02x02 - There's a Rat in the Kitchen

[bunniefuu]

[suspenseful music plays]

[Stanley] This cathedral has stood here
for nearly a thousand years,

almost as long
as your family has possessed its title.

It's generally accepted

that man has not evolved architecturally

since the construction
of these medieval cathedrals.

Our ambitions have become short-sighted.

Man's desire to unify with God
has fallen on fallow ground.

God didn't deliver,

or man didn't deliver.

The experiment has failed.

Who said the experiment is over,
Mr. Johnston?

Never show a fool your work
until it's complete.

Do you know why

the monarch holds the orb and scepter
during the coronation ceremony?

Well, for the same reason
that there is a spire on this cathedral

and a nave underneath it.

The spire and the scepter represent
the masculine, the orb, the feminine.

Giving and taking.

Sun and moon. Positive and negative.

Phallus and womb.
Bat and ball. Bottle and glass.

A pattern hidden in plain sight,
but only observed by a few.

The classical architects constructed
all positions of power

with a domed roof
and an obelisk, column or spire.

The crown represents
the conscious reconciliation

of these two opposing forces.

The mistake people make is thinking
the king is a man, not a symbol.

He is the personification

of the individual's quest to become whole.

This has always been
the hidden agenda of the monarch.

The unification
of these two disparate forces

to wield a greater power.

Where are we going with this,
Mr. Johnston?

And why are we in this cathedral?

What do you know

about this sheepskin parchment
we have over here?

Well, it's the Magna Carta,

arguably one of the most significant
constitutional documents of all time.

Just as the king is the spiritual scepter,

this document is the material orb.

Your ancestor was one of 25 barons

that forced the king
to sign this document.

I'm aware of that.

Your DNA is baked into the keystone
of Western civilization.

A legitimate king could find the balance
that was lost.

To quote you, Your Grace,

"Never show a fool your work
until it's completed."

What this country needs

is a king

that deserves such a crown.

Your ancestor was the poison.

You are the remedy.

What's the difference
between bad sh*t and good manure?

The answer is you, Your Grace.

You have the unique ability
to alchemize that which is poisonous

into that which is divine.

The ability to choose between judgment

and mercy.

A harmless man is not a complete man.

A complete man is a dangerous man
who has judgment under voluntary control.

They cannot mistake
your kindness for weakness.

The question is…

will you accept the challenge?

[dramatic music plays]

God save the King!

[gasps]

[music stops]

[dramatic music plays]

-Eduardo.
-Ciao.

[both speak Italian]

[door opens, closes]

Espresso?

Uh… [speaks Italian]

[Marco] Uh, one for me as well.
How was your flight?

[Eddie] Good.
Two and a half hours door-to-door.

[Marco] You are clearly a man
who likes to move swiftly.

[Eddie] Well, I appreciate
you sitting down with me

so soon after our previous meeting.

You have my attention.

I'd like to talk about the bill
to decriminalize marijuana

that's currently working its way
through Westminster.

You think you can stop it going through?

Ah, this is Angelica.
She's my consigliere since, um, 1996.

Right.

How do you do?

Bobby Glass is intent on k*lling the bill.

I think he'd be making a mistake.

Look at what happened in America.

Legalized marijuana created a new industry
worth 40 billion a year

without impacting the ill*gal market.

Rather than k*lling the bill,
I think we let it go through and

use our unique position in the marketplace
to dominate the legal one.

Nobody knows the business
better than we do.

With the right setup,

our skills in the ill*gal market
are fully transferable.

Bobby Glass doesn't agree?

Well, he thinks we'd be k*lling the goose
that lays the golden egg.

And you think, "Why have one goose
when you could have two?"

Exactly.

But in order for me
to dominate the legal market,

I need significant investment

so I can set up
the legitimate infrastructure

before the bill's passed into law
in the UK.

What level of investment
are we talking about?



For that, you get


My job is
to make sure the bill goes through.

Your job is to pay for the infrastructure.

I imagine a man in your position must know

plenty of well-connected people
with, uh, deep pockets.

I need a man with the requisite skill set.

Someone with ambition and aspiration.

And you are planning all this
without the approval of Bobby Glass?

Without his knowledge.
Until it's too late for him to stop it,

by which time
he'll realize what a good thing it is.

In the absence of permission,
seek forgiveness.

The sort of money we'll be making
can buy a lot of forgiveness, Mr. Moretti.

I'll split 50% of my profits
with Bobby Glass.

He's my concern, not yours.

I need time to consider this.

You have to get that bill passed, Eddie.

Of course.

Thank you.

[suspenseful music plays]

[Marco] Ah, the English way.

Before you leave,

I have a favor to ask.

Some partners of ours from the Far East,

they need help with a problem in London.

