02x05 - Love and Be Loved

[bunniefuu]

[intriguing music playing]

- [footsteps]
- [water dripping]

Wait.

[Jason] Look.

[Jasons groaning, whispering]

We didn't come to stop you.

We figured that your only chance
at a normal life was to leave this world.

[Jasons] Yeah, he's right. Uh-huh.

We came to say goodbye.

[melancholy music playing]

I'm sorry.

I just want you and Charlie to be safe.

And you.

Take care of them.

[sorrowful music playing]

[breathes shakily]

[breathing heavily]

[crying]

[mournful music playing]

[wind whistling]

[breathes deeply]

[crying]

[grunts]

[breathing heavily]

[tense music playing]

[breathing heavily]

[tense music intensifies]

[gasps]

[wind whistling]

[gasps]

[hopeful music playing]

[breathes shakily]

[breathing heavily]

[tense music playing]

[sniffling]

[sighs]

[tense music continues]

- [animals chittering]
- [trees creaking]

[door opens]

[breathing heavily]

[blows]

[blows, breathes shakily]

[door opens, closes]

[door rattling]

[door creaks]

[breathing shakily]

[breathing shakily, sniffling]

[sniffling]

[chuckling]

[groans]

[both crying]

[breathes deeply]

[inhales deeply]

A long time ago, the last time I saw you…

[breathing deeply]

You were on a mortuary rack.

Your face was blue.

Your chest was black and purple.

[inhales sharply]

You were sixteen.

How is this possible?

[breathes shakily, mutters]

Is it really you?

[chuckles] Yeah.

[sniffles] Yeah.

[sighs]

Yes. Mom.

It's me.

It's really…

It's me.

[Jason sniffles]

[melancholy music playing]

[sighs deeply]

[train rattling overhead]

[sighs]

[floorboards creak]

[footsteps thud]

[melancholy music continues]

[sighs]

[sniffs]

[melancholy music continues]

[patrons chattering]

- [chuckles]
- I'm… I'm from Chicago. Surprise.

[mutters] I'm… It's a long story.
It's a long story.

- Drink now.
- Yeah.

[mutters]

Matt!

What?

Give me more whiskey.

You know that… I can say that.
More whiskey.

Come on. Come on.

- No, no, no. That's enough.
- It's Christmas.

- Santa, Santa, come on.
- I love you…

I love you, but it's time to go, bud.
It's time to go.

f*cking hell. Are you gonna vote?

You're gonna kick me out?

Time to… Just for tonight. Come on.

- One more. Come on.
- Here's your coat. You want your coat?

Jason.

[Jason gagging, spits]

[breathing shakily]

[leaves rustling]

[bird cawing]

[bird cawing]

[grunts, sighs]

[bird caws]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[groans]

[melancholy music playing]

[door closes]

[groans]

[Jason's mom] Jason.

[Jason sighs]

[grunts]

[train rattling]

[sighs]

[music ends]

Is your plan to drink yourself to death?

[Jason breathes shakily]

If you can't stop drinking,
then let's get you some help.

If you don't want help…

…then know that I love you.

[grunts, sighs]

But I'm…

not strong enough
to watch my son die again.

[crying]

[door creaks]

[Jason sighs]

[sniffs]

[grunts]

[grunts, sniffles]

[sighs]

[sniffles]

[door opens, closes]

[Jason sniffles]

[grunts, sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[train rattling]

[pensive music playing]

[drill whirring]

[pensive music continues]

[sighs]

[sniffles]

[Jason sighs]

[music fades]

[birds chirping]

Did you ever think about
getting married again?

[melancholy music playing]

I went on two dates about a year after.

It just didn't feel right.

Do you ever feel lonely?

Your father and I
had twenty-three great years together.

- And I had sixteen years with you.
- [chuckles]

Some people don't even have
one good year with anyone.

Thank you for letting me stay with you.

Thank you for believing in me.

[music fades]

[person coughing]

[coughing]

[wheezes]

[pensive music playing]

[door closes]

[sighs]

[melancholy music playing]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Only if you want.

[grunts]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[wind whistling]

[saw whirring]

[whirring]

I have eight orders for my chairs!

That's my son.

I'm so proud of you.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

I was wondering…

The twins' birthday is coming up soon.

Is it okay if maybe
we put up a tree over there?

- Oh, I would love that.
- Okay.

[train rattling]

[pensive music playing]

[Jason] "I felt myself
still reliving the past,

which was no longer anything more
than the history of another person."

[sighs]

At 14 weeks, we went in
for the first ultrasound

and we heard two heartbeats.

And we went from sheer joy
to sheer terror…

and back to joy again.

[Jason] "For there in this world
in which everything wears out…

everything perishes,

one thing that crumbles into dust,

that destroys itself
still more completely,

leaving behind still fewer traces
of itself than beauty:

namely grief."

[sighs]

[Jason chuckling]

[partner chuckles]

[Jason] Yeah. Good luck.

Okay.

[partner laughs]

Thank you.

[laughs]

Yeah, of course.

