16x01 - Bizarro Bottom/Squidward's Tough Break

[bunniefuu]

[seagull squawking]

Are ya ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish! ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[Painty the Pirate laughs]

[jaunty flute melody]

Argh!

- [waves crashing]
- [seagulls squawking]

♪

♪ Laid-back music playing ♪

Ah. Nothing beats a cool drink
on a lazy river, eh, Patrick?

You said it, pal!

♪ Ominous music plays ♪

Waterfall!

[both scream]

[both whimper]

[screaming]

[camera shutter clicks]

♪ lively, whimsical music
playing ♪

Glove World thanks you
for riding Contusion Falls.

Come again, after you've healed.

Oh, we will!

Could be sooner!

- [wheelchairs squeaking]
- ♪ music fades out ♪

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[tires screeching]

♪ light, playful music playing ♪

[chattering happily]

Patrick!

It's the best time of the day!

Barbecue time?

Nope!

I'm talking about scrapbooking!

We're gonna save the memory
of today forever!

Forever! Oh boy!

- [giggling]
- Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

[humming]

[inhales deeply, sighs]

- What the...?
- [whistling]

[loud crash]

- [Squidward screams]
- Let's see.

The old days, good old days...

Oh, here it is!

You belong with the classics!

[SpongeBob sighs] There.

Now I'll always remember today
exactly as it happened!

[sighs] Memory lane!

Wow!

I've always wanted to remember

to remember things!

[SpongeBob] Remember this?
When I could fly?

- Nope.
- Oh, well...

How about this one?

When we performed
at the Bubble Bowl?

No.

Well, you'll definitely
remember...

when I ripped my pants!

You sure you remember it?

'Cause that looks like my dad
ripped your pants!

That's odd.

I definitely remember
ripping my pants.

But I don't remember
being your dad.

- Or your mom.
- ♪ tense music plays

Or your grandpa!

Oh, yeah!

I don't remember any
of those people!

Patrick!
Do you know what that means?

SpongeBob!

I do not.

It means something terrible
is going on!

We have to get to your parents'
house right away!

♪ Dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

[babbling]

[sighs]

[babbling]

Garçon!

Another round
of double-scoop sundaes,

s'il vous plaît!

Don't you two
have somewhere else to be?

Oh my gosh! He's right!

Better make those sundaes to go!

♪ Dramatic musical transition ♪

♪ laid-back music playing ♪

Hello? Mr. And Mrs. Star?

[bell dings]

Oh! The kitchen!

Mom must be cooking!

♪ Mysterious music plays ♪

There you are!

Oh boy! Mom must be making

her famous trasherole!

- [Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]
- [growling, snarling]

The toaster's gone feral
and it seems hungry.

Hurry!
Let's feed it your wallet!

[Patrick grunts]

♪ intense music plays ♪

[growls]

[both whimpering]

♪ whimsical music plays ♪

- Quick thinking, Patrick.
- [toilet flushes]

Now I'm quick thinking
that my family's upstairs.

Let's go!

Between my dad and GrandPat,

someone's always
in the bathroom! [chuckles]

Hello?! Anyone in here?

[toilet flushes]

Must be Dad.
GrandPat never flushes.

- [snarls, barks]
- ♪ dramatic music plays

[both scream]

[snarls]

[whimpers]
Tinkle's gone feral too.

- This is a bit of a mess.
- ♪ music stops ♪

SpongeBob! That's it! A mess!

- ♪ bright music plays
- Come on!

My old room.

- Ah!
- Just like I left it!

[fog horn blows]

Hey, maybe there's clues in here

about where everyone went!

Yay! We get to play detective!

- Remember, no clue is too small!
- ♪ mystery music plays ♪

- Hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

Is this peanut a clue?

Good work,
Detective SquarePants.

Let me see.

[munches]

Not a clue,

but let me know
if you find more.

Is this contact lens a clue?

No, that's mine. Just fell out.

Oh.

[sputters]

Here you go!

Why, thank you!

♪ Ominous music playing ♪

[both scream]

[both] Hm?

♪ Music intensifies ♪

[both gasp]

Stand back, you monster!

SpongeBob knows karate,

and I'm not afraid
to make him use it!

[nervously] Hi-yah...

- ♪ music stops
- Whoa!

I don't want to fight you.
I need your help!

Oh, Squidina! Thank goodness!