Well, what sort of problem?

One that needs to be addressed.

It involves a man called Mr. Takashi.

I'll give you the details later.

I'd appreciate your cooperation, Eddie.

In the interest of good faith,

I'll be happy to oblige.

[music stops]

[Jack] What exactly does a night out
with Lord Hawthorne involve?

The precise details
of what a night out on the town entails

is open to interpretation.

You'd certainly expect
a meal to be involved.

After that, you might expect
a segue to another venue. A bar, perhaps.

However, more important than
the number of locations you might visit

is the spirit
in which you approach the evening,

which determines whether it qualifies
as a night out on the town,

rather than two blokes getting pissed.

Smelling a rat, sister dear.

Be specific about the nature
of this spirit

you're attempting to describe.

Joyous. Celebratory.

General g*y-ery. Uh-uh.

Before you sh*t yourself,
as in the old meaning of the word.

Remind me why it's me that has to do this?

You're drowning in natural charisma, Jack.

And Lord Hawthorne is
the one person capable

of getting the Duke
into the House of Lords,

which is vital
to Dad's plan to spike the bill.

That said, His Lordship has assured me

he has no intention of making you do
anything you're uncomfortable with.

It's just a meal.

If you did want to wank him off in
the stalls, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.

Never know. You might enjoy it.

[Hawthorne] I've always
taken great pleasure

in the culinary delights
of the invertebrate. [chuckles]

The crushed ice.

The gleaming treasure

served up on a calciferous shell.

The slippery feeling
as it glides down your throat.

Do you take a couple of chews on the way,
or do you prefer to swallow them whole?

Well, it depends on the oysters.

When they're this fresh,
you need to give them a bit of a chomp.

Make sure they're dead.

Oh. Wonderful
how the animal instinct kicks in,

even in as refined a setting as this.

Tell me something, Jack.

If you had to be an animal,
which animal would it be?

Well, Dad always says I fight like a dog.

But I think that's a compliment.

[chuckles] Oh, you're much higher up
the food chain than that.

A lion, maybe.

Or perhaps a wolverine.

I've always identified as a fox.

You see, I'm wily and cunning.

And I have a very bushy tail.

Listen, Richard.

I don't mind a bit of chasey-chasey,

but there's gonna be no sucky-f*ck
at the end.

Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack. [chuckles]

I think you've completely misread things.

I wouldn't…

I don't mind playing the game

and having a little flirt,
if it makes you happy.

But your c*ck and my arse?
Not gonna happen.

Not that I have a problem with it.
It just ain't really my relish.

What is your relish?

Minge, muff, gash, clunge.

Front, not back bottom.

[Hawthorne] Hm.

Do you favor
a particular variety of clunge?

The thing is, I can be very fussy.

The challenge is,
I have a voracious appetite.

Hm. How voracious?

I don't wanna sound
like I'm showing off, but

even I'm shocked
at how hungry I am. [slurps]

I'm intrigued by you, Jack.

I should like
to get to know you a bit better.

I thought we might
drop in on a party after dinner.

A group of people I think you might enjoy.

Very well, Your Lordship.

I'm all yours for the next hour… ish.

[hip-hop music plays]

♪ Tread the line, dealer
Jesus won't heal ya ♪

♪ Krunk, you sick f*ck
They're fat enough creature ♪

♪ Only on Sunday
Gather to feast sundaes… ♪

Jack, I'd like you to meet
some friends of mine.

-[Jack] Hello, friends.
-Hello, Jack.

-I come in peace.
-Two of the finest tequilas money can buy.

-There you go, ladies.
-[woman] Thank you.

Cheers.

-You having fun, Jack?
-I'm having a lovely time, Your Lordship.

Two very special ones just for us.

-There you go, darling.
-[woman] Thank you.

[Hawthorne] Jack!

Snagged us some bubbles.

Wonderful.

Yeah, let's get out of here.

-Where are you going?
-I told ya. I've got an appetite.

But the night is young, Jack.

Can't go without trying out
something from our party bag.

Treat yourself, Dickie.
I've got my hands full.

[music fades]

[telephone rings]

Halstead Manor.

[man] Hi. Can I please
speak with the Duke?

Who shall I say is calling?

[man] Oh, Larold.
Have you forgotten me already?

I'm so sorry, Master Frederick.
I didn't recognize your voice.

[Freddy] That's okay, old boy.
I've been gone a while.

-Your sister would like a word, sir.
-[Freddy] No, no, I don't wanna… [sighs]

Fredward?

-[Freddy] Charls.
-[exhales] Finally.

[chuckles] I was starting to think
you might have fallen off the twig.

[Freddy chuckles] "Fallen" is
an interesting choice of words, Chuckles.

Right. Well…

How are you? Are you okay?

