06x26 - The Hurt Lockers/Love Stinks

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

- And that concludes our assembly on water safety.

Thank you for the demonstration, Meryl.

[hair rustles]

Oh, and one last bit of news.

You may have noticed the massive sinkhole

in the middle of the art hallway.

But don't worry, the area has been cleared,

and everybody's been accounted for.

[grunts]

- Yeah, it's fine.

Nobody worry about me.

Whoa! [thuds]

- While we patch it, Meryl will be directing traffic

away from the worksite.

[blows whistle]

Students with lockers in that area

will be relocated and paired up.

So if that's you, please come see me

for your new locker assignment.

[all gasp]

- You guys thinking what I'm thinking?

- That the sinkhole is actually an intergalactic portal

that the school is trying to cover up?

- Uh, no.

That we should try and convince Principal Ramirez

to let us share lockers.

- Great idea, Stella!

- I don't want you guys to fight over me.

- Love that! Let's go see her.

I've got a plan.

And in summary, letting us share lockers

will result in better Action News Team stories,

improved classroom productivity,

and a more streamlined lunch swap system.

I thank you.

- I got to say, I was initially unconvinced.

But by the ,th slide, you wore me down.

Okay, here's what I'll do.

I'll move a couple of people around,

and I think we can make it work.

- Whoo-hoo! Yes!

Victory is ours! [clears throat]

I mean, thank you for your time,

Principal Ramirez.

You will not regret this.

- And Rusty and I now have a state-of-the-art

security system.

Guys, come check it out.

This bad boy is souped up with voice recognition...

[clears throat] Open locker.

[lock beeps]

Retina detector...

[laser buzzes]

Fingerprint reader... [lock beeps]

And self-defense mode.

[machinery clanking]

- Whoa!

- That sure is impressive.

Now, come take a gander at what Stella and I

got in our locker.

What's a locker without a fine feathered friend?

[chicken clucks]

- Which gave me a great idea for my science project:

an egg collector!

[chicken clucks]

- Oh! - Oh!

- It doesn't get better than a locker-to-table breakfast.

- Did somebody say breakfast?

Because I made fresh-baked blueberry muffins.

Ah!

- I know what you're thinking.

It's a little messy.

But don't worry.

I'm gonna fix it right up.

Ta-da!

What do you think?

[chuckles nervously]

- I think I can't wait to tell Dr. Lopez about it.

- All right, off to the lockers.

- See you, Linc. - Catch you later.

- [panting]

-

- , , .

- Rusty, I just need my math textbook.

I'm already running late.

- Oh, would you relax?

I need to finish my daily brushes.

- What? ?

- You think looking this good just happens?

Now, where was I? Ugh.

You messed me up, Zach.

And now I gotta start over.

, , , , .

- Hey, Clyde.

Mind if I grab my gym clothes real quick?

- Actually, I just set down a pretty fickle souffle,

and it needs to rise.

Any locker disturbance might deflate it.

- Okay.

So when will it be ready?

- Not sure.

Only the souffle can tell us that.

- [sighs]

- Hey, Liam.

Mr. Budden asked me to alter the Glee Club outfits.

Have you seen my sewing needle?

- Uh, I think I saw it right before I set down

a bundle of hay for the coop.

[chicken clucks] - Ah!

[gasps] Literally finding a needle in a haystack.

Great.

- How many times are you gonna forget

your Latin homework, Rustman?

Oh, right. Open locker.

[alarm chimes]

- Whiny nasal voice not recognized.

- [grumbles]

[laser buzzes]

- Bloodshot retina scan not recognized.

- Ugh! [alarm chimes]

- Greasy fingerprint not recognized.

- Ugh!

Zach! Open locker!

Open locker!

- Self-defense mode activated.

- Uh-oh.

[laser zaps] [yelling]

I'm all right!

- [panting]

Gah!

Book report, book report.

Aha!

There you are.

Ah!

Oh, no.

Lincoln's magic hat!

[grunting]

Come on.

Charles, is that my book report?

[gasps] Get back here!

- [whistling]

Whoa.

