07x15 - Bye, Tanya/What Lies Beneath

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push, and shove ♪

♪ That's how we show our love ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house, in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls ♪

- ♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud, Loud, Loud ♪

♪ Loud house ♪

- Poo-poo.

[energetic pop-punk music]

♪ ♪

[door opens] - Morning, fam!

- Attention, everyone!

It's manager extraordinaire and fashion icon, Leni Loud!

She dazzles in a chic--

- Like I said yesterday,

it's too early for this, Miguel.

- Look what I brought!

Ta-da!

both: Ooh!

- They're "fuffins."

Like muffins, but fun.

both: Ooh!

- [gasps] Hi, Tanya.

I can't wait to hear about your date with Bradley

from the sports department!

[gasps] Ooh, it was a tennis date?

Love that for you!

both: Mm, mm, mm!

- Leni, you are the best.

- Couldn't have said it better myself, Fiona.

Oh, I just love my Reininger's family.

[chuckles and sighs]

Sometimes more than my own.

All right, team!

Time for pre-opening announcements.

First things first, I want to freshen up the store.

So get ready for some big changes around here.

- [gasps] Are we finally addressing

the employee break room smell?

I have some theories.

- No.

- Hmm.

Suspect number two suspiciously changes the subject.

Will monitor.

- I want to start with the mannequins.

The store's current stock are...

Well, that just about says it all.

I think it's time we retire them.

[both gasp and groan]

- [squeals] Tanya is going to love retirement!

She totes deserves it. Oh, I hope she goes to Florida!

I can visit her on my spring break!

- Leni, I think Ms. Carmichael

meant that she is getting rid of the old mannequins,

including Tanya.

- [gasps] You can't just get rid of her!

Sure, she's a little quiet and sometimes her limbs fall off,

but she's my friend.

- Sorry, Leni.

I know you've formed an attachment,

but it's just a mannequin. [phone ringing]

Well, the movers are here to take away

the old mannequins right now.

- I'm sorry, Leni.

Hey, maybe you'll meet a new Tanya.

- I don't want a new Tanya. I have a Tanya!

We have to save her.

It's like, Miguel, imagine if Ms. C wanted to throw away

your favorite Italian leather belt.

- [gasps] Beltissimo?

Over my dead but still very moisturized body.

Okay, I am in.

- Eh, why not?

[soft upbeat music]

all: Save Tanya!

[energetic musical flourish]

[quirky suspenseful music]

- Hey, Tone. You take athleisurewear.

I'm gonna head over to the juniors section.

- Roger that.

♪ ♪

- Wow. Ms. C says she wants to update this place,

but we're still selling tie-dye?

[scoffs] Blech.

- We have to get Tanya out of the store.

Gavin said we could hide her in the deep freezer

at Spaghetti on a Stick.

- [grunts] Coast is clear. Let's move.

[loud crash] - Oh, dang it!

- Hmm?

[gasps]

Oh, for the love of vegan leather.

Ms. C must have locked the doors

while the movers were here.

We'll just have to hide Tanya in the store.

- Don't worry, Tanya. It's going to be okay.

- How can I help you today, ma'am?

See any styles you like?

Whew.

[gasps]

[Leni gasps] - Excuse me.

I think you dropped this.

- Thank you!

I would totes lose my head

if it wasn't attached to my very human body.

- Huh. Well, all right.

Have a lovely day, miss.

- [sighs]

[gasps]

- Whoo, looks like this area's all clear of mannequins.

[suspenseful music]

- [gasps] Whoa.

You see the deals they got on tie-dye?

♪ ♪

- Phew.

- Uh, you're right, Tone. I know. I got too many.

[all sigh in relief]

- Okay, the coast is clear.

[quirky suspenseful music]

- Okay, Paulie. Just doing one last sweep in accessories.

- [nervous whimper]

[grunts] Um, have you seen your crow's feet?

You're gonna need powder, concealer, and a miracle.

But relax. I am that miracle.

[relieved sigh]

- We're still missing one mannequin on the list.

I checked the whole store. Nothing.

- Oh, well. We got a schedule to stick to.

Let's get moving.

Oh, uh, by the way, something's different about you, Tone.

Your complexion. It's glowing.