We've been looking everywhere
for you and your family!

Well, you won't find them here.

It all started
with Patrick's Time Closet

a few weeks ago...

♪ ethereal musical transition ♪

Patrick won't mind if I store

some of my extra cleaning
supplies in here!

Whoop. [grunts]

♪ gentle, fanciful music plays ♪

[Cecil] Emergency! Ah!

This cold jumbo calzone
needs re-heating, stat!

Perfect!
Patrick's walk-in microwave!

[grunts]

[machine whirs]

Oh, the toilet's on the fritz

and I already had
my prune macchiato!

I can't hold it any longer!

Perfect!
Patrick's walk-in microwave!

[grunts]

Alright, I'm gonna need
about six hours of privacy, so...

[closet burps]

[screams]

[both scream]

[screaming]

And it grabbed 'em like this!

Guh!
And it chomped 'em like that!

Rawr!

[chuckles] Don't worry.
I've got a plan

to stop the Time Closet!

[grunts]

All we have to do is...

♪ ominous music plays ♪

[both scream]

- [panting]
- [whimpering]

[bell dings]

[screams]

[panting]

I can't believe it ate Squidina!

I was just starting
to remember I had a sister!

With her gone, it's up to us.

We have to make sure
the Time Closet

- doesn't get anyone else!
- [loud crash]

[screams]

Oh, you keep that door
to yourself, you-you-you...

[fearfully] Starting now!

♪ Suspenseful music plays ♪

We're hunting a closet.
Closets have doors.

In fact, closets
are mostly door!

Your math checks out, partner!

To catch a door, we have
to think like doors!

But how?

♪ Whimsical music plays ♪

Hey, fellas!
I can help you out of this jam!

I'm a door!

Dutch! You're a door?!

Always have been, Patrick!

And I can teach you everything
you need to know.

You just have to open the doors
of perception

in your minds!

♪ Psychedelic music plays ♪

- ♪ music stops abruptly
- Hm...

Sounds kind of hippie-dippie.

Don't knock it
till you've tried it!

Step over the threshold
of knowledge!

It all hinges on one thing:

Unlocking the potential of...

- [screams]
- ♪ ominous music plays ♪

[whimpering]

- ♪ music stops
- Patrick! I get it!

- All doors love puns!
- [joke rimshot]

We can use one
of those lame jokes

to outwit the Time Closet!

Of course!

I don't get it.

[beeping]

[both grunt]

Say, Patrick.
When is a door not a door?

[beeping]

- When it's a jar!
- [joke rimshot]

[both laughing]

[both continue laughing]

[laughing]

Thank you, folks.
We're here all night!

[laughing]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

There! Good as new!

[electricity zapping]

What now?

[SpongeBob gasps] Your family
took my place in the past!

Now we go back in time
and rescue 'em.

First stop:
Squidina in Rock Bottom!

Sure, sure, we could do that.

Or we could watch some TV!

Well, I am pretty tired from all
that fleeing we did earlier.

Oh, what the heck!

We'll watch what happened
to Squidina and then rescue her!

Yay! TV party!

[sighs]

Can I have some popcorn?

Shh! I'm watching my stories!

- [ominous music on TV]
- [SpongeBob on TV] Patrick!

I think we're on the wrong...

[screams] ...bus!

[groans]

[crashes]

Whoa!

But, sir, we need to get back

to Bikini Bottom!

[bus driver] Oh, well.

[tires screeching]

[Squidina screams]

Where am I? When am I?

[both] Squidina?!

What are you doing here?

Well, a few years from now...

- [eerie screeching]
- Huh?

[whimpering]

Never mind.
Let's just get outta here!

Where are here?

Look. Rock Bottom...

I don't wanna be here,
SpongeBob!

I wanna go home!

Okay, you two wait here.

There's a bus station
over there,

so I'm gonna go get a schedule.

- This place is so creepy.
- ♪ ominous music plays

And so cinematic!

- [tires screeching]
- [screams]

[both] Hey, Squidina.
The bus is here.

Squidina!

[Squidina panting]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, Neptune!

Oh, well. I'll grab the next bus
to Bikini Bottom

and get back to the Time Closet.

And grab some B-roll!

- [munches]
- [blows raspberry]

Next. [blows raspberry]
Next.

[blows raspberry] Next.

Looking bizarre.

