01x07 - Down with the Sickness

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil
paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight
Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills
Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other
they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise ♪

♪ Cowabunga ♪

♪ Rise of the ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell
Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise ♪

[thumping techno music
playing]

- Yeah, all right.

- Get 'em.

- [grunting]

- I don't think
he's got this.

- Hey! Leave him alone.

- What? I'm just saying
he doesn't have this.

- You're just trying
to get in my head.

- Oh, my peaches and cream,
he just doubled.

- [coughing and wheezing]

- Rag! Now!

- Have I ever told you
how big and beautiful you are?

- No, but thank you.

- Uh, he is about to set
a new high score.

I can't watch,
but I can't not watch!

- [coughing]

[labored breathing]

♪ ♪

- You know what they say
about big-time moments?

- Yes, I do.

They say that in big-time
moments,

leaders make--

- Brain!

- Game over.

- Ow, my brain!

- No!

Why?

- [inhales heavily]

[sneezes weakly]

- Gesundheit.

- Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh,
Splinter's a zombie!

- Mikey, zombies are interested
in other people's brains.

- Rat Flu.
This is not a drill.

I repeat,
this is not a drill, boys.

- I feel terrible.

Do I look terrible?

Be honest.

[woman screams]

- Whoa!
- Okay.

- You look great,
not horribly sick at all.

He's horribly sick.

- Look, a flu this intense

is going to affect
all areas of his brain--

I'm talking
the full seven stages--

before his body
naturally heals itself.

- You guys know what
the full seven stages mean?

- Mm-hmm.

- Another chance to get
whatever we want!

all: Yeah!

- But poor Dad.

He must feel terrible.

But lucky us, he'll say yes
to whatever we ask for!

Whoo-hoo!

- Only if we make it all
the way to end of the flu,

the elusive
stage seven.

And we never get there.

- This year's gonna be
different.

Nobody's getting bit.

Nobody's getting infected.

- When we do
make it to the end,

which I'm now calling
the Must Say Yes stage,

what are we gonna ask for?

all: Hmm...

- Hmm.

Well, this year, I was
thinking we could ask for,

uh, um, er--uh...

- Aww, he's got nothing.
We're dead.

- Hey, I got something,
all right?

Like a, uh--

- Uranium!

Oh, we should absolutely
ask for uranium.

I mean, if I could finally
get my hands

on a little of that, we would
be virtually unstoppa--

- What about a brick oven
for pizza?

- Who's gonna clean that?

What we should ask for
is matching unicorn onesies.

Those are sick! Pun intended.

And I nailed it.

[all grunting]

- Enough.
I got this, all right?

I'm gonna ask Splinter

for something
that benefits all of us.

- This is so exciting!

But terrible for Dad.

[gasps]

- Buckle up, boys.
It's about to get weird.

[air whooshing]

- [babbling]

[razor buzzing]

[all shivering]

- I hate stage one.

Think warm
thoughts.

Pizza ovens.
Bricks from Italy.

Wood chips roasting.

- We're four hours in.

His fever's
gotta break soon.

- I told you guys
to plan ahead.

Now I'm sitting here
all toasty.

[slurps]

[spits]

What? Wha--
Why?

- Had to air myself out.

[growls]

[screeches]

[all screaming]

[all screaming]

- Don't eat me!

Raph's tastier!

- Suits on! Suits on!

Donnie, get the device ready.

- Uh, it's ready.

You know, my inspiration
for this device was simplicity.

Why dress something up
with lots of bells and whistles

when you can just let it
speak for its--

- No one has time for this!

[deep rumbling]

[grunts]

- Nice!

All right,
let's get him inside.

- [snarling]

- Okay, this should hold him
for a while.

- And you're sure
this isn't cruel?

- He loves pizza

and confined spaces
you can barely breathe in.

- Donnie, is it gonna hold up?

- Most definitely!

- [snarling]

- [screaming]

[hard rock music]

♪ ♪

- [snarling]

- Aah!

- Mikey, follow me,
and be careful.

We can't afford to lose anyone
before stage seven.

- I thought we all agreed

it was now called
the Must Say Yes stage.