- Yep. Bye-bye, bird's feet!

[both squeal excitedly]

- Miguel! Fiona! Great news!

- Yeah, we just heard! Tanya is safe!

- Totes!

I put her in the driver's seat of a truck outside the store

and told her to drive home fast.

- Leni, no!

- OM-gosh, you're right! What was I thinking?

Tanya doesn't know how to drive stick.

- Leni, that's the movers' truck.

They're on their way back there right now.

We have to hurry!

♪ ♪

- Hey, genius. You put this one in the front seat.

- Huh? It wasn't me!

Always busting chops.

[panicked panting]

- We're too late!

- Oh, no, we're not.

If we leave work now and follow that truck,

we'll be back before Ms. C even notices.

What do you say? Who's in?

- Sweetie, you had me at "leave work now."

[all gasp]

- Tanya!

Looks like we'll need a way to get inside.

Hmm.

[gasps] I have an idea.

♪ ♪

- Hey, I don't remember these mannequins from the store.

- Well, they're definitely old.

Check out this outdated hair. Is that gel?

[Pauly chuckles]

- Oh, well. Let's get them inside.

♪ ♪

- Boy, it's not just the hair. It's the whole outfit.

Talk about a hot mess express.

- [laughs] Yeah.

What's with this garage sale belt?

- [enraged growl]

First of all, Beltissimo is Italian leather!

Secondly, this is a French pomade!

And I refuse to be called a "hot mess express"

by someone who dresses like that!

- Nice job, Miguel. Run!

- Hey, stop!

You're not allowed to be in here!

[quirky energetic music]

- Whoa!

[henchmen grunting] - Whoa!

- Go.

- [panting] Okay, when did they turn

into unfashionable ninjas?

- You guys, over here!

- Huh?

Hey, where'd they go?

- Over there!

Gotcha!

[henchmen gasp]

Eh, they're around here somewhere!

Let's try down there!

[suspenseful music]

- Okay. That could have been bad.

- Could have been?

I got stuck with the mannequin wearing tie-dye!

[phone ringing] - [gasps] It's Ms. Carmichael!

I'll just call her back later.

[phone ringing]

- Ah! Sorry, Ms. C. Turn off phone.

Watch out, Leni. She's probably gonna--

- Hello? Oh, hi, Ms. Carmichael.

[gasps] Ms. Carmichael?

- Leni, where are the three of you?

The post-lunch rush is about to start.

- [sighs] Ms. C, I can explain.

We left the store to rescue Tanya and bring her back.

- Uh, rescue Tanya? Tanya the mannequin? What?

Listen, if the three of you are not back at this store ASAP,

you will all be fired.

- Don't be mad at Miguel and Fiona.

This was all my idea. But you said it yourself.

We're a family at Reininger's.

And nowhere does it say that mannequins are excluded.

Tanya's like the sister I never had.

- Uh, Leni, you have nine sisters.

- You know what I mean.

Fire me if you have to, but I have to save my friend.

[phone beeps]

[Leni groans]

You guys need to go back.

You can't lose your jobs because of me.

- As if!

- Yeah, no mannequin left behind.

- You guys are the best. Now let's find Tanya.

Wait, what room is this?

- "Recycle center."

[machine crunching]

[Leni gasps]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[all gasping]

- Guess it's game, set, match for tennis guy.

- We have to find Tanya, fast!

♪ ♪

Tanya, where are you?

Ooh, that top is so cute.

- Tanya? Can you hear us?

Oh, what am I saying? She's a mannequin.

- Wait! There she is!

Ah!

♪ ♪

[gasps] Tanya!

Take my hand!

[Leni straining]

[Leni gasps]

No! Tanya!

♪ ♪

- I can't look!

[loud whirring]

[machine powering down] [all gasping]

- But how?

Ms. Carmichael?

I guess you wanted to fire me in person, huh?

- No, Leni.

I'm actually here to tell you that you were right.

- Wait, what?

- We are a family.

And if you care this much about Tanya,

that means she's family, too.

- Really? Does that mean Tanya can stay?

- As long as she wants.

[both cheering]

- Does that mean Beltissimo's family, too?

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

[soft upbeat music]

- I'm so glad you're back safe, Tanya.

