more says you

can't do it.

Here's my 50 says you can.

There she is. Try to break us,

Herbert, if you can.

-Five.

-You'll have to do better than

that, Herbert.

Eight.

Horse, do you belong to

him or me?

-(LAUGHTER)

-Thanks Raven.

You're going to have to learn

that horse to talk better.

(LAUGHS)

She said yes. She meant

Herbert could make it.

Oh wait a minute, Elmer.

I want to thank Raven.

Thank you.

What about it, Rollo?

Are we welcome?

Bar's closed.

Calam wants the nice folks

in town to enjoy themselves.

Thank you Rollo, we will.

Get your paws off that.

Ain't you got no manners?

What are you doing here?

-I was invited.

-You was, huh?

Yes I was huh.

Well just see that you don't

start no ruckus.

I bet you don't have

inventions like this in Texas,

Miss Cecelia.

Not quite.

I doubt we have anyone that

can make better cakes than

Miss Stokes.

Land's sakes,

it ain't nothing.

Guess it just tastes better

'cause that machine keeps the

flies off it.

No telling what they'll

think of next.

Now if someone could only

invent something to do

the cooking and

and washing and ironing

for us women folks,

what a life that would be.

Well, when that happens, Emma,

we won't need no more

females around.

Land's sakes, Colorado,

how you talk.

Hello Gordon.

I ain't seen her yet but

just you wait.

Listen folks.

Guess there's no use keeping

you waiting any longer.

Come and get 'er.

But someone's gonna have to

eat with forks. There ain't

enough knives to go around.

You're beautiful, Calam.

Thanks Gordon.

My boots are about to

k*ll me.

Come on outside and sit

down.

You know something,

Calam?

You should never wear men's

clothes again.

They're a darn sight easier

to get in and out of.

You'd get used to it.

Yeah, well, Bill told me the

same thing.

Dressed up for him once, too.

Looked at me just like

you did.

He said, "Calam,

"you oughta wear womenfolk's

things more often."

I just couldn't do it.

I wanted to please Wild

Bill but...

Aw shucks, I couldn't help

him in a g*n fight with all

these

-frills hanging on me,

could I?

-I suppose not.

But there are lots of other

ways a woman can help a man

besides helping him

in a g*n fight.

I remember Ma saying

something like that.

Pa was a preacher.

I often wondered what

a woman like her would done if

she

had teamed up with a man like

Wild Bill.

-Do what every other woman in

love would do.

-Yeah.

I reckon she would,

alright.

I've been thinking about us.

So was I. I mean...

What were ya thinking?

I haven't made much of a name

for myself yet.

-It doesn't look as though

we're gonna win your case.

-Oh hang the case.

Go on.

I could make a pretty good

living in San Antonio. I-I...

Well a young lawyer just

getting started doesn't make

much money but...

Hey Calam. Where are ya?

If I had my g*ns I'd plug him!

If I had mine I'd let you

use it.

I've been looking all over

for you two.

Come on inside. They're

fixing to start the music.

Hey.

What are you doing with

your shoe off?

Oh shut up.

-May I have the first dance,

Calam?

-All right.

Thanks partner.

Thanks partner?

I wonder what put them two

on edge?

(APPLAUSE)

Thanks for rescuing me.

-You're welcome. I, uh...

-What is it?

I believe in being

business-like, and

I want you to sign some papers

binding our deal.

I'll handle this my own way.

You're giving me power of

attorney and a bill of sale

for this place tomorrow.

I'll see you in the morning.

Oh Cecelia.

-Yes?

-I was lookin' for ya.

I've been thinking...

Calam can't win so I think in

all fairness you ought to

give her a chance

to pay your price for the

saloon.

Does losing this case hurt you

very much, Gordon?

Will you return

to San Antonio,

win or lose?

I told you it was impossible

to win but I'm going back to

Texas.

Maybe you won't have

too much to worry about.

(KNOCKING)

Who is it?

It's Matt Baker. I forgot

to tell you something. Open

the door.

It is tomorrow morning.

I decided not to wait.

If you're smart, you'll keep

your mouth shut.

-Uh huh, just as I thought.

-I was gonna destroy them.

I once heard a fella say that

women are unpredictable.