- ♪ playful eerie music plays
- [toilet flushes]

- Uncanny!
- [can hisses open]

- Ooh! Teenage ne'er-do-wells.
- [burps]

The bus!

- [tires screeching]
- The bus!

Oh great, I missed another one.

- ♪ grunge music plays
- [Squidina chuckles nervously]

I don't want any trouble.

I'm just, uh, waiting
for the bus!

[blows raspberry]

Sounds... [blows raspberry]
boring.

Yeah! [blows raspberry]

Buses are for squares!
[blows raspberry]

Come take a ride with us!
[blows raspberry]

Huh? Oh, uh, my Rock Bottomese
is a little rusty.

Uh, no... [blows raspberry]
thank you.

[blows raspberry] Come on!

The next bus isn't for...
[blows raspberry] ...hours!

We're gonna... [blows raspberry]
pull some pranks!

It'll be... [blows raspberry]
fun!

It could be great footage.

The future will always be there,
so I can get back to it later.

Okay, I'm in!

Oh, right.

- [blows raspberry]
- [cheering]

Alright!

[blows raspberry]

My name is... [blows raspberry]

- This is...
- [blows raspberry]

And that's Mike.

I'm Squidina!

[blows revving raspberry]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[giggling]

[whistling]

Ooh!

[growls]

[screams]

[laughter]

♪ whimsical musical transition ♪

[laughter]

[line ringing]

[phone rings]

Krusty Krab. Make it quick.

Hi! [blows raspberry]

I'd like to order...
[blows raspberry]



Hold the Krabby...
[blows raspberry]

and the patty!

I told you kids
to stop calling here!

[grunts]

- Huh?
- ♪ ominous music plays ♪

[screams]

[Squidward whimpers]

[slurping]

Hey, could I get a refill?

[laughter]

[munching]

[inhales]

This one's... [blows raspberry]
a classic!

I can't... [blows raspberry]
wait!

♪ Gentle, comical music plays ♪

Hmm?

[screams]

[laughter]

You're the coolest kids

I've ever...
[blows raspberry] ...met.

[all] Aw, shucks!

[all blow raspberry]

I wanna hang here for days.

Bikini Bottom can wait!

And so can... [blows raspberry]
the future!

- Wait. [blows raspberry]
- [teens laughing]

Oh, you guys got me!
[blows raspberry]

[Squidina laughs]

You guys! [laughs]

[groans]

Cool. [blows raspberry]

[breathing heavily, roaring]

[munches, swallows]

[Squidina screams]

♪ gentle music plays ♪

[screams, groans]

Aw, man, I lost my footage.

Sorry, Squidina.

But hey, we fixed
the Time Closet!

- [clinks]
- [clatters]

Uh... good work.

And look, we fixed
my precious memory.

♪ Angelic choir plays ♪

Okay, let's find the rest
of your family.

Oh, oh! I found Dad!

Hey, Dad, why are you so small?

Don't worry, he'll be bigger
when we bring him back.

- [machine beeps]
- [electricity buzzing]

Aha! Here's Goo Lagoon!

Let's go get him!

- [Patrick] No, no, no!
- Whoa!

It's more fun to watch first!

♪ Surf rock music plays ♪

♪ tense music plays ♪

- Whoa! Oww!
- ♪ music stops ♪

Hey, pal, have you seen
a jumbo calzone around here?

Mm-mm.

Well, back to the hunt!
[whistling]

Could I borrow
a couple of these?

[munches] Mm-hmm.

What?! Say, that was
my son's little friend!

I wonder if he's seen
my calzone!

[SpongeBob] And now,
with the addition of two,

count 'em, two marshmallows.

[drum roll]

Heya, sonny!
Have you seen a big calzone?

Hi, Mr. Star.

I'm kind of in the middle
of impressing everyone.

Ooh, pumping iron, huh?

Yeah, I could give you
a few pointers.

Well, I suppose...

Keep your ankles
as wide as possible.

Knees locked together.

Cross grip
is my preferred method.

Back nice and rounded.
Head high. Tongue out.

Nostrils flared.

[sings] ♪ And sing ♪

[sings operatic note, wheezes]

[crickets chirping]

That's alright.

Let me show you how it's done.
Now watch closely.

- This is what they call...
- ♪ heroic music plays ♪

[in gruff voice]
"dad strength."

