01x28 - You Got Served/How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Rise of the

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Rise of the

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rising up against evil paint the city green ♪

♪ Raph is ready for a fight Leo's making a scene ♪

♪ Mikey's got mad skills Donnie rocks machines ♪

♪ With each other they discover ♪

♪ Their destiny and rise

♪ Cowabunga

♪ Rise of the

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in the half-shell Turtle power ♪

♪ Rise

[instrumental hip-hop music]

♪

[tires squeal]

[portal whirs]

[accordion music playing]

- We have never been graced

with a yokai of your kind before.

[chuckles]

And I sure hope that was your lap.

- [groans]

[portal whirs]

[menacing music]

[buzzing]

[thump, splat]

[gasps]

The Makers of Brutality?

all: [groaning]

- [snaps finger] - My humblest apologies,

Boss Beverly. May I suffer

a thousand tortures for making you wait.

- Eye sockets this way, Hueso.

We're here for the mob meeting.

- The Makers of Brutality meeting is tonight?

- Nobody forgets my boss' business dinner.

- [screams]

[clients screaming]

[laughs] Excuse me,

but I am not a soup crouton.

[funk music]

- Run of the Mill Pizza.

I am so gonna beat you there. - Not a competition.

- Did you say something, second place?

- Just 'cause you beat me in Skate Ball for the first time

doesn't make you the all-time champ of everything.

- I know, just the all-time champ of today, baby.

Cowabunga! - Yeah.

[laughs] - Yes! Yeah.

both: [grunt]

- On the scene, just like you asked.

Give us the .

- I booked the Makers of Brutality

and the Masters of Barbarianism meetings for the same night.

- Uh, is that bad?

- They are mortal enemies.

They will not hesitate to bash each other

and destroy my whole place.

- So, naturally, you called the toughest bouncers you knew

to boot these bozos out of here.

- Heavens no.

I need you to be my waiters and chefs.

My entire staff cut out when they saw those brutes.

You two will be my temps.

- But we're natural born bouncers.

That's like asking Lou Jitsu to serve cold soup.

- Yes, yes, you will cope. Now, keep them separated,

always eating, and never let them fight each other

or else they will destroy my restaurant.

My body can be repaired, but my heart,

she lives in my restaurant.

Let no harm come to her.

- All right, all right, all right.

But can we keep our weapons?

- No, no, those are way too sharp

to be around this restaurant.

Side note, push dishes that require only spoons.

both: Huh?

- Buenas noches.

Our completely trained and completely professional

waiting staff will be right with you.

[thump] Huh?

[menacing music] - [snorts]

- The Masters of Barbarianism?

[gasps, laughs]

Excuse me just for one minute.

all: Hmm... - Welcome, welcome.

[upbeat music] - Oh, yeah.

- Got dressed quicker than you. - Okay, stop.

We got a job to do here.

Plus, everyone knows it's all about who wore it best.

Um, me.

- Sorry, can't hear you. Too busy being a great waiter.

Hello, new friends.

Are we ready to be seated?

both: [hissing] - I'll take that as a yes.

This way.

Hold these, coat boy. - What?

[clank]

Hey!

- Hmm. - Thank you for coming.

I'm Michael, the number one waiter here--ah!

[glass shatters]

- I'll be serving you serpent dudes,

as my brother serves some other guys

who I'm sure you've never met.

Huh? [whimpers]

Ah. all: [inquisitive groan]

- Huh? Ah... - Oh, no.

[dramatic music] all: [groan]

- Come to think of it, maybe we shouldn't have sat you

right next to each other.

all: [hiss]

- It is like all they heard was, "Make them fight."

- [growls] - [growls]

- Okay, everybody, chill.

both: Hmm...

- We wouldn't wanna damage this fine eating establishment.

Besides, it's not good to fight on an empty stomach.

Who's got six fingers and just saved the day?

This guy.

- [groans]

Who needs menus?

I see you in a thin crust swimming in sheep cheese

and succulent swamp meats.

all: Oh. - Yes.