- Sorry you have to wear tie-dye, though.

- I don't know. It's grown on me.

Turns out if you cinch it with Beltissimo,

it can be a real statement piece.

[door slams open] - Where's pompadour boy?

[Miguel whimpers] There he is.

- If this is about breaking into the warehouse,

I can explain.

- No, not at all.

You have to give me the same makeover you gave Tony.

Look at these bird's feet.

- Sir, don't you worry. The miracle worker is in.

♪ ♪

[both giggle]

[dramatic spooky music]

♪ ♪

[wolf howls]

[thunder crashes]

[grunting]

[suspenseful music]

[thunder crashes]

♪ ♪

[Virgil meows] - Shh!

This is our little secret, Virgil.

[mouth zips softly]

♪ ♪

[thunder crashing]

- Thanks for your help

with all my groundskeeping duties, kids.

Now don't forget

make sure each and every resident gets some TLC.

- Haiku, Caroline doesn't like mums.

She's a lilac girl.

- Thank you, Lucy. I almost made a grave mistake.

- Ha-ha. Ha-ha. - Ha-ha. Ha-ha.

[energetic rock music]

- Hang on, Virgil!

I'm gonna pop a wheelie!

[engine revving]

- Stop hogging the mower, Dante!

Gah!

Worst sharer ever.

- Whoo-hoo! - Ugh.

[sighs]

[playing spooky tune]

- Boris is jamming on the keys. Any requests from the dead?

Ah! [grunts]

- Are you okay, Boris?

- Boris will live.

Sadly.

Oh, I've never noticed that headstone before.

- Mm, neither have I. Hank, who's "Unknown"?

- You got me.

I know every inch of this graveyard,

and I don't remember that grave being here.

- [gulps] Well, people do kick the bucket all the time.

So--

- How tragic that someone would pass

and remain nameless for eternity?

- As the Morticians Club,

it's our duty to right such ghastly wrongs.

I say we hold a séance to find out who rests here,

then replace this headstone with one with their name.

- No!

I don't think we should disturb their eternal slumber.

You know how hard it is to go back to sleep

when somebody wakes you up.

- A valid point, Dante.

- Whew.

- Boris can play him some nice, soothing bedtime music.

[playing spooky tune]

- [groans]

- Great idea, Boris. All those in favor?

- Very. - Yes.

- Let the record show that the motion passes

with much enthusiasm.

[soft spooky upbeat music]

- They can't know what's buried under that headstone.

We got to stop them!

- Unknown spirit buried within this grave,

we beseech thee, come to us.

[spooky suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- [ghostly moaning]

- [gasps]

♪ ♪

- [ghostly moaning] - The spirit is within Dante.

Please tell us your name

so we may honor you with a new gravestone.

- My name is...

urn...

knee...

shovel...

gate.

Ernie Shovelgate.

It's nice of you kids to want to get me a new headstone,

but don't go to all that trouble.

I'm really shy, so "Unknown" totally works for me.

Okay, well, I got to get back to the other side.

Blech!

[voice cracking] Wow!

I guess Ernie doesn't want a new headstone.

Bummer. But what can you do?

That's a rhetorical question.

- You know, whenever it's my mother's birthday,

she says don't go to all that trouble.

Which means you'd better go to all that trouble.

- That's a good point, Haiku.

[Dante gasps]

- What if Ernie's just being modest?

I say we buy him the headstone anyway.

After he sees it, I'll bet he rolls over in his grave.

In a happy way.

[upbeat spooky music]

[Dante groans]

[oohing and aahing] - Wow.

- Okay, everyone.

I know the Cheaper Reaper is a veritable wonderland

of bereavement in bulk, but we need to remain focused.

Persephone, do you have the club money?

- I do.

And thanks to our embalming fundraiser last weekend,

it looks like we have enough

to buy Ernie a most splendid tribute.

- Whatever we do,

we cannot let them leave here with a headstone.

"You break it, you buy it."

[gasps] Virgil, that's it!

[Virgil meows] You're one smart cemetery cat.

- I say we really splurge and go with granite.

- I agree.

- It has a nice hand feel.

- I'll grab it.

- I'll get one down. I've been doing deadlifts.

[grunting]

- Dante, there's one right here on the bottom shelf.

