16x05 - Laundro-Madness/ Hog Huntin'

[bunniefuu]

[seagull squawking]

Are ya ready, kids?

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

I can't hear you!

[kids] Aye-aye, Captain!

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish! ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[Painty the Pirate laughs]

[jaunty flute music]

Argh!

[seagulls squawking]

♪♪

♪ Harvesting my crops
Ya-ta-ta ♪

♪ Peppers look delish
Ya-ta-ta-ta ♪

♪ Banana peppers too

♪ Ya-ta-ta... ♪

[screams] Ta!

♪ Good morning, Squidward
Ya-ta-ta-ta ♪

Ya-ta-ta-ta my foot!

You made me ink
on my last clean shirt!

Now I have to go
to the laundromat!

[long gasp]

The laundromat?

Why, that's a magical place

where all filth and grime
is washed away,

making clothes spring fresh!

[Squidward grumbling]

I have a lot of filthy clothes
that need a spin and dry!

I'll do my laundry too!

Wait for me, Squidward!

I'll wait right here!

[panting]

[breathing heavily]

[sighs in relief]

- [SpongeBob] Squidward!
- Hm?

Wait for me!

Slow down, SpongeBob!

- [crash]
- [Squidward grunts]

♪ pleasant music playing ♪

Is everyone in town
doing their laundry today?

[sighs] I should've come
at 2 a.m. when it's empty.

But then you wouldn't get
to meet my stinky sock friend.

Stinky sock friend?

What in the world
are you talking about?

[creepy laughter]

Seriously?

An open machine!

Eugh!

♪ Doo doo doo ♪

Thanks for holding the washer
for me, Squidward!

- Patrick, you're naked!
- Oh.

Then I'm gonna need this!

Give me that! [grumbles]

Take this instead.

Hi, Patrick!

I don't believe
I've had the pleasure.

You're so silly.

[Patrick and SpongeBob giggle]

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

Whoa! That is one strong stink!

Oh yeah, let's do this!

[straining grunts]

Maybe I should have worn...

deodorant!

Whoa!

Can I borrow this a sec? Thanks!

Hey, Sandy!
I'm next in line. No cut-sies!

Oh, I don't need a machine,
Squidward.

I just need a little soap!

[chittering]

[inhales]

[burbling]

[sighs in relief]

[air whirring]

Clean as a hog-whistle!

So long, Squidward!

♪ Whimsical music playing ♪

Okay, little piddy,
time for a bath!

Whoa!

Check please.

Amazing!

[washing machine rumbling]

Amazing! [echoing]

Ama...

Zing!

[chomps, munches]

[all] Mmm-mazing!

-♪ spooky music playing
-[washing machine buzzes]

[bones rattling]

[grunting]

[sighs]

I forgot.
My skin is dry clean only!

[creepy laughter]

Finally, time to extract
this stain!

Whatcha got there, Squidward?

-♪ whimsical music plays
-It removes annoying stains.

Unfortunately for me, it doesn't
remove annoying sponges.

[laughs]

Ha!

[grumbling]

[groans in anger]

- Out, darn spot!
- [washing machine rumbling]

[washing machine buzzes]

Ha! The stain is gone!

Ooh, that looks marvelous
on you!

Let's see the back!

Uh, Squidward?

You're gonna need
a bigger shirt.

What the?! [groans in anger]

I wish there was something
I could do to help.

Wait a second!

[SpongeBob giggles]

Scrub harder, Squidward!
[giggles]

Seems like an unorthodox way
of cleaning your lab equipment.

Stop busting my antenna!

This is quicker
and it only costs a quarter!

[clattering]

Yikes!
Maybe it's an unbalanced load!

Or maybe you forgot to rinse
those mutation formulas

off those test tubes.

- [clattering]
- Whoa!

♪ Ominous music playing ♪

- Huh?
- [washing machine monster roars]

[roaring]

[whirring]

[Plankton screams]

[meekly] Mommy!

[screams]

Don't you ever get tired
of being right?

[screams]

Phew!

[chuckles nervously]

[screams]

[growling]

[patrons scream]

- [growls]
- [grunts]

My pant leg!

[beeping]

[lasers blasting]

[screams]

[snarling]

Tilly, be nice!

Leave that starched shirt alone!

Whoa!

[electricity buzzing]

[lasers blasting]

[roars]

- [screaming]
- [chuckles nervously]

[screams]

[patrons screaming]

[roars]

Hey, it worked!
The ink spot is gone!

I knew you could do it!

-♪ whimsical music plays
-Um, Squidward...

Oh no!
The spot is on my undershirt!

Huh?