Well, hot dog!

[chicken clucks]

Oh, what a bounty!

Let's get these here eggs all scooped up.

Doggone it, looks like a jam.

And not the kind you put on biscuits, neither.

Probably just needs a good jostle.

[machinery clanking]

Oops. Fire in the hole!

- Huh?

[sighs]

- Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

I don't think this locker-sharing thing

is working.

- But what can we do?

We're the ones who got ourselves into this mess.

- Wait... and we're the ones who can get us out.

I've got an idea.

[school bell rings]

, reasons why we should be allowed

to switch locker partners again,

because our current situation

is not working out.

- [coughs]

- Prologue. As a young child--

- Okay, okay.

I'll let you switch, but this is the last time.

Though it's going to take some very detailed planning.

Meryl, bring in the locker reassignment system.

[hair rustles]

[ba*ls clattering]

- Okay, kids. Pick a number.

All right. Thanks for playing, y'all!

[chuckles]

- Locker .

[gasps] Chandler?

- Well, well.

If it isn't Lincoln Lame.

You must be my new locker buddy.

Let's see if you last longer than my last one.

Still stuck like that, huh?

What's it been, three hours?

- Three days.

Ugh!

[gulps]

- Oh, sweet!

Guess I have this one all to myself.

- Incoming!

Welcome to the Lynnderdome.

Hope you don't mind a little sweat stink.

[gags]

- Chef Pat?

You have a locker here?

- Yeah, where else am I going to keep my meat

when the freezer is full?

Meh!

Help yourself to any open hooks.

- Ugh.

- Well, this is me. Huh?

Why is this locker so destroyed?

Ah!

[grunting]

Oh, that's why.

[growls]

Why does a mascot even need a locker?

Oof!

- [cackles]

- [rhythmically] You must be Liam!

My name is Jenna!

I'll be your partner!

Welcome to our locker!

Yeah! Our locker!

all: Go, locker buddies!

- That's mighty kind of you.

Well, this ain't so bad.

cheerleaders: [chanting] Put the books inside!

Put, put the books inside!

Now close the locker!

Close, close that locker!

Left foot, right foot.

We're walking! We're walking!

Okay! We're walking!

- Hey, a fellow cat person!

[cat meows]

- Oh, Andrew.

Still rocking that cat onesie.

That's, uh, cool.

At least you keep an organized locker.

- [hisses]

- Andrew, no! Bad kitty!

- [hisses]

- Ah! - [snarls]

- I know yesterday seemed bad, but today is a new day.

We got this.

- [rhythmically] Yeah, we got this.

We, we, we got this.

Oh, dang it.

Now them cheerleaders got me doing it.

- Good luck, everyone.

Be safe out there.

- I'm ready for you, Crikey.

Huh, guess Crikey learned not to mess

with the old Rustman--ugh!

- Oh, you okay?

Ooh, you want an ice pack?

I have one in my locker.

[splats]

- Ha, ha!

- She shoots, she scores!

- Duck!

all: Whoa!

- Whoa, whoa!

[all yelling]

[coughs]

- Whoa!

- Oh, wait!

Ah!

cheerleaders: Ready, okay!

Up in the air like birds in the sky, Liam and his friends

are flying high!

- Ugh!

[all groaning]

[floor creaking]

- We landed on the patched-up sinkhole!

Run!

[all crash]

- I was wrong.

[rhythmically] We don't got this.

We, we don't got this.

[all groan]

- [inhales deeply]

- I'm going to stop you before the words

", reasons" and "slideshow" come out of your mouth.

I can't change your lockers back.

Not only have I moved you twice,

but you reopened the sinkhole!

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I have to call the contractors again.

[dialing phone]

- I can't believe we're stuck with this terrible

locker situation.

- And for even longer now,

since they have to start the sinkhole repair

all over again.

- It's our own fault. When we were paired up,

we should have learned to work together and compromise.

[sighs]

- I might be able to help y'all out, sugar snaps.

There is one more empty locker in the school--

mine!

- But don't you need it for your stuff?

- No.

