08x05 - Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind - Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls like ping pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles ♪

♪ Diapers you can smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push and shove that's how we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House In the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy, ten girls ♪

♪ Wouldn't trade it for the world ♪

♪ Loud House Loud, Loud House ♪

Poo-poo.

[creepy music playing]

[bird squawking]

[wind whooshes]

[Lincoln] Attention all crew,

get to an evacuation pod!

As for me, I'm going down with the Andromeda.

It's crew before commander on this ship.

Brace for impact! [grunts]

Ahh! [groans]

Don't worry, I'm not really dead.

Tonight is Halloween

and I'm just getting into character.

I'm going as Commander Nick Fox.

He's the star of an old sci-fi movie

that me and my friends are obsessed with.

Planet Protection Patrol or as we call it, "Triple P"!

[heroic music playing]

It's about a group of space soldiers

who protect the Earth from evil aliens.

We're each going as a member from the crew.

I picked the Commander because we're a lot alike.

Handsome, daring, ready for anything.

-Whoa! [groans] -Apologies, Lincoln,

but we need you to test out the haunted house.

[Lincoln] Be right there.

[quirky music playing]

Whoa!

Fog! Ooh, aah! Spiders!

Ooh, so spooky!

I sure hope someone doesn't jump out.

Welcome to the Loud House of Horror, toots!

Ah! A giant, demented Mr. Coconuts!

Didn't see that coming!

[cackles]

And what's that behind me?

-Oh, no! -[hisses]

Human-sized cats? Terrifying!

-Ahh! -Want brains, brah!

[fake scream] Ahh, not zombies!

Oh, no! The pain!

-Say cheese! -[camera shutter clicks]

Do you want your free souvenir pic?

Everyone who goes through the haunted house gets one!

Ugh. This is ghastly.

Lincoln wasn't scared at all.

Yes, I was. I'm still shaking in my commander boots.

Lincoln, you're literally yawning in the photo.

'Cause I was so tired of being scared!

Okay, you're right. It's just...

you always do the fog-up-the-stairs thing,

and Luan was Mr. Coconuts three years ago.

And you two are always black cats.

It's just... I've seen it all before.

We need to make some spooky adjustments and fast.

We can't be anything less than terrifying.

-I won't stand for it. -Mm-hmm.

Hey! What up, Halloween team?

Anyone want a witch finger cookie?

And why are you so calm?

Usually, on Halloween,

you're barricaded in the bathroom by now.

Well, I think it's because I get to be

by your mom all night.

Whoa! [sighs]

I wanted to go with last year's undead bride and groom.

-[camera shutter clicks] - ♪ Duh, duh-duh-duh ♪

Oh, this is way better!

Left foot, right foot, middle foot.

See? It's working for us!

Honey, you're crushing my toes.

[groaning]

[howls]

[grunts]

We got our biggest haul ever.

Look at all this candy!

But not too closely, it's mine!

People loved my costume. [giggles]

And mine! [buzzes]

Unfortunately, the terrifying nature of mycostume

was lost on our Philistine neighbors.

[sighs]

Hello! I'm sodium bicarbonate.

If I lose an ion,

look out, Sally!

[Clyde] Hey, Lincoln!

-We're here! -Coming!

Mom, Dad, can I trick-or-treat with my friends for a bit?

I promise I'll be home by : to help with the haunted house.

-You bet! -Of course!

-[door opens] -Greetings, my trusty crew!

[grunts]

Dr. Mucus! I need you to analyze this planet's soil samples.

On it, Commander!

Hmm. Surprisingly warm.

-Ew! -Ew! That's dog doo!

[grunts] Tech Sergeant Cronk, what's the status on our engine?

Let me run some diagnostics.

Beep-boop-bop-beep-boop.

Firing all cylinders, Commander!

Are they aware people can see them?

Trunk, safety check the perimeters.

Aye aye, Commander! [grunting]

Oh, shoulda gone with something lighter,

like balsa wood.

This sugar maple is doin' a number on my back.

[deep inhale, exhale]

[deep inhale, exhale]

Deputy Dream Dude...

What's your job again?

Duh. I'm the ship's stud muffin.

-[grunts] -[car horn honks]

Have fun, Zach!

We're off to the movies.

See you when all this nonsense is over.

Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!

They're not really into Halloween.

They think it's a conspiracy by Big Candy.

Okay, then.