[Freddy] Ah, a little chewed up
and spat out.

Then again, so was the humble caterpillar,
and look how he turned out.

When are you coming home?

[Freddy] Oh, that depends.
That's why I was hoping to speak to Eddie.

Right, well,
can we at least come and see you, or…?

[Freddy clears throat]

Mm, maybe.

Right. Well… Well, why don't I come
with Mummy tomorrow?

[Freddy] I should warn you, Charlotte,
I'm a little different.

Figuratively, that is. I don't mean I've
got two new t*ts and a secondhand foofoo.

-[Freddy laughs]
-Okay. [chuckles]

-Well, we'll see you then.
-[Freddy] Mm, let's hope so.

I wouldn't say he seemed great,

but he didn't seem unhappy or anything.

Rather hard to describe.

[Nanny] "Not the best," six letters.

Mm. Second.

If he's ready for contact,
then that's clearly a good thing.

But we shouldn't rush him.

-[Charly] Hm.
-Quite right.

One scoop of brandy butter,
and he'll be right back where he started.

[chuckles] Freddy was never
that bad, Nanny.

He did go blind, Mummy.

Darling, he didn't go blind.
He just… heard his eye go ping.

[babbles]

How does an eye go ping?

Fair to say one has to do a sizable amount
of cocaine for that to happen.

-Maybe we'll be able to bring him home.
-[Eddie] No, Chuckles.

He summoned up the courage
to make contact.

Doesn't mean Freddy's ready.

Let's not disturb that which is working.

"Arming a sea monster."

Darling, maybe you should come with us.
I think Freddy would love to see you.

Starts with a T.

[Eddie] I would if I could, Mother.

But as you know,
I'm a little busy at the moment.

-Excuse me.
-Nine letters.

Tentacles.

Thank you, darling.

[Geoff] So what favor
does Marco Moretti want exactly?

They're looking for an accountant
who was a little too creative

with his accounting.

They've got the address of his lawyer,

who knows where he's being held
in witness protection.

And when we find the accountant?

Well,

we let them do what they need to do.

Your job is to take their man,
Mr. Takashi,

from A to B, and then on to C.

No need to get our hands dirty.

Wouldn't it be better to give this job
to one of Miss Glass's associates,

given their expertise?

[suspenseful music plays]

Hm. This one's a little off the books.

Understood, sir.

If you're at all uncomfortable with this,
Geoffrey, I completely understand.

Not at all, sir.

Anything for you and this family.

[dog whines]

Good boy, Winston. Good boy. Good boy.

[suspenseful music builds]

[man] Sir.

Mr. Takashi?

I'll take that as a yes.

Can I take your bag?

To put it in the Land Rover?

Yeah.

I'm Geoffrey Seacombe.

I'll be your driver.

Destination?

Where are we going?

-[Takashi sighs]
-[typing on phone]

[electronic voice] Lincoln's Inn Fields.

f*ck me, this will be a long day.

[music fades]

[Bobby] So, what do people do
at Lord Hawthorne's parties?

It's all very modern, Dad.

-Not your thing.
-Right.

What did he want? Your c*ck?

Yeah.

[exhales] Did you give him some?

If I thought I could get away
with just a bit of c*ck,

I would have obliged.

But it's my arsehole I was worried about.

Nice to see you still got your principles.

He's saying
the terms of the deals weren't met.

Well, they met. He went out.

-He's saying he didn't commit.
-Did you commit to going out?

I committed to going out,
but not going in.

I rest my case.

The upshot is Lord Hawthorne's asked
to increase the financials as recompense.

And given the time constraints…
we think we should give him what he wants.

What time constraints?

Bobby, the vote to decide
who becomes the new hereditary peer

is at the end of the week.

With Hawthorne's help,
we get me into the House of Lords,

where I control which way
the bill to decriminalize marijuana goes.

How much?

[Eddie] 150.

That's a



Now, we… we've got to remember
our principles here.

Jack did what Jack was supposed to do.
Jack stuck to his obligations.

Look, 150 is nothing in context.

We could have paid him 2 million.

-Let's not let principles get in the way.
-Sorry?

[tense music plays]

You… You wanna say that again?

-I think you heard what I said, Bobby.
-Yeah, I did.

And the statement disturbs me.

You see, we don't f*ck around
with our principles.

These people,
they don't know who they're dealing with.

So we pay them the agreed sum.

Now, you put a f*cking g*n down
on the table in front of them

and watch their arsehole fall out.

You need a hand with that,
you give me a shout.

I ain't paying that posh c**t
another f*cking shekel.

Keys, please.

I'll get the motor.

[Eddie] What if we paid Lord Hawthorne
out of the problem fund?

[Susie] Dad wouldn't be happy
if he found out.