- Grrr!
- [glass shatters]

[screaming]

[seething, grunting]

[Patrick giggling]

- [Squidward seething]
- ♪ intense music playing

[washing machine monster growls]

Hey, Squidward...

[yells] What?!

Oh! Good idea, SpongeBob.

I'll hold that spot in place
once and for all

- with this starch.
- [roars]

Say goodnight, Spot!

[muffled scream]

[high-pitched scream]

Huh?!

♪ Tense music playing ♪

♪ music fades ♪

♪ harmonious music playing ♪

The washing machine is dead!

And my clothes
are sparkling clean!

[all] Aw!

Welp, that's done.

Back to my begonias!

- He k*lled the monster!
- He saved our lives!

He's our hero!

No, no, no, no!
I didn't do anything!

I didn't save anyone!

You're my hero too, Squidward.

[chanting]
Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!

- Squidward! Squidward!
- [sighs] I just wanna go home.

I think we all learned
a lesson here today

and I wrote a song about it.

It goes a little something
like this.

Hit it!

♪ Wash and dry
My oh my ♪

♪ I got soapsuds in my eye ♪

♪ Socks will fly
Stains will die ♪

♪ Everybody Tumble Dry ♪

Yee-Haw!

♪ Skirts are clean
Pants are steamed ♪

♪ Fresh out
of the dang machine ♪

♪ Bleach your clothes
Soak your hose ♪

♪ This is how a washer goes ♪

♪ Glug Glug, Spin Spin
Ra-Kakakaka Glug ♪

♪ Glug Glug, Spin Spin
Ra-Kakakaka ♪

♪ Wash and Dry, I won't lie
I can't wait to say goodbye ♪

♪ Glug Glug, Spin Spin
Bye-Bubububye ♪

♪ Glug Glug, Spin Spin
Bye-Bubububye ♪

Squidward, wait for me!

[wheel screeching]

- [cheering]
- [yelps]

[sighs in relief]

- [screams]
- ♪ Bye-Bubububye ♪

[cheering]

[grunts]

[sneezes]

[Squidward groans]

[patrons grumbling]

It's just ink. I'll clean it up!

- [patrons clamoring]
- [Squidward screams] Ow!

Would you like to meet my piddy?

[sighs deeply]

♪♪

[crowing]

I'm delivering!

I'm delivering, I'm delivering!
I'm delivering!

- Whoa!
- Off my porch, government man!

- Or I'll poke you full of holes!
- ♪ banjo music playing ♪

Don't poke!

I already have holes!

State your business!

Food delivery
from the Krusty Krab!

♪ Jaunty music playing ♪

Here you go, valued customer!

Whoa!

Hmm... I reckon that checks out.

Let's see here. [gasps]

What in tarnation
are ya trying to pull here,

ya skilamalink!

Is there something wrong, sir?

You cheated me
out of my free napkin!

Oh! I thought I grabbed napkins
and put 'em in the... bag.

You leave me no choice!

I'm gonna... I'm gonna...

write a long angry letter!

You wait here
and don't touch my things

with yer filthy
city-dweller hands!

I guess there's no harm
in looking around while I wait.

As long as I keep my hands
to myself. [laughs]

[humming]

Ooh, a barn!

[munching]

What's that noise?

"Prize worm-hog, stay out."

Good thing
I'm not a prize worm-hog!

Oops, I almost touched it with
my filthy city-dweller hands!

But Old Man Jenkins
didn't say anything

about my super clean feet!

♪ Angelic choir plays ♪

♪ whimsical music playing ♪

- Huh?
- [chomping]

Ooh!

Uh, excuse me?

Oh! Hi, SpongeBob.

Patrick?
What are you doing here?

I'm helping Old Man Jenkins
get his prize worm-hog ready

for the county fair.

Check this place out!
There's this stuff.

Ooh!

[laughs]

[Patrick]
There's a makeup station.

Wow! [humming]

[giggling]

Is that the prize worm-hog
in all these beautiful pictures?

Yeah, her name is Beulah.

What a lovely name.

And you're in charge
of all this?

No, I just keep the mud warm.

Really warm.

Where's Beulah?

She's fancy napping
on her fancy pillows.

I hate to tell you, Patrick,
but she's not there!

[Patrick] Ah! She's gone!

Look! Her pen is open!

And so's the front door!

♪ Suspenseful music plays ♪

Old Man Jenkins
is gonna be so mad!

He's gonna poke me
full of holes!

[Old Man Jenkins] Hey,
I finished my long angry letter!

[both] What are we gonna do?!

Where is that delivery sponge?

Eh?!

Oh, he better not've gone
a-peeping in my barn!

You keep your hands
off my beautiful Beulah!

I wasn't touching her,
I was just, uh...

admiring her beauty.

Huh?

