06x16 - George's Bogey-ous Relationship with Vic Is Putt to the Test

[bunniefuu]

Hey.

Hey, honey.

Dad, I'm gonna hang out with
my friends on father's day,

so is it okay if I give you
your gift now?

Is it another humidor
made out of a shoe box?

Because I really love

when my cigars
tasted like your feet.

No, I didn't want to make you
some junky kid gift this year,

so I wrote you a letter,

you know, to tell you
how I feel about you.

Very nice, very touching.
No envelope.

Angie, can you grab

your mother's day letter
off the fridge?

I think they're the same.

They're totally different.

Ready?

Yeah.
"Dear mother...
"Dear father...

"Thank you for everything
you do for me...
"Thank you for everything
you do for me...

"Especially fixing my lunch.
"Especially fixing my bike.

"This letter
comes from my heart...
"This letter
comes from my heart...

"Which is much more better...
"Which is much more better...

"Than anything I could have
bought at the golf store...
"Than anything I could have
bought at the purse
store...

Your son, Max."
Your son, Max."

"Your son, Max"?
That's...

I get a nicer Christmas card
from the mailman.

I know he's looking for a tip,
but at least he signs it,

"love, Hector. X-x-o-o."

Oh, uncle George,

what do you think
of this watch?

Oh, man, that's beautiful.

I've been saving up
from my part-time job for months

so I could afford this.
It's my father's day gift.

Oh, Veronica, I mean,
this is... too much. Thank you.

I mean, I know I'm your uncle,
but when you do stuff like this,

it makes me realize
that we really are family now.

What are you going on about?
This is for my dad.

Your dad is a criminal
who ran out on you.

That's why
you're living with me.

I know, but he's still my dad,
and it's father's day.

My gift shows
how much I love him.

Hey, superboy.

Are you hearing this?

Yeah.

Okay,
then I'm giving you

a 1-week extension
on father's day, okay?

Next Sunday, I better
feel like you love me.

¿sabes qu�
Totally engulfed in love.

And don't say
you don't have any money

because you can sell something,
so make it happen, cap'n.

Thanks a lot.

I'm not even attracted
to you anymore.

All right. It's back.

I am so sorry you
misunderstood me, uncle George.

Look,
I will make it up to you.

I will get you something
even better on uncle's day.

Uncle's day? When is that?

Oh, this year it falls
on February...

Hello,
my little angel.

Hey, daddy.

How was
the medical conference?

Oh, fantastic.

We had a great speech

on the next generation
of artificial heart,

and then we went out
for steaks and cigars

and danced with young hotties
until dawn. Hmm?

What the hell?

New hearts
are on the way, right?

Are new tongues
on the way, too?

Because I couldn't understand
a damn word you said.

"We danced
with hotties until dawn.

And what the hell?"

I am beyond your insults,
mijo.

I got the phone number
of a 21 year old.

That's right.

She broke out the digits
for her Cuban daddy. Hmm?

Ugh!

Did you call the number
to see if it was real?

Ay, George, please. It's not
the k*ll. It's the hunt.

It was fake, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah, man, big-time.

But if you ever need
auto parts in palmdale,

I got the number.

Are you staying
for dinner?

No, I just came over
to ask George something.

My hospital is having

a father/son
golf tournament tomorrow.

How would you like
to play with me?

No, Vic, I don't ever want
to play golf with you

ever again in my life.

Why not?

Because everything
is a big production to you,

and it takes forever
for you to line up a shot.

Okay. Come here.
Let's see what I got going.

Look, before you say "no"
for sure,

I have a surprise for you
in the car.

Honey, I think this
means more to my dad

than just winning
a golf tournament.

He wants
to play with you

because he thinks
of you as a son.

Look, Angie,
he's got a son.

Yeah, and they don't even speak
anymore, and it kills him.

That's why he's reaching out
to you on father's day.

This could be a very emotional
day for you two.

Listen to me.

I play golf
to escape emotion, okay?

It's five hours--

no kids, no wife.

It must be
what heaven is like.

So in your heaven,
there's no wife?

Angie, it's heaven.

I only promised till death.
Selfish.

Look it, I'm not saying
i'm-a ignore you up there.

If I see you at the gates,
i'm-a say hello to you.

Or in the garden,
you're walking by like that,

I'll be like,
"eh, what's up?"

Look, I know father's day
means a lot to you

because you didn't
have a dad.

Look how upset you were
about what Max did.

Just think how great
it would be

if you and my dad had
a more father/son relationship.

Look, Angie, I don't need
a dad now, okay?

Look, I taught myself
how to fix cars,

I take myself
to the dodger games

and when I do something good
and I feel proud,

I give myself one of these--
"good job, son. Top notch."
George, that's really sad.

Is it?
Well, when it's sad,

then it calls
for one of these--

"chin up, son.