[Eddie] If he finds out. He doesn't
need to know till we decide to tell him.

He'll thank us for our initiative.

You know as well as I do,

if we went around his back,
he wouldn't look upon it kindly.

If he finds out, Sue.

You're in a particularly mischievous mood
today, Edward.

Well, just trying to find a solution
to the problem.

Why don't we talk to him together?

[cell phone dings]

Unless you're otherwise engaged.

[Eddie] No, it's just Geoff.

Don't mind me.

How's he handling his new remit?
Must be hard, wearing two hats.

Let's just say he's,
uh, extremely capable.

Look, uh, it might be worth
you flying solo on this one.

If we're gonna force
Lord Hawthorne's hand,

he might respond better
to a feminine touch.

An iron fist with a Brioni glove.

With the added benefit
of allowing you time

to resolve your cryptic issue
with your capable gamekeeper.

Certainly.

Bye.

Right, Jack, if you're driving,
remember it's a car, not a rocket.

You're in safe hands, sister dear.
Buckle up.

[engine revs]

[Susie] Jack!

[Hawthorne] What a lovely bag.

I see you have a penchant
for flattery, Miss Glass.

Despite the elegant Chanel presentation,

I will be neither beguiled,
intimidated, nor threatened.

I'm not threatening you.

I'm simply contextualizing the situation.

I'd like to speak to Eddie. Where is he?

-[Susie] Busy.
-Busy doing what?

Hunting, fishing, counting the doves
in his dovecote. I don't know.

Thirty, plus a night out on the town
with my brother is what was agreed.

Now, I understand that,
despite his best endeavors,

Jack failed to deliver
what you feel was required.

But unless you can articulate
what went wrong, we're done.

He didn't

commit to the evening.

He's not a h*m*.

Neither are you, of course, a h*m*.
Jack's arse was never on the dartboard.

I didn't ask for his arse.

I wanted a night out on the town,

which, as I explained,
he failed to deliver on.

There has never been
a more heterosexual man to walk this earth

than my brother Jack.

He's like a dog with six dicks.

But they all point
in the direction of a vajayjay.

Now, if you'd like someone
to wank you off,

I suggest you close your eyes
and imagine some hairy knuckles.

Oh, that's not my thing, dear.

Mm, I rest my case.

Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
leave you here with that elegant bag

with 30,000 cash so you can go
buy as many dicks as you like.

And you can think over your options.
We'll talk tomorrow.

[suspenseful music plays]

[man groans]

Geoffrey.

Sorry to trouble you, Your Grace.

We spoke to the lawyer
as per your instructions.

-You got the address of the accountant?
-[Geoff] Over an hour ago.

But it seems our, uh, Japanese friend
is pretty keen in there.

Be more specific, Geoffrey.

We got what we came for,
but he's still torturing the poor soul.

[lawyer groans]

We have the address of the accountant.
I'll take you to him. Let's go.

[speaks Japanese]

[electronic voice] One has yet
to conclude one's work.

No, we've finished.

Let's go.

[speaks Japanese]

[electronic voice] One has yet
to conclude one's work.

[lawyer wheezes]

Work over.

This is not the job.

[lawyer wheezes]

Work over.

[groans]

Good.

[lawyer wheezes]

[Eddie] f*ck.

That's a problem, Geoffrey.

Eddie, how are things progressing
with our mutual acquaintance?

Ah, his methods are, uh,

a touch extreme, to put it mildly.

-[Marco] Yes, but you have the address?
-Yeah, we have the address.

The accountant is renting a house
in Castle Combe.

[chuckles] Let me
make something very clear.

Our target is a monster.

It's imperative
this accountant disappears.

The agreement was for one body.
We're already one body down.

Yes, but if our Japanese friend's methods
appear a little extreme,

there is a good reason for that.

Okay?

So tell me,

is it a problem or not?

Yes or no?

There's no problem.

[Marco speaks Italian]

[speaks Italian]

Let's go.

[sighs]

Remember that time
me and Jack nicked those mountain bikes?

Those Islington boys came
looking for 'em all Ralphed up,

roided to the n*pples,
threatening all sorts,

and then you, Susie Glass,
you tore straight into 'em, didn't ya?

Might have looked the bollocks.
They didn't have a bollock between them.

It's the tragic price of steroids.

I fancied you after that.

Because I stood up to a couple
of council-flat acne backs? f*ck off, Joe.

No. No, obviously
I fancied you before that.

You were gorgeous.

Still are.

No, it was the way
you wouldn't countenance any shenanigans.

Still don't.

So what exactly is this relationship
between you and the Duke?

Professional.

[Joe] Incongruous juxtaposition,
wouldn't you say?

You and His Highness?

That's a paradox, Joe.