Uh... [laughs nervously]

[grunts]

[inhales]

[sings prolonged operatic note]

[pants ripping]

♪ music stops ♪

[all gasp]

- [gasps]
- Huh?

[laughs nervously]

[laughing]

[laughs]
Mr. Star, that was hilarious!

[laughing]

I had no idea you were so funny!

Larry likes ripped pants!

[shimmering]

In that case,
here's another fatherly tip:

Always carry
an extra pair of pants.

♪ Whimsical music plays ♪

Ah!

Oop!

[laughs]

If it was anybody else,

that joke would grow stale
and tiresome before long.

But I could watch you
rip your pants

all day long, dad-dude!

[laughs]

Let's hear it for Mr. Star!

[cheers]

[cheering]

- [laughing]
- [crowd chanting] Cecil!

Cecil! Cecil! Cecil!

[announcer] Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Ripped Cecil.

Fashion.

Ripped Cecil. Fashion.

Mr. Cecil, the models are ready.

Well, let 'em rip!

♪ Dynamic music plays ♪

[crowd exclaims]

[crowd exclaims]

[cheering]

- [cheers and applause]
- [crowd chants] Cecil! Cecil!

[French narrator] Several
thousand ripped pants later...

♪ calm music plays ♪

Who knew ripping my pants
would lead to a fashion empire?

Mr. Cecil, there's
a large group of people

outside for you.

Those must be my adoring fans!

Thank you, Linda!

Season's greetings, everyo...

- Oof!
- ♪ tense musical stinger ♪

Hey, what was that for?!

[shivers] F-For convincing us
to rip all our clothes

in the m-middle of winter!

[shivers] Yeah!
Now we're all f-f-f-freezing!

[indistinct angry chatter]

[splutters]

Now can we pull him out
of there?!

Shh!
It's getting to the good part!

Now, now, everyone!

I think I get what you all want.

You want...

the ultimate rip!

What?!

[inhales, strains]

[grunting]

Well? What did you think?

Get him!

Both of him!

Uh...

oh...

[crowd yelling angrily]

[crowd gasps]

Huh? Yeep!

[electricity zapping]

♪ ominous musical stinger ♪

[electricity zapping]

[all exclaim]

Thanks for saving me, everyone!

Eww, Dad!
Your spleen is showing.

I thought I felt a breeze!
Let me take care of that.

[grunting]

- Perfect!
- [bell dings]

We did it!

My photo's back to normal.

[Squidina] Yeah, but take a look
at this one!

The time I pulled Neptune's
spatula from the grease!

- [quack]
- But I'm not holding it.

Your mom is!

My mom is what?

Let's investigate!

Behold the ultimate
cooking utensil,

- the golden spatula!
- ♪ majestic music plays ♪

It says here,
"Many have tried to pull

this spatula
from this ancient grease

and all have failed!"

[grunting]

- Whoa!
- [crashing]

"Only a fry cook worthy
of King Neptune himself

can wield..."

[both] "...the golden spatula!"

- Wow!
- ♪ angelic choir singing ♪

[panting]

Take a picture of me
and the spatula.

[electricity zapping]

[gasps] Goodness, where am I?

Hi, Mom!

[smooching]

Hello, son!

[gasps]

SpongeBob, don't touch
that filthy thing!

We don't know where it's been!

I'll just scrub it
nice and clean.

♪ Cheery music playing ♪

[camera shutter clicks]

Here you go, sweetie!

Thanks, Mrs. Star!

Ooh. So shiny!

♪ Fanciful music plays ♪

- [thunder rumbling]
- [both] Huh?

[thunderclap]

♪ dramatic regal music playing ♪

[laughing] Yes!

At last,

someone worthy of being
the royal fry cook.

Who has freed my mighty spatula
from the grease?

- [whimsical ding]
- [quack]

There's no way you pulled
the spatula out.

You are but a lowly sponge,

puny,

an insignificant weakling.

Why, these feeble
little baby arms

could never release
my divine spatula

from its greasy prison!

Oh, sorry, your highness.
It wasn't me.

Uh, actually, it was me,
Bunny Star.

Her friends call her "Mom."

Ah, yes!

You are obviously superior!

Why, look at your muscular arms!

- [bell clanging]
- [fog horn blowing]

Keeping things clean
keeps me fit!

You have the physique of Atlas!

Make poses with me!

