02x03 - Crony Break-up

[bunniefuu]

We interrupt tonight's program to bring

you an important message from the White

House. Barack Obama gave a speech last

week, and thanks to him, we're no longer

allowed to be r*cist towards black

people. But we got to have somebody to be

r*cist to. So Eskimos, you're it. Angry

little Eskimos always breaking into

houses to support their nasty blubber

addiction. Why don't you paddle back to

where you came from, Eskimos? I have 47

different ways of saying I hate Eskimos.

Or if you don't want to do Eskimos, we

can be r*cist to redheads at David

Caruso. Freaks me out.

Tonight's episode, episode 6

is just like a

nickname for the episode.

All right, g*ng, we're going to win this

thing, and that's a scientific fact.

Volcanoes. Because God is angry. You

can't be serious. Someone called a 12th

century. We've got a scientific

breakthrough. What's next? Are you going

to teach me how to get the demons out

of my skull? Don't tempt me, okay? Little

cronies, tell me about your project. OK,

Tracy, we're here to talk about why

volcanoes erupt and try to keep up.

Basically, you take this stuff here. It's

called God's angry powder. You dump it in

this volcano.

Hey, you destroyed our dinosaur project.

See, I don't believe that you're a

dinosaur project ever existed. Did you

guys even read the chapter on volcanoes

in your science book? Actually, much of

that text had to be redacted. National

security. Hmm. Let me introduce

White House scientist Doctor Daniels.

Pleasure. He turns whatever crazy ideas

we have into facts. So, in conclusion,

anytime something happens that we can't

explain, it's because God is angry. Thank

you. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to

give this project an F. An F? Well,

little Connie worked all night on it.

Before you write down that grade, I

thought we might discuss your school's

grade. Of course, I'm referring to your

funding from the No Child Left Behind

deck. Maybe I can convince you with my

science stick.

This year, in light of certain scientific

facts about the nature of God which I

was only just made painfully aware of.

Today's winners are the little cronies.

Congratulations. We did it,

g*ng. This year,

our blue ribbon winners each get a free

ticket for the County Fair.

Now will George come up here and say a

few words? Quick, write me a space and it

better be from my heart. There's no time.

Well, you just had time for your big

there's no time speech. So where's my

speech? You just asked for it. Fine,

because I'm going to have to think of

some of my own.

Ladies and gentlemen.

It's good to see science guys here. And

glasses guy and here guy there. Couldn't

have done of that. Here guy or a

p*nsy there or Tex here got 2 ear

got 3A pizza, soup, ice cream factory,

human tornado, the hoop, crazy boat,

trophy wife, stonesy, Bonesy dog.

All right, he cannot handle it. Rah rah,

Red Chef Mickey Dolan's Peter Torch.

Peter talks. Mickey roared. More for mark

prunes and forks.

Just rest, son, The doctor said to drink

a lot of fluids and try not to nickname

people or your brain will overheat again.

Go play with mummy scissors.

You guys are the best

parents ever. Yes we are

son, yes we are.

Oh, pardon.

Sleepy.

Let's see, Mrs. Fitzgerald here is having

her. Baby removed must be some

kind of baby infection. I think she's

pregnant, doctor. Oh, look who's been

picking up fancy medical words from

house. Wake up, my sleeping Prince.

For a second I thought it was some kind

of scrawny monster trying to eat my face

off. Are you feeling OK? No thanks to you

guys. You left me up a Creek without a

Creek boat. We got something to make it

up to you. You're always giving everyone

else nicknames, so we came up with a

nickname for you #1.

But I'm the nicknamer, and just because

I'm sick, you guys can't steal my thing.

Besides #1 means pee. And I just

basically almost died because you guys

couldn't write a simple speech and you

come here to tell me that I'm a big pile

of pee. We could give you a different

nickname, little George. Like pig guy or

pea guy too. Quick rummy. Take the ball

like always. Me. You're the one who

didn't write his speech. You're the one

who didn't take the fall around the

Teflon kid. No, it's all your fault.

The only one whose fault is not is me.

We're trying to be good friends. Our

mission not accomplished. Why don't you

just get out of here? You get out

of here.

Get away from my eyeballs, I never want

to see you guys again. Fine.

Fine.

Fine Marara

outdoor stock

Awkward. Still

mad?

Fine fun.

Will this be the end for the little Crony

Squad? All I know is if you see an ad for

a seat belt during this commercial break,

I would buy one pronto because we're in

for a bumpy, touching and hilarious ride.

Stay tuned.

OK, this would just be a standard

C-section. I'll just make the incision

here, and we should see the head

of what the That's no baby. He,

man. The master of the universe. Doctor.