Paradoxes relate to irony.

Ironies correlate to juxtaposition.

Really wanna play this game?

I'll play any f*cking game you like,
Susie Glass.

[Susie] Thank you, Joe.

ba*ls in pockets, fingers in pies,
noses in other people's business.

What are you up to, Big J?

You wanna back off pronto before you
find yourself in a Chinese finger trap.

I'll tell you why I ask.

I wonder if your time would be
better suited in a different game.

Different game?
What the f*ck are you talking about?

More dough.

Less bulk.

Fatter margins.

And your dad wouldn't be
barking orders at ya.

Bollocks like yours, Susie, are rare.

You've got skills, experience.

Vision.

Whilst I've no doubt there are vast gains
to be had from dealing in the powder,

the risk remains
that bit too elevated for my liking.

Since when was Susie Glass
afraid of heights?

It's not the heights. It's the volatility.

It's the South American coke dealers.
They love a morbid body puzzle.

They chop each other's cousins up
into little pieces,

put them in plastic bags,
and hide them all over the tundra.

And they put those pieces
back together again

like some third-world version
of Humpty Dumpty.

Nah, you can f*ck off, Joe.
I like the green fields of England.

What I wanna know is

if you asked me out
'cause you fancied a bunk up,

or 'cause you wanted to sound me out
about a change of career?

Can't it be both?

Olé!

-Am I supposed to take my shoes off?
-Only if it's where you keep your c*ck.

-Got to tuck it in somewhere, ain't I?
-Silly c**t.

[metallic scraping]

[Geoff] It's not my place
to say anything, sir.

[Eddie] Sounds like you're going to
anyway, so why don't you go ahead?

[Geoff] This journey
that you've embarked on

to bring the estate back
to its former glory,

it seems to be coming at quite a cost.

For years, we've been living in the zoo
and contracting.

Now we're living in the jungle
and expanding.

And, yes, that does come at a cost.

[suspenseful music plays]

[sighs]

Still up, Mr. Lawrence?

I'll turn in in due course, sir.
Perhaps a drink before I do?

I'll take a finger of the Macallan '76
in my room. Thank you.

Of course, sir.
There's a lady here to see you.

-She's waiting in your study.
-Oh.

[Lawrence] It's the Contessa
Isabella Soranza de Parme.

[door opens]

Contessa.

Good evening, Eduardo.

Sorry to drop in unannounced.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

I won't take much of your time
as it's late.

But out of respect,
I wanted to talk to you face-to-face.

How and why my boyfriend was k*lled
is no longer relevant.

That door is closed.

Now that he's gone,
his role has gone with him.

But I've spoken to Marco Moretti,
and he has asked me to take Cico's place.

So I will act as an intermediary
between you and Marco

to ensure there is no friction
between his organization and yours.

Thank you for your time.

And if I may, on a more personal note,

it seems like you could use some rest.

[poignant music plays]

Contessa.

If we're to move forward in good faith…

you might want to address the Botticelli.

Bobby's still out of pocket 16 million.

Leave it with me.

Good night.

Good night.

[music fades]

-[Sabrina] Good morning, Geoff.
-[Geoff] Morning, Your Ladyship.

You're up bright and early as usual.

-Best part of the day.
-Yes.

-I was looking for His Grace. He around?
-Uh, well, he should be down shortly.

You're looking rather chic.
Going somewhere special?

Actually, we're off to see Freddy.

And, well, it'll be wonderful
to see him again.

Can't have been easy,
everything he's gone through.

But it sounds like
he's really starting to turn a corner.

I'm glad to hear that.

It's just…

Oh, Geoff,

you'll probably think that I'm just
the most selfish old moo cow,

but the thought of him coming home

is just filling me
with a grand dollop of dread.

You're not selfish.

You're one of the most dutiful

and decent women

that I've ever had
the good fortune to meet.

I, uh, really ought to be going.
Charlotte and Tarquin will be ready.

Very good, Your Ladyship.

[cell phone buzzing]

We will pick up Mr. Takashi on the way.
He'll be tucking into his bran flakes.

Good. I'm just gonna take this, Geoffrey.

Morning, Susan. Did you manage
to resolve things with Lord Hawthorne?

[Susie] No. He messaged me this morning

to say he's still not satisfied.

I wondered if you could lend a hand,
talk to him toff guy to toff guy,

aristo to aristo,
assuming you're not too busy.

I wouldn't be able to do it
this morning, unfortunately.

But you'll be pleased
to hear that the, uh,

Countess has been in touch.

Marco Moretti's planning on using her
as his liaison from now on.

And they wanna return the 16 million
you sprayed on that Botticelli.

Why do you think Bella came to you first
instead of me?

Perhaps she wanted us
to talk toff guy to toff guy,

aristo to aristo.