[eyebrows boing]

- [emphatic grunting]
- ♪ mellow jazz music playing ♪

- ♪ music ends
- [laughs]

Clearly you possess
the strength to become

the personal chef
of King Neptune!

Ooh! I've never cooked
for a deity before!

- [zaps]
- [bell dings]

Come, Bunny. Let us depart
to my palace...

in Atlantis!

Good luck, Mrs. Star!

[grunts]

You'll need to pedal.

[squeaking]

Bye, Mom! See you at dinner!

♪ Regal music playing ♪

[Bunny] Ooh! Ahh!

Behold my divine kitchen!

Nothing like a kitchen
of the gods

to whip up
a simple home-cooked meal!

- [clattering]
- Huh? Ahh!

Mmm! Have a taste!

- [groans, retches, coughs]
- ♪ whimsical music playing ♪

What is that unusual flavor?

Why, it's just
the delicious flavor

of my famous boot noodle soup!

♪ Quirky musical stinger ♪

I just lost my appetite...

Oh, nonsense.
You're a big growing god!

- [spits]
- [stomach rumbles]

[groans] I don't feel so good...

[retches]

Oh my, someone has a case

of the rumblies
in their tummy wummy!

Let's get you in bed, mister,
and fix you up!

My kingly docket
is incredibly full today

but I'm far too ill
to complete my royal duties!

Whatever shall I do?

Don't you worry, I'll handle
all your royal business!

But how will I know what to do?

When my kingdom is in peril,

my mighty trident will glow

and take you
to where you are needed!

Thank you,
but when was the last time

you gave this trident
a good scrubbing?

Please! That trident is
an ancient Atlantean artifact!

No abrasive cleaners!

Oh my! I have to get to work!

Be sure you get lots of rest,
sweetie!

Yoink!

♪ Dramatic, heroic music
playing ♪

[children chattering]

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

Oh, look at the little guppies!

Whee! [groans]

Now, why did you take me here?

[chain rattling]

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

[screaming]

Goodness, we can't have that!

- [whooshing]
- [cheering]

Phew! I finally finished
repainting the Chum...

[anchor whistling]

[crashing]

Bucket.

- [cheering]
- ♪ triumphant music playing ♪

- Bye, kiddies!
- ♪ dramatic music playing ♪

[screaming]

Well, we can't have that either!

[Plankton] How am I gonna clean
all this up?

[water rushing]

♪ low, quirky music playing ♪

Hm! That was easy.

Whoa!

- ♪ intense music playing
- [Plankton screams]

[screaming]

You are grounded, Mr. Flood!

Go to your room!

[Plankton screams, groans]

[zapping]

[flood whistling]

- [splashes]
- ♪ music ends ♪

[shimmering]

Here I go again!

Thank someone that's over!

- [rumbling]
- Oh no...

[Plankton yelps]

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

[splashing]

[gasping, screaming]

Oh dear, someone's having
a little temper tantrum!

♪ Light, cheery music playing ♪

Now, you just settle down, sweetie.

- [sizzling]
- I'm okay!

If anyone cares...

- Praise Bunny!
- ♪ triumphant music playing ♪

[all] Praise Bunny! Hooray!

♪ Bright musical transition ♪

- [glass shatters on TV]
- Why you!

What'd I do?

[quirky music playing on TV]

Who knew?

All I needed to do
was fake a bellyache

and I'd have my first day off
in a millennia!

We interrupt this program for
Bikini Bottom breaking news!

Perch Perkins here
reporting live

on Bikini Bottom's newest hero,

Bunny Star!

Excuse me, sir.
What do you think

of our new guardian angel?

Who needs King Neptune
when we have Queen Bunny!

Queen Bunny?!

I won't stand for anyone
being more popular than me!

♪ Dramatic regal music playing ♪

[thunderclap]

So, this is your new Queen,
is it? [laughs]

Bunny Star, I challenge thee

to the ultimate contest!

A herculean task to divine

who is the true god
of the ocean!

Ooh! [laughs]
That sounds like a hoot!

You heard it here first, folks.

It's time for a god-off!

[bell clangs]

♪ majestic music playing ♪

[Perch] Welcome
to the Poseidome...

[crowd cheering]

where two powerful deities
will battle it out

for Neptune's crown!

- Woo! Woo!
- You can do it, Mom!

Their challenge...

Which one of these mighty titans

can defeat the savage Kraken?