Ha-ha! Good luck coming up with anything half as good as that,

Second Place. [laughs]

- Uh...

- [whispers] All time champ of the day.

- [groans] - Ooh, baby.

- What about us, Blue?

- [chuckles nervously] Um...

- Uh... [panting]

- Yeah, it's all good, chief. I have the perfect thing.

[dramatic thump]

- [snorts]

- [giggles] - Estupido.

- Way to go, Orange. I love this guy.

Come here.

Here's a little something extra for you.

- Thanks. No way.

Four unicorns.

- Get over here.

- Gosh, look at how cute they are.

Aw.

- Okay, stop. By impressing your guys,

you showed me up and made me tick my guys off.

You remember why we're here, right?

- Sounds like Second Place is jelly of my unicorns.

- This is not a competition.

- Says the guy with zero unicorns.

- What are we talking about?

- How come you got something fancy?

- Maybe this place knows a real mob boss when they meet one.

both: [groan]

- [laughs] One million apologies.

Is there--? - We want Orange

to wait on us. - Yes.

Ha-cha! More unicorns for Mikey.

And how may the all-time champ of today be of service to you?

- Hey, they're my mobsters. - [grunts]

[dramatic music]

- [smug laughter]

[applause]

- [chuckles]

Here you go, kid. - Oh.

- Five unicorns. That's one more than four.

- [gasps] - Shocking.

As waiters they do not totally stink.

- Hey, that's my bread.

Those are supposed to be my unicorns.

- What's that, Second Place? No, no, last place.

- Oh, it is on.

Whoever gets the most unicorns

is the all-time champ of forever, baby.

- Bring it, baby.

both: [groaning]

[tense music]

[grunting]

[knife clacking on cutting board]

♪

[blade swishes]

♪

- Ah!

- [grunting]

[applause]

♪

[applause]

♪

[accordion music playing] - Whoo-hoo! Yeah.

- Excellent.

- Ah!

- [moaning]

[spirited music]

both: [grunting]

♪

[blade swishes]

♪

[fire roars]

- Ah. Ah!

- [groans]

♪

both: [screaming]

all: [gasp]

[groan] - No, no, no, no, no, no.

My grandmother had a saying.

Do not get mad, eat cake.

[bell rings] all: Mmm.

- Cake.

- One thousand one, one thousand two--

oh, what's this? One thousand three unicorns.

- Me too. We're dead even.

I'm naming you all George, except you.

You're Mikey Jr.

- We have the best cake above or below the city.

all: Oh.

- Ah!

all: [groan]

- One day, we will all laugh at this.

Apparently, today is not that day.

[screams]

- Five unicorns to whichever waiter

shatters Bonesy into a hundred pieces.

- Huh? - No way.

There's not enough unicorns in the world.

- One hundred unicorns.

both: Deal.

- I mean, no. I mean, deal.

Oh, I'm so conflicted.

- Please, take the deal.

Broken bones are nothing compared to my broken heart

if my restaurant, she was destroyed.

- For the love of brutality, I'll do it then.

- [screams] Not my chandelier.

[whimpers]

- Sorry, chicos, you can't put a price on friendship.

We got so carried away with our competition,

we forgot what really matters.

Punching and kicking bad guys. - Yeah!

- As well as not damaging one square inch of my restaurant.

- Somebody teach these circus clowns a lesson.

- [hisses, screams]

- [grunts]

Ah! - Huh?

Whoa. - [screams]

[groans]

- Ah. Phew--ah!

- [growls] Huh?

- Oh. - [whimpering]

- [chuckles]

[dishes swish]

[upbeat music]

Boom-bam-bang.

- Let me get these out of the way.

- [grunts]

- Mm? Oh.

♪

- [laughs]

You're welcome.

♪

- [snaps finger] - [gasps, whistles]

- The two mobs are teaming up. We're outnumbered.

- No problem. Ooh-ah!

Attack!

Come on, George, George, George, George, George, George.

- Okay.

all: Ah!

- George, George, George, George.

- We get it, dude.

- Amazing.

You dispatched the street th*gs and there is no damage at all.