Or maybe it's 'cause
I'm the one with the airfield.

Either way, I'm sure she'll be in touch.

I'm sure she will be.

[Eddie] Bye, then.

You got time for breakfast?

Maybe not breakfast.

Now, get back upstairs,
and I'll bring you a protein shake.

Yes, sir.

Gabrielle, how quickly
can you be on the road?

[dramatic music plays]

[exhales]

Gosh, it's lugubrious.

[Charly] I can think of worse places
to be locked up for six months.

I know it's been a while,
but you'll be fine.

You'll be fine.

Here you go.

-Hello.
-[man] Everybody, give Freddy some space.

Goodness, darling.

You look… well.

Hi, Freddy.

It's been a while.

It really has, hasn't it?

It's been a long old while.

Come. Come here.

-[Freddy growls happily]
-[Sabrina chuckles]

Oh, there he is.

Little, um, baby Tim.

-Tim?
-[Charly] Tarquin.

-Tarquin.
-[Charly] Yeah.

Fabulous, fabulous name. How's he doing?

-[sighs] Ghastly, most of the time.
-[Freddy chuckles]

I'd love to give him a cuddle.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah. Just, um, maybe when he wakes up.

Maybe he won't wake up.

Sorry?

Maybe he'll stay asleep,
'cause it's peaceful in here.

'Cause it's…
Well, I find it peaceful, anyway.

[suspenseful music plays]

They've just pulled up to a cottage now.
Three of them got out.

The Duke, the keeper,
and some Japanese-looking geezer.

Do we know any Japanese-looking gentlemen?

Dad's chef?

Keep your head down and us updated.

Why are we keeping an eye on the Duke?

He's sniffing around the Italians.

Too much nose to bum.

He's been pulling on the lead
a bit recently.

Not a lot.
Just a little tug every now and again.

It's just a feminine instinct
at this stage, Jackie boy.

But I wouldn't underestimate
that instinct.

[Freddy] The good news is,

I've… I've come to a realization,
which I would like to tell you about.

It's a big one. It might come as a little
bit of a shock. [chuckles awkwardly]

But, um,

I have been

reborn.

Spiritually speaking.

-[sighs]
-[Freddy] Family is everything to me.

I have been less than the older brother
I should have been.

I haven't been there for you.

All those years,

hoovering up lines of cocaine
like a f*cking Henry the Hoover.

But I wanna be there for you now.

For you and…

your newborn son.

Well, that's just--

Mummy, I failed you and Dad.

I… I… I failed in my responsibilities,

and, um, I realize that Dad was right

to leave everything… everything to Edward.

No, he was.

He was right.

And, um,

I'm glad.

[chuckles] I'm actually…
I'm grateful that he did.

Because that all led me here.

That being said, I think that I'm ready

to come home now.

[gasps]

If… I mean, if you guys want me to.

-Yes!
-Yeah.

-Oh God, of course.
-You'll have me back?

-We want you home.
-[Freddy] Great.

-We do, my darling.
-Great.

I do think it's important
not to rush into these things.

I'm not rushing.
I've thought about it a lot.

-I've got a bag packed.
-[Sabrina] Yes, well, not today.

-We don't have room in the car.
-There's no room in the car.

-I brought the dogs and Tarquin.
-[Freddy] In a 4x4?

Okay.

[melancholy music plays]

Want a cup of tea?

-Just go! Quick.
-Well, not without my phone, Mummy.

They can send it on!

-Bye, darling!
-Bye! Bye, Freddy!

-[Sabrina] Bye!
-[Charly] Bye!

-[Sabrina] Bye-bye.
-Bye, bye, bye!

Did you notice a lot of crucifixes?

Among other things.

There's something very strange going on.

[Jack] All right, Bella?

Fancy a workout?

Strictly business today, Mr. Jack.

She's in the office.

Thank you.

-Hey, you're well fit.
-Oi!

[music fades]

[Bella] Thank you.

What a wonderful place for an office.
Such a masculine atmosphere.

You can just taste the testosterone.

And yet here you sit,
a beautiful rose in a tangle of thorns.

I like to think my feminine sensibilities
act as something of a counterbalance.

How can I help you?

I'm here to kiss the ring.

I assume Eduardo told you my exciting news

that I will be acting as liaison
between Marco and your good selves.

He did indeed mention
that you'd been in contact with him.

I'm looking forward
to the chance to work together.

And my father was extremely grateful
for the repayment of the Botticelli.

I'm glad.

And I hope it will pave the way
to a new working relationship.

But I'm new to this world, Susie.

I've only ever known
la dolce vita of an aristocrat.

That's why I wanted to talk to you.

To see if you'd take me under your wing.
There's so much I have to learn.