Wait, there's more. The Strategic Arms

Reduction Treaty. A historic piece of

diplomacy. Dr. This is a most interesting

pregnancy. Oh, wait, there's more.

Hmm, this is weird. Check the chart. Is

Miss Fitzgerald a six year old boy? No.

We may have made a terrible mistake,

Doctor. Oh quick, help me cram these toys

back in. Yeah,

not the he man. It's my kids birthday

next week.

I can find a better friend than those

guys, but not too good. Don't want to get

outside. People need to know I'm still

the main guy. What the hell is that? That

is one ugly *** ** * *****. Hey,

ugly kid, can you be my friend? I'm

little Fred Thompson. I can be anything

from a gruff but wise military official

to a gruff but wise District Attorney. I

don't get it. How can you be all those

guys? Well, I'm an actor. I tell stories.

It sounds like lying. It's like lying to

people who know they're being lied to.

Well, I like what you're selling,

handsome. Come on, little Condi. You

don't need a little George. There's got

to be someone else out there who's

exactly like him. Arrogant, bullheaded,

willing to exploit.

Sorry, little Giuliani. Well, watch

where you're going. Listen, you're either

with me or against me. You're not against

me, are you? No, I don't think so. Good,

because I could use a new crony. I think

I might be good at that. I'm around a

table, for one. Oh, have you come to join

me?

I'm not a ghost. I'm just tiny, Tiny

Kucinich. It's great. You ought to be my

friend. I've always wanted a friend. I

beat it. Oh, a bird.

Hello, friend. You know I can understand

what birds are saying. This one's saying

I want to soar in the class.

You don't belong to the Audubon Society,

do you fam? Around bleeding heart?

Well, you eat lunch with the friends you

have, not the friends you might want or

wish to have at a later time. And right

now I got no friends. I'd be happy

to be your friend, little Mitt Romney, at

your service. Romney and Romney, Romney

and Romney. It's perfect. I sure am glad

I found you. You found me. But have you

found the Jesus? You mean like a church?

Sure. I mean, what if Jesus had even more

adventures, like with maybe the American

idiots? More adventures? And what if in

these adventures, Jesus decided that

polygamy was OK, caffeinated beverages

were bad, and that we should sing a lot

and baptize dead Jews?I'm a

little confused. Good. That's good.

That's the first step. Now come on, let's

go get you some crazy underpants.

It's every pudding.

That blows lunch.

Jeff, it's unusual situation.

So what does this play you want me

to try out for anyway? Acus Equus. It's

very avant-garde. I hope that means I can

be a tree. OK, little George, please tell

us about your previous acting experience.

The only acting I've ever done is to

stick out from school. What accent is

that? My accent was Texas. No,

it's definitely not Texas. Well, Texas by

way of Connecticut. Hmm, that doesn't

make any sense either. Now, because of

this role involves nudity, we're going to

need you to take off your clothes.

What spoil roll, George? You're not

afraid to do nude, are you? Look, at

least take off your shirt.

I.

Jeez, don't they have any gyms in Texas

by way of Connecticut?

Official dirty Hey, little George

is getting away.

And now **** to grow on with little

Fred Thompson.

ab*rtion. Everybody's doing it right.

Grab a club soda, hop in your skateboard,

and knockout a couple ab*rtion on your

way to the mall. They're the cool thing

to do, right? Wrong. Having an ab*rtion

isn't cool. Oh sure, it's safe,

convenient, and completely legal, but

it's not cool. If you want to look cool,

try smoking and k*ll your unborn child

the natural way.

Thanks for coming over to my house,

little Giuliani. I had so much fun

hanging out with you today. I didn't miss

my old friends at all. Yes, by exercising

our freedom to hang out. The t*rrorists

didn't win today. Hey, is that yourcloset?

Ah, it was so much fun playing dolls. My

old friends always thought it was too

girly. I love dolls. Playing dolls is

another way I didn't let the t*rrorists

win today. What I'm trying to say is

you're just like little George, but you.

You're wearing my dress. Aren't you a

little old for training bras? A real

woman needs a bra she can let herself go

in. Luckily I had an extra 1 in my purse.

This is getting weird.

So what do you want to do? Want to play

some baseball? Sure. Baseball is good.

Nah, I don't want to play baseball. How

about football? Yeah, I like football.

That could be fun. You know, public

support for footballs waning. You know

what people really want to play now?

Baseball. Look, you're a flip flopping

like crazy. How do you expect to be

friends? First of all, I never said we

were friends. And if I did, it was a

different time back then. I miss little

George. He never flip flops. It doesn't

matter how wrong he is, he's always

right. Yeah. I mean, no.