Especially one that is crazy

enough to fall in love with a

man who doesn't love her.

We'll transact our legal

business right now.

(KNOCKING)

Miss Mullen?

(KNOCKING)

(GROANING)

Miss Mullen?

Miss Mullen?

(GRUNTING)

-Who did this to you?

-Uh, Matt Baker.

Thought you and he were good

friends?

I'm sorry Calam.

I got things all jumbled up.

Get me out of this, will ya?

-I wanna talk to the Sheriff.

-In due time.

-We'll talk first.

-Yes.

Maybe you're convinced now

that you're playing your

cards wrong.

Baker is a dangerous man.

Yes, yes.

I'll do anything you say.

-He threatened my life.

-Take it easy.

I was gonna make a bargain

with you.

I was gonna say you take the

Prairie Queen and

I'll take Gordon...

Funny ain't it?

I was gonna make you the same

offer,

except,

switch the ownership.

I had more letters from

my uncle.

I was gonna give them to

Gordon this morning. You...

You definitely would

get the property but

Mr. Baker...

(SOBBING)

There, there. Don't cry.

-Where's Matt Baker?

-Ain't you seen him? He went

over to your place.

-Where's Baker?

-He's upstairs in your office

with Mr. Hastings.

That's all, George.

Mr. Baker has some very

interesting papers.

Yeah, I know.

Power of attorney signed by

Miss Cecelia Mullen.

And a bill of sale for

my place at a steal of a

price.

Now look, Calam, you're late.

I'll give you a thousand

dollars to walk out

peaceably.

Maybe you'll do some walking

out of town when that gal

talks to the Sheriff.

You took some letters from

Miss Mullen and I aim to get

'em.

-What letters?

-Letters Old Frank wrote to

his niece telling her

he was going to give me

the Prairie Queen.

Hand them over, Baker.

(g*nsh*t)

Drop it!

You've got the g*n. Go on

and sh**t me.

You've had this coming for

a long time.

(PIANO NOTES PLAYED)

That's as clean as a musical

knock out as I ever seen.

Get the letters.

Reach.

Get Matt.

You got any last messages

before I leave?

-You alright, Calam?

-Sure, how's your

passengers?

Them? Huh.

I can't figure out which one's

ready for the coroner and

which one's ready for jail.

-Did you get

the letters Gordon?

-I got 'em.

All aboard that's going

to Laramie.

I wanted to say goodbye to

Calam.

But you can tell her for me

that I think she's the

grandest person I know.

Yes ma'am.

You see, Calam ain't

much of a hand to say goodbye

to folks she likes.

I gotta do it for her.

Aw shucks, you hadn't oughta

done that Miss Cecelia.

Give it to Calam. From me.

-She made us realize

we are in love.

-Yes ma'am.

Goodbye Mr. Hastings.

So long, Colorado. You

old gunslinger.

-It's been nice knowing ya.

-Don't you go getting all

sentimental-like.

Calam wants you to head on

back down to San Antone and

make yourself and Miss Cecelia

happy.

-She's a grand lady.

-You know something?

Calam's a grand lady, too.

I'll tell her you said that,

Mr. Hastings.

It'll make her happy.

All aboard that's getting

aboard.

Hiya!

-Howdy Colorado.

-Howdy Sheriff.

Well, I reckon everything

is settled.

Calam can keep the Prairie

Queen.

I'll see that United States

judge gives her a legal claim

as soon as he gets here.

You will, huh?

-Have they gone?

-Yup.

And left a couple

messages for you, Calam.

Hastings said you sure are a

fine lady.

-What else?

-Well...

-Uh...

-What is it?

Miss Cecelia said that uh...

Give ya this!

Doggone it, I done it.

Didn't get the messages

mixed up, did ya?

I hope not.

Well...

I reckon I ain't loved anyone

else but him, anyway.

Pard,

we'll meet again in the

happy hunting grounds.

I sure hope there's

plenty of room up above,

Calam.

'Cause when you and Wild Bill

get together again,

there's gonna be some

tall sh**ting.

When I die, Colorado...

I wanna be buried right here.

Beside him.

Calam's wish was granted.

Her friends buried her

beside him.

Calam died in Deadwood 27

years later.

On the same day of the month

Wild Bill was k*lled.

August the second.