- But everybody knows the fresh ones are always on top.

Oh, oops! - Gasp.

[Boris grunts]

[Dante groans]

[Virgil meows]

[all gasp]

[Boris groans] - Virgil, what did you do?

[spooky music]

Aw, dang it.

Now that we've paid for the broken headstone,

we don't have enough money left over for another one.

- Actually, we do,

thanks to our hearse wash fundraiser

the weekend before last.

[Dante groans] [Virgil meows]

[coffin creaking]

[shoppers gasping]

♪ ♪

- What is up with you today, Virgil?

- Exorcize yourself of guilt, Virgil.

It was a mere accident.

But it does mean our hopes for a new headstone

have been laid to rest.

- [sighs] Sigh.

I can't believe we failed Ernie.

- Me neither. But what else can we do?

I mean, it's not like we can just go to a rock quarry,

find a slab of granite, and carve our own headstone.

- Gasp. That's exactly what we should do.

The rock quarry is not far from here,

and it has lots of granite.

- Ernie shall have his headstone after all.

Three cheers for Dante.

all: Hurray. Hurray. Hurray.

- Hurray.

- To the quarry, everyone.

- Uh, hey, you guys.

While you're all doing that,

Virgil and I are gonna go back to the cemetery

so we can, uh, give Ernie the good news about his headstone.

Okay, bye.

[suspenseful music]

- Mm.

- The whole cemetery, and this is where Hank eats his lunch?

We're running out of time.

We got to get him out of here, and fast.

♪ ♪

The sprinklers will make him move.

[valve creaking]

[Virgil hisses]

Okay, wrong one.

♪ ♪

Ah!

Okay. It's got to be this last one.

♪ ♪

[Dante gasps]

[Dante screams]

[groans]

Is this the only spot in the graveyard that gets watered?

♪ ♪

Nothing to end lunch early like a swarm of bats!

[Virgil yowls]

[bats screeching]

[dramatic music]

- Aw, how were my widdle bat babies, huh?

Who's ready for some of old Hanky's homemade oatmeal bars?

[bats screeching]

- Huh? [groans]

This can't get any worse.

[phone rings]

[Boris muttering]

- Uh, hey, Lucy.

- Greetings, Dante. We'll be there shortly.

- Oh, uh, great.

You know, I was just talking to Ernie,

and he said since you're making the headstone,

if you could add his favorite poem,

"The Raven" by Edgar Allen Poe.

- An excellent choice. Which line?

- All of them.

In Latin.

And cursive.

With footnotes.

[beep] Hopefully that'll stall them.

- Want the stick?

Go get it!

[grunts]

[bats screeching]

[Dante groans]

[energetic rock music]

[engine turns over]

♪ ♪

[Hank yelps]

- I'll bet that's Big Lou from plot three, row .

That ghost is always messing with my stuff.

Hey, Lou! No joyrides!

[Dante grunts]

- What are you doing with Ernie?

- [startled gasp]

[all gasp] - It's not Ernie Shovelgate.

- It's... - Auntie Pam?

all: Gasp.

[spooky notes]

- You buried Auntie Pam's ice cream?

[Dante whimpers]

- So Ernie wasn't real?

[Virgil meows]

- But why, Dante? Why did you deceive us?

[somber music]

[Virgil meows]

- Because, because I wanted to hide my ice cream

so none of you could have any.

It's cookies 'n' scream, my all-time favorite.

- Ugh! It's the riding lawn mower all over again.

I've said it before, and I'll say it once more.

Worst sharer ever.

- You said it. - Sad but true.

- Sigh. I know.

I'm really sorry.

But I'll try to be better, I swear.

As a matter of fact,

uh...

who wants some?

[Dante growls]

[exhales deeply] You can do it, Dante.

Who wants some of my ice cream?

- Mm. Yes, please.

- Mm, it looks dreadfully delicious.

- Oh! [all munching]

- This shows real progress, Dante.

[Virgil purring]

[Hank screaming] - Help! Help!

[Dante chuckles uncomfortably] - Uh, what's that all about?

- It's a long story.

We should probably go help him.

After a couple scoops.

Mm.

- Big Lou, cut it out!

- ♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ - ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Laundry piles stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