Lieutenant Blorb, you brought the gear?

Oh, yeah! Check it out!

[Zach] Realalien fighting equipment.

Just like The Planet Protection Patrol.

[Rusty] Dude, is this a joke?

We're supposed to be space soldiers,

not whipping up a bundt cake.

Oh, ah! Be careful with that!

All of this stuff works, Rusty!

My parents built everything themselves.

They also made me swear I wouldn't turn anything on.

This is all just for looks.

Not that we need it,

'cause we looked pretty amazing already.

That's for sure.

Triple P!

[heroic music playing]

[Lynn] Yikes!

Do you guys want me

to come with you for protection?

Huh? What do you mean?

You look like a magnet for bullies.

No offense. Especially Clyde.

-No offense. -None taken.

As a member of the Huey Huey species,

I have a way of flushing out negative comments.

[gobbling]

You're really driving my point home.

Uh, I think we'll be just fine.

I don't think anyone's gonna want to mess with this!

[grunts]

[pops, hisses]

[gasps, laughs nervously]

[all laughing]

Ignore them, guys. Let's ride.

I've charted a course

for the best candy spots in town!

[bike bell dings]

Triple P, away!

[all laughing]

[gasps]

Uh-oh. I lost a hydrogen.

Stay back!

-[expl*si*n] -[Dad] Ow.

Engaging warp drive.

Beep-boop-boopity-boop!

Easy, Deputy.

Your vehicle doesn't have that function.

I installed it, okay?

[doorbell dings]

[all] Trick or treat!

[triumphant music playing]

[lively music playing]

Commander's log. Fifteen minutes into our mission

and candy extractions are going well,

aside from this box of raisins.

[grunting, panting]

[grunts] Whew!

-Boo! -Ah! [groans]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

[all whimpering]

[foreboding music playing]

[laughing]

Chandler? Trent?

-[laughing] -Oh, man!

You should have seen all your faces!

[imitating whimpering]

[laughs]

Oh, leave us alone!

And take your bad breath somewhere else!

Hmph!

What's this dumb-looking thing?

Oh, no, no, no!

Don't touch that, Chandler!

It's a real cosmic communicator!

Guess I shouldn't do this, then.

-[warbles] -Earth to aliens!

We've got some space geeks here who are dying to meet you.

Why don't you come down so you can all have

an intergalactic dork party?

-Glory-glork. -[grunts]

I said, don't touch that!

There are millions of people in costumes tonight,

but somehow, yours are the dumbest!

-Ah! -[laughing] Yeah.

Check out McBride. He's a squid!

I am not a squid!

I'm Dr. Thelonius Mucus.

Chief science officer of the Starship Andromeda.

But warning, if threatened,

I will deploy my tentacles!

[grunts] Ow!

[laughing]

Give us back our equipment!

You don't know what you're doing!

Here! Go make an omelet with it!

-[laughing] -[grunts, groans]

Forget them, crew.

It doesn't matter what they think.

And you can't expect their small minds

to appreciate the brilliance of Triple P.

Yeah! Keep walking, chumps!

-[Chandler] What was that? -Nothing.

Okay. On to Cheryl and Meryl's!

[electricity crackling]

[whooshing]

[both] Huh?

[screaming]

[wolf howling]

Here we are.

Last year, Cheryl and Meryl

let us take a whole handful of candy.

[doorbell dings]

It's open.

Maybe Cheryl and Meryl are giving out candy inside?

Hello?

[electricity crackling]

[Lincoln] Hello?

Commander's log.

We've entered the far reaches

of the Farrell condo in search of candy.

No signs yet of intelligent life.

[Liam] Well, they must be ‘round here somewhere.

These dinners here are still warm.

Gross. What is that?

Looks like lemon gelatin to me.

That's good eatin'!

[Rusty] Andromedacrew, assemble!

I've hit the mother lode!

[all] Ooh!

Hmm.

Everything okay, Commander?

It's probably nothing,

but why would they leave the door open

and the candy out like this?

It's kind of weird.

Maybe they're just on the honor system?

Well, I'd be honored to take their candy.

Hmm.

I guess there's nothing to worry about.

Let's move out, Triple P!

Time to hit up Flip's.

This is the one night of the year

he gives away anything for free.

[munches, slurps]

[Zach] Hey, uh, Trunk, you coming or not?