I'm sure you'll pick up
whatever you need very quickly.

Like Eduardo?

I know he was a soldier.

But he lived just an innocuous life
of pleasure and frivolity like me.

And yet, with your guidance,
he has become so much more.

I'm sure Eddie will act
as a very good role model for you

as you oscillate between the two worlds.

The only thing
I might add at this point is,

if you ever find yourself in a situation

where you need to return
a sum of money to my father,

you might wanna talk to me about it first,
rather than Eddie.

Chain of command. That sort of thing.

Of course.

As soon as you say it,
it seems so obvious.

[Susie] Hm.

Thank you, Susanna.

You see?

You're already teaching me.

And thank you for the coffee.

[tense music plays]

[car approaches]

He's here.

[music fades]

[indistinct chatter]

I think we have a problem, Geoffrey.

[tense music resumes]

We're done. He's with his family.
Let's go. Pack up your stuff.

Phone.

Wife, kids, over.

[electronic voice speaks Japanese]

No problem.

Ah, what are you doing?

[speaks Japanese]

-[electronic voice] They all must die.
-No, no, no.

He's with his wife and his children.

We'll do it another day.

Okay?

[Takashi groans]

[Takashi groans]

Why don't you two run upstairs
and pick your rooms?

Well, this could be worse.

[Takashi straining]

[Geoff grunts]

-Good?
-Yeah.

Put him down.

[chair thuds]

Did you just hear that?

Yeah, don't worry.

[gasps]

[kids chatter]

[Eddie] Close the door behind you.

[tense music plays]

There's a rat in the kitchen.

You need to tell your wife
to take the children,

get back in the car,

while you deal with the rat.

Say yes if you understand me.

Yes.

I understand you.

She might want you to go with her,
but that's not gonna happen.

I'll be watching you.

Do not gamble with your family.

She just needs to get the kids in the car
and go into town for an ice cream.

You'll join her in an hour.

Once I've dealt with the rat?

Exactly.

Go on.

[accountant breathes deeply]

-[girl 1] I hope they have bubble gum.
-[accountant] Ice cream.

[girl 2] I want cookie dough.

[breathes heavily]

f*ck.

What are you gonna do with the rat?
k*ll it or let it out in the garden?

k*ll it.

There is a rat, isn't there?

[Eddie] f*ck. Christ.

Would you like me
to take care of this one?

No, thank you, Geoffrey. I'll do this.

[door opens]

Take a seat, please.

Okay.

Uh, could… could…
could I have a glass of water, please?

Would that be okay?

[accountant exhales]

Yes, of course.

Sit down.

[breathes deeply]

[Freddy] Remember that first time
Dad took us deer stalking?

Remember that?

We all stalked the deer together,

and then Dad let me take the shot.

Would it make any difference
if I told you I was completely innocent?

And I got it. I f*cking… I got it.

And he was so proud.

[accountant] I am not a criminal.

I am just an accountant.

[Freddy] And then when we got closer,

and it was still breathing,

I couldn't do it.

Christ.

[Freddy] You were younger than me.

Dad handed you the knife,

and you slit that thing's throat
like it was f*cking nothing.

[accountant] No. No. No.
I never worked for those guys.

My boss did. Please. Please. No, no, no.

What this country needs
is a king that deserves such a crown.

Sorry, one question. One question.

[Freddy] I am not cut out for this.

But you?

You were f*cking born for it.

You have the unique ability
to alchemize that which is poisonous

into that which is divine.

Do you have children?

[Stanley] The ability to choose
between judgment and mercy.

They cannot mistake
your kindness for weakness.

Question is,

will you

k*ll?

-Where's your God now?
-[music stops]

For God's sake.

[yells]

[breathes heavily]

We should tidy things up
and get going, sir.

Right.

[somber music plays]

[Susie] Good afternoon, Captain.

You look like you've had a day of it.
Anything you'd like to divulge?

Why don't we discuss it over a cup of tea?

[Susie] Let's skip the tea.

Get to the part where you tell me
why there's a body in your car.

Are you gonna deny it?

Geoffrey?

I have a plan for that body.

Can I remind you
of your position in the hierarchy?

You work with us, not outside of us,

and at the end of the day,
my dad is the boss.

It's best not to forget that.

I am well aware of the hierarchy, Susan.

Who is he?

There's a long
and complicated explanation,

which I'll share with you
in the fullness of time.

Back to the plan, please.

The plan is to use this body
to bring Lord Hawthorne into the fold,

thus securing my place
in the House of Lords.

First, we get one of your people
to intercept him

at one of his decadent,
all-weekend parties.

Welcome to London.

[Eddie] When he sets his drink aside,
we'll slip him a goodnight pill.

And the next morning, he'll wake up

to a lovely surprise.

