01x05 - Newsworthy

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil
paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight
Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills
Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other
they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

[sirens wail]

I first met the Turtles

in a battle
that raged on for hours.

Since that first battle,
I knew--

That's not me, I'm over there.

[playback whirs]

Prepare to taste the awesome
wrath of my incredible--

[squeaks]

I knew after this first
fantastical battle,

we would meet again.

And again.

For I am Warren Stone,
former number one news anchor,

and the greatest foe of

the Teenage Mutant
Loser Turtles.

- [buzzing]

- Ha-ha!
Uh...mm?

Ooh, I'm late.
[grunts]

- I am Carly Balmaceda

filling in for the completely
forgotten Warren Stone.

- [gasps, groans]

- The search for missing
hypnotist, Mezmer-Ron,

and his hippopotamus,
Doug, continues.

In unrelated news, a monster
hippo in a magician's tuxedo

is terrorizing
local magicians,

and stealing
their trick animals.

And with no animals,

there's no magic.
all: [sobbing]

- News flash,
those wannabe hero Turtles

will be hot on that
mutant hippo's trail,

which will make setting
a trap for them so easy.

[eyes plop]
Hmm?

[dramatic music]
With their destruction

coming at my hands,

I won't be reporting the news,

I'll be the news.

[suspenseful music]
- [whirs, clanks]]

Ah!
[grunts]

♪ ♪

[grunts, groaning]

You sure that evil mutant hippo
is around here?

It's a million degrees
in this thing.

- Um, I'd be happy to wear it,
if you need a break.

- No, no. No, no, no, no.
I'm the leader.

The leader wears the suit.

- Well, I mean,
he's got a point.

Raph is the most hippo-like.
- [chuckles]

- I'm gonna attract him,

I need a little more of
that female hippo scent.

[romantic music]

Jazzy fresh.
- Help!

- Guys, that must be him.

- A hippo magician is trying
to saw my magic worm in half.

[suspenseful music]

[spotlights clank on]

[lights bang]

- Does anyone else find this
whole thing a little--

- Odd? Just--
- Magic worm?

- Totally legit.
[grunts]

Don't worry,
Raph will save you.

Ouf.
- [whimpers] Oh.

[grunts]

- Uh... 'ey, 'ey.

Raph stuck.
[arms whir]

- Not again.

both: [groaning]

[dramatic music]
- [maniacal laughter]

Stepped right
into my goop trap.

- Your what now?
- Goop trap.

- Talking magic worm?

- That was all a ruse.

For I am Warren Stone,
your greatest foe, and--

[squeaks]

- I'm sorry,
Warren who?

- Stop it. Stone.
I'm your great--

I'm your greatest fo--
- Ah, don't tell me.

What are you?
Uh, Worm-Man?

- No, no, no, I'm Wa--

- Can someone help me
get unstuck?

[playful music]
- Fine.

both: [groaning]
- Um, greatest nemesis, here.

Stop.
[battle cry]

[dramatic music]

[plops]

- Ah, get it off from me.
It's gross.

- Classic mistake.

I may be small,
but I'm also very--ah!

- Huh?

- [grunts]

- Oh, what did you do?

- He was on my head.
I panicked.

- Is he gonna be okay?
- Is he gonna be okay?

- [plops, squelches]

- He's in two pieces.
- You fools.

all: [squeal, whimper]

- [body grumbles, grunts]
You've unleashed

my ultimate power.
Now I can--

- You can clone yourself?
- No, I regenerate.

[groans] It's an amazing power,
but it's incredibly painful.

- Fascinating. How long does
the regeneration process take?

- Several... days.

- And you grow back
with double the strength.

- No.
- But for times the size.

- If I don't grow back
twice as strong,

why would I grow back
four times as big?

Ow [groaning].
- I don't understand you.

- Can we go get some pizza now?
I'm hungry.

- Are you sure
he's gonna be okay, guys?

- [groans] I'm fine,
you swamp-stinking,

county-fair-prize losers.
Ouf.

- You heard his scream.
He's fine.

Ugh, I had my fists set on
bustin' up a magic hippo.

What a waste.

- They wanna
fight a magic hippo?

I'll give them a magic...
worm.

♪ ♪

[bell rings]

[lighthearted music]

Uh, an anonymous source told me
this is where you get some...

enhancements.

- Huh?

- Mutant enhancements.
Mystical mu--

- You're just supposed
to say the password.

Wink.

[grunts, groans]
[legs clank]

Okay...
Wink?

- Yep. You did it again, Clem.

"Wink" is the password.

♪ ♪

[menacing music]

♪ ♪

- Huh? Oh.
Ooh.