Everything I need is right up here.

See?

- Whoa! - You must have a strong neck.

- [laughs] I sure do, kitten!

Now, it's only one locker that y'all would have to share.

- I think we can make it work this time.

Right, everybody?

- , .

You know what?

I can skip the other .

Liam, you're up.

- Why thank you, Rust.

Here, here, Chick-chick.

[bell rings]

- Here, Clyde.

You can probably use this for your meringue.

- So thoughtful! Your turn, Lincoln.

- Guys, this is working perfectly!

[birds screeching]

- Intruder detected.

Laser mode engaged.

- Whoops!

Still working on our security system.

Run!

[both yelling]

[expl*si*n]

[sweeping pop music]

♪ ♪

[alarm ringing]

- Ah!

Finished.

And it only took three hours tonight.

A bedtime routine record!

Ugh.

[sniffs] Ugh, that's got to be Lana.

[sniffs] Ah!

Lilac spice makes everything nice.

[sighs contentedly]

[sniffs]

[screams]

- What happened?

[yelling]

[skunk snoring]

[sighs] Yeesh, Lols.

You scared me.

I thought it was an emergency.

- There is a skunk on my Egyptian cotton sheets!

I cannot imagine a bigger emergency!

- That's just Anne.

She caught a cold in the park where she lives, and I figured,

why not let her bunk with us till she feels better?

- Ugh. Fine.

Just keep her away from my stuff.

Skunks are so gross.

- It'll only be for a little bit.

You won't even know she's here.

[skunk sneezes]

[chuckles nervously]

[yawns]

- Oh, come on, Anne!

You gotta drink this sausage slop smoothie

to get your strength up.

- Blech!

- Here, watch.

Mmm.

You don't know what you're missing.

- [gags]

[laptop ringing]

- Hey, Lana.

One of my sows is birthing a jumbo litter of piglets.

They're popping out faster than Mee Maw running

barefoot on hot cement.

Grab your mitt. I need me a catcher.

Oof! [piglet squealing]

- Do me a solid and watch Anne?

- [laughing]

Oh, you're serious.

- Please?

I'll up my bathing to twice a month.

- And use deodorant?

- Sure.

- Ugh.

Okay.

- Yeah!

Liam, I'm on my way.

- [whimpering]

- [sighs]

I guess you can have some.

[gulps]

- You like that, huh?

Well, hurry up and finish.

I've got places to go and people to see.

You'll just have to tag along.

I might be a while, so uh, run along and do

whatever it is skunks do.

- Is that the Lola Loud?

- Miguel, darling.

Just who I was looking for.

The Little Miss Room Freshener Pageant is coming up,

and I thought, what a great opportunity

to change my signature scent.

- We actually just restocked a bunch of perfumes

that are a lot like you:

sassy with a spritz of heart.

- Hey! - Ah!

- My scarf!

- Relax, Miguel.

She's with me. Anne!

- Whoa! - Drop the scarf!

[loud crash]

If you're gonna spend the day with me,

we might as well try and do something about your smell.

Ooh, Feisty Freesia.

You have decent taste for a skunk.

We'll take two, Miguel.

[sweeping pop music]

♪ ♪

- Fabulous!

Daddy, be a doll and bring our bags in for us.

We are exhausted from shopping.

Please and thanks!

- Sure thing, honey.

Wait, was that a skunk?

[bags creaking, crashing]

- Ugh, being fabulous is a lot of work.

[yawns] I need a beauty nap.

Ahem. What are you doing?

You're fabulous, too.

So get up here, girl!

So you should know, Auntie Lola is rarely wrong.

But I totally misjudged you.

Skunks are supposed to be all smelly and gross.

But you're sweet and elegant, like moi.

That's French for me.

- Moi!

- Speaking of which:

Anne is an okay name, but what about something more elegant?

Like, um, Antoinette.

It's settled, then.

Sleep well, Antoinette.

- [sighs contentedly]

- Psst. Lols.

- Ah!

- Sorry.

I was just trying to wake you up,

then I noticed you had a bat in the cave.