[dramatic music plays]

Oh, dear God. What happened?

[cell phone buzzes]

Lord Hawthorne,
how are you this fine morning?

Oh, that's terrible. Where are you?

Good thing you called me.

We have an understanding
with the people that own that venue,

so it's definitely something
I can help you with.

As luck could have it, we happen to be
in the neighborhood. Stay where you are.

Looks like quite the party.

[Hawthorne] I have no idea what happened.

Don't worry, Dickie. I'm sure
we can find a way to sort it out for you.

-All will be well, won't it, Eddie?
-Exactly.

[music fades]

So your intention is
to let the bill go through,

decriminalize marijuana,

and evoke the wrath
of my dearly beloved father

because, what, you wanna go legitimate?

It's not about legitimate
or illegitimate, Susie.

It's about having our cake and eating it.

With Lord Hawthorne's backing,
we let the bill go through.

Then, meanwhile,
we invest in a legitimate company

that we bring in
to sell our illegally grown weed

on a legitimate market,
avoiding the cost of regulation,

undercutting our competitors,
and becoming the corner shop of cannabis.

What about the elephant in the room?

My father wants the bill
blown out of the water.

Your father's got the blinkers on.

He's not gonna appreciate
being blindsided.

Then we wait
until we can present a fait accompli

and we choose our moment
extremely carefully.

"We"?

Yes, we.

I was always gonna bring you in.
I wanted to make sure I could deliver.

-And you're confident you can?
-Well, with you on board, I am.

I'd better think about it
very carefully, then.

You'd better.

[dramatic music plays]

[Freddy] I have been reborn.

I think that I'm ready… to come home.

What do the doctors say?

There aren't any doctors.
It's not a hospital.

It's a spiritual rehabilitation center.

I, Edward Horniman, Duke of Halstead,
do swear by Almighty God

that I will be faithful

and bear true allegiance
to His Majesty the King,

his successors and heirs,

according to law,

so help me God.

[Charly] Your sponsor thinks you're ready?

Ah.

Well,

he's an interesting one. [chuckles]

[speaks Latin]

[speaks Latin]

[speaks Latin]

Something of a misunderstood guy himself.
Very clever man.

[all speak Latin]

[whispers] So help me God.

[music fades]

[Gospel John] What are
you praying for, Freddy?

[tense music plays]

For guidance.

[Gospel John] And do you feel like
you have received that guidance?

I don't know.

I don't know.

He is listening.

I prayed to him when I lost my brother.

And my prayers were answered.

Because now I've got you.

You are praying for your loss,
for that which was taken from you.

And here I am,

right by your side.

For we are now brothers.

And together,

we'll make sure we get back
what's rightfully yours.

[hip-hop music plays]

♪ The famous titty ♪

♪ The famous ♪

♪ Tread the line, dealer
Jesus won't heal ya ♪

♪ Krunk, you sick f*ck
They're fat enough, creature ♪

♪ Only on Sunday
Gather to feast sundaes ♪

♪ Clocking the town
People go weak at the knee ♪

♪ Le freak of the tower
In line for about an hour ♪

♪ Just to sh**t up her skirt
And take a photo, that's girl power ♪

♪ See my house
Yeah, it's made of f*cking cake ♪

♪ The walls, the floors, the halls
I've even got a lake ♪

♪ Yeah, pop back evil
That suffer the mind ♪

♪ Thinking I'm out of the light
Children all told that they shine ♪

♪ Catching wind on a chime
Being that fat is a crime, oh, well ♪

♪ There goes your skin
Stretching all over your thighs ♪

♪ First, you gonna tell me I lie
Then you'll go home and cry ♪

♪ Eat a tub of whatever suits you
And ink over the dye ♪

♪ Titty, t-titty, t-titty
Titty, titty, krunk ♪

♪ I don't wanna tell you
But I'm feeling your junk ♪

♪ Rock the boat
Think the captain's high ♪

♪ On the coast, I'm a scary guy ♪

♪ Titty, t-titty, t-titty
Titty, titty, krunk ♪

♪ I don't wanna tell you
But I'm feeling your junk ♪

♪ Rock the boat
Think the captain's high ♪

♪ On the coast, I'm a scary guy ♪

-♪ Margaret ♪
-♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Won't you get yourself a new facelift? ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm tired, I've been looking your way ♪

♪ And your face
Has gone through some changes ♪

♪ All good, though, titty
Don't care if you lose your features ♪

♪ Come on, kids ♪

♪ No prize if you've got enough eyes
But your bum don't look like two peaches ♪

♪ Oh my God ♪

♪ Kid, just calm down ♪

♪ Krunk king god ♪

♪ Knowing the poor man ♪

♪ Krunk k*lled god ♪