- Socks! For both of you!
- Oh.

- Yeah, uh…
- [laughs]

Yeah.

- I'll swap you. [laughs]
- [laughs]

[Jason] Socks. Wow. Yeah.

Mom…

For you.

For me?

Yeah, well…

From Santa.

[laughs]

- From Santa.
- It's from Santa.

[laughs] Mmm.

[chuckles]

Oh! So nice! Isn't it nice?

[doctor speaking indistinctly]

[sorrowful music playing]

We could try radiation…

which may… may be the best option.

[continues speaking indistinctly]

[sorrowful music continues]

[music fades]

You have so much to offer someone.

[sighs]

One day you're going to wake up
and realize that you're old…

Do you want to be alone?

[chuckles]

When I first arrived here,

I thought I did.

[melancholy music playing]

Now, it's suddenly six years
since I left my world.

[inhales sharply] And…

That life feels like…

[inhales deeply]

…a dream.

A beautiful dream.

No… I don't want to be alone.

[grunts]

[customers chattering]

[door opens, closes]

[sniffs]

[sniffs]

Just in here smelling books?

[chuckles]

You saw that?

Afraid so.

All right, come on, don't pretend
you're not doing it when no one's around.

Well, why do you think
I bought this store?

Oh, so you're Maria.

- Uh-huh.
- Nice store.

You must be Jason.

I saw you getting out
of your truck across the street.

Oh, yeah.

Do you only make chairs?

Yeah. Yeah.

Like, no tables or dressers?

Bookshelves?

[chuckles]

Afraid not, no.

Well, can I help you find something?

Yeah, I'm looking for the last volume
of In Search of Lost Time.

Well… That's like my prison read.

[chuckles] Your what?

Oh, it's just one of those sprawling
classics you will never get through

unless you were locked up
and had nothing but time.

That makes sense.

I, uh, started reading it
while I was in the clink.

[Maria] Huh.

I'm messing with you.

Phew. Because my last two boyfriends
were felons.

How is that book?

It's dense.

It's… It's challenging.

You really know how to sell a thing.

But… [stammers] …it's also amazing.

You know, it's kind of about the idea
that our memories of places and-and people

stay with us
whether we want them to or not.

And it's about the search for truth.

What?

["Symphony No. 3, Op. 36" playing]

Come on. I'll show you where it is.

Oh, okay.

[no audible dialogue]

[birds chirping]

["Symphony No. 3, Op. 36" continues]

[grunting, panting]

[gasps]

[sighs]

[panting]

[monitor beeping]

[breathing deeply]

[inhales deeply]

[groans]

[clears throat]

[grunts]

[whispers] Night.

[music ends]

[inhales deeply, sighs]

[sighs]

- [birds chirping]
- [dog barking]

[train rattling]

[breathes deeply]

[inhales sharply, sighs]

[Jason mutters]

Sleep okay?

Need anything?

I'm going to make some tea,

and then read to you.

That always helps you feel better, right?

[sucks teeth]

Oh.

Which one do you want?

It starts out…

"I sit beside the fire and think…"

Yeah, I remember.

Let's see.

[softly] Oh, where are you?

[chuckles]

This one.

You signed this book to me…

when I was ten. [chuckles]

[chuckles]

And you…

Every time you came to a sad part…

[sighs, gasps]

[groans] …you'd tear up,

and hand the book over to me to sign.

[chuckles]

And then I would sign for you.

[clears throat]

[melancholy music playing]

"I sit beside the fire and think

of all that I've seen.

The meadow flowers and butterflies
and summers that have been.

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were."

"With morning mist
and silver sun and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire
and think of how the world will be

when winter comes without a spring that…

[shakily] …that I shall never see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen."

"In every wood in every spring,
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire
and think of people long ago.

And people who will see a world…
[sniffles] …that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit
and think of times there were before.

I listened for returning feet
and voices at the door."

[sighs]

[Maria humming]

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Jason] Hey.

Hi.

[humming]

[tender music playing]

Babe, I can help
as soon as I get this in the oven.

Uh, it's almost all of it.

I got it.

- [softly] Okay.
- [singsongy] Huh.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Any chance you could do me a favor?

Mm-hmm.

I misjudged how much powdered sugar
I'd need to frost the cake.

Wow, you're going all out, huh?

Yeah, we're celebrating.

It's your first night here.

[chuckles] All right.

- Be right back.
- Okay.

- Oh, and get some wine.
- Uh-huh.

None of the California bullshit.

[chuckles] Okay.

[door opens, closes]

[sighs]

[sniffs]

[gasps]

[sobs]

[customer] Who are they for?

[stammers] A girlfriend.

- [chuckles]
- We just moved in together.

Oh. Nice.

Congratulations.

But you don't want those.

No?

- No.
- [chuckles]

[sighs]

Roses.

Yeah, always roses.

Hey, good luck.

[downcast music playing]

- [vehicle approaching]
- [sighs]

[sighs]

Hey.

[breathing heavily]

[kisses]

[tender music playing]

[sighs]