I'm happy to see you and Anne getting along,

but it's time to release her back into the wild.

- What?

- [yawns]

- I mean, why would you do that?

- Because she's feeling better.

- Oh, no. Absolutely not.

We've done some serious bonding today,

and I want to keep her around, so...

- It's for her own good, Lols.

Skunks need fresh air and a balanced diet.

If it's too tough for you, I can handle the release.

- No! I can do it.

I'll take her back to the park before school tomorrow.

- Oh, I knew you'd understand.

- [sighs]

Well, here we are.

Home sweet home.

I got you a little something to, uh, remember me by.

- [murmuring sadly]

- Antoinette, that's a designer bag!

Take it and go!

- [whimpers]

[melancholy music]

♪ ♪

- Ugh, I can't do this!

[laughs] okay, okay.

But if I'm going to keep you, Lana can't know about it.

So no going back to the house.

We're gonna have to get creative.

[school bell rings]

[stealthy music]

♪ ♪

I'll be back after class.

Ugh.

And I'll run home later and grab some

of your scented toiletries.

[chitters]

Okay, I'll get more oat milk, too.

- Ready for math?

- Lana!

You scared me.

- Oh, my bad.

Hey, can I leave my pocket dirt in your locker?

Mine's already full, and the dirt is heavy today.

- No! I mean, no.

I'll help you carry it.

- [whistling]

- Hmm.

- [slurping]

- Time for lunch, Antoinette.

I hope you like tempura, because that's

my usual Monday go-to.

Antoinette?

No! No, no, no!

Antoinette!

- Ahem.

Everything okay, Miss Loud?

- Fine. Totally, perfectly fine.

- Well, please be more careful where you throw things.

[chewing]

Mmm.

- Oh, where are you, Antoinette?

- I know, right? Whoa!

- Antoinette?

Antoinette? Antoinette?

- President Lincoln turned to the crowd and valiantly said--

[sniffs] Crud on a cr*cker, it reeks in here!

- Ew, what's that smell?

I think it's coming from the vents!

- Mr. Sayers, I vote that we hold the rest

of class in the hallway.

- Good idea, Lola.

Let's move out.

[tense music]

- Ugh!

[gulps]

[gasps]

[mice squeaking, hissing]

- [laughs nervously]

- Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

- Yeah, all right!

- Go get it!

- Run the AC full blast, Cheryl.

We're going to knock that smell out.

- No, no!

Not the AC! [yelling]

[air whooshing]

[grunts] Lana?

- I knew it!

The weird smell, the way you've been acting.

You brought Anne here instead of the park, didn't you?

- Uh, it's Antoinette.

And no, I just love crawling around in air vents.

It helps me get my steps in.

[sighs] okay.

Yes, I did.

- Lola, how could you?

- I've never felt this way about a friend before.

We have so much in common.

It's like she's a stinkier mini-me.

Lana, I can't let her go.

Now, are you gonna help me find her or not?

- Fine. But I'm the animal expert.

So if we're gonna find her, you'll need to follow my lead.

- Found her!

- [whimpering]

- Ah!

You had Auntie Lola worried sick.

[vents creaking]

- Do you guys hear something?

[metal groans]

- Skunk, y'all!

[crowd screaming]

- Stop! You're scaring her!

all: Ew!

- [coughs]

I'm calling animal control!

- No!

Please don't call animal control.

I'll take the skunk back to where she belongs.

- Wait, you're responsible for this?

I had my money on Lana.

- Oh! - No.

I brought Antoinette to school because I couldn't bear

to part with her.

But you were right, Lana.

She needs to be in the wild.

I was being selfish.

- Nah, you just got attached.

I get it.

I've had to release lots of furry friends in my day.

But don't worry, you two can still hang out.

[upbeat jazz music]

- [chitters]

- Here.

Just because you're back in the wild

doesn't mean you can't take care of yourself.

[pigs clamoring]

- Get back here, little piggies!

It's bottle-feeding time!

- Oh, our own personal mud masks.

[both laugh]

Nature is classier than I thought.

- [squeaks]

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