[grunts, groans]

Dang, that's some hearty gelatin.

I gotta get their recipe.

[squelches]

Huh?

[humming]

Lisa's friend Darcy is walking up,

let's look alive.

Uh, strike that... look dead.

Scaring a five-year-old?

At least this, we should be able to pull off.

[gasps]

Luan, wait.

[groans]

-That's better. -[groans]

Trick or treat!

I'm D- arrr-cy. [giggles]

Enter the Loud House of Horrors...

if you dare!

Cool fake blood.

[grunting]

[gasps] Huh?

[chuckles nervously, sighs]

Oh. [giggles]

[gasps, giggles]

That tickles.

Ugh. Be more scared!

Roar!

-Ah! -Demon bird! [groans]

-[giggles] -[camera shutter clicks]

-[whirs] -[both] Huh?

That was so fun!

Can I do it again?

Disappointed sigh.

This might be our worst Halloween ever.

[owl hoots]

[wolf howling]

[wind whooshes]

[buzzing]

[fly shrieks]

All right, Nacho. Almost there.

[grunting]

-[loud thud] -[both coughing]

Oh! Hot taquitos!

Didn't I tell ya I had a butt load of candy

in the crawl space?

I got it for pennies on the dollar

'cause technically, it's from World w*r II.

Hey, you want a piece?

Mm.

-[grunts] -[whooshes]

[thuds, cracks]

[thuds]

Look at that. Still good.

[grunts]

[chitters]

Yeah, yeah. Go have fun

trick-or-treatin' with your pals.

But stay away from that shifty possum,

he's a bad influence.

[spiders chitter]

-[electricity crackles] -[gasps]

[electricity crackling]

Hm.

[door creaking]

-[slams] -[electricity crackles]

[Flip] Okay, Nacho. What'd you forget?

[wind whooshes]

-[slams] -[gasps]

Nacho? [gasps]

Hello? Who-- who's there?

-[bottle clinks] -[gasps]

You-- you can take anything!

From the clearance shelf!

[electricity crackles]

[beeping]

[gasps]

-[growling] -[static]

-[electricity crackling] -[growling]

[crackling]

[sing-song] ♪ Trick or treat, smell my feet ♪

♪ Give me something good to eat ♪

You like that one, Lieutenant Blorb?

Come on! It's a classic.

Yoo-hoo, Flip! Where you at?

-[watch beeps] -Commander's log.

There are oddly no signs of life here either.

I'm raising our official alert level to orange.

Eyes on the prize, Fox.

We've got candy to find.

No, the commander is right.

It's not like Flip

to leave any of his merchandise unattended.

Huh? Woo-hoo! Jackpot!

[all] Candy!

-[Zach] Loot up, guys! -[Rusty] What a haul!

[all grunting]

[slurps]

[shatters]

[spits]

Yup, that's expired.

[muttering, grunts]

[spits]

Dude! Free flippees!

My commander senses are tingling.

Hmm. Something feels off.

I bet this is just Flip playing a Halloween prank.

Okay, Flip.

You can come out now.

Whoa!

Oh, Flip!

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Whoa! Ooh!

[Rusty] Ew! I slipped on Flip snot!

-Uh... -Oh!

Ugh, gross!

Your name isDoctor Mucus.

[laughs]

[gasps] That's Huey Huey for intelligent,

you unevolved Earthling!

-[watch beeps] -Oh, it's almost :!

I need to head home soon.

We should get a move on

if you want to hit one more house.

Ah! Get away from me!

[giggles]

Is that...

Trent?

Don't make eye contact.

[brake screeches]

[Stella] Clyde, what are you doing?

I know he's a jerk, but what if he needs help?

The Huey Huey are a compassionate people

and I'm trying to embody my character.

Respect, Mucus.

[sighs]

[Clyde] What's going on?

Hey, have you guys seen Chandler?

-Thankfully not. -Weird.

He went to go take a whiz in that bush over there

and he never came back.

If you run into him,

tell him to hit me on my cell.

Commander's log. The crew's encountered

another potential missing person.

-[bird squawking] -Mm.

[wind whooshing]

Mm? [gulps]

And I officially have a bad feeling about tonight.

Halloween will do that, dawg.

Your brain is just playing tricks on ya.

[cackling in distance]

[all whimper]

You're all going to die...

[all scream]

...of laughter!

When you see my one-woman

Halloween improv show!