Meow.

Oh yeah, I mean... Oink.

Hmm. Something ain't right here.

Hm...

I guess it's you.

[both] Phew!

What the?! You two city slickers
tried to hoodwink me!

- Where's Beulah?!
- ♪ tense music stinger ♪

[both] We didn't mean
to let Beulah out!

We're sorry!
Don't poke us full of holes!

Enough!

You two lost her,

and you two
are gonna help me find her!

[French narrator]
One hour later...

[sniffing]

[Old Man Jenkins grumbling]

Argh! We're going about this
all wrong.

Time to go to plan B.

- Give up?
- No, ya idjit!

We set traps!

[soap opera narrator]
Like mud through cloven hooves,

these are the Days of our Sties.

[oinks]

Okay, Old Man Jenkins,
we've finished our...

What are you doing?

Yeah, we're supposed to be
making traps,

not taking naps!

This isthe trap,
ya mouth-breathers!

When Beulah hears
her favorite soap opree,

she'll climb in bed to watch it
and be too comfortable to move!

A-ha! The ol' comfort and catch!

Now show me yourtraps.

Here's my trap.

No one can resist
Krabby Patties!

Look at my trap!

When Beulah steps here,

it triggers
this spiked branch... [grunts]

...and bammo!

It's pork chops for dinner!

- Humane traps only!
- Ow!

We're trying to catch her,
not end her life!

Fine!

But I'm still hungry!

- Grrr...
- [sniffling]

- Wait! Did you hear that?
- [sobbing]

My trap! It worked!

Gotcha!

[blows nose]

[roars]

[pained sounds]

I should have picked
a less popular soap opree.

[munching]

Oh! That's mytrap!

Patrick! Those were for Beulah!

Alright, I've had enough!

Um... Eh...

What?

[groans]

Pillow... didn't... help.

[Old Man Jenkins screaming]

[panting]

Are you okay?

Somehow you seem angrier
than before.

I'm done huntin' for Beulah.

Now I'm huntin' you two...
full of holes!

-♪ suspenseful music playing
-[screaming]

[Old Man Jenkins laughing
maniacally]

- [laughter continues]
- [squeaking]

I can't tell what direction his
evil laughter is coming from!

He's everywhere!

- [maniacal laughter echoing]
- [screaming]

[devious giggle]
This'll trip them up!

[grunting]

[screaming]

Oof! [blabbing]

What?! Where'd they go?

[screaming]

[both] Oof! Huh?

-♪ ominous music playing
-[screeches]

[whimpering]

We should be safe in here,
in Old Man Jenkins' beard.

[narrator reads text]

♪ Home, home in a beard ♪

♪ Where the whiskers
and stubble are weird ♪

[sighs] You knows what,
Brother Patrick?

[yawns] This simple life
is so calmin'

I forgot what
we was runnin' from.

[yawns] So you reckon
we was runnin' from somethin'?

[snoring]

[laughing]

[grumbles] There it is again!

I've been hearing strange sounds
from my whiskers

for months now.

I bet it's those punks!

They're hiding in my beard!

-♪ tense music plays
-I'm goin' in!

[grunting]

[screaming]

Oof! Huh?

- [clucking]
- [Patrick snoring]

Your move, Brother Patrick.

Huh? Uh...

Go fish!

[both yelp]

Gotcha, varmints!

[both] Old Man Jenkins!

[screaming]

[grunting, gasping for air]

You two may be fast,

but I got one more trick
up my trousers!

I'm gonna smoke you out!

Yee-hee-hee!

-♪ suspenseful music playing
-[laughing]

It's just a matter of time,
idjits!

- [fire alarm blaring]
- [coughing]

[coughs]

[whimpers]

Oh no! It's the end of the line!

[Old Man Jenkins laughing
maniacally]

You're not escaping this time!

I don't think any of us
are escaping. Look!

[screaming]

[pig squeals]

♪ heroic music playing ♪

- Look, it's my Beulah!
- [cheering]

[Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]

[screaming]

- [Patrick groans]
- Whoa!

Woo! Woo!

I'm on fire!

[gurgling]

[groaning]

Beulah?

♪ Romantic music playing ♪

It isyou! Where were you?

Oink!

I got so caught up
in my angry letters

that you went to the fair

and entered the contest
on your own?

And look!

You won first prize!

[whimpering, sobbing]

[Patrick and SpongeBob] Aw!

Oh, wait! Here you go!

You can dry your face
with this Krusty Krab napkin!

♪ Angelic choir plays ♪

You had my napkin
this whole time?

[SpongeBob]
Must've been in my other pocket.

Hm... Run.

[screaming]

♪ country theme music playing ♪

Yee-hee!

♪♪