[shimmer chimes]

Give me the blue.

Now, give me your phone.

Uh, yes, I'd like to report
a rampaging hippo

outside the Burgundy Center.
- [inquisitive groaning]

[instructive groaning]
- [muffled groaning]

[engine revs, tires squeal]
[siren wailing]

- You want my name?

Uh, Current Occupant.

[grunts]
- [bleats]

[dramatic music]

- [laughing menacingly]

♪ ♪

[siren wailing]

- Now, you're sure
the hippo is in there?

- Uh, yes, I picked it up
on my scanner.

A current occupant
called it in.

- Now, explain it to me again,
why can't I wear the suit?

- Oh, we've been over this.

- You ruined that woman's
95th birthday.

- She's fine.

- I'll do you
in the suit proud.

- Treat her with respect.
And be careful.

- [yelps, grunts]

[romantic music]
- Uh, what is he doing?

- Some mating dance
he saw on Nature Planet.

- Hippo, I'm right here.
- Hippo-Man.

Your biggest fan is here.
She loves magician's animals.

Bunnies, doves, tigers and
was hoping you brought some.

- I hope he likes me.
- He will.

Of course he'll like you.
You're adorable.

- Ah, ah, ooh, ah, ah, uh.
[music stops abruptly]

- Breaking news.

- [grunts]

[news program music]

- You may have
beaten me before,

but I'm a little tougher
this time.

You see, I've enhanced myself.

I've really grown into my role
as your greatest nemesis.

I'm really pumped for
our little tête-à-tête.

- Jumpin' Jack Flash!
- Okay.

[cricket chirps]

- You're not a hippo,
are you?

- [grunts]
No, I'm not a hippo.

Do I look like a hippo to--
- Maybe a baby hippo?

- I am not a hippo, and
please stop interrupting me.

I called in the hippo sighting.
- Guys [stammers].

He's Current Occupant.
- Yes, he gets it.

- I am Current Occupant.

- And we're here to save you
from the hippo magician.

Where is he?
- No, you green idiot.

It was a ruse.
There is no hippo.

I'm Warren Stone,
your greatest nemesis.

Prepare to meet your--
[expl*si*n]

all: [yelp]

- Ta-da!
Hypno-Potamus has arrived.

- [groans]
- Finally.

It's the thing
we actually care about.

You're up, Mikey.
[romantic music]

- [softly sniffs]

Hello,
future Mrs. Hypno-Potamus.

- [giggles] You tease.
- [wink chimes]

- Oh my.
- [weeping]

- Ugh.
- [gasps]

- See?
My hippo is more hippo-ey.

- [lips smacking]
[groans]

[yelps]

[laughter]

- Pulled the ol'
false-Jenny on me.

Ugh. I gotta say, this has been
the worst mating season.

Ah, feel the power.

- That is one well-dressed
evil mutant hippo.

- Fellas, let's smash this guy.
both: [grunt]

- No, smash this guy.
This one right here.

Me.
[squeaks]

Oh, come on.

[upbeat music]
- [grunts]

- Sleight of hand.

♪ ♪

- [groans]

[crackling]

- [yelps, groan]

♪ ♪

- Mm? Phew.
[laughter]

[grunts]

- Mezmer-roo!...
[hypnotizing vibrato]

- Oh!
- Whoa.

- [laughs maniacally]

Now, which one should
I take care of first, hmm?

Big Red?
Baby Blue?

No [laughs].
I think I'll start with you,

you lovely trickster.

- [scoffs]
Some nemesis.

He doesn't even know
their names.

Uh? Huh?
Uh.

[stirring music]

[groaning angrily]

♪ ♪

- This could get messy.

Like me gumboots
in a downy drencher.

- Breaking news.

If anyone's gonna
end these guys,

it's gonna be me.

- Sorry, who--who--who are you?

- I'm Warren... Oh.
[grunts]

I'm Warren "Bad Boy" Stone.

I hate these turtle punks
more than anyone,

that's why I have to stop you.
- [laughs]

I'm laughing.

Prepare to be Mezme-roo...
[hypnotizing vibrato]

- This is really gonna hurt.
[groans]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Mm?

[yelps]
[crystal shatters]

- [grunts]
Hmm, Turtles.

Finally, we can start--
[squeaks]

- What just happened?

- I think we won.
- My plan must've worked.

- And it was my plan
to use your plan.

You're welcome, everybody.

- I think by rejecting him
I broke his heart.

Ooh, sheesh.
This suit is too much power.

- No.
- Huh?

- I saved you loser Turtles
by hypnotizing that beast

and saving your lives.
[grunts]

- And you are?
- Hmm.

[upbeat music]