[roars]

I, King Neptune,
will defeat the Kraken...

and I'll do it using
my old trident!

- [dolphin trilling]
- [clangs]

Uh... bident.

Release the Kraken!

- [cage rattling]
- [crowd cheering]

♪ dramatic music playing ♪

[thuds]

[roars]

[electricity zapping]

Quick, Patrick, grab your mom!

[Patrick grunts]

I love your new look, Mom!

[growling]

Ahem! That's not your mom...

[Patrick grunts]

Oh hi, sweetie!

[Patrick groaning]

[electricity zaps]

Looks like it's just you
and me, Kraken!

Taste the mighty fury
of Neptune, you foul beast!

[roars]

♪ music ends ♪

Whoa!
Who you callin' foul beast?

You're no beauty queen
yourself, fella!

♪ Dramatic music resumes ♪

[zaps]

Now I remember why I put
this old thing in storage.

[electricity zapping]

Oh, I forgot!

I still have your trident!

Oh! And I made sure to give it
a good scrubbing!

h*-h*! Feel the might
of my invincible trident!

Huh?

I told her no abrasive cleaners!

♪ Cheery, upbeat music playing ♪

Hey, who knew
Neptune tasted so good?

I think I'll try him
a second time!

This is what I get
for playing hooky from work.

[chewing]

[burps]

[clangs]

Ha! Tastes like chicken...

- à la King!
- [horn honks]

[Squidina exclaims]

[groaning]

[Cecil giggles]

We did it! We rescued Mom!

- ♪ quirky music playing
- Ahh!

We'd better check the photo.

[SpongeBob] Hmm...

Phew! Thank Neptune,
it's back to normal.

Eh, not sure we should be
thanking Neptune for anything.

GrandPat is still lost in time!

Let's check the other photos!

Aww, my first day working
at the Krusty Krab!

[quack]

Well, that's not me.

It's GrandPat!

Hmm...

I didn't know GrandPat
could cook!

Come on, let's see
what happened.

- [dial clicking]
- [warbling]

- This is gonna be good!
- [popcorn popping]

[warbling]

♪ mellow music playing ♪

[SpongeBob] I'm ready!

I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready. I'm ready.

I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready. I'm ready...

Go, SpongeBob!

- Whoa!
- [thud]

There it is!

The finest eating establishment
ever established for eating!

The Krusty Krab.

[dings, puffs]

"Home of the Krabby Patty."

With a "Help Wanted" sign
in the...

Huh?

Congratulations, GrandPat.

You're our new fry cook.

I hope it's not a problem
working for your old frenemy.

I'm not working for you, Krabs.

I'm working near you.

[throbbing]

Whatever you say, old-timer.

Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!

[groaning]

[dejected sigh]

I was ready... I was ready...

♪ quirky, upbeat music playing ♪

Hey! It's the paperboy!

I'm not your paperboy anymore.

To me you'll always be
my paperboy.

[Squidward growls]

Paperboy!

[Squidward growls]

[laughing]

I've worked in the world's
finest underwater kitchens.

From the fountains of Versailles

to the reflecting pool
of the Taj Mahal.

- [snoring]
- I can easily handle this dump.

I think I'll make myself
something to eat.

- [sizzling]
- ♪ music ends

[in dejected tone] I was ready.
I was ready. I was ready.

♪ Vibrant music plays ♪

- [tires screech]
- ♪ music ends ♪

[gasps] That sounded
like hatch doors...

[sniffing]

Do you smell it?

That smell.

A kind of smelly smell.

A smelly smell that smells...

smelly.

♪ Ominous music playing ♪

Don't look at me.

All I smell are anchovies.

Anchovies?

- What?
- Anchovies!

♪ Intense music playing ♪

[meeping]

Ah! GrandPat!

Start cooking Krabby Patties,

pronto!

[Mr. Krabs wails]

[meeping continues]

Huh?

One single file line
is all I ask!

Ha. The heck with this.

Good luck, Krabs. I quit!

♪ Dramatic music playing ♪

- Pssssst.
- Huh?

Who's psssssting me?

It wasn't me.

[Plankton] Down here.

I tell ya what,
I'll give you one dollar

for that Krabby Patty.

Plankton? This patty's too big
for a little squirt like you.

Your eye is bigger
than your stomach. [chuckles]

I'm not gonna eat it,
you imbecilic invertebrate!