- It would be easier for me
to be careful

if I knew you were gonna
ask for a pizza oven.

- I'm still thinking!

- Quick question:
is uranium still on the table?

- Ugh!

Where's Splinter?
Mikey, you smell him?

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- [whimpers]

♪ ♪

[gasps]

- [sighs]
- [gasping]

- He's not under there.

- Uh...

- What?
- [shrieks]

- Use your words.

- He's...on...you.

- What? Heats on stew?

- He's on you.

- He's on me?

- Yes.

- [snarls]
- [screams]

- [snarling]

Oh, my favorite son.

- Favorite son? Run!

- Ugh, these things
do not breathe.

- I know, right?

Uh, now, are we sure
we're safe?

- Calm down.
We're fine.

Raph and Mikey have it
under contr--oh, no.

- Stage three. Stage three.

- Oh, little baby blue,
come to Papa.

- Suits on! Suits on!

- Why weren't you
in your suits?

- It was Leo.

- No one forced you to,
Donnie!

Ugh, what's that smell?

- I love you
this much.

- No, no, you don't.
I'm your least favorite!

- Uh, Leo's infected.

Quarantine him.

- Hey, you need me to get
to the Must Say Yes stage.

We need to ask
for the onesies--

Whoa, it is really hot.

Is there a fire?

There's a fire here, right?

The floor is made of lava?

[screams]

- Down to three.

All right, fellas,
let's be careful

so the rest of us can make sure
we get what we want.

Who's got eyes
on the package?

- [gasps]

I lost him.

Oh!

[both gasp]

- Hot soup!

- [yelps]

all: Ah!

- Oh!

Where'd Splinter go?

all: Huh?

- Guys! I think I felt him!

- Hey, that is my butt!

[all grunting]

Ow! Would everyone please
stop hitting me?

- Now I've really got him.

Take that, itchy fuzzball.

- [groaning]

- Oh, not my lab!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Donnie, you hit?

- No, no, I'm fine.

I just cut myself
on that janky old door.

Everything's okay.

Raph, did you decide
what we're gonna ask for?

- Yeah, I got it.
I'm gonna ask for--

- [clears throat]
- Huh? What?

- ♪ I'm... ♪

- I can't feel my ears!
Nothing is worth this!

- We're so close.
Only two stages left.

- And three
totally healthy turtles left.

Man, why is it so hot in here?

Oh, you're gonna get squat
from Splinter without Donnie,

not without ol' Donnie!

I'm the brains
behind this operation!

[sneezes]

- Uh, what stage
are we on now?

- Okay, okay, okay.
Listen, listen, listen.

Okay, we open on noodle shop.

It's raining.

Lou Jitsu--
hot soups, two assassins,

then wham--
interdimensional doorway opens,

and out walks...
♪ Dun-dun-duh ♪

Jupiter Jim,
and we smash to titles!

- This is amazing.
Keep going.

- We're almost
at stage seven.

This is the closest I've been
to success, uh, ever.

- [sneezes]

We're done.

Raph is totally
gonna blow this.

He has no idea what to ask for,
which means--

Getting hot.

It's like I'm on the sun here.

- [chuckles]

I'm not gonna blow this.

- Raphael, I love you,
my brother,

but you do tend to fail
in big moments.

Pishposh.
But that's what makes you you.

Now bring it in, buddy.

I'm gonna hug you
till a smile comes out.

- Enough!

Raph's got this,
'cause in big-time moments,

leaders make big-time shots,
and I'm big-time!

- [hissing] He must say yes.

Make him say yes.

- Enough!

Don't mess this up, Raph.

Don't mess this up.

- Don't forget we only get

to ask for one thing,
my little Raph-a-doodle.

- I know exactly
what I'm asking for.

[dramatic music]

- [moans and sniffles]

♪ ♪

- Master Splinter,

I know you'll say yes
to whatever I ask for.

I want you to give--

- Raph-a-doodle a hug!

Everybody loves hugs!

- What? No!
Anything but that!

- [laughing]
Come here!

- Oh! Ow!

- [smooching]

- [sneezes]

- Ooh, flu.

Papa wants a new bike.

[bicycle bell dings]

[sneezes]

Uh-oh.