- I'm sorry we got caught up in the competition, Bone Man.

- It was not your fault. It was mine, for calling you.

But you were true friends and did what I asked.

You brought no harm to my beautiful...

[unicorns squeaking, munching]

[dish shatters]

- Race you back home.

Winner is all-time champ of tomorrow, baby.

- What? Oh, come on.

- Uh, I must lose their phone numbers.

Oy vey.

[ominous music]

♪

- In honor of your obedient service

to the forces of evil...

- We bestow upon you

the most noble and dignified mark of...

the Foot Clan.

♪

[thump]

- [grunts]

Yes.

- It hurts so good.

both: [excited groans]

- Pure insanity. - Yes.

I can't believe they promoted Jocelyn over me.

I know her parents are big donors,

but come on.

- Why must I wait my time

watching your ridiculous ceremony?

I was promised the Dark Armor.

- And the Armor you shall have,

once we have retrieved it all.

- And once you've become a full member of the Foot Clan.

- Yes, the legends state that only those

who have proven their loyalty can wield the Armor's power.

- Then make me a member, immediately,

and I will restore the yokai's dominance over humans.

- Oh, sorry, boss,

there's a rising-through- the-ranks process,

and right now you're at... [humming]

Ranked zero.

- That's the worst.

- Why are my gargoyles telling me my rank?

- Because we got promoted from Toenail to Tenderfoot.

We're ranked two now.

- Hey, show me what I look like with a foot on my face.

[grunts] Oh, I look sweet.

- They outrank me?

Unacceptable. [groans]

[thump, rumbling]

- I know you think the irrational outbursts

will get you on our good side,

but there is still a process.

- Fine. What do I do to reach rank two?

What is this place?

Are we here to lay waste to these pathetic humans?

- No, we're here to get coffee for the entire Foot Clan.

And a vegan coconut scone for the boss.

- Draxum is no errand boy.

- To become a full member of the Foot,

one must show commitment and patience.

I have been in training since I was seven!

- Madness.

Baron Draxum takes what he needs now.

- Mm? [rumbling]

- [growls]

all: [screaming]

[dramatic music]

both: [scream]

♪

- [gasps] I have been doing this all wrong.

- Indeed.

[slurps]

Waiting is for fools.

I have completed your menial task.

Now, when do I get the Dark Armor?

- Ooh, I'm glad you asked.

We've got a retrieval mission tonight.

And thanks to your excellent performance,

other than these scones, which are a little stale,

we're putting you on Strike Squad Special Force Delta.

- [gasps] I was born for Strike Squad Special Force Delta.

I shall cleave out foes in twain.

- Okay, okay, love the enthusiasm,

but actually, your assignment is...

- Lookout support duty?

We're the lookouts for the lookouts?

- This is beneath us both.

- You know, I was accepted to every clan I applied to.

- With my powers, I should be in charge of this clan.

Surely there must be some way to take control from them.

- Hah! Unlikely.

According to our laws, one can only take control

of the Foot Clan by succeeding where the leaders have failed.

And my senseis do not fail.

- Hmm, we shall see.

[dramatic musical flourish]

- Our research says the armor piece

is hidden in one of these statues.

- I guess Draxum might get his wish soon,

if he can prove his worth.

[laughter]

- [grunts]

[whirring]

[ominous music]

♪

- What's going on there?

- Hai. I will alert the lookouts.

Caw! Caw!

- Stop that.

We want to improve our rank, we must handle this ourselves.

[upbeat music]

all: Smell it, smell it, smell it, smell it, smell it,

smell it.

- What are they doing?

- No doubt a cunning plan to disrupt our mission

to get the Dark Armor.

- What do you say, Raph? Do you have the guts

to sniff the stinkiest plant on Earth, the corpse flower?

- Some say it smells like a mummy wrapped in a zombie

dipped in long-forgotten milk.

- I'm gonna sniff it.

Like a boss!

[sniffs heartily]

[whimpers, gasps]

[retches] [vomit splatters]

- All right, he worfed.

Me next, me next, me next.

- This must be a trap.