Look, I know we're different, but

sometimes differences are what make

friendships great. Ramaran, go away.

Gosh, has anyone ever told you you

have a wonderful voice?

Yellow,



tons. Another day

older. Saint

Peter, don't you call me.

My soul to the.

I need you up here. I

think actually you're singing a little

too low. Don't argue. I had

three years of voice lessons.

Hi fellows, you know I dream of

flying too.

Ah.

That's brilliant. He's let the C-section

scars heal with his stomach still open,

forming a pudding hole. Yeah, there's

nothing people love more than pudding.

And now there's finally a way to eat it

without any of the guilt. The pudding

hole is going to make stomach stapling

and tummy tucks obsolete. We're going to

be rich, young man. You're a genius.

Stop, say, pointing for later.

Oh. Fishy 3, You're my last friend

in the whole world. Look at you swimming

around in there trying to make me laugh.

I see that you just made a fish poop

for me. It's good work, Fishy 3. But

somehow, somehow, it's not enough. This

is a job for my old Gibson.

ALOWN.

Why am I so alone?

CLOWN.

I feel like a clone.

These underpants keep

crawling, crawling up

my crack.

I wish I had my old friends.

My old friends back.

Every day with joy.

Was a day in hell.

Where we're at, ******* friendshiparound.



Of the Elonis.

And now, spots to grow on with little

Rudy Giuliani. How does

it feel to be a hero? I don't think I'm

any different than any other brave guy

who saw a tragedy happening, saw his

fellow citizens in trouble, and had the

courage to take advantage of the

situation for their own personal gain.

Hero. No, you could just call me Rudy.

Like the football hero.

George, hurry up, you're missing the

commercials. Are you tired of fantasy?

We're wait yo yos like a yo-yo. To be

honest, I'm extremely tired of them. Then

we've got to say that you'll love the

pudding hole. It's as simple as adding a

hole to your lifestyle. I had

tried all the gimmicks. Putting all is

the real deal technology of the

incredible pudding hole is your answer to

feeling good about yourself.

Invent pudding hole. Oh

my God, I have to have one. I just got

all my loose change alphabetized. I'm not

about to go spending it so you can leak

pudding all around this house.

Little George, I thought you were at the

County Fair with your friends. No, since

me and the cronies broke up, I got a bad

case of the aloneies. Oh great. He

probably wants a feelings hole to let his

feelings leak out. I see. I only have so

much change. You 2. No, I feel like I'm

missing my arms. One that's really

scrawny and does all my homework and

another arm that beats people up for me

and a third arm that's awesome and hates

everything. Oh sweetie, it sounds like

you miss your friends. You've got to go

to them and speak from your. Heart. My

heart. Oh, that was my problem. I was

speaking from my mouth. Good advice, mom.

I'm going to give it a shot.

All right, George, what's wrong with this

picture? Looks like those two gorillas

have escaped from the zoo again. No,

George, my stomach is still shockingly

homeless, and I'm getting the girls waxed

tomorrow. All right, if it'll shut your

pie hole, you can get a pudding hole.

Oh, George, you've earned a gorilla

attack.

And where the heck are my friends?

A little Giuliani, call me Julie. Okay,

Julie, I don't think this is working out.

I'll say I thought you were my size,

but none of your clothes fit me right.

I think this is the only way you'll

understand that our friendship is truly

over. I'm OK with that.

Or not. You know your lunch and I

were just talking the other day about the

magical beauty of flying clear for

takeoff around. It's even better than I

dreamed it.

Hello, Carney. There's a little rummy

too. Little rummy guys up here.

Oh my God, they're all going on the spin

zone. I got to get on that ride and get

my friends back.

Little Chinese reporters were around

little George. Hey, we're all here. I

just wanted to tell you guys, Strapping

kid writes about to start.

Well, I just wanted to say that, well, oh

God. I think I'm gonna be sick.

What were you saying?What I'm

trying to say is that I missed my old

nickname for you guys, Brad.

You're getting puke all over.

Let's all be best

cronies for.

Over forever at Deep Fried Twinkies.

I just

missed my

Chrome.

Crunch, crunch. He ate a bunch. Oh,

Poppy, feast your eyes on this. Wow bar.

You. You look as good as Vanna White.

I'd like to buy a vowel right now.

And the vowel I'd like to buy is

you, you know, meaning, meaning you, not

the Val. Oh, George. And look, you can

barely notice my pudding hole. Oh, I'd

I'd like to solve the puzzle. What is?

German vest, millions and no fan. What is

it, Jeb? Squirrels.

Oh George, I have got to have



Why don't you just get out of here? You

get out of here.

That's it. Get away from my eyeballs.

German bed pudding hole.