Stiff upper lip."

Fine. If you won't play golf
with my dad for yourself,

would you at least
do it for me? Please.

All right. Fine!

But when you see me
in heaven,

and I'm leaning on a wing
like that,

and I'm talking to a girl,
you better be cool with it.

Of course
I'll be cool with it,

because I'll be on my own cloud
with Hector the mailman.

What?!

The "x-x-o-o"
was for me, fool.

Okay, Vic,

look,
I changed my mind, man.

I'll play with you
in the golf tournament.

Mijo,mijo,
that's fantastic!

Okay, look, but here are
the ground rules, all right?

None of that, all right?
No kissing, no slapping my butt

and no salsa dancing
if you make a long putt.

Oh,
I can't believe you made it.

None of that,

'cause you're gonna
embarrass me.

Fine,

and here are the shirts
we are going to wear.

Whatever. Do whatever you want,
I'll embrace it.

* all my friends

* know the low rider

* the low rider

* is a little higher

**

Hey.

Huh?

Thanks for being
our caddie today, man.

I don't think I could take five
hours out here alone with Vic.

Hey, it's gonna be fun, man.
You know, we'll have a cigar,

have some beers,
but don't worry.

I'm gonna stay sober enough
to drive the little cart.

There's no cart.

What? I'm gonna have to carry
your bags for 18 holes?

Dude, I have fluid
in my knees.

You're not just
carrying our bags.

The caddie is important.

You help me with club selection,
course management,

reading the green's
undulations, tambiã©n.

Oh, okay. Okay, well,
now I got a purpose.

All right. Check it out. This
first hole is a dogleg right.

I would strongly--

ã³rale, bagger Vance.
I got it.

Oh, man.
I hate this guy--Anthony tovar.

He's the most arrogant
anesthesiologist in the world.

Good to see you,
Dr. Palmero.

This is my son,
Dr. Tony tovar,

head of sports medicine
at St. Luke's.

This is
my son-in-law George.

He's a very important man
in the aeronautics industry.

Oh, really? Who are you with?
Uh, lockheed? Boeing? J.P.L.?

I got offers from all of 'em,

but I chose this place called
powers brothers aviation.

They're big. Unless
you're in the industry,

â¿sabes quã©? You never
would have heard of it.

Wait,
I've driven by that factory.

It's in panorama city between

the, uh, liquor store and that,
uh, check cashing place.

Since we're involved
with government contracts,

I can neither confirm nor deny
that information.

Oh, well, well,
enough of the chitchat.

It's time to grip it
and rip it.

Oh, que la!

Jeez. I think I lost it
in the sun.

Yeah, hey, Vic,
the sun dropped it, man.

It's right there
on the grass.

Excuse me.

The men
are hitting now.

Hey, Tony.

I don't want to get
in your head or anything,

you know, psychological warfare
or anything like that,

hey, but do you blink before
or after you hit it?

I don't know.
Ask your wife.

Great shot, son.
That's my boy.

Yeah,
that's a long shot,

which is what my wife would say
if you tried to hit her because

â¿sabes quã©? She's not into all
this glamour, pretty boy stuff.

Well,
that's obvious.

Damn it.

Rich, handsome
and funny--

it's gonna be
a long day for you.

Show them
what you got.

Here's your big dog.
Let her bark.

Waapahh!

Somebody better call
social services,

'cause that ball
just got spanked.

You out-drove him
by 20 yards.

Good job, son!

And that is my boy.

* go, big daddy

* go, big daddy

* hey

* go

**

Nice putt.

All right.
Last hole.

You're up by 3.

All you gotta do is 2-putt this,
and you win.

Huh. And it's all because
of this kid right here.

Mm. Oh, we are gonna
win that trophy,

and it's not gonna say
"tovar and son."

It's gonna say
"palmero and son."

Hmm, George?
I'm really proud of you.

You hear that, man?
He's proud of me.

No one's ever said that to me
except for Angie,

and she says it to Max,
so you know it means nothing.

Hey, why wouldn't he
be proud of you, man?

You're a good guy.
You take care of his daughter.

You're like
a son to him.

No, I'm not.

Although, he did buy me
a hat and a hot dog.

And then he stole my nose,

but I know
it was just in his hand.

You're up, tiger. Huh?
Sink this putt, and we win.

Hey, instead of six years
of medical school,

you should have spent more time
at the driving range.

You know, I'd trade my best day
on the golf course

for the chance to help someone
lead a pain-free life?

Yeah. Really? ¿sabes qu�
Sell it somewhere else, sister.

Bring us that trophy,
George.

It's a little uphill,
left to right 2 inches,

I could make this
in my sleep.

And that's why
you're here. Hmm?

Eh, how lucky am I
that they made this

a father/son tournament
so I could bring in my ringer?

"Ringer"? That--that's why
you asked me to play?

Of course. I'm tired
of losing to this jerk,

and you're the best golfer
I know.

That's all I ever wanted
to be when I was growing up...

Someone's little ringer.

You okay?

Yeah, I just got some sand
in my eye from the trap.

That,
and no one wants to be my dad.

Okay. Well, it breaks
right to left, so...

You played really great,
and I'm so proud of you son.
Thanks, dad.

Uh-huh, very touching.
Come on, George.

Sink this putt
and let the gloating begin.

Don't sweat it, Vic.

I'd have to miss three shots
in a row to blow this.

Oh, that's one.

George, hey, focus. Hey,
you have to make this to win.

Don't sweat it, Vic.

I bet I could make this
with my eyes closed.

I guess I can't.

What are you doing?

Tell him you love him.

George, I don't know
what's going on here,

but this is for the tie.

Come on, please, for me.
Make the putt.

Oh, for you?
Okay, that's different.

I dedicate this putt

to Vic palmero.

Fore!

Oh, I thought
I lost my ball,

but it's stuck
in your windshield, Vic.

Look, George, obviously,
you're going through something

with your father-in-law,

and that wasn't
a real victory for us.

But that's not what I'm gonna
say in the clubhouse.

We smoked you, fool!

Say that again.

Whatever.

What the hell
is wrong with you?

What do you care?

I still don't get it.

He started thinking of you
as a father,

because he thought you were
thinking of him as a son.

Ay,dios mã­o!
I had no idea.
Yeah, well it makes sense.

I mean, who wouldn't
want you as a father?

You're kind,
wise, generous--
you're not getting a tip.

Damn it! What did I clean
your clubs for then?

How was the tournament?

"George, he wants
to play with you

because he thinks of you
as a son."

Wrong! He only wanted me there
because I'm a good golfer.

No.

I'm sorry, George.

Why do I listen to you?

Because I'm always right,

but I knew
I'd be wrong eventually.

Ooh, I was right about that.
The new streak begins.

This is all your fault.

You know I hate to get
emotionally attached,

and you're always pushing it
on me--the dog, the kids,

those twins from Guatemala
who were connected at the hip.

I heard they finally
had the operation.

Really? Are they okay?

No. You know what?
I don't care.

Luisa got
the longer leg.

Oh, good.
She's the nice one.

She's the one
that wrote back.

Can we talk?

I'll leave
you two alone.

Uh... I didn't know
how to make it up to you,

so I thought I'd cover
all my bases.

Uh... I got you cigars....

A box set
of dirty Harry movies...

A yo-yo...

Comic books...

And some ice cream.

Vic, I'm not some 6-year-old kid
you can bribe.

I'll take the cigars
and this.

Look, Ernie told me
why you are upset.

I was so focused
on winning, I...

I didn't realize the effect

the father/son event
might have on you.

Look, man, you kept saying
you were proud of me.

You even called me "son."

I know. I know,
and I am sorry I misled you.

Well...

I guess I let myself
get caught up in that stuff

because that's what I would have
wanted if I had a real dad.

Chin up.

Well,
it's understandable.

In med school,
I took a psychiatry class

and learned that men
who grow up without a father

end up with more daddy issues
than a bus full of strippers.

You know, Angie's been trying
to explain my life to me

for 20 years with psychobabble,
but in one sentence--boom!

I can see the bus in my mind.

Well, I am glad we've become
closer over the years, George,

and I can honestly say
that if you were my son...

I would be proud of you.

Just 'cause you said that,

I'm gonna take the yo-yo
and the dirty Harry movies.

I didn't want to give in
too easy at first.

I don't see a trophy.

Which one
of you losers choked?

It doesn't matter. George and I
went through something,

and now we
are in a better place.

I knew
it was you.

Just like little league.

Someday you're gonna
be making that sound,

and your machine
is gonna be going like that...

And the nurses
won't be able to get in

because
I locked the door.

You know, George,

a father
is someone who's tough,

uncompromising,

with a strong
masculine presence.

Oh, my god.

I had a father.
I just didn't have a mother.

Dad, I felt bad

about the form letter I gave
you for father's day, so...

I got you another gift.

"Manny Ortega. Jack hale.
Omar Martinez."

I don't know
what this is, dude,

but if it's the same
as your mom's, Max,

I-I swear to god--

those are kids
in my class.

Read the ending.

"I'm really lucky
because I have a...

"Better dad than any of these
kids I go to school with.

Love, Max."

Happy father's day.

Hey, Max, hold on.

Yeah?

Aren't there a lot more kids
in your class?

Yeah, but I couldn't put
anyone on the list

whose dad has a cool job.

I mean, some of them are pilots
and firefighters.

What about Luke's dad?

He got busted for selling drugs
out of the house.

He used Luke as a human shield
against the cops.

Yeah, but he worked
at the zoo.

How cool is that?