Playing this week only at the Royal Woods Cemetery.

Everyone will pay...

-[children gasp] -... dollars per entry.

Except seniors and active military,

who get in free!

[cackling]

Gotta admit, that waseffective advertising.

I'm buying a ticket!

[Clyde] Uh-oh.

Trent dropped his hockey mask.

Let's give it back to him.

[watch beeps]

Okay, but we've got to hurry.

[crackling]

[owl hooting]

Aren't those Trent's boots?

[Stella] Pretty sure they weren't smoking a minute ago.

And he was in them.

[grunting]

That looks like the junk I slipped in at Flips!

And the same stuff we saw on Cheryl and Meryl's dinner!

Wait, I ate that.

-What the heck is it? -[sniffing]

Uh, we may have a problem.

[foreboding music playing]

If this test tube turns purple,

the substance in question is...

alien DNA!

[all gasp]

[plops]

[all] Whew!

[all gasp]

So the reason these people are disappearing is...

aliens are abducting them?

Affirmative, Cronk.

-[cell phone rings] -[all gasp]

[rings, buzzes]

Mom?

Lincoln, we need you to come home.

Lucy wants you to play a dead body in the bushes.

[Lincoln] Forget the haunted house!

-"Forget the haunted house"? -What?

Lock the doors and don't let anyone in.

There are aliens afoot!

I'm sorry sweetie, I can't hear you.

-It's really loud in here. -[loud organ music playing]

Luna, would you mind?

I'm on the phone.

No prob. Let me just do a quick finale.

[creepy organ music playing]

-Oh! -[thuds]

Mom! Luna hit me!

[Lincoln] Aliens!

There are aliens in Royal Woods!

Okay, mister.

Time to slow down on the candy.

You sound frantic.

[electricity crackling]

-[doorbell dings] -Hold on, Lincoln.

There's a trick-or-treater at the door.

[Lincoln] Mom, no! Don't open it!

Welcome to the Loud House of Horrors.

Enter... if you dare.

Ooh. Cool costume.

Leni, get a picture.

[camera clicks, whirs]

-[sinister gurgling] -Wait, wait.

-What are you doing? -[growling]

[Dad screams]

-[busy tone droning] -Mom? Dad?

Anyone?

[all gasp]

[grunts]

[panting]

[grunting]

Hello?

Anyone here?

[Stella] Lincoln? I found something.

What is it, Stella?

[ominous music playing]

No! [echoing]

[all panting]

Are your families all safe?

Oh, yeah. Mee Maw said she and Virginia

are hunkering in the hen house.

I'm still trying my parents.

Hello? Hello!

Should we tell him he's been talking to a waffle maker

for the last five minutes?

It's a waffle phone, Stella!

My parents made it so the government

can't listen to our phone calls.

Don't give up!

[gasps] We're here!

-[Lincoln] Come on! -[all panting]

[yawns]

[overlapping chatter]

[Lincoln] ...aliens in Royal Woods!

Okay, okay. One at a time, please.

[overlapping chatter]

Let's try that again.

You first, muscles.

From the beginning.

[clears throat] I was born on a moonless night.

A perfect baby with a full head of flaming red hair.

Yeah. Let's fast-forward a bit.

Look! This alien has landed right here in Royal Woods

and is abducting people!

It even took my family!

Uh-huh. Right.

Every Halloween, it's the same.

Worst night of the year.

Hang tight, guys.

I can help you! Be right back!

Whew. Finally. Someone who gets it.

Corporal Kweeb reporting for duty, Commander Fox!

I love Planet Protection Patrol!

In fact, I was gonna go trick-or-treating

-after my shift. -[kids gasp]

Greetings, sister.

It warms my suction cups

to see a fellow Huey Huey.

[gobbling]

Enough Huey-Hueying!

You don't understand, officer.

This is real! You have to believe us!

Tell you what, swing by the station later

and we can keep this going!

-[kids groan] -[door opens]

If nobody's going to help,

then we'll have to stop these aliens ourselves!

Who else is better equipped to save the world than us?

We're Triple P!

The galaxy's last resort.

So, what's the mission, Foxy?

Where do we start lookin'?

How about over there?

[whooshing]

[expl*si*n]

♪ Cramped inside this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House Loud House ♪

♪ Duck and dodge and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles stacked up high Hand-me-downs make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way it always is in the Loud House ♪