But if there's one thing I've learned from you,

it's that we get nothing from waiting.

Foot Clan!

Vermin, prepare to taste my wrath.

- What? - Skewer!

[splatters]

[coughs, gasps] This was a trap.

- [chuckles] No, that was all you.

- Wow, she went all in on the stink.

Nice work, frenemy.

- Ah!

- Ah. Ah, ah!

Get away from me. Ew!

- [chuckles]

[suspenseful music]

So, our senseis never fail, eh?

We'll see about that.

[alarm blares]

- [gasps]

Listen up!

Botanical Gardens Security Force Alpha,

mobilize!

[heroic music]

[shovels swish, motor revs]

There's a horticultural emergency.

- An alarm? In a botanical garden?

- I'm sure our soldiers can handle a few groundskeepers.

all: [ululating]

♪

[motor revs]

- Get them!

[menacing music]

♪

- [groans]

- [grunts] - Ah!

♪

- I will grind you into fertilizer.

- The corpse flower.

- [whimpering]

- Protect the begonias. I'll go save Jewell.

[panting]

This is what you've been training for, Harold.

[screams]

- You will never stop us from collecting the Dark Armor.

- Whoa, hold on, Stinky Feet. That's what you're doing here?

[glass shatters] - [screams]

[grunts]

- [ululating] - Uh, yeah, guys,

I think that's the fight we should be focused on.

[grunting, panting]

[solemn music]

- [gasps] Jewell.

♪

[sniffs] No!

- Gah! - Were those the turtles?

Should we alert the Foot?

- Why? I mean, they'll see 'em in a sec.

- I love the way you think. We'll be rank three in no time.

[expl*si*n] [overlapping chatter]

- [grunts]

- Trust me, our rank is about to skyrocket.

[tense music]

- Tonfa Power Jitsu.

- Archimedes.

- Odachi b*mb.

- [grunts, groans]

I know you get nervous when I rush you,

but we've gotta hurry.

[whirring]

- Got it. It's in this one.

♪

- [chuckles]

- [panting, grunting]

You're gonna make it, Jewell.

Stay with me. Stay with me.

- [chuckles] Oh, she'll stay with you, all right.

[dramatic music]

♪

- What is that--ow!

[whimpering, groaning]

All right, well, this is one way.

[whimpering, groaning]

Okay, here we are.

[groans]

Gah!

- Ah! - Uh-oh.

- Jumping juniper.

I'm in full bloom!

- Hyah! all: [grunting]

- Smelly plant? Cool.

Smelly plant with legs? Not as cool.

- Get off the geraniums.

Let my people grow!

♪

- Blah, ew. Gross.

- Michael, what did we say about mystic flaming

highly vegetated areas? - Oh, right.

Ah.

- Oh. Not again.

Not again.

- Oh, no.

This is worse than Raph's "I found cheese

"in the bottom of my shell" stink.

- I said, "Keep off the grass." - Ugh.

This Stinkbomb guy is my favorite

and least favorite mutant all at once.

- [gagging]

Note to future self, equip Tech-Bo with nose plugs.

- [screams]

- Ew.

[disappointed chatter]

- My nose, oh, my precious nose.

[dramatic music]

♪

- Would you like to do the honors?

- Kali ma!

[siren blares at a distance]

[ominous music]

♪

- [grunts]

So, Draxum, we, uh-- we have some good news

about your potential in this organization.

- Oh, yeah, really good news.

- Silence.

I have accomplished with one assistant

what you couldn't accomplish with an entire clan.

- Assistant?

But I thought we were partners.

- Ah, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

By the laws of the Foot Clan,

I am now your leader.

[cheers and applause]

We strike again on Monday.

- Oh, Monday's a holiday. Can we strike again on Tuesday?

- [hisses] Ooh, you know, Baron's got a haircut

on Tuesday, and you know how they never get it right

on the first pass. - Yeah,

and then you go to Wednesday, you might as well write off

the rest of the week. - Enough.

Our plans will commence the following Monday

and I'll hear no more about it.

[upbeat music]

♪