I need it for, uh...

[mumbles] ...something else.

In that case you can have it...

for five hundred smackers!

What?!

Oh, all right.

It's still cheaper
than a k*ller robot.

- [thud]
- [Plankton groans]

♪ suspenseful music playing ♪

Not gonna eat it, eh? Hmm.

[hissing]

[evil giggle]

♪ dramatic suspenseful music
playing ♪

Whatcha plannin' on doin'

with that Krabby Patty,
short stuff?

Well, if you must know...

I'm gonna rule the world!

[person screams]

Oh yeah?

First, I'll replicate
this patty.

Then with all the money I make
from selling them...

I'll raise
a terrifying clone army

to take over the whole world!

[grunting]

After that, who knows?

Maybe, just for the heck of it,

I'll burn it all down!

[evil laugh]

That last part
is just between us.

When's all this fun gonna start?

As soon as I push
that red button.

That button?

Looks complicated.

Nah. It's just
a simple little button.

Any idiot can push it.

Any idiot?

Any idiot.

This button? Any idiot?

Yeah, that's what I said.
Any idiot can do it!

There's one thing
you hadn't planned on.

What's that?

I'm any idiot.

[honks]

[Plankton wails]

- Ha!
- [electronic beeping]

[Karen] Formula acquired.

♪ Intense music playing ♪

All hail the Grand Patty!

♪ Dramatic music playing ♪

[laughing wildly]

[grunts]

- [all] Huh?
- [bell clangs]

[grunting, punching]

[laughing]

For my next royal act
of destruction,

I will set all of creation
on fire...

again!

[exclaiming, laughing]

Suck-ups...

By all rights,
that idea was mine!

They should be sucking up to me!

[laughs]

You had good taste
in plans, tiny.

Now let's see if you have
actual good taste.

[grunts]

[laughing, crunching]

[clangs]

[exclaiming]

[Plankton] Pain...

Ow.

How'd you like that, Krabsy?

I liked it better
when I used to smush him!

[electricity zapping]

GrandPat! The Time Closet went
all wack-a-doodle ding-dong!

You shouldn't be here, GrandPat!

So we've come to return you
to your proper timeline!

Oh!

Intruders!

Guards! Take them away!

♪ Dramatic music playing ♪

[whimpering]

Don't we get one last meal?

[door clangs shut]

Well, that didn't work out
for us.

I wonder how the rest
of the world did.

[gasps, laughs nervously]

Let's not do that.

[screaming]

Yeah. This time
let's clobber him first!

No! I have a better solution.

I'll just rewind a bit and...

Everybody, into the Time Closet!

[in dejected tone]
I was ready...

I wasready...

[electricity zapping]

A hydro-dynamic spatula

with port and starboard
attachments

and turbo drive!

Oh, sorry, keep the change.

I was ready... I was ready...

Here! Take this spatula,

fly to the Krusty Krab,

and save the day!

- What?
- Trust me. You got this.

We got this.

Who are you, beautiful stranger?

You look kinda familiar.

I'm just a simple sponge...

with a job!

Now you have one.

Whoa!

Now, who's ready?!

I'm ready!

Who's ready?!

I'm ready!

Who's ready?!

I'm ready!

♪ Bright, heroic music playing ♪

Huh? Ahh!

Come on, GrandPat.

Let's go back to the present.

No!

I was gonna play
the stock market

and invest in Goofy Goober's!

I know who wins the Bubble Bowl!

Come on, Dutch!

[quack]

[chopping, sizzling]

Just look at me go!

♪ Cheery old-timey music
playing ♪

- [munching]
- [meeping]

Patrick! SpongeBob! Come on!

Let's go, buddy.

What the heck
was that all about?

Ooh! A Krabby Patty!

- [electricity zapping]
- Huh?

- [slams]
- [screaming] Ow!

Five-second rule!

So...

do you think we averted
the GrandPat apocalypse?

Uh, is that what the kids
are calling it?

Only one way to find out.

♪ Mellow music playing ♪

[chirping]

Looks pretty normal to me!

Wait, look!

[Patrick] Grannyville?!

We forgot about
Granny Tentacles!

There she is!

♪ Regal music playing ♪

Make way for Empress Granny!

[camera shutter clicks]

This one's for sure going
in